#I thought of this because I got seaside boom boom stuck in my head a second ago (I know this is smtown not JUST shinee but shut up) and was

[seilon]

you know what’d be kinda fun to make and that i undeniably have the credentials for. a shinee iceberg

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

“Boardwalk Junkies”

A short story I wrote for a fiction workshop. Has potential to be continued into a longer piece. Enjoy and thank you for reading!

Trigger warning: Talk of suicide & implication of drug use

Word Count: 5146

Boardwalk Junkies

The first day he saw her was the same day she died. Her jet black hair soaked, plastered to her face as they pulled her limp body from the water. He watched as her friends stood surrounding her, staring. No one moved to help her. In seconds he was kneeling at the strange girl’s side, preparing to do mouth to mouth as her friends stood looking on in a drug-induced haze, unsure if she was playing a joke or seriously laying there, dead. He felt no breath coming from her lips and heard no heart beating in her chest. He looked again at the face that had captivated him all day and knew he couldn’t let her die. He hadn’t even gotten a chance to learn her real name yet.

He placed his mouth to hers, swiftly and accurately performing CPR until she finally seemed to respond. A gush of water burst from her mouth and once the sounds of her gurgling gasps broke the silence of the early summer night, James sat back on his heels and began to quietly cry. The sound of the girl struggling for air seemed to bring her friends’ sobriety back. Pushing him out of the way, they ensconced her. He stepped back, giving the small band of comrades some room. He was, after all, the outsider. He shouldn’t have even been down on the beach with these kids.

Twelve hours earlier, he was staring at a pallid reflection of himself in his mother’s bathroom mirror. The deep blue eyes resembling the color of the sky on a stormy summer day stared back at him. But they didn’t look familiar anymore. All he could see were dead, listless remnants of what used to be there. In the six years since his brother had left for college, James’s life had been steadily heading downhill. Constant belittling lectures and the controlling grip from his father had become borderline aggressive. His mother was always anxious and annoyed, which caused her to wear an expression of disgust that could scare away the likes of Rosemary’s baby.

It was slow at first. He thought they were taking out their frustrations on him after Kevin had left when he was ten, but as the years went on, it never got better. The slow descent into despair picked up speed by the time he turned fifteen. For years his sole salvation was the knowledge that upon his eighteenth birthday he could be free of both of them and the life they were steadily mapping out for him. But when eighteen came and went, and there was no escape in sight, he searched for another way out revealed itself. James thought about just packing up and leaving, but there was nothing for him to take. He had no money of his own, no transportation, nowhere to go. He thought he could go away to college and be free of these people who were supposed to care for him, but their plan for him didn’t include college. As far as he knew, he was stuck.

Sliding back the bathroom mirror, James carefully studied each small bottle of pills hoping to find one that would end it for him quickly. He had stashed away a fifth of vodka to wash down the pills of his choice but just wanted to find the right ones. His worst fear wasn’t of the death itself, but of his parents finding him half dead and bringing him to a hospital. The wrath that would come down upon him would be worse than anything he could do to himself. James could already hear his father’s voice and knew the words that would be spat at him for attempting to end his own life. Suicide was the coward’s way out, and Wallace Carter wouldn’t have his youngest son be called a coward.

Deciding on a cocktail of pills, he began to pull down the various bottles, when his mother’s voice boomed from down the hallway. He could hear her ordering around one of the various maids and quickly put the bottles away before she could discover his thievery. Without thinking, he flushed the empty toilet and pretended to wash his hands before opening the door and leaving the bathroom. If she was in the hallway, there would be no getting around the dragon lady he called his mother. He emerged, saddened that his escape would have to wait until later, and came face to face with his mother, Olivia.

“What are you doing in my bathroom?” she asked with an anxious sort of contempt. “Don’t you have your own bathroom?”

“Sorry mom, I was here looking for you and had to go so I used yours.”

“Well, I hope you didn’t leave the seat up.”

“No ma’am,” James said, head down looking at his shoes.

“Fine. Well, what do you want then?” Olivia was just dismissive now, she never really could be bothered with him unless she needed him to do something for her. But James could never tell if it was because she had mixed the wine with the Xanax again, or solely because of his existence.

Struggling to think of a reason to have needed her, and coming up empty he replied, “I, um, just wanted to tell you I was going to go for a walk on the boardwalk.”

“Fine.” She turned on her heel and vanished into her bedroom so quickly and with a minor stumble. Maybe today’s cold front was the result of pinot and pills, and not because he dared to be in her line of sight.

James stepped out of his family’s summer home on the Jersey Shore and looked out over the dunes. Empty sands lay before him, but only for about two hundred yards. Beyond that, hundreds of beach goers littered the pristine sandy shore, all oiled and baking in the hot sun. The glare off the ocean was enough to cause an immediate headache, but that was a welcome feeling over the anxiety his mother always left him with, no matter how brief the interaction had been.

As he approached the crowded boardwalk, he couldn’t help but wonder why his parents chose that location for a new summer home. In years past they had owned homes in Martha’s Vineyard and out in the Hamptons. Not that he cared for either of those places, but this small seaside Jersey town seemed so far out of his parents’ scope that there had to be a reason behind the choice. Maybe that’s what caused his mother to be more bitter and bitchy than usual. The area was definitely more blue collar than blue blooded, and that couldn’t be sitting well with the dragon lady.

The boardwalk was a little more than half a mile long and home to two miniature golf courses, and one pier of rides geared towards families with younger children. There was a vast array of food and drink vendors, along with at least four different arcades. Even though the ocean was a stone’s throw away, the air was filled with an aromatic mix of funnel cake, sausage and pepper sandwiches, pizza, cotton candy and suntan lotion. Thrown between that were different boardwalk games you could participate in for a grand ole price of fifty cents. Excited screams of children’s laughter carried on the breeze, fading in and out as the summer wind whipped through the dunes.

The smells and sounds of the boardwalk that most people relished in neither enticed him or repelled him. The walk, after all, was nothing more than a plot device to get him out of his parents’ house. James shuffled his way down the weathered wooden boards, dragging his feet, hands in pockets and oblivious to life happening around him. His mind kept going back to the pills and vodka that waited for him back at the house. While that option was still viable a bit later, he wondered why it had to be that way. Why did he feel that ending his life was the only way to be free?

