#I really wish I had the freedom and funds and friends to enjoy summer. I really do

[seilon]

i wish there was a cure for the sheer genuine dread I feel for summer like I really can’t stand it

[bleachhaven]

Soutaicho’s Secret Admirer (Shunsui x Reader) - Part 1/6

This is a little something that was floating around in my head. This is the 1st of a 2-part series. Let me know your thoughts! :)

---

It wasn't like how it was back in the 8th. Not anymore. Back then, his overindulgence of sake the night before meant sleeping late into the afternoon till Nanao-chan deemed it necessary to come find him. 

Last night, he'd spent a bit of time with Ukitake, toasting his life with just a cup of sake. It had meant to be just one cup but toasting his best friend's life in front of his memorial slowly spiraled into a full-on imbibing session to forget the reality.

And now, here he was, in his office way before he wanted to be, keeping his eye open by force. Being the Soutaicho took a lot out of him. Especially his sleep. Not to mention his peace of mind.

At least he had Nanao-chan.

"Taichou," she called out to him, softer than usual. She didn't hesitate when needed to snap him out of his laziness with a strategic slap from her kido text book but she couldn't today. Not when she knew where he'd been last night. 

They never really spoke of it but Ukitake-Taichou's death had hit him hard. Now, even ten years or so later, the pain was yet to lessen. She thought it was understandable and perfectly reasonable. You couldn't stop missing someone who'd been by your side for over a millennia in the matter of decades. So she tried to be softer on him when she could.

"Hmm," he murmured startled out of his own company.

"You're here early."

The shock in her voice made him give her a lazy impertinent smile. "Or I never left."

She shook her head in disapproval but said no more. Instead, she laid out the mail and some paperwork in front of him before settling down at her own desk to see what was on their agenda for the day.

Most of it were fund requests and what not from divisions for certain projects. There were some formal correspondence addressed to the 1st Division. Among it all was one envelope that caught his eye. For one, it was far too fancy to be just another Squad related missive. It was also addressed to him too casually - "Kyouraku Shunsui" written in an elegant feminine hand with no mention of his title or division in sight. He suspected it to be a hand delivered invitation of some sort so he opened it first.

The contents left his mouth opened in awe.

Dear Shunsui-kun,

Even if I lived a million lives, and felt a million things, I still would've fallen a million times for you.

I wish I could forget the distance that lies between us and truly tell you what's in my heart but...

You are you and I am me, and I don't know how it all could ever be.

So let me leave my love for you confined to these words and hope some day this distance won't matter.

That love alone would be enough.

Until then,

With much love,

Your secret admirer.

Nanao glanced up at him. Noticing his strange expression, she almost laughed but her professionalism made her bite it back. "What is it?" she asked calmly.

Startled, he held the paper he was reading to his chest, as if trying to hide its contents. "Nothing!" he told her.

Nanao narrowed her eyes at him, knowing very well that it was not in fact nothing. But she didn't push further. He seemed excited for some reason, and despite her curiosity, she was reluctant to burst that bubble. She hadn't seen her Taichou excited - genuinely truly excited - for anything in so long. Not since the Quincy war. He'd lost so much in one single war - his eye, his father figure, his best friend, and his freedom to name just a few. It was a rarity to see him with that mischievous glint in his eye so she let it go.

He stuffed the missive inside the inner pocket of his haori that was usually reserved for sneaking in sake to unacceptable places. "So, how do you want to torture me today, Nanao-chan?" he asked.

She took a pile of forms and dumped them on his desk. "Sign these, Taichou, and I might let you out for lunch."

"Lunch?" He glanced at the pile in front of him in mock-despair. "It's barely 8 in the morning! You are mean, Nanao-chan," he whined.

She ignored him mostly, and concentrated on her own work while he whined on and off. They were used to this dynamic. It felt familiar in a world full of responsibilities and burdens.

As Shunsui mindlessly lazed over the paperwork, his thoughts kept drifting to the letter he had received. Even though he'd only read it once, he could remember it word to word. And he kept wondering who it could be - this secret admirer. 

The letter smelled of lemon and books. The script elegant and neat. Definitely a woman. He was certain of it. But as much as he thought of it, he couldn't come to a clear conclusion who it could be.

---

The next one came a few days later - almost a week had gone by. It was left on the window sill he usually napped on when he could and was the first thing he saw the moment he arrived back from lunch seeking his favorite nap spot to take in some afternoon sun. 

Nanao was scribbling away at something at her own desk, oblivious to his shock and dilemma. He quickly walked up to it and opened it as quickly as he could without tearing it in the haste.

This time, the contents actually made him gasp.

Nanao looked at him with a strange expression on her face, so he quickly schooled his expression to one of normalcy. 

"Taichou?" she inquired.

"Who was in the office after I went to lunch?"

She found his question strange but answered nonetheless. "I was here for a bit, waiting on some paperwork from the 13th. Then I went out to get lunch myself. I got back just a few minutes before you did, actually."

"Was this here when you left?" He held up the letter, now carefully folded once more.

"Uh. I'm not sure. I suppose I didn't notice it. Why? What is it?" she asked.

"Oh nothing. Just wondering...don't mind me," he said, dismissing it casually. Too casually. "I'm going for a walk."

"Taichou, you just got back."

"Well, I'm going again. See you in a bit, Nanao-chan!" he said cheerily, sauntering out before she could stop him.

Once at the tree under which he usually sought his solitude, he settled down and re-read the letter.

Dear Shunsui,

Sometimes, I wish I was the sun, so I may linger upon your skin. 

I wish I was the sake you sip, so I may kiss upon your lips, with none the wiser to our love. 

To let my body drown in yours under the moonlight, to love you endlessly in anyway you'd let me.

I yearn for you. You could never know just how much I wish you were truly mine, nor how much I wish I was forever yours.

Love,

Your secret admirer.

Unlike the one before, this was more serious and sensual. His secret admirer was attempting to seduce him with her words. 

It was working, he realized, as his mind instantly went to thinking of slow lovemaking under the moonlit sky on a crisp summer night. Perhaps under this very tree, away from prying eyes. The thought had him adjusting his hakama unconsciously as his body responded.

Who was she? he asked himself, uselessly. And he vowed to himself that he would find her out. But in the meantime, he decided to enjoy being romanced and seduced by an ardent admirer.

After all, it wasn’t every day that Soutaicho got sensual love letters...

---

Part 2

Get added to the Tag List here.

[liscttc]

“I’ve always loved the female form. There’s something about it that just begs me to grab a pencil and draw for it. Men’s Fashion was so foreign to me. But I’m really happy about this collection” 

- Lisette about the new Men’s line in her fashion label, pâquerette 

20.06.2021

Like this post to plot pls✌️

&&. is that ( danielle galligan )?? no, it’s just ( lisette margarite d’orleans ). she is the ( princess ) of ( france ). she is ( 31 ) years old and her birthday is the ( 21th ) of ( november ) which makes her a ( scorpio ).  she is ( charming & affable ) and ( decadent & loyal ) but, unfortunately, also ( self-righteous & cynical ). those traits just make her a ( hufflepuff ) and in scientific terms an ( esfj-t ). she is a ( closeted lesbian ) and the plaza’s ( phoenix ).  her theme song is ( south ) by ( sleeping at last ). her interests include ( fashion & photography ). she is a ( roman catholic ) and a supporter of ( alliance royale ). her quirk is ( she bites her knuckles while she’s thinking ) and favourite quote is ( “prouver que j’ai raison serait accorder que je puis avoir tort.” ) which translated means ( “proving that I am right would be admitting that I could be wrong.” ) by ( pierre de beaumarchais ) because ( it’s the #frenchway ). last but not least she ( doesn’t ) believe in true love.

