#I was really banging two brain cells together trying to formulate a response as to why I’m not a die hard toji anti lmao

[seravphs]

Toji is my least favorite character.. IM SORRY TUMBLR

I just don’t think that being attractive to others makes you not evil when you do bad things-

There’s definitely people out there that only like Toji because he’s hot and good for them tbh! I personally don’t think he’s a villain because it would be hypocritical of me.

JJK has brought up how children should be allowed to be children multiple times. Nanami says it. Gojo says it. It’s easy to put this into practice when it’s Itadori or Megumi. We know these boys. We love these boys. They’re good kids.

It’s a lot harder when it’s Toji, isn’t it?

He’s not a good kid. He’s not even a kid! We see him as a grown man terrorizing our beloved hs Gojo and Geto. The jokes have a tinge of reality to them - why is he thirty beefing with high schoolers 🤨?

But Toji was a kid once too, and if I ignore that, I would feel like I’m cherry-picking the themes of JJK to suit what’s most palatable to me, as if because Toji’s harder to sympathize with, he’s less deserving. You don’t start over as a blank slate once you become an adult. What Toji is at thirty is derived from what happened to him when he was younger. If I believe in what Gojo says, that we should preserve the youth of children, then isn’t it hypocritical of me to approach Toji from a one dimensional perspective? Didn’t the Toji that was being abused by the Zenin clan as a child deserve to be saved?

It’s undeniable that he’s a pretty shitty adult. But I can’t bring myself to singlemindedly despise him ☹️ I think he’s very tragic and he breaks my heart (to care about him because I’m a Gojo stan lol).

[outroshooky]

no halo | kth

⇢ genre: oneshot (brief angst, fluff, smut) (exestolovers!au)

⇢ pairing: kim taehyung x reader, bestfriend!min yoongi x reader

⇢ word count: 5.3k

⇢ audio: brockhampton’s ginger album

⇢ warnings: brief angst (it’s exes to lovers, what do you expect), a smoking mention, some varied cursing; implied and explicit smut (soft!! body worship). there’s a happy ending, i promise.

⇢ a/n: i sat down at my laptop today, turned on no halo by brockhampton, and started writing. six hours later, i cannot believe that i managed to smash a brutal writer’s block by churning this out in literally one day. i hope that this is a bit of bright light for you, dear reader, in a time where nothing seems to be going your way. you will make it through no matter how messy or uncertain life seems to be, and you will come out on the other side all the more stronger for having survived it. 

Believe it or not, it’s the pair of battered red Converse slung over his shoulder that tips the whole thing over the edge.

It’s inexplicable. Perhaps it’s the memories attached to it, knotted and strung through metal rivets scuffed with night rides and hard asphalt. Tastes like cigarette smoke and ashen dreams wafting from the driver’s side window, but there’s something more bitter there. Heartbreak veins, like you’d expect them to pulse with anything but. They say love doesn’t last when it’s not built on something solid, but somehow, heady summer nights and network love aren’t enough to pass the time.

“What exactly do you think you’re doing with those?” It bites, thickened with venom. Somewhere far-off is a headboard banging, curses of those stupidly thin walls of the motel complex. 

“They’re mine,” Yoongi says. Which they are. Unfortunately. “I need them to like, go outside and stuff.”

“Fuck you,” you fire back.

“A ray of sunshine you are,” he remarks. “Any particular reason you feel like biting my head off in this shitty hotel room?”

The silence explains absolutely nothing. What he doesn’t know is that it’s not his fault. It’s right there in the middle of the dingy carpet, cracked and bleeding, privy to one and one alone. You’re too stubborn and he’s too good and here you find yourselves, locked at an impasse. He doesn’t know how good he is, how he’s patched your wounds up with wind in your hair and sand between your toes. He tries his best; it’s better than anything you would allow yourself, a luscious pleasure in such a stark world. So you settle for what you’ve got, and he shakes his head.

“You know you can come to me, right? About what’s on your mind?”

You finger the fraying tear in the bedspread, the cotton crumbling between your thumb and index.

“Look, I’m not good at this feelings thing and you know that. But you’re my friend, and I care about you, and I want to hear you out, okay? Whatever you’re thinking about. You’re not gonna hurt me; it’s not like I haven’t been through the ringer myself. You’re not so different, yeah?” Yoongi’s eyes search your own for acceptance. Defeat. Anything at all. “You’re not some kind of lost cause because one asshole in particular who shall not be named made you feel that way. Maybe it was two assholes. Whatever. Your worth isn’t dependent on their opinion of you.”

It feels like rambling but burns like an iron, sears through the darkness hovering over your consciousness, casting shadow. That thing twitches, bent and broken deep inside, staining down the bedsheets and spilling onto the beige carpet. He’s hit home, and Yoongi knows it when the defiance in your brow drains, floodwater evaporating against the creamy popcorn ceiling. He’ll forever hold that he doesn’t have a way with words; you’d kindly argue the opposite.

“I’m sorry, Yoon.” You look up at him for the first time since you’d woken up on opposite sides of the same bed. Something about childhood innocence preserves moments like those, in spite of years gone past since the last time you shared a bed like that. Nothing dirty about needing companionship in the form of a brother you’d had since you’d skipped stones down at the pond in grade school. He knows you intrinsically, like the scars that cross his knees and the freckles that dot his neck, no better and no less. “You deserve better than the way I’ve been treating you. Because you’re right, you know. But right now, it hurts.”

“Hurt doesn’t make you any less human. It’s a part of life. And it’s okay to hurt sometimes. Just don’t let it consume you till there’s nothing left.” He readjusts the shoes tied together by one string, sitting on the narrow angular of his shoulder. “Breakfast ends in an hour. I’ll grab you something and bring it back, and then we’ll figure out what to do next, yeah? I don’t have work till Tuesday, so we don’t have to be back for a few days more.” He pauses in the doorway. “Oh, and for the record, fuck Kim Taehyung. I’ll knock his teeth through his ass for the shit he put you through.”

