#I still cant draw very well my hands hurt a Lot and I am experiencing brain fog like its damn s/ilent hill up there

[edns]

I'm not a child anymore.

Thinking about Cyrus's backstory pre timeskip/academy got me doodling things

[factual-fantasy]

I gots 20 more asks for yalls :}

That’s so something he’d try, but of course everyone around him would stop him because duh, that’s a sure way to lose a finger. XD

Oh, I’m sorry, but due to my energy levels being through the floor, I’m not really taking requests at this time.. <:{

Happy new year to you too! I uh.. wish I could say I did heh..

Thank you! However uh.. I don’t think I’m going to be up for drawing anyone's suggestions. My energy has been completely drained lately and I have no energy to draw anything other than things I personally really want to.

I’m not usually one for live action movies, or particularly scary ones for that matter. But I’ll keep that one in mind. :}

Wh-where you goin?? I didn’t get to say I love you too!

Hi, thank you, glad to hear that you like my headcannons. :}

Although unfortunately I don’t have much to say about what I think would happen after the incident. :{

Perhaps the crew would be a little shaken after hearing about Pesos broken flipper? Injuries like that are a big deal, Peso is basically completely out of commission until he recovers. And that might stress the crew out a bit, you know, not having their medic firing on all cylinders for a while.

And I feel like Peso would have to teach some of the crew, like Kwazii and the Captain some extended first aid because no one knew what to do with his broken flipper. He would have to teach the crew first aid and some other important things because he cant always be there for them when something goes wrong.

I feel like it would bug the Captain somehow as well that Peso broke his arm. Like, he’s the Captain, how did he let this happen? Even though the situation couldn’t be helped, I feel like he’d still feel guilty over it all somehow.

Kwazii would probably hover around Peso a lot too. He’d be so worried for his little buddy and would want to constantly check up on him. He’d probably play games with him, talk, do puzzles, whatever, just to keep the little guy company and help him feel better. Because despite how calm Peso seemed when it was first broken, I feel like it would freak him out later in. I know I would be too scared to move or even look at my arm if I broke it. Just the knowledge that the bones inside my arm are all screwed up would freak me out too much to do anything.

With Peso, I feel like he was calm because he was on a bit if an adrenalin rush, and after he calmed down I bet it really start to hurt. That could be why Kwazii spent so much time with him, he was just upset and hurting and just wanted someone to hang out with him until he got better.

A lot of artists seem to like fanart for some reason. I personally don’t..

It feels kind’a like you stole my character or idea and decided that you were going to do what ever you wanted with it. Which I know isn’t the case but that’s just how it feels.

It doesn't feel like a gift, it just feels like you stole something from me you know?

Fanart just doesn’t feel good to me, I cant understand why some artists like it. And I don’t understand why I don’t like it either, it just feels bad for some reason. Me not liking fanart is why I urge people to make sure the artist is okay with fanart before you draw something for them. <:}

Thank you, its nice to hear that you actually wanted to get all caught up heh.. Yeah I guess I started drawing a bunch of Octonauts stuff out of no where huh? When times get this low you just kind’a slink away into your comfort shows right? S’all normal.

As for going through a rough time? I sure am, we all are. I thought it was rough a few weeks ago, but now things have just come crashing down on me, and I cant even talk about it on here.

Thank you very much for all the kind words and encouragement! I really appreciate it, that’s just what I needed to hear. <:} ❤

I watched it, and man I cant wait to see what they do with that new gup! 

I was going to leave a link to the video here, but when I tried to go to the link you sent me the video had been removed..

As someone who is terrified of bees and other bugs, they better not come back.

Aww thank you! I’m very glad you like what I make! :}

I use FireAlpaca. Its a free art program that is simple enough that beginners can get the hang of digital art pretty easily, but has enough features to make some really complicated pieces. I’ve seen that you can even animate with it although I’ve never really gotten the hang of it..

Its got its weird quirks and there are a few annoying buggy things here and there that take some getting used to, but overall 8/10 would recommend. :}

Its interesting, although I don’t personally hold it as one of my headcannons, I have no issue with anyone that does. :}

Aww thank you, so far its been.. well terrible, but uh. hoping for a brighter future.. 

As for how they’d react to rain? Hmm..

I had this idea that the first time Bulkhead experienced rain he was out somewhere with Miko goofing around. It started to rain and at first Miko was just annoyed, thinking she’d have to go back to the base.

But then Bulkhead out of no where starts to flip out, he scoops up Miko, transforms and speeds away, all the while clearly having some kind of panic attack. He races to a nearby cliff and rushes into a little cave for cover. He’s rattling and is asking Miko questions like, “A-Are you okay? Did it get you?- W-We’re you burned??” Miko gets him to chill out a little and he manages explain why he’s freaking out.

Even after Miko comes out of cover and dances in the rain to show him that its safe, Bulkhead is still too frightened to go out there. He’s spent his whole life being afraid of rain because he knows that it burns you and can even kill you if you’re in it for too long.. So even though he’s being shown right before his optics that, clearly, its safe. That primal fear of rain is too much for him and he doesn’t move. 

They eventually called for a ground bridge and Bulkhead bolted through the rain and raced through it. He told the other bots about rain and how Miko claims that its safe on this planet, but that still didn’t stop them from experiencing that same primal fear when they came into contact with rain themselves.

There was supposed to be another time when Ratchet and Arcee were taking the kids home from the Base. Arcee had Jack and Ratchet had Miko and Raf.

They were almost into town when It started to trickle. Jack was surprised that it was going to rain in Jasper of all places, but he was also annoyed because he was going to get wet. But then Arcee and Ratchet both hit the brakes and freeze up. “Did you feel that?” Jacks about to ask “feel what?” when Ratchet says “Yeah, yeah I did..” Raf asked Ratchet what is wrong, but then the rain really picked up. Out of no where Ratchet starts freaking out, “RAIN!! GET TO COVER!!” Arcee and Ratchet Floor it for town. 

They rush into town and find cover in a run down gas station that’s on the edge of town. Ratchet’s alt form is literally shaking and Arcee is really freaking out. Both of their primal fears making them forget that rain is safe on this planet.

“Are you okay? Jack? Ratchet? How bad are your burns?“ Jacks just like “huh??” But Ratchet goes “I-I don’t know, I don’t feel anything yet, were you burned?” Jack tries to say something but Arcee goes, “No I don’t think so, Jack gave me cover, are you alright Jack? Were you burned?” Finally Jack gets a moment to talk and asks what the heck is going on. They explain that on their planet rain is acidic, Jack then stands in the rain to prove that its okay, but just like Bulkhead they’re still scared.

Miko gets out and jumps around in the rain to show that its safe while Raf tries to explain to them that its really only water. They’re both not convinced and stay put. Raf gets out, cups his hands together and collects some rain water. He brings the water up to Arcee and Ratchet to show them that its just water. He even drinks some of it to prove that its really okay and not acid.

This convinces Arcee and she slowly inches out into the rain, eventually managing to get into it. Although she’s still nervous, after realizing that its safe she encourages Ratchet to follow suit,

Ratchet manages to inch his way out too and they both shakily take the kids back home. They come back to base and tell everyone their story, but again, that fear of the rain cant be reasoned with right away. It takes a bot to experience it personally to help them realize that this planets rain is harmless.

With Bumblebee and Smokescreen it could’ve been just like Bulkhead. Out with one of the kids, it starts to rain, the bot panics and the kid calms them down and explains that its just water. With Optimus, I feel like a human wouldn’t have been around to explain it to him. There could have been a time where he was out on a solo mission and it began to rain.

Like every other bot, Optimus has this instinct to hide from the rain, so he does and finds cover. He contacts Ratchet and tells him the situation, Ratchet tells him that he’s been in the rain before and it shouldn’t hurt him. Optimus is still nervous but he steps out from undercover, sees that its okay and moves on without really mentioning it to anyone back at base. The very same thing could’ve happened to Ultra Magnus later on now that I think about it..

With Wheeljack? Imagine him, Bulkhead and Miko were out driving somewhere, Miko is with Bulk and Jackie is following behind them. It starts to rain and it freaks Bulkhead out a little but he’s mostly okay, Miko reminding him that its harmless. Meanwhile Jackie slams on the gas and swerves off the road into the forest. Clearly no one told him that Earths rain isn’t acidic.

Bulkhead follows him and finds him in his alt form rattling and tucked really tightly underneath a big tree. They’re trying to talk to him and get him to relax but he’s clearly stressed out. Miko climbs out, goes up to him and manages to talk him down. Explaining that Earth is different than Cybertron, and that their rain is not toxic or acidic. Its just water. He calms down enough to come out of hiding but he’s still clearly on edge. He sticks close to Bulkhead and doesn’t talk much for the rest of their trip.

I feel like all transformers, con or bot, had a freaking out over rain moment at some point. Except for soundwave probably, I think he’d feel a liquid falling on him from the sky and not react because it doesn't hurt.

“The Octonauts is a British children's television series, produced by Silvergate Media for the BBC channel CBeebies, and based on the children's books written by Vicki Wong and Michael C. Murphy.

The show follows an underwater exploring crew made up of stylized anthropomorphic animals, a team of eight adventurers who live in an undersea base, the Octopod, from which they go on undersea adventures with the help of a fleet of aquatic vehicles.

Although its technology is fictional, the exotic creatures and locations that the crew encounter are based on real marine animals in their natural habitats. The show's subject matter has been compared to that of Star Trek and Thunderbirds blended with Jacques Cousteau. The show was animated in Ireland by Brown Bag Films for its first four series. The show was renewed for a fifth series in 2018, with Canada's Mainframe Studios taking over animation work.

Two new "movies" have been available on Netflix only since October 2020: The Octonauts and the Caves of Sac Actun (which takes place in a cenote in Mexico) and Octonauts and the Great Barrier Reef (a musical)”

I feel like this quote from the Octonauts wiki does a better job of explaining it than I ever could. :}

I feel sorry for the poor thing. <:{

It was a Gup destined for greatness someday, but because of unfortunate circumstances it was converted into an artificial reef.

Its just like the old Octopod. Destined for greatness, just imagine all the adventures that ship could’ve had with the crew.. But because sea creatures got to it before they could, it was doomed to a life of darkness at the bottom of the ocean. 

I feel bad for those poor Gups and other mechs that just didn’t make it.. 😔

No I still have some bread left over, here  (╯°▽°)╯🍞 Sorry, it might be a wee bit stale.