James lifted his face to the heat of the sun overhead and said a silent prayer for guidance. He didn’t know exactly who the words were directed to; the universe maybe. God? Perhaps. James didn’t really care, he just wanted something to help him figure out a better way to get through the miserable existence he called life.

As he stood there, feeling the sun sizzle on his skin, the breeze once again carried away the sounds of the children and replaced it with a melody that was familiar, but still too distant to name it. James opened his eyes and began to look around for the source of the music. The boardwalk suddenly seemed even more crowded with his view constantly being blocked. He walked another few yards down until he spotted a small crowd of kids around his age gathered near one of the benches that looked out over the beach. James tried to get closer to them in a roundabout way, without being noticed but it seemed the largest of the beach going tourists liked to stand in as an unknowing guard, blocking his view.

Finally, the group of tourists moved on, and James could not only get a clear view but a better hold of the melody that captured his attention. One of the guys in the group, a taller than average kid, with a shaved head and two arm sleeves of tattoos stepped aside, enabling him to catch his first glimpse of her, the girl with the guitar.

Her hair hung long past her shoulders and shone so black that it cast off a purple glow. Her face was cast down towards her guitar as she played the chords that were now glaringly obvious to him. When he finally had that chance to see her for the first time, sitting there on the ground picking at a guitar, everything else around him faded away. There were no more sounds of children and the Carnival style music playing from the rides was no longer audible. There was only the raven-haired girl and her guitar. She was strumming softly and singing even softer, but he could somehow hear all the notes and words to “Dream a Little Dream of Me”.

James knew the song well. Even though it had been years since he’d last heard it, it was a tune that would never leave his memory. He was drawn to it, but couldn’t exactly place why. Maybe someone used to sing it to him, but no clear memory of who it could have been. All he had was a feeling attached to the song; a feeling of love.

He couldn’t imagine how he had heard her in the first place over the noise of the boardwalk. No one else in her small circle seemed to even notice that she was singing. She sat on the splintered boards, head now lying back against the railing with her eyes shut and face turned up towards the sun. From across the boardwalk, he studied her; completely unaware of how hard he had been staring. In a space of minutes, he was drinking in every detail of her as she slipped into the chorus.

“Stars fading but I linger on, dear

Still craving your kiss

I’m longing to linger till dawn, dear

Just saying this…”

She wore rings on nearly every finger, and even from this distance, he could see a small star shaped tattoos on her strumming hand. Then, something one of her friends said caused her to stop singing and burst out into a laugh that caused him to smile too.

Suddenly feeling conspicuous about watching the girl, he walked a little further ahead and found an empty bench to sit on. He found her in the crowd again and watched as she struck a match and light a cigarette. She had ceased singing the song, and still, there was something about her that he couldn’t let go of. Something that caused him to forget his surroundings, forget that he was sitting on a crowded boardwalk staring at a stranger.

From somewhere deep in his pocket, a vibration brought James back from his hypnotic stare. The life happening around him began to come back into focus; the smells, sounds and people buzzing around him. Another vibration from deep in his pocket snapped him back to reality completely. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and saw MOM flashing on the call screen. Immediate dread washed away any good feelings the strange girl stirred in him. Wanting to silence the phone and go on observing, James knew there was no escaping Olivia. Just the thought of her brought back the image of the pills and his original plans for the day. The unease and anxiety that was slowly working its way through him was immediately triggered at the mere sight of her name flashing on his screen. James shook his head as if to clear all thoughts before hitting answer.

“Hello?” he answered, trying his best to hide in a false greeting.

“Where are you?” Olivia’s voice commanded in a way only she could.

“I… I’m taking a walk, remember? I told you earlier I was talking a walk on the boardwalk.”

“Earlier? It’s been two hours James. There is nothing in this worthless town that could keep you busy for two hours. Home. Now!”

The call dropped before he could hit end call. He slowly began to put the phone back in his pocket, but thought better of it and turned the screen back on. Without thinking he started the camera function and pointed it in the direction of the raven haired songstress. Snapping two quick pictures of her from a distance was enough to appease him for the time being.

As intriguing and beautiful as the girl was, he couldn’t figure out why he felt so drawn to her. He’d seen plenty of beautiful girls. His school had been full of them. But there was more than just beauty to this girl. Sure, her voice was captivating, and she had an interesting style, but beyond that, she was just a girl. The single thought that kept repeating over and over in his worn and ragged minds was that he needed to see her eyes. He felt like he would understand the enormity of it all if he could just see her eyes. It was an odd thought to have, especially if you consider that had his plans went in his favor, would most likely be on the road to the morgue by now.

His path home took him past her again. This time, playing up his tourist status, he stopped just past their little group and looked out over the railing as if he were looking for someone lost in the sea of people on the beach. James could hear her humming the song again, even a little louder now, but still just as light and airy as before. She seemed so carefree and oblivious to anything but whatever song was playing through her. James felt a twinge of jealousy at that; he wanted to experience that level of light-heartedness. He could have stayed there all day if it was close to her. But the vibration of his phone once again brought him back to the reality of his life. Turning away from the mystery girl, he headed home to appease the dragon lady.

Thoughts of suicide didn’t creep back into his mind for the rest of that day. Only thoughts of the girl were swirling, and even Olivia’s whining demands didn’t sway the feeling she’d left him with. Still, he couldn’t understand why the fleeting sight of a beautiful girl would control his every thought. Why he couldn’t shake it. Why, suddenly, she was haunting him? Once he arrived home, he spent the next few hours of tackling an absurd task of busy work by order the dragon lady. A task that consisted of him rifling through the attic to find her precious summer linens and sparkling silver for a dinner party. James was beginning to feel his hopelessness set in again.

