#I was talking about how good it is and Duncan mentioned he hasn't started it yet (he has read the manga)

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: May 12

"Howlin' for You” by The Black Keys

[dududuuuuudud]

Love Square

Before I start, this is MY opinion and any hate will be blocked.

GWUNCAN~

The ship 'Gwuncan' has been the most hated ship of all of Total Drama.

Gwen and Duncan started off as strangers and started bonding over their love for movies. They interacted a couple of times during Island but started sealing their bond in Action. For the couple episodes they were together for, they started getting along. By the end of Action, Gwen started having a small crush on Duncan. Duncan seemed to keep his emotions sealed but during the episode Gwen was eliminated, Duncan had shown little attraction toward Gwen. During World Tour, Duncan seemed to be more interested in Gwen . Although he quit the competition and Gwen was left alone with his girlfriend. As soon as Duncan came back, the two were able to finally come back together. The problem here was that Duncan was 'dating' Courtney at the time.

Now that I finished that little insight, I'll start explaining more in detail.

As mentioned before, Gwen and Duncan had started off as friends and had gotten to learn more about each other. Moreover, their ship dynamic has obviously been labelled as Friends to Lovers. What makes this ship so good is that they actually knew each other and accepted it for who they are. Also, because they were able to change and develop with 'no pressure, no planning, no pookums.' -Gwen, Ex Files.

For example, as they spent time with each other, they were able to be vulnerable and be free. In Action, Duncan was obviously dating Courtney at the time and he was able to tell stuff like how he had a picture of her under her pillow or just simply talk about her. In another instance, Duncan knew a bunch of trivial facts about Gwen. Did he know trivial facts about other people? No. Although there hasn't been any evidence on Gwen's side, from what I can infer Gwen would be able to trust Duncan. Vice versa. Gwen and Duncan knew what they were going to be in for once they started dating each other.

As stated, Gwen and Duncan tried to go easy on their relationship. The relationship had been going on for at least one year, maybe two if we think about the timeline from World Tour to All Stars. Gwen and Duncan had been going smoothly and maybe have lasted longer than any other couple other than Geoff and Bridgette. The two were able to communicate and sort out their problems and were faithful to each other. Obviously until All Stars happened but if you think realistically, that is something they would NEVER do to each other. Ultimately, All Stars was ruined and if there wasn't All Stars, Gwen and Duncan would be happily together. Think about it.

Gwen and Duncan were so caring around each other. They were always worried and cared about each other and they always cheered each other on. (Apart from when Duncan cheered for Owen in the Island finale)

Finally, how Gwen and Duncan were able to change and grow. For example, Hook, Line, and Screamer s1. That episode was the episode Gwen and Duncan started bonding and may have become friend-ish. This episode was important because that episode brought some change. Gwen, who normally was alone and enclosed was able to bring herself up to make sure everyone is safe. This might not be linked with Gwuncan but it really is. It's because of the help of Duncan why Gwen was a bit more social and was able to take charge. Did you see her take charge in other episodes? You barely see her interact with anyone other than Trent, LeShawna and Heather. Duncan stayed by Gwen's side until the very end. Now Duncan. Normally, Duncan doesn't really care or show empathy towards other. Well, he doesn't do that often. Duncan started embracing his more caring side. Maybe it's because Gwen might be killed by an escaped psycho killer but wouldn't he just think of it as maybe a horror movie in real life? He wouldn't really care unless it's affecting him. In this episode, Duncan was able to show worry and care for Gwen. These two were able to show unfamiliar sides because of each other. Imagine if they had more screen time? They could show that they are more than a punk X goth ship and demonstrate how compatible the two are.

The only problem they faced seemed to be how they started and All Stars as it derailed a lot of fans to hating them.

DUNCNEY~

The ship 'Duncney' is one of the most loved ship of all of Total Drama. Even with how toxic they are.