Oh I bet he gets hurt all the time and tries to play it of a bit so he can keep running around. Usually he does something stupid and gets hurt and he’s too embarrassed to really go to Peso about it. Or sometimes the injury would seem insignificant to him or the pain is tolerable enough that he thinks it’ll just go away eventually.

Maybe Kwazii doesn’t really avoid Peso’s care on purpose? Maybe he could have a high pain tolerance? Like, imagine he does something kind’a dumb and as a result gets his arm got stick under the Gup-B or something. When he frees himself his arm does hurt a bit, but it looks fine to him so he just thinks “eh”. He figures that the Gup-B isn’t very big or heavy, his arm wasn’t stuck for very long, what could possibly be wrong with it?

He comes back to the Octopod and casually tells the Captain what happened. The Captain seeing Kwazii gritting his teeth and holding his bent out of shape arm like that instantly made him turn right around and go get Peso. Peso wants to examine his arm but Kwazii’s all like, “Nah its fine me hearty, Its probably just some bruising.”

Well, put his arm through an X-ray and turns out what do you know he broke his arm in three places.

And Kwazii’s just as surprised as everyone else that his arm is broken. He’s like, “It was only the Gub-B! Is it really heavy enough to crush my arm??” And the Captains like, “The gup was ON your arm?? Of course that can break it!”

XD I bet Kwazii gives everyone a headache.

Thank you! :} And well, its more innocent than you might think. People have wondered if they were self harm hints or something more dark like that, but really its not that at all.

You see, I’m a bit of a clean freak. I usually wash my hands up to 40 times a day, no exaggeration. I would usually wash my hands with dish soap, which really does a number on your skin.

So, washing my hands 40 times a day with dish soap, plus drawing on paper for several hours a day meant that my hands were so utterly dry that they’d bleed. My hands were always bleeding and covered in Band-Aids like 24/7.

All of this was going on around the time I made my blog and designed my little avatar character. I wanted to give my character something unique, like an accessory of some kind. Like gloves, a watch, a scarf, a bag, something. 

Then I looked at my hands and thought you know? What if this strange aspect of myself was added to my character? Its ominous, its unique, it looks cool.. I think I’ll do that.

So now my avatar has bloodied banged all over its hands. Later on down the road today I try to wash my hands a wee bit less and I lather my hands in lotion religiously now. So my hands are much better and don’t bleed anymore. But those bloodied hands are now like a trademark of my character, so I haven’t removed them,

Although with this new uh, “playful” cat I have, I suppose the Bandages now resemble my real hands once again haha.

I looked it up and I didn’t find any info saying that its common or even normal for cats to have just one baby. So its safe to assume that Kwazii must have had at least a few siblings. As to where they are or what happened to them?. Well..

The life of a pirate is a dangerous one. And I find it odd that with how often he’s mentioned his Grandfather, he’s never mentioned any siblings..

Perhaps... they’re.. you know.. dead? Kwazii’s Grandfather could be the last living member of his family. Which is why if he ever mentions his family or his pirate days, he only ever talks about his Grandpa. Maybe talking about his siblings would be too much for him?..

Man, I gotta polish that into a headcannon or something, that stuff is angsty as crap. Imagine if he was attached to the Octonauts in a way no body really understood? What if his old crew was like his mom, dad, siblings etc, and he mostly became an Octonaut because he had no where else to go after loosing them? Now that his family are all gone and his Grandpa is missing, all he has is this new crew. He would become hyper attached to his new crew and all of his care and tenderness comes from a fear of losing them just like he did his real family. 

[hongism]

Hyello, okay so. I don't have the emotional energy to take in and discuss everything in that chapter so imma just gush over the info cause I am a ✨whore✨ for world building.

So obviously MOC SPOILER

hi bestie HELLO guess WHO!!! finally ANSWering!!! altho im gonna answer separately and space everything out all Neatly bc im all over the place so strap IN we’re going on an moc RIDE!

THERE'S A WHOLE SIREN COMMUNITY?! AND YN AND IT MUST BE WOOYOUNG WERE FRIENDS? SIRENS HAVE A FULLY FLEDGE COMMUNITY WITH PRIESTS AND SCHOOLS AND MULTUOLE CITIES TO SOME EXTEND??? MAYBE EVEN AN ENTIRE PLANET WITH SIRENS MAYBE THEIR ORIGIN PLANET? HOW MANY TYPES OF SIRENS ARE THERE AND IN THE COMMUNITY HOW DTRICT ARE THE DIFFERENT ROLES?!?! ALSO DOES THE SIREN COMMUNITY ALLOW FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF SIRENS TO BE TOGETHER? OBVIOUSLY THEY SHOULD BUT ARE THE CHILDREN THEN HYBRID TYPES, LIKE WHEN WE GET BLUED DARK SKIND BABIES OR CAN A SKREN ONLY BE ONE TYPE. WHAT POWERS DO SIRENS HAVE AND DOES THE POWERS REFLECT THEIR PERSONALITY AND DO THE DIFFERENT TYOES LEAN TOWARDS CERTAIN JOBS. LIKE WE JUST LESRNED THE OCEAN GOTTA BE PRIESTS BUT MOON ISNT STRICT WHAT ABOUT FIRE. AND IS YN INSTIC TO PULL OUT A HEART CAUDE HER PERSONALITT, TRSUMA OR IS IT RELATED TO THE MOON. ALSO CAUSE ITS A RED MOON WHICH IS COMMONLY A BLOOD MOON, IS YN THEN A SPECIAL MOON SIREN AND THATS WHY HER POWERS ARE STEONGER OR HER INSTICTS TO USE THEM ARE STORNGER BUT THEN THE MILITARY FUCKED HER UP. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

now this is the thing im biting my tongue on SO HARD bc it’s my favorite aspect of the world building and the universe and everything involved in it bUTIHDFKJG THERS SO MUCH I WANNA SAYYYYYYYYYY in short that one dream sequence holds more hints and information than ANYTHING from previous chapters, i think that it’s probably the MOST IMPORTANT dream to date. while we’ve seen some crazy ones in the past, this one is both the biggest hint and the biggest window into y/n’s past by FARRRR. even tho that whole scene was dialogue i think there’s so much to pick up on from it and so much to see and learn from it and it’s one of my faves bc there’s so much to unpack from it !!

Like yes the story and the development is freaking ✨yes✨ I love it. Genuinely think moc should be released as books. But I just cannot deal with the emotions rn.

But also now all I'm going to be thinking about how many sirens are actually out there. And if yn knew her parents and wasn't just an orphan the military found in the streets... How the fuck did she end up in the military grasps. What happened to her parents what happened to the community, is it still out there? Guess I gotta go back and reread the galaxies and the backstories, obviously I must have missed or have forgotten something. Ugh how the puzzle pieces are puzzling (or something). Moc is a drug and I'm not going sober anytime soon

(obviously you don't have to respond to my questions, this is more just an insight into the spiralling of theories going on in my mind)

releasing moc as books? a dream and a half, i can say that much slkjdlgkjlkf but back to the sirens... how many are out there? we heard early on that hongjoong was looking for ‘the last five’ but then seonghwa debunked that and said that was a mistranslation over time that was passed down and such, but beyond that, we don’t really know much about sirens as a whole? there are some hints in the galaxies and planet descriptions but if that dream sequence is a puzzle, i would say we have a handful of pieces that can be put into place based on what we’ve learned so far!!!!

Okay I lied, I am ready to unpack a little of the ✨emotions✨

When hongjoong explained that hwa tried to stop San only for San to detain him and in a sense make him watch the scene unfold. And then realising hwa had to go through that again, only being even more helpless. I don't doubt hwa loves San, but to see the events happening again, with someone he clearly loves as much as he does yn even if he also loves joong, and to see the desperation and determination must have been just. Horrible. Just absolutely soul breaking horrible. I can imagine him vowing to himself after San that he would never let something like that happen again. That of any of the crew got out of control like that, that he would fight harder to stop them. That he would would do absolutely everything in his power to stop it. And then being helpless as he watched yn do it. Just pure heart wrenching pain. And it must have been beyond terrifying to see someone you love ready and determined to kill themselves partly from rage and partly from desperation. With the backstory, that scene becomes almost as cruel as the warehouse scene with San. The only redeeming quality is no one needing life saving surgery in a time crunch, otherwise they would be the same level of ✨never again✨

honestly i think the two crew members i torture the most are san and hwa bc i just keep putting them thru all this shit and hurting them so much but really this was the defining point of why seonghwa was so afraid. before we kinda just knew he was afraid of yn and hongjoong was mad about it. in this revelation we get to see the source of the trauma and how it was amplified by it being someone he loves as dearly as he loves yn. and for sure when first reading that scene of yn and jisung in the brig, it’s meant to evoke a sense of anger and rage like yn is so angry to a point where she would do this sort of thing, but my hope with that scene was also to show that desperation. that when looking back at it after having already seen the rage and the aftermath, that reading it again shows how desperate and hopeless she was in that moment. which is exactly the same emotion that was evoked back in that warehouse scene with san, except it was relayed differently because the warehouse was a more immediate sense of desperation. this brig scene was meant to emulate that but in a slow burn kinda way where the veil of realization is pulled off after the fact and not in the moment!!!

Just to make sure you don't misunderstand. Those asks were compliments. You are an absolutely incredible writer. And the fact that you aren’t afraid of hurting your characters *cough cough* SHOOTING SAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? *CLEARS THROAT AGRESSIVELY* just makes the story much better. No one gets plot armour, making it more realistic (?) and really draws in the writer and sorta imitates the fear and desperation the characters feel

PLS don’t worry, i live for every moment and i live for these open and raw and genuine conversations i didn’t take any as an insult i PROMISE!! i think part of the nature of this whole trope of space pirates and criminals is that hter is no guarantee of safety! i don’t wanna have to cut corners to make sure everyone stays unharmed and undamaged throughout the story when the nature of the world i’ve built thus far is a wildly dangerous one!!! i always say that i try to be as realistic as i can, all things considered, and i think that’s the biggest thing that adds to the ‘realism’ in my mind so im so happy to hear that you see it and appreciate it and enjoy it!!!

