#I was going for a more empress dowager look to be unique but it doesn’t really suit him I think lol ^^

[royaltea000]

Qitian dasheng and other outfit concept sketches

[dangermousie]

Yes, I am writing meta about Xie Wanru

This is largely inspired by @orsuliya‘s excellent post and discussion in the comments...

And that is I realized I feel rather sorry for her even if she’s a total garbage human being. Even Dowager Empress has someone who at one point loved her sincerely and still feels something (Minister Wen) but Wanru is unloved and unlovable and she knows the former.

She starts her life as a usual upper-class lady - sure she’s spoiled and classist and not good about political stuff, but if she married some mid-rank minister who liked her and was his principal wife, she’d never turn into his harpy.

Instead she gets raped by Potato (and raped by mistake! He was thinking she was someone else!!!! Not that rape is desirable no matter what but she cannot even delude herself that he was so overcome by passion he wanted her no matter what or whatever other comforting lie she’d want to tell herself) and marries him and even if there was not such horrific start to the marriage, and if Potato didn’t actually want Awu instead, Potato has nothing to inspire a woman to love him or even rely on him.

And the thing - she keeps looking around and sees others have what she does not, whether it’s love, capable men or both. She has struck out in a fairly unique way. She gets to see Zitan carry a genuine torch for Awu, even as Awu has moved on. She sees Awu’s husband (who she did not want herself but who is powerful) love and care for Awu publicly. She sees Mi’er be loved and cherished by Zilu more than his own life. She sees that the old emperor genuinely loved Concubine Xie. Hell, if she looks at the marriage of e.g., Awu’s parents, at least Awu’s mom has a husband who has a brain. And then here she is, not any worse born than any of the rest of them and she has a husband who never wanted her or loved her, who raped her!, and who is about as reliable as a piece of paper.

There is a reason she never explicitly brings up how good Xiao Qi is to Awu in comparison (though someone pointed in comments to @orsuliya‘s post that her plan with Wan Quan is going to make XQ appear a rapist so hey Awu, I had to marry a rapist, and you had too congrats!) but the one time she does bring things up it’s Zilu x Mi’er. And she is not thinking about how the lovers ended up very dead, no she is thinking that Zilu was ready to defend Mi’er no matter what and die for her while she doesn’t have that - because both she and Mi’er are daughters of big families who “reeled in” a royal prince, only Mi’er’s was willing to go to the wall for her and Potato isn’t even willing to stand up to his mom.

So honestly, she may say it’s to avenge Xies or for power, but a lot of it is because she is an unhappy woman who not only wants others to share that but also because if others also have horrible marriages with unworthy men (or even men who appear unworthy at least), then she can tell herself it’s not her bad luck or worry there is something wrong with her to land in this situation, this is just how the world is and this is everyone’s fate.

[orsuliya]

When Xiao Qi is far away, Badass Awu comes out to play! I missed you, you magnificent manipulative bitch! Have I mentioned that she no longer has any fucks to give? Well, she doesn’t.

After saying goodbye to Xiao Qi and drinking with Yuxiu, Awu is going through her to-do list and the next item to check off? Make sure that your bait is still alive and wriggling. Fishing For Usurpers 101, really. Zitan’s faithful retainers try to stop Awu from checking on The Bait Zitan, but she will not be deterred. You need to hear it to believe how much contempt and sheer irritation is our Princess able to cram into one short phrase: Wait outside. A LOT, that’s how much.

Oh, great, there’s actual trash on the floor.

Zitan is drunk, maudlin and useless, so not much outside the norm, really. But Awu is out of practice dealing with such things - even the Phantom of the Steppes wasn’t anywhere this bad! - so she needs to steel herself before even coming close to him. I kid you not, she takes a deep, deep breath in a clear attempt to prepare for Zitan’s unique brand of bullshit.

Go away for now, whines Zitan, I don’t want you to see me like this. Well, I have no patience for this guy and neither does Awu. She tries to get him into some resemblance of usefulness, but, you know, it’s Zitan. And he’s not done yet.

Do I look like an Emperor? he asks and Awu’s face tells us everything we need to know.

That open mouth? It’s here to stay and no wonder. Zitan then goes into a drunken ramble on how he was so very humiliated by Xiao Qi - as if he needed any help - and so very, very shamed. He totally lost the faith of the people, you know! Again, as if he needed any help... And what is he supposed to do now?