With every box that he opened in the despairing heat, he felt more defeated and the image of the beautiful girl with the haunting voice faded further away. Olivia was shouting directions at him from below as streams of sweat from the sweltering attic ran down his face and stung his eyes. There had been at least a hundred and fifty boxes in that space that she expected him to look through. If Olivia didn’t have her special silver and linens for her dinner party the next evening, even the Devil would put up the ‘No Vacancy’ sign and hide in fear for her wrath was the stuff of legends.

When he finally was nearly at the end, Olivia called up from below that she had found the linens and silver in the spare bedroom closet. James stood speechless. There was a hint of something in her voice that was far too chipper. He wouldn’t have put it past her to have known where they were the entire time.

“You can come down now James,” she sang from below, “I have what I need. You can go back to your room, you won’t be needed again this evening.”

With that, she was gone. James looked around the attic and swiped at his burning eyes with his sweaty arm. He climbed down from the attic and as he made his way back to his mother’s bathroom, he noticed her car pulling out of the driveway from the large bay window on the second floor. Smiling, he went back into her bathroom and took a long, cold shower and made sure to forget to wash out the tub and leave the towels in a heap on the floor. Before heading back to his room, James swiped the pills from the medicine cabinet and didn’t even bother to close it this time.

James dressed in his most comfortable shirt, the one piece of clothing that Olivia didn’t buy him. It was a concert T-shirt from when he went to see a band with his brother Kevin. It was faded black and worn enough that the seams were stressed around the collar. James grabbed a pair of the jeans he kept on hand for the absurd jobs Olivia had him do. They were ripped at the knees and in one of the back pockets. She hated the jeans, which was precisely why he had to wear them that night.

Dusk came that day in broad strokes of pinks, purples, and golds. Once the summer sun had set on the western horizon, the sky was left with color that no artists’ eye could match. James closed the front door of his parent’s home behind him and smiled at the view that laid out before him. Unlike that afternoon, he was very much enticed by the sights and sounds around him. He was now a man with a plan; a plan that he concluded while wiping sweat from his face in an attic that wasn’t fit for any living thing to be in. He wanted to be in his most comfortable clothes, eat as much of the local fare as he could with the few dollars he had scrounged together. Finally, if he had enough left over, he was going to buy a few tickets and ride the biggest coaster the pier had to offer, ‘The Poltergeist’.

When he was done sampling some funnel cake and riding the rides, he planned on walking to the furthest end of the boardwalk; where the tourist attractions were only a distant glow, and the small beach cottages dwindled down to nothing at the entrance of the inlet. There, he would find a bench, open the pills and sit there until he died or the sun came up over the ocean. Either way, he had no plans on going back to Olivia’s monstrosity of a home again that evening.

James enjoyed every bite of the sticky, sugar coated dough and screamed wildly as the wind from The Poltergeist whipped his hair around into a frenzy. After he exited the ride, he scanned the crowd and hoped maybe to get one more glimpse of the mystery girl. Instead, the boardwalk was now engulfed in families out for a summer evening to enjoy the rides, games, and treats. Lots of dads, moms, and kids, all clamoring for one more this or that; all these people that didn’t seem to have a care in the world.

James sighed, and looked up into the sky, not sure what he was hoping for exactly. “Dream a Little Dream of Me” floated into his head again, and this time with it he had a very vivid memory of a woman sitting on the edge of his bed, humming and singing that song to him. He couldn’t have been more than four or five because his favorite stuffed bear was firmly tucked under his arm, and that bear had been lost in a Nordstrom when he was six. Olivia refused to go back to try and find it for him.

In the middle of a crowd of overweight and over tired people, James closed out the world and dove into the memory that he was gifted. The song was clear, the woman’s voice was too, and the imagery in the recollection was as precise and strong as anything could be. James let the memory play out until the end of the song when he could picture the woman bending down to close to his cheek, and he could feel the softness that only an elderly woman’s face could offer. The scent of her perfume, Chanel No. 5, was so strong it was as if she was right there next to him at the foot of ‘The Poltergeist’ attraction.

“I love you, Jimmy,” she whispered. He could feel the warmth of her breath on his face and involuntarily placed a hand to his cheek, “I love you more than the ocean loves the moon. You’re my light and greatest love, my dear boy. Sleep well, and dream of me.”

“Gran…” James said aloud to no one, which was good because no one heard him. He smiled at the thought of his grandmother and was instantly sad because he had seemingly forgotten her. In the depression that had weighed him down for so many years, all the thoughts of her had gone by the wayside. But now, he remembered. He remembered everything about her, all thanks to the song that beautiful girl sang without abandon on a boardwalk on a hot July afternoon.

Suddenly, it all made sense. Gran had loved him best, and their bond was strong beyond reason. Olivia was intensely jealous of her own mother’s love for her youngest son. James can remember thinking that as a child, and was unable to understand the depth of his mother’s insecurities back then. Now, it all was clearer than the summer sky had been earlier that afternoon.

James started his long trek towards the inlet, mulling over the events of the day as he walked. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and felt the bottle of pills under the tips of his fingers. For the first time since deciding to follow through with the revised plan, doubt crept in. Maybe this wasn’t the right decision and he needed to consider it all again. He stopped at a bench that was still at least a hundred yards from his destination and looked out over the ocean.

The moon hung low over the ocean and offered enough light to see the waves breaking on the shoreline. Stars were out too but dulled due to the ambient lights of the boardwalk and pier. As James looked out over the beach, he noticed a group out on the sand. He could hear yelling, but not in distress. He could make out five or six people tossing around a Frisbee, laughing and shouting at one another. James watched them with quiet resentment. If his life had been different, maybe that could’ve been him. But it wasn’t and now his life was almost over. He touched the pills in his pocket again and stayed for another moment to watch the group of friends.

James turned to finish his walk to the inlet and standing a stone’s throw away was the mystery girl from the afternoon. She was wrapped in a blanket with no shoes on her feet. Her black hair caught the light of the moon and flashed purple as she tilted her head and smiled at him.

“Hey,” she said with a smile still lingering, “you can come down to play if you want.”

James was frozen in that moment. He gave her an awkward smile in return and could manage to say, “Ok.”

“C’mon,” she motioned for him to follow her as she hoped the rail and jumped down onto the beach.

