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theintrovertbean · 2 years

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Hellooo it's me again 😼

I wanted to request.

Nadia with a *drumroll* Lucio's sibling mc 🤨

I want to know what you think about it, like if mc told her since the beginning or later on the route, what would be Nadia's reaction, will she trust them right away?Nadia didn't remember them because yk

It would be more fitting to do headcannon

Anyways

Thanks for keeping Nadia's tag alive and well fed 🤧♥️

-🦭

Hello, Anon! It's nice to hear from you again. I hope you're doing well!

Now that was a request that I probably enjoyed way too much. My imagination went wild.

I believe that this MC is younger than Lucio. They could have been around 5-10 years old (possibly a year or two older) when Lucio made his first deal, so they were old enough to remember him but not old enough to actually do something about it.

Morga definitely didn't plan on having another child after popping out a goat, so MC was an accident that turned out a lot better than expected. Big brother Lucio definitely bullied his little sibling, and he was also extremely jealous of them for being everything their mother wanted in a child.

I also think that Lucio tried to kill MC too, but they were a sturdy little cutie (strong enough to endure a harsh winter) and survived. And now, they're hungry for revenge.

Thank you for this request, Anon, I really enjoyed it. Writing and posting Nadia content is my pleasure, and I'm just hoping that my creations are worthy of her tag 😂

Also, I kept this writing more on the general side, but if the public desires, I think I could write something bigger and more romantic 👀 Or anything else you want about these two, really.

I'm rambling so much omg.

Nadia with an MC who is Lucio's sibling

When MC arrived at the palace uninvited, Nadia first didn't want to let them in (it's kinda understandable because MC is probably a big and strong person with a German name like Freitag -> it means Friday in German. Montag is Lucio's name, which means Monday, and Monday sucks, but MC is cool, so yeah, Freitag.) She told the guards to make them go away, but it was useless. The stranger pushed through the wave of guards and barged through the palace doors. No one could stop them from meeting the Countess of Vesuvia. They were powerful and a little forceful, but they claimed that they had good intentions and wanted to help with the investigation.

And Nadia could really use some help in solving her ex-husband's murder, so she accepted their offer. But she had a few conditions herself. First, she made it clear that in Vesuvia, she was the boss lady and that MC would have to wear more appropriate clothes from that point. Animal fur just wasn't in style there.

During their first dinner together, Nadia took a good look at MC while they ate. They looked familiar, and they strangely resembled the former Count of Vesuvia. (Except for the hairline. MC's looked a lot better.) Still, their blonde hair, sharp yaw, wicked smile, and those silver eyes that haunted her every night were enough to stir some worries inside Nadia. And with an intuition like Nadia's, it was easy to become suspicious, but she couldn't tell for sure.

The next day, MC gazed at the strange painting in the Countess' salon, mortified by how anyone could portray their mother like that while waiting for Nadia's arrival. She was fashionably late, of course. When she arrived, she told MC that they were to visit Lucio's wing.

And oh boy, was it dramatic.

Lucio spoke to MC and Nadia in his creepy ghost voice.

"Noddy, I see you have finally taken an interest in your in-laws! How kind of you to bring them here! Did you come here to mourn me, little MC? Tell me how much you've missed your big and handsome brother!"

MC would reply something like this: "In my eyes, you've been dead since the moment you betrayed our family. And now, I will make sure you stay that way, Montag."

Nadia's eyes widened in horror, but she did her best to remain calm. Everything made so much sense. When it comes to being a leader, MC was everything Lucio thought he was. They were a provider, the protector of their people, and a true hunter. The best from their clan.

When they left Lucio's wing, Nadia brought up the topic and asked MC to explain everything to her. MC told her how Lucio made a deal, killed their father, and attempted to murder their mother and MC, unsuccessfully. With Lucio gone and MC being a much better version of him, MC became the official heir of the Scourge of the South. When Lucio found out, he probably tore out his hair, and that's the reason behind his hair loss.

Morga was the person who sent MC, her only worthy child, to Vesuvia. Their goal was to track Lucio down and do whatever it took to stop him and the plague, even if that meant killing him. Morga had to stay at home to take care of her people, and MC was more than willing to go.

And well, MC didn't really have to tell Nadia that they're Lucio's sibling since he revealed it himself. They only had to confirm it, which they did with absolute honesty, and Nadia appreciated it.

Trusting MC was a different issue, tho. Nadia wanted to trust them, but with Lucio being their brother, she had every reason not to. This MC had to work a little harder to earn her trust, which they did, possibly a lot sooner than expected. MC worked incredibly hard and managed to prove to her how different they were from their brother at every chance they got. Nevertheless, they had a very good reason to be there, and since they shared the same goal as Nadia, she gladly partnered up with them for the investigation.

At some point, they definitely had a little chat, and MC shared all the embarrassing and terrible stories they had of Lucio.

Monty definitely held a nasty grudge against MC, so I doubt that he told Nadia about them during their marriage. Maybe she knew about their existence, but of course, she couldn't remember them. If Lucio did tell a bit about them to Nadia, he probably did his best to make them seem like a total bitch.

Nadia respects MC's leading abilities, and she would be happy to let them help her rebuild Vesuvia. And train the guards. MC found them too soft.

And now we shall imagine MC and Lucio having a lovely sibling argument in German while Nadia is sipping tea in the background. She's definitely smiling behind her cup.

Monty, du verwöhnter Idiot!

I only speak a little bit of German. Please don't come at me if I wrote that incorrectly

#arcana nadia #countess nadia #the arcana nadia #arcana #nadia satrinava #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #lucio arcana #arcana lucio #lucio morgasson #montag morgasson #this mc is a badass

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incarnateirony · 10 months

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I do find it funny how few, very very few, people ever truly understood Zenthus. Maybe players back in the original campaigns circa early 2000s until about 2007, that watched him as he became who he was, but the following 15 years was a mix of people just not finding the right answers, or making the right builds, or looking for the right things, or just goddamn not listening.