OHOHOHOHOHOH ALSO

YN GRIPPING SOMEONES HEART??? YOU WRITE THAT SO FUCKING WELL. LIKE ENIGUH DETAILS THAT WE KNOW WHATS GOING ON, BUT ALSO NOT SO MANY DETAILS SO IT GETS DETACHWD FROM THE STORY. LIKE THE LACK OF CLEAR SUPER MANY DETAILS REALLY MADE IT THAT *YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THIS, NOT JUST READING IT* LIKE IT MADE IT WAY MORE EMOTIONAL AND OERSONAL AND THE READER REALLY GOT IMMERSED IN THE MOST HORRIBLE WAY THAT KUST MADE IT ALL RHE MORE BETTER. ALSO JOONG AFRAID????? JOONG REALISING HE GOT A FULLY FLEDGED HEART RIPPER SIREN WHO CANT CONTROL HER BODY TO MOVE THROUGH A HARMLESS DOOR BUT CAN DEFINITELY KILL IN A HEARTBEAT (OR TWO 👀) ALSO THE CONTRAST OF REMOVING RHE BLOOD COLOURED WHITE OLASTIC AND HAVING A CLEAN HAND UNDERNWATH. THE SYMBOL OF IT ALSO BEKNG A TRASH CLEANERS SUIT. LIKE SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY USE THE TRASH PROTECTION DUIT FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSE. ALSO THE OART WHERE SHE SAYS SHES FINE EVEN TJO SHE ISNT. AT FIRST I READ IT AS HER TELLING HERSELF TO LIE BUT THEN I REALISED ITS HER ADMITTING SHE VERY MUCH ISNT. AND SAN NOT KNOWING???? AND KISSING HER HAND AND UGH AND SEONGHWA KNOWING. I BET HE'S LOWKEY GETTING MORE AND MORE AFRAID OF HER. LIKE YN IS READY TO KILL HERSELF AND ANYONE AROUND HER TO KEEP SAN SAFE. AND SHE INSTICTUALLY GOES FOR THE MODT AGRESSIVE METHOD POSSIBLE. IHHHHHHHHHHHHH I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND YOUR WONDERFUL WTITING AND YOUR TWISTED MIND THAT CAN CREATE ALL THESE FUCKING SCENES THAT GOT ME THUNKING AND FEELING ✨EMOTIONS✨

truly one of the HIGHLIGHTS of the chapter simply bc of how shocking and sudden it is!! for me, that was one of the easiest scenes to write in the chapter, oddly enough? it was something that when it came time to write it, i knew how i wanted it to be and was able to just sit down and write it out the way its written in the final draft of the chapter. i really love playing with those aspects of fiction and storytelling. tangible to a point, without spelling it out. i think it’s obvious that i really love delayed realization in writing, but i really like playing with how the brain processes information and for me personally, i don’t pick up on things right away! i can realize them in a snap or it can take me a bit to go ‘oh god that’s what happened’, and i like playing with that in y/n’s character a LOT.

and in that same vein of thought, there are some layers to that scene as well when compared to the door scene. in the door scene we saw hongjoong clearly tell y/n ‘you need to do this to save san’ yet she wasn’t able to do it despite trying and believing hongjoong. then in the heart scene we saw y/n clearly tell herself ‘you need to do this to save san’ and she did it then. so there’s a lot at play in that parallel alone too. and with that internal monologue she has of im fine vs not fine, then san kissing the hand that touched a literal real actual beating heart for me that was a sort of self indulgent scene and i was really worried about it coming across as too cheesy or something like that, but that is something that’s gonna impact y/n as a character and her relationship with san when they have the conversation of ‘oh hey i put my hand through a man’s chest for you’

i think part of why this chapter was so difficult to construct and write as a whole definitely is because of all the undertones and nuances throughout, and in a lot of ways it’s so so much to even think about that it’s almost too much packed into one chapter alone, but even if you don’t pick up on all the nuances throughout, i’m hoping to revisit them and bring them back around in that delayed realization style again bc that’s one of my favorite things to do ofc :3

[jougogo]

tsukki, iwa, daichi, kuroo, sakusa, akaashi, and shibayam with an s/o who’s afraid of needles getting a flu shot

a/n: wrote this in honor of me getting of me getting my flu shot yesterday and NOT CRYING FOR THE FIRST TIME WOW WE LOVE GROWTH

characters: tsukishima kei, hajime iwaizumi, sawamura daichi, kuroo tetsuro, sakusa kiyoomi, akaashi keiji, shibayama yuuki

tw: mentions of needles

tsukishima

"kei, i don't like needles," you whined

"well, you still have to get them. are you really this weak? i thought you were stronger," he responded nonchalantly

ok that pissed you off

"HMPHH I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU" 

but once you were on the seat with the shiny syringe right in front of you?

all that confidence was g o n e 

"remember, you said you'd prove it to me." he smirked

you gulped and shut your eyes tightly

you could've sworn you felt his hand rest on your thigh as the shot was administered

you don't know what you were expecting, but the sting was only momentary and within a couple seconds, you were finished.

"ouch." you quietly yelped.

"see, you were just being a dramatic. tsk, weakling," he flicked your forehead

nurse looked kinda concerned ngl

but afterwards he'll carry your bags for you and open the doors bc he's proud

"good job, my weakling,"

"tsukki istg"

iwaizumi

iwa knew about your fear of needles

he found out when he noticed you grip the pushpin tightly between your fingers everytime you have to pin sticky notes to the corkboard you had above your desk

so when it was flu shot season, he'll def volunteer to get it done together w you

iwa bby being such a gentlemen gahh i cant

i can see oikawa as someone who was prob also afraid of needles, so iwa knew how to handle situations like this

"iwa-chan but they're pricking my arm and i'm gonna be numb how am i going to practice volley-"

 b o n k 

"get over it brattykawa"

jkjk he'll be so gentle and patient with you

"hey hey it's okay, dont look at the needle. look at me" he turned your face towards his, cupping your cheek to prevent you from seeing the syringe from your peripheral vision

you gazed into his pretty green eyes. 

oh, how they resembled a lush rainforest, full of tropical plants and-

before you could even realize it, the needle jabbed into your tender arm

"ouch," you groaned, leaning your head against his muscled chest.

"see, you did it!" he congratulated you, his lips curving into a small smile as he patted your head

he rolled up the sleevs of his t-shirt to reveal gloriously toned beefy biceps as the nurse administered his flu shot

ok this view is def worth the pain

as expected, he took it like a champ. manz didn't even tense up

afterwards he'll take you out for ice cream hehe

daichi 

when you confessed to daichi about your fear, he was so confused

"but i see you sewing stuff all the time?"

"dai that's different im not sticking the needle in my body bro"

ohhh ok ok now he gets it

he'll be so supportive the entire time!

"hey, i know you'll do great, okay? you're the bravest person i've ever met. you dont think a little thin piece of metal will get to you, do you baby?" he whispered reassuring words into your ear and brushing a stray piece of hair away from your face

when it was time for the nurse to give you the shot, you curled your body towards him ever-so-slightly

but he noticed and he thought it was the cutest thing

"hey, i'll protect you, don't worr-" he was cut off

you were gripped his shirt tightly in your fist and wincing at the pain

"ow ow ow" you mumbled into his shoulders as you felt the sting

"you're doing so good, sweetheart," he ran his hand up and down your back, attempting to sooth you

when it's all finally over he'll drive you over to his place so he can cuddle and "protect" you from the scary movie he very conveniently insisted on playing.

kuroo

"babe, you know you have to get your flu shot. what if you accidentally pass a deadly flu to my grandpa? you'd have to stop coming over to my house,"

your loving boyfriend kuroo was currently trying to get you to release your tight grip from the front door of your house

"i don't want to get your grandpa sick, but i don't want to have a needle poke me," you wailed, tears flowing down your cheek

he got tired and just carried you in his strong arms to the car and drove to the hospital, despite your protests

"THIS IS KIDNAPPING TETSU, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME," you screamed

he just whistled and rolled down the windows so everyone can hear

ofc, you shut up right then and there

"i'll get you back for this," you hissed

once you got to the hospital, you had no other choice but to oblige to kuroo as he dragged you through the halls to the vaccination rooms

the nurse was kind, but your heart was pounding

"te-tetsu, will you hold my hand" you whimpered when the nurse went to retrieve the tray

"of course, babygirl", he replied, putting his hands on top of your trembling ones

his large hands completely enveloped yours

when the nurse pricked the syringe into your arm, he squeezed your hands

"see, that wasn't too bad, right?"

"yeah, whatever" *sniffle sniffle*

also the type to take you for ice cream afterwards.

sakusa

"you may not come near me until you have received your flu shot," your beloved boyfriend declared

"omi omi but i need you. and also we were just cuddling this morning bruh" you pouted. "please please please will you come with me" *cue the puppy eyes*

"fine" he grunted. 

at the hospital he refuses to sit next to you, insisting that he stands def not bc he's concerned abt the germs on the seat

when you froze upon seeing the needle, he put one of his big hands on your shoulder

"you can hold my hand," 

"really?"

"don't make me take it back"

"okie"

you put your other hand on top of his, your arm draping across your body

his fingers intertwined around yours and clasped it when you winced at the pain

he'll draw you a bath when you get home and wash your body for you!!

so sweet and loving 10/10 experience

akaashi

you were currently hiding under a desk

specifically, the doctor's desk

"my love. it's no use if you hide, we're already here," akaashi sighed

he spent the last 2 hours dragging you to the nearest clinic for a flu shot

"you need to protect yourself so you don't get hurt," he had explained calmly

only for you, his sassy s/o to retort

"so why are you dragging me to a clinic just so i can get punctured by a needle? isn't that like, pain? which im supposed to protect myself from?"

someone help this poor bby boy

but somehow he had managed to lure you into the clinic

"alright. this is the last level i have to conquer. and then everything should be fine again" he thought to himself.

just the shot. just a lil pinch. right?

w r o n g

you were hysterical and sobbing

frankly, he felt really bad. but this had to happen at some point, right? after all, your fear of needles had started since you were a child. he was bound to have experienced something like this, as your dutiful boyfriend

he actually felt really bad

so he turned to the method that has worked for him time and time again to sooth his anxiety

"here, play with my fingers, it'll distract you" he reached out his hand to you and helped you out from under the desk

it worked!!

when the nurse came back, he rubbed the back of your hand,  a silent "im here for you"

definitely lots of comfort and cuddles afterward!

"see, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

shibayama

the syringe was right in front of you and the nurse was currently disinfecting your arm with the alcohol wipe.

when he saw you tense up at the touch, he'll whisper lots of reassuring words into your ears 

"hey. you got this, i promise! it'll just be a little sting, and the pain is only temporary."

when he saw tears welling up in your eyes, he'll swipe them away with his thumb, caressing your cheeks.