The two started off as strangers as Duncan soon started to flirt/tease Courtney. After a bunch of episodes of this overused chiché' ship, Courtney soon started liking him. After stealing food and Courtney vomiting, the two shared a kiss. Afterwards, Courtney was eliminated and their relationship started going downhill. Especially because they barely knew anything about each other.

Duncan and Courtney were the typical punk X prep type. 'Opposites Attracts'. In season one, what people call their 'prime time', their relationship followed a simple formula. Duncan flirts/teases, Courtney's angry and yells/hits him and repeat. In season two they followed another formula, they argue and then make out. Finally, in season three they followed another formula. Fight, fight, repeat. What made this relationship peak? What made it so iconic? The answer is that shippers just want to ship Courtney with someone.

Even at their best times, there was something bad happening. They were always arguing and fighting.

An extra detail, Duncan voted for Courtney when he was dating her.

Their relationship was so awful that it was even toxic. There was physical abuse (Courtney hitting Duncan on multiple occasions), mental abuse (Courtney setting rules for their relationship and how Duncan should change), cheating (Duncan flirting with Heather while dating Courtney and cheating on her with Gwen. Also Courtney about to kiss Justin in front of Duncan), bad communication (They don't communicate at all), controlling (Courtney controlling Duncan), double standards (How Duncan can't do something but Courtney can), victimised (Courtney being victimised), Jealousy (Always jealous and fighting for petty things), no connections (Don't know each other at all), can't compromise (Too stubborn to listen), using each other. (Courtney using Duncan for money and Duncan just liking Courtney for her looks) and the list goes on.

This relationship has caused nothing but chaos amongst the ships. What makes this worse is that Duncan and Courtney didn't know each other that well and just went into a relationship. They didn't know what they were getting themselves into and ended up making each other worse.

The two made each other the worst selves they could be. Duncan brought out Courtney' a horrible person's real personality (I think she was faking her act in season one and was genuinely a horrible person) as Courtney was able to drive Duncan into cheating.

Is it not crazy how awful they were to each other. They never got along in the beginning and never cared either. I think that the only time Duncan really cared about Courtney was in the picture above.

GWENT~

Another one of the most beloved ships of Total Drama.

Gwen and Trent started off as friends I guess as they flirted and hung out with each other. Gwen obviously had a massive crush on Trent. The two grew closer as Gwen finally kissed Trent. That same episode, Trent got voted off but the two continued their relationship. Trent cheered Gwen on in the finale as she won. A day after she won, the two competed in Action. Problems started to arise as they felt as if they didn't know each other at all. In episode five, the broke up as Trent also got eliminated. Afterwards, the two managed to be friends to stop them from hating each other.

Side note: This ship isn't particularly that awful but it isn't the best.

Many say that their ship dynamic was 'Opposites Attract' as other say they were 'Friends to Lovers'. This ship was more of both as they were opposites yet were able to be friends.

Although season one was their 'prime time', -well their only time- there had been a few issues.

The first one was when Heather read out Gwen's diary where Gwen confessed she had a crush on Trent. Trent at first seemed weirded out as he looked at Cody and afterwards did nothing. This was completely forgotten the next couple of episodes as the two faced more problems. This was when Trent left Gwen buried alive. To be honest, there seemed to have been a reason but a promise is a promise and Trent broke it. This didn't seem that bad but Gwen obviously tried giving Trent the silent treatment after that. Finally, a big problem. After Gwen kissed Trent, a couple minutes later Gwen found herself watching Trent kiss Heather. Although Heather kissed Trent, Trent shut his eyes and kissed back. If it was really an accident why would he have kissed back?

More problems started arising in Action. After Trent had been separated from Gwen, he started getting jealous over Duncan. It seemed acceptable since Gwen and Duncan seemed pretty close and alike but he seemed really jealous. Trent called Lindsay beautiful just to pester Gwen and called both her and Duncan 'punk wannabes'. Trent soon started obsessing over Gwen. He started naming things after Gwen and started his nine obsession. It seemed to really worry Gwen.