James kicked off his shoes once he landed on the cool sand and caught up to her before they reached the group.

“I’m James by the way. What’s your name?”

“They call me Scar,” she chuckled and turned to him, and in that moment, he was finally able to see her eyes. Even though her pupils were as large as the moon that lit their way down the beach, he could still see the stormy blue that encased them. She was kind and genuine. He could see that in her easily.

“I saw you on the boardwalk today,” he said, unable to stop himself from confessing, “you were playing guitar and singing.”

“Yeah, yeah I was. You saw me, huh?” The thought seemed to amuse her. She stopped walking and turned to face him.

“I did. I was trying not to stare, but the song…”

“Dream?”

“Yes. I like it. The song, I mean. Caught my attention.”

“Good. Did it make you smile?”

James nodded. “Made me remember something from a long time ago. Something I needed to remember.”

“Cool. That’s what music is supposed to do. Make you feel something. Cause if you can’t feel anything, what’s the point of being alive?”

She paused and looked up into the sky. James watched as she closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath of the salty air. When she looked at him again, James saw an enormous amount of joy and life in her that made him smile.

“Jimmy,” she continued, “there ain’t nothin’ better than being alive.”

Scar laughed and took off into a slow run to meet up with her group. James stood there in a moment of contemplation. Only Gran had ever called him Jimmy. Maybe, this girl was the prayer he asked for that day on the boardwalk. With a big smile now of his own, James turned and caught up with Scar and her friends.

He tossed the Frisbee around with the group for a bit, but before long several of them broke into smaller groups and staggered down towards the shoreline. James watched Scar go off on her own and walk through the surf. Since he’d left his parent’s house, the wind had kicked up a bit and the waves had begun breaking harder than they were before. He kept a careful watch on her, trying to decide if she should follow her down and make sure she was ok.

James watched she teased the edge of the ocean with her toes. He watched as she inched closer and closer, her legs disappearing a little more each time into the frothy surf. One of her friends shouted something from off in the distance which took his attention away from her for a moment. When he turned back, she was gone, swept into the ocean and unable to fight the current.

James noticed she was still blue. Scar had responded initially to the CPR, but she didn’t look right, something was still wrong. He had left his cell phone back home thinking he wouldn’t need it anymore, but now he wishes he had it to call 911. He commanded one her friends to go call for an ambulance, but before they could even comprehend what he was saying, Scar fell back on the sand and began to seize. Finally, the tall guy with the tattoo sleeves took off down the beach, sprinting towards one of the bungalows. James could only watch in horror as this beautiful girl, that was so full of life and kindness only an hour before, was now dying in front of him.

By the time the ambulance arrived, she was gone. When the official interviews were done, and the band of grieving friends had dispersed, James was left sitting alone on the beach. He looked out over the horizon and saw the first gleams of the day’s light. The dead girl’s face was now burned into his memory, along with the song that she sang during her last day on Earth. It was in that moment James realized what it was that he needed to do. Ending his life was not the answer. Starting his life was. He would go back, take anything of value he could, and he would leave without saying a word.

The adrenaline of the life and death events of the past day carried him back to his parent’s home to gather what he could. When he closed the door behind him, he felt a smile creep onto his face. For the first time in his life, he had nowhere to go and no resources to get there, but it was also the first time he felt free from the shackles of a miserable existence. As he started walking down the main drag of the sleepy tourist shore town, he was struck with the irony of how it took the death of this stranger to inspire him to start living his own life. And, he planned to do just that. The further away he got from the repression of Olivia and Wallace’s control, the more he felt his fear of the unknown slip away. He was going to live in a way that was both for him and the raven-haired beauty that reminded him of life, love, and laughter.

Putting everything behind him, James stepped foot onto the train and bought a ticket for the furthest destination he could afford. As the train left the station, and the conductor’s announcements were complete, the music overhead began playing. James watched as the small town disappeared into the distance, as the familiar melody of “Dream a Little Dream of Me” played from the speakers above him. He smiled and hummed along.

[dragongirl-writes]

Boardwalk Junkies

Summary: The day James decides to take his own life, he encounters a girl that shows him what it's like to live. Until death rears its ugly head anyway.

Trigger warning: Character death, talk of suicide & implication of drug use

Word Count: 5146

The first day he saw her was the same day she died. Her jet black hair soaked, plastered to her face as they pulled her limp body from the water. He watched as her friends stood surrounding her, staring. No one moved to help her. In seconds he was kneeling at the strange girl’s side, preparing to do mouth to mouth as her friends stood looking on in a drug-induced haze, unsure if she was playing a joke or seriously laying there, dead. He felt no breath coming from her lips and heard no heart beating in her chest. He looked again at the face that had captivated him all day and knew he couldn’t let her die. He hadn’t even gotten a chance to learn her real name yet.

He placed his mouth to hers, swiftly and accurately performing CPR until she finally seemed to respond. A gush of water burst from her mouth and once the sounds of her gurgling gasps broke the silence of the early summer night, James sat back on his heels and began to quietly cry. The sound of the girl struggling for air seemed to bring her friends’ sobriety back. Pushing him out of the way, they ensconced her. He stepped back, giving the small band of comrades some room. He was, after all, the outsider. He shouldn’t have even been down on the beach with these kids.

Twelve hours earlier, he was staring at a pallid reflection of himself in his mother’s bathroom mirror. The deep blue eyes resembling the color of the sky on a stormy summer day stared back at him. But they didn’t look familiar anymore. All he could see were dead, listless remnants of what used to be there. In the six years since his brother had left for college, James’s life had been steadily heading downhill. Constant belittling lectures and the controlling grip from his father had become borderline aggressive. His mother was always anxious and annoyed, which caused her to wear an expression of disgust that could scare away the likes of Rosemary’s baby.

It was slow at first. He thought they were taking out their frustrations on him after Kevin had left when he was ten, but as the years went on, it never got better. The slow descent into despair picked up speed by the time he turned fifteen. For years his sole salvation was the knowledge that upon his eighteenth birthday he could be free of both of them and the life they were steadily mapping out for him. But when eighteen came and went, and there was no escape in sight, he searched for another way out revealed itself. James thought about just packing up and leaving, but there was nothing for him to take. He had no money of his own, no transportation, nowhere to go. He thought he could go away to college and be free of these people who were supposed to care for him, but their plan for him didn’t include college. As far as he knew, he was stuck.

