#I wasnt even supposed to exist wasnt even meant to be born ffs

[sk3l3t0n444]

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i wanna believe that what i want to do with my life will come to me soon and ill be able to pretend like im a functional human but i dont think it will...im in my sophomore year im failing all my classes, i have 100 missing assignments, all my friends have their lives together and i dont know what the fuck i want to do with my life let alone tomorrow. how the fuck is it so easy for everybody else. they all have jobs and are looking at colleges and then theres me...i wasnt planning to make it past 11 years old and here i am...15 years old...almost 16. what the fuck am i supposed to do...my brother moved out when he was 27 because he didnt want to leave me...i cant stand not being with my brother...so i know im planning to move closer to him...but how do i get the money to do that, im a crippled tranny and thats fucking expensive, i wont have the money to live and going to college just doesnt seem like an option anymore...everything i WANT to do with my life i either cant do because im disabled or just fucking suck at...i just want to figure shit out...i wanna know what im going to do with my life...just the thought of school or the future send me into a full on panic attack...idfk maybe im not meant for this world, maybe i just exist to the the bad example, the parents say "dont do what skele did, you dont wanna end up like them do you?" im just a guide of what not to do. most people can at least make it through highschool and have this horrible burnout in college and then drop out amd it works out ok for them...they have a highschool diploma and shit...but im here forcing myself to get up every morning. the amount of effort people put into school and work and everything productive is just barely enough to get me out of bed...i spend all my energy just trying to keep going...i dont have the will to keep going on with life but i dont want to end it...i want to keep going for all the things i enjoy...but ffs all the stresses in life are just too much for me...its all too much for me...i just wanna be normal...i wanna be able to do school and work and all that and not want to gucking kill myself over it...because i enjoy learning...i enjoy doing monotonous things like work...but i just fucking CANT i try so fucking hard and i just CANT...im on new meds that are supposed to help me with my executive function but they just dont work...nothing is working for me and it makes me feel fucking hopeless...i just want to be fucking normal...i wanna be normal in at least one way goddamnit...i just want to know what i should do with my life...what ill be, assuming that i even do anything with my life...i feel like im such a waste of space...i wish the world had space for me...i just feel crammed into this world, like i was never meant to exist...like the world would be a better place if i was never born...like i was the worst mistake ever made...

[sick-as-a-dog]

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