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welcometophu · 5 years

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Extra: the past haunts the future

For those who celebrate, Merry Christmas! For those celebrating, Happy Hanukkah! For everyone else, happy Wednesday. :)

We’re taking a short break from the main storyline today to show a little something off to the side. Pawel’s been worried (of course!) about Conor. Have you been curious? Let’s have a little outside viewpoint about Conor. (And a little bit about Pawel, too).

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the past haunts the future

Colt/Leo (with all their kids), 2,923 words

Colt doesn’t mean to be late getting home; it just happens. He picks up Jennie from pre-K, then collects Emma from her after school program. Jennie needs cupcakes for some reason he doesn’t fully understand, and Emma asks if she can bring in brownies to cheer up the new kid in her class, and next thing he knows he’s standing in the grocery store with a full cart and two hungry children while he tries to wrangle dinner arrangements over the phone with Nevaeh.

“We aren’t burning anything down,” Nevaeh says. There’s a clatter in the background, the rustling of the phone moving before she yells, “Matt cut that out! I swear to God, I’m going to—I have to go because Matt’s climbing in the pantry. He’s a rat. I think he’s trying to hide from Duke and I don’t even know, but I promise, we’ll have spaghetti ready to go on the table when you get home. How’s Emma?”

It all spills out in a rush and a single breath, and it’s a good thing that Colt’s used to how their eldest teen foster speaks when she’s distracted. There’s a soft whoosh and a thump and a yell in the background.

Jennie blinks up at him from where she sits in the cart, a box of cupcakes halfway to open in her lap. Her fawn brown eyes go wide and innocent and she carefully sets the box down again.

Colt pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’ll see you when we get home. Shouldn’t be too long. I’d bring dessert but I’m not sure anyone there needs sugar and apparently everyone’s taking sweets to school tomorrow anyway.”

Nevaeh doesn’t respond, simply disappears with a click as the call ends.

Emma tugs at Colt’s sleeve. By the time he looks at her, she has her hands behind her back as if she never touched him. “His daddy disappeared, too,” she says quietly. “We have to get the right brownies. We can get enough for the whole class, but Conor’s most important.”

“What kind does he like best?” Colt doesn’t remember a Conor, but Emma says the kid’s new, and it sounds like he’s having a rough time.

Not only that, it sounds like he’s having the kind of rough time that Emma more than understands. Colt motions and they weave through the bakery until they stand in front of a display of multi-packs of cookies and brownies. Emma steps forward and surveys them all thoughtfully, her lips pursed and brow furrowed. She finally reaches out and taps a box with one dark finger. “These?” she asks hopefully.

Colt picks up the box she picked—dark chocolate with a toasted coconut and caramel topping—along with a box of plain brownies. “We’ll get two, in case he doesn’t like coconut.”

Emma scoffs. “Everyone important likes coconut.”

Colt doesn’t doubt that they do when its drowned in caramel like a certain addictive cookie, just like these brownies happen to be, but he’s seen enough picky kids to know they should bring options. “Just in case,” he says, as both boxes go in the cart.

Jennie has a cupcake out of the box and chocolate frosting smeared on her hands. Nothing else seems damaged, so Colt lets it go. There are bigger fights that could be had than this one right now.

He’s not sure how a run to collect food for school turned into a week’s worth of shopping, but their kids go through a lot of food, and if he’s at the store he might as well pick up a few things.

Several grocery bags worth of “few” that is.

Emma helps him put the bags in his SUV, while Jennie scrambles into the back seat and her booster, leaving chocolate fingerprints everywhere along the way. His phone rings while he’s getting both girls buckled into their respective booster seats, singing out with the tone he set for Leo. Colt lets it go until everything’s set with the girls and he’s gotten the car started, by which point the ringing has long since stopped. He speaks clearly: “Call Leo.”

It’s picked up on the first ring.

“You’re on speaker,” Colt says, before Leo even answers, because there are things that shouldn’t be said in front of a car full of kids. “I had to stop off to pick up a few things, so we’re just leaving the store now.”