The small smile you crack brings a toothy grin to his own visage. “Excellent advice.”

There’s a wry fondness dancing in the deep russet of his pupils, burning umber in the low light. “I try.”

Fuck Kim Taehyung. The exact advice you needed to hear, and the exact advice you decided to act upon, in exactly all of the wrong ways.

It’s the number that is stamped on your brain like a fifty-dollar tattoo— not necessarily the most tasteful, a pain in the ass to remove. Unfortunately, it is the tattoo that your thoughts like to trace with gentle fingers, rubbing at the lines, blurring the edges. Laser removal takes time and patience, but the contrary nestles in the form of stupid decisions and late-night mistakes. Like a dead battery on your Wrangler at 1am on the back streets, a useless cell phone, and three weeks of time to think.

Grief gave way to rage gave way to kindling coals of sadness, burning low but bright enough to light your way. Gone were your attempts to fan them back into the roaring bonfire those motel walls once contained, but here were your best efforts to cradle them close, nurture them that they might die out on their own, and most of them had. Moving on tasted ginger-sweet and minty-bitter, the chill in the air as the leaves tumbled and crunched underfoot, ignited with reds and yellows and everything in between. A summertime flame left for the autumn rain.

Pour the rain did, leaking rivulets down the windshield as you sat in the driver’s seat, staring at the dashboard. In times like these you’d call Yoongi, but he didn’t get off work till the morning and an impossibly timed dead zone did nothing to help your wireless suffering. Nighttime meant comfort for souls like yours, an escape into the quiet of dusk when everyone else sought the dreamy confines of sleep. Unfortunately, it meant that everyone else sought sleep while you were cursedly awake and stuck in the downpour. No place to go, no one to find.

You let your head fall forward and hit the steering wheel with a thunk. Fuck.

Knock knock.

It’s a glance to the left, out the driver’s side window that reveals a silhouette framed in darkness, wrapped in a thick coat, peering through the glass. Hand raised to brow and you can’t help the involuntarily yelp that leaves your mouth from the sheer proximity of the stranger. The figure flinches back in response, and you can’t help the immediate pang of worry. You can’t afford to miss a chance for help, but you also can’t roll down the window, and thus you’re opening the door and squinting into the rain as it blusters through the open gap. “Hello, I’m sorry, my cell phone isn’t working, is it possible for me to borrow yours so I could call somebody to pick me up?”

“Wait, what?” The stranger hunches slightly, peering through the watery onslaught. “Is that who I think it is?”

Oh god.

Oh god no.

The sheer absurdity of the situation isn’t lost on you, not like the way relief is wrapping that thick timbre around yourself like a familiar blanket. The irony of your car happening to die only a few blocks away from that little blue two-story, the coincidences of such a familiar stranger going out for a stroll in the middle of a fucking rainstorm. Of course he had to.

“Unfortunately,” you can’t help but grimace. “Taehyung, what the fuck are you doing out here in weather like this?”

You can hear the hint of a smile in his voice. It almost aches. “Are you saying this isn’t ideal weather to take a walk and enjoy the fresh air?”

“No,” you reply bluntly. Infuriatingly positive he is, always has been. “Ideal weather isn’t a fucking thunderstorm.”

“Mm.” The momentary quiet, save the rainfall, hints at what goes unsaid. “So what are you doing out here?”

You bristle. How to formulate a response that would not warrant help, but also warrant help? “I was out taking a late-night drive and stopped to take a break. I was getting drowsy and I prefer to be a responsible driver, so I pulled over to make sure I was awake enough to drive home.”

“What a considerate person you are!” Taehyung trills, and you’re almost positive it is completely unironic. “How are you feeling then? Do you think you’ll be able to drive home?”

“Uh, yeah. I’ll be fine.” A tight smile. Polite. It takes every ounce of will to not study him deeper, all of the curves and edges hidden snugly in the darkness. “Thanks.”

“Are you sure? It’s raining really hard as well; you won’t be able to see well even if you aren’t feeling drowsy.” There’s genuine concern in his tone, warmth bubbling from his throat like liquid sunshine. Maddening. But he’s right; he’s shining a bright light through the flimsy veil of your lies and you’re pinned. Even more maddening.

“Taehyung, it’s—” you clamp your mouth shut because in a slip of the tongue, you were that close to letting anger seep into your tone. That close to losing your stance as the better man, but the line of who exactly is the better man is smudged beyond sight in the downpour. You take a deep breath. Start again. “I don’t want to be a bother.”

Lightning flashes, jolting the clouds and cleaving them in two. The very world could be coming down in tatters around him and Taehyung wouldn’t think twice about being his everyday self, annoyingly cheery and maddeningly gentlemanly. You swear you see a flash of teeth, a boxy smile despite the water dripping from his umbrella, striking the pavement with an irregular heartbeat. Not your own, of course. “Nonsense! We can’t have you left out here to soak like this. Come on, you can drive us home!”

Oh my god, he certainly has not disappeared quicker than the very implication left his mouth. He is not shaking his head like a dog shedding wetness, nor opening the passenger’s side and hopping in, pausing to fold his umbrella in the gap before pulling the door neatly shut. You are not seated in your dead Wrangler with your ex-boyfriend at one-thirty in the morning in the middle of the very heavens coming apart with a religious fervor.

Taehyung brushes his wet hair out of his face, dribbling water down his cheeks. For all of your expectations, he looks no different than when you saw him last, standing on the curb with all the world’s joys flickering in his pretty almond eyes. The shadows cast his profile in a gaunter light, sweeping down the hollows of his jawline, his cheekbones; your fingers tighten around the door handle. Apparently, three weeks might not change much after all.

“Oh sorry, did I rush you?” He opts to ignore your blank-eyed stare of shock, reaching out to you before pausing, his hand outstretched to touch you. “I didn’t mean to rush you if you’re not ready to drive yet. We can sit here as long as you’d like! There’s no rush for me to be home. I just wanted to get out of the rain; it was starting to soak through my umbrella!”