I ironically ran into it with of all things another GM, because he plays "god" but got ultimately fucking rickrolled without even trying, no spells ever fired, nothing. And then I got "uwuwuuwuwuw Zento was such a manipulator"

I mean, dude, he already turned down one object you offered him you shouldn't. Whether that was pure goodness of intent or paranoia of getting bound by another ring is up to interpretation, but he didn't have to sit there playing shinto priest giving God some fucking therapy on how not to be a shitty person while clarifying the exact nature of his entrapment. You knew he has internal issues of being compelled, you know what he deals with. You brought him in even when he directly disadvised it to your face, and then quite literally handed your supposed "friend's" entire blueprint to the orphic egg they're surviving in, in chaos, with a casual question just because you felt the most moderate pressure from his kid attacking you. That, or you were a lot more put out and scared than letting on of those attacks, cuz, "The blueprints, do you have them?" HERE YOU GO, AND YOUR GIFTED WORLDS WORST DAD MUG

Continued conversation. He is LITERALLY advising god, entirely truthfully, on how to fight his son. Like yes, we raised Kion, this is how he thinks, because this is what we would do, stop impulse reacting, he is doing everything he can to make you react. We literally thrive on making you impulse react and start slipping up. Stop being so confident he's acting from incompetence either, three times in the last two minutes you declared something only to get hit remotely in the godly face to the point of verbal surprise or impress. Stop it. He's targeting your creation because you're hiding, not because he thinks you're there. And he will continue to target your creation until you do something about it.

But the further he got advised on the situation the more freaked god* got and deadass like killed himself to remove himself from the cycle to stop perpetuating this bullshit that set Kion off to begin with and Zento just walks out with everything.

Like. that wasn't even manipulation dude, he was entirely honest with you top to bottom, and even stopped you from the suicide route earlier but when you decided to do it again it's like, fine whatever, okay, genuinely makes my life easier, do you, and he did.

Zento is *dangerous* but he is not, actually, actively manipulative. *Zenthus* is even extremely honest, though that personality IS manipulative. But Zenthus can jack Zento, and you said you understood when the change happened so like. no dude that's just loose lips sink cosmic ships. Zenthus crawling out to yoink the map should be none surprise, Zento even warned you three times three different ways.

That doesn't mean Shea had the right idea either to like, love him better. That also doesn't work, Zenthus still has too much unadulterated control when he wants. Or trying to force my hand into some easy slay arrangement of the bad half for reasons like, no. No we aint doin this.

God's player often talked about God's Cry For Help but would rather be uwu Zento is manipulator because i did a bad than realize, Zenthus' entire existence is Zento's 20+ RL year cry for help nobody's ever card enough about to figure out how to answer, and everyone gets too pissed at Zenthus to address, and everyone loses their shit and doesn't know how to fix it. These folks now aren't even pulling punches, fuck breaking his phyllactery, they're facing his full true self and all his parts and memories and forms and sublords like Zom and Ex head on and tactically, flushing out the pain and insanity driving not just him but compelling men beneath the surface for ages.

And damn has Noiz observed a lot. Like. Khyla actually sat and talked with Zento while everyone talked of him as the irredeemable asshat, which isn't true unto itself. Just like morning tea with a quiet sage with a strange sense of humor before realizing, "oh my god, this guy is playing cat and mouse with his own knowledge and himself".

Len has sat in the serpent's lair more than once now, and even gotten Zento's attention in strange ways, even if mostly through Zenthus masque. Sesh has absolutely broken down what's screwing his kid up so bad to keep everyone straight.

like noiz even learned the speech patterns for them with a QUICKNESS. Like. Nono Zento is the weeb part because he's an eastern dragon, but also has strange leaks of genuine habits, like "Ehhhh" in thought, and other drawls. Zenthus does not allow that staggering, and retains VERY little of Zento's far east influence beyond sort of kidnapping a reflection of him for figure. A few of the speech ticks like "ne/yes?" remain, mostly because elvish mimics that and was recent history. And sometimes they really are in concert together, and that itself has an identifiable tone, as does the Void compelling him at times, or at least the behaviors that rise from him. Noiz broke that shit DOWN. But does not understand how RARE that is.

The GM had even missed it and he knew me for almost the whole damn time. "Oh Zenthus hides Zento well" no the fuck he doesn't, he changes between voice, dialect, tone, has even told you "I have a gnat of my own (in my head)", has switched between addressing his own takes like "It's funny you would say mortals would think that. He DID." about--himself? Bro he aint hiding shit. He tells you again and again and nobody listens to how he communicates even when he literally sits down and has a 2 hour talk advising god, god just. ok i'm die now. He is literally walking around holding a stick with his two halves in front of everyone all the goddamn time what the fuck are you talking about hides Zento well. Noiz had a character talk to him for like 5 minutes and fucking picked it up, why do normal people suck at this

No. he needs to be let go, but he needs to be replaced first. But people need to make sure when he's replaced, Zenthus doesn't hitch a ride on the new vessel. Mythology reasons make it Real Fuckin Bad to delete Zento without a backup plan so it's time to think. and damn noiz been thinking

bro, mads buddy, I love you, but I don't want to hear about God's Unheard Cry For Help While He Openly Insults The People Reaching To Him Or Even Makes Their Lives Worse The Three Times Anyone Tried, in a new plot thread, when this guy has been wearing his shit on his sleeve for ages and nobody listens. He told YOU and you did jack schitt, and even failed to inform your supposed friend you sold out the blueprints of about the fact that you know, you need to have something to replace Zenthus' function if you want reality to be able to observe itself. Do they have one? Yes. It would have been nice for god to tell them that before seppuku, but whatever. Zento's been begging to be heard for almost a quarter century in real life and finally one motherfucker got set on fixing it hell or high water because the player fell in love with Zenthus' son as their favorite blorbo and He Must Be Saved. But not like my ex wife's hackass romance, no. I'm talking busting ass, complex character sheets, math, large scale tactics on orders of operations to neuter him and so on. Your super great god had every chance to listen to someone ELSE'S cry for help and save his own friend but you deuced out under moderate pressure and embarrassment. So yeah I don't wanna hear about babygod's cry for help of his own self entrapment lmaoooo

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midnightstargazer · 6 months

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Spoilers for the new chapter of my fanfic Reborn from the Ashes.

Hope nobody was too attached to Talia Travers.

I'm not a big fan of the "forced to join the Death Eaters" trope. Generally, it's used to absolve characters who canonically are Death Eaters of responsibility or guilt, which in my opinion makes the story less interesting.

I went that route a little bit with Theodore Nott in one of my fics, and I implied in another one that Hestia Carrow did something unpleasant to her left arm in a desperate attempt to make sure the Dark Mark wouldn't end up there. But in general, I tend to assume Death Eater characters became Death Eaters voluntarily.

Which is relevant for this series because it's very Regulus-centric, and at this point it's ex-Death Eater Regulus who's evolved into a pretty decent person over the years. But even now, when he's helped destroy two Horcruxes, given tons of information to the Order, and is on good terms with Sirius and Andromeda, there's that aspect to his backstory where he did willingly join the Death Eaters and did horrible things for them.