“What kinds of things?” There’s rustling in the background, which means that Leo’s still at his desk. The rustling stops, and Leo’s voice is clearer. “I’m walking out the door now. I am well aware that I should’ve been home—”

“You texted and said you needed me to pick up the girls, that wasn’t a problem.” Colt waves it away as he pulls out of the parking lot and heads for home. “It’s not the first time one of us has covered for the other and it won’t be the last. Nevaeh had dinner well in hand, I think. Matt and Duke were… something chaotic, I’m not sure. I wasn’t clear on it from what Nevaeh said. Anyway, I needed to pick up cupcakes for Jennie’s pre-K and Emma wanted to bring in brownies for the new kid in her class.”

“Conor!” Emma yells out. “His daddy disappeared, too!”

A soft hiss of breath, almost inaudible.

“Leo?” Colt says softly.

“Conor Szczek’s in your class?” Leo asks.

The bottom drops out of Colt’s gut.

“That’s Conor. He just started. He’s staying with his Dziadziu until his dad comes back. He’s just temporary too, like me.” Emma stares at the rearview mirror, and Colt meets her eyes, not rejecting her words.

Emma hopes her parents will appear as abruptly as they disappeared. And if they do, well, that’s great for Emma and Colt would be happy for her. But they’d miss her, too. She’s already one of their kids, even if it’s only been a couple of months.

“So anyway.” Colt fights to keep his tone even. He knows Leo can hear the beat of his heart over the line, the way it tripped over Conor’s surname and how it still feels like its rushing now. “Cupcakes and brownies turned into a not-so-quick trip to resupply everything the kids have run out of. We’re on our way home now. You’re heading out already?”

The question there is really are you going to come home and explain this to me and he’s positive that Leo understands that.

“I had to cover Cap’s shift,” Leo says carefully. “I need to swing by his place to drop off some paperwork. Shouldn’t take long. Make sure the boys leave some food for me, okay?”

“Matt and Duke are both pretty gross, but you old people still eat more,” Emma says and Jennie giggles brightly. Colt can see Emma’s pleased smile in the mirror as she offers a hand for a high five, and Jennie smacks it.

Colt chooses to ignore the rudeness since, for the moment, the girls are bonding.

“I’ll see you at home then.” Colt touches the phone to end the call, and drives the rest of the way in silence.

Given what information he has already, he has a feeling that whatever story Leo has to add to it isn’t going to make him feel any better.

Dinner is chaos, as usual. After dinner it’s time to make sure the little kids get homework done first, then get ready for bed while the older kids claim the kitchen table for their turn. Colt and Leo handle the cleanup in silent cooperation, hoping that it’ll move the evening along without arguments.

Emma is the one who dawdles, lingering outside the room she shares with Jennie until even Nevaeh has gone to bed. She goes to get a cup of water and brings it in to set on her nightstand, then goes to brush her teeth for the third time. When she announces quietly that she needs to pee for the fourth time in an hour, Colt reroutes her to the living room, where Leo waits on the couch.

She hesitates, then climbs onto the couch, sitting on the center cushion between Leo and Colt. Her lips are pressed together, her braids swinging forward in her face.

“What’s wrong?” Leo asks quietly, leaning closer to her; Emma flinches slightly.

Colt sets his arm across the back of the couch, fingers lightly brushing Leo’s shoulder until he pulls back and gives Emma more room.

“I’m okay,” she mumbles. “I’m just worried about Conor. And I wonder if his parents and my parents are in the same place. And if maybe there’s something out there going around stealing Talented adults or something. And if it wants more adults, or maybe it wants moms and dads. Or maybe it wants kids next.”

Colt meets Leo’s gaze over the top of Emma’s head.

“We’re not going to let anything get you and steal you away,” Leo says quietly. Firmly. Colt looks at him and sees the king of the plains, the majestic lion as clearly as if Leo had shifted his form.

Emma licks her lips, presses them even more tightly together. She clasps her hands tight in her lap, shoulders shaking. “But what if it—what if you’re not here?”

Oh.

“Emma,” Colt says quickly.