Sliding back the bathroom mirror, James carefully studied each small bottle of pills hoping to find one that would end it for him quickly. He had stashed away a fifth of vodka to wash down the pills of his choice but just wanted to find the right ones. His worst fear wasn’t of the death itself, but of his parents finding him half dead and bringing him to a hospital. The wrath that would come down upon him would be worse than anything he could do to himself. James could already hear his father’s voice and knew the words that would be spat at him for attempting to end his own life. Suicide was the coward’s way out, and Wallace Carter wouldn’t have his youngest son be called a coward.

Deciding on a cocktail of pills, he began to pull down the various bottles, when his mother’s voice boomed from down the hallway. He could hear her ordering around one of the various maids and quickly put the bottles away before she could discover his thievery. Without thinking, he flushed the empty toilet and pretended to wash his hands before opening the door and leaving the bathroom. If she was in the hallway, there would be no getting around the dragon lady he called his mother. He emerged, saddened that his escape would have to wait until later, and came face to face with his mother, Olivia.

“What are you doing in my bathroom?” she asked with an anxious sort of contempt. “Don’t you have your own bathroom?”

“Sorry mom, I was here looking for you and had to go so I used yours.”

“Well, I hope you didn’t leave the seat up.”

“No ma’am,” James said, head down looking at his shoes.

“Fine. Well, what do you want then?” Olivia was just dismissive now, she never really could be bothered with him unless she needed him to do something for her. But James could never tell if it was because she had mixed the wine with the Xanax again, or solely because of his existence.

Struggling to think of a reason to have needed her, and coming up empty he replied, “I, um, just wanted to tell you I was going to go for a walk on the boardwalk.”

“Fine.” She turned on her heel and vanished into her bedroom so quickly and with a minor stumble. Maybe today’s cold front was the result of pinot and pills, and not because he dared to be in her line of sight.

James stepped out of his family’s summer home on the Jersey Shore and looked out over the dunes. Empty sands lay before him, but only for about two hundred yards. Beyond that, hundreds of beachgoers littered the pristine sandy shore, all oiled and baking in the hot sun. The glare off the ocean was enough to cause an immediate headache, but that was a welcome feeling over the anxiety his mother always left him with, no matter how brief the interaction had been.

As he approached the crowded boardwalk, he couldn’t help but wonder why his parents chose that location for a new summer home. In years past they had owned homes in Martha’s Vineyard and out in the Hamptons. Not that he cared for either of those places, but this small seaside Jersey town seemed so far out of his parents’ scope that there had to be a reason behind the choice. Maybe that’s what caused his mother to be more bitter and bitchy than usual. The area was definitely more blue collar than blue-blooded, and that couldn’t be sitting well with the dragon lady.

The boardwalk was a little more than half a mile long and home to two miniature golf courses, and one pier of rides geared towards families with younger children. There was a vast array of food and drink vendors, along with at least four different arcades. Even though the ocean was a stone’s throw away, the air was filled with an aromatic mix of funnel cake, sausage and pepper sandwiches, pizza, cotton candy, and suntan lotion. Thrown between that were different boardwalk games you could participate in for a grand ole price of fifty cents. Excited screams of children’s laughter carried on the breeze, fading in and out as the summer wind whipped through the dunes.

The smells and sounds of the boardwalk that most people relished in neither enticed him or repelled him. The walk, after all, was nothing more than a plot device to get him out of his parents’ house. James shuffled his way down the weathered wooden boards, dragging his feet, hands in pockets and oblivious to life happening around him. His mind kept going back to the pills and vodka that waited for him back at the house. While that option was still viable a bit later, he wondered why it had to be that way. Why did he feel that ending his life was the only way to be free?

James lifted his face to the heat of the sun overhead and said a silent prayer for guidance. He didn’t know exactly who the words were directed to—the universe maybe? God? Perhaps. James didn’t really care, he just wanted something to help him figure out a better way to get through the miserable existence he called life.

As he stood there, feeling the sun sizzle on his skin, the breeze once again carried away the sounds of the children and replaced it with a melody that was familiar, but still too distant to name it. James opened his eyes and began to look around for the source of the music. The boardwalk suddenly seemed even more crowded with his view constantly being blocked. He walked another few yards down until he spotted a small crowd of kids around his age gathered near one of the benches that looked out over the beach. James tried to get closer to them in a roundabout way, without being noticed but it seemed the largest of the beach going tourists liked to stand in as an unknowing guard, blocking his view.

Finally, the group of tourists moved on, and James could not only get a clear view but a better hold of the melody that captured his attention. One of the guys in the group, a taller than average kid, with a shaved head and two arm sleeves of tattoos stepped aside, enabling him to catch his first glimpse of her, the girl with the guitar.

Her hair hung long past her shoulders and shone so black that it cast off a purple glow. Her face was cast down towards her guitar as she played the chords that were now glaringly obvious to him. When he finally had that chance to see her for the first time, sitting there on the ground picking at a guitar, everything else around him faded away. There were no more sounds of children and the Carnival style music playing from the rides was no longer audible. There were only the raven-haired girl and her guitar. She was strumming softly and singing even softer, but he could somehow hear all the notes and words to “Dream a Little Dream of Me”.

James knew the song well. Even though it had been years since he’d last heard it, it was a tune that would never leave his memory. He was drawn to it, but couldn’t exactly place why. Maybe someone used to sing it to him, but no clear memory of who it could have been. All he had was a feeling attached to the song; a feeling of love.

He couldn’t imagine how he had heard her in the first place over the noise of the boardwalk. No one else in her small circle seemed to even notice that she was singing. She sat on the splintered boards, head now lying back against the railing with her eyes shut and face turned up towards the sun. From across the boardwalk, he studied her; completely unaware of how hard he had been staring. In a space of minutes, he was drinking in every detail of her as she slipped into the chorus.