"make me proud," 

how could you say no to his puppy eyes?? 

"i'll try, yuuki," you sniffled

he put his hand on your shoulder, gently drumming his fingers to the tune of your favorite song to help distract you

his other hand rubbing your palm

after everything's done, he'll give the bandaid little kisses!! 

awwww he's trying to kiss ur pain away my sweet baby

he wants you to know that even through pain, he'll be there by your side.

will take you out for ice cream pt.3

tags!!: @aka-a-shii (anna thank you for getting me into writing i hope i did akaashi justice), @toshisgarden (ily big sis mwah) @gigis-galaxy(bc ILY GIGI)

[artificialqueens]

Stupid For You, Chapter 7 (Crygi, Jankie, Jaida x Nicky) - Metaluna

Fic summary: A cliche lesbian AU. It’s the summer before Gigi goes to college, and she decides it’s time to take a job at a local amusement park. There, she meets Crystal, a beautiful girl that she with bonds over the anxiety of the service industry. Almost immediately, Gigi gets it BAD for Crystal. Meanwhile, Jackie definitely ISN’T gay. She likes men. Only. Men. What happens when a beautiful girl named Jan comes into the picture? And lastly, Nicky flirts with anything with a pulse. Jaida falls for anyone who gives her attention. This is going to be one interesting summer

Chapter summary: If anyone knows how to party, it’s the staff of Paradise Isle. When Brita turns 21, she’s determined to have the biggest party Paradise Isle has ever seen.

A/N: Hi everyone! I officially outlined the rest of the fic so it’s going to be 10 chapters total, three more to go!!

By the time Gigi made it down the exit ramp, all she wanted to do was leave. She heard Jan behind her, but kept moving forward. Her heart beat was pounding in her ears and she began to feel warm tears form in her eyes.

“Gigi, wait!” Jan called.

Gigi didn’t listen and instead kept walking. Jan managed to chase her all the way into The Landing until Gigi stopped dead in her tracks, rested her face in her hands and started crying. Wordlessly, Jan went up to her and wrapped her in a gentle embrace. Once Gigi broke away, Jan led them to a bench, and stayed quiet. She knew Gigi was about to explode at any second.

And she was right.

“How could she do that? What the hell? If she didn’t want to see me, she could have just fucking said something! I have no idea what the hell I did to her and why she’s acting the way she is, but I guess fuck my feelings! Right? Just fuck them!” Gigi threw her hands up in frustration before crying into Jan’s shoulder.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Jan cooed rubbing Gigi’s hair. She knew Gigi’s mascara was staining her shirt, but it was something she could worry about later.

“How could she?” Gigi’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“I don’t know, baby. There’s no way to know what’s running through her bizarre little head.”

Gigi wiped her eyes, trying to salvage what was left of her makeup. “I’m overreacting.”

“No, you aren’t. You need to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling. Your feelings are valid and you’re entitled to them,” Jan said firmly.

“I want to hate her.”

“Why?”

Gigi sighed. “I want to hate her, because that means I wouldn’t be in love with her anymore.”

“Wow,” Jan began. “I didn’t realize you were in that deep.”

“Jan, it’s bad.”

“Sounds like it.”

“If I could just hate her, I could be done and move on. I hate that when I see her pictures on Instagram with her shitty boyfriend, all I can do is think about how I wish it was me. I hate that she’s the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. I just want to hate her.”

“Do you honestly believe do any good?” Jan questioned.

Gigi mulled it over and sighed. “No. What am I going to do?”

“I wish I knew what to tell you, Gigi, but I don’t. But, we can figure out what we’re doing tonight. Do you want to leave, or do you want to keep hanging out with everyone? After the look I gave her and what I said to her, I don’t think she’ll come anywhere near you anytime.”

Gigi looked stunned. “Jan what the hell did you tell her?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Jan winked.

“I’m not going to let her ruin my night.” Gigi’s tone was determined. “Let’s go.”

–

Nicky and Jaida were awkwardly left behind in the queue. Since they were next, they ended up going on the roller coaster. Jaida had to admit, a roller coaster was a lot less fun when one of your friends was experiencing emotional trauma, even if you were in the front.

“Should we go find them?” Nicky asked as she grabbed her purse.

Jaida thought for a moment and said, “Honestly? I don’t want to make it worse. Gigi trusts Jan and I want Gigi to talk through all the emotional shit she’s feeling.”

“Good point.”

Jaida and Nicky made their way through The Backlands. Jaida knew that she had feelings for Nicky that Nicky didn’t share. Jaida also knew that every time they slept together, she felt herself falling a little harder. As much as Jaida didn’t want to break her own heart for her final summer at the park, she swore something felt different about Nicky.

As they walked, Jaida swung her hand forward making contact with Nicky’s to test her response.

“Sorry,” Nicky mumbled putting her hand closer to her side.

The response is not the one Jaida was looking for, which caused her to sigh.

Nicky slowed her pace. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Jaida forced a smile. “Just tired.”

“Gotcha.”

Jaida wondered how dense Nicky could be. Even though Jaida couldn’t be mad that Nicky didn’t return her feelings, it still frustrated her. While Jaida knew it was a horrible idea to keep going with their fling, she liked Nicky so much that she’d rather have her physically than not at all.

 Or did she?

This wasn’t healthy for her mental state. Jaida had enough on her plate already. Between writing essay after essay for law schools throughout the country as well as working six days a week, Jaida was nearing her limit. As much as she tried to tell herself that her fling with Nicky helped her decompress, she knew that wasn’t the case. It made everything much, much worse. Before she could think on it further, she was interrupted by her phone vibrating with a text from Jan.

so I honestly cant tell if gigi’s more hurt or pissed at crystal and honestly it really doesnt matter but she did say she wants to keep the night to keep going so I say let’s do it! we’re at the landing rn, where are you??

Quickly, Jaida reiterated to Nicky the situation, and texted back, Okay, good! We’ll meet you there.

The rest of the night was filled with memorable selfies, laughs that were mostly at the extent of Jan’s inability to ride roller coasters, and by the end of the night, Gigi felt great, and was determined to not let one person ruin what was already an incredible summer.  

Following National Roller Coaster Day, Jaida, Nicky, Jan, and Gigi bonded even further, and became inseparable. Through hanging out with Jan, Gigi also developed a very close bond with Jackie. Gigi never had a group of friends before, and was thankful she had such an amazing group of friends.

Gigi formed such a close bond with her friends that she all but forgot about Crystal. At times, they ran into each other in the break room, and every time, they didn’t so much as look at each other. While the environment was tense, there was never any negativity. No one was outwardly mean to each other. In fact, everyone but Gigi maintained being friendly with Crystal. Gigi couldn’t allow this to upset her, since they were all adults and could choose their friends. At times though, it did feel like a punch in the gut when Gigi was on her breaks and saw Jan stop to talk to Crystal.

One day, Gigi sat in the breakroom. As she at her lunch, Brita sat across from her.

“Hey, Brita,” Gigi greeted.

“As you know, my birthday is drawing near.”

All Brita talked about was how she was going to turn twenty one in a couple of weeks. Everyone knew it was Brita’s birthday, including people who didn’t even know Brita.

“So I’ve heard!”

“My parents are actually going to be out of town. So, I’m going to have a party. Not just any party. No, this party is going to be so big and so memorable that they’ll be talking about this like five summers from now.”

Gigi raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

Brita nodded. “I’m inviting literally everyone I know who works here…”

Gigi caught on to what Brita was saying. Even the people who weren’t well versed in what happened between Gigi and Crystal knew something was wrong. “That’s fine, Brita. I’m not going to let my relationship, or lack thereof, with someone ruin your birthday.”

“Good. It’s this Wednesday, starting at 10. That way everyone has time to get ready after work. Thank god for shortened park hours.”

The scheduling gods smiled upon Jaida, Nicky, Gigi, and Jackie. Somehow they all ended up with the same days off, one of which being Friday. It helped that Jaida always sweet talked the scheduler, and the scheduler knew who her friends were. Jaida wasn’t about using her feminine charm to get what she wanted.

The girls all agreed to get ready at Gigi’s, because she had the largest space. Getting ready with others was much more fun for Gigi than getting ready alone. Although, she had to admit it was a different feeling when she and Crystal got ready together for Heidi’s party. She forced that thought out of her head as she put on an 80’s playlist. Deciding what to wear to a party was Gigi’s favorite part of getting ready. Even if she didn’t want to admit it, she wanted this party to be the exact opposite as the previous party. Because of this, Gigi opted to wear a tight orange halter top with an blue high-waisted shorts, which was the exact opposite of her black and white outfit.

“You look like your room,” Jan teased eyeing Gigi’s room decor. 

Gigi rolled her eyes. “It’s not my fault that my two favorite colors look amazing on me.”

“Fair,” Jaida mused as she rummaged through her bag. “Shit. I forgot my eyelash glue.”

Nicky, who was sitting cross-legged on the ground blending out a smoky eye tossed hers to Jaida. “Here.”

“Thank you,” Jaida smiled sweetly expertly applying an eyelash.

Jackie looked on incredulously. “I have no idea how you do it.”

“Lots and lots of practice,” Jaida said as she batted her eyelashes in Jackie’s direction.

“Do you ever wear more than mascara and eyeliner in your waterline?” Nicky questioned, admiring her appearance in a hand mirror.

Jackie shook her head. “I just… don’t know how to do anything else. One time I tried to do wings and it looked like a drunk toddler did them. No wait, a drunk toddler would have done better.“

Jan’s face brightened. “Can I please do your makeup? Please?”

After hesitating, Jackie said, “What the hell. Why not?”

Jan squealed as she made her way over to Jackie, who was sitting in the chair at Gigi’s desk. Watching Jan do Jackie’s makeup made Gigi feel a pang of jealousy. All through high school, she’d never had the desire to date. Of course, she definitely didn’t want a boyfriend. But, she never thought about having a girlfriend either, and only knew that she liked girls. She also never had a friend group like the one she had now. She also never thought she’d have a group of friends she could trust as much as she trusted the friends she made. For once in her life, Gigi felt safe enough to come out. Other than her family, Jan was the only person who knew, and the only reason she’d told Jan in the first place was because she was about to have a mental breakdown. But, it was time. Gigi paused the playlist.