BASICS:

François younger sister

Arnauld’s, Giselle‘s & Henri’s Cousin

Mimi’s cousin

Stella’s ex girlfriend (Rip)

TLDR: Spanish Lis and French Lis combined to create a Lis who doesn’t give 2 shits about politics. She also owns a fashion brand. She’s here cause Stella is fuNDING THE WAR. 

BIO:

Lisette D’Orleans was a horrible little girl. With a name that gave her most things in life and a seizable bank account that could buy all else. Because of this there was very little to bind her to normal life and it became too easy to ignore the suffering of those around her. She was nice, and well behaved, with a perfect smile always on her lips and a decent enough attitude, but cold and unconcerned with things that didn’t impact her specifically. It wasn’t so much that there hadn’t been attempts to get the young princess interested in the more political or humanitarian side of her title. But ever since she could understand them she found ways to excuse herself from those ‘awful conversations’. 

Instead she developed a taste for wine, music and good company. Her appearance at parties from a young age was renowned. But she wasn’t a wild teenager, not for the world to see at least. Seeing the princess drunk or in any way disheveled was a rare sight, even unflattering photos of her in general were virtually nonexistent. Anything that involved her image was carefully planned, controlled, like a painter with a brush showing only what she wishes you to see. 

The daughter of Prince Fabrice, the younger brother of the King of France, afforded her moderate media attention from a young age, especially in France. However her distance from the throne afforded her much more freedom than her cousins, and even her older brother François. Having dipped her toes for the first time in the fashion world at age 14, with a collaborative children's collection with the Spanish brand Massimo Dutti, the young princesses interest in the area only increased, leading to more collaborations with other brands over her teenage years.

Her move to fashion was one of genuine interest and passion, for colors and patterns and all things that could bring out the most hidden parts of people. But the more she delved into it the more it became another project, something to excel at and make perfect. Getting her own brand wasn’t hard, not even close to hard enough to even mention in her opinion. She had top designers' phone numbers since her teenage years. But she still wanted to work at it. Make it perfect and unquestionably hers. Any personal relationships that suffered from coming second to her job were simply not necessary. 

In 2010 she graduated with a undergraduate degree in Economics from université psl, enrolling in the Institut européen d'administration des affaires for a business masters. At the same time she restarted her collaborations from her youth, having a very popular collection with Channel in Spring 2011.

She officially launched pâquerette with a woman’s autumn/winter collection in 2012 achieving medium commercial success. Over the years the brand has grown, now counting with stores in most european capitals, as well as recurrent appearances at fashion week. The first expansion to the brand came with the collaboration with Laurence Dacade in 2015 in a shoe collection to match both their spring/summer and autumn/winter collections. This was repeated again last year. In 2018 it launched it’s very first children’s collection and now, it’s expanding once more to Men’s Wear.

All this professional success didn’t come cheap. Publicly she’s known as someone with no time for relationships, her record of past flings in the public eye so sparse some have ventured to call her coldhearted. Not that this is much different in private, Lisette’s relationships are few and far between, but she often enjoys company of the female variety.  The news of her first girlfriend then came as quite a shock for all those who were made aware of it. In true Lisette fashion she simply brought her to one of the various family only events. It wasn’t so much that she was trying to be intentionally disagreeable but her goal set mind found it the most simple and productive way of making everyone aware. The secret is kept to the family and a few close friends mostly because most of her life is kept off public view.

[remedialpotions]

I’m Not Wearing That

This one goes out to @trademarkblue who sent in this prompt about ninety years ago - I hope you enjoy it! I've had the idea of Ron doing this in my head for MONTHS and finally wrote it out. 💕

***

The problem with having exactly four Sickles to his name was that Ron always felt that he fell short whenever his friends' birthdays would come along. Usually Harry's was okay, because during the summer he could send an owl laden down with his mum's finest baked goods to compensate for whatever it was the Dursleys made him subsist on, but Hermione was a different story. September was always a tough month for his family, thanks to the mass expenditure on school supplies, so he felt guilty asking for anything more from them. Besides, the time he had splashed out on a gift for her (borrowing the funds from Fred and George in exchange for deep-cleaning their room, which had been a harrowing experience), she'd simply called the perfume unusual and he didn't think she'd ever worn it, so it had been a bit of a bust.

There were always the old Hermione stand-bys: books, fancy quills, unspillable ink, but those things all felt dreadfully generic to him. They were the sort of thing someone who only knew the bare minimum about Hermione would get her, and he knew she deserved more than that. The only problem was that four Sickles was barely enough to purchase a tin of fudge from Honeyduke's, much less anything that Hermione might actually want...

So what did she actually want? She wasn't the sort to get caught up in material items; he had never seen her wear jewelry or lose her head over new clothes the way some of the girls in their year did. Even if he could come up with an idea for some sort of Muggle contraption that she would like, it was the eighteenth of September already. He had been wracking his brains for weeks now and had come up empty time and time again, because Hermione just wasn't the sort of person who wanted stuff. She wanted Voldemort dead and gone, she wanted Ron and Harry to actually buckle down and do their homework, she wanted freedom for all house elves-

Ron sat up straight in his bed, a smile stretching wide over his face (it was just lucky that Harry and the others were already asleep). In one fleeting moment of brilliance, he knew exactly how to make Hermione's seventeenth birthday special.

In the morning, he woke before everyone else and began searching through the detritus in his trunk. It had to be here somewhere, he never would have thrown it away, but he had accumulated an astonishing amount of Chocolate Frog wrappers and scrap bits of parchment over the years, so it took some digging before he found it buried underneath a package of Owl Treats. Carefully, like it might break, Ron cradled the thing in his hands. It was a little dusty, a little dingy - he hadn't touched it in two years - but it would certainly suffice.

He was the first person in the common room that morning, anxiously watching the girls' staircase for a sign of her. Usually she was already waiting for him and Harry in the mornings so they could all go to breakfast today, but today he wanted to be the one waiting for her. Just after seven, she descended the stairs, her rucksack nearly bursting with textbooks, and paused on the bottom step when she saw him.

"Happy birthday," he said brightly, standing up from the armchair by the fire. He almost reached his arms out to hug her - that was the sort of thing friends did, wasn't it, give each other birthday hugs? - but held himself back.

"Thanks," she smiled. "Wow, you're never up this early, why are you-" She cut herself off, eyes narrowing. "What are you wearing?"

"What?" he asked, playing innocent.

"This." She jabbed a finger into the badge on his chest.

"Oh, that?" He shrugged, using every ounce of willpower he possessed to keep from smiling. "I'm just supporting the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare."

Her expression drifted from shock to confusion to amusement. "I didn't think that you even kept that-"

"Of course I kept it," said Ron. "You'd've hexed me if I didn't, but anyway, it's important to you, so, yeah, I kept it."

"And whatever happened to Mr. I'm-Not-Wearing-That?" she asked, echoing words from their fourth year.

He had been so pigheaded back then, so hellbent on telling her that she was wrong, that she was barking mad for messing with the elves - and he still thought it was a little bit mental at times - but he'd been in denial about a lot of Hermione-related things that year. Things he'd slowly come to terms with over the past two years, things that weren't about house elves at all but about the fact that he couldn't stop thinking about her, that when she kissed him on the cheek last year he had felt it on his skin for weeks, that all he wanted was to be closer to her, always closer. He just wasn't the same stubborn fourteen-year-old anymore.