For all of this, you can manage a brief: “Yeah.”

“Let me know when you’re ready to go!” The optimism in his voice is painful.

“Taehyung.”

“Yeah!”

“I lied.”

You don’t need to look at him to know the way his forehead will furrow. “What?”

“Gah!” You can’t help pinching your brow between two fingers. “I can’t fucking believe this—”

“Believe what?” Blinking doe-eyes, long lashes wet and thick in the dimness.

“Taehyung, my car battery died three blocks from your house and my cell phone isn’t working, and now I’m sitting here with my ex-boyfriend in the passenger’s seat and I have no fucking idea how I ended up here.” You sigh. “Do you not see the irony in this?”

He blatantly ignores the gesture towards the massive elephant basically perched on the center console. “No wonder your car is off! We’ll walk then.”

“Taehyung, please just make it easier for the both of us and l—”

It’s no use. Dear god. How you had ever put up with him, shared a bed with him is currently escaping you, but regardless of this, he is already out of the car as the words punctuate empty air. Weighing options is impossible when you have none to choose from.

“-use my phone to call somebody to pick you up!” The driver’s side door opens and he’s there, right there, not across the console or the bar or whatever. Right there. “Come on, we don’t have time to waste!”

“Kim Taehyung, for god’s sake, I am your ex-girlfriend!” The exclamatory stops him in his tracks. Finally. “Why are you helping me?”

The rain pours rivulets down his black slicker, drenching his hair and bunching along his shoulders and running down his arms. And yet, he brushes the water from his brow with a swipe of his thumb, peers at you, sneakered feet planted firmly in the asphalt. He raises a finger to the sky, smiles— not a half-smile, lopey and lop-sided, but a true grin, squared and gummy and full of wonder. “Ideal weather.”

“Kim Taehyung, you are absolutely ridiculous—”

“Ideal!”

“So let me get this straight,” Yoongi grits as you sit across from him, your frame molded into the plush of his second-hand loveseat. “Your car died on the back streets, coincidentally three blocks from Kim Taehyung’s house, who is— just to double check— the asshole who shredded your relationship, and he happened to be out for a walk in the rain and stumbled across you in your car, and offered to take you back to his house and let you stay there till morning until you could get me to pick you up?”

“Yes.”

“What the actual fuck.”

You gesture at him with your free hand, the other occupying a mug of steaming tea. “Join the club.”

“Just to double check, we’re talking about the same Kim Taehyung. The dude who you officially dated for a solid four months but fucked around with long before that. That guy, right? That Taehyung?”

You release a deep breath; the steam rising from your mug winds away. “Yes, it’s the same Kim Taehyung.”

Yoongi looks like he is about to spit nails. “I hope you took the chance to kick him in the balls.”

“Yoongi!”

“Just saying.”

“It could’ve been a lot worse, actually.” Your companion raises an eyebrow. “He gave me his umbrella when we walked back.”

“Ah yes, because giving you his umbrella once undoes six months of emotional damage—”

“Yoongi, chill. I did what I had to do—”

“Which is good, because survival skills are important.” He searches your face for any hint of something other than stoicism. Forgiveness, maybe. “And it doesn’t have to be any more than that.”

“I didn’t say it was,” you affirm. “But even if I don’t like him, I owe him credit where it’s due.”

Yoongi frowns. He knows not to push, but curiosity pecks his bones, nips his intuition. “For the third time— why didn’t you call me last night when you got back to his house?”

You sip at your tea. Flaxen sweet, mild on your tongue. “You were at work and I didn’t want to bother. Paying rent is more important than saving my sorry stranded ass.”

“You’re neglecting to mention the Kim Taehyung part.”

He rubs a fine nerve, one push too far. “Yoongi, what are you so worried about?” You sit up, place your mug on the fold-out table. “It’s not like I’m suddenly pining over him just because he happened to be there when I needed help. It’s not like I had any other options; I can handle myself. Taehyung and I broke up a month and a half ago; I’m not as… broken as I was before.”

It’s written on Yoongi’s face that he doesn’t like it, but protectiveness wins out over stubbornness. It always does when it comes to you. “I just don’t want you to get hurt again.”

You soften. “I know.”

The tension drains from his hunched figure. “I know you can handle yourself when it comes to people like him. But I also know how hard you cried over him in a shitty motel all those weeks ago.” The corner of his mouth twitches. “I don’t want you to feel like that again because of someone. Fool me twice, you know? You deserve better than that.”

Your eyes flick to his. Steady, warm, weighing justice by the tawny flecks that glint in the raven black of his irises. “I do. And I don’t doubt that. It won’t happen again.”

His own mug clacks as it meets the wooden tabletop. “You know, you never told me what exactly happened between you two that ended it. Like, I know the rough idea, but not play-by-play. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, but…” He trails off, leaving the gap.

“Ah.” A remark, neutral in sheen but bitter in taste. Like biting into the shell of a crisp apple, only to find that it’s not as sweet as once hoped it to be. “Sure.”

So Yoongi listens.

It’s strange how someone so vivid in nightmares, so seemingly real as the pen between your fingers or the breath in your lungs, can fade away so quickly by daybreak. Before you ran into Taehyung again (for better or for worse? For worse), he loomed as some larger-than-life figure in the back of your consciousness, spewing traumas and terrors like a river gully. But there he was in the passenger’s seat, no larger or smaller than before. Just Taehyung. Terrifying in premise, in rationality, on the contrary.

With that in mind, it was hard to not wonder if you had, perhaps, not given him credit where it was due. The Taehyung you met in the pouring rain was the same Taehyung whose hair you brushed sand from and temple you kissed and sides you pinched to get him to squeak when he laughed. Memories you tried to stuff away, filter through a new lens with every flicker in your mind, like a crackling film reel. But there he was, and here you were, and you weren’t quite sure who you were running from anymore.

Is it easy to run from someone who your lips know the taste of, fingers know the feel of? Is it easier to run from yourself when you strip away the miscommunications, aches and pains?

