#I really hate all the $15 gift cards I have to shitty restaurants that I dont want to eat at

[thepowerisyouth]

This started as a simple rant about gift cards but is probably turning into my master post on the lost story of the corporate gift card valuation crisis.

Starts as the simple rant but gets more technical in economics and accounting as it goes on- so fair warning.

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Gift cards are often thought of as a boring, low effort gift, although more polite than cash. Plenty of good reasons why they are a bad gift from a thoughtfulness standpoint, but I'm going to focus on the financial value.

Adult humans that live under capitalism are generally, learnedly able to understand the time value of money, even if they cant physically execute the calculations on paper. If you dont believe me, just trust me-- its how all of economics works. We are generally able to value things very well according to our own subconscious estimations.

This is not to say people who receive a gift card are just focused on the dollar figure, however I think the financial frustration lies with the fact that, inherently a $25 gift card is worth less than $25 cash. Probably a lot less

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As a present, gift cards remind me, actually, of the stereotype of a grandparent buying their descendents, "war bonds", but somehow gift cards are even worse.

Sorry this is going to be a long explanation of why gift cards suck--

A war bond, which is now simply called a US Treasury bill or bond, is a 'redeemable certificate', which allows the current owner to be sure that the dollar amount (face value) shown on the certificate will be granted, plus interest accumulated from the point of issue until the present date, and the note is redeemable early in most common cases, and is redeemable at most banks or financial institutions around the world. Well... they might not now but they are supposed to

Section 1. Bond overviews

These Treasury bonds are just debt that the US government, i.e. the taxpayers, have to pay back to whoever purchased this bond.

Economics is intended to be confusing to understand, an example of this being how they love to make it hard to understand that every time you hear about bonds and interest rates they are talking about gambling with our public taxpayer debt. Calling it "buying bonds" makes it seem more normal investy stuff

Anyway-- so this is debt right? Well like all debt, it requires a good credit score, and collateral. The official term is "backed by the full faith and credit of the United States Government"

In summary of this section using numbers:

If you get a treasury bond that says $100 & 5% annual interest, the Treasury department guarentees you can receive $100 amount in the future (maturity date), as well as $5 per year for your troubles, unless the US government is toast at any point.

If the holder sells the bond prematurely on the 'secondary market'--which is the clever term for the stock market for bonds-- they might get more or less than the "face value" depending on current interest rates, if those current rates differ from the interest rate set on the bond at hand.

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Section 2: Basic Bond Valuation

So using previous example, the face value of $100, and that only comes back from the treasury department on maturity day (up to 30 years away now for long term bonds)

So in the meantime, people "trade" (gamble most of the time) those bonds on the market. Cause why the fuck not?

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Most of the time, in a non inflationary environment, bonds with expiration dates of less than 5 years do not change price much at all in this 'secondary market'.

Why? Well--

In an inflationary environment (only recent examples are 1970s & 2020s) most bonds are decreasing in value, with the lowest interest rate bonds decreasing the most. Every other period has bond prices generally flat (so you still get the 5% interest) or trending up

The economic mechanics behind what lowers bond prices in high interest rate environments is pretty simple-- if I have a 30 year loan the government owes me, with 5% annual interest, and the guy who bought the same 30 year bond back in 2017 only got 2% interest, then I have an inherently more valuable loan or bond.

Going to start circling back to gift cards-- A 0% bond is only worth more than a negative interest bond.

(looking at you japan they were briefly paying banks 0.5% interest to borrow money from the government. As in a -0.5% interest loan)

Okay gift cards time

$25 Gift card = corporate bond of face value $25, with 0% interest, and is only redeemable in person at the companies restaurant with immediate purchase of their product

A gift card is identical then to the boring "war bond" gift, except that:

1) it can only be redeemed at their limited locations in person, and only with immediate purchase of their product or service

2) this certificate does not accrue any interest, which means that from a value standpoint its guarenteed to lose value over time unless interest rates are below 0% like japan had

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Again, most people are very capable of understanding that the value of a 0% corporate bond which cannot be easily sold is worth less than the face value-- much less. Just most people probably dont have the experience in finance to put to words why exactly that situation is so frustrating from a financial standpoint

What a stupid gift, cash is way better.