You knew what would happen when you did all that!

I am living for Awu losing her temper in this particular manner. It’s clear that despite preaching against revenge (mind you, mostly for political reasons), deep down she feels authentic resentment. And while she washed her hands of Zitan a long time ago, I think it’s only now that she realizes how pathetic he really is. Well, she kinda knew that already, but I imagine after the revelations fed to her by the Empress Dowager, she must have seen him as some kind of evil genius. Yeah, he’s not that. He’s just a petty toddler. And gods, is he petty.

Now I have to sit here all day long, he whines and I scratch my head in confusion. As far as I know he’s never really minded sitting in his room. What, is his Mope Nest not comfortable enough? Why do you think that is? It’s because I did everything for you! Everything was to protect you, to care for you! It was so that you would come back to me! Yeah, Awu. All those good Ningshuo men that were betrayed and killed? Your fault. Potato got turned into mash? Your fault. Miracle Baby was abused by Nanny Sus? Also your fault. And this is why Zitan doesn’t want you to see him like this. I mean, his downfall is clearly your fault, so he’s just sparing you the anguish and guilt, which you totally should feel, you heartless woman.

It’s a pity that Awu needs Zitan to be more or less functional to serve as bait. I believe if there was any other option, she’d take it, but for obvious reasons she’s not down with putting Miracle Baby into harm’s way. Now, Zitan getting shanked during the upcoming coup? That’s a risk she is more than ready to take.

And now the manipulation truly begins! My Zitan-gege was not like this, says Awu and starts listing all the ways in which Zitan-gege was a good guy. She gets a bit emotional and no wonder - Zitan-gege is a fond memory of her youth, of the time before everything went to hell. The symbol of her childish illusions even; ultimately false, but no less beautiful for that. Zitan-gege is also most definitely not the guy lying on the floor right now, she’s very obvious about that. Besides, she’d already told him that he is no Zitan-gege anymore and that hasn’t changed. So I say let Awu be sentimental; it is no sign of her getting any positive feelings about Zitan, unless you count pity as one. Didn’t think so.

This strategy actually gets her somewhere. Yeah, no, it doesn’t. Upon being told to do better and become an Emperor that this country needs - for Awu, who will be disappointed otherwise - Zitan remains useless and tries to push his burden onto somebody else. Anybody else, really. First he tries to give the throne to Xiao Qi. He’s strong, you know, he’ll deal with this mess. When that doesn’t work, he switches to Miracle Baby. Really, he’s ready to go and mope live in the Imperial Mausoleum for the rest of his life, just don’t make him do any more actual work. Right or wrong, to live or to die - it’s all the same to me. I have nothing left. Too bad, Zitan, Awu really needs you as bait, so no moping for you yet!

The only thing Zitan needs is Awu’s forgiveness. Which - notably! - she does not give. What she gives him is a silly hat and a half-hearted pep talk, part of which she blatantly copied from Prime Minister Wen. This country cannot last a day without a ruler, you know. Well, isn’t it swell that the ruler it has right now is so deliciously disposable?

And so is that hat. After all, Miracle Baby will need a much, much smaller size.

[skullsandwineglasses]

The Rebel Princess Episodes 45-51

Um, wow. A lot to process. 

Awu and Xiao Qi say their goodbyes and separate in 48. Not sure for how long this time. When they were apart for 10 episodes from 19(?) to 29, we at least knew that when they reunite, it would be a happy reunion. 

But this time? Xiao Qi is gravely injured (and poisoned) and Hu Yao disguised her brother’s corpse as Xiao Qi so that people would think that he died in battle. (Also sidenote: RIP to Awu’s embroidered cape. Xiao Qi no longer has a piece of her to carry with him). And on top of that, he’s accused of having assassinated the emperor. So it’s not like he can just casually waltz back into the capital any time soon. So I’m thinking that the next time that Awu sees him again is during the scene in the promos where he’s bearded and storms into the palace court, sword charging at Zi Tan. 

But in the meanwhile, Awu will have to face the news of his death and alleged treason. I don’t know if she’ll believe that he’s dead, but she’s going to be heartbroken either way, all the while she’s holding down the fort on the homefront, trying to protect the baby emperor from Zi Tan who’s most likely going to swoop in to try to take the crown for the most unconvincing reasons. Ugh Zi Tan. The most uninteresting and annoying second-male-lead-turned-villain. 