Yoongi knew the full story now. Terrifying to admit your fault, any measure of it, because you never liked to show him what being broken looked like. Some measure of personal freedom exercised, but with the wrong heart in mind, because he would never judge anything you had to say and instead, simply listen. He was always an older soul than you ever tried to be and he knew it, rugged wisdom at its finest. But ultimately, he only knew what he was told or taught, and there you were, spilling the unmangled truth to him on a Wednesday morning over two cups of chamomile tea. 

Coming to grasp with imperfections is part of the cursed struggle of being human, of embracing those little nicks and dashes that make us who we are. It does not mean we are loved any less, but loved because of them; none of us are angels. These messes are our measures, our faults and our pleasures. How terrifying it all is, being ourselves. Being raw and vulnerable and attacking those thoughts that weigh heavy on our consciousness, day after day.

And it is easy to wonder if you matter through all of this, through the chaos of that inner dialogue. It’s moments like these that put those perspectives into frame, click them like camera shutters pausing time to breathe and think. To look at the white-framed ink is to rewrite tangibility, printed blurry on those transparent rolls. Nothing is so unforgettable when it is angled just so.

In the evening, in the comforts of your apartment, you uncork a Polaroid from where it is hidden behind some cheery optimistic phrase you stole off of tumblr. Bullshit for the purpose it serves, painfully ironic for the task it demands. A picture of a boy with cherry-red hair and a boxy grin on his face, arms wrapped around you with all of the comforts and ease of home. There’s mirth in your eyes, sheer joy and laughter. No alcohol involved, just two people who found it easy to slip into each other’s company just-so. A jasper gem for you, polished to perfection and printed right underneath your fingertips.

Anxiety clenches at the base of your jaw, massages your throat with the cruelest intentions. You swallow it back.

The phone rings once.

Twice.

Crackles to life.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Taehyung?”

His voice melts through the receiver like buttery chocolate, smooth and warm. “You still have my phone number! Hello! I thought I’d never hear from you.”

“I-I’m sorry, what?” You blink in confusion, then shake your head. “Never mind.”

“I thought I’d never hear from you. That guy who picked you up didn’t seem to say much, but I figured you’d call eventually to say that you made it home safe. So I guess you did! And I’m glad.” You can hear Taehyung smiling through the phone, easy inflections of speech.

“Yeah.” You fidget, playing with the edge of your sleeve. Now or never. “Taehyung, I owe you an apology.”

This is the first time he falters, hints at something deeper. “What for?”

You take a deep breath. “You were kind to me. And I didn’t recognize it for what it was at the time, so I was a complete asshole to you. And I’m sorry for that. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it, it was the least I could do! Nobody deserves to be stuck in the pouring rain—”

“I’m not talking about the rainstorm.”

He stutters. “I-I’m sorry?”

“Taehyung.”

He’s quiet. It is terrifying.

“Taehyung, both of us know what I mean.”

You momentarily wonder if the line has gone dead. Perhaps it has. A saving grace, and then that deep timbre crackles to life on the other side. You nearly miss what he says.

“I want to hear you say it,” he whispers.

“You were kind to me,” you stutter. “Kind to me; so, so kind. And I didn’t recognize it for what it was w-when you gave it to me. And I was a complete asshole to you. I’m sorry.” You wait for something, anything, but he gives no intention, and you continue. “Taehyung, you were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I was so terrified that I stuffed it away into some far-off corner and tried to pretend that it wasn’t happening. I turned so much outward onto you that you didn’t deserve because I didn’t know how to be good enough for someone like you. I took you for granted, Taehyung, the exact opposite of everything I should have done. You glow like the literal fucking sun, and I’m a little cloud drifting through the sky. I should’ve let you shine through me, but instead, I just blocked you out. And I’m sorry,” you confess, the tension in your shoulders collapsing. “I’m sorry.”

For the first time in weeks you wish you could see him in front of you, gauge his reactions like barometric pressure, but instead he’s across town and you are here, feeling ever-so-small in spite of yourself. It was easy to read what he was thinking, painted across his face in swaths of joy and sadness and everything in between, but here, he gave away nothing. 

Please say something, Taehyung. Please say anything.

“Ideal weather,” he murmurs.

“W-What?”

“A sun without clouds in the sky shines blindingly. Clouds temper all that light; certainly we don’t need all of it.” It sounds so cheesy, some Shakespearean verse he quotes from off the top of his head, but it is the closest thing he’ll phrase to acceptance, and you swallow down a relieved sob. He calls you by name then, lets it ring warm and sweet, the way he used to say it. With life, energy, everything it lacked simply because it rang from all the wrong mouths till then. “Everything happens for a reason. You did the best you could. It just didn’t work out at the time.”

“Taehyung, it’s okay to blame me. It’s okay to say that I was the one who fucked it all up, not you. For god’s sakes, you never did anything wrong. It was always my insecurity, my mistakes—”

“You’re only human. You did the best that you could, just as I did. Who could blame you for that?” Taehyung’s words seep heat into your bones, calm your trembling fingers. “I couldn’t. Nobody could. I certainly don’t think any less of you for it. None of us are angels; we did our best with what we had. And that’s alright.”

You can’t help but laugh, dry, monosyllabic. “You handled this so much remarkably better than I did, god.”

He’s breathy with amusement. “It took a little while.”

“I could imagine.”

He hums. “Is there anything else you want to talk about?”

Your index finger finds the edges of the instant photo. His smile catches in the light of your desk lap. “There’s another reason I called.”

“That wasn’t it?”

“Believe it or not, no.” You trace his shoulders, the planes of his chest. “I just wanted to say. I have a Polaroid of us from July, from that bonfire that Jeongguk had with like fifty people down at the beach. I kept it, selfishly. It’s been pinned up on my bulletin board behind another piece of paper. But I took it out today. And I think I might pin it up in front now.”

“Oh, the cherry red hair.” The fondness seeps through the receiver. “I loved that night.”