Gwen was also in the wrong. During Action, Gwen had called Duncan 'hot, sexy, stud-like.'. That was to just make Duncan listen to her but she still said it. Also, there was a video of Gwen and Duncan's star gazing scene where the two were wrestling and ended up in a less than one centimetre distance. Although it wasn't classified when that scene was. From my knowledge, it was most likely AFTER Gwen and Trent broke up.

Gwen and Trent were also bad in their communication skills. They couldn't talk about why Trent started obsessing over her and numbers and the Gwen/Duncan situation. Most problems aired from there.

After their break up, Gwen had to deal with tons of hate because of Trent. Especially in the Aftermath. Trent just watched most of the way until things went out of hand.

A positive thing about this was that Trent and Gwen managed to get along after their break up to solidify their friendship.

CHEATING SCANDAL~

What Gwen and Duncan did was completely wrong for cheating on Courtney. The thing is that Courtney had it coming. Courtney had been awful to Duncan ever since she had dated him. She was practically pushing him away. Duncan was probably sick of all the drama and as seen, Duncan had a crush on Gwen.

ALL THREE OF THEM WERE WRONG

Now, Gwen betrayed Courtney but from the footage we can see, it seemed to be all in the heat of the moment. Gwen and Duncan kissed but after Gwen came back to her conscious, she started feeling awful about it. Especially in All Stars.

I honestly can't blame Duncan. "If he wanted to be out of the relationship he should've broken up"-A Duncney fan. When did she give Duncan a chance to speak. I agree but Duncan and Courtney had broken up and come back together multiple times. Maybe if he cheated he would've been out of the relationship for good.

"If he didn't want to date Courtney, why did he kiss her on the bus?"-Another Duncney fan. Maybe if you think about it, you would realise that they were about to die and just kissed just because of it. They didn't kiss because they still liked each other because if they did, why would they have treated each other that badly? The possibility of dying could just be the reason they kissed. Did that mean they got back together? No.

In World Tour, I believed that Duncan thought they weren't together. I mean, if he was with Courtney he would at least try to talk to her. He didn't. At the same time Courtney is really demanding and assumed they got together. Duncan obviously should've made it clear but at the same time I don't think he really cared about his relationship with Courtney. He really liked Gwen at the time.

ALL STARS MAYHEM~

In All Stars everyone can collectively agree EVERYONE was out of character. No one seemed to be the same as they were before.

Although when you think about it, it starts to make sense. Gwen. Gwen came back to All Stars to make amends with Courtney. The reason why she seemed so OOC seemed to be because of Courtney. Because of her morals and guilt. She felt awful.

Duncan. Duncan seemed to be OOC too. Duncan was always a softie but he tries not to show it. From the two years Gwen and Duncan dated, Gwen was able to make Duncan the best version of himself. That is without making rules or forcing him. That's why he seemed so nice and a softie in All Stars.

What I believed happened is that Gwen didn't want Duncan to come because Courtney hated her and Duncan together. That's why Gwen had seemed so distant in All Stars.

What about Duncan being jealous over Scott? If he was jealous, Duncan would try winning Courtney over. Did he try that? No, because he wasn't jealous. If he liked Courtney, once he broke up with Gwen he would've flirted with her or searched for a reaction. That didn't happen either. These rumours of Duncan having a crush on Courtney is absurd since the only reason he came to the show is for GWEN. NOT Courtney.

Duncan might've been right about Courtney. She still seemed boy crazy in making Duncan jealous. Courtney seemed to try doing this in World Tour so what's stopping her now? If she really liked Scott, she wouldn't have used Scott either. I believe she was trying to date Scott and be subtle about it to make Duncan jealous. Duncan was able to see through it and that's why he didn't believe that Courtney really liked Scott. NOT because he still had feelings for her.

Gwen and Duncan had been dating for two years and they would've broken up long back if Duncan still had feelings.

Also, Gwen may have been different but the cause of that is Courtney.

