#I still can't believe I got to hug them and share friendsgiving with them and feed them chocolate and experience at least one of them prosec

[you-are-so-much-better-than-that]

[5-secondsofcolor]

Wishful Thinking

Summary: What happens when Luke makes the wrong wish to the right person? A simple airplane conversation changes his life and now he’s got to find the resolve to fix it. Careful what you wish for, you just might get it.

Length: 4.8k

Warning: None

Eliza wakes up to find a text message from Luke Hemming, “There’s a delay on my way home, baby. I’m going to be stuck with a layover in Hong Kong overnight.” 

Who the hell is Luke? Luke. Luke Hemmings? Why’s anyone calling her baby nevertheless, Luke Hemmings. Confused, Eliza calls her best friend, if anyone’s setting this straight it has to be Teresa. 

“I’m going to assume Luke’s not home yet if you have the time to call me.” Teresa jokes. 

“Tere.” The seriousness in Eliza’s tone stops Teresa dead in her tracks. 

“Eliza?” 

“Who’s Luke?” 

There’s a pause on the other side of the phone, Teresa hesitates wondering if she should respond with sass instead she explains plainly, “He’s your boyfriend.”

“My what now?” 

“Boyfriend? Novio? Significant other?” She rambles on becoming alarmed at the lack of playfulness in Liz’s tone. 

Eliza look around her apartment. It’s the same one she’s lived in for years, the same decorations adorn the walls, the same pictures, save a few new ones, hang above her desk. She looks more closely at the new ones and sees herself with arms wrapped tightly around a man’s waist. His thin frame towering over her own as he leans down kissing the top of her head. Blinking rapidly she takes it down, yeah that’s definitely Luke Hemmings. 

She takes a seat feeling her body run hot as she tries to wrap her head around it, “I don’t remember this.” 

“What are you talking about Eliza? You’ve been together for almost two years.” 

“Tere, I can’t remember him.” 

“Liz, I’m coming over. Just sit still and I’ll be there in like 15 minutes,” She promises as she grabs her keys and heads out of her apartment. 

Liz sits at her desk, looking at all the other pictures of them together; they’re almost believable but there’s no way she could just forget it all. She gently runs her fingers along the border of the frames. It’s surreal, the small polaroids feeling fake as she stares and waits. 

—

Tere doesn’t bother knocking, letting herself in with a spare key instead. She finds Liz at her small desk still looking over the pictures of her with Luke. Her expression contorted with panic as she looks up at her best friend. It’s rare for them to find one another with anything other than a smile and a hug.

“Where’s piggy?” Tree asks. 

“Piggy?”

“Petunia,” Teresa calls and hears her soft barking from the kitchen.  “Liz, who’s shirt do you think you’re wearing?” 

Liz takes a jagged breath as she looks at the oversized band t-shirt she’s in. Immediate she feels woozy again. Taking a seat she tries to remember where the shirt’s from. Maybe it’s from that vintage store she likes. It has to have made its way into her closet without her noticing. 

Hesitance is thick on her tongue as she guesses, “Mine?” 

Teresa gently shakes her head and Liz is grateful she’s already sitting because she’d surely have fallen over otherwise. She balls her hands in an attempt to stop the tingling in her fingertips. Racking her brain for answers, Teresa wonders what it could be. A prank? Unlikely. There’s no way it’s a head injury. Do strokes cause memory loss? 

“Uh come here.” Teresa leads her to the hallway wall heavily adorned with pictures. “Do you remember this?” She asks pointing at an image of them together, dressed up in dresses. 

“That’s Lupe’s wedding, right? Like sometime last year?” 

“Ok. What about this one?” She says point to another image. This time it’s one of Eliza and Calum at Thanksgiving dinner. She remembers laughing at something silly but can't remember the joke. The memory vignetting around the edges, there but not as clear as it used to be. 

“That memory is blurry. It was that Friendsgiving party but it feels like I was blacking out.” 