“Everything okay, Gigi?” Nicky questioned.

Gigi took a breath. “Yes, but there’s something I have to tell all of you.”

Jan locked eyes with Gigi, already knowing what she was going to say.

“What is it?” Jaida asked setting down her brush.

“I like girls.”

Jaida ran to Gigi to give her a hug. “We love you.”

Jan laughed. “Welcome to the club.”

As Gigi unpaused the music, she breathed a sigh of relief as she topped her nude lip with gloss.

“All done!” Jan announced as she brushed powder off of Jackie’s face.

Once Gigi saw Jackie, she exclaimed, “Oh, wow.”

Jackie was already an extremely beautiful girl, but Jan’s handiwork enhanced her features. Because she knew that Jackie wasn’t one for the extravagant, Jan stuck with neutrals that gave Jackie the most effortless no-makeup-makeup look. Gigi knew that Jan was a talented makeup artist, but the makeup she did on Jackie proved it, because it was the exact opposite of Jan’s colorful halo eye she did on herself.

“Holy shit! I look good.”

Jan rolled her eyes. “You always look good, baby.”

“Thank you,” Jackie said as she kissed Jan on the cheek.

“We must commemorate this momentous occasion,” Jaida said dramatically as she signaled everyone to come in for a group photo.

“You have to take it,” Nicky said. “You have the longest arms.”

Jaida rolled her eyes. “Always.”

Once there were a few photos they were all satisfied with Gigi looked at her phone. “If we need to make a liquor run, we should probably leave now.”

Everyone piled in to Gigi’s Jeep, the group was enthusiastically discussing the night ahead. On the way to the liquor store, Jaida, who was already twenty one, made a list of what she had to purchase.

“Y’all are gonna make me look like I have a drinking problem. You best be Venmo-ing me interest,” she teased.

“We don’t have interest in France, I don’t know what that is,” Nicky joked.

Jaida playfully hit her. “You’ve lived here for over ten years.”

 Nicky shushed her. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Jesus Christ, just kiss already,” Gigi teased as she pulled into the liquor store’s parking lot.

Once Jaida was inside the store, Jan spoke up. “What’s actually going on between you two?”

Nicky shrugged. “Just something for us to blow off some steam.”

Jackie hesitated. “Nicky, you realize that Jaida’s never had a girlfriend before.”

“Yeah, and?”

“She also falls really hard really quickly.”

Nicky exhaled. “She never told me that. She told me that she was good keeping it casual. She tried to bring it up a while ago, but I just thought… I feel terrible.”

“It’s not your fault, honey,” Jan said.

Before Nicky could respond, Jaida returned to the car.

“That was fast,” Gigi said.

“I’ve been to that store so many times, I know where everything is.”

Gigi had heard from other people that Brita had a large house, but she didn’t expect it to be quite so big. The driveway which was lined with cars spanned the length of most people’s front yards. The house looked to be three stories and was a modern build, which was a contrast to the other ranch-style houses in the area. The music could be heard from outside of the house, and Gigi mused about how Brita was lucky that she had no neighbors.

“Damn,” Gigi said as she shut her car door.

“Yeah,” Jaida began. “Brita’s parents are fucking loaded.”

“Clearly,” Jan said.

The inside of the house was just as grandiose as the outside. Gigi thought that it looked like the sample rooms inside of furniture stores. She didn’t realize that people’s houses actually could look like that. The living room was decorated with fairy lights and streamers, and in the corner were two gold balloons that said 21. The party was already abuzz, the entirety of the first floor was full of people, most of which Gigi didn’t recognize, and was almost certain Brita probably didn’t either.

Brita greeted them at the door, pulling them into a hug. Gigi could already smell the alcohol. “Hi, babes!”

“Happy birthday, bitch!” Jaida exclaimed handing Brita a fifth of Everclear.

Brita’s laugh was loud enough that it could be heard over the music. “You rotted bitch.”

“On our first season together, Brita drank way too much Everclear and got super hungover, and had to call out the next day,” Jaida explained. “You best be getting that drunk again tonight. If I see you at work tomorrow, I’m going to be pissed.“

“I have tomorrow off,” Brita said smugly.

“You’re going to need it,” Jan teased.

“Thanks! So over there we have a photobooth, beer pong in the dining room, the pool’s available if you want, too. Oh, and if you need a place to get down and dirty,” she looked at Nicky and Jaida. “Just don’t use my bedroom.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jaida said, rolling her eyes.

As everyone was about to explore, Brita screeched, “Wait!”

“What?” Gigi asked.

“Let’s do a shot of this.” Brita raised the bottle of Everclear.

“Oh dear, God,” Jackie said making gagging noises.

“It’s my birthday, bitches!”

Since nobody could argue with that, they went in to the kitchen. In the attached dining room, an intense game of beer pong was going down with Widow and Heidi against Crystal and some boy Gigi vaguely recognized as being one of the team leads in games. Trying to stay casual, Gigi waved to Heidi and Widow who smiled in return. Thankfully, Crystal’s back was turned to Gigi, and by the time she turned, Gigi had her back turned to take the shot.

“I’m already too drunk to pour the shots,” Brita slurred.

Jaida rolled her eyes as she took the bottle and expertly poured shots.

“To Brita!” Gigi said raising her glass.

“To Brita!” Everyone repeated as they toasted, set the shot on the table, and took the shot.

Gigi thought she was good at taking shots. But, Gigi had also never had Everclear. Convinced that its reputation preceded it, she didn’t properly prepare herself. She thought she was just taking a shot of cheap vodka, not a shot of rubbing alcohol.

“Merde!” Nicky exclaimed.

Jackie set her glass down as she winced. “That was so bad, Nicky forgot how to speak English!”

Because she couldn’t get the taste of shitty vodka out of her mouth, the only thing Gigi could do was to drink something else. The Whiteclaw Jaida bought for her tasted like juice in comparison, so much so that Gigi drank it a lot faster than she should have.

As Gigi felt the alcohol hit, Jan said, “Let’s go take pictures.”

Most of the time, Gigi found photobooths to be tacky. They were a staple of boring weddings and basic-ass graduation parties. But, because she already had a nice buzz going, she gladly posed with oversized sunglasses. 

Everyone sat on a red leather couch as they began drinking. Jan and Jackie shared a bottle of rum that they chased with Diet Coke. Jaida was chasing her Jack with ginger ale. Nicky, on the other hand, was shooting whiskey like there was no tomorrow. Gigi felt lame that everyone else wad drinking liquor but her, but she didn’t care. She wanted to enjoy what she was drinking.

When a Madonna song began playing, the girls screeched and made their way to the dancefloor. Gigi had decent rhythm, but tonight, as far as she was concerned, she was killing it. As she dropped low, she almost fell, but kept her balance as she made her way back up. While she watched Jackie and Jan dancing closely and watched Nicky grind against Jaida, Gigi couldn’t help but feel like a fifth wheel. She remedied the situation by cracking open another Whiteclaw. 

“I need a break,” Nicky announced when the song ended.

Jan whispered something in Jackie’s ear before saying, “We’ll be back!”

“May I have this dance, Ms. Hall?” Gigi asked holding her hand out.

“Oh, bitch, you know it.”

After a few songs, Gigi announced, “I’ll be back!”

It was the time of the night that Gigi needed to break her seal. Unfortunately for her, there was a line for the bathroom. She dramatically jumped up and down until she made it to the bathroom. Once she finished, she was greeted by a sobbing Jaida.

“Jaida, what the fuck is wrong?” Gigi asked leading her into a bedroom upstairs.

“Nicky,” Jaida managed.

“What about Nicky?”

“I went to go find her to see if she wanted to dance or something, but then… I saw her… and I saw Brita. On the couch… making out.”

It was very clear that Jaida had too much to drink. For a while, Gigi was convinced that this year would break the streak of Jaida getting her heart broken. Even though Gigi wanted to give Jaida some tough love and tell her she and Nicky weren’t exclusive, she knew it wasn’t the time for that. Instead, she wrapped her in a hug.

“Hey,” Gigi said stroking Jaida’s hair. “It’s okay.”

“I knew that she didn’t want a relationship. Why does this hurt so much?”

“Because you like her, clearly a lot.”

“Why does this always happen?” Jaida wailed.

Gigi knew she wasn’t good at comforting people, but decided to try her best. “I don’t know. But Jaida, your makeup is far too pretty to cry it all off.”

Hoping that Jaida would find her comment funny, Gigi tried to laugh. This only made Jaida cry harder. Fuck. Gigi knew she wasn’t any good at any of this, but she knew who was. She needed to find Jan before Jaida lost her mind.

“I’ll be back,” Gigi said leaving a sobbing Jaida in the bedroom.

Gigi searched the entire first floor for Jan with no luck. Eventually, she ran into Jackie. 

“Gigi, what the hell is happening? Jaida’s apparently crying, Nicky left… What’s going on?” Jackie demanded.

“I guess Jaida found Brita and Nicky making out.”

Jackie groaned. “Of course Because why would she be able to make it a summer without getting her pretty little heart broken?”

When Jackie and Jan made their way back in the bedroom, Jaida was right where Gigi left her.

“Do you know where Jan is?” Gigi questioned as Jackie was hugging a very distraught Jaida.

“I think she’s outside.”

“If anyone knows how to handle this, it’s her,” Gigi said as she walked downstairs.  

Gigi realized just how drunk she was as she stumbled around trying to find Jan. Eventually, she found her comforting some random drunk girl. To Gigi’s horror, the random drunk girl ended up being Crystal. 

“Uh, I need you,” Gigi said awkwardly walking to Jan. 

Jan looked at Gigi and mouthed, “Help me,” as she broke away from Crystal. “What’s up, gorg?”

Crystal awkwardly stood next to Jan, swaying back and forth. Gigi couldn’t help but wonder how much Crystal had to drink.

“It’s Jaida.”

“Oh my God, I haven’t seen Jaida in ages,” Crystal slurred.

Jan shushed Crystal. “What’s wrong with her?”

“She found Nicky making out with Brita,” Gigi explained.

Jan groaned. “This is bad.”

“That’s really not good. Are they fighting?” Crystal tried as hard as possible to not slur her speech. “Fighting is bad.”

Rolling her eyes, Jan said, “Yes, honey. Fighting is bad. Really bad.“

Crystal stumbled toward Gigi. “Gigi, I’m really sorry we’re fighting.”

Gigi ignored her. “Jan, can you do that thing where you comfort people when they’re crying?”