And then there's Talia Travers. She's his student now that he's teaching at Hogwarts, so he feels a sense of duty to look out for her. He remembers her as a child whose early years at Hogwarts overlapped with his later ones. Her dad's a Death Eater, but she shows him her arm, no Dark Mark. Claims that her father was trying to force her to join and that she's relieved the war ended when and how it did.

A pure-blood Slytherin who's not a Death Eater, who he remembers as an innocent kid. She's exactly the sort of person he'd be inclined to feel sympathetic towards.

He wants to believe her.

He does believe her.

Reg, sweetheart, I don't know how to break this to you, but you just might be the world's most gullible Slytherin.

In all honesty, though, she had to be lying. She had to be loyal to Voldemort. She had to be trying to figure out if there was a way to bring him back.

Why?

For the same reason the Death Eaters Regulus liked best when he was on their side all either died during the war or ended up in Azkaban, and with one exception never regretted the side they chose.

Because whether or not Regulus Black likes you is not an indicator of morality or redemption arc potential, and it wouldn't be very realistic if it was. Not to mention, it would be far too easy if changing sides didn't mean ending up on the opposite side from people he used to like/respect/care about.

Because I tend to think redemption arcs are stronger when they're juxtaposed with other characters who really are just bad people and aren't interested in changing.

Because the general direction the series is heading in is all about changing the trajectories of Slytherin House and the Black family, but that doesn't mean every individual character is going to be cool with that.

And because Regulus is a flawed person and not always a great judge of character. Even several years after leaving the Death Eaters, he's still not. Yes, this is a super self-indulgent story that is definitely headed towards a happier ending for a lot of characters than what actually happened in canon. But it can't just be Regulus having all the answers and easily putting everything right. He's got to be wrong about some things, and trusting Talia Travers is one of those.