“Do you remember who took that picture?” 

Eliza shakes her head, “You?” 

“No. That was Luke.” 

“¡¿Como que fue Luke?!” 

“¡No me grites! Let me see.” She scans the all before settling on another picture. This time one of Luke and Liz from their early friends Christmas. “Do you remember this?” 

“No. It’s like I know that’s him and that’s me but I have absolutely no memory of it.” 

“Fuck, dude.” Teresa exasperated tone only adds to the panic growing in her stomach. Liz presses her forehead to the wall with a light thud. Maybe it is a little brain damage. 

“Ok, we’re taking you to my place. Let’s go,” Tere says leading Liz into her bedroom by her shoulders. There’s little difference between their apartments but Liz’s panic-stricken face makes it clear that she needs out. Liz tries to ignore the extra clothes in the drawers that have always been empty; she quickly finds a shirt and jeans to toss on before leaving. 

Calum’s warm smile fades as he sees Liz and Teresa make it back to the apartment. The color drained from Liz’s face makes her look positively sick as she forces a smile in return. Brows furrowed, he searches her face for some answer but all he sees is a blank stare, “What’s up, Liz?”

“She’s not feeling well. Women’s issue,” Tere in interjects, dragging Eliza through her apartment by the arm. 

“Woman’s issue?” Liz says closing the door to the bedroom after them. 

“He’d have tried talking to you. You two are basically best friends.”

“Yeah. I remember that much. What’s he still doing in your apartment?” 

“He moved in when his place got termite. You helped him move in with… Luke. Ok so it’s anything with him that’s cleared from the hard drive.” 

“That's comforting,” Liz whispers as she bursts into tears. 

After a while on the couch, Calum can’t help it. He finds some resolve and goes to Tere’s door, knocking gently he asks, “Hey is everything alright?” 

Taking in a deep breath, Liz opens the door.  Better to nip it in the bud now. “Cal, I can’t remember Luke.” 

“What do you mean?”

“All my memories of him are gone,” She repeats her voice cracking as Calum opens his arms to her. She burrows her face into his chest as her sobs take over again. Over her head, Calum turns to Tere. She gives him a solemn nod and he pulls her tighter against him. “We’re going to sort this out. He’ll be home tomorrow and we’ll be with you the whole time. Ok?” 

—

“Casi llegas?”

“No, I’m on my way to Baja. Bye.” Liz hears Teresa’s heavy sigh and returns one of her own, “I’m like 5 minutes away.”

“Better be. You can’t go to Baja without me.” 

“Is… is he there?” 

“Yeah, he got here this morning. They’ve just been catching up while we wait for you," she explains.

Luke’s already settled on the couch when Liz gets to Teresa’s apartment. Liz’s heart skips a beat when she spots him; she’s immediately tempted to sit beside him and curl into his side. She knows she misses the comfort of his warmth despite not remembering it. Instead, she sits opposite to him beside Calum, feeling the awkward silence closing in on her. 

“Welcome back to the states,” She says unsure how to start. If it’s appropriate to jump straight in or make small talk. 

“Hey.” He responds breathlessly. His blue eyes clouded with worry as he watches her sit, bouncing her knee restlessly. It feels foreign to have her in the same room yet so far away; he wants to move beside her and rest a hand on her knee but he sits still and listens. 

“Ok. After a day of prodding from Teresa and Calum, we’ve learned that my memory is a weird gradient and it correlates with the degrees of separation from you. If the memory is with you, it’s gone. There are also some memories that are just fucked up because you’re there but not directly, you know? Memories with family and independent from you are pretty intact.” Her voice cut and dry as she concludes with, “that’s as far as we got.” 

Calum and Luke share a knowing look and Liz can’t help but feel the anxiety bubble over. “What are you two doing?” 

“Nothing.” They answer in unison. 

“No. That’s not a fucking nothing. What is it?” 