Especially in an inflationary environment like the 2020s. my god the valuation loss of all the gift cards recently is incalculablely enormous

It would be a very snarky, not nice response to being gifted a gift card if the receiver replies back that the technical market value of this $25 gift card is actually $14.75 due to the current globally high interest rate environment in addition to the company having a BBB Moody's credit rating rather than a perfect AAA

I'm very, very tempted to do a sample valuation of a random hypothetical gift card to reinforce this point, but valuations arent quick and I already know it would take me half the day just researching the numbers to put together for it

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I had no idea I was going to have this much to say but we're on edit #4 to this post Im gonna keep going:

The inflation of the 2020s has led to the largest (by dollar value and probably other metrics) corporate bond valuation crash of the.. ever

But corporate bonds are mostly held by the upper middle class & higher, as well as other corporations. So of course we hear them crying about their loss of wealth. Easiest example can be found by looking for the annual returns on an ETF which trades only corporate bonds. They got fucked in 2021 and arent back yet

What I'm getting at is that most poor people do not own individual bonds-- its just not really something that makes sense as a poor person.

Back to poor people's wealth--

Someone who has a retirement funds might invest in corporate bonds through that fund. But dont get me started on how complicated those funds investment strategies are to mitigate the risk (but yes they arent good at risk mitigation lose value a lot from dumb preventable mistakes).

And also looking at 5 yr price charts for many retirement funds, the ones with more corporate bond holdings have done way worse than their peers in the retirement fund game who put more money in stocks over that period

Poor people do, however, give each other gift cards... a lot. Weve kind of been told for a long time that its a more appropriate gift than cash. I wonder whod want us to think that. Maybe the corporations who are getting away with selling hard-to-redeem junk bonds as "gift cards"?

Likewise with all corporate bonds lately, the total balance of gift cards issued & held by the general public is larger than it has ever been in prior decades like the 1970s. There was issues with gift cards then, just the total amount was much, much less

Except probably not anymore-- only the face value being reported on their financial statements is that high, as accounting standards do not require companies to regularly value their gift card balances at market value. They are allowed to report it at face value, until it is removed from their balance sheet and resolved as pure income. Not 100% sure the GAAP guidance for it, but I know they dont HAVE to specifically mark down gift cards as they dont have expiration dates. I know that if a company did need to mark down that debt balance for whatever reason, the only way to lower that balance is by calling it "other income".

So poor people have felt a multi-billion dollar loss of wealth from gift card values, which is obviously not ever going to be studied or talked about cause who the fuck cares about poor people

And when that loss does get "realized" from an accountant standpoint-- it would be considered income for the fucking corporations.

Actually reminds me of Starbucks class action about the gift card balance. Lot to dig into there but thats more because of their extra predatory practices around redeeming it

[automnehiver]

For the lesbian as : 1 to 50. Do them all. T'aura pas le courage, I dare you

Don’t fucking underestimate me (thanks for the ask, I actually really wanted to do this ; find one so I can make you do the same)

1. Sun lesbian or moon lesbian

Moon I guess, since I became all romantic and shit staring at the moon and smoking when I had my first love as a teen

2. Flannel lesbian or sweater lesbian

Flannel………………………………….