GWOURTNEY~

Also considered one of the best Total Drama ships.

In World Tour, Courtney and Gwen interacted for one episode and have labelled themselves as 'friends'. Afterwards, Gwen dates Duncan and Courtney is mad. Afterwards, Gwen comes to All Stars to make it up for Courtney. Finally they become friends until Courtney backstabs Gwen.

This friendship is not meant to last. They move forward so quickly and act as if they were best friends.

Many even ship them. If you really want a w/w ship, ship Gweather. At least they were better than Gwourtney.

The two are not compatible as a ship or friendship because of how they back stab each other. Also think about it, if they were to be friends what would they talk about? How their ex is Duncan and how they hate Heather? Talk about a friendship. They never interacted until needed for drama and are considered the best ship. The two are so awful for each other and also bring out the worst in each other. Just watch All Stars and you'll understand and see how unbearable they are together and how they ruined each others' characters.

______________________________________________________________

If you read this much, thank you so much for reading my rant. I just want to explain the whole situation in my point of view and yeah.

[gaytotaldrama]

Since you asked about prompts, while I haven’t got to World Tour in my rewatch, the thought comes to mind of a Gwortney piece where Courtney believes Gwen’s claims that was the one who Duncan kissed her rather than blaming her for “stealing” him

thanks for the prompt! hope you enjoy

also on my ao3

"Uh, I saw Duncan and Gwen kiss!"

In just a few words, Tyler Tucker had completely ruined Gwen's life. She knew she couldn't really blame him - the guy was clearly under Alejandro's crafty spell. But if he'd just stuck around for literally two seconds longer the night before, he would know the truth of what had actually gone down.

Gwen should be so lucky.

Duncan was on the ground, out cold from Cody's sucker-punch to his jaw. Gwen couldn't care. Serves him right, she thought. I told him to fess up to Courtney himself, and now the jackass has dug his grave even deeper.

As Cody and Tyler began to take flight, Gwen realized with a horrible clarity that since Duncan was out of commission, Courtney was headed straight for her. 

"I hate you!" she was screaming, flailing like some sort of enraged marionette. The only thing preventing her from tearing Gwen's face off was Sierra's  - surprisingly expert, though definitely slack - chokehold. "How could you?! I thought we were friends!"

"We are!" Gwen exclaimed, instinctually taking a few steps back. "Courtney, you have to believe me, I didn't want - "

"Oh, sure you didn't," Sierra sneered as Courtney continued to wriggle in her grasp. "You've been all over Duncan since season one! It was only a matter of time before you tried any funny business."

Gwen stamped her foot in frustration, gritting her teeth together. "I do not like Duncan! I never have! I was with Trent in season one, remember?"

But her defenses appeared to fall upon utterly deaf ears. "You," Courtney seethed, steam practically pouring out of her nostrils like a raging bull. "Are so eliminated."

"Look, if I could just - " Gwen started in a panic, but by then, Cody had already won the tie-breaker, and the wave of relief that crashed through her nearly knocked her down to her knees.

Back on the plane, things weren't pretty. Duncan was still passed out somewhere in economy - was Cody's punch really that strong, or was Duncan simply prolonging the inevitable? In any case, Gwen felt terrible. She was being looked down upon by her fellow contestants. She hadn't gotten to say (sing?) all she'd wanted Duncan to hear during their boar challenge, hadn't let him know just how pissed she really was. Not to mention that the person who was angriest with her right now was the very person Gwen wanted to - 

Whatever. Like that was gonna happen now.

And yet, she knew she had to try.

Leaving the confessional (the lock was still busted, if this show weren't so fucking cheap, if McLean wasn't such an asshole, none of this would have even - ), Gwen steeled her resolve and made her way back to first class as slowly as possible. Cody tried to catch her eye as she entered the cabin, but she steadfastly ignored him, ignored the daggers Sierra was shooting her way, too. Courtney was curled into one of the seats, sobbing uncontrollably as Heather patted her on the back. If Heather was now appreciated more than Gwen, she didn't know what she would do.