“Me too,” you admit. A beat of silence. “Goodnight, Taehyung. Thank you.”

“Oh, you’re hanging up already?”

“What?” You nearly sputter.

“I haven’t gotten to talk about the Polaroids I kept, too.”

There are two ways to fundamentally seduce Kim Taehyung: make his coffee exactly how he likes it, or play with his hair while he’s lying on your chest. Both of which you achieved, and both of which led to your current predicament.

But we’ll rewind a bit.

That phone call, the first of many, lasted into the early hours of the morning, that sacred time that you both hold dear. It tasted like nostalgia and fondness, feelings you corked and bottled out of fear of what might lie on the other side. But in this case, the other side was a friend and more, a living history book for all of the cracks in between. And he simply adored filling them in.

That lazy afternoon where you planned on having a date at the park, but it had poured rain nearly as intense as the day you reconnected with him. You danced in between the raindrops instead, bare feet on the gravely asphalt, wishing you could touch heaven and so you kissed the boy whose cheeks were between your palms. The spontaneous road trip you took to the next big city over, five hours away, simply because for the first time in so long, you had nowhere to be but with each other. Hands held between library shelves, firelight’s glow on faces untouched. Sharing a tuft of blue cotton candy with sticky fingers, talking about everything and nothing under the moonlit, cloudless sky. For every instant photo saved were memories tenfold that he plucked from that mind of his like stars placed in the breadth of the cosmos.

One phone call became two, became four. Became texting over a break at work, FaceTiming over dinner. Became meeting each other for a late breakfast, studying at the cafe for an early afternoon cup of espresso. Depth and understanding, and Taehyung is slotting into your life without a second thought, as easily as you’re slipping into his. You let him this time, so much smoother than before. You want him to.

Neither of you can deny what it is happening, but neither of you can find a complaint to lodge. So when he asks you out, fingers entwined over the metal arm of the park bench, a bouquet of sunflowers tucked next to you, he already knows what your answer will be.

Indeed, there are two fundamental ways to seduce Kim Taehyung, and as a master of both of them, it is only a matter of time before you find yourselves at the foot of your bed; he pulls you closer to press his lips to your own. He tastes like cappuccino and chocolate and you’re humming into the kiss, shuddering underneath him. He still knows your body, every divet, every edge. He never stopped loving it— never stopped loving you.

He worships the way he loves— selflessly, giving every ounce of himself without abandon or question. When he eases himself between your thighs, the look in his eyes is nothing short of sinful adoration, seeking out every secret to your pleasure. It’s ingrained in his memory, the way you gasp or grab his hair when his fingers dance along your skin; he couldn’t forget it even if he tried. It is worth every wince as your digits tug at his scalp; he swallows down everything you give him and begs for more, more, more.

And likewise you lavish him, devoting minutes to dot his heaving ribs with kisses, stroking comforting palms down his sinewy thighs. Taehyung is every work of art you have wanted to see in a museum, living, breathing, merely mortal but so much more. So vibrant, so raw.

And afterwards you lie together, unable to tell where he begins and you end. Breathing in the heat, piecing each other together in the silent din. Clothes are tossed about the room; you can’t find it in you to care. You turn to him, caress his cheek, run a thumb over his lips. “Stay here tonight. Please.”

He smiles and your thumb brushes his teeth, boxy and exposed through the gap of his grin. “Was the overnight bag not enough?”

“How did I not notice you packed an overnight bag?” You sit up, wrapping the blankets around your torso, scanning the room to spot his duffel.

He pushes himself up on his elbows, wraps himself around you like a human koala. “I’m very good at being sneaky.”

“Mm, I noticed.” There it is, against your dresser. Your heart swells, fit to burst.

“Come to bed,” Taehyung hums, gritty, a little seductive. It sends a chill down your spine. You don’t think it’s meant to. Your fingers find his own and knit together over his knuckles.

“I’m right here, sunshine.”

He kisses behind your ear, the gentlest of intentions. “I love you,” he whispers. “Come to bed.”

You squeeze over his hand. Everything left unsaid, in the space of a breath. Two. “I love you too,” you whisper. “And I will always be here, loving you, with everything I could possibly give you. Every ounce of my heart. I love you.” 

He squeezes back, wraps the blanket around your frame, tucks you in tight. He kisses your shoulder with lips of silk, and you roll on your side to get comfortable, his arm draped over your waist. 

Against the far wall, propped up on his duffel, lies a pair of Converse sneakers, as scuffed and beaten as they were saturated with rain, on the day you fell in love with Kim Taehyung all over again.

[starlight-drabbles-blog]

Charcoal

Characters: Ienzo && Terra

            Ienzo sighed for what felt like the hundredth time since he started reading the most recent chapter of his medical book. It’s not that Ventus and Roxas were necessarily being loud; the twins were actually being quite considerate of Ienzo’s studying. But it seemed that not a day had passed since the semester started when the pair was separated for more than a few hours, aside from when they slept. Why they hadn’t chosen to simply room together was beyond Ienzo, but he couldn’t complain much. Roxas was a good roommate. He was mostly quiet and and stuck to himself or Ventus, with a fierce streak that Ienzo admired quite a bit.

            “Hey, Ienzo, you wanna take a break from studying? We’re gonna go grab some pizza from that new place down the street,” Roxas said, rolling his chair back to sidle up beside the bookworm.

            Flicking his bangs out of his face, Ienzo let both of his blue eyes settle on the blond. There was an almost mischievous expression dancing across his face, and when he glanced over at Ventus, there was a matching look. His eyes narrowed in suspicion, but too many hours of studying left his brain cells far too burnt out to put too much thought into it. Ienzo marked the last paragraph he read with his highlighter, closing the heavy medical book and setting it aside. “That place is usually packed; we’ll be there for a while.”

            The twins exchanged pleased looks, and it was Ventus who spoke this time. “My roommate’s already down there. He grabbed us a booth. If we hurry, we’ll be fine. They said they’ll give him fifteen minutes before they boot him.”