"Like I said, it's important to you." He gestured back to the badge. "So, happy birthday. I wanted to get you something better, but - well - this is all I could really afford-"

As his face blushed red, she stood on her toes and hugged him, and his throat went dry. Out of instinct he looped his arms around her waist, holding her torso to his and wishing he could freeze time because he'd done it, he had actually made her happy and it hadn't taken stacks of Galleons to do it. All of those things that he never let himself wish for, maybe they weren't as out of reach as he thought.

"It's perfect," she said, releasing him as Ron reluctantly took his hands back from her waist. "Ooh!" Her eyes lit up, face shining. "Since you're up so early, maybe we have time to teach you how to knit - we could start making hats again, those are the easiest..."

On the outside, Ron groaned (he hadn't quite bargained for this), but internally, he knew he'd do whatever she asked.

***

you can find more four word prompts here!

[panclownrights]

Get To Know The Blogger (Repost)

1. If you didn't have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

Binge watch my current favorite shows and movies. (Currently: Parenthood, Skam, and 13 Reasons Why

2. What is your favorite piece of clothing you own / owned?

Leggings because they’re comfortable as fuck. 

3. What hobby would you pick up if time & money weren't an issue?

Yoga seems fun and I try to be a chilled person. 

4. What does your perfect room look like?

A rustic/vintage style room with a bunch of old cameras and maps and books but then also plants and fairy lights.

5. How often do you play sports?

If I played sports often I would not be on here. 

6. What fictional place would you like to visit?

I want to visit Idris (Shadowhunters).

7. What job would you be terrible at?

I’m terrible at any job that you have to do under pressure (most jobs) so I would be a really bad waitress. 

8. When was the last time you climbed a tree?

I have never climbed a tree. 

9. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance of winning a medal for?

Being able to find out certain information on anyone about anything.

10. What is the most annoying habit that you or other people have?

I am ALWAYS late. I can never be on time for anything. 

11. What job do you think you'd be really good at?

I think I would be good as a retail person or a makeup artist. 

12. What skill would you like to master?

Drumming, guitar, piano, singing, and reading fast. 

13. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?

A road trip across the US with my friends.

14. If you had unlimited funds to build a house to live on for the rest of your life, what would the finished house look like?

An apartment type place that is an industrial building with old brick and a spiral staircase with a bunch of rustic accessories, located in a city. 

15. What's your favorite drink?

Hot chocolate.

16. What state or country do you never want to go back to?

I have never been there but I never want to go to Idaho.. I don’t know why??

17. What songs do you have completely memorized?

Anything Troye Sivan, 5sos, most One Direction. A bunch of songs.

18. What game or movie universe would you like to live in?

Twilight in Forks, Washington. 

19. What do you consider to be your best find?

Um... I dont know?

20. Are you usually early or late?

Late forever and always.

21. What pets did you have when you were growing up?

Two cats, two hamsters, a bunch of fish, hermit crabs, and a dog. 

22. When people come to you for help, what do they usually need help with?

Mainly any type of advice. Boys usually with girls and girls usually with rumors and gossip. 

23. What takes up too much of your time?

My phone, specifically a website called Quotev. 

24. What do you wish you knew more about?

I wish I knew more about psychology. 

25. What would be your first question after waking up from being frozen for 100 years?

Who the fuck froze me?

26. What are some small things that make your day better?

When an idol of mine posts a new picture or video. Or when a new clip or episode of one of my favorite shows comes out. 

27. Who's your go-to band or artist when you don't know who or what to listen to?

5 Seconds of Summer. 

28. What's the best way to start the day?

Waking up around 9 am, showering, and having a fruit with coffee. 

29. What TV shows do you like?

Skam, Shameless, American Horror Story, Shadowhunters, Scream Queens, 13 Reasons Why, Modern Family, The Fosters, Riverdale, and Parenthood. 

30. What TV channel doesn't exist but really should?

LGBTQ+ channel.

31. Who has impressed you most with what they've accomplished?

Any actors that started at a later age (19-23) and are on successful, popular shows or movies now. 

32. What age do you wish you could stay at permanently?

22 seems pretty great. 

33. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?

I refuse to watch most horror movies. 

34. What's your ideal way to spend a weekend?

A successful binge weekend of movies and tv. 

35. What is something that is considered a luxury, but you don't think you could live without?

My iphone. 

36. What is your claim to fame?

I don’t know, acting??

37. What is something you enjoy doing the old-fashioned way?

I enjoy writing letters and reading physical books. 

38. What's your favorite book or movie genre?

Fantasy or realistic - fiction. 

39. How often do you people-watch?

Basically everyday. 

40. What have you only recently formed an opinion about?

On how teenagers in high school need to be kinder towards each other and watch what they say and do that could be hurtful to someone else. 

41. What's the best day of the year?

Halloween.

42. What subject interests you that not many people have heard of?

I’m pretty sure most people have heard of psychology and astronomy. 

43. How do you relax after a long day of work?

Laying in bed and watching Netflix. 

44. What's the best book series or TV series you've ever read or watched?

I have been watching Shadowhunters ever since it aired then watched the movie and now am currently reading the books. 

45. Where is the farthest you've ever been from home?

I went from Florida to Boston without my family one summer. 

46. What's the most heartwarming thing you've ever seen?

I have seen many heartwarming things. 

47. What is the most annoying question people ask you?

Where do you want to go to college? 

48. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with no preparation?

Either Shadowhunters or Evan Peters. 

49. If you were the dictator on a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do?

Make them all have some form of sparkly accessory and have any of my favorite shows air on each person’s televisions whenever they are on. 

50. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

They should take a trip alone. 

51. Would you rather go hand gliding or whitewater rafting?

Whitewater rafting. 

52. What's your dream car?

A purple jeep or a Volkswagen van. 

53. What's worth spending more on to get the best?

Foundation always. 

54. What is something a ton of people are obsessed with, but you just don't get?

Actually most trends like the thing on the back of people’s phones or the unicorn frap I do not understand. 

55. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years?

Being able to travel. 

56. Where is the most interesting place you've been?

Disney World. 

57. What's something you've been meaning to try but haven't gotten around to it?

Playing the drums and yoga. 

58. What is the best thing that happened to you last week?

I went on vacation.

59. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind, only to experience it for the first time again?

The Malec kiss scene in season 1 episode 12 on Shadowhunters. 

60. If all jobs had the same pay rate and hours, what job would you want to have?

A retail job at Barnes & Noble. 

61. What amazing thing have you done that no one was around to see?

Ace a Biology tests since I suck at science. 

62. How different was your life 1 year ago?

I lived in a different state, went to public school, and had friends. 

63. What quirks do you have?

I rant about my current obsessions, I do not know how to make eye contact, and I dodge away from conversations. 

64. What would you rate 10/10?

My gay ships. 

65. What fad or trend do you think should come back?

I thought the Rainbow Loom was awesome. 

66. What is the most interesting piece of art you've seen?

Shirtless guys.

67. What kind of art do you enjoy most?

I enjoy face paint.

68. What do you hope never changes?

Our freedom of speech. 

69. What city would you most like to live in?

Boston or New York City. 

70. What movie title best describes your life?

The Art of Getting By. (The movie is basically me)

71. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now?

I am not doing any work. 

72. What's the best way a person can spend their time?

Doing what they are most passionate about and feeling care free about it. 

73. If you suddenly became a master at woodworking, what would you make?

I would make furniture that looked like it was from a fairy tale world

74. Where is the most relaxing place you've ever been?

In a spa.

75. What's the luckiest thing that has ever happened to you?

I won a cute and expensive bag without realizing that’s what I signed up for.