"Courtney, please," Gwen said softly upon approach. "I can explain everything to you."

"I don't want to hear it, boyfriend stealer!" Courtney screamed.

Gwen winced, shook her head. "I'm not asking for forgiveness. I just need you to listen to me. Can we go out to the cargo hold or something?"

"What, so you can go spy and make sure Duncan hasn't been eliminated?!" At this, she fell prey to a fresh bout of tears.

"If you really want to talk to Courtney, then you can say whatever it is in front of us," Heather said, crossing her arms. "And if that juvie punk gets booted, then I say Good riddance."

"Fine!" Gwen threw up her hands, exasperated. "Fine, I'll just say this here." She hated to air more of her dirty laundry on TV, but that had always been par for the course with Total Drama. "Courtney, I didn't kiss him."

"Yes you did you little - "

"Duncan kissed me," Gwen all but yelled. Her cheeks burned shamefully at the memory. "Tyler didn't see the whole thing, but I pushed Duncan off of me almost as soon as it had begun. I didn't expect it to happen. I didn't want it. And when I rejected him, he got all grouchy and left."

"Oh, yeah, like we're gonna believe that!" Sierra shouted. "You stab Courtney in the back and then can't even own up to it?! You are soooo getting voted 'Least Popular Contestant' on my blog!"

But Cody, looking at Gwen with puppy-dog eyes, asked, "You're being serious, Gwen?"

"Yes." Gwen ran her hands through her rough hair, not even caring if she pulled out any strands. "I wouldn't lie about this. Ask Chris to show you the footage." She scowled at the floor. "And if Duncan gets kicked off tonight, I'll sleep as snug as a bug in a rug."

Silence, for a moment. Heather seemed about to say something. But then - 

"Oh my God," Courtney croaked. "She's telling the truth."

If Gwen had felt relieved when they won the Greece challenge, it was nothing compared to this. "Yes," she repeated, voice breaking. "I swear to you, Courtney, I am. I'm telling the truth."

And Courtney nodded, not meeting Gwen's gaze, her eyes rimmed with red. But it was enough for Gwen to know she believed her.

The others, however, weren't so easily convinced.

"Oh, come on, you two have always been close," said Heather. "If you're not into Duncan, then I'll marry Alejandro."

"I'm not," Gwen said emphatically. "So happy trails, Heather, you two will be perfect for one another." She turned defensively to Sierra. "And I guess you're gonna tell me you totally saw this coming and there's no way I'm being genuine, right? Because since you're an expert on this show, you must know me better than I know myself, huh?" When Sierra didn't answer, Gwen knew she had her pegged. "Ugh, you guys, I am not in love with Duncan! And, sorry, Cody, I'm not into you, either." At Cody's heartbroken expression, Sierra growled at her, but Gwen kept going. "Just because you all have complicated love lives doesn't mean I have to!

"You are so obviously into Alejandro," she continued, rounding on Heather. "But you won't admit it because you're too proud to own up to the fact that there's actually a perfect guy for Heather Hamada out there, and he's just as evil as you are!" Before Heather could splutter her way through a half-baked excuse, Gwen spun to level with Sierra. "And you - if you actually took a second to care about what Cody wants, you would know that you are always overstepping his boundaries!" She contemplated raking her nails down her face, so strong was her frustration at the people around her. "I won't deny that Duncan and I have a lot in common, and I won't deny that he has some sort of feelings for me. But I don't feel the same way. I was into Trent, I'm into Courtney, but I am not and never will be into Duncan!"

Finally, she broke off, heaving, throat drier than the stupid path to the Nile had been. She'd said her piece. She was finished, and if they still decided to send her home next time the Amazons lost, then she'd just learn to live with it.