            With an almost pained sigh at the amount of studying he’d be missing out on, Ienzo stood up and grabbed his jacket. He hadn’t met Ven’s roommate yet, and he vaguely wondered if the guy was just as amused at the non-separation of the twins as he was. The trio was out the door and on their way down the street in a few minutes, and, as suspected, the restaurant was packed. A large group of students huddled near the front, waiting for an open table, and with a quick glance around, Ventus led the other two toward a booth near the back. “Hey, Terra!”

            He hated social situations almost as much as he hated losing out on studying time, but Ienzo knew the break would be good for him; his eyes were straining to focus on everything in the room because of all the reading he’d been doing. Maybe it was time to get glasses. He kept his gaze down as they walked, unwilling to make eye contact with anyone as they passed, and when he saw Ven stop, he finally glanced up.

            And felt all the breath whoosh out of his lungs.

            Ienzo didn’t physically recognize the man sitting in the booth. The devastatingly gorgeous blue eyes, the thick muscles that practically rippled as he shifted, the radiant smile that lit his face as he took in the sight of the three of them. He was beautiful, but there was nothing about his appearance that struck Ienzo with familiarity.

            But there was a tendril, a coil inside of him, that seemed to recognize this Terra. His heart clenched as those blue eyes met with his own, and a look of awe washed over Terra’s expression. Overcome with a sudden rush of shyness, Ienzo glanced back down, his eyes lighting on the hands resting on the table. They were filthy. Charcoal stained the creases of Terra’s skin and rested beneath his fingernails. An art major, or someone in desperate need of a shower.

            Sliding into the booth across from this mystery, Ienzo remained silent, trying, and failing, to keep his eyes focused anywhere except for the brunet across from him. He felt a brief, almost smug, satisfaction, however, that every time he glanced up at Terra, Terra was looking back at him. He missed most of the conversation, barely taking part in it unless fielding a question thrown his way.

            They stayed there for nearly an hour before deciding to clear out, and Ienzo put as much space between himself and Terra on the walk back to the dorms. It unnerved him, the pull he felt toward the other; all his life, Ienzo had been independent. Raised in an orphanage, surrounded by other parentless children, he’d had no choice but to learn to trust and rely on only himself. He buried himself in schoolwork, ultimately being granted a full academic scholarship to his first-choice college. Lucky too, because he wouldn’t have been able to afford it otherwise.

            Roxas, and by extension Ventus, were the closest he had to friends. It seemed that was about to change. He may not have understood what it was about Terra that drew him in, but even Ienzo knew there was something there that he wouldn’t be able to walk away from so easily.

            As luck would have it, the twins weren’t quite ready to call it a night. The foursome paused in the lobby, discussing options. “Ienzo probably wants to get back to his studying,” Roxas teased.

            “What’s your major?” Terra asked, the first words he’d directly spoken to Ienzo, and in a humiliatingly awkward moment, Ienzo couldn’t formulate a response.

            He shuffled his feet, opening his mouth and letting it close a few times before Roxas, almost looking confused, supplied an answer. “He’s a psychology major. And probably the smartest person I’ve ever met. Probably the smartest person any of us will ever meet.”

            Terra’s responding smile was gentle, and it made warmth bloom in the pit of Ienzo’s stomach. This was dangerous; he needed to get away. “Y-yeah, I have to get back. I think we have a test tomorrow.” He’d barely gotten two steps when a hand gripped his jacket.

            Turning back, Ienzo saw Roxas looking at him with a small smirk. “You said your test wasn’t until next week, nice try. Come hang out with us! We’ll even hang out in Ven and Terra’s room so you can go back to quiet when you get bored.”

            Ienzo frowned petulantly, noting that Roxas said when he got bored, not if. Was he really that predictable? He felt toward, partially wanting to escape the connection he felt with Terra, simultaneously wanting to explore it and get to know the brunet more. In the end, he crumbled, weak to Roxas’s request. His shoulders slumped slightly in defeat before he straightened up and followed them up to their room.

            He was immediately bombarded with canvases when he entered. He knew Ventus was an art major, but for there to be this much art across the room, Ienzo figured Terra must have been as well. The charcoal on his hands made sense now, as most of the pictures in half of the room were charcoal sketches. No sooner had they entered than Terra sat cross-legged on his bed, surprisingly graceful for someone so tall, grabbing a nearby sheet of paper and a piece of charcoal. So much for getting to know Terra. Roxas and Ven tried to draw the brunet into the conversation, but Terra’s focus wouldn’t stray from the sheet of paper he held, and eventually, they gave up.

            Ienzo stayed for another hour before announcing his need to return to his books. He’d been neglectful of them tonight. He said goodnight to Ven and Terra, who finally glanced up, eyes drilling into the medical student as if they could see into the very depths of his soul. Ienzo repressed a shudder from rolling down his spine, falling into the aqua irises across the room. He’d never seen anything so beautiful, and for one thankfully brief, moment, he wanted nothing more than to pull Terra into a heady kiss. The moment passed, he repeated his goodnights and made his way back to his room.

            If he didn’t know any better, he would swear he’d developed a crush. Ridiculous idea, Ienzo thought. He didn’t get crushes. Certainly not on god-like, muscled dreamers who couldn’t be bothered to wash their hands. But as he got ready for bed and lay down, Ienzo found himself, eyes drifting closed, wishing, in the very corners of his mind, that there were charcoal-covered fingers weaving into his hair to help him sleep.