“I think I know what caused this.” Luke answers. 

“What do you mean? I’m going to the doctor tomorrow.” Liz answers 

“Just, listen, please? Don’t panic and listen?” Luke says, eyes pleading for calm as he waits for an answer. 

“Ok.”

“When I was flying back to the states, there was this woman on my connecting flight. Her name is Lucinda and we got to talking, I told her about one of our arguments. It happened right before I went back to Australia. I wasn’t supposed to go we were supposed to spend these two weeks together but I had to. Anyways-- she said she was a fairy and that she’d fix up our relationship issues. I thought that she was just an odd woman on her way to Hong Kong but now I think there might be more to it.” 

“Are you two high right now?!” Teresa interrupts before Liz can get her thoughts together. 

“I know how it sounds but it’s obviously not memory loss. There’s a chance...” Calum says. 

“Ok. I’ve been saving this memory to test this. You both talked about this for months and swore you’d never forget it. Do you remember Luke’s gift from last Christmas?” 

“I can remember the joy around it. I remember my heart beating really hard and the heat of the excitement but I can’t remember it. No.” 

“Luke pull up one of the videos.” 

Immediately knowing what she’s referring to, he pulls up a video of Liz backstage at a Fleetwood Mac concert. The emotions of the day flood her as she watches herself hugging the members and meeting them briefly. Liz struggles to hold it together, her face contorting as she gets angry at the memory loss. 

“I met Fleetwood Mac and don’t remember because of you and some fairy woman, Lucinda?!” Her indignant tone bouncing off the walls. “I don’t remember Stevie Nicks because of you?!” 

“You met Fleetwood Mac because of me.” 

“Oh wow. Thank you! You want thanks for wiping out the last 18 months for that matter?” Luke recoils as she paces the living room before turning back to him. “What were your words, exactly? What did you tell her?” 

“I don’t remember.” 

“Luke, you said it like two days ago. Try real fucking hard.” 

“I said sometimes I thought your life would be easier if we weren’t together and I think I said something about wishing I could erase myself from your memory to spare you the pain. I think.” 

“You think? Wow now you know how I feel,” She scoffs, venom laced in her words in a way foreign to Luke. 

“Liz—“ Teresa starts trying to place a comforting hand on her back. 

“No. Nobody gets to Liz me. Not today. I’m missing chunks of my memory because this one wants to go blabbering around wishing that I’d forget him and, by some fucking twist of fate, he said it to the right person. I didn’t do anything and I’m the only one affected.” Her lower lip trembles and she feels fat, hot tears start to pool in her eyes. “I need to get out of here. I can’t do this.” 

Liz grabs her keys and bolts from the apartment, leaving them all staring at one another. She drives for miles before she ends up at the beach. The blue sea stretches ahead of her as she settles in her hoodie on the sand. It’s far too cold to be in the water but regardless she takes off her shoes and dips her feet in a moment.

After a while, Liz feels someone standing too close to her side. She doesn’t have to turn to know it’s Luke, almost as if her body remembers what her mind cannot. 

“What do you want, Luke?” 

“I want to help.” 

“I think you’ve done enough helping.” 

“Then I want to make sure you make it home safe. I’ll wait in your car.” He says picking up her keys from the beach and walking towards the parking lot. 

“No, Luke. You can stay.” 

Luke takes off his shoes and rolls up his pants before joining her in the water. He watches out of the corner of his eye until he grows the bravery to face her. “Are you ok?” 

“No.,” she says. Luke watches as she presses her lips together before she speaks again. “I can’t begin to explain how not ok I am right now. There’s photographic evidence of what we used to be but that was then and now it’s just you and me. There’s this weird longing in my heart like it misses something but my brain can’t connect and it hurts, Luke. It’s like when you break up with someone, it still fucking hurts, but I can’t even find comfort in any of our memories.” 

“I can fill you in if you want?” 