3. Curly fry lesbian or waffle fry lesbian

Honestly I ???? We don’t even have these in France, but curly sounds fun

4. Thrift store lesbian or high brow lesbian

Thrift store for some things but I also like things that are a bit classy, over all coats………but you could also find me picking up a jean jacket from a thrift shop so………………………..it’s hard to choose one tbh

5. 70’s disco lesbian or 90’s grunge lesbian

90′s !!! I love old shirts with shitty designs and pastel colors from the overuse

6. Fat cat lesbian or hairless cat lesbian

Fat cat, but I’d prefer my cat healthy honestly ; poor cat

7. Chinese takeout lesbian or pizza delivery lesbian

CHINESE TAKEOUT

8. Big dog lesbian or tiny dog lesbian

Big dog, wtf are even chihuahuas

9. MoMA lesbian or metropolitan lesbian

Louvre lesbian, sry

10. Matte nail lesbian or glossy nail lesbian

No nail polish lesbian, since you can’t possibly use your fingers for sex if you put on some ; unless you’re a gloves-during-sex lesbian but yeah no

11. Red lipstick lesbian or dusty rose lesbian

I love both, I put red sometimes but I literally have a damas rose lipstick that looks a little dusty !!

12. Crop top lesbian or maxi dress lesbian

What’s a maxi dress ? I love dresses, I wear one from time to time but I never wore a crop top, though I find it hot

13. Neck kisses lesbian or forehead kisses lesbian

Neck kisses……………definitely (to give and to get)

14. Fluffy fat cat lesbian or tiny hairless cat lesbian

Fluffy cat ! What’s with hairless cats, are lesbians in particular supposed to like them more than other persons ?

15. Leather jacket lesbian or letterman jacket lesbian

Leather jacket !!!

16. Puts too much salt on food lesbian or too much pepper

Too much salt probably……I drown my pasta in maggi

17. Glitter eyeshadow lesbian or matte eyeshadow lesbian

Matte, but it’s been a long time since I’ve put any on ! I’d rather have a really cool lipstick and some mascara

18. Flower lesbian or succulent lesbian

I have both in my house, how should I pick one ? I love succulents, it’s super cute, but I can’t get enough of fresh flowers

19. Ugly cat print sweater lesbian or jean jacket that looks like it’s been through a war lesbian

Jean jacket that looks like it’s been through a war hahahaha

20. Spaghettis lesbian or Kraft dinner lesbian

Spaghettis please

21. Hot chocolate lesbian or lemonade lesbian

I love both to death, over all when the hot chocolate is thick and creamy and a bit strong…but lemons are so cool, ghhhghhghgh can’t pick

22. Champagne lesbian or whiskey lesbian

Definitely whisky

23. Dark aesthetic lesbian or pastel aesthetic lesbian

I’d say pastel for some things but if unicorns are pastel aesthetic then nah ; but I was way darker in my teens

24. Silk velvet lesbian or crushed velvet lesbian

Silk velvet, oh god ; I hate crushed velvet

25. Ball gown lesbian or tuxedo lesbian

Tuxedoooo

26. Forest lesbian or space lesbian

Forest…….I think it’s obvious when you look at my tumblr

27. Lennon glasses lesbian or aviators lesbian

Lennon glasses !! I have a few pairs like this

28. Hestia lesbian or Artemis Lesbian

ARTEMIS IS A QUEEN

29. Nose piercing lesbian or belly button piercing lesbian

Belly button, so it can be kissed

30. Electric guitar lesbian or ukulele lesbian

Honestly I love ukulele, but I also really really like electric guitar………probably ukulele

31. Converse lesbian or doc martens lesbian

Doc martens are life dude

32. Hayley Kiyoko lesbian or Mary Lambert lesbian

Allie X, Tove Lo and Tame Impala lesbian ; I like Hayley but not all of her songs

33. Olive Garden lesbian or Chiles lesbian

Olive garden I guess, but again, we don’t have these restaurants in France

34. Tarot card lesbian or astrology lesbian

Astrology I think, I love constellations and stars

35. Peppermint lesbian or cinnamon lesbian

Cinnamon, but it really isn’t my fave…lately I’ve been developing a thing for strong vanilla in cakes and creams

36. Playing-with-her-hair lesbian or getting-hair-played-with lesbian

Playing with her hair…I don’t know if you saw that Brieuc but when Judith and I were on the couch on Saturday night I started doing it and I didn’t even notice, and I had rarely done it before