76. Where would you rather be from?

I am from New York and I like being from there.

77. What are some things you've had to unlearn?

I did not have to, but every summer I forget everything I learned that year in math.

78. What do you look forward to in the next 6 months?

I am going on vacation with my cousins. 

79. What website do you visit most often?

Quotev or Instagram.

80. What one thing do you really want but can't afford?

High quality makeup. 

81. Where do you usually go when you have free time?

I go to my bedroom.

82. Where would you spend all your time if you could?

My bedroom. 

83. What's special about the place you grew up?

I have never grown up in one place. I move every 4 years. 

84. What age do you want to live to?

95 seems like a good age.

85. What are you most likely to become famous for?

Makeup or acting. 

86. What are you absolutely determined to do?

To live my life to the fullest and not have regrets on things I did not do. 

87. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?

How to draw a skull on my face using just eye shadow. 

88. What do you wish you knew more about?

I answered this question earlier on. 

89. What question would you most like to know the answer to?

What is my future going to be?

90. What question can you ask to find out the most about a person?

What are your passions?

91. When was the last time you changed your opinion or belief about something major?

I stopped believing in my religion and the political opinions my family has. 

92. What's the best compliment you've ever received?

You are really interesting to talk to. 

93. As the only human left on earth, what would you do?

Scream as loud as possible. 

94. Who inspires you to be better?

My idols (there are a lot).

95. What do you want your epitaph to be?

She lived a long, full life doing what she loved. 

96. What haven't you grown out of?

Hugging my mom in public. 

97. In what situation or place would you feel most out of place in?

A high school.

98. What's the dumbest thing you've done that actually turned out pretty well?

Throw a party. 

99. If someone wrote a book on an event in your life, what would the book be about?

Nothing at all. I am not interesting. 

100. What's something you will never do again?

Throw a party. 

101. How do you hope you'll change as a person in the future?

I hope to be more confident, daring, and adventurous. 

102. What keeps you up at night?

Things I keep putting off or events that happen the next day. 

103. What's the most surprising self-realization you've had?

That I was a negative person and needed to change for the better. 

104. What is the most illegal thing you've ever done?

Drink underage. Risky, I know. 

105. How do you get in the way of your own success?

I am a big procrastinator. 

106. What are you afraid people see when they look at you?

My body.

107. What is your biggest regret?

Not applying myself more (I’m still working on that).

108. What do you look down on people for?

The way they behave and treat others. 

109. What bridges do you not regret burning?

Toxic or one sided relationships. 

110. What lie do you tell most often?

I’m almost ready.  

111. What would be your spirit animal?

A hedgehog. 

112. What is the best & worst thing about getting older?

Living on your own.

113. What are you most likely very wrong about?

A lot of things. 

114. If you had a personal flag, what would be on it?

A rainbow and glitter.

115. What's happened that changed your view on the world?

How negative or hurtful people can be.

116. What is the biggest lesson you've learned?

That there is no point in being negative about a situation because it will not do anything to fix it. 

117. What is the most immature thing you do?

Wear hair bows.

118. What are you famous for among your friends & family?

Being the outcast. 

119. If your childhood had a smell, what would it be?

The pool. 

120. What one responsibility do you wish you didn't have?

Making money to live even if it is something you do not enjoy. 

121. What are 3 things you want to accomplish before you die?

Travel to all the places I want to visit, being successful in some sort of way, and helping to make a difference somewhere. 

122. What do you want to tell your 10-year-old self?

So far, 10 was back when things were simple so stay there till further notice. 

123. What's the best thing you got from your parents?

Their attitude on doing what makes you happy. 

124. What's the best thing about you?

I am passionate about many things and have big dreams. 

125. What blows your mind?

How people think it is cool to not care about things. 

126. Have you ever saved someone's life?

No. 

127. What are you really good at but embarrassed to be good at?

How easy I can find out information about people. 

128. What would a mirror opposite of you look like?

Black hair, dark skin, brown eyes, tall, skinny. 

129. What are 3 interesting facts about you?

I watch about 5 movies a week, I am homeschooled, I have been to Disney 25 times. 

130. Which of your scars has the best story behind it?

None of my scars have interesting stories. 

131. What's the title of the current chapter in your life?

A work in progress. 

132. What were some of the biggest turning points in your life?

When I went from public school to high school. 

133. What's the hardest lesson you've learned?

It is hard to find genuine people who care about you when you’re young. 

134. What do people think is weird about you?

My obsession with sparkles. 

135. What mistake do you keep making?

Trusting people. 

136. What have you created that you're most proud of?

I rewrote an alternate version of the ending to The Fault In Our Stars. 

137. What do you doubt?

I have a bad habit of doubting my ability to be confident and social. 

138. What are some of your morals?

Be kind, always. Do what you love. Have goals and make dreams. If you try hard enough and work your ass off, you will succeed. You are not getting anywhere with a negative attitude. 

139. What do you want to be remembered for?

Making a difference in somebody’s life. 

140. What do you regret not doing in your childhood years?

Having more of an opinion about things and standing up for myself. 

141. What is your favorite fragrance?

The A&F store. 

142. What do you think your last words will be?

I love you. 

143. Who or what do you take for granted?

The amount of free time I have. 

144. Why would you be annoying as a roommate?

I stay up super late with the lights on and take very long showers. 

145. What is something you're insecure about?

My body. 

146. What's the best & worst piece of advice you've received?

Do what you love is the best. Get a high paying job to make money is the worst. 

147. What irrational fears do you have?

Not knowing what my future is. 

148. What makes a good life?

Living the exact way you want to live with little regrets. 

149. What's the last adventure you went on?

I don’t even know. 

150. What is the most memorable gift you've received?

A ring my aunt gave me that was made from one of her mother’s stones she had on her old jewelry. 

[callanpurcell-blog]

work in progress post/person

A LOT CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR

From June last year... “Hey Olivia, I just wanted to send you a massive message of encouragement and respect for the things you're doing for yourself. I'm in the midst of where you were a little while ago; trying to find funding ($40,000) for my college tuition. Ive finished my first year of studies and have two more to come. It sucks so much that there are people like us who live and breathe this art, and want to make ourselves better people and this world a better place through theatre, but money gets in the way of achieving those goals. It's clear though that you're unstoppable, and your path is one less trodden, going to workshops and intensives etc. Obviously there's more than one way to smash out a life in the theatre, and it's of great importance to remind people that acting school isn't necessarily the only way, and it's not the end of the world if it doesn't work out that way. Best wishes heading your way! Callan”

Saying bye to mum and dad was hard. A hug or four and before it hit me, I was beside a gentleman from Amsterdam who believed this generation can’t live without social media. We spoke a while and laughed a lot; swimming through topics of Australian foods, occupations, the red light district, the time he was deemed a pedophile when he took a photo of a man in a reindeer costume although the mother thought he was taking a photo of her child, the time I went to Uluru and found an overwhelming sense of belonging when the sun woke up behind it, Brexit, where the young people were during the vote for Brexit, the confusion of the air hostess when I asked for pepper but she came back with pepsi, the hilarity of Ad, the Amsterdam gentleman reclining his chair- causing the knees of the sleeping woman behind to wrap around her ears as her feet were on her fold out table, and the marvel of the amount of languages Ad could speak. I just flicked back to facebook and read that being grateful, or speaking of things that you’re grateful about is one of the most effective ways to combat heavier times. I’ll write my happenings very quickly from my first day, just for the archives, but then I’ll dive into the delicious selection of things that make me smile or have made me smile this last month. -Flying over London: that’s a big cloud -Flying into London: still, in a big cloud -Getting out in London: still in the big cloud -Tube strikes--travelled from terminal 3 to 1, 1 to Picadilly line, Picadilly line to Hammersmith, Hammersmith to Monument, Monument to City Thames Link, City Tames Link to West Hampstead, West Hampstead to Kilburn, Kilburn to St John’s Wood, walked from St John’s Wood to Belsize Park. -Inbetween: Damp ground, damp clothes, drizzle. -People pushing and stabbing with the umbrellas and huffing and cursing and yeah, a lot of pushing in- what the fuck?