Luke takes her silence as a go ahead as he takes her hand and intertwines their fingers. He rubs gentle circles on the back of her hand with his thumb, knowing she’ll find it comforting. 

“You’re the best partner I’ve ever had. I love having you sleep beside me. Even when you’re angry, you’ll let me hook pinkies. Half the time, I wake up long after you but I never have to worry about you leaving me because you’re just hanging with Petunia in the yard. I push myself to improve for you, to be the person you deserve.”

Liz feels horrible, the admission of love does little to answers where this all left them. The questions played on both their minds. Stay together and find a way to sort it out? Give a final goodbye and go? The first line is already scored would it be so hard to finish it?

“I think it’s time to go home. Maybe it’s time for a pros and cons list.” She says brushing the sand from her pants. 

Luke’s heart swells recognizing the woman he’d fallen in love with. “Is it ok if I crash on your couch? I was supposed to crash at yours until I closed on the new house.” 

Maybe it’s the way her body still remembers his or the way his simple presence has calmed the panic in her brain, she’s knows it’ll calm her too. It feels silly but she knows she can’t sleep with him too far. 

“Only if you promise not to make any more fucking wishes.” 

—

Liz wakes up early the next day, laying still she keeps her eyes closed searching for any memory of Luke. Unable to understand what happened to make him wish her to forget in that way. Instead, she finds a broken mind, her blank slate. She opens her eyes to an empty bed, to the walls of her bedroom still adorned with pictures of them, and a wish of her own; so simple yet so hard, all she wants is her memory back to be able to move forward. 

Temptation says break it, take down all the pictures and destroy the memories; Send Luke home and be done with him too. Start a new life, he wished her away anyways. What could have made him wish that? Her? Him? Her ears begin beating in her ears as she feels the lump in her throat come back. She swallows it down and goes to her shower. If anything, she can start the day off right. 

Before she can start the water, there’s a light knocking on the door. 

“Yeah?” She asks, moving closer.

“Don’t forget you switched face wash. The pink one dries your face out.” Luke calls out. 

“Thank you.” Tears sting in her eyes as she hears her voice waver. 

Liz is surprised to find Luke fully dressed and waiting for her at the dining table when she gets out of her shower. His duffle bag packed away and settled at his feet. She immediately recognizes his Guns N’ Roses shirt; it’s the same one she woke up in two days ago. 

“I’m heading to a hotel. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable hosting me. It was wrong to put you out like that yesterday.” Luke stares at his hands as he explains, fidgeting with a ring, instead of turning to her all too aware he couldn’t face her with a brave face.

“Luke, we need to talk about things. Every time I look at you my heart swells before it sinks. I need to know what went so wrong that you’d wish that.” She blinks quickly trying to stop the tears building up unsure why the thought of him leaving scared her so much. Without a thought she sits in front of him, taking his hand in her own, calming them both. “I understand that are days where things are wrong and all you want to do is go, that’s all a part of relationships, but before you leave, if… if this is done, if we’d lost out love, then I need to know because I need closure too.” 

If they’d lost their love, the idea of that alone makes Luke recoil slightly in pain. He turns to look at her expecting anger but only sees her eyes pleading for truth. There’s no anger in her. He recognizes the look from the last time they were together before he had to rush off to Australia, it’s sadness and pain as she tries to understand. 

“No. No matter what happened and what I wished, we never lost our love or our compassion and respect for each other,” Luke sighs heavily, “The last time I left, I could see it weighing on you differently. I leave and get to tour but you carry the pain of distance. Then when we finally have time together, I have to go back to Australia. I know you understood but the hurt in your eyes made me so afraid that it was all starting to crack. I never wished for it because I didn’t love you or I wanted this to be over.”

She’s afraid to speak, that her voice will deceive her and falter as she takes in what he’s said. It feels like an eternity of silence until she speaks silently, “Not promising anything but you can stay on the couch if you want. It’s ok.” 