But since the story has now shifted back to Awu, perhaps we’ll now see her play more of an active role in the drama. I also wonder how Awu is going to extricate herself from the palace politics, especially now that she’s going to be such a central character in the palace as the unofficial guardian of the infant emperor. Her aunt the Dowager Empress is probably going to want to get rid of her because she’s going to feel threatened by Awu’s potential influence over her grandson, but also because of Awu’s relation with Xiao Qi, and the Dowager Empress will probably feel vengeful because of it. Is this how Awu ends up in Hulan with Helan Zhen? Does this happen before or after Xiao Qi returns to storm the palace? But if it happens after, how does Awu still end up in Hulan if Xiao Qi is around? So many questions about the order of these events and how it will all come together. Another question is why does Zi Tan allow it? I thought Zi Tan was obsessed with Awu too. 

The setup and false accusation that Xiao Qi killed Zilong is such a tried and true trope, but I guess it’s effective at heightening suspense, which is exactly why it’s an overused trope. And the battle scene in episodes 49/50 were tense as hell. It’s amazing that this drama gives you several well choreographed battle scenes throughout the drama. Likely a testament to the budget. Usually dramas only have one short scene at the beginning to set the tone, or one at the end as a conclusion, but this drama really emphasizes how Xiao Qi is a seasoned warrior and a man of war. We don’t get just one battle scene to establish his character. We keep seeing him in action (and each battle is unique), which makes him so believable as a skilled general. I’m in awe just thinking about all the stunts involved in the drama. And not to mention all the full-body horse riding shots that were also hella majestic. It’s a far cry from the fake upper body shots on a bench propped on a truck that idol dramas normally use. 

Also, the part of the battle where the white horse broke free from the stable at the camp in order to join the black horse on the field was touching. Since the white horse was the horse that Awu rode on the grasslands in Ning Shuo, I’m guessing this scene was to symbolize that even though Awu isn’t there and doesn’t even know about the danger that Xiao Qi’s currently in, she’s always with him in spirit and will always fight alongside with him. 

All the omens in episode 48 hinted at this turn of events though. The bad feeling that Awu got when she told Xiao Qi about the bird she saw that suddenly fell from the roof. Them talking about leaving the capital for a life in Ning Shuo and beyond, to explore the lands beyond the capital and live a free and nomadic life, to build a cottage somewhere, a home of their own for just the two of them. They’re hinting at an escape from the palace, a simple life, but it’s clear that it’s not going to happen because their enemies aren’t going to let them. Not with everyone wanting their heads. And then the hug that Awu withheld because she want to leave things open. She wants to hold on to hope, and so she creates an ellipsis. A hug would make the goodbye too official, so she instead changes her mind and tells Xiao Qi that he owes her a hug, which means he has to come back in order to pay up. Again, not a good sign. I don’t know what state they’re going to be in when they see each other again. 

Also, the two kids that we see them embrace in the promo aren’t their kids like I thought. They’re the kids of Xiao Qi’s fallen comrade, so it looks like they may not be able to have their own kids after all and end up adopting the two kids. A part of me wants Awu and Xiao Qi to have kids of their own, especially seeing how desperate Awu is. But at the same time, it’ll be refreshing to have a drama in which the main couple can’t have kids of their own and adopt. 

I do feel bad for Xie Wanru. She’s just a product of her situation. I also don’t hate the Dowager Empress as much as I feel like I should. I guess because I can see that both characters still somewhat care for Awu (or at least they show that they’re somewhat remorseful for plotting against her and hurting her), and miss the old days when their relationship with her wasn’t strained. I feel like the fact that they still acknowledge the good old times means that their humanity isn’t completely gone. 

It’s been a whirlwind. I have to admire the Dowager Empress though. So many players have come and gone (e.g., her brother, her husband, her son, the second prince, the third prince) and yet she’s lasted this long and is still here pulling the strings. Maybe she’s the main villain after all. 

[doe-wiegenliedofgreen]

Chapter 3, Section 2- Complication of Feelings; Scene 1

Wiegenlied of Green (VG), page 159-168

🍀 Michaela ~The Country of Elphegort, “The Freezis Estate/Laundry Area”~

 .