[supplementsprice]

Don’t Fall For Brain FX Supplement Scams, In my Review, I’m going to outline Brain FX

When it comes to your brain, there’s continuously room for improvement. One container never be too smart, too amusing, nor full of too many useless truths. Still, all the effort needed to obtain such abilities is rather exhausting. If only we could eat a nourishment that would instantly alter us into geniuses. Well, until geniuses develop this magic cuisine, now are a few foods that may help out a moment with your brain’s asset. Formulated by two Harvard colleagues, Brain FX  claims to be a exactly crafted nootropic that can help upsurge focus, improve decision creation capacity, sharpen reminiscence, and elevate productivity for persons from all walks of life, counting students, athletes, businesspersons, and more. The creators of Brain FX  are so sure that it can solve your brain’s full potential that they’ve called it the “most effective and progressive nootropic formula in the world.” Brain FX  claims to use a proprietary mixture of scientifically proven elements that can provide you with clean liveliness, clear focus, and improved mental act, without jitters or a crash. In circumstance, the manufacturer claims that Brain FX  mirrors the effects of prescription-strength reasoning enhancers, and that it can be rummage-sale for a wide variety of tasks needful focus, including studying, employed, and even sports. In combination, Brain FX  claims that the ingredients container boost the aptitude to learn new tasks and retain reminiscences, reverse damage in aging cells, recover mitochondrial function, increase blood current to the brain, prevent mental exhaustion, and more. Brain FX  is claimed to be intense, and to comprise enough of each component to be effective on its own, if inaccessible (more about this in a minute). Because of this, the corporation recommends enchanting one capsule and waiting to see how Brain FX  affects you before captivating more. Once you’ve recognized your tolerance though, you’ll be intelligent to take 2-4 capsules per day, not to surpass 6 capsules in a 24-hour period. Brain FX  is claimed to be safe when occupied at the recommended dosages. Rendering to the company, you would experience increased energy and clearness within 15 to 45 minutes of enchanting the supplement.

What is Really Brain FX ?

This product increases learning the power and also improves intelligence indulgence ability. Efficiency of Brain FX  has been long-established by the manifold clinical prosecutions. Letting for it as a scam about brain fitness advantages really has no base. Rendering to my own knowledge, it everything for the advantages deprived of any single side result. Neurotransmitter synthesis and too release should go smoothly to have the fit cognitive state. This mind booster raises the acetylcholine which is strong neurotransmitter in the intelligence. Brain FX  Provides precursors to involve for mixture of acetylcholine. This is better than any additional available option to increase brain functionality and capability. Some people pursue ADHD medicine and protest its aspect effects advanced. On the other way, Brain FX  is free from all risks. On the regular ingesting of it, you will notice the better memeory, encouraged reasoning ability with increased concentration and focus ability. In my individual experience you cannot get whatever better than this in this price. It is safe and reasonably priced packet is must to resolve your recollection related issues. Some workers do not like taking caffeine outstanding to tolerance and side belongings such as jitters and twitchy so this is something to weigh beforehand buying Brain FX . The other fixings such as Vitamin B3, Vitamin B6, Vitamin D3, Alpha Lipoic Acid and Phosphatidylserine are all significant nutrients to keep your brain cells fit and balance neurotransmitter levels. Lastly DMAE Bitartrate and Choline Bitartrate both source choline to the brain which is essential for the synthesis of acetylcholine. On a apiece dosage basis, these mixes provide less choline crossways the blood-brain barrier associated to Alpha GPC and CDP Choline (Citicoline). Preferably, Brain FX  would use these larger cholinergic supplements, but this is relatively easy to precise by taking a standalone amount of Alpha GPC for pennies a day.

Brain FX  Ingredients

So what are the fixings in this supplement that can distribute these results? Brain FX  provides a proprietary mixture of 12 natural ingredients, altogether of which consume been demonstrated to improve brain control, memory, reasoning and neural fitness. The ingredients are: Huperzine A, Vinpocetine, Pikatropin (Picamilon), Bacopa Monnieri, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B6, Vitamin D3, Caffeine Anhydrous, DMAE Bitartrate, Choline Bitartrate, Alpha Lipoic Acid and Phosphatidylserine. Huperzine A, Vinpocetine and Bacopa Monnieri necessity be familiar to anyone who has investigated herbal nootropics. Together, these mixes increase acetylcholine levels, encourage greater blood flow to the brain and backing enhanced electrical signaling in the brain. Picamilon is a lesser recognized supplement that is a mixture of GABA and Niacin for better mood and control of pressure and anxiety. There are a lot of persons in the nootropic community who fix not think that Picamilon produces important results, however I have continuously liked this ingredient personally and I reason it helps to quiet my mind to some grade. Caffeine Anhydrous is comprised in this stack to boost energy, attentiveness and focus.

Important Things about Brain FX

Enter Brain FX  in the brain supplement that assistance you to achieve optimal brain purposes. But before of that you brand any decisions about it, if it is really value a try. This is considered to remain the professional asset brain supplement that it is also focused with the mega-doses of the influential brain supplements and their constructions and promote the fit brain function. The nutrient originate in the ingredients of Brain FX  rejuvenates the cells of the intelligence. It rebuilds the old brain tours refresh the connections and even rouse the production of new ones. It is likewise rewires the brains relay switches. It is essentially recharges to your brain cells and inspiring to them to produce the normal chemical transmitter that lets the brain to work better easer, clearness and the also efficiency.

Intelligence

No one ever ongoing their day wishing that they remained less smart. Colleges brand billions by promising confident 18-year-olds that four years at their organizations will make them brainier than the rest of the population. Little do they distinguish that similar results could be attained by simply consuming dark chocolate? In a education conducted by North Umbria University in England, scholars performed better on humble math tests after drinking heebie-jeebies chock full of cocoa, Fox News described. It’s not that dark chocolate types you “smarter” but it does benefit the knowledge you already partake shine through a bit recovering. The flavones in dark chocolate improvements the circulatory system, cumulative the amount of blood that spreads your brain, rendering to Fox News. This ultimately upsurges brain functions which would elucidate why test scores can improve afterward a quick chocolaty snack.