“I can try,” Jan said.

“Gigi! Stop ignoring me. We’re fighting! And I don’t want us to!” Crystal pouted.

“Crystal, we can discuss this when you’re sober,” Gigi said firmly.

“I’m sober enough!” Crystal said jumping up and down. She then stopped and put one hand over her mouth and one on her stomach.

“Crystal. No!” Gigi screeched.

It was too late. Crystal lost all the alcohol she’d consumed. Jan reacted quickly enough to take a step back, but Gigi wasn’t that lucky. Gigi screamed as her favorite boots became covered in vomit.

"What the fuck?!” Gigi screamed. 

[inknose]

mdzs read diary part IV, the end

It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF

dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math

chicken

he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....

IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point

this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE

This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”

ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems

it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to

I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off

doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!

ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!

I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:

I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.

god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug

HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think

aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.

- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS

- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow

- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them

- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME

- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably

[todokori-kun]

Ack

 that sounds horrible, getting sick is the worst ;-; get as much rest as you can! I really hope you get better soon<3

(omg the pics are GORGEOUS. Like, Wow. Once I’m done writing this message I’m probably going to go back to stare at them for like an hour and silently scream over how awesome everything looks)

Don’t worry about it, I admit that Stoki is pretty much a crack ship ^^;;

And, well, the redemption fic I mentioned helped me fall deeper into Stoki hell, but I shipped it even before that XD I think part of it is just because I think they could have a really interesting dynamic- they’re just so different, complete opposites. Steve would confuse Loki so much tbh

Also, I just think that Steve (or at least, post-CW Steve) might be one of the avengers most willing to at least try to understand Loki. Partly because Steve’s just a nice guy, and then because of his relationship with Bucky- ‘cause Steve-Bucky and Thor-Loki are really, really similar and I think Steve would realize that.

And then like I said, Steve cares a lot about other people. If Thor ever told him about everything that happened between him and Loki Steve probably wouldn’t have too much difficulty in starting to see Loki as a human(?) being instead of some one-dimensional fairy tale villain.

Lastly, I feel like Steve is just the best person to handle Loki’s issues. He may not be able to personally relate to a lot of it (Tony, Bruce, maybe Natasha would be better for that) but he can take a step back and think rationally about the situation, help convince Loki that just because the rest of the world sees him as a monster, doesn’t mean he has to be one.

Hopefully this made sense? lol)

yeah, that’s pretty much how I felt about it too. It was just so freaking frustrating OTL

(And yes that letter destoyed my feelings too)

btw, can I ask what you think about T'challa? He doesn’t seem to have that many fans yet but I think he’s really cool and possibly one of the more sensible people in the CW movie (once he stops being furious at Bucky). Also the trailer for his new movie is epic and I can’t wait to see his sister…

Hisoillu is bizarre (sadistic murdery Clown with no sense of fashion + sadistic murdery needle guy with dead fish eyes) but also makes a lot of sense at the same time? Like, Hisoka got away with joking about killing Killua in front of Illumi, so…yeah. They’ve got something special LOL

omg imagine.

‘Satisfied but when you fantasize at night it’s Illumi’s eyes’

'Helpless but look into Illumi’s eyes and the sky’s the limit’

'History has its Eyes on you but it’s actually Illumi’

Why do I want these memes to be a thing

With the new revelation about who Touka was visiting at the hospital, I’m beginning to have my doubts about how this will end…maybe they might actually both survive for now???

But I’m a bit miserable rn because if one of them has to die I’d rather keep Juuzou too but it seems much more likely for Touka to survive. She’s like the main female lead, plus she has Kaneki’s baby…

R.I.P Naki, the sweetest cinnamon roll who just wanted to see his big bro again ;-;

(Also: Wow, way to go Kaneki, you finally started acting like an actual leader (in a way)! But can I just say, what absolutely perfect timing)

WTH I had no idea Soul Eater’s art style developed that much???!!! That’s actually pretty amazing! (And yeah, I know that SE has some pretty complex characters and interesting stories in it :D it’s just still a lot lighter and has different themes from the mangas I usually enjoy ^^ I might try it out though!)

Death The Kid seems really cool! (does he really have OCD in canon, though? Like, I’ve seen a lot of Soul Eater fans talking like he does but idk if it’s actually a thing? Maybe I sound weird but it just seems insensitive to say characters like DTK and Levi have 'OCD’ and talking about it jokingly when it’s actually incredibly difficult and stressful for people who actully have OCD, so I’m not sure how to feel about those fans)

Yay! Gotta go and try to find that fight scene now…

Join me in my suffering. I loved L so much ;-;

(But hey, don’t be too sad (what’s this? Is Evans actually COMFORTING Queen Luna for once instead of rubbing salt in the wound?!)! There’s always the book Death Note: Another Note (The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases)- it’s a prequel to the Death Note manga/anime with L chasing a murderer known as Beyond Birthday (…no comment on that alias). It also shows how he met Naomi Misora which is awesome if you like Naomi (I did, and kinda screamed when Light kiled her))

Eh, I think I’m one of the few people who doesn’t mind it being set in America because what’s the point of making an American adaptation if it’s going to be set in Japan anyway? I also don’t really have a problem with 'white-washing’ for this same reason (though I am disappointed because being Japanese-American would have added an interesting layer to Light’s character; despite fighting for justice, in canon, LIght’s never actually been victimized or discriminated against. He’s a handsome, intelligent young man who appears to be cisgender and heterosexual (even if it’s never confirmed) and is Japanese, just like everyone else around him. Japanese-American Light, on the other hand, would have really experienced how the 'rotten’ world could hurt people, so his acts as Kira might have more personal emotion in them)…like, it’s possible to cast a white actor as Light without it being white-washing, and since they changed the entire setting I think it’s fine to change other things too. Just, I’m cool with anything as long as they portrayed Light’s character properly…BUT THEY DIDN’T SO

I’m really just disappointed that they botched the characters and all the themes of the original Death Note story so badly. Sure, change the setting, change the circumstances, change the plot, changehe designs, but why did you have to take Death Note’s philosophy away?

But, because I might have been a bit too mean:

I will say that the movie LOOKS really good. The visuals are great. The soundtrack seems decent too. Also, though Ryuk’s motivations/role also weren’t done very well, Ryuk’s actor did an amazing job…and while I’m not happy with how L was portrayed in this movie, I do think that the actor they cast for him could have been a good L if not for the bad writing.

Well…from what I know, Light Turner ends up in a hospital at the end of the movie with his One True Love Mia(Misa) dead, so nah. The Keikaku failed.

(which just proves that Light Turner really is nothing like Light Yagami, because Light Yagami’s keikakus never fail.

Until the end of the Death note manga/anime, that is.)

Yeah, I know about SU’s terrible fandom, so I’m not going to actively participate in writing fanfic, drawing fan art or making HCs/theories with other people…I’m just gonna watch the show with my sister and look at pretty fanart XD

Tysm tho!

(Question: Which character do you think you are? And what kind of gem do you think you’d be?)

Aww, I’m so happy my awkward rambling actually made you feel better??? Like. Come on. You have no idea how much our convos helped me with anxiety and stress, so I have to thank you for that too <333

(And seriously, Queen Luna is amazing.)

For most people, they start going to elementary at seven (in international age) as far as I know, and then go to middle school at around thirteen. Then high school at…um…sixteen? Maybe? I’ve never really gone to school here so I might not be 100% correct but it’s something like that ^^;;

I really wanna try Mystic Messenger but since my phone is an old flip phone…I like my phone but sometimes this can be inconvenient LOL

(I’m totally fine with messaging here, but are you really ok with it? 'Cause if you’re not, we can try to work something else out!)

hi im luna and i wanna die.

HNNNNNNNNGH have i ever told you how much i hate school?  because i freaking hate school from the bottom of my heart i can’t feel my neck anymore from the amount of studying ive been doing that’s depressing.

anyway. heartfelt advice: do not fuck your stomach up in any way, because you will suffer if you do. take it from me, i’ve managed to develop this amazing thing called Gastritis and now i cant eat anything without getting the feeling that im gonna throw it back out which is absolutely wonderful. thankfully, i don’t throw up, but it’s freaking annoying and ive lost waay too much weight already. best part? the whole reason why i have it is apparently purely psychological,  too much stress. i got it in the middle of july. HOW my mom is also being INCREDIBLY helpful by basically telling me to ‘get over it’ like i can just snap my fingers and tell myself ‘oh yeah this is only in my head’ and it’ll all pass over. cause that’s how it works.  so is my sister by always laughing at me

oook moving on.

yep, school started and i am suffering. ive already gone through 4 tests and a bunch of oral quizzes. yay. thanks teachers for totally not putting horrible pressure on us from the start.  i stg, one of my most common thoughts these days is ‘see, this is exactly why i have a psychosomatic sickness.’ they’re sending my to a psychologist to see if i can let everything out and maybe get some advice on how to handle things better. i will laugh my ass off if i get diagnosed with a mental disorder. that’d be absolutely hilarious (I am in no way trying to make fun of people with a mental disorder, I’m just saying I honestly wouldn’t even be surprised if they said something like Burnout Syndrome or Depression (im not even joking when I say that I’ve been sleeping pretty much all afternoon + night these days, cry way too often, feel no motivation for anything, feel worthless, no apetite and also occasional suicidal thoughts which is oh so fun (ok but in my defence, the thoughts are really rare, probably caused by the fact that I feel nauseous like 90% of the time, and I would never ever do it, mostly because some people would miss me (I hope). there are moments when I go ‘wouldn’t it be easier to disappear?’ tho))

sorry about that rant

MOVING ON TO HAPPIER THEMES (and proper writing):

Yeah, Norway was truly gorgeous ^^ I don’t think I’ve ever felt more at peace than then. I fell asleep in the car at one point while watching the scenery outside, and it was one of the best sleeps in my life, despite being in the car. I’m glad you enjoyed them ^^ If you want, I can upload random pics like that every once in a whole.

Aaah, that’s pretty good reasoning! It makes a lot more sense now, thanks for explaining! 

Yeah, I kinda see why you’d ship it. Steve is a pretty understanding person and, like you said, would probably understand Loki the best ^^ Recommend me some fics and I might even start shipping it myself ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I LOVE T’CHALLA THANK YOU FOR ASKING YES.  I mean, he angery™, but also freaking cool! Not to mention crazily powerful *^* I’m pretty excited for his movie, cause more badassery from him!