“Stars fading but I linger on, dear

Still craving your kiss

I’m longing to linger till dawn, dear

Just saying this…”

She wore rings on nearly every finger, and even from this distance, he could see a cluster of small star-shaped tattoos on her strumming hand. Then, something one of her friends said caused her to stop singing and burst out into a laugh that caused him to smile too.

Suddenly feeling conspicuous about watching the girl, he walked a little further ahead and found an empty bench to sit on. He found her in the crowd again and watched as she struck a match and light a cigarette. She had ceased singing the song, and still, there was something about her that he couldn’t let go of. Something that caused him to forget his surroundings, forget that he was sitting on a crowded boardwalk staring at a stranger.

From somewhere deep in his pocket, a vibration brought James back from his hypnotic stare. The life happening around him began to come back into focus; the smells, sounds and people buzzing around him. Another vibration from deep in his pocket snapped him back to reality completely. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and saw MOM flashing on the call screen. Immediate dread washed away any good feelings the strange girl stirred in him. Wanting to silence the phone and go on observing, James knew there was no escaping Olivia. Just the thought of her brought back the image of the pills and his original plans for the day. The unease and anxiety that was slowly working its way through him were immediately triggered at the mere sight of her name flashing on his screen. James shook his head as if to clear all thoughts before answering.

“Hello?” he answered, trying his best to hide in a false greeting.

“Where are you?” Olivia’s voice commanded in a way only she could.

“I… I’m taking a walk, remember? I told you earlier I was talking a walk on the boardwalk.”

“Earlier? It’s been two hours James. There is nothing in this worthless town that could keep you busy for two hours. Home. Now!”

The call dropped before he could hit end call. He slowly began to put the phone back in his pocket, but thought better of it and turned the screen back on. Without thinking he started the camera function and pointed it in the direction of the raven hairaven-hairedss. Snapping two quick pictures of her from a distance was enough to appease him for the time being.

As intriguing and beautiful as the girl was, he couldn’t figure out why he felt so drawn to her. He’d seen plenty of beautiful girls. His school had been full of them. But there was more than just beauty to this girl. Sure, her voice was captivating, and she had an interesting style, but beyond that, she was just a girl. The single thought that kept repeating over and over in his worn and ragged minds was that he needed to see her eyes. He felt like he would understand the enormity of it all if he could just see her eyes. It was an odd thought to have, especially if you consider that had his plans went in his favor, would most likely be on the road to the morgue by now.

His path home took him past her again. This time, playing up his tourist status, he stopped just past their little group and looked out over the railing as if he were looking for someone lost in the sea of people on the beach. James could hear her humming the song again, even a little louder now, but still just as light and airy as before. She seemed so carefree and oblivious to anything but whatever song was playing through her. James felt a twinge of jealousy at that; he wanted to experience that level of light-heartedness. He could have stayed there all day if it was close to her. But the vibration of his phone once again brought him back to the reality of his life. Turning away from the mystery girl, he headed home to appease the dragon lady.

Thoughts of suicide didn’t creep back into his mind for the rest of that day. Only thoughts of the girl were swirling, and even Olivia’s whining demands didn’t sway the feeling she’d left him with. Still, he couldn’t understand why the fleeting sight of a beautiful girl would control his every thought. Why he couldn’t shake it. Why, suddenly, she was haunting him? Once he arrived home, he spent the next few hours of tackling an absurd task of busy work by order the dragon lady. A task that consisted of him rifling through the attic to find her precious summer linens and sparkling silver for a dinner party. James was beginning to feel his hopelessness set in again.

With every box that he opened in the despairing heat, he felt more defeated and the image of the beautiful girl with the haunting voice faded further away. Olivia was shouting directions at him from below as streams of sweat from the sweltering attic ran down his face and stung his eyes. There had been at least a hundred and fifty boxes in that space that she expected him to look through. If Olivia didn’t have her special silver and linens for her dinner party the next evening, even the Devil would put up the ‘No Vacancy’ sign and hide in fear for her wrath was the stuff of legends.

When he finally was nearly at the end, Olivia called up from below that she had found the linens and silver in the spare bedroom closet. James stood speechless. There was a hint of something in her voice that was far too chipper. He wouldn’t have put it past her to have known where they were the entire time.

“You can come down now James,” she sang from below, “I have what I need. You can go back to your room, you won’t be needed again this evening.”

With that, she was gone. James looked around the attic and swiped at his burning eyes with his sweaty arm. He climbed down from the attic and as he made his way back to his mother’s bathroom, he noticed her car pulling out of the driveway from the large bay window on the second floor. Smiling, he went back into her bathroom and took a long, cold shower and made sure to forget to wash out the tub and leave the towels in a heap on the floor. Before heading back to his room, James swiped the pills from the medicine cabinet and didn’t even bother to close it this time.

James dressed in his most comfortable shirt, the one piece of clothing that Olivia didn’t buy him. It was a concert T-shirt from when he went to see a band with his brother Kevin. It was faded black and worn enough that the seams were stressed around the collar. James grabbed a pair of the jeans he kept on hand for the absurd jobs Olivia had him do. They were ripped at the knees and in one of the back pockets. She hated the jeans, which was precisely why he had to wear them that night.

Dusk came that day in broad strokes of pinks, purples, and golds. Once the summer sun had set on the western horizon, the sky was left with color that no artists’ eye could match. James closed the front door of his parent’s home behind him and smiled at the view that laid out before him. Unlike that afternoon, he was very much enticed by the sights and sounds around him. He was now a man with a plan; a plan that he concluded while wiping sweat from his face in an attic that wasn’t fit for any living thing to be in. He wanted to be in his most comfortable clothes, eat as much of the local fare as he could with the few dollars he had scrounged together. Finally, if he had enough left over, he was going to buy a few tickets and ride the biggest coaster the pier had to offer, ‘The Poltergeist’.

When he was done sampling some funnel cake and riding the rides, he planned on walking to the furthest end of the boardwalk; where the tourist attractions were only a distant glow, and the small beach cottages dwindled down to nothing at the entrance of the inlet. There, he would find a bench, open the pills and sit there until he died or the sun came up over the ocean. Either way, he had no plans on going back to Olivia’s monstrosity of a home again that evening.