“You write the rules, I got the time,” Luke assures with a comforting smile. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Yeah.”

“Are Calum and Teresa… you know? 

She can’t help the laughter that rumbles in her chest. With a shrug, she breaks out into a smile that lights up Luke’s day, “I don’t know but you’re poking a sleeping bear if you go snooping.”

“I’m not afraid of Cal.” He says picking up his phone and texting Ashton.

“Who said anything about Cal?” She laughs as she texts Teresa, letting her know her decision.

—

“The doctor said it’s not neurological, whatever this is likely psychological. He referred me to a specialist but… I don’t know,” Liz sighs as she throws herself beside Luke. It’s been four whole days since her memories gone, she continues without any idea if it’s magic or just a stroke of bad luck. She thought it would be weirder to have him around her apartment but it’s been comforting and right now she wants all she can get. 

“Luke?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to help me make dinner tonight?” Liz asks looking for any semblance of normalcy between them. 

Luke’s heart leaps into his throat at the offer, “Yeah. What’d you want help with?” 

“You want to roast the veggies while I make pasta?” 

Without another word, they’re off to the kitchen. Luke pulls out veggies; carrots, asparagus, even zucchini. Truthfully he hates zucchini but for her, he’ll have it every night. They share a comfortable silence as she starts on meatballs. She watches out of the corner of her eye as he dices the mushrooms, terrified he’ll dice through his finger but she holds her breath letting him do his part.  

“Hey, Luke can you put on some music? I got meat on my hands,” Liz says as she mixes the ground meat and breadcrumbs. 

“You got it,” He says as he brushes past her, laying a gentle hand on the small of her back as he moves to grab his phone. It’s so natural neither of them think anything of it until a moment later. 

“I’m so sorry-- it’s just--”

“Its okay Luke,” she says trying to conceal the smile upon her lips as she forms meatballs onto a baking sheet. They fall into a comfortable silence each working on their own thing. Dinner’s ready in a heartbeat and Liz takes their plates to the table. Luke wants to tell her they never eat here, that they bought the coffee table large enough to sit in the living room but instead he bites his tongue. 

“Are you a red wine or a white wine kinda guy?” Liz asks as she reaches into her alcohol cabinet.

“Honestly? Not crazy about wine,” he says putting two beers on the table before he settles across from her. 

—

“We have to level the playing field, Luke!” Liz says as he clears the table. He’s unsure what she’s getting at until he comes back to a stack of index cards and a pair of pens placed them between them, “How about we each write out 10 questions and we gotta answer them truthfully? First one’s ‘do you actually like zucchini?’” 

“Shhh! We’re not asking yet,” He argues as he takes his pen and begins writing. 

The rest of the night gets away from them as they sit at the dining table. The 20 questions multiply as answers become a mess of overlapping stories. Some answers are new and a few they’ve heard before but her reaction means so much more this time. Sadness creeps in as Luke piles of questions shrinks and he picks up her final question, “why didn’t you eat your zucchini?” He gives her a look and genuine laughter filling the room as she doubles over with tears in her eyes, Luke’s only wish is that he could hear that laugh forever. He would never admit it but it’s his favorite question of the night.

“Want to go for another round?” She asks, tired but not ready to break the peace of their night together.

“Yeah but let’s move this to the couch because my butt is numb, someone talks too much!” He flirts.

“I know! P, does your poppa always talk so much?” She flirts back and they move over to her couch together. 

They continue to speak without cards this time. Liz slowly leaning further and further into Luke until her head rests upon his shoulder and he takes her hand in his. They swap stories until the day’s weight it too much on Liz; Luke’s still speaking when he hears her soft snores. He helps her lay across the couch, draping her favorite blanket onto her before he settles on the floor beside her. He’s thankful she bought the fluffy carpet as he holds her hand. In the dim light of her living room, he prays that they’re finding their resolve to stay together. Even if that means remaking all the same memories so be it. 