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: What it is, right, your twin left her coat at CG earlier & it's my neck if it's not back in her hands by me next shift Jimmy: pass it on Janis: Hmm Janis: Are you sure you've got the right person here? Jimmy: Grace Cavante is your sister isn't she? One of Janis: Unfortunately Janis: No doubt she'd rather you gave it to her yourself and that feeling is mutual, like Janis: Get a clue, lad Janis: couldn't be less obvious 'less she left her knickers Jimmy: Stop your chatting, a sec Jimmy: nowt's mutual that's why I'm asking you to get it, not her Jimmy: The resale's nowt either, I had a look Janis: You're in my inbox? Janis: Knew you were lost Janis: Poor Gracie, first you pie her then you call her cheap, gutted Jimmy: I've been round your family tree about 4 times Jimmy: Can't call myself lost Jimmy: You gonna grab this or nah? Janis: Unlucky, but I ain't gonna cry for you Janis: Wrong twin, again like Janis: What's in it for me? Already told me I can't flog it Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: well I'd shout you a muffin but if you're anything like her, I'll be the one eating it when you don't & I'm watching my figure meself Jimmy: guess the pleasure of my company works if you are? Janis: Tell you ain't from 'round here Janis: No 🍀 Janis: Nothing like her Jimmy: sounds more like my luck's finally in Jimmy: got enough stalkers Jimmy: more than I've done shifts Jimmy: what you want then, other twin? Janis: Not that I doubt how special you are Janis: I completely do, by the way Janis: You get to thinking how you can make me having to fucking regale every detail of this frankly riveting convo to my sister worthwhile and I'll get to walking, yeah? Jimmy: You wound me, girl 💔💔💔💔 Jimmy: I sought you out, whereas she's been in my inbox unread since my moving in date, that'd do for starters Janis: If the situation's a dire as you reckon, you'll have plenty consolation, boy Janis: Welcome Janis: State, honestly Jimmy: You're my consolation if you do me this delivery Jimmy: feeding me to the wolves in lipstick if you don't, basically Jimmy: 'ave it on your conscience if you want, mate Janis: Fucking Hell, if I start atoning for all her cringe or offering myself up as 'consolation' to every lad she makes a tit out of herself in front of I'll never get anything done Janis: Ugh, alright, brains, do your job for you as well, shall I? Just put your mate's number on her to-go 'stead of yours, yeah? Jimmy: alright but how many of 'em are coming to you direct for help, I'm making myself look as much of a tit here, aren't I? Jimmy: brutal you Jimmy: newbies don't have mates to throw under buses Janis: Well, don't be fooled by how available I seem Janis: phone never stops, like Jimmy: I'll find another way then Jimmy: if you stop by for coffee I'll misspell your name like we never chatted, don't worry Janis: Barista bants, how cute Janis: Whatever, it's on my route, I can get it tomorrow AM Jimmy: what you prefer, Janet or Janice? Let me know Janis: 😑 Janis: If you want my sister to ride you, keep on taking the piss, she'll love that, like Jimmy: if you want me to be nice to you, keep using your sister for that A+ excuse Jimmy: 'cause nah, there's nowt more appealing than her getting on her bike Janis: Ha, fuck off, you're the one with a tips jar and manager to keep happy, dickhead Janis: I'm not saying she's not fussy, I'm just saying it might take me several cups of coffee to give you enough 3rd degree burns for her to be #overit Jimmy: funny Jimmy: & im just saying I'd rather give me ex a bell & have her do her worst ruining my life long distance Janis: Worth a shot then, isn't it? Janis: Just try and be less Janis: this Janis: she might reckon you're a changed man Jimmy: is it gonna change your sister's mind about me if I do? Jimmy: 'cause her mates have homewrecker written all over 'em Janis: It was a poor choice of friendship tat, yeah but they ain't the brightest, bless Janis: idk, probably help if the girl was real, mate Jimmy: she is real but shes also real far away Jimmy: & really hates me Jimmy: that's mutual unlike the attraction your little twin is harboring 💔 Janis: 💔 Janis: fuck someone here then, ain't gotta be all 💕 just look enough like it that they write you off their hit lists, yeah Jimmy: proper romantic you Jimmy: I'll go back to the drawing board if its all the same Jimmy: don't need another lass falling for me, do I? Janis: 🙄 Janis: If I had such an easy out, I'd use it Janis: fucking blood ties, such bullshit, along with romance but there we go Jimmy: Easy? yeah alright, Juliet Janis: Not saying you've gotta off yourself with the poor bitch, steady on, though peak 💘 so it is Janis: You're either a 😻 magnet or you ain't, can't have it both ways Jimmy: I just wanna be left alone Jimmy: shouldn't be a lot to ask but until I master leprechaun for fuck off, it apparently is Janis: Preaching to the choir...nah, fuck that, preaching to the big man himself Janis: You work it out, you've got my details now you fucking stalker so hmu then and not before k Jimmy: you know the saying, get stalked enough, become fucked off enough by it to become the stalker Jimmy: or summat Janis: Tragic Janis: No doubt you coulda been something, kid Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: still could Jimmy: if you help me Janis: I don't know how to make a latte, soz Jimmy: not a requirement of dating me, and yeah, my boss is gutted Janis: you what? Jimmy: go out with me Jimmy: you said yourself it don't have to be a love story Janis: um yeah but you should both at least be somewhat into it, ideal world Janis: know you already called me out as the romantic here but Jimmy: nah, you're what I need Jimmy: I won't get tempted Jimmy: keep it easy, like you also said Janis: 🖕 Janis: Like I said, show me how it's worth my time and I will Jimmy: your sister would hate it Jimmy: not like I'm asking you to marry me, you look enough like her that'd be like asking myself to honeymoon in Vietnam Janis: You're a cunt, also, obviously not well-traveled Janis: say what you like Janis: it would be amusing to piss her off and I'm always up for finding new ways Jimmy: so you in? Jimmy: 3 date minimum Janis: You mean I actually have to spend time with you? Jimmy: as long as people think you are, do what you want Janis: Fill your boots Janis: but don't just be saying I let you finger me on your lunch break, like, that isn't working on anyone, least of all my sister and her stupid mates Jimmy: come get your sister's coat and we'll make the magic happen Jimmy: coupley pics and #s will work Jimmy: all they do is sip & scroll Janis: How magical can you really be, then? 