James enjoyed every bite of the sticky, sugar coated dough and screamed wildly as the wind from The Poltergeist whipped his hair around into a frenzy. After he exited the ride, he scanned the crowd and hoped maybe to get one more glimpse of the mystery girl. Instead, the boardwalk was now engulfed in families out for a summer evening to enjoy the rides, games, and treats. Lots of dads, moms, and kids, all clamoring for one more this or that; all these people that didn’t seem to have a care in the world.

James sighed, and looked up into the sky, not sure what he was hoping for exactly. “Dream a Little Dream of Me” floated into his head again, and this time with it he had a very vivid memory of a woman sitting on the edge of his bed, humming and singing that song to him. He couldn’t have been more than four or five because his favorite stuffed bear was firmly tucked under his arm, and that bear had been lost in a Nordstrom when he was six. Olivia refused to go back to try and find it for him.

In the middle of a crowd of overweight and over tired people, James closed out the world and dove into the memory that he was gifted. The song was clear, the woman’s voice was too, and the imagery in the recollection was as precise and strong as anything could be. James let the memory play out until the end of the song when he could picture the woman bending down to close to his cheek, and he could feel the softness that only an elderly woman’s face could offer. The scent of her perfume, Chanel No. 5, was so strong it was as if she was right there next to him at the foot of ‘The Poltergeist’ attraction.

“I love you, Jimmy,” she whispered. He could feel the warmth of her breath on his face and involuntarily placed a hand to his cheek, “I love you more than the ocean loves the moon. You’re my light and greatest love, my dear boy. Sleep well, and dream of me.”

“Gran…” James said aloud to no one, which was good because no one heard him. He smiled at the thought of his grandmother and was instantly sad because he had seemingly forgotten her. In the depression that had weighed him down for so many years, all the thoughts of her had gone by the wayside. But now, he remembered. He remembered everything about her, all thanks to the song that beautiful girl sang without abandon on a boardwalk on a hot July afternoon.

Suddenly, it all made sense. Gran had loved him best, and their bond was strong beyond reason. Olivia was intensely jealous of her own mother’s love for her youngest son. James can remember thinking that as a child, and was unable to understand the depth of his mother’s insecurities back then. Now, it all was clearer than the summer sky had been earlier that afternoon.

James started his long trek towards the inlet, mulling over the events of the day as he walked. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and felt the bottle of pills under the tips of his fingers. For the first time since deciding to follow through with the revised plan, doubt crept in. Maybe this wasn’t the right decision and he needed to consider it all again. He stopped at a bench that was still at least a hundred yards from his destination and looked out over the ocean.

The moon hung low over the ocean and offered enough light to see the waves breaking on the shoreline. Stars were out too but dulled due to the ambient lights of the boardwalk and pier. As James looked out over the beach, he noticed a group out on the sand. He could hear yelling, but not in distress. He could make out five or six people tossing around a Frisbee, laughing and shouting at one another. James watched them with quiet resentment. If his life had been different, maybe that could’ve been him. But it wasn’t and now his life was almost over. He touched the pills in his pocket again and stayed for another moment to watch the group of friends.

James turned to finish his walk to the inlet and standing a stone’s throw away was the mystery girl from the afternoon. She was wrapped in a blanket with no shoes on her feet. Her black hair caught the light of the moon and flashed purple as she tilted her head and smiled at him.

“Hey,” she said with a smile still lingering, “you can come down to play if you want.”

James was frozen in that moment. He gave her an awkward smile in return and could manage to say, “Ok.”

“C’mon,” she motioned for him to follow her as she hoped the rail and jumped down onto the beach.

James kicked off his shoes once he landed on the cool sand and caught up to her before they reached the group.

“I’m James by the way. What’s your name?”

“They call me Scar,” she chuckled and turned to him, and in that moment, he was finally able to see her eyes. Even though her pupils were as large as the moon that lit their way down the beach, he could still see the stormy blue that encased them. She was kind and genuine. He could see that in her easily.

“I saw you on the boardwalk today,” he said, unable to stop himself from confessing, “you were playing guitar and singing.”

“Yeah, yeah I was. You saw me, huh?” The thought seemed to amuse her. She stopped walking and turned to face him.

“I did. I was trying not to stare, but the song…”

“Dream?”

“Yes. I like it. The song, I mean. Caught my attention.”

“Good. Did it make you smile?”

James nodded. “Made me remember something from a long time ago. Something I needed to remember.”

“Cool. That’s what music is supposed to do. Make you feel something. Cause if you can’t feel anything, what’s the point of being alive?”

She paused and looked up into the sky. James watched as she closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath of the salty air. When she looked at him again, James saw an enormous amount of joy and life in her that made him smile.

“Jimmy,” she continued, “there ain’t nothin’ better than being alive.”

Scar laughed and took off into a slow run to meet up with her group. James stood there in a moment of contemplation. Only Gran had ever called him Jimmy. Maybe, this girl was the prayer he asked for that day on the boardwalk. With a big smile now of his own, James turned and caught up with Scar and her friends.

He tossed the Frisbee around with the group for a bit, but before long several of them broke into smaller groups and staggered down towards the shoreline. James watched Scar go off on her own and walk through the surf. Since he’d left his parent’s house, the wind had kicked up a bit and the waves had begun breaking harder than they were before. He kept a careful watch on her, trying to decide if she should follow her down and make sure she was ok.

James watched she teased the edge of the ocean with her toes. He watched as she inched closer and closer, her legs disappearing a little more each time into the frothy surf. One of her friends shouted something from off in the distance which took his attention away from her for a moment. When he turned back, she was gone, swept into the ocean and unable to fight the current.

James noticed she was still blue. Scar had responded initially to the CPR, but she didn’t look right, something was still wrong. He had left his cell phone back home thinking he wouldn’t need it anymore, but now he wishes he had it to call 911. He commanded one her friends to go call for an ambulance, but before they could even comprehend what he was saying, Scar fell back on the sand and began to seize. Finally, the tall guy with the tattoo sleeves took off down the beach, sprinting towards one of the bungalows. James could only watch in horror as this beautiful girl, that was so full of life and kindness only an hour before, was now dying in front of him.