Her head lifts, eyes wide as she looks at him. “You can’t promise—”

“I can promise that we will do everything in our power to ensure that we are here for you,” Colt says solemnly. “We know there’s maybe something out there, and we’ll watch for it, and we will make sure that you—and Duke and Matt and Jennie and Nevaeh—are all cared for and safe. You’re right; I can’t promise that something won’t try to come for us. But I can promise that if it does, Leo and I will fight back with everything that we have and are.”

Her mouth stays open in a small rounded ‘O’.

“Colt said it better than I could,” Leo agrees. “And remember, I work with Conor’s grandfather—”

“Dziadziu,” Emma corrects them.

“Cap is doing everything he can to find Conor’s dad,” Leo continues. “And I’ll make sure he knows that you think that maybe it’s the same thing that took your parents. Because that’s good information, and maybe it’ll help the police.”

For the first time that Colt can remember since Emma came to them a couple of months ago, he sees hope light her eyes. She smiles slightly, and her hands unclench. “Thank you,” she says solemnly. She slides off the couch, padding away on bare feet. “I think it’s going to be nice out tomorrow,” she says as she walks away. “It’s spring. It ought to be nice so we can play outside.” The door to her room closes with a soft thunk after she goes in.

Colt slumps back on the couch.

Leo tilts his head, eyes closed as he listens. After a moment his expression eases. “She’s almost asleep,” he murmurs. “The rest already are.”

Colt looks at the long hall that leads to the three bedrooms on the main floor: Jennie and Emma, Matt and Duke, and Nevaeh installed in what’s supposed to be the master suite. He and Leo gave it up to her when Emma arrived at the end of January, while they moved into the playroom over the garage. “Maybe we should think of getting a bigger house,” he says.

He moves when Leo tugs at him, ending up curled close to his husband, one arm around his waist as he leans his head against his shoulder. Colt rearranges himself, stretching out along the couch, burrowing back into Leo’s heavy warmth. “We’re probably going to bring home more, right?” Colt asks.

“I was thinking of telling Cap that if he needs help, Conor can always come here,” Leo murmurs, pressing the words with soft kisses against the top of Colt’s head. “I know Lucy and Rowan would send us more, if they found more around here who needed us. We can house hunt any time you’re ready.”

Colt files it away as a potential distraction against the issues at hand. But first those issues need to be discussed. “So,” he says, and leaves the opening for Leo to explain.

“I had a call this morning, and I had to drive by Hart Acres on my way back to the station,” Leo says. “You know the place: that retirement community where you have to be over fifty-five to live there, and no one is actually retired. But they do have a strict no kids rule, and this morning there was this kid standing out at the end of the road waiting for the bus.” He pauses a moment before adding, “Cap’s car was right there, waiting with him, and I recognized the kid from the pictures on his desk. Cap’s proud of him.”

Colt makes a small non-committal noise.

“So I asked.”

He makes it sound simple, but Colt knows it’s not as easy as that. After all, they’ve both known Captain Janusz Szczek since before he was the captain. They’ve known him since they were in high school, back when he was just Pawel Szczek’s father.

Pawel. Who’s apparently missing now.

“And?” Colt prompts. His throat feels tight, because it might feel like a lifetime ago, but Pawel was his most serious relationship before Leo.

Leo combs through his hair with his fingers. His head drops, words a whisper of warm breath against the back of Colt’s ear. “Conor came home a week ago and Pawel was gone,” he murmurs. “It’s the second time in a month, and this time he didn’t plan to leave Conor with the neighbor first. Conor went over to visit, and when he came back, Pawel’s car was still there, but he was nowhere to be seen. Apparently he’s not the only one to disappear. Pawel was working with some of his students, and except for one who was unconscious when Conor got there, they’ve all been listed as missing now.”

“Do they have any idea…” Colt’s voice falls away as Leo shakes his head. “Shit.”

“Yeah.”

Colt pushes himself up so he can turn and face Leo. He frames his face with his hands, leans in forehead to forehead. “You okay?”

Because this isn’t just about Colt’s ex. Colt dated Pawel more than a decade ago, before they left for separate colleges. But Leo dated him first, three years before that, when Pawel and Colt were just freshmen in high school and Leo was already a senior.