But no one seemed angry anymore. In fact, they all seemed to be experiencing variations of different emotions, none of them hatred. Sierra's eyes were blown wider than usual, her jaw slack and her fingers twitching like she was itching to blog about something. Cody looked crestfallen, and Gwen felt bad for being harsh, but it had been three seasons and the guy still couldn't deal with the fact that she was never going to date him. Heather, meanwhile, was staring at Gwen with her hand pressed over her mouth and...giggling? It felt wrong to attribute such a cutesy word to the Queen of Mean, but there was no other way to describe the sickening sounds she was making. And Courtney...

Courtney was looking at Gwen like she'd just seen a ghost - and a real one at that, not Harold's stupid soccer ball-bedsheet combo.

"You," Courtney started and swallowed hard - Gwen tried not to track the bobbing motion of her throat. "You like me."

At last, Gwen's brain caught up with her stupid mouth, and she realized what she'd just admitted. Oh, shit...

It was at least a small comfort to know that no one would be asking her about Duncan again any time soon.

[dat-silvers-girl]

Duncan Ashe. The Ghost Boi.

"Ummmm... About Duncan. Uhhhh. Wasn't expecting someone to ask me about him. I have plenty to say about him. To start, I am actually a little scared of him. Not because he's a ghost, but because he got mad at me when we first met. I am a sensitive soul, and I don't like it when people get mad at me. Let's just say that he didn't make the best first impression on me. I mean, the first thing he said to me was a death threat, and I freaked out because I'm still not sure if ghosts can even kill living beings or not. It's not his fault that he was mad, of course. I'd be pretty pissed too if I died and couldn't even move on. I just wish he didn't get mad at me for Jacob's mistakes. Heck, they weren't even Jacob's mistakes. He died because of the R. And ever since I met Duncan and realized how long he and Jacob were friends, I've been racking my brain trying to figure out why my brother didn't mention that he had actual friends. I didn't question Duncan much when he made me do all those pranks for Peeves, I assumed he knew better. And his advice really helped. I wouldn't have gotten the Vault portrait without his help. He said that helping me was the closest he got to be a Curse breaker, which was his goal, the goal that kept him behind as a ghost. I felt horrible that I was living the curse breaker life that he wanted, and I didn't. I wish I could do more for him. He still stays in the Perfect's bathroom, so we've run into each other a few times when I'm in there. I respect Duncan's privacy, so I wouldn't bother him and just do my own thing. But one or two times, Duncan has struck up a conversation with me. He'd tell me about what Jacob got up to while he was at Hogwarts, all the shenanigans and pranks. He also made a conscious effort to not insult him, at least, not in front of me. He told me that Jacob doted on me even while he was at Hogwarts, and that he couldn't go five minutes without talking about "Little Pip" back at home. He and Olivia were apparently quite fed up of it. It was quite funny. It was the longest conversation I had with him, even though he only told me random bits and pieces. But I'll never press him to tell me more. I know it's a sensitive subject. On the whole, I think Duncan Ashe was... Or rather, is a fine bloke. And I hope that someday, he'll rest in peace. Maybe Jacob and him can reconcile at some point too..."

My opinion:

Duncan Ashe is actually a very interesting character. His first appearance was so sudden that I was taken aback. I assumed there would be a bit of filler before we actually met him, but nope. And if his haunt is the Perfect's bathroom, then I wonder why he wasn't in the movie, but yeah. His basic personality is that he was a prankster, good with potions, and best friends with Jacob. I'm still wondering what the canon relationship between Jacob and Duncan was, but I would hope that they were true friends, just like MC and Rowan (most of us know how that ended). Duncan stayed behind as a ghost because he couldn't fulfill his goal of being a curse breaker. As a ghost, he's friends with Peeves. He got quite a bit of screen time in the prank preparation chapters of Year 5, but we haven't seen him since. I assume he still haunts the Perfect's bathroom, and still hears of the happenings in the school. I hope Jam City hasn't forgotten about him, because he's actually a very interesting character who could tell us more. I am also hoping we will see him reconcile with Jacob, but that depends on how Jacob will react to his best friend being a ghost, and how he takes the scoldings that Duncan will obviously give. I really hope that there is more to his character and afterlife than being a dead, angry prankster. I also hope that there is a way to set him free.