Ok, that done and dusted. I just can’t let it harden my heart. I’ll learn to find the sunshine inside me.

I stand by the fact that it’s vital to ride through negative emotions just like the positive ones. If I push them down or go all zen and try and ride above them, I won’t a) ever let them out so they’ll just fester like the 16 capsicums I found in the fridge last year at my old sharehouse and b) i wouldn’t have the experience of negotiating myself and my ability through them to get to the other side. I thought that’s what I was training to do, again and again, night after night. Australia was easy for me. Every day is like a day at the baths. Glorious, yes, but easy. Keep it coming, London. But maybe give me a break on Sundays. Sundays are day of rest, remember?

AUSTRALIA.

A. warm welcome from the sun where I fell asleep at the baths and woke up with really serious sunburn. It was a familiar feeling- not being able to lay on your back for longer than 2 minutes, and applying Aloe Vera every other 2.

B.elvoir St seeing Girl Asleep; a play I’ve been wanting to see for about 5 years now. I also left a letter for a hero of mine, Matthew Whittet, asking him if I could work with him.

C.

D.ear Evan Hansen screaming out of the speakers while salty summer air flooded in from the windows. Tyran, how I missed you, brother.

E.pic

F.ish and chips from Stockton. The scollops were practically just batter. I also bought a BBQ chicken. We got out of the 39 degree heat, chucked the air conditioner on and dug into the best Australian meal: chicken and chips with chicken salt.

G.lenrock Lagoon reminded me of what it was like to see with senses other than the eyes. The journey from the carpark to Merewether Baths and back was glorious and worth every step. I’d made a ham and pickle sandwich to eat halfway.

H.earing wild dingoes in Central Australia as I laid in my swag looking up at the stars. Ok, well staring at the stars; making sure I didn’t draw attention to myself as they were drinking water about 5 metres away from me. I didn’t want mum to be the next one in line to say “A dingo ate my baby!” because, let’s face it, I’ll always be her baby.

I.nitiating the walk up Heart attack Hill. The first part to the path across King’s Canyon. Looking up it, you saw people in the distance, like ants. I’ve only had that feeling once before...when I was looking at California Scream in Disneyland.

J.ust spending time with family. Enough said. Especially with Harper though. Her look so intent. She’s a very good listener..and very cheeky. Seeing Uncle Gerry and Aunty Deb too were highlights

K.eeping true to the impulse of the letter. Another letter. A spontaneous yet respectful letter to a girl who had the most gorgeous smile at the baths. I guess that’s the only downside to not having a mobile. But I wrote my name and drew a wave, so we talked still.

L.ying with mum in bed like I was 10 again.

M.ilkshakes with dad at Warners Bay, and him letting ME pay for them...

N.ew years the way I like it. Quite, and symbolic. Spending the first few seconds underwater and being ‘rebirthed’ by gasping for air when I came to the surface. I love symbolic stuff like that. 

O.ld friends and family popping up out of nowhere.

P.opcorn and jersey caramels at the old lake cinema. This was the first time in a long time I didn’t care about rustling wrappers or sniffing or fidgeting, because it was just fun. It was another reminder that actually I AM able to just go watch a film or play and enjoy it because it’s an activity I get to do with the people I love. Rustle away!

Q.uiet conversations on verandahs with friends and really good chicken salad and fruit and new dogs and forgotten gifts.

R.olling around in Maitland with drama kids. Doing workshops back with Annie’s kids from Upstage reminded me that theatre is for everyone, and so is acting. You do lose perspective being at drama school, and think that it’s all a perfect little bubble...but in reality, some of the best comedy or drama I’ve seen play out is from a 4 year old trying to do his laces.

S.unrise at Uluru. Sitting in the red dirt, seeing exactly when the core of the sun rose from the earth with the rays around it.

T.he Universe had some gems up her sleeve. Tarni Kate Beau Renee Erin Daniel Hayley Dom Max Peter Kathryn Bridget

U.nderestimating the beauty of 106.1 classic FM. It gives a nice, lyrical quality to a Newcastle summer.

V.isiting Newcastle Art Gallery and the Newcastle Museum

W.hen Yong, a South Korean kindergarten teacher told me that when she first met me on the Uluru trip, she thought I’d be a “naughty boy”. I was both aroused and confused, but I think she meant ‘bad boy’ because my cap was on back to front at the start. I said I loved my mum and dad though, so there’s no way I was. 

X.tra special memory:

Y.oga and finding freedom in active meditation. Thanks Bridget xx

Z.inc and sunscreen. The smell will always take me back to summer. The colours will always take me back to the 80s.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10:54 Newcastle Baths 31.12.2016

‘Be the Sunshine Kid the World Needs.’

new music - INSTEAD OF - the ‘go to’ genres new books - INSTEAD OF - the kids books more veggies - INSTEAD OF - just chocolate more water - INSTEAD OF - pepsi swimming - INSTEAD OF - sleeping in yoga - INSTEAD OF - ‘just nothing’ active meditation - INSTEAD OF - ‘just stillness’ kisses and cuddles - INSTEAD OF - playing cool romance - INSTEAD OF - reality checks listening - INSTEAD OF - waiting to speak water - INSTEAD OF - bed risks - INSTEAD OF - regrets honesty - INSTEAD OF - political correctness focus - INSTEAD OF - indecisive heroes - INSTEAD OF - enemies anticipation - INSTEAD OF - anxiety healthy challenges - INSTEAD OF - obstacles encouraging - INSTEAD OF - forcing understanding - INSTEAD OF - replying commitment - INSTEAD OF - pussy-footing boiling hot - INSTEAD OF - luke warm passion - INSTEAD OF - playing it cool naked - INSTEAD OF - out of touch drawing - INSTEAD OF - nothing at all checking in - INSTEAD OF - checking out seeking knowledge - INSTEAD OF - desiring it doing - INSTEAD OF - saying invincible - INSTEAD OF - invisible warrior - INSTEAD OF - worrier star-gazing - INSTEAD OF - stone-kicking people person - INSTEAD OF - hermit singing - INSTEAD OF - silence just because - INSTEAD OF - this is the meaning of life discoveries - INSTEAD OF - decisions howling at the moon - INSTEAD OF - howling in your room honesty - INSTEAD OF - “INTERESTING...” questions - INSTEAD OF - answers using weight - INSTEAD OF - pushing against surrendering - INSTEAD OF - locking clarity and cleansing - INSTEAD OF - chaos change - INSTEAD OF - talking about change touching - INSTEAD OF - seeing sensing - INSTEAD OF - analysing planning - INSTEAD OF - procrastinating your journey - INSTEAD OF - theirs your drum - INSTEAD OF - theirs your love - INSTEAD OF - theirs saving - INSTEAD OF - spending BREATH. JUST MORE BREATH. AND MORE IMAGINATION AND COLOUR. London is my bitch - INSTEAD OF - I am London’s bitch sharing - INSTEAD OF - shame cleansing - INSTEAD OF - clutter negotiation - INSTEAD OF - right way / wrong way soul - INSTEAD OF - sight MORE SOLAR PLEXUS experimentation - INSTEAD OF - expectation making time - INSTEAD OF - finding time sweaty body - INSTEAD OF - not...sweaty intuition - INSTEAD OF - institution conversation - INSTEAD OF - confrontation beautiful thoughts - INSTEAD OF - bashing ones

[parisstreet]

Some Words On ‘15th Street - Part Two’

The memory is likely wrong, but it’s the image conjured when I think about this: 

I am driving on Hillsborough Avenue in Tampa, either heading to or coming back from my sister’s house, when the vocal melody pops up in my head. I start singing it aloud, then the words start to form. Back home, using my keyboard’s ‘techno’ preset and putting the BPMs as high as they can go, I work out the song’s arrangement, come up with some more words, develop the bridge, and finish things up. I then record it live by placing a microphone near one of the keyboard’s speakers. The microphone is connected to a minidisc player.