Wow those sound like genuine memes. Seriously why can’t i draw XD

Also HIstory has its eyes on you but it’s actually Illumi will give me nightmares.

GODAMNIT I JUST WANT JUUZOU TO BE HAPPY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?? (apparently yes)

Yep, since I have all the volumes, I like to flip through them sometimes and I’m blown away every time by the development.  I also cosplayed the main character a while ago, so it holds a high sentimental value to me. But it is a lot lighter than your usual reads, true...

Well, uh, it’s kinda hard to explain? I mean, DTK is obsessed with symmetry and will go to crazy lengths to preserve it, get mad if someone disturbs it, will jeopardise missions if he’s not sure if he left something perfectly symmetrically at home etc, but it’s not so much as a mental illness as it is a consequence of who he is (part of the Grim Reaper)? Like i said, it’s really had to explain.

Did you manage to find the fight scene?

My reaction to Death Note in general:  FUCK YOU LIGHT YAGAMI. oooh, I’ll search that manga up!

Well, I’m not so much upset about the whitewashing, more about the fact that I feel like the japanese general ideology plays a big role in why light decided to start killing bad people? Idk how to explain it... 

Oh, Japanese-American Kira would’ve been a really interesting thing to see!

Yay, at least you found some good things? Well, it’s nice that you managed that ^^

Damnit, so it didn’t go according to Keikaku! It’s all because they didn’t include the potato chip scene.

Uuh, i don’t exactly remember much of SU, but I guess I’m most similar to Pearl? I didn’t really sympathise with any characters that much tbh. As for gem. Uuuuuh *quickly googles gem meanings* ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.  I like Zircon because of the colour and alexandrite because it changes colour which is incredibly cool!

Your rambling always makes me feel better tbh. It gives me a looong message from a friend I appreciate incredibly much so, yeah, I always smile when I see a message from you (even though my replies are so slooooooooow)

Aaah, I see! That’s pretty interesting ^^ Quite different from our system.

Ah, shame, you would’ve liked the most recent route, there is so so so much suffering.

Yeah, I am 100% fine!! Don’t worry about it! The reason why I suggested something else is because on sites w an instant messaging system, my replies would probably be a lot quicker,

I AM IN LOVE WITH THE AESTETHICS, ESPECIALLY LIZZY, THAT IS GOALS

and the drawings are adorable ^^ Hide tho ;-;

[imreszekeres]

for the anon that wanted all 100

1. Name- Ash! 2. Age- 18 3. City that you live in- fear, usually 4. What do most people not know about you?- nothing really, i compulsively release useless information about myself 5. What do most people know you for?- being fat and annoying 6. Hobbies- makeup, youtubers, sleeping, writing, drawing 7. What are your passions?- writing 8. What do you search for in a significant other?- i really Really need to be understood, and someone who is patient is nice too 7. What are you most proud of?- I hav gone to State and gotten within the top 10% in my Journalism competitions, which puts me in the top .08% of all high school students in my state. :-) im good for some things 8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love?- every day when I talk to @pizzasteveofficial <3 all our conversations are significant 2 me 9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it?- I collect my tears in a jar and store them, then shower in them every night 10. List 10 things off of your bucket list.- I want to get married in the snow, have a daughter, get a Heartagram tattoo (at least one lol), write a successful book, and.. idk what else :0 11. What was the last thing you learned?- jesus I dont know, you learn sth new every day! hard to remember 12. How many relationships have you been in?- um.. 7 I think i feel like im forgetting one tho. I wont name them obvi but i think im forgetting one? i feel like ive been in 8 oh well 13. Turn ons- validation 14. Turn offs- being alive 15. Favorite food- frozen yogurt! I like the vanilla or white chocolate flavor with looots of toppings 16. Favorite drink- Coke 17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?- i dont really know! I dont remember a lot of my birthdays for trauma reasons so  18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?- pessimistic by far lol 19. Do you sleep during class?- its happened a handful of times, I try not to bc I HATE missing work its annoying 20. What is the most expensive thing you own?- myself?? jk its my laptop 21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own?- a 1 dollar ELF blending brush. yall those things are bomb please go buy some! 22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone?- that number does not exist holy shit  23. Text or call?- TEXT BLEASE I HAVE SUCH BAD HEARING 24. Opinion on long distance?- it can work! ive done it a lot of times. distance has never been whats broken a relationship for me, not directly anyway 25. What is your definition of success?- success is when you’re happy. you do not have many worries, not the kind that keep you awake at night or make your tummy sick anyway. You have people that love you and, if you died, you’d be remembered as a good bean 26. Favorite song?- right now im really diggin “Hate (I Really Dont Like You)” by the plain white Ts 27. Favorite artist?- HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 28. Celebrity crush/crushes?- Ville Valo ALWAYS lmao hes my god 29. When was the last time you read for fun?- like last month 30. Favorite flower?- roses 31. What is the best gift you could receive right now?- a plane ticket to Connecticut and like 1000 dollars 32. Any guilty pleasures?- pop... music... BUT LIKE THE GOOD KIND U FEEL? I DONT LIKE STUFF FROM THE LAST 2 OR 3 YEARs...  33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself?- my weight, and that sounds so shallow but it. is taking a toll on me. 34. What do you search for in a friend?- someone who is like me! 35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month?- not enough 36. Where did you last go other than your room/home?- school.. 37. Why do bad things happen to good people?- because life isnt fair 38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye?- what the fuck being stabbed in the eye have you ever been stabbed in the fucking eye? because i havent and i can already tell you that if my friends were talking without me and then someone stabbed me in the fuCKING EYE I WOULD BE JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE PREOCCUPIED WITH BEING STABBED IN THE E Y E  39. How many green shirts do you own?- none lol 40. Do you like anime?- sure! I dont watch it rn but i dont watch anything rn, haha 41. What do you invest the most time in?- sleeping,, 42. What was the name of the last book you read?- Rebecca :3 very gud book 43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone?- when ur main squeeze gets a hair cut and u still wanna suck their dingus u love em, thats it sorry i dont make the rules 44. Where are you most productive?- i dont.. know what this is asking lol I’m most protective over my romantic partners. As much as I’d love to say im most protective over Sarah, nothing compares to how “troll guarding his treasure” i am w/my loves.......... *eyes @my crush* 45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends.- talking shit abt rude ppl, playing vidya gaem, and talking abt life 46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone.- watching makeup tutorials, watching lets plays, and thinking about everything and anything 47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist?- absolutely not. theres too many people on the earth to achieve that 48. Do you have any allergies?- Not to anything specific but i get them really often seasonally. i get them pretty much every time the weather changes :( 49. When was the last time you cussed at someone?- i mean.. every day of my life so like 50. What was the last promise you made?- idek dude 51. What was your last dream about?- IT WAS SO WEIRD IT WAS ABOUT MY CRUSH’S MOM? I DREAMT THAT SHE WAS A DEMON WHO STORED HER EGGS IN LITTLE PORCELAIN JARS AND THAT MY CRUSH HAD AN EAR INFECTION AND WE WERE IN A SNOWY VILLAGE IDK DONT ASK ME its weird bc my crushs mom is so sweet... 52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be?- i would literally only take Sarah bc i hate everyone 53. How many countries have you visited?- ive never been outside the US 54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.)- writing :-) 56. When was the last time somebody complimented you?- those nice anons i got yesterday/the other day! 56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself?- what do u even mean? youd know bc youd be like THIS ISNT MY BODY 57. Do you consider yourself mature?- kind of, yes 58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr?- too fuckin many 59. What is your favorite quote?- “Worship Satan!” -Ville Valo (no but rly any HIM lyric is my favorite quote, theyre so beautiful,,,) 60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be?- dont hurt ppl unless they hurt u, dont touch ppl unless they want u to, and respect gender/sexuality 61. What is your greatest accomplishment?- going 2 state! 62. Do you believe in the death penalty?- yeah i actually think it should b used more lol, kill all rapists and p*dophiles :-) 63. What are your goals for life?- i just wanna b happy, man 64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now?- being a fucking idiot, probably 65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world.- CALIFORNIA LMAO IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR CALIFORNIA AND I NEVER EVEN BEEN THERE 66. What were you like in 2013?- awful but also really sweet... then again i wasnt TECHNICALLY the host so lol  67. Do you have a job?- no :( i cant drive 68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend.- she was an abusive bitch who took out her parents hating her on me the end 69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?- i would make discrimination a way more serious crime than it is taken for rn. ppl who discriminate should b put in jail 70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before?- just one when i had to install the sims and it took 6 years 71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website?- my fave website is youtube 72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?- suck a dick, i guess 73. Does money equal happiness?- not all the time but it sure can 74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime?- never, i dont think 75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime?- too many times 76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told?- you know that joke abt the blind man at the beginning of Crazy Rap? yeah thats fucking HILARIOUS  77. When was the last time you looked at the news?- this morn :0 78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say?- im gay 79. What is your favorite animal?- RACCOONS!!!!!!!!!!!! 80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it?- i mean sure lmao nobody would b upset about it so 81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at?- being a human. 82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get?- i usually go to bed at 10 and get like 6 or 7 hours 83. Does age necessarily equal maturity?- not at all! 84. What is your favorite clothing store?- hot topic lol 85. In the winter- beanies or gloves?- gloves b 86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail?- wings?? why would i want a fish tail 87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it?- absofuckinglutely.  88. What do you fear the most?- being like my rapist. thats a little too deep than i like to go but im being honest, thats literally my biggest fear Ever 89. How many digits of pi can you recite?- 3.14 lmfao i hate math 90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be?- 2004. I would stop it before it happened. :-( 91. Describe yourself in one word.- stupid 92. Describe your last victory.- i woke up today w/o killin meself 93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen?- bendytoots cucumberpitch’s face 94. What is something you will never forget?- prom.. something rly nice happened 95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail?- forget everything. please 96. Have you ever broken a bone before?- nope! 97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody?- probably harder to love them lol 98. Coffee or tea?- coffer 99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way?- I dont overdose on a constant basis in a BPD-fueled rage any more so thats good 100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today?- probably 1 or 2?

[oliviawriting12]

Letters, term 2

NOTES: Letters are between an Australian nurse and her boyfriend. The nurse is stationed in Greece during WWII. All stories are closely  based on real events. All spelling and grammar errors are intentional. Dotted lines stands for a spot blacked out by censors.