[marshmallowatheart]

To All The Boys I've Loved Before (Part 22)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21)

Dear Veronica,

I don't mind dancing when I'm dancing with you. We should do it again sometime.

Good luck on the game today, not that you need it.

Go get 'em, bobcat.

- L

She grins, a big dopey grin; it felt silly how happy a little piece of paper could make her. But it does, it makes her really happy.

She's so distracted by the note that she's taken completely by surprise when someone bumps into her in the middle of the quad and knocks off her books from her hand. She shoots the guy a look of annoyance but he's already blended into the crowd.

Sighing, she bends down to pick it up and then another pair of hands are helping her. She looks up and sees him; Duncan Kane.

She swallows hard, she hates that her nerves are acting up around him again.

"Hey," he offers her a smile, handing her back her textbooks. "Can we talk?"

She stands back up, straightens her posture, meets his blue eyes and nods. "Walk me to my locker?" She asks and he immediately agrees.

There's so much between them but he's foregone any commentary on it in favour of talking about his senior year and it's confusing to her that he's bypassed it all and just decided to be casual about everything now that they've already made a mess of things.

She doesn't know what to say, so she nods and agrees and gives her two cents comments because if he's being casual then she can be casual.

"Everything feels so messed up and confusing lately," he says finally once they're at her locker and she takes in a breath. "All I really know is that I miss my friend and I'd like to have her back in my life, if she'll have me?"

He's leaning against the locker beside her and she's busy with transferring the books in her hand to her locker. And she never expected their reconciliation to be like this but she gives him a smiles and nods, "Of course, Duncan."

"Good," he sighs out in relief. "I'm still worried about you and Logan," he says and she has this incessant niggling feeling in her stomach since he started taking that's gotten stronger the moment he's mentioned Logan's name. "You know he still comes over?"

She freezes momentarily, her heart stops at the implied thoughts and she has to force herself to move, to breathe.

She swallows, desperate for air, and slowly continues to fiddle with the contents of her locker. Her shook heart now beating rapidly against her chest and she tries to calm down.

Everything with Logan felt so natural, so good, almost perfect that a part of herself pretended it was more than just friendship and a fake relationship.

She should have said something to Logan, she should have told him to stop being so nice to her, to stop touching her, to stop giving her notes, to stop caring about her and Heather and everything in her life; to stop making it so easy for her to fall in love with him.

How could she think that Logan had only spent time with her? Lilly's the one he wants. Of course, they were still in contact. Lilly's half the point of their fake relationship.

"He was there on Saturday and I'm pretty sure they still talk on the phone with each other," Duncan continues, the disdain clear in his voice.

Saturday. She doesn't know how to explain the gut wrenching feeling that's wearing her down. She remembers Lilly's mockery and Lilly's invitation to be friends - because Lilly and Logan were still friends, of course they were. She still hasn't mentioned it to Logan because there was no way she wanted to be on a double date with Lilly. There was no way she thought that he'd wanted to be on that date. Was there?

"Yeah, they're still friends," she answers, tight smile and clenched jaw.

"You're okay with that?" Duncan's clearly surprised and disapproving. She knows he wants what's best for her but she knows what she got herself into and Logan's helped her so she's going to help him - even if it breaks her heart.

"I trust Logan," she says and it tastes strange on her tongue now that she's given this unsettling information about him and Lilly but she needs Duncan to believe she's in a happy and fulfilling relationship even if Logan's actions prove otherwise.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt by Logan," he says gently.

She nods her head, understanding the concern but she doesn't feel appreciation for it. She feels upset, she feels betrayed and she feels heartbroken but she doesn't feel like she has any right to be because Logan hasn't promised her anything and she's known that from the start, so why did she let herself be in this position only to get hurt again when all along this was what she was trying to protect herself from?