It’s likely the year 2000. The song is called ‘Bastard’s Song’. It’s not much - some sub-Stephin Merritt lyrics, some sub-Stephin Merritt singing, a keyboard preset playing basic chords (C, F, and G). But it’s something. And it’s relatively catchy. 

I decide to work on more songs. The words don’t come, though, at least not any that are worth singing. However, I keep making a bunch of instrumentals using the keyboard, its rudimentary tracking system, the microphone, and the minidisc player.

One night in Tampa, probably early 2001, I break down. About 8 hours later, I’m in Athens, Georgia. I get a room at a Scottish Inn for two days and spend it trying to calm down. At one point while there, I write a song called ‘Like An Animal Crushed Under The Weight Of A Moving Car’. It’s alright - like some sort of emo samba. Only one other person has heard it, and it’s probably going to stay that way.

By this point, I’ve had a guitar near me for close to six years, since taking my sister’s acoustic with me to college. I had recorded some hokum with it over the years using a microphone connected to one of those dual-cassette-player stereos that allows me to record new tracks over old ones until those old tracks turn into muffled nothingness. That whole time, I don’t tune the guitar once - I don’t know how. It’s possible some folks tried during some college-era get-together where the allure of a guitar in a corner spurs some asshole to be an asshole and grab the guitar and tune it before hijacking the get-together like an asshole with some assholish Sublime cover. I don’t remember anyone trying, though, so the thing was its own vaguely-tonal beast for many years.

But songs start to take shape. And they don’t seem meant for a keyboard. So I guess I gotta figure out how to tune a guitar. And I guess I gotta learn to actually play the thing.

One night, probably early 2002, I play some songs on my front porch for a friend of mine. He seems to dig ‘em. I play one or two for another friend - she says nice things. It’s enough.

More songs come. One summer weekend, I fly to Denver, meet up with a friend, pick up a bottle of wine and her guitar, and play songs together by a mountain lake until it’s too cold to keep playing. I come back to Tampa, and I think about that friend, and the songs pour out. I am smitten, my heart’s a-flutter, and I almost-immediately sleep with someone else, which makes me feel a bit like shit, but it does create that swirl of debauchery and doubt that becomes my lyrical sweetspot. For better or worse, this is how I find my voice. Even more songs pour out.

With some technical assistance from my then-brother-in-law, I go into a music store and buy a new acoustic guitar, a digital 8-track, some mics, and one of those pickup thingies that you fit into the hole of an acoustic guitar so you can plug it into the 8-track or an amp. 

Still learning on the guitar, now I’ve gotta figure out the 8-track as well. I get to work. It is nearing autumn of 2002, not that the seasons really matter in Florida. Youthful hubris has me booking my first show for November (it wasn’t difficult - it was part of a 3-day festival that I was organizing with some friends). I want to have a CD to sell at the show.

I have nothing besides ‘Bastard’s Song’ and a couple other minidisc recordings that sound lousy. I want a 10-song CD. And it would be nice if it didn’t suck.

I get to work.

Here is some of that work.

15th Street - Part Two begins with ‘Bastard’s Song’ and continues along with songs recorded towards the end of 2002 and throughout 2003 (until November of that year, when I moved to Nashville). They were recorded at my duplex on Lambright Street in the Seminole Heights neighborhood of Tampa, and consist of acoustic guitar, a generic keyboard from Radio Shack (essentially a Casio stripped of the brand name), and a bit of stray percussion here and there. 

This does not contain all the demos from that time. Rather, my aim with this collection is to focus on previously-unheard songs (’Why Hearts Break’, ‘Doubting Yesterday’, ‘My Bukkake’) and songs whose versions are considerably different from the versions heard on prior releases (the rest). There are several other pretty-good demos from that time, but they didn’t really offer anything new. A couple other demos (’Folk Song 3′, ‘Folk Song 4′, ‘The Background Characters Of My Life’) ended up on the Curtains album. Even more demos are just not good enough for public consumption. One of them is called ‘The Children’s Symphony Of Fear’ - I wish it didn’t suck so much, because it’s a really fun song.

A word on quality: no individual stems exist for any of these songs, so no changes could be made. I’ve done my best to clean up the fidelity prior to mastering - reducing hiss and adjusting the peaks, for example - but that’s about it. There will be plosives, and inhales between lines, and lip smacks, and fretboard squeaks, and all the other stuff that humanizes a song and that I fervently try to eliminate from newer recordings. None of these songs were recorded with a click track, so some pauses (like in ‘Apologies To Sigrun’ and ‘Why Hearts Break’) last a little longer than others. At the end of ‘My Bukkake’, the guitar and keyboard seem determined to never hit the beat at the same time. Also, a dog starts barking around that point. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Enjoy.

15th Street - Part Two is available now via Bandcamp, Spotify, and all the other streaming services. All proceeds from Bandcamp sales of the album will go to the Ida B Wells Society. 15th Street - Part One is out there as well - Bandcamp proceeds from that album go to the LGBTQ Freedom Fund. Part Three will be released on 19 August. A sampler of songs from all seven parts of this project can be found on Bandcamp. 

Narcissistic ramblings about each song on this album will begin here on Monday.

Photos are from those Tampa days, taken by me (with one exception coming up in the next sentence). I don’t remember the name of the guy in the top pic (which was taken by my then-girlfriend), but he played a major role in the night that inspired the song ‘Duet’, which can be found on the Curtains album.

[thegloober]

How To Improve Yourself In 6 Months

You can’t. It’s really hard to change. I’ve been an addict. When you’re addicted to a drug you can’t just say, “Well, this is bad for me. I’m going to stop.”

Just give up now or be ready to go through a world of pain.

Or…

You can. But it’s really hard and few people do it.

You can’t say, “I’m out of shape and I don’t exercise so I’m going to start exercising every day now for an hour a day.”

I started exercising three times a week. Some weeks two. Some weeks one. I knew that if I overdid it, then I would simply lose interest.

In any case, I lost interest. I hated it .

I stopped even though I knew that stopping would hurt me and not help me.

It’s really hard to change.

But…

Here’s how you can improve in the next six months.

Remember this line: The way you do Anything is the way you do Everything.

Remember it.

I’ve had to improve at lots of things. Sometimes to survive and feed my family. Sometimes to stay healthy and LIVE. Sometimes because I simply wanted to.

Learning to improve at ONE thing gives you the ability to improve at everything.

I read the other day there are three aspects of “well-being”:

Connection with community or friends or family or partners

Freedom (every day you make more decisions for yourself instead of relying or being dependent on the decisions of others)

IMPROVEMENT

It doesn’t say “Improve yourself”. It just says “Improvement”.