37. Victim of tickle attacks lesbian or tickle attacker lesbian

Tickle attacker…I’m unbearable, I’m a fucking child. I’m also the kind of asshole who throws snowballs at you if we’re taking a walk together in winter

38. Tiny tattoo lesbian or whole sleeve of tattoos lesbian

Tiny tattoo, but I love tattoos so much that one day, maybe………

39. Lady and the tramp lesbian or aristocats lesbian

Aristocats ! I was identifying with Thomas O’Malley so much when I was little…I also wanted to be the Tramp in Lady and the tramp, how. about. that

40. Cool Rock collection lesbian or cool leaf collection lesbian

Ooohhhh definitely rock since I have one but I would really like to start a leaf one

41. Art hoe lesbian or music hoe lesbian

Art hoe, but you all knew I was going to reply that right ? Though I get so easily caught in music and when I can appreciate art with musics in my ears I just orgasm

42. 80’s windbreaker lesbian or 80’s blazer lesbian

Blazer I guess, but some colors on windbreakers from the 80′s are super dope

43. Mom jeans lesbian or skinny jeans lesbian

Skinny jeans !

44. Silver lesbian or gold lesbian

Mostly silver I think but there’s one item of gold jewelry I’m wearing all the time because it’s a gift from my girlfriend and I love it so much

45. Flower crown lesbian or snap back lesbian

Can’t get enough of flowers, but I think snap backs on girls are hot

46. Annie on my mind lesbian or rubyfruit jungle lesbian

Wicked lesbian ; though I would like to read these books now that I know about them !

47. Breakfast club lesbian or princess bride lesbian

Uhhh didn’t see any of these, but I saw a bunch of teen movies with Anne Hathaway in it because I think she’s gorgeous

48. “Wanna cuddle?” Lesbian or surprise hug attack lesbian

Surprise hug attack and you have to be ready because I’ll be fucking glued to you if I start ; but other times I can be fucking cold and distant if I am lost in my thoughts or working on something

49. Jupiter lesbian or Pluto lesbian

Neptune is prettier

50. Make her mixtapes lesbian or sketchbook filled with drawings of her lesbian

Sketchbook filled with drawings of her (I somehow lost inspiration during some time because all I could draw was her). Plus she has better taste in music than I do

[mistertcat]

25 Lessons from Age 25

1. HOME IS A VIBE

Throughout my whole life, I always thought home was a place. A city, a state, four walls and a hard-wood floor. I don’t believe this anymore. With my family and friends spread out across the country like a cream-cheesed bagel, I realized now that home is as much everywhere as it is nowhere. It’s in the memories and the songs and the thoughts that race through my mind as I fall asleep. Ain’t no place like it. 

2. SUMMER IN THE SOUTH IS LIKE WINTER IN THE MIDWEST

It’s the kind of lock-yourself-in-and-binge-watch weather that I though only existed in the dark days of Midwest winter. Except in the South, an Irish Coffee does not soften the blow. No liquor nor liquid can save you from this wet heat. It’s like being trapped inside of a beached whale. Just embrace the sweat. Just breathe. It’s the price one pays for 70 and sunny in December.

3. THE SOPRANOS IS THE GREATEST SHOW OF ALL TIME

I don’t know why it took me so long to press play on episode one. Probably some combination of fears. The fear that one cultural phenomenon from the early 2000’s could never live up to the hype. The fear that 7 seasons might as well be considered a hobby. In any case, the fear wasn’t warranted. The character depth on this show could home a giant squid. It’s simply the best.

4. NFL KICKERS ARE VALUABLE 

Every August, I offer up my emotional wellbeing to the 53-man roster of the San Diego Chargers. And every year, they find an innovative way to lose games – spiraling me into a fit of heated disappointment for 2-3 subsequent days. This year, my anguish was at the feet of 5 incompetent kickers. Never in my life have I seen so many different people do equally shitty at the same job. 9-7 could have been so much more.