Dear Kit,

Many “thank you”s for the candy. All the gals here loved it especially the chocolates. Was a big morale-booster, too, for reasons I will explain. Before I forget could you please send some stockings as my wool ones are quite worn through. We are on our feet 12 hours a day here and they go very fast. I have put extra bandage around my heels to prevent blisters in the mean-time, and some of the other girls do it too- the 2/5th AGH makes do!  

We are currently in ------------, having been moved just a few days ago- and do I have a story to tell you. You might not believe it.  We were evacuated just recently out to ----, and were taken by car and truck to Nafplio. We weren’t told until a few hours before, Matron Best having selected 40 to go and 39 to stay. We all said our goodbyes. I had to leave darling Mer behind which was very heart-rending, altho we promised to write. We all left in the very dead of night with our little satchels and tin hats, and respirators in case of gas. On the horizon we could see the fires from the battle and I only then realised how close it had got. I was so glad to have Constance with me as I don’t think she’s ever felt fear in her life. For two hours we all stayed put in a cemetery as there was an air raid going on. We all huddled down and held hands v. tight.  It was complete blackness, made even worse by the big respirator masks which you cant see out of even during the day. I could hear the rattle of the planes overhead and the explosions but thankfully the Germans saw no use in bombing a cemetery. Still it was very harrowwing.

After another hour we  arrived to find that our transports were on fire from the raid and being deserted by the Navy men. The fires were so bright you could read a book by them. I don’t think I will ever forget the look of those bright orange flames against the black water and all the smoke coming in thick onto the harbour so you could hardly see. There were some men floating facedown in the water but it looked like most of them had gotten out O.K. They had other boats out spraying them with retardent but it wasn’t doing much yet. I dont know how long we spent on the harbour, but nobody knew what to do. It was chaos with everyone running around in the smoke trying to dredge men out of the water. We were all very scared our transport would leave. Eventually somebody found some fishing boats and Greek fishermen who would take us and we all crowded on like sardines. We went very slowly through the fires.

When we got to the destroyer it was more chaos because nobody had thought to bring the walkways the Navy boats had to get us on. We had to jump across the gap to the destroyer in our narrow skirts and tin hats, one at a time. It was like the games we used to play in the garden, jumping from the tree to the balcony, except this was in the Agean Sea with fires burning all around you and an old man barking at us to hurry up because he was worrying about the Germans coming back. Constance was the first to go of course, and she nearly didn’t make it, only avoiding the chill water because two of the Navy men caught her by the arms and hauled her up. This spooked the rest of us good but we didnt have any other near-accidents. I got across okay- all my gymnastics training doing me good, although I don’t think I’ve ever felt my knees knock more in my life. We did have one accident where Julia’s satchel was dropped in the water when we tossed it up after her. It hit the side of the boat and sunk like a stone. She must have felt badly loosing all her things but she didnt say a word.

Once we got in the boat we were all so tired from our night we were asleep on our feet. Altho the boat was rocking v. badly and cold, we all slept very well with the blankets the soldiers gave us. It was afternoon when we arrived in Crete and we all felt better for a night’s rest and some mugs of soup which was good because we were at work right away setting up the hospital tent.

Quite the harrowing event but throughout it all we did fairly well keeping calm and soldiering on, even me, which you may find hard to believe! But when you are with 39 other even-tempered women it is not so hard as you might think.

Work has been hard but no threat of air-raids like before, which is a relief. There are 50 men now and 40 nurses plus doctors etc, which you might think would work out but never seems to be enough.  Where I was emptying bedpans and mopping before now I am applying bandages and stitching, as there are less experienced nurses here. I am such a quick stitch now, which is good as we also find we are short on anasthetics often. When I first started in 1940 it was so hard seeing the young men with their burnt eyes and limbs because I would always see your face on them but now it is just like any other day. Of course one does feel but you go on so much easier. I know you wouId prefer having your leg and fighting to not & being at home but it makes me happy you are safe. I always worried you would come in wrapped in bandages even tho you were training on the airfields and I was in Greece.

Much love to you, Kit. I think of you every day & you dont need to worry about me finding a beau among my patients as they all move on too fast. As soon as this war is done I will come home to you and we can go to the movies and fool around like we used to. I hope you are getting used to the crutches.

Also since you asked I dont know anything about troop movements and besides they screen all my letters- the 2/5th goes where they move us, no use telling us plans and us going and blabbing by accident, which I could just see happening to me. So I don’t know & don’t mind. Greece is very sunny and warm but as I haven’t had a day off in 2 weeks I haven’t been swimming.

Am dead tired after a long day so goodnight.

For you x x x x x x x x  o o o o o o o o o x x x x x x x x x I love love love you Kit Gwendolyn

PS Dont forget stockings!

Dear Gwen

I hope you like the stockings. They’re made of fine wool so they should not be too scratchy. I sent some candy too, although they were sold out of liquors at Corris’s, so I got lollies and chocs. Your letter has been passed around to all my relatives as they were all astounded at your story and you will likely be asked to retell it many times when you return. Also enclosed is a drawing from Charlie of Gwen jumping onto the boat. He asked me to read the letter may times, which I did.

The crutches are going as well as expected. I’m still very clumsy and Aunt Mary makes me practice hopping around in the garden as I knock her lamps and things when I’m indoors.

Sometimes I forget it’s gone and then I remember. Just this morning I woke up and swung out of bed and nearly fell, forgetting my left leg is gone at mid-thigh and wasn’t there to catch me. And sometimes if I sit still I swear I can feel my foot. I notice it the most when I’m going out in town because people stare. I guess all your hard work with the soldiers will get you used to amputees so you won’t mind. I won’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt when people are frightened, although a lot of people are very respectful. Just yesterday when I was going out with Mary for groceries a man shook my hand. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had never seen any action. I feel a real fool about it, spending two weeks in training trudging in the mud and then going home right away after an aeroplane accident, without being any use. All the fellas are off fighting and here I am. Well, everyone except Jim, who can’t go on account of his diabetes. He told me one time he wishes he was missing a leg so people wouldn’t hiss at him on the street thinking he’s a coward. That made me pretty mad & we haven’t talked in a little while. So it’s just me and Aunt Mary and Charlie mostly.

I wish I could work but I’m still in the recovery period so I’ve been watching Charlie at home while Aunt Mary works. She’s got a new job making bullet cartridges and will bring defected ones home for Charlie to play with, which he loves. Money is tight as she’s got me to look after and it will be some time before I can get a job, but we don’t need to worry about toys for Charlie because he’s got his cartridges. He stands them up in big rows and knocks them down. I never knew how much energy a little boy could have till I started spending time at home. Usually in the morning I’ll read and he’ll run around and amuse himself, and in the afternoon I’ll take him over to a friend’s or we’ll go into town. I still get tired fast so we can’t do as much as either of us would like. On Tuesday we played Chinese Checkers and he beat me. He’s a smart kid. On Wednesday we didn’t play any games because we were too occupied with your letter.

I know you don’t like it when I pester but I worry about you all the time. I hope you still have the photo I sent you & I hope you won’t forget me. I know it isn’t patriotic but I wish you could come home. I’m glad you’re further from the front lines these days, as the thought of you working with shells whistling over your head makes me go out of my mind. It’s funny that I hope you won’t have any more emergencies like the one you told me, but at the same time it was so exciting to read. I hope you’re doing O.K., you sound so tough. I love you and I can’t wait to see you again.

All my love, Kit Love from Charlie and Aunt Mary too

Dear Kit

Thank you and bless you for the stockings they are lovely! Am no longer traipsing around in little bits of bandage. And the candy was lovely, I gave a little to all the girls. Tell Charlie I have the drawing up by my bunk and look at it when I go to sleep.

Thankfully there has not been any more “exciting” emergencies. We have been here two months now and it is going fine. I got a day off last week and went into -------- with Constance on bycycles. We dont know a word of Greek and had to talk through hand gestures when we went to get some lunch. As a result I got some funny cheese dish I didnt want but it was just fine in the end. It has been sunny for weeks now and hardly any rain so it is getting dusty and all the army trucks send up big clouds. It is a job keeping the dust out of the hospital tents. The 39 others we left behind have arrived and so I am reunited with Mer! Although now many more patients are coming in and we are too swamped to chat. The battles in Greece seem to be getting bad and I dont know how long it will be till we are moved again. I can’t see the shells like I could in Greece but if the men cant hold their positions we’ll go with them. Word has it it might be to ----------- next. Will see! It sounds like a good time, we could see all the ---------------------- --------- ------------------------------ --------------------------- -----------.  

Another thing- for the past week I’ve been changing the dressings of a soldier from Yamba.. I told him I was from MacLean myself. Isn’t that interesting. We get on well although he isn’t a match for you, Kit dear. I come and talk to him at nights because I haven’t been sleeping well.  He’s called Herb and he told me about the what it’s like fighting in the towns and I told him my own story, with the boats which suprised him a lot that a nurse had come so close to combat. He was the wireless operator on a tank and he was in for gunshot wounds, one in his stomach which is pretty hard to get over, and the other in his leg. He said the Germans fight dirty so now everyone does too. He got shot when they were getting out of the tanks at night to get supplies, some Germans hid and fired on them when they got out. He says the Germans don’t surender anymore when you capture them because everybody just shoots each other now, and even goes at the Red Cross trucks. The Germans started shooting prisoners and they got so mad they started doing it back. He can’t wait to get back to action because he spent so long in training to work on a tank and he doesn’t want to waste away on the hospital bed. His good friend Will who was the gunner was killed by the Germans the same night and he wants to get back in the tank for him. He didn’t die right away but bled out on the ground before the medics got there. He spends ages tapping Morse codes to himself to make sure he doesn’t forget.

I don’t know if its fair to kill prisoners but if the Germans started it first I guess I understand. I remember when I started I was so suprised just to see a man who had been shot in the back but I got over that pretty quick. I guess when you’re all out to kill each other there aren’t any rules. Maybe don’t read Charlie this part.

I hope you can get to work again soon, although I’m sure Mary and Charlie will miss you at home. Dont feel so bad about not seeing any action as lots of fellas get hurt in training and its nothing to be ashamed of. Soon you can get an office job and keep helping the war effort. You have such nice printing and you did so well in school I’m sure you can get a real nice job. I’m the one with the bad speling, which is why I’m the nurse!

Thinking of you and saying a prayer every night for your poor stump! Love you love you write me Gwendolyn