Duncan's still waiting for her answer and she wants to say Logan won't hurt her and she knows that's true - Logan's given her everything she's signed up for and more - but in a few weeks or maybe even days she's going to look like a fool for ever saying it.

"I won't be," she assures him.

Duncan nods, his eyes lingering just over her shoulder and then she feels strong arms wrap around her sides, holding her tightly against him.

"Hey, Sugarpuss," he whispers just loud enough for Duncan to hear and drops a kiss onto her temple. He looks at the boy in front of them, smirks and says, "Hey man, how's it going?"

Duncan gives him a nod, "Alright, man. Well, I gotta go, don't wanna be late for bio. Catch you later, Ronica." He waves her off and takes his leave.

"So you and Duncan are talking again?" Logan asks, casual tone but looks at her intently, he's loosened his hold on her enough for her to turn and look at him but his hands are still holding onto her waist.

"Yeah," she bobs her head. "We are." She feels tense, agitated and moves away from his hold on her.

He blinks, surprised. He's been holding her a lot recently, touching her every chance he gets and she's never actively moved away from him before. She's even been initiating some of those touches, hugs and cheek kisses.

So he doesn't understand why she's distancing herself from him all of a sudden. His eyes drift back to where Duncan once once and he thinks that maybe he does.

He swallows the anxiousness he feels at her actions and bobs his head like she had seconds ago. "Cool, cool."

He doesn't know why he expected Duncan to never reappear in Veronica's life. Maybe a part of him wished Duncan would sulk in a corner and never show his face again.

"So," she lets out and he's trying to look her in the eye but she keeps avoiding his gaze. "Uhm, I totally forgot about this but you know how Lilly and I are working the band competition project together?"

He nods his head, taking her hand because the bell is about to ring and he's made walking her to class on his list of boyfriendly duties. He feels her tense but he doesn't let go and he finds some relief in the fact that she doesn't either.

"So I forgot about it but last Saturday she invited us out on a double date. With her and her boyfriend."

"Lilly wants to double date?" He frowns. He remembers last Saturday, he'd gone to her house and he'd told her explicitly that they were done romantically. He'd be there for her as her friend but that's it.

There's no denying that he'd loved Lilly but he's always known that she didn't love him the same way. And he didn't believe that he deserved to be loved unconditionally either.

But then Veronica happened. Her letter was filled with childhood memories and unreserved emotions that were just for him so raw and unattached to any expectations. She called him out on things he's never paid attention to and she saw past his facade even then - she saw the real him. (She did back then when they were twelve and she still does now).

Lilly wanted him as who he showed the world and Logan's realized that that wasn't a person he wanted to be.

He knows that Lilly's upset that Veronica's gotten so close to him in such a short time and he'd felt so frustrated because she'd gotten a boyfriend first.

The thing was that before Veronica, he wanted Lilly back even though she had someone else and had only told him after. Then he saw her at the car wash where she looked so damned cheerful and happy - the complete opposite of him. And then all he felt was resignation. He knew in that moment that Lilly and him were over for good.

"Yeah," Veronica says, her voice quite and tensed. "I mean it'd be a chance for you to get her back, right? See what she's been missing."

He feels his body grow still at her words. "Dinner with my ex and her new boyfriend, how does that sound like a good idea?"

It's scary to him that the idea of Veronica actively pushing him to Lilly is worse than the idea of having dinner with Lilly and whoever she'd left him for.

"If you can spend the night pretending you don't care about that then it'll probably drive her crazy."

He wants to tell her that it will definitely drive her crazy but he doesn't care anymore. Only he doesn't know how to say that to her now that he knows Duncan's back in her life the way she wanted without freaking her out and inevitably losing her completely so he takes a breath and lets out, "Okay."

Her body is stiff and she hates that she feels so wrecked over Logan's simple okay but she tries to push it down and repeats, "Okay."