Because if you improve at anything, you are improving yourself.

And the way you do anything is the way you do everything.

I’ve had to improve at investing, interviewing, writing, selling, negotiating, creativity, public speaking, leadership, programming — all just to survive.

I’ve had to improve at chess, comedy, poker, parenting, being a good husband/boyfriend, reading, friendship, charisma, authenticity — all because I wanted to.

I realized quickly that the “language” of getting good at one thing taught me the basic grammar to get good at everything.

The way you do anything is the way you do everything.

FIND ONE THING TO IMPROVE:

You can’t improve without passion and obsession.

After interviewing on my podcast 400 of the most successful people in recent history, there’s one thing I know: all of them were obsessed.

They were obsessed with their ONE THING.

But improving at their one thing meant they were improving at everything.

You can’t be great at golf without weight lifting.

You can’t be great at physics without having the charisma to get across your ideas.

You can’t be great at inventing the light bulb without knowing marketing.

HOW TO FIND YOUR ONE THING:

Some basics:

A) There will be many “one things” in your life. I’ve been obsessed with chess, computers, writing, TV, business, investing, speaking, podcasting, marketing, stand-up comedy, etc.

Each thing feeds the other.

B) Go to a bookstore: which section could you see yourself reading every single book?

C) List what you LOVED at the age of 13. How did it age?

For instance, Matthew Berry loved sports at age 13. He later was an unhappy Hollywood screenwriter. Miserable.

But he wasn’t going to be an athlete. He was too old. Not in the right shape for professional athleticism.

But he quit Hollywood. Got divorced. Went broke.

And for $100 a post he started writing blog posts about fantasy sports.

He improved every day.

And now he’s the ESPN anchor for fantasy sports. I can’t walk down the street with him without people going up to him constantly and thanking him.

D) Try lots of things.

E) What are you a little good at? Usually what you have some talent at could easily grow into an obsession.

I asked Sasha Cohen, a former world champion of figure skating, what was the one most important ingredient of being the best in the world at something. Anything.

“Obsession,” she said. And so did the other 399 people I’ve interviewed.

And once you find your obsession, how do you improve?

And remember two things:

When you improve at any one thing, you… IMPROVE.

The way you do ANYTHING is the way you do EVERYTHING.

PLUS, MINUS, EQUAL:

When I was 17 I barely knew how to play chess. But I was a geeky, lonely kid and I wanted to be popular and I wanted to be good at something.

I wasn’t an athlete and girls didn’t like a pimply scrawny kid like me with no confidence.

I knew the rules to chess and they asked me to play on the bottom board of the school team. They gave me a book of rules to read while we are on the bus to the match. I won my game.

I don’t know why, but I became obsessed with getting better. People liked me when I won! I wanted to be liked.

Within three months or so I was the best on the team. A year after that I was the best high school student in the state and one of the best people in the country for my age group at chess. A game that millions of people played.

Here’s what I did:

I found my PLUS:

I took lessons from Sammy Reshevsky (once the best player in the world) and Michael Wilder (the US Champion). I took lessons up to three times a week.

Not everyone lives near a mentor they could take lessons from.

But I also read one-two chess books a week. And I studied the games of all the top grandmasters. For instance, Bobby Fischer’s book “My 60 Memorable Games”. I went through each game and his analysis over and over.

I had real mentors and virtual mentors.

I found my EQUALS:

I found other people my level who were striving to be better. We would study the same books and try to analyze different positions. We would play against each other and this was a way to see how I was improving relative to my equals who were just as obsessed as me.

I found my MINUS:

After I became better than everyone else on my school’s chess team I started giving them lessons.

If you can’t explain a concept to a three year old then you don’t fully understand that concept. Which means I’d have to go back to my PLUS (real or virtual) to understand more.

30+ years later I’m a nationally ranked master. I play every day. It’s something I’ll enjoy for the rest of my life.

(Frank Shamrock, the best MMA fighter in history, explained to me his Plus, Minus, Equal theory)

I had to get better at investing to survive.

It was 2001 and I had lost all my money I had made by selling a business for $15, million. I was struggling to raise a family, pay my mortgage, and nobody would give me a job.

I found my PLUS: 200 or so books about investing. I also found real mentors by trading for various hedge fund managers, although I had to gain knowledge from the virtual mentors before real mentors would even talk to me.

I found my EQUALS: many message boards of investors, everyone trying to figure out the right strategies that gave good, consistent results. Was it value investing? Momentum? Arbitrage? Etc.

I found my MINUS: I started writing about investing to people who understood far less than me. The MINUS was critical because it helped me understand how the masses invested and what they were doing wrong that I could model via computer software.

I became a good investor and made a lot of money and pulled myself out of the hole at the exact moment I was about to be buried alive.

TEN A DAY:

In the summer of 2002 I was so depressed. I had about four months before I would lose my house.

I was scared. One thing made me happy.

I would write down ten ideas a day. Somehow being creative just a little bit made me happier. Made me have hope. Made me think I would make it. That no matter what I could make it.

I could climb. I could improve I could wish and hope and live and love. Just ten ideas a day and maybe one would be good or okay or something I could grab onto and it would pull me out.

And it did.

MICRO-SKILLS:

I wanted to get good at stand-up comedy. It’s scary to go onto a stage with a room full of strangers.

It’s like public speaking but it’s not. I could go up and speak about Donald Trump and everyone could nod their heads and then my job is done.

But in stand-up comedy you go up to a room full of people who have no idea who you are and you have to make them LAUGH every fifteen seconds, more or less.

It’s HARD to make people laugh.

Do you know how many times the average child laughs per day? 300 times!

Do you know how many times the average adult laughs per day? FIVE TIMES!

So if I’m doing stand-up comedy for 15 minutes I have to make the people in the crowd laugh roughly sixty times. 12x more than they normally do in a 24 hour period.

(Dave Chappelle has all of the comedy micro-skills: storytelling, likability, crowd work, punchlines, point of view, etc.)

I did the PLUS, MINUS, EQUAL. I did the ten a day. And still do.

BUT… “stand-up comedy” is not one thing. Just like “investing” is not one thing. And “chess” or “tennis” or “piano” or “business” is not just one thing.

Comedy is a collection of micro-skills where each skill has nothing to do with the other skills.

You have to master each micro-skill in order to improve.

Here are some of the stand-up comedy micro-skills: likability, crowd work, crowd control, humor, delivery, dealing with hecklers, stage work, act-outs, writing, voice work, etc.

Here are business micro-skills: ideas, execution, leadership, sales, negotiating, fundraising, marketing, customer relations, etc.

Here are chess micro-skills: openings, endgames, attacking, defending, tactics, positional ability, and each of those are broken into micro-skills (king and rook endgames, king and two bishops endgames, king pawn openings, queen pawn openings, tactics in closed positions, tactics in open positions, etc.).

[FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM TO SEE MY WEALTH MICRO-SKILLS]

Divide your passion into micro-skills. Pick one each day. Get a little better at it.

Last night, for the first time, I did a full hour of comedy in front of a full house of people.

I had a blast.

Did they? The key skill of comedy is to know that if you are having a party, then they are also.

BORROW HOURS:

Malcolm Gladwell says that the Beatles practiced for 10,000 hours before they became the best in the world.

(The last time the Beatles performed together)

I’m 50. I don’t have that many 10,000 hours left in me.

But the good thing is: we’ve all done many things in life. You can borrow hours from other things you got good at.

I’ve put in my 20,000 hours writing. I’ve put in my 10,000 hours public speaking.