Leo shakes his head slowly. “Not really. I spent a long time talking to Cap today. Pawel’s been looking into things that might be related to how Emma’s parents disappeared,” he whispers, almost inaudible. “So she might not be wrong. Whatever it is might have come to get him, too, along with some kids on that campus.”

Colt exhales. “Leo. That’s not your jurisdiction.”

Silence.

Colt slides his thumb across his cheekbone. “Leo.”

“We have the kids,” Leo mumbles.

“We have the kids,” Colt agrees. It’s not that they’re a burden. But they promised that they would be there, that they would be family for these children. Every single one of them is chosen, a part of their household for a reason, and Colt won’t risk that.

Neither will Leo, in the end.

Leo shudders on an exhale. “Fuck. Cap’s worried. I’m worried. Near as I can tell, finding Pawel rests on the shoulders of some kids because no one else seems to care. Or understand that it might be magical.”

“Tell Cap to offer our help if we can,” Colt encourages. “And tell Cap that if he needs space for Conor, we’ll make space here. We can rearrange. I’m pretty sure Emma would happily throw Jennie out of her room to make a place for Conor to sleep.”

Leo huffs at that. “Probably. Colt, I—”

“I know.”

They’re scared. Pawel isn’t just an old school friend. Once upon a time he was the love of Colt’s life, and he’s pretty sure it was intense with Leo, too. It was strange enough when they met, finding out that they had Pawel in common. Colt never expected it to come back like this.

Colt slips away, rising slowly as he offers his hand to Leo. When his husband stands, Colt draws him close, wrapping his arms around him, pressing his cheek against Leo’s cheek They stand there for a long moment, until the tension in Leo’s shoulders eases.

“I’ll come by to talk to Cap with you tomorrow,” Colt says. “If he’s getting in after putting Conor on the bus, he’ll probably be there right about the time I get everyone dropped off. We’ll offer whatever he needs. Okay?”

“No, but it has to be, doesn’t it?” Leo captures Colt’s hand, quietly kisses the backs of his fingertips. “We have to protect them.”

They have to protect the kids, and protect themselves. But if they can do something to help out Pawel, they will. Colt knows that’s true for both of them.

Colt takes a step, tugs on their joined hands. “Let’s go to bed.”

Because tomorrow will be another day, and they’ll look at everything with clearer eyes then. And maybe when they wake up, they’ll find out that Pawel Szczek is back as abruptly as he disappeared. Maybe they’ll get lucky.

In the meantime, they have each other, and that’s what they really need.

#welcome to phu #phu extra

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historywhore2-0 · 7 years

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Last Hurrah

I had my last night at Big Chill for the year on Saturday night. Sherlock and Rob were behind the bar wearing Santa hats. There was a salsa band and an awesome DJ. Simon was in a disgustingly good mood. It was a good, if short, night. Kaela was with me while Pen stayed in with Dave. She doesn't drink so I didn't quite know what to do with her. We didn't really talk to anyone besides each other and the bartenders. When we first got there I checked my coat and walked over to where Arturo was working behind the bar. While standing waiting to actually get to the bar I saw Simon standing by coat check so I walked over and said hi to him. He hugged me and I introduced him to Kaela. He said hey and hugged her before running off to wherever he was going. I turned to Kaela and said, "He's not normally that huggy. I'm trying to figure out what he's on." Her eyes widened a bit at my nonchalance. While I was waiting for Arturo to finish serving someone Rob caught my eye and waved at me, not bothering to put down the bottle that was in his hand. I introduced Kaela to Arturo over the bar and he asked, "The same?" and then gestured for single or double. I told him a double while silently horrified that he actually had my order memorized. I got my drink and we wandered around for a bit. I went looking for Dawid so we went upstairs to the Snug. Simon was working and I said I was looking for Dawid and he said he was on break. He originally didn't know who I was talking about and said, "Who? Oh, everyone calls him Acid now." This is beyond weird. I said, "Why? Because he did acid?" This beyond unlikely. Simon laughed and said, "No, he's straightedge. Well, he was straightedge", with this glint in his eye. My eyes widened, "What do you mean 'were'? Did you break Dawid, Simon?!" There were customers standing at the bar now so he laughed and said he'd tell me about it later so we walked away.