😏 Janis: Fuck it, worth it just to piss her grafting you down the drain Jimmy: I'll fake rock your world, Jasmine Janis: Sure 👌 Make me forget my name half as many times as you have and you'll have fucked enough brain cells out to make me a thick Northern twat, clearly Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: hope you're a better actress than you are sweet talker, love Janis: That ain't the one, fucking hell Janis: pick a better petname if we ain't taking time to remember Jimmy: let me know what you want me to call you Jimmy: Baby, right? I bet you're one of them girls Janis: 😒 Hilarious Janis: My daddy issues are pretty non-existent, soz to report Jimmy: what then? Jimmy: Can't call you Juliet if you aren't ride or die for me, darling Janis: I'm remember your unfortunate accent now Janis: it's probably best you don't speak Jimmy: strong, silent type Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: It's your fantasy, kid Janis: Big yourself up however you gotta Jimmy: fantasy? nah Jimmy: necessity Janis: You've not gotta warn me Janis: Not swooning over this chat Jimmy: 💔 Janis: We're all gutted Janis: push that down and smile for the 'gram Jimmy: 😁 Janis: That's the spirit Jimmy: I know yours is more 😏 Jimmy: control yourself if you can, Jenna Janis: Make no promises to control myself so Janis: 👊 behave or deal Jimmy: make one or its off Jimmy: your sister & his mates break enough of my boundaries Janis: If the problem is they're swinging for you, I'm gonna go right ahead and victim blame Jimmy: probably keep that off the 'gram, girl Janis: We laying down ground rules here and now, yeah? Jimmy: you got something else on? Janis: It's the Easter hols Janis: so no Janis: fuck all Jimmy: then may as well Janis: Alright Janis: No posting without getting the other's go ahead first Jimmy: done Jimmy: same goes for agreeing to go somewhere/do something as the power couple we're pretending to be Janis: 'Course Jimmy: & if you tell your sister summat let me know too 'cause she loves questioning me over her coffee Janis: Ha Janis: I do my level best to avoid her but easy Jimmy: you're not gonna brag about what a good boyfriend I am 💔 Janis: We'll have to work out how good you are first, like Jimmy: good enough that I'm off limits your sister & her mates Jimmy: no more no less Janis: Can do that Jimmy: don't fall in love with me for real, can you do that? Janis: 😏 Are you for real? Janis: Ego to go with the accent, is it Jimmy: just checking you're not like your sister for real Jimmy: could be protesting too much for all I know Janis: And this could just be a really bad come on for all I know Janis: we'll have to trust on this one thing, deal? Jimmy: Yeah Janis: Sorted Janis: Make me sound good, as I will be for you Jimmy: how good? Jimmy: nobody knows my dating history, what's yours? Janis: Likewise Janis: all you gotta do is make it realistic enough that people stop asking if I'm a dyke Jimmy: Easy Jimmy: Are you a take it slow girl or hook up on date 1 type? Janis: Won't be getting that graphic on the 'gram, leave it out Jimmy: But it won't stay on the 'gram, will it? Jimmy: People chat Jimmy: what reputation do you want? Janis: Probably better to not be a slag init Jimmy: but don't be keeping me waiting too long if you don't wanna sound gay Janis: alright, irresistable Janis: 2nd date, like Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I ain't, by the way Jimmy: Don't matter Janis: Does Janis: Who needs the pressure of being a beard? This ain't what this is, got it Jimmy: It'd be less pressure, probably Jimmy: you'd be better at faking it Janis: Sorry to disappoint you and all the girls 😒 Jimmy: if its the only time you're gonna, I'll cope Janis: Naturally Janis: Aim to please Jimmy: save it for the 'gram, Judith Janis: Reckon I'm being nice rn? Janis: Poor boy 💔 Jimmy: nice matters less than gay Jimmy: Don't wanna be your mate Janis: Good thing too, aiming to please here, keep up Janis: just saying, starting to doubt how 😍 they are now Jimmy: come see for yourself Jimmy: I'm working as we speak Janis: 😏 Wow so hot Jimmy: it could be if you're ready to kick this off Janis: Why not? Janis: Sooner we get it done sooner we'll see results Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: Laters, babes Jimmy: Cute Janis: That's why you're with me Jimmy: I'm not yet Janis: You're gonna be salty 'cos I won't ride you in your hipster hangout today? 😂 Jimmy: I'm getting paid to be here, you're the one hanging out Janis: I'm picking up the bitch's coat, piss off Jimmy: You could do that when we close Jimmy: You're coming to see me Janis: You do this much? Janis: Suspiciously good at it Jimmy: Which bit? Janis: The bit where you fake a relationship Janis: Good tactic to get bare girls, like or what Jimmy: You're my first 💕 Jimmy: don't let it go to your head, Josephine Janis: as much as that'd get 'em throwing out the #goals Janis: secret's safe with me, boy Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: don't have to go to these lengths up north Jimmy: girls just get if you're interested or nah Janis: 💔 it's a shithole, mate Janis: didn't you get told before leaving t'mines Jimmy: must've had too much coal in my ears or summat Janis: Don't know what you got 'til it's gone Janis: interested and interesting bitches included, obvs Jimmy: not only a pretty face you Jimmy: got it going on in your head too Jimmy: lucky me Jimmy: 😍😍😍😍 Janis: Yeah yeah Janis: Better take back what you said 'bout the leprechauns now you're coming up 🍀&🌹 Jimmy: if you save the humble for the #s I'll think about it Janis: Never been accused of being humble Janis: I guess the gay or nay is more pressing Jimmy: never checked a mirror or nowt, neither? Janis: 'Course, gotta spot myself at the gym, ain't I Jimmy: you can agree you're pretty then Jimmy: not an ugly duckling story either Janis: What's it matter, like Jimmy: im not fake dating one of them girls Jimmy: hates herself but still takes selfies Janis: that's another rule? i'll be thinking on my next then Jimmy: Can't prop up your self esteem Janis: Don't worry 'bout me, fake worry or otherwise ain't necessary Jimmy: I won't Jimmy: all worried out Jimmy: fake & real Janis: 🎻 Jimmy: customer service deserves a pity orchestra Jimmy: alright for you, rich girl Janis: I'll hire one out for date three if you earn it Janis: so 💸 Jimmy: just gimme the money Jimmy: if this was a naff teen rom com, I'd charge per date Janis: If I was richer, older and lonelier, you mean Janis: and you were desperate enough to be a rent boy Janis: you'd actually have to put out though so let's not Jimmy: only if I wanted top money Jimmy: the in it for the chit chat option would be more than I make at CG Janis: Then I hope to fuck you're a better fuck than you are bringing it with the chat, darling, no one is paying for this Jimmy: I'm not trying to impress you Jimmy: pay me and I'll be charming Janis: I'm not trying to pay Janis: Not that hard up, but tah Jimmy: don't complain about what you get then Janis: You ain't telling me what I can and can't do, babe Jimmy: I'm telling you I'm not here to listen to you whinge, babe Jimmy: Get a real boyfriend for that Janis: Have you tried talking to any of my sister's mates Janis: I really think it'll solve this whole thing Jimmy: I talk to 'em every shift Janis: That's not real Janis: that's wage slave robotics Jimmy: neither is this Janis: Whatever, do this at them then Janis: However fit you are, it ain't worth all this Janis: though, probably had worse, hm Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: bad boy baristas are this year's...whatever last year's fad was Jimmy: whatever I say that's brutal I'm playing hard to get Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: 🤢 Ick Janis: last year's fad was the clap so like, careful Jimmy: I repeat, you're what I need Jimmy: nothing else has worked Janis: 😍 Janis: I said yes, didn't I Janis: it'll be sorted Jimmy: are you on your way? Jimmy: 'cause it won't be 'til then Janis: Keen Janis: Yeah, though, gimme 10 Jimmy: try and look like someone capable of getting my attention Janis: I'm not giving myself a shit fringe for you Janis: get some taste Jimmy: you don't know my tastes, Joanne Janis: I can guess Janis: and be right Jimmy: go for it Jimmy: try Janis: any bitch described in any indie song ever Janis: not like other girls 'cept like all the other girls at the shitty pub/gig drinking pints 'cos you'll think it's dead cool, like her tongue piercing and real leather jacket Jimmy: thats racist Jimmy: just 'cause I know all the lyrics to Wonderwall Janis: 😂 Janis: like glass, boy Jimmy: I hope you're better at pretending to know what I like Janis: I know I ain't wrong but you can have the automatic upgrade for free Jimmy: Funny Janis: What, now I'm TOO confident? Jimmy: Nah, too obvious Janis: Err, me or your lack of taste? Jimmy: you Janis: How Janis: Fucking cheek Jimmy: You've pulled the first cliche you could out of your arse Jimmy: is how Janis: I'm sooooo sorry Janis: sure she seemed really special and unique at the time Jimmy: I'm sorry that you're just like your sister Janis: Now who's chatting out their arse Jimmy: still you Jimmy: she don't know me either but she reckons she knows my tastes too Janis: and you don't know me, you barely know the bits of her she wants you to, like Jimmy: I'm not trying to even fake know you Janis: Mutual, hence idc what you fuck Janis: and it was a joke, fucking hell boy Jimmy: funny you Jimmy: like I said Janis: So you keep saying Janis: go do some work, i'm just killing time on the bus Jimmy: I'm working harder than you Jimmy: this chat is a slog without all the coffee I'm slinging between the lines Janis: Do one then? Save it for the 'gram, rule no.1 Jimmy: 👋 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: what do you do that isn't shit coffee there Jimmy: drinks or food? Janis: Drinks Jimmy: shitter tea, tasteless milkshakes & minging smoothies Janis: 🙄 Joy Janis: if you can make the smoothie at least healthy as well as minging, do that Jimmy: I can make it taste alright if you keep that off the 'gram Janis: That's big talk, babe Jimmy: secret menus aren't just for starbucks Jimmy: I'm here all day I have to make some shit edible for myself Janis: Fair Janis: I'm willing to be impressed by the smoothie skillz at least Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: I'll be brutally honest, idc if you are bae Jimmy: calling me bae is more brutal Jimmy: hate that Janis: 😂 awh bae Jimmy: leave off, Jill Janis: hot and cold, you Jimmy: 💔 Janis: tell me 'bout it Janis: planning our fake breakup already Jimmy: Are you? Janis: that's the fun bit, right? Jimmy: make me look better than my ex did and it'll be a start Janis: i'll break your heart Janis: that's the reputation i'll take Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: steady Janis: 🤷 Janis: i want what i want boy Jimmy: you think you're having my heart? how many dates we going on? Janis: work fast Janis: faster than i'm letting you Jimmy: up yourself you Janis: rich 😏 Jimmy: yeah you are, don't rub it in, girl Janis: I ain't though Janis: like you said, her coat's shit Jimmy: means she's got shit taste not a lack of funds Janis: You can't be rich with 10 kids Janis: trust Jimmy: you could Jimmy: could be a princess for all I know Janis: 😂 what kind of deep cover is this Janis: living in this hole Janis: going to that school, sure Jimmy: #humble Janis: funny Janis: you wish Jimmy: Why? Jimmy: I don't care what you are, do I Janis: 💸 and clout would be an undeniable bonus, regardless Jimmy: I told you, I wanna be left alone, clout is the opposite of that Jimmy: & I don't need your money, girl Janis: Okay so you can't be bought, get you Jimmy: that's not what we're doing here Janis: I know Janis: Serious Janis: you're just easy to take the piss outta Jimmy: piss off Janis: I'll turn around now, like Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: I'm not having the threat of you walking hanging over me head Janis: So serious Janis: Not a princess with a driver, there's no changing the bus route on the rest of this lot now Janis: no matter how moody you get Jimmy: I've got a kid sister I ain't babysitting you too Jimmy: Be serious Janis: Yeah yeah Jimmy: Or call it off Janis: Nah Jimmy: It's not a yeah or nah question Jimmy: it's me saying don't half arse fake dating me Janis: I ain't going to Janis: like you said, this ain't real, and ain't how it's gonna be but can't prove that 'til I get there Jimmy: 👌 Janis: That ain't a response either Janis: I ain't the only one with something to prove Jimmy: Show your face & I will Janis: Try not to look too disappointed Janis: don't doubt some of your fangirls will be watching Jimmy: How many times do you want me to tell you you're pretty when nobody's listening? Janis: Shut up Janis: That ain't what I meant Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: See? Don't start Janis: 😍 only dickhead Jimmy: calm down, dickhead Jimmy: I've got this Janis: First time, you admitted as much Jimmy: Faking it, yeah Jimmy: I've done it for real, that's harder Janis: You reckon Jimmy: I don't care what you think so yeah Jimmy: As long as it looks good it don't matter if it is Janis: That's same as the real thing let's not lie Jimmy: Nah Janis: Agree to disagree, darling Jimmy: Disagree and tell you to shut your face, Jodie Janis: Save it for your ex, Romeo Janis: 💘 such a romantic Jimmy: If I was, she wouldn't be an ex, would she? Janis: Giving you benefit of doubt Janis: LDR never works, you're a 15 year old boy Janis: got like what, 13 more before you find the one, isn't it? Jimmy: what makes you think long distance is what ex-ed her? Jimmy: I never said that Janis: Guess not Jimmy: You don't have to fake knowledge about me Jimmy: nobody's asking who came before Janis: You don't know girls if you think that Janis: undoubtly scoping their profiles as we speak Jimmy: don't doubt they have but they won't find owt Janis: not gutted for 'em Jimmy: only yourself Jimmy: you'll have to keep faking knowing everything Janis: suits me fine, boy Janis: the truth don't interest me none Jimmy: spoken like a decent liar Janis: you know it Janis: truly your lucky day Jimmy: 😍 Janis: Ready? Jimmy: If you are Janis: Fuck it Janis: Why not Jimmy: see, romance ain't dead 💕 Jimmy: how could I refuse? Janis: in it for the smoothie Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: got time to spit in it still Janis: Don't you dare Janis: Will actually fuck you up Jimmy: Get used to it, you're gonna have to kiss me Janis: Disgusting Jimmy: Sweet talking again Jimmy: Jeez, June, steady on Janis: You're the one bringing up necking when I've not even got in the door Jimmy: Are you ready or aren't you? Janis: 'Course I am Jimmy: then I can talk about it, can't I? Jimmy: it's too late for a no kissing rule Janis: If that's how you deal with bricking it Jimmy: piss off Janis: Too late now, babe Jimmy: it's not Janis: ? Jimmy: we don't have to do this if you're shitting yourself Janis: bitch, please Jimmy: I'm not gonna be your bitch, babe Janis: Not the pet name you want then? Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: Have plenty of time to think on it when you're swooning 😉 Jimmy: It's so funny that you believe you'll able to think on anything Janis: 😏 Mhmm Janis: catch me mentally writing my shopping list to pass the time during Jimmy: You aren't even a good liar in private Jimmy: We're doomed Janis: Shut up Janis: Not seen such a romance since Kate and Leo Jimmy: 🎻 doomed, mate Janis: you wanna go down with the ship so bad Janis: drama 👑 Jimmy: I want you to put your riches where your big mouth is Jimmy: Stop your chatting and come on Janis: Keen as Janis: I'm nearly there, stop pining, it's embarrassing Jimmy: You're such a dickhead Jimmy: Maybe I should just date your sister Janis: Go on Janis: I ain't gonna save you from the literal slag pile of exes, you ain't deserve it Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: you don't deserve me Jimmy: well snide you Janis: You love it Jimmy: not having my 💘 Joan, I told you Janis: i don't want it Janis: just gonna 💔 it and bounce Jimmy: 😂 Janis: k i'm coming in guard your 💘 and 👀 'cos i look 🔥 Jimmy: I'll judge that Janis: you forgot what we're doing here or what Jimmy: If we're dating you gotta bring it as my girlfriend Jimmy: so nah Janis: 🙄 Janis: 'cos you look so fit in your stupid uniform 👌 Jimmy: We're meant to be improving your rep not trashing mine Jimmy: & yeah I do 👌 Janis: Really? Nothing to do with how scared you are of these crazy bitches k Jimmy: fed up ain't scared Janis: still Janis: you need me Janis: don't forget it, pal Jimmy: I won't if you don't, mate