It had gotten considerably warmer than when I had first begun working. The laundry had been such a pain during the winter, but lately it wasn't that bad.

Several weeks had passed since that banquet. A messenger from the king of Elphegort had come to the mansion. Lord Keel had decided to give aid through Elphegort to Lucifenia, who was suffering a famine due to their poor harvest, so the messenger was handling the formalities.

Yesterday, the King of Elphegort, who had come here incognito, King Kyle, and Lord Keel had all held a private talk. I heard that there is where they decided on the matter of providing aid.

The gossip-loving servants could talk about nothing else while doing their work.

"Looks like Lucifenia's been in a state of unrest recently."

"They say Leonhart, one of the Three Heroes, was assassinated!"

"I heard another reason for giving Lucifenia aid is to spy on the developments over there."

"I hope war doesn't break out…"

"This is supposed to keep that from happening, right? With their aid."

"But I heard the princess over there is a despot, and no one knows what she'll do. Don't you know? In Lucifenia they call her the 'Daughter of Evil'."

In the last few decades Lucifenia had undergone an extreme territorial expansion, but due to the problem with having another ruler take over the order of their government was in chaos. Adding onto that was the food shortage from their bad crops, and Riliane's tyranny. These various factors were piling up, and rumor had it that Lucifenia's very foundations were being shaken.

Speaking of the Lucifenian princess,

His fiancée, huh?

Lord Keel had secretly told me about her, saying that Kyle and Riliane's engagement had been decided when they were children.

Was Kyle just toying with me? On the one hand I felt relieved, and on the other I was a little irritated, though I didn't know why.

Kyle had been staying in Elphegort for a short period, so we had been seeing each other frequently (or rather, he'd been coming to the mansion uninvited almost every day). I enjoyed being with him. I found our conversations about Marlon's festivals and times that he'd fought with sea pirates to be incredibly interesting, and he would act as my helper when purchasing things for the household. Above all else, I knew very well that he was always concerned with not boring me.

He certainly wasn’t a bad man. But...

Here I was now, without having broached the topic of his fiancée to him.

“Michaela, are you here?” I didn't know when he'd arrived at the mansion, but after calling out to us he entered the laundry area without reserve. “Hi there. The weather is lovely today, isn’t it? I imagine it's helping you move right along with that laundry."

When I looked at Kyle, chattering away so thoughtlessly, I quickly became furious. Deciding to bother him a little, I quietly continued washing the clothes, not saying anything in reply.

“I couldn’t return to Marlon today, so I thought I'd go greet Keel, but…seems he's in the middle of something, unfortunately. I don't want to keep my impatient ship captain waiting, so I think I'll head back as it is. Michaela, could you please give my regards to Keel for me?"

"Please tell your business with Lord Keel to the steward, Bruno, rather than a lowly servant such as myself."

"…Are you upset with me about something? I see, will you be lonely when I return to Marlon? Michaela…Have you finally--!"

"That's. Not. It!"

My temper flared, and I hit the water's surface with my washboard. The water in the bucket splashed up at me.

“…I heard you have a fiancée.”

“Fiancée? Oh, you mean Riliane. …She’s more like my little sister. I don't love her like a member of the opposite sex."

“But you two will be married soon, won’t you?”

"I suppose we will… I'm kind of happy you're jealous over it, though…"

"I'm just offended at being deceived!"

I thought about throwing my washboard at him, but I ended up giving up on the idea. There were people watching, and besides it would be foolish of me to do something like that to a king. I took a deep breath and regained my composure.

I said only, "You'll be going home, right? I'll see you to the main entrance," and turned my back on him, walking off.

From behind me I heard what sounded like him sighing, "Nothing for it," and then the sound of his footsteps following along. Clinging to the path that led to the main gate, Kyle incessantly spoke to me, as though trying to get me to turn around.

"Michaela. She might be my fiancée, but that's just what our mothers decided--Marlon's Empress Dowager Prim, and the late Queen Anne of Lucifenia. I myself don't really want to marry Riliane."

"Do you dislike Princess Riliane, King Kyle?"

"Not at all. Society might scorn her as the 'Daughter of Evil', but I know she's not a bad kid. It's just the circumstances surrounding her that made her that way. At least, that's what I think. I love Riliane. But…I'm not in love her. I've known her since I was a child. So I can only see her as my precious little sister."