By the time the ambulance arrived, she was gone. When the official interviews were done, and the band of grieving friends had dispersed, James was left sitting alone on the beach. He looked out over the horizon and saw the first gleams of the day’s light. The dead girl’s face was now burned into his memory, along with the song that she sang during her last day on Earth. It was in that moment James realized what it was that he needed to do. Ending his life was not the answer. Starting his life was. He would go back, take anything of value he could, and he would leave without saying a word.

The adrenaline of the life and death events of the past day carried him back to his parent’s home to gather what he could. When he closed the door behind him, he felt a smile creep onto his face. For the first time in his life, he had nowhere to go and no resources to get there, but it was also the first time he felt free from the shackles of a miserable existence. As he started walking down the main drag of the sleepy tourist shore town, he was struck with the irony of how it took the death of this stranger to inspire him to start living his own life. And, he planned to do just that. The further away he got from the repression of Olivia and Wallace’s control, the more he felt his fear of the unknown slip away. He was going to live in a way that was both for him and the raven-haired beauty that reminded him of life, love, and laughter.

Putting everything behind him, James stepped foot onto the train and bought a ticket for the furthest destination he could afford. As the train left the station, and the conductor’s announcements were complete, the music overhead began playing. James watched as the small town disappeared into the distance, as the familiar melody of “Dream a Little Dream of Me” played from the speakers above him. He smiled and hummed along.

[thealternatelifeform]

Tagged by @gambalt (and here goes the usual thing again with the not having time at first and then completely forgetting later)

How long have you been a Sonic Fan? I dunno, it seems like 4 years or so..  I didn’t get into the franchise at all until I played Sonic Generations - and it had been out for a little while, but before Lost World was even announced.  I guess since 2012 or early 2013?

First sonic game played: Sonic 1 - the original - the OG - the one before the best fictional character ever conceived of was.... conceived.

Top 3 Favorite Characters: (if you thought I was referencing CD and the birth of Amy HOO BOY HAVE I GOT -... nevermind) Tails, Sonic, then I guess Knuckles?  It’s harder to pin down my third favorite - it’d have to be a tie between at least a couple of the guys - Knuckles, Shadow, I liked Silver at one time, but now that I think about it, his actual character in-game is pretty bland.

Favorite Vocal Track: At an earlier time, I’d have probably said Live & Learn or another Crush 40 song from the same era (although I still love those), but lately I’ve had the credits theme from Sonic Colors stuck in my head more often than others - Speak With Your Heart.  Sure, it’s not exactly innovative in the lyrical department, but it’s at the end of a fun little game, it’s a feel-good tune, it’s catchy, and it sorta makes me think of Sonic & Tails’s friendship.

Favorite non-vocal track: Oh gees, it’s gonna be impossible to pin down a favorite here..  What came to mind right off the bat was the Sonic Generations soundtrack.  I’ll just say Sonic Generations Speed Highway - Classic. 

Top 3 Games: Sonic Generations, Sonic Colors...  and I guess Unleashed?  I’ve never played Unleashed, but I just like the gameplay style common to all of those games.  I didn’t grow up playing Sonic 3 - the last of the original games I’d played were Sonic 2 and Sonic Spinball, though I hear Sonic 3 (& Knuckles) is the popular favorite amongst classic Sonic fans.

Top 5 Stages: I dunno - I’ll just name the first five pleasant ones I’ve played that come to mind.  Speed Highway (both Generations versions), Seaside Hill - Modern Generations Version, Rooftop Run - Modern Generations, City Escape - All versions really, Carnival Night Zone especially with the All-Stars Racing Transformed remix of the tune.

Favorite Team, (Team Rose, Sonic, Dark, Chaotix): Team Sonic, of course.

Favorite game intro: As far as “best” IMO as far as like.. animation-wise and everything, for now I’m just gonna have to say the Sonic Riders intro.  The music is painfully cheesy (yes, even for Sonic music XD), but the animation style is cool (the same guys who did Attack on Titan... what?) and of course, the part where Sonic saves Tails.

Which game has the best story: Even though there’s the whole “every human is apparently racist against hedgehogs” thing - I’d have to say Sonic Adventure 2.  It’s got the most complex story and its story is probably the most relevant to the series as a whole.  Unleashed is good, too, but I feel it’s kinda forgettable, especially because we don’t seem to get any mention of the events ever again (not in the games, anyway).

2D, 3D, or Both: 3D, definitely.  Even though I grew up with a lot of 2D games, as far as Sonic games go, I prefer the rush of speed in the 3D games to the plaforming and stuff in the 2D games.  Although I haven’t played much of the more modern 2D Sonic stuff.

Sonic Mania or Sonic Forces: Even though I just said 3D up there - I’d have to say Mania.  We actually see what that’s turning into, and they’ve got Christian Whitehead on the dev team.  It’s sounding awesome so far.  And then we’ve got Sonic Forces (insert joke here like “..his opinions on others”) with the whole “yeah, we brought back Classic Sonic even though we said we weren’t going to - also, doesn’t look like any other characters are going to be terribly relevant... or playable.... oh and no, you can’t see any gameplay or anything, fuck you.

Which character(s) would you want to see in the Boom show: All the favs are there, but I wish when they had Shadow cameo, they didn’t just turn him into the memey version of him.  I guess I wanna say I hope Shadow comes back after he’s had his morning coffee.

Best Sonic Show: SatAM, I guess?  Sonic X fell flat on its face after the first couple of episodes, and had its moments after that.  Boom isn’t what I originally hoped it might be - but SatAM had an actual plot going, and from I remember of it, I really liked it.  I recently rewatched some of the early episodes and still liked them, too.

Favorite Sonic Era:  Tie between Dreamcast era and Modern era, I suppose.  Give us Sonic Unleashed gameplay with Dreamcast story and Chao Gardens!

Tag 5 or more people: A certain someone already tagged pretty much everyone I’d tag.