We were in the stairwell at some point and there's this ledge that always has a bunch of free newspapers and stuff. I looked over and the title of one stack caught my eye: the Socialist Worker. I shook my head and said "Simon fucking Prendergast". I ran upstairs to the Snug and leaned on the bar. When Simon leaned towards me I grinned and said, "So, do you want explain to me why there's a stack of the Socialist Worker in the stairwell?" His eyes widened as he jumped back, defensive, "No! You're not going to believe me when I say this but they were here when I got here! Liam said the same thing to me! It wasn't me!" I was crying I was laughing so hard. I was leaning against the wall trying to catch my breath. So amazing. We walked away and stood at the door to the Terrace talking to Tof for a bit before Ed came to give him shit and we went back inside where it was warm. At one point I asked Ed where he was from and he told me to guess, I said Brazil and he smiled. I then asked him if his full name was Eduardo. It was. Too cool for words. I love being right about things like that. It is going to be a constant struggle to not call him Wardo though. Damn you, TSN. Kaela insisted that she was ok without a drink. I walked to one end of the bar downstairs and Maggie walked over to me and said, "Hello, Trouble," before hugging me. I introduced him to Kaela and he attempted to disparage me. I tried to shut him up and he talked over me going, "People at home should know who you really are!" Jerk.

I stopped to talk to Toff for a few minutes and gave him shit about not calling Neelam (which she's totally ok with but it's fun to watch him flail). I went and sat on a ledge for awhile to see if there was anything interesting to see, knowing that I could not drag Kaela with me to talk to randoms. She would probably die. We ended up back upstairs so I could get the Dawid story from Simon. It turns out that Dawid didn't drink before moving to London. He started drinking out of necessity; he's a bartender. I can't believe anyone from Poland had to move to the UK to start drinking. Simon made some quip about how there's a lot of things about Dawid that don't make sense. I decided not to push the issue there. I told Simon that Kaela's never been drunk and his eyes widened. I told him I felt like I needed to buy her a shot of something, Agwe maybe? He told me that if I let him make her a proper cocktail he'd give us a 25% discount. He decided on Rosie's Lemonade which is a sweet whiskey cocktail. I told him to make us two and as he did so I gave him shit about how he was doing it just to watch him smile and defend himself. As he finished I told him that he was making Kaela her first legal drink and he goes, "I've never taken anyone's virginity before." I responded quickly, "Really? I heard it's a good time." "What?" "Nothing." I handed him a tenner and he gave me back change. I could get used to an employee discount. I miss William and Mario. Kaela took a sip of her drink and blanched, "Oh my gosh!" Simon fell apart, "That is literally the most adorable thing I've ever seen." He came out from behind the bar to hug her. He couldn't handle it. It was hilarious to watch her drink it. I liked it more than I thought I was going to. I'm not normally a fan of whiskey but Sim has a way of making it sweet enough for me to enjoy. Jesus, I'm disgusting.

Maggie ran upstairs at one point and poured two shots of whiskey, one for Simon and one for the girl that was working with him. Simon threw back the shot and I said to him, "Are you gonna be able to keep that one down?" with my tongue between my teeth. His face stretched into a defensive grin, "I hadn't drank in two weeks!" Maggie laughed and grabbed my arm as he walked past to go back downstairs, "Look after Simon, alright?" I laughed and stopped him from walking off long enough to say, "Yeah, that's the best plan I've ever heard. Me look after Simon? That'll really end well." Maggie barked a laugh, "It will!" He's ridiculous. It got a bit busy then so we went and sat up in the Nook to drink our drinks. Well, I drank my drink. Kaela nursed hers. As it got closer to when we had to leave I started to make my rounds. I found Toff and Ed and said good-bye. I waited next to the bar for Sherlock to be free and hugged him while he said something incredibly Irish over the music. We went to go upstairs to find Simon but we stopped in the stairwell so I could drink some of Kaela's drink. Maggie walked in and goes, "I thought you were supposed to be looking after Simon!" I rolled my eyes at him as walked to the other end of the stairwell and pulled open the door to the break room. I heard him laugh and he called back to me, "You actually are!". I heard Simon respond, "What?" and Maggie laughed again as I fell apart.