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Ronnie, Bronson, Charlie & Bea

Ronnie: I'm going on a run Ronnie: who wants? Bronson: My stash is depleted for some unknown reason 🤔 please stock me up Charlie: Ooh, new year new you babe? Charlie: couch to 5k is it aspirational af 😍 Bea: ✋ me Ronnie: fuck off i just dont need you pussies crying when you can't scav my gear Ronnie: what'll it be princess? the usual Charlie: c'mon, we've always shared everything, nothing is your own #carekidlife Bronson: Ha! That'll be why the lock on my door never sticks Bea: yep, not decided to get heavily into crack since we last spoke, just lots of amphetamines in any form you find 'em, tah, got exams coming up Ronnie: Shame Ronnie: reckon I'd like you more on the hard shit Charlie: just in case you missed the old place, man, giving you that nostalgia for when you had to padlock anything that wasn't bolted to the floor 😜 Bronson: Good times! 😀 Bea: Shame I'm not trying to be your type then, I guess Bea: soz darling, spoken for 💋 Charlie: Truly, missing that tenner a week pocket money, LUXURY! Ronnie: fucking am Ronnie: pissing jobcentre Bronson: I'll add it to your tab if you're desperate as Charlie: gotta learn to play their game, babe Charlie: not throw the board in a hissy Ronnie: 🖕 doss cunts Bea: catch me here fanning myself with sweet, sweet debt for future me to give a shit about Bronson: I'll wipe it out if you use some to keep me sweet Bea: sweet enough sugar 😘 Bea: but forreal, if you could manage that I would be your sugar mama for LIFE 🙏 Bronson: It's student loans not the feds Bronson: Easy peasy Bea: true, like all branches of the gov, pretty fucking useless Bea: but I'm an immigrant as far as they concerned so they treat me SO good 😋 Bronson: Same, but we can always stretch our hands out a little further Ronnie: To jack it and pat yourself on the back at the same time, yeah? Ronnie: calm it down Bronson: New year, new look too! Green looks ace with black 😄 Bea: Clearly do not have natural rhythm Ronnie, that's really not that difficult Bea: You're not a drummer, are you? 😕 Ronnie: get off my tits all of yous Ronnie: do you want gear or nah? Bronson: 🤐 Bea: I thought you'd already gone tbh Ronnie: not trying to score that weak gay shit Ronnie: hitting up a more reliable source like Charlie: rude, i'm RIGHT here Ronnie: are you even gay fitzy? always in my pussy lad Bronson: 😷 Bea: 🤢 Charlie: idk, ask ur man 💖 Ronnie: that'll be why me and Bron's dads did a bunk Bronson: Get yourself locked up at the same time just for the d, did you? Romantic Charlie: if the porn n the stereotypes n the rate of STIs are anything to go by...love is in the air always in cell block h Ronnie: princess'll have some handcuffs to get you on your way to that good loving Bea: 🚿🧠 anyone got any bleach? Bea: Charlie isn't worth the 💰 use cable ties, more authentic Bronson: 99 🚔 My fingers are on the button....Stop for the love of god Ronnie: Bron can help you out there Fitz Ronnie: 🤓 Bronson: Take that over a thicko label Charlie: Look, babe, know you wanna tie me down forever but do it yourself, don't involve the kid Charlie: 💍 diamond or no D, soz Ronnie: Bring a needle I'll snag a gem Bronson: Don't go there, C, I'm still riding the ear infection wave Bronson: It's been 84 years Ronnie: yeah cause you're a mong that can't turn an earring Bronson: In my defense I was a legit child Bea: nothing screams low-class like stabbing your friends for the bants Charlie: and i already scream homo loudly enough, don't need another reason to be hate crime-d, a thank you Bronson: If I didn't know you I'd guess bisexual Bronson: You can have that for free Charlie: what a smooth-talker! thanks babe 💖 Charlie: and if i didn't know you, i'd guess you were trying to see my dongle Bronson: Been there, repressed the trauma o that Ronnie: get a fucking room benders Charlie: why you being so homophobic when we all know how bad you want on princess? cliche stuck in the closet much Bea: shut up Ronnie: in your wet dreams Charles Ronnie: fuck off Charlie: oh the delicious tension Charlie: too much for either to bear Ronnie: I know where she's been Ronnie: fuck that Ronnie: like you wish you could gayboy Bronson: Wait, you fancy Fraze, Charlie? Ha Bea: Bron can you not encourage either of them Bea: thanks Bronson: Sorry my mind's just blown I thought he was out of his straight boy phase Charlie: What? Its a compliment for you, he's adorable, why else would you be with him? Ronnie: they're both annoying cunts Ronnie: match made Charlie: and never out of that phase, bro 😍 #daddyissues Bea: get his name out of your mouth bitch Ronnie: oi get your mouth off his dick Fitzgerald you heard her Ronnie: princess is raging like Ronnie: when your mans a slag and youre a prude Bea: As if Bea: Only one McKenna fucked up to go near you Bea: #singletear Charlie: Children, enough Ronnie: Bron do that final 9 she's going off 😂 Bronson: Walking away Bea: know you're hard up but as per we're all funding you getting your rocks off so run along and do it, no need to bore me trying to get your kicks Ronnie: know youre a snobby cunt but I don't work for you Bea: you don't work for anyone, not even JC gonna fund your lack of a life Ronnie: 🖕 mad cause I don't need reddies to fund myself Bea: yeah fuming Bea: if only I'd have thought of selling my body, wouldn't even NEED to be at cambs rn omg Ronnie: nailed it Bea: 😂 Bea: whodathunkit Bea: talking to the cure for cancer stuck inside a waster here Bea: and I'm the snob, okay Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: devvo like Bea: We can tell Bea: you don't need to shout about it, you've got the energy of a walking wasteland Ronnie: can't wait until you take some more speed and get more smug Bea: Right? Bea: Must sting, better only getting better Bea: why don't you get something to numb the pain- Ronnie: let you know how it feels when the lads come up Bronson: A rare compliment, you hitting it already? Ronnie: you'll have your share calm the fuck down Charlie: i don't want any, i'm busy Charlie: glad you all noted my silence, feel so listened to usually! hmpf Ronnie: so now you're a little bitch too Ronnie: fuck's sake Bronson: PARTY TIME, am I right? Really in the mood now thanks everyone Charlie: who's in who's pussy, dollface? Charlie: keep your shirt on, Bro 😂 got enough with the two angry feminists here Charlie: I've got previous plans, if you're really so hurt, you can save me some, no? Whaddya mean that'd hurt more? 😏 Bea: you're alright, I personally rather you weren't there, suits me 😘 Bronson: Shirts already off, too late 😜 Bea: Standard 👌 Charlie: you big man whore Charlie: when i'm not around to be predatory, too, tuttut Bronson: I'd wilt under your stare, you know you aren't missing out Charlie: our beautiful wallflower Charlie: I bagsy being a red rose, lil trashy but iconic Bronson: Thorn in our sides Bronson: accepted Bea: Nice one, babe Bea: i'll be an orchid, because i'm beautiful, ornamental and high-maintenance Bea: getting in there before any of you fucks can Charlie: though your silence IS noted, wonwon Charlie: don't be cross at me 😘 Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: you're not the only one who's busy Ronnie: got a dick in my mouth too like Charlie: such a skilled multitasker Charlie: teach me your ways Bronson: in private please Bronson: not a lesson I want to learn Bea: we're not living in that teen movie Ronnie: On my way Bea: 👍 getting cash out, meet you there Bronson: Doors on the latch