I was able to “borrow” hours from the time I’ve spent doing humor writing and public speaking when I started to get interested in stand-up comedy.

I had put in my 10,000 hours running businesses when I needed to get good at investing.

Investing means: “investing in businesses”. Too many people treat investing like a game. It’s not.

When I buy a share of Apple, I’m owning a piece of a real company with products, management, employees, investors, etc.

I borrowed from my hours running companies in order to understand how to value the companies I was investing in.

The other day someone said to me, “You can’t skip the line.”

Shut the F up.

I can do what I want.

FAIL FAST:

When I was 17 I was playing chess for my high school team. I was in the #1 spot after playing for just a few months.

I lost.

I threw the pieces on the board and ran out. I heard everyone laughing.

I didn’t go back to school for a week. I hated myself. I hated life. I judged my life by my ability to be good at something and now I was “bad”.

I was a sore loser.

I stayed at the same level for years. But then, I don’t know why, I stopped being a sore loser.

I loved chess but maybe it was because I had other things in my life. I had a business. I was married. I was creative in other ways.

So I took lessons again (plus minus equal) and I quickly hit the Master level.

How did I improve so quickly then?

By losing a lot of games and then studying them.

Where did I go wrong? What micro-skills did I need to learn? What was I missing?

I studied with my PLUS. I asked my EQUALS. I taught it to my chess students.

I got better.

At comedy I was heckled when I first started. I was telling an extremely crude joke.

A father had taken his two sons. He started yelling at me, “Get off the stage!” I was so new I didn’t know what was happening so I kept telling my jokes while he was yelling

Afterwards, the MC came on and said, “Sir, do you need a drink?”

And the heckler said, “That guy was weird.”

I didn’t know what I did wrong.

So I asked my PLUSses.

“Videotape yourself,” one said. So I started doing that and, now, several years later, I still do it. I videotape each set and watch myself with both the mute and un-mute buttons.

Another PLUS said, “Likability is more important than humor.” I went too fast into my crude humor without focusing on likability.

Another PLUS said, “Work on setup/act-out/absurd-ism/punchline.”

Another PLUS said, “Work on crowd work”.

One of my EQUALS said, “You didn’t show enough confidence on stage so the audience knew they could overpower you.”

Another EQUAL said, “Find things that the audience can relate to first.”

I had to fail and bomb and die before I could kill and destroy and murder.

SAY YES:

People always say, “Say no”. This is true. I even wrote the WSJ bestselling book, “The Power of NO”.

Well…

Say yes.

When you first start improving, say yes to everything. You need to learn.

I didn’t know what to say “no” to at first.

When I started my first business, “Can you design a logo for us?” Yes. “Can you write this software for us?” Yes. “Can you help us develop a new kind of tea?” Yes. “Can you come to LA for a meeting?” Yes.

I learned what to say Yes to and what to say No to. But I had to say a lot of Yesses.

With stand-up comedy, “Can you do one-liner jokes on a subway?” Yes. “Can you go up for 15 minutes even though you never have done that before?” Yes. “Can you go up tonight without any notice?” Yes.

“Yes” gives you the opportunity to build out the map of your comfort zone.

GO WHERE IT’S LEAST CROWDED:

I asked Peter Thiel, the first investor in Facebook, what made Facebook so special.

“It’s the tenth social media network out there. It wasn’t unique.”

“No,” he said. “It was the first.”

“The first what?”

“The first social network with verified identity.”

Every other one prior to it: MySpace, Friendster, GeoCities, Tribes.com, etc allowed anonymity.

Facebook went to the place least crowded and became a $500 trillion company while the others went out of business.

Warren Buffett worked at 40 Wall Street for Benjamin Graham. He could’ve stayed there. That’s where all the Wall Street investors were. That’s where all the information was.

No.

He moved to Omaha. There were no investors there.

(A very young Warren Buffett learning public speaking in Omaha because he had the foresight to know he needed that micro-skill to raise money)

By himself, he studied every company report. He read all day long.

He’d find small companies in the middle of nowhere that he thought were undervalued.

He would drive to those towns and put up signs: if any employee has shares they want to sell, you can find me at this motel.

And then he’d buy up all the shares he could. He didn’t buy them on a Wall Street exchange, competing with everyone else. He went to people’s homes.

He was the only person who did this. Everyone else stayed on one little block in one city.

He became the most successful investor in history.

—

Everyone wants to stay in their comfort zone for a very good reason: It’s comfortable!

Of course it’s good and fun and easy to stay in the comfort zone. I HATE being uncomfortable.

But since EVERYONE is in the comfort zone, the comfort zone is where it’s most crowded. Everyone does the same thing, shares the same ideas, believes the same rumors, loves the same people, pursues the same dreams.

Right outside the comfort zone is a friendly neighbor: Opportunity.

Opportunity is just sitting there, waiting for someone to find it. But nobody wants to be uncomfortable.

Practice being a little bit uncomfortable each day. Practice getting outside the comfort zone.

Take a cold shower, tell jokes in a subway. Pitch an idea to your hero. Say sorry to your mother.

TALENT SEX:

Scott Adams, the creator of the most syndicated cartoon strip in history (Dilbert), told me:

“I was not the best drawer, but I was pretty good. I was not the funniest guy but I was pretty funny. I was not the best at business, but I was pretty good. But when I combined them all, I was the best.”

And that’s how he created Dilbert.

POINT OF VIEW:

When I look at social media, it seems like there are only two point of view: pro-Trump and anti-Trump.

One side screaming at the other. Nobody listening to anyone. Oh, and if you need to scream louder, find out what the latest viewpoint of your “team” is and shout it out loud.

Everyone in their air-conditioned suburban homes yelling how they’ve “lost faith in humanity” because of the other side.

Whatever I do, I try to have a unique point of view. Else I’m just replaying someone else’s thoughts.

Point of view on publishing: don’t beg an agent or publisher to publish your book. Self publish a book! And here’s why X, Y, and Z.

Then I self-published my most successful books, helped Amazon advertise their self-publishing, and even created a course on self-publishing.

I do a podcast. I don’t just interview people to get facts. I have a point of view: I want to know how people survived their darkest moments. How they climbed out of the hole.

Selfishly, I wanted to learn this so I could get better.

I didn’t ask Kareem Abdul-Jabbar how to get better at basketball. I could care less. I asked him why I couldn’t find any photographs of him smiling.

I didn’t ask Sara Blakely how to sew underwear (which made her a billionaire). I asked her how she avoided doubting herself when she had never been in the fashion business.

I didn’t ask Jewel how to be a better singer. I asked her why she turned down a million dollar deal when she was homeless and sleeping in a car. I wanted to know how I could have such authenticity.

(Arguing with Jewel)

I had a point of view that created my “question compass”.

In stand-up comedy, point of view is critical. Else you just tell fart jokes. I have insecurities about relationships. I’m afraid to lose all of my money. I think most of society is hypocritical. I think people are 100% irrational 100% of the time.

Jerry Seinfeld looks for the absurd in everything. Then he makes a joke.

Point of view is funny when it’s unique.

BACK TO BASICS:

Whenever I bomb on a 15 minute set in a professional lineup in a crowded room, the next day I do an open mic with beginners.

Whenever I make a bad investment, I get back to my basic formula (invest with people smarter than me).

Whenever I have a bad relationship, I try to meet people who I can just be friends with. Restore my faith that there are good people in the world.

——

There are good people in the world.

Connect with them.

That’s how you improve.

The post How To Improve Yourself In 6 Months appeared first on Altucher Confidential.

Source: https://bloghyped.com/how-to-improve-yourself-in-6-months/