A group of guys walked down the stairs and went to open the door to the main bar but I stopped them. "Declan?" It was Callum's friend Declan who I think is amazing. He's far more normal than anyone else in the group and he has the added benefit of looking like he's 16 and adorable with his curly brown hair and hoodie. There was a guy with him I didn't know and he walked back into the stairwell looking a bit terrified. He said hi and turned to the guy he was with, "This is Callum's friend." I cringed a bit at that and Declan goes, "She hates Callum." "I don't hate Callum!," I protested. The guy with him was someone named Tom. He then told Tom, "This is the girl that gave me shit about my Bears hat." "Well if you don't know what it is you shouldn't wear it. Do you even know what sport it is?" Declan smiled at me, "Yes! After you gave me a hard time about it I went and did research." I practically fell over. So fucking funny. I asked him if Callum and Liam were with them mostly because I'd made a joke the week previous about how I was going to run into Callum the night I went to Big Chill with Kaela. It was going to happen. Declan said that they hadn't come out. I laughed a bit at this. They're definitely terrified which is hilarious. I have no bad feelings towards Callum at all. I might be a little pissed off if he ignored me or if I saw him hitting on another girl but generally I'm not angry at him for anything. Tom was hitting on Kaela but I couldn't help her as I wanted to be besties with Declan and that required conversation. Tom did interrupt me at one point to ask if anyone called me Britz. I rolled my eyes at him. Declan than made me tell Tom Penny's full name which they both found hilarious. I told Declan that we needed to be facebook friends and he attempted to give me Tom's full name and then goes, "And it's Callum Mackenzie!" "I know Callum's second name. Do you know how common a name that is? And come on, what's your surname." He eventually gave it up and I said we had to go, we had to catch a Tube back to mine which meant explaining that I don't actually live in King's Cross and all that. I hugged him goodbye and wished him a Merry Christmas. It was a hilarious encounter. I'm so glad I noticed him when he walked by.

I finished off my drink and Kaela couldn't believe I wasn't on the floor. Sure, it was a Simon drink so it was fairly strong but it brought me to my third drink of the night and I'd eaten. There wasn't that much alcohol. Both Bobbie and Ed had walked in while we were talking to Declan and Tom and told us that we couldn't stand there and both of them looked at me and said, "You know that" before walking out. I go there too much. I gave Kaela my coat check ticket and asked her to grab my coat while I ran upstairs. Simon was still on break or whatever but Dawid was behind the bar in the Snug. I gave him the rest of Kaela's drink and told him to give it to Simon or have it himself. I just didn't want it to go to waste and I know that Simon at the very least has no issue drinking my drinks. He nodded and I said I was going, I'd be back in a month. He came out from behind the bar and hugged me goodbye. He looked a bit out of it and was a bit quiet but I was in a hurry anyways so it was fine. He wasn't wearing his normal trucker hat which was a bit strange but I waved goodbye while he looked a bit helpless from behind the bar. I went downstairs and ran into Arturo who kissed me three times and told me to have a good Christmas. I got my coat from Kaela and stood at the end of the bar waiting to catch Rob's eye. He saw me and walked over. I said I was leaving and he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. He asked when I'd be back and I said the end of January. His eyes widened and he hugged me again, tight. I told him to have a good Christmas and all that and he hugged me a third time looking sad as he pulled back and I kissed him on the cheek.

I really wanted to see Simon before we left so after saying goodbye to Toff I ran back upstairs really quick and stuck my head into the Snug. There was still only Dawid. I went back downstairs and led Kaela out the side door that I'm not technically supposed to use but the main bar was crowded and I was afraid we'd miss our train. I didn't want to have to pay for a cab when I'd already said goodbye to everyone.