Bea: Morning sweetness 😴 Bea: manage to recover your good vibe/night? Bronson: is it? 😪 Bronson: Until now it wasn't too bad Bronson: Do you get to say the same or is it pure suffering? Bea: Wow, when you hit bae up with that morning text and he's like day=ruined 😰 thought we was forever 😉 Bea: Decided to get off with someone around the same time I lost track of yous, so it was fucking awful, don't tell me you coulda told me that Bronson: It's only the comedown I wanna dump you're welcome to come and nap 💗 Bronson: Not to be that know it all Bea: Molly's such a cruel, cruel mistress, she wants you to miss her when she's gone 💁 Bea: Poor bubba, better than waking up next to that pushy bitch from last night though, Jesus, what was her damage? Bea: I reckon he'd actually gone out and had his drunken kebab and THEN PAID TO GET BACK IN Bea: No sir, not alright Bea: Why do I bother? Bronson: But I'm shamelessly smitten, only girl for besides present company like Bronson: Whatever it is she's not the first or last sufferer Bronson: Thanks for the bail out and sorry I wasn't there to do the same with kebab Kev Bea: N'awwh 💞 glad I hold more appeal than Tina, don't need to be going down that route Bea: It's an epidemic! Basic bitches who can't get a man willing, yeah take that out on innocent onlookers who ain't buying and talk about how your ex ain't shit for being a creepy letch Bea: We see you sweets 💅 Bea: Any time, even if you weren't there to take that donner breath bullet Bea: I'd never ask that of anyone, even Ronnie, though she'd brag about not being arsed, I'm sure 😂 Bronson: Next time I'll carry gum and throw it at whoever you deem worthy Bronson: Give me the nod Bronson: It was all over her socials like we had a good night together until I got there first Bronson: Rather take out Tina and all her mates Bea: as if you don't already Bea: if only little miss would-be-rapist knew that strong jawline was from gurning up a storm 😉 Bea: not so sexy now Bronson: there's nothing in my pockets I'm just pleased to see you Bronson: Seriously though, some of those selfies had to go for that unflattering reason alone taking into account none of her other antics Bronson: I looked a state Bea: 😂 not fallen for that one before but i'll make an exception for you boo Bea: catch me in my duvet cocoon, please don't look at me 'cos same Bea: I dread to think Bea: kept off my accounts for that reason and many more, some of us have reputations to uphold, skank Bronson: want me to check Bronson: clean up the carnage Bronson: Then brunch, your treat Bea: please Bea: roleplay my IT bitch and I'll be feeling my boss best in time for a liquid lunch Bea: will have to damage control my face first, enjoy watching me lovingly whilst I turn a -2 to an 11 Bronson: Never get bored of staring at you, you know that Bronson: Make my hair great again Bronson: Thanks Bea: when you shoulda been Trump's campaign manager 😕 Bea: sort the weave, clean up that twitter Bea: what a wonderful world it coulda been Bronson: Last night proves I can't stop him pussy grabbing Bronson: Need you for that one Bea: This pussy bites back 😼 Bea: its not your fault, girls like that, if you tell her to fuck off, and rightly so, it'd be made like YOU were being a prick to her Bea: gotta bullshit these hoes sometimes, tis the only way Bronson: Or playing hard to get...they fire that one at me loads Bronson: 😦 Bea: 🤢 gross Bea: got that one myself a fair few times, when I'm not being accused of being a prude by Ronaldo, hilariously Bea: People are the worst Bea: 'cept us Bronson: It's only because she likes you Bronson: Flattering, isn't it? Bronson: Being called broken is my fave Bronson: "Who hurt you?" You are right now, fuck off before you get a slap yourself to feel the pain of Bea: Wouldn't that just be the perfect solution in their simplistic little world? If only Bea: Save myself the feelings of disgust not brought on by kebab breath Bea: Though, if you think that that's love coming from Ron, then you do have an answer to their riddle right there, not real but the masses'll take one look at her and buy it 😜 Bronson: No arguments here Bronson: Your socials are sparkling now so that's real comfort to take Bea: 💖 yay Bea: the world never need know Bea: as long as I didn't drunk dial or text Fraze, this day is looking up, tah babes Bronson: Not to be a know it all again so quick Bronson: but I'm going to go ahead and guess the answer to that one Bea: BITCH DON'T KILL MY VIBE Bea: I'm sure I'd have angry ranting in my inbox if I had Bea: or a passive indirect on the socials, come across one perchance smartiepants? Bronson: Might've Bronson: I'll spare you Bea: Noooooooooooooooooooo Bea: Coulda had it all Bea: Really sours my Bloody Mary Bea: Fuck sake, now he's going to think I FUCKED kebab kev and enjoyed it meanwhile I sit here virginal and scrubbing my mouth out with soap Bea: How's this game fair again, please remind me Bronson: It isn't Bronson: But I can't tell you to stop playing Bronson: All yours Bea: you're meant to be a superwhizkid Bea: can't you think up a strategy so I win Bronson: Thinking cap is on Bronson: Because my hair still looks shit as much as Bea: I'll fix your barnet Bea: Between you and Charlie, honestly Bea: Never known boys like it 😂 Bea: blatant lie, have you seen how particular Fraze is but he doesn't really have much hair to be stylin' so Bronson: 👴 awkward Bea: you fool Bea: not like that 😂 Bea: though I'll keep it in my backpocket for when we inevitably row later Bea: #malepatternbaldnessBITCH Bronson: Freebie to kick your day off right again Bea: if you refuse to tell me what to do, could you use your skillz for good at least and fucking disable my phone when i'm fucked Bronson: Last time I tried you tried to fight me like Bea: Look, I didn't say it was a task for the fainthearted 😉 Bea: and yes, you would be the first to succeed too Bea: but if anyone can, its my man 😘 Bronson: Ego boost before eggs Bronson: Whoa Bronson: Today is looking up Bea: Gotta keep you sweet with all the bitching I'll no doubt do at brunch Bea: such a Carrie move, like no one cares bitch, write it in your column or books or...what did she even write? Or was she just monologuing at her computer, like all been there babe but don't act like its buying you all that designer Bronson: Her real true love was that laptop Bronson: Solved it Bea: 😲 Bea: but Mr. Big Bea: clue in the name Bronson: Could be his wallet Bronson: explain the designer gear Bea: Exactly Bea: Just my type Bronson: I'd go in for it if I can spend and send him the receipts Bea: you must be aware there are websites for that Bea: get on it boy Bronson: It all gets too sexual for my tastes Bea: set out boundaries Bea: different strokes for different folks Bea: i'm SURE there's a millionaire out there that just wants to chat Bronson: 🤔 There's enough fighting off advances in the club Bronson: Shelving that until millionaires become good people Bea: not bad people by default Bea: just a bad system they profit from more than you Bronson: Getting deep in here Bronson: Truth though Bea: real talk take #2 Bea: where do you think charlie was last night? and who or what was he doing? Bronson: Good questions that I have no answer to Bronson: If he had a job we'd all know Bea: I need to know, suspense is killing me Bea: I didn't think anything beat drugs in his book Bea: somewhat encouraging? Bronson: You could ask but I doubt you'd get far enough into the real Bronson: It is Bronson: Boy's growing up? Bea: Full of the #bants them two Bronson: Since day 1 Bronson: I'm coming to get you, Barbara Bronson: Ready yourself Bea: *falls over gravestones like a dumb bitch* Bea: i'm good to go and looking fly Bronson: I'll do the coded knock Bronson: Made up rn Bea: Helpful Bronson: That's my thing Bronson: Soon, my love, soon

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