#I think it came out p rad but honestly it's been ten hours in the final stretch so I can't judge anymore

[mxgriswold]

Preview of my work for Gravity Falls Wayfaring Strangers zine! All these previews are looking so great, I can’t wait to see it all in one place.

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[firesong-writes69]

My New York Comic Con Experience (Or the time I called in Gay to Class)

Whew. Thank you all for your well wishes and excited messages the other day, cheering me on as I traveled to the NY panel! I was a mess but talking with you all helped keep me sane for the most part. I have So. Much. To. Tell. You! 

(Prepare for a really long, rambling mess of a post, but by now you all are used to the things I upload on this blog, haha! :p) 

So, here goes. I spent the night before packing for the day, and I suppose I over-packed, bringing two water bottles and a whole sandwich for lunch. And a packet of gum. And like, a dozen protein bars. I read online that it’s always good to bring your own food to these types of conventions because it can get EXPENSIVE. Not to mention, for those of you who have social anxiety like I do, waiting on line with a bunch of other hungry people is nerve-wracking. But at least I got to share the protein bars with my traveling buddies, so that was nice. 

I’m only ten minutes away from New York by train, and a round trip ticket costs $8 dollars. I’m glad I took the train and not the bus because when I looked out onto the main route to NY, there was bumper-to-bumper traffic. Having been born in New Jersey I’m used to this, but I know for someone who came from the South it would have been hard to handle. Pro tip for traveling on trains: always ask the train conductor before getting on if it goes to your appropriate stop. Beware of express trains, sometimes they completely miss it. Also, don’t stand in the middle of the hallway between the door and the next car while the train is moving, it’s fucking terrifying bro. 

So there I am, ready to go with my fully-packed backpack and on my way. I pull out my phone and decided to tell you all that I’m almost there, typing “New York Comic Con: Or Bust!!!” and guess who fucking reblogs it. @hotladypants had me shook for the entire ride. It was great. 

It wasn’t hard to find my way to the Javits Center because I just followed the crowd of people in cosplay, and made it there on time. Whenever you go to a big convention, don’t be shy to ask the people in uniform questions. They’ll help you if you’re feeling lost/overwhelmed. There’s also a quiet room at Comic Con to hang out in if you need a break--which is smart. I was told that it’s going to be an hour wait before the Javits Center opens so I relaxed on line, talking with the people around me and admiring how cool everyone looked in their costumes. A family of Pikachu’s walked past, Max and Chloe from Life is Strange blessed me with their awesome selves, a young family from Texas dressed up as Star Wars characters (the mom was Rey, the kid was Yoda, and the grandmother was Kylo-Ren, I WISH I TOOK PICTURES) and a couple dressed up as workers from the company Cinnabon. But I had a good time waiting. The kid taught me about Star Wars, when I painfully admitted that I haven’t seen a single movie, but he was gracious and told me what a lightsaber was. 

When I finally made it onto the main floor, my mouth dropped open at the GIANT ASS RWBY POSTER HANGING. Like, holy fuck. it looked glorious. I then contacted @nootvanlis and asked her if she was there, and I excitedly hurried down to 1A24, where the panel was, and met her! I can confirm she’s a beautiful person and so nice. I introduced myself as “mynameisnikki” and she recognized me, haha! :’) Hanging out with her was @princesshollis, who is also super rad. I had a fun time talking with them both and we all shared stories as we waited to get in. 

There were two panels going on before Carmilla’s, so I don’t remember much of them. I took a cat nap. Is anyone a fan of the movie Die Hard? :/ 

When creampuffs started to pour into the room I started to grow nervous and excited. There was so much energy and love in that room and I couldn’t help but look at everyone with awe, struggling to believe that like, holy fuck... this was going to happen. This was happening. I made it. 

Why didn’t anyone tell me that your heart was going to stop when you saw Elise and Natasha for the first time? That you felt like you couldn’t breathe? That you see your life flashing before your eyes, you are suddenly blinded by how beautiful they both are? I swear I fell over on my chair the moment they ran in, holding hands, and I was already crying. Did anyone else notice the halo surrounding them both or was it just me? I was probably so hyped I was hallucinating. 

I was sitting in the front row next to Gabi and Linds, and I didn’t fully register that I was in Natasha’s direct line of sight until AFTER the panel. I was so in shock by both of their beauty that I couldn’t remember where I was. Or how to speak English. They usually have that affect on people, right? Like I’m not the only one? 

I wish someone told me that trying to stay calm during a panel was easier said than done. My hand had a mind of its own, shaking like a fucking leaf, and I felt bad because I needed someone to hold it the whole time! I now finally know what everyone’s talking about when Elise and Natasha have their “moment”. The way they look at each other. Smile at each other, like no one else is in the room. “Oh, there are other people here.” Says Natasha, and the noise that came out of my mouth WAS NOT HUMAN. MY EYES WERE BLESSED. 

Another wild thing that happened was I think Natasha noticed I was on the verge of either falling onto the floor and dying or crying of laughter, and I caught her staring at me for a solid two minutes. Feebly, I gave her a weak smile and something between a wave/thumb up, AND SHE FUCKING WIGGLED HER EYEBROWS AT ME. LIKE BABE. YOU KNOW I’M ABOUT TO HAVE A PANIC ATTACK WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. GAAAH. 

When it came time for audience Q and A’s, I’m not sure what came over me. All I knew was that I wanted to say something, anything, and if I didn’t I would never forgive myself. So I ran over to the mic so fast, which I am certain I time traveled because no way do I ever move that fast in real life. I’m glad I had my folder in my hand and I was ready to give them my present. 

There was so much I wanted to say. I wanted to say, “Thank you, Carmilla. Thank you for giving me a home.” BUT I ENDED UP RAMBLING ABOUT HOW GAY I AM LIKE AN IDIOT. WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME THAT ASKING A QUESTION TO YOUR FAVORITE HUMANS WAS LIKE GOING FOR A JOB INTERVIEW??? Oh my god, now all of you are going to see how I fumbled at the panel. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to take up so much time, honest! I’m just glad I remembered about the gift I wanted to give and anxiously blurted out, “I have something to give you!” And Elise excited said, “Yeah, we’ll take your art!” I think I peed myself. And I think I repeatedly said, “Oh my god. Oh my god. I’m going to cry.” But I don’t remember, it’s all just a giant blur in my head right now XD Natasha was so excited to have it, guys. She told me, “I’m looking forward to reading this. Thank you so much! Come to the meet and greet later so I can talk to you, okay?” 

.... 

..... 

Natasha is a fucking gift. A GIFT. 

I walk back to my seat in a daze, and everyone is cheering, and I just turn to Gabi and repeatedly asked, “WHAT JUST HAPPENED?”  and, “DID I JUST DO THAT.” 

I was a mess. A hot, blubbering mess. But it was... oh my god, it was honestly the greatest experience of my life. I waited on line for the meet n greet, still an emotional mess, but everyone was so warm and welcoming and comforted me, which I appreciated so much! I felt like I seemed more calm and collected when I finally went up to them and said, “I’M SORRY I DON’T HAVE A COHERENT MIND RIGHT NOW BUT I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH SORRY FOR BEING A MESS BEFORE.” And Natasha assured me that everything was fine, and she said, “Thank you for sharing your story with us. That was very brave.” And you want to know what I fucking said? 

“Yeah, no. That’s totally cool man.” 

.... *repeatedly slaps head* 

If anyone needs me, I’ll be over in the corner. Crying in gay. Wearing my pride flag. Wishing that I could relive yesterday over and over. Thank you, Carmilla. Thank you for everything.