5. TALES FROM THE CRYPT

I don’t really know what crypto currency is and I don’t really care to do the research. All I know is that my roommates convinced me to buy some. Now, on a daily basis, I’ve either lost everything or I’ve exponentially multiplied my money. It’s a great way to inject some crippling fear into your otherwise stable life.

6. I CAN ROUGH IT

We were warned that humans should not go to the Appalachian Mountains in such hazardous winter conditions. “That’s cute,” they said. “I love camping and I would never do that,” they said. I laughed this off as I soaked up the rays of the mountain sun. At the tender hour of 6 PM, I knew they were right. Never in my life have I been so cold, but I survived the night. 

7. THE GRIND IS REAL

My dentist recently told me that I grind my teeth when I sleep. I didn’t really believe him until my first night with a sleep-in mouth guard. I woke myself up 3 times from chomping down on that bad boy like corn on the cob. Touché mister dentist…touché.

8. HOW TO EAT CRAWFISH

It’s way harder than it fuckin looks, and everyone has a style that they think is right. The most effective way for me: Rip off that head, slurp the juices, crunch the sides of the tail lightly, peel back the shell, and eat the meat. Repeat until you are disgusted with yourself.

9. DON’T SKIMP ON THE FISH BOWL CONDITIONER

Instead of running out to PETCO to grab another bottle of water conditioner, I thought I could stretch out the last remaining bit among two bowls and re-up for the next round. The next morning, I found both of my Beta fish (Pepperjelly and Kyrie) dead at the bottom of their tanks. The scene will stick with me until I too am dead. I’m so so sorry guys. 

10. KEEP IT SALTY

The easiest way to turn your body into Gumby and your brain into gum balls is through a hot epsom salt bath. I don’t know what they put in that stuff, but I am hooked. You ladies had this shit down a long time ago and I applaud you for it.

11. HOW TO FLY ON AN AIRPLANE

I flew on more planes this past year than I did the 24 years prior combined. With lots of practice, you learn little things that assist on the journey. Firstly, download your Spotify playlists before the flight so you can listen in the sky. Secondly, use the debit card with the bad strip and they will give you your Gin & Tonic for free to avoid holding up the line.

12. HOW TO MAKE A GOOD GIN & TONIC 

I had a new-found love and appreciation for this drink in 2017. It’s sharp, yet refreshing. Sophisticated, yet simple. Just a damn good drink for the night time hours. Pour 2 shots gin and 2 ½ shots tonic over a ¾ full glass of ice cubes. Top with a one-second squirt of lime juice. Stir and drink with a colorful bendy straw. Add a splash of orange or cranberry juice if you are feeling “tropical.” Enjoy.

13. THE RAPPER’S WRITING PROCESS

There’s something magical about the driver’s seat that I just can’t get from sitting down at a desk. As much as I like to write, I’ve never written a song on paper. I start with a line in my head and say it out loud and build it bit by bit, so by the time it’s done I already have it memorized. With the beats blasting, I can write and recite over and over until it’s polished. Sometimes at night I drive up and down the same strip of Canal St. while I work on a song. I probably look like a drunkard, but process is process.

14. KENDRICK LAMAR HAS MY BACK

DAMN. came out about one week before I moved from Omaha to New Orleans, and it served as the soundtrack to my re-location. It was the sound of a transition of styles. Something new, scary, and exciting. Fast forward six months, and I’m feeling lost. I see Kendrick live on stage at Voodoo Fest, surrounded by thousands of people chanting “We gon’ be alright!” in unison. His presence alone feels like some sort of divine intervention. He was my support system throughout this whole thing.

