#I suddenly had a vision of Akaza serving his time in hell and then being reincarnated as a male nurse

[demonslayedher]

Currently having a crisis over how Keizo and Koyuki died bc the dojo next door tried to hide their killing intent by poisoning their water well, while Akaza died (or rather willed himself to die) when he fought two water breath users, one of which used Transparent World to hide his killing intent. Thoughts? (or any thoughts on akaza really)

I realize the crisis may be over by now for it has taken me so long to respond to this Ask. u_u;; While thinking about it in terms of battle mechanics I initially saw this in pretty basic terms—in the Taisho Secrets, we know that the heir to the neighboring dojo had a personal vendetta and hearing about Hakuji and Koyuki’s engagement set him off, and it seems it was a pretty purposeful wait for Hakuji to be absent so they’d have the chance to poison the well. Rather than hiding killing intent, which Hakuji would have only had a normal human martial artist’s aptitude for detecting, it was probably more a tactical matter of avoiding being seen. Hakuji was a protector, though, he might have been especially sensitive to threats to those he loves, and this may be why he gained such a keen ability for sensing these things once he becomes a demon. He was clearly taken by surprise by Tanjiro’s sudden ability not to emit a Battle Sense at all, which spelled a big part of his undoing.

But that’s not actually what killed him, and my thoughts have gone more into how Akaza willed himself to die. This is one of the very, very rare moments in his existence when he’s gotten to act on his own will and decisions. While he only underwent punishments when he was caught for robbery as opposed to being locked up in a prison, he was usually imprisoned in more metaphorical ways.

Being poor wasn’t a choice, but young Hakuji was willing to undergo anything as long as it was for his father. However, his father’s suicide was a denial of those choices. He stripped Hakuji of what meaning he thought his life was supposed to have, forcing him to live differently—as in, to not commit crimes for the sake of his dying father.

Though it no longer carried meaning, Hakuji continued living a criminal life, accepting that he was an “oni child” like he was always called, until Keizo overpowered him and made a decision for him, that Hakuji should be reformed. Furthermore, since Keizo was much stronger, Hakuji couldn’t argue with being put to work as Koyuki’s caretaker. Hakuji did settle happily into this life, he wasn’t exactly looking for freedom from it or anything like that, and his criminal markings were already going to limit a lot of his potential in life.

Being used to not having much say in the course his life takes, due to poverty or criminal history or simply being weaker than Keizo, following the course that others set for him doesn’t cause him much anguish because that is the norm. However, a stunning thing happens one day when Keizo gives him a choice. Would he like to marry Koyuki and inherit the dojo?

Hakuji never imagined he’d be faced with such a proposition. By the text he’s more stunned that they could be so welcoming to a criminal like him and that Koyuki would ever love someone like him, but by Koyuki’s reactions we see that she’s nervous that he’ll reject her, and she and Keizo are hugely relieved when he accepts. Hakuji has the choice fully within his power, to take that as his life’s course or reject it.

Unfortunately, sometimes choices continue to be taken away against your will. Hakuji goes into “mad dog” mode again after losing those he’s sworn to protect, and then even Muzan turns him into a demon, there was no proposition. Hakuji was in the process of telling him to get lost when Muzan stabbed him with his cells curiously wondered if Hakuji would have what it takes to survive it. There was no asking if he wanted to be a demon, and although Hakuji quickly gave up because he just didn’t care anymore, he had zero opportunity to say “no, I would rather remain a human and atone for failing to protect the people I love, and then staining their reputation by using my fists to kill people.”

Being a demon and training, for Akaza, is like when he’d go ballistic after losing his loved ones. It’s like a self-numbing behavior, and with only this desire to be strong to replace every painful memory, it’s no wonder he got obsessed. It’s not as if he could talk back to Muzan if he wanted, he continues following the course someone else set him on. Muzan lets him do as he pleases to some extent, but Akaza is still ultimately under Muzan’s thumb.

(We could dive into this lack of choice a little more by poking fun at Akaza for how everyone he proposes demonhood to says “no” while Kokushibo and Douma seem to have to trouble at convincing anyone. Haha, poor Akaza. But that’s perhaps pushing this a bit.)

Akaza does have willpower. It’s very strong, and he’s used it to hone himself this whole time, for lack of being able to do anything else with it, really. No goal to strive for, no one to use his strength to protect, being strong is only for the sake of training and getting stronger still. It’s telling that the effect of his willpower against himself is so strong that he can convince his flesh to repair itself even with his head gone, but he finally starts to crumble once he’s faced with how hollow that cycle is.

And what started it that crumbling process?

Giyuu’s declaration about protecting Tanjiro. There was a little earlier interruption from Keizo due to Tanjiro saying familiar things, but this is the point at which Akaza’s memories really start to climb their way back in, and the whole cascade starts flowing once Koyuki presses and presses him about W H Y he’s so insistent about being strong: it’s so that he can bring medicine home to his father, duh.

Even as he’s seeing all the flashbacks, he’s still trying to distance himself from them, call them stupid, he refuses to be weak, he’s even mostly built his head back until Tanjiro forces more memories of Keizo back at him, sending him back to a moment when he was given a chance to be reborn.

This is when Akaza finally realizes that the person he’s wanted to defeat all this time was himself, the guy who failed to live up to his father’s wishes, and who sullied Keizo’s teachings by using his “protecting fists” to murder people.

And this is the “aha” moment when Akaza chooses to free himself.

It’s not a matter of committing suicide out of shame, but of accepting his comeuppance. He accepts that he was defeated fairly the moment Tanjiro caught him off-guard earlier and sliced off his head, and he wants to face hell with some amount of bravery and pride.

Muzan does tempt him to stay and still prove how strong he can be, but in the end, Akaza takes his destiny into his own hands, and makes the choice to go with Koyuki.