We got home without incident and I logged onto facebook. Simon was online so I messaged him saying sorry that I didn't see him before I left but to have a good Christmas, New Years, etc. I didn't expect him to respond. I just didn't want to post it on his wall. He responded and we had a decently long conversation. It was bizarre. I could not believe that I was having a facebook conversation with Simon. We've definitely crossed the line from customer to friend. He was off and just waiting for everybody else to finish so he was sitting in the office. I called him a loser and told him to go home but he kept talking to me for ten minutes as we shared how we both love how fucked up everyone in London is compared to what people think. I told him about me telling my friend who will be here for two weeks in January that "There will be a lot of people on a lot of drugs. If you know that, things will be much less confusing." He sent me back a million ha's before agreeing with me. He really does think Kaela is adorable. I told him I didn't think her boyfriend would appreciate that and he responds, "I didn't mean it at all in a sexual way. She is quite cute though." He types like a human which I knew he would. Eventually he told him he had to dash but he'd see me in January. It absolutely kills me how many of these bartenders I am legitimately friends with. This number increased the next day when I was sitting on facebook in the afternoon and Dawid messaged me. Simon and I had a legitimate facebook conversation months and months ago but it had happened. Dawid had always been closer to Pen (they have a hilarious friendship made up mostly of panic and confused hand signals). I'd never really spoken to him. He messaged me apologizing for the night before. He'd been hammered the night before and was running on an hour of sleep. His written English isn't too bad actually. We talked for like 45 minutes. They'd all gotten off of work and were going to go out or something and they found him passed out in the break room, dead to the world. They'd put his coat on him and brought him to the Tube station and sent him home. He'd passed out on the Tube and woke up somewhere he didn't live, which is disturbing as he lives at the end of the Piccadilly line. I told him that they should've known better and sent someone with him to take him all the way home. He said that Sherlock was with him but he somehow convinced him that he was fine and he'd gotten off. He has no idea how he managed this as he has no idea what his English is like when he's that drunk. I was dying. Kaela thought there was something wrong with me because of how hard I was laughing. I probably did sound a bit bipolar as I was simultaneously having a frustrating conversation with George. Dawid and I talked about a lot of nothing but I learned a lot about him. He's genuinely a hilarious person and I was so sad that there was no way for Penny to be a part of this conversation. Eventually he had to go but he wished me a merry Christmas and wished me luck with my family.

I'm glad that I got to kind of cement my friendship with him and Simon before I left. I genuinely adore that whole bar staff. I love that Maggie calls me Trouble and gives me shit about things. I love Sherlock's teasing comments, sarcasm, and the fact that he can tell us how much he hates his life. I love having in jokes with Simon and watching his face when I tease him. I love knowing that Toff, Ed, and Ben would all protect me with their lives. I love Arturo's genuine affection and David's smile of recognition (even if that does means he think's it's ok to get grabby when he's drunk). I love that Rob and I are clearly friends and that he clearly cares (though how much is really up in the air as there's been some confusing moments with him lately). I love that Dawid was worried I'd be mad at him or something because he didn't wish me a merry Christmas. They are genuinely good people. They may occasionally make stupid decisions but they're good people. I have no regrets about the relationships I've forged with them. They've even seeped into my new year's resolutions. I feel like making out with Simon is inevitable. It really is. We have a ridiculous amount of chemistry and his territorial response to Callum makes me think there's something there. Plus, we do have a tendency to get drunk and end up with out faces close together and me standing between his legs. It's ridiculous. So, I figured I'd stick it on my list of things to do in 2012. That way, when it happens I can feel slightly accomplished instead of horrified.

My other thing is that I want to have a conversation with Rob. I want to know if he's just an awkward person or if there's something awkward between us. I don't know if I could have a legitimate relationship with Simon. It would be too ridiculous but Rob is a different story. He's less unpredictable, sweeter and with less of a tendency to get high and act like an idiot. I want to know if there's something there or if he's just a really strange person (which he kind of is but that's not the point). God, Simon would freak out though. He would be so passive aggressive if I started dating Rob. Penny had an epiphany the other day. We've dib-sed up the bartenders. She has Atilla and George and Arturo (by default) and I have Simon, Sherlock (though I will never have Sherlock really), and Rob. She had a thought, what if they'd done the same thing to else? What if they'd decided who had dibs on each one of us? The sad thing is that they probably match pretty closely. Atilla and Dawid would lay claim to Penny. Rob and Simon would both throw their hands up for me. One day we're going to end up at a staff party with them and hard drugs and things are not going to end well.

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