15. BEWARE THE SPICY SALADS 

I learned this lesson twice at 25. The first time was a pre-packaged Cajun salad at Louis Armstrong Intl. Airport in New Orleans. The pink dressing made my eyes water and I was completely taken off guard. It was a good burn. The second time was at the Chili’s in the Dallas Fort-Worth Airport. Their chipotle ranch dressing was spicy on a practical joke kind of level. When the waiter asked if I wanted more dressing we both laughed in a “fuckin good one” kind of way. My subsequent flight was the worst of my life.

16. I CAN ROCK A CAP

I always thought that my head was too small or misshapen for hats. I experimented at age 15 and hated the results. Since then, I have largely avoided the idea altogether. One Autumn day, I tried on a random hat hanging on the coatrack and my whole view changed. My head was made for the so-called “dad cap.” My hair might not last forever, but a new door has been opened when it comes to cranial decorations.

17. DON’T BET ON THE SPREAD

You might as well buy something instead of just throwing your money away on sports betting. “Oh, Creighton is a 9-point underdog to Gonzaga?! This is too good to be true!” Creighton lost by 17 and this was the first and last time I will bet on a sporting event. Even at the casino, you play games and get free drinks. Sports betting is a hot date that never shows up to the restaurant. Enjoy that cold dinner alone, Tyler. You deserve it.

18. CLOTHES STEAMER > CLOTHES IRON

Light, compact, effective, and efficient. I don’t know how I got by without one  of these gizmos before. Just put that shirt on a hanger and blast away with some steam. It’s almost too easy. Word of caution: DO NOT use the clothes steamer while you are wearing the clothes. I did this and got a Burger King looking grill mark burn on my chest for about a week.

19. I HAVE A THING FOR FRENCH GIRLS

Namely, French girl singers of the 1960s. France Gall, Brigitte Bardot, Françoise Hardy, and the like. I have no idea what they are saying in their joyous tunes, but it’s so buttery that I don’t care. I feel like I understand it nonetheless. I also met Marion this year, a real-life lady from France. She loved to dance and I will miss her.

20. ALONE TIME IS A GIFT

I took this for granted when I had my own apartment with just me and my cat Pancake. I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and got very little pushback on my lifestyle choices. If I cleaned up, it stayed clean unless I made a mess. If I wanted to sleep in, I slept in. It was simple. Now, with two roommates, I’ve learned to cherish the time I get alone. You never know how long it will last.

21. I CAN FINISH AN AUDIOBOOK

It’s always been difficult for me to read an entire book. I get bored, my eyes get tired, and after a while, I’m just reading words while thinking about food or when I fucked up “memorable” in the 5th grade spelling bee. “M-O-M...do I have to finish?” My love of podcasts has been around since my late teens, so it seems pretty obvious that audiobooks might be a good way to absorb some literature. Obvious or not, it took me several years to figure that out. I’m very happy to have gained valuable insights from Chuck Klosterman, Malcolm Gladwell, Tina Fey, and others this past year.

22. THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT TYPES OF POOLS

Back in Nebraska, I knew of three types: home, public, and country club. I figured that this was just how pools worked in the United States. I was wrong. There are all sorts of weird pools. Swanky rooftop pools with all attractive people and $15 drinks. Tiny park pools that look like Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater creations. And then there is The Drifter. A pool for the punk scene where tops are optional. What a world we live in.

23. AMAZON PRIME IS AN INCREDIBLE DEAL

I had my entire living arrangement shipped for free to my doorstep in 2 days. Bed and desk and chairs - everything. The works. If it can be bought, you can buy it on Amazon. On top of that, you can watch Transparent, Mozart in the Jungle, and One Mississippi. If that’s not worth $100, I don’t know what is.

24. TALKSPACE THERAPY IS MY SHIT

Thank you for everything Jenise! 

25. YOU CAN MAKE NEW FRIENDS, BUT YOU CAN NEVER REPLACE YOUR HOMIES

You know who you are. You know all of the dumb shit we’ve done. You were there through all of the bad breakups and shakeups and opportunities to eat chicken wings. It has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated. I love you guys and gals to death.