Alertness

When you’re feeling lethargic, you may be tempted to clutch a coffee or candy bar for a rapid pick me up. Although these nourishments will give you an instant vigor boost, it’s often short existed and the later crash can permission you worse off. Vitamin E filled almonds might offer a more real alternative. These are the greatest nutrient filled nuts, rendering to a 2010 study, Business Insider stated. The vitamin E and magnesium in almonds determination keep your brain at top-working volume without the aforementioned bang afterwards. If nuts aren’t your thing, there’s nonentity quite like gold old shaped protein to give your brain a much wanted boost to get you finished the day. Protein is able to rouse origin neurons, the lockups in your brain responsible for keeping you wide-awake. All animal by crops such as fish, meats, dairy, and eggs are crowded with protein.

Focus

It happens to the greatest of us. You get halfway done a perfectly fine work day when rapidly you find you can’t seem to focus on everything for longer than a scarce minutes. Maybe next time you ought put down the coffee and try attainment for a berry snack in its place. Studies have shown that blueberries in specific are able to increase attentiveness and memory aimed at up to five hours. This is due to the big amount of antioxidants they comprise. These powerful nutrients are talented to rouse the blood of blood and oxygen to your intelligence which results in sharper emphasis, no caffeine needed. The detail that they are able to fight cancer as healthy doesn’t hurt either.

Memory

Who doesn’t want healthier memory? Studies suggest that consumption cold water greasy fish, such as salmon not only assistances you to improve memory holding, but can also defend you for degenerative psychological disease such as dementia. That is since they contain high planes of essential fatty acids called DHA. Rendering to the BBC, tomatoes can benefit protect memory loss outstanding to free radical injury to cells, you know just in case you wanted a reason to have that second helping of pasta.

Functions of  Brain FX

That is exactly what the Brain FX  seeks to the help of you with to save your mind and the brain attentive and in tip of top conditions. It pursues to provide you with the subsequent brain health benefits.

It will enhances memory focus and too the concentration.

It will also optimizes the reasoning performance.

It can restore the natural brain wellbeing.

It will also help you to induce high-performance intellectual acuity.

It will also boost your brain dynamism.

Does Brain FX  Works?

As I mentioned earlier, European medicinal researchers have the led way in recording to the astounding advantages of Brain FX . In randomized dual blind placebo controlled education at the University of Catania in Italy patients with reasonable cognitive deterioration removed either 300 mg or a placebo for 90 days. Patients amid the ages of 50 to 80 were assumed to the neuropsychological examinations at the beginning afterward the 45 days and after 90. Brain FX  is natural memory increaser by Brain FX s Nutrition a nutrition corporation that specializes on brain attractive products. It helps to increase recall by up to 44%, with its vital components that support brain scheme. It helps you to sustain brain vigor without the jitters gives emphasis and concentration oxygen to the intelligence and the cerebral circulation. Brain FX  includes the politeness blend of PhosphatidylSerine (PS) complex, which is the normal phospholipids that will support brain arrangement. It actually holds many of aptitude. However, the supplement is on the high-class side and there is not so large customer reviews around the supplement. But, its 90 days money spinal guarantee is actually a good contract to grab to allow you to test the addition. Then you might be showing cyphers of the brain old. We are actually all too acquainted with these signs that in most of bags we find out to be the usual.

Doctors Point Of View

This supplement is really very convincing especially with the in what way they presented their evidences. It is good that they quoted clinical studies to back up with their rights. With so many crops that line the market offering the similar action, it help that there is unique such as Brain FX  that takes to the time to stretch you the consumers with related details regarding its benefits and the movements. It is a good product to promoting reasoning health because of the previous that you take the time to safeguard this is the less of likely determination you be exposed to wasting condition related to the intelligence. That is why majority of registrars recommended this supplement Brain FX  to their patients.

My Opinion

On top of this, here is the DSM, or Diagnostic and Statistical Physical (the fifth edition rapidly to be released; see Ofer Zur’s critique at the Zur Institute site), by its ever-expanding list of disorders. No lengthier are only those supposed to be suffering after schizophrenia or bipolar disorder entreated to income their medication, deprived of which, they are told, they would be comparable a “diabetic without insulin.” Nowadays everyone suffering from snags such as grief or the blues or any number of possessions in the case of children, ADHD, oppositional disobedient disorder” or childhood-onset bipolar complaint are also told they should revenue drugs, as if they wanted the psychological equivalent of insulin. The disaster in the circumstance of children is that frequently, after captivating stimulating drugs, they instigate to knowledge psychotic indications. Then, additional drugs are rummage-sale to treat the extra symptoms, a fact that accounts for additional and younger people ending up on incapacity rolls.

Comparison to Alpha Brain Products

As is the case by all novel cognitive enhancement accompaniments to hit the market, the contrasts to Alpha Brain by Onnit Labs are inevitable. So how does Brain FX  stack up? Four of the five main ingredients – Vinpocetine, Huperzine A, Bacopa Monnieri and Phosphatidylserine – can also be create in the Alpha Brain stack. The main alteration in formulation is the attendance of Pikatropin in Brain FX  as well as the combination of DMAE Bitartrate and Choline Bitartrate instead of Alpha GPC. Brain FX  also usages caffeine instead of the L-Tyrosine providing by Alpha Brain for vigor, mental drive and focus.

Brain FX  Dosages

Unfortunately, since it is a proprietary blend we do not distinguish the exact dosages rummage-sale in this stack. We do distinguish that there is 555 mg of active ingredient and according to the works on the site, there is “enough for all ingredient to be effective on its individual if isolated.” However, assumed the recommended amounts of the ingredients listed overhead it would be difficult to crush all of them into this supplement at the correct amounts with only 555 mg of the proprietary mixture. For example, the addition uses Bacopa Monnieri with 20% Bacosides extract. The recommended amount for this supplement unaccompanied is 750 mg a day. For Choline Bitartrate the recommended dosage is 500 mg, for DMAE Bitartrate it is 100 mg, intended for Picamilon it is 50 mg and Phosphatidylserine originates in at 300 mg. While these fixings do have some synergistic belongings that can potentiate lesser doses, in general I think you essential two capsules to really see important results from the Brain FX  stack.

Where to Get It?

You can buy this Brain FX  supplement only on its official website…

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