Up early again, Liz is surprised to see Luke laying on the floor beside her. Concentrating on his features as she wills her brain to reconnect. For any part of the universe to fall back into place so she can have the memories back.  She just notices the soft slope of his nose, his eyelashes almost gold in the soft sunlight, the way his soft snores start to lull her back to sleep. She wonders if these are the things that made her fall in love with him once. Maybe that’s the weirdest part of it all, some part of her remembers that love. She can’t help the way she so desperately wants to lay on his chest and listen to his sleep. 

With a sigh, Liz pushes off the couch to find her phone. She finds a mess of texts from Tere as well. 

Tere 10:13 pm: I don’t know if you remember but we have concert tickets for tomorrow. You still want to go? Yes?

Tere 10:20 pm: HELLOO?

Tere 11:32 pm: Love me, choose me, pick me. 

Calum 10:50 pm: Teresa would like you to answer her messages. 

Tere 11:18 pm: I’ll be DD please come?!

Tere 11:54 pm: Damn bitch you throw your phone in the ocean?

“I’m down. I’ll check with Luke when he wakes up,” Liz responds.

Before she can put her phone back down, Teresa responds, “We’ll pick you up at 7! Be ready!”

They get to the concert late, Teresa’s 7 pm became 7:40 and LA traffic became the final nail in the coffin. Eliza and Luke both used to Teresa’s perpetual tardiness. They only bother to pause for a beer before rushing through the venue to general admission. It doesn’t matter that they end up in the back, Liz and Luke immediately find their groove singing and dancing. At their favorite song, Luke wraps an arm around her waist and holds her close. Taking in his warmth and his scent, Liz feels herself melting into him. 

As the night wears on the comfort only grows along with the need to hold him. Run a gentle hand through his hair and plant a kiss to his lips. She might not remember but she knows it’s no coincidence that he all her favorite places feel like him. 

She gently bites her lower lip before she finally asks. “Can I kiss you?” 

He doesn’t bother to answer, instead leaning down and connecting their lips gently. The rest of the night feels as though he’s floating on a cloud, he wants nothing more than to hold her close, his arms wrapped around her waist holding her close. Liz can’t make sense of the feeling of deja-vu, like coming home, it’s as though she’s done it a thousand times.

By the end of the night, their faces hurt from the smiles plastered across their faces. It’s a night of small touches and stolen kisses. Pulling each other in for a tiny peck again and again as they go home. Luke’s content sigh alone makes her heart soar as they get ready for bed. Without thinking, he hands her his shirt as he changes into his own pajamas. Though somewhat awkward, the rhythm of bedtime is not fully foreign between them.

For the first time in days, Liz curls into his side and sleeps well through the night. Luke spends half the night awake watching her breathing, afraid to close his eyes and find that it’s all a dream. Ultimately, sleep wins him over and he too falls asleep. Waking up abruptly to Liz’s panic-stricken voice, “Lu! Lu!” She repeats as she sits up, she doesn’t dare to try to stand, feeling unstable. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks, holding her face gently between his hands. Tears make their way down her face and his stomach sinks further than it’s sat all week. He braces himself for the worst, she’s forgetting more. 

“Moon River.”

Luke can’t contain the joy, tackling her back onto her bed and planting a plethora of kisses across her face; her laughs carrying down the hall as she tries to catch her breath. The relief alone is enough for her, “It’s back! My memories back!” she shouts at no one in particular. 

“Oh thank god,” He mumbles again as he hides his face in the crook of her neck. She can hear the tightness in his throat as he holds back his tears, nestling his face further into her as he tries to calm down.

“If you make a wish on a flight ever again, I will smother you. Petunia and I will live nice, full lives and visit you on the weekends. I promise you.” She laughs as she rubs his back soothingly a moment. “Oh and I remember now, they are— Tere and Calum— are something.”