He was saying that he "loved" a particular member of the opposite sex, but also said it was different from romantic love. I really didn't get what love was.

In any case, I had to definitively refuse Kyle's courtship. He wasn't the average townsperson, he was the king of an entire country. And what's more, his fiancée was Princess Riliane, who was possessed by a "Demon of Deadly Sin". If she should get enraged by all this, I'd have no way of predicting what she'd cause as a result. And it would probably be a bother to Lord Keel sooner or later if I should leave things unsettled as they are now.

"Even so, you cannot defy your mother…the Empress Dowager, can you?"

"Well…"

I turned around to face him.

"You must stop whispering your love to me from this point on. I want to be able to connect with you as just your friend's servant. You're the king of Marlon, and you have a fiancée, right? If you keep on this way there's bound to be a problem between your two countries."

Kyle stopped walking and looked to the sky, a surprised expression on his face. After a short period he returned his gaze to me, looking directly into my eyes.

"…Imagine, a king being lectured by a mere servant. I understand. I will no longer make any more attempts to court you," he said, with a clear tone. Then, looking sad for a brief moment, he once again walked toward the entrance.

I wordlessly followed after him. The both of us silent, the main gate eventually came into view. Outside there were servants waiting for Kyle.

"Well then, take care."

"Indeed, I'm looking forward to hearing you sing at the next banquet."

Kyle walked up to his servants. I decided at the very least I would see him off until I could no longer see his carriage. I was watching the back of him--and then suddenly Kyle turned around and ran my way, throwing his arms around me.

“King Kyle!? You mustn’t, please stop...”

“Michaela, if—if I were to say that I wanted to defy my mother, abandon both my position as king and my country and run away with you, would you…would you come with me?”

Again. Again I experienced the discomfort that I'd had on the night of that banquet. I simply felt the heat of Kyle's body, unable to pin down the identity of the sensation.

“I…”

“…I’m sorry, forget what I said just now.”

Kyle pulled away from me, and once again turned and left.

Could humans really cast aside everything, if it was for love?

I thought Kyle's direct and almost maddened feelings to be foolish. But at the same time, I also felt a bit envious.

Could I...also love someone to such an extent?

 .

When I tried to return to the laundry place, I felt something strange going on inside the mansion.

I could sense the "Vessel of Deadly Sin" being moved from out of the storehouse. Was someone carrying it? I quickly chased after the trace of its presence as it continued to be moved. It seemed like it was headed towards Lord Keel's private room.

"Oh, Michaela? What's wrong, with you rushing around like that?"

When I finally arrived, the one near the presence of the vessel was none other than Lord Keel himself.

"Er, nothing…Um, I was wondering if the messenger was already gone."

"Ah, I got finished much earlier than I'd expected. So I thought I might go put my storehouse in order."

"I see, so that was it. Uh, and that is…?"

Lord Keel held in his hand an aged sword. I softly set out a detection spell in my voice, and sure enough a discordant note signifying a "Vessel of Deadly Sin" resounded back to me.

"Oh, this? Does a girl like you have an interest in such a thing?"

"No, uh…I just think that it has such a strange shape for a sword."

"It's one of my collection pieces. My wife had an interest in it, thinking like you do that it has a unique form. Although it doesn't really have much monetary value at all."

The sword was unlike a usual two-handed blade, nor was it like a rapier. On its scabbard was scrawled something that looked like a ward.

"What was the name again…? Ah yes, the peddler said it was called the 'Venom Sword', I think."

I knew the "Vessel of Deadly Sin"'s name, appearance, and location. Now I needed to figure out how I'd convey that to Elluka in Lucifenia.

That night, I was in the garden. I arrived there a little earlier than planned, so I could get through with my "song" before Clarith got there.

I took in a deep breath. The song I sang after that was a different one from my usual.

"Recollective Music Box"--a song that told of the tragedy of the craftsman known as the "Clockworker". I sang the heartbreaking melody so that it would reach the far-off Lucifenia.

Elluka told me to sing that song when I had more information on the "Vessel of Deadly Sin". I didn't know what meaning that tune had. Whether irresponsible or just halfhearted, Elluka was the kind of person who wouldn't tell me the essentials, apparently finding them bothersome.

You'll know when you do it.

Right now I had no choice but to believe in Elluka's words. Surely, some sort of communication would come to me from their end, eventually.

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