#I will reblog here as well... I simply must. LOOK at my . Thangs

[nurseydexunsolved]

My first ever nurseydex fic! Please go on ao3 and leave comments and reblog & all that jazz, I’ll love you forever. Also! If you have a prompt you desperately want someone to fill, just send it my way! Okay enjoy :)

//

William Poindexter was wheeling someone, but for the life of them, no one in the haus could get him to confess who.

Nursey noticed it first, entirely on accident. Dex had walked into the kitchen, shoulders at least two inches lower than they usually were, expression calm, and when Nursey knocked over his water, Dex just laughed and said, "Don't worry, I'll clean it up."

Nursey stared at him, shocked. The shock had to be the reason he said something as stupid as what he said next: "Whoa, bro, who took the stick out of your ass? You're acting... weird."

Unfortunately for Dex, Ransom, Holster, AND Shitty were all in the kitchen (preparing for the kegster that night) when Nursey said this, and the way they all immediately stopped their conversation and zeroed in on him was truly frightening. Dex barely had time to give Nurse the stink eye before he was being devoured by their well-meaning but invasive friends. Nursey wanted to join in on the chirping, but he realized he was feeling a little bit sick to his stomach, so he escaped upstairs.

Despite this, or maybe because of it, Nursey was the first person Dex told.

A couple days later he still hadn't cracked, to the endless irritation of Ransom's spreadsheets. They were hanging out in the library with Chow, but when Chris went to the snack shack downstairs, Dex tapped Nursey's foot with his.

"Hey," he said, which made Nurse's heart start thumping a little bit harder, because what could he possibly have to say that Chowder couldn't hear? And Dex's expression didn't help. He looked... nervous. And a bit vulnerable, like he was made of glass, which of course was never a good combination with Derek's clumsy ass.

"Yeah?" he said, trying to be delicate.

"I kind of have a question."

"What's it about?"

"Well, it's about... poetry," he said, looking anywhere but Nursey's eyes."Poetry? Bro, have you been holding out on me?? Do you need me to critique your couplets? I'll do it, I promise, there is nothing I want more than to read poetry written by Mr. Grumpy—"

"Shut up," Dex laughed, the tension eased a little bit. "No, it's not my poetry. It was written... well. It's kind of, um, about me. And I want you to tell me if it's good."

Nursey's heart plunged into a cold lake. "Oh, for real? Well, I mean, there isn't really such a thing as bad poetry, you know. I'm not elitist about that sort of thing." The look on Dex's face told him that was the wrong answer. "But, I mean, I'll take a look. Do you have it with you?"

Dex wordlessly handed it over, and Derek read.

 "I've never been very religious I believe in entropy and science, experiments and evidence, gravity and stars But then I look and I swear, there is something in the glow of your golden eyes and well that is an unexplained phenomena if I've ever seen one And perhaps you were always meant to disprove my hypothesis Because I swear I found Virgo in the constellations on your collarbones And there must be a gravity around you because I feel it like a tug on my sternum when you leave And if there is a God, he must be a sadist Because I am sure he made you and thought, "Here is a smile they will start wars for.""

 There was a lot going through Derek Nurse's head.

First, his English major brain started critiquing it: too short, not a very smooth flow, some odd sentence structures.

Then he thought, God, who could describe Dex in cliches. Gravity? Constellations? I would have said—

Then he stopped himself. And started to panic. And realized this person was really in love with Dex, because duh. They weren't wrong about the smile.

He glanced down and saw he'd been gripping the page tight enough to crinkle, and smoothed it onto the table.

"So?" Dex said, searching Nursey's face almost desperately. "Is it good? Do—do you like it?"

Nurse almost laughed at that. Was it good? Yeah, maybe. Did he like it?

Fuck no.

He focused on the first question.

"Um, well, I really liked the way she tied the subject to her questioning religion and science, almost making him a messiah-like figure, and the continuity of that metaphor—"

"Nurse. This isn't workshop. I asked you if you liked it."

Derek tried to imagine that he'd been presented this piece in workshop, and not by his d-partner, who was currently giving him the most unbearably eager expression. Nursey couldn't imagine why his opinion mattered to Dex, but he glared down at the paper and said, "Yeah, overall, I liked it."

Dex stared at him for another really long moment, and Nursey didn't know what to do with his hands, and then Dex grabbed the paper and shuffled it around.

"So. I mean, not to pry, but obviously—"

"His name's Evan," Dex said. "I met him at that Sunday kegster, the day party. He told me he wanted me to 'look' at his poem, but it's obviously about me, and I don't know. He's really nice and cute and it's just." Dex sighed, avoiding Nurse's eyes. "It's nice to know someone looks at me like that. That someone could, in any fucking universe, describe my eyes as 'unexplainable phenomena.' But I didn't know if it was just bullshit or what, so I wanted to show it to—to you."

Dex finally looked him in the eye again, and—oh. Nursey had been so fucking stupid, he was so mad he hadn't thought of writing poetry about Dex's eyes first. They were so raw, so expressive. He was a tad dumbstuck, until he managed to sputter out, "Well, do you—do you like him too?"

"I think I could," he said, like it was a confession. He looked away, toward the window, and Nursey really wished he was a photographer in that moment, so he could capture that look. "I really think I could."

//

In the end, Evan gave himself away.

Dex and Nursey were sitting alone at the kitchen table, with Bitty humming happily at the counter, when Derek saw it.

Before he could help himself, he whispered to his phone, "Oh, you know not what you do."

This earned him a very confused look from Dex. He simply handed over his phone, watching Dex's eyes bug out, as he raced to unlock his own phone and delete the incriminating evidence.

It was too late. They heard the loud, "Dude!" followed by Holster's booming "DUDE!!!" before Dex had even pulled up instagram. Ransom was on insta almost as much as Bitty was on twitter.

Dex's fate was sealed.

"Ummmmm DEX?" came Holster's voice down the stairs before he thundered into the kitchen. "Who is this HOTTIE commenting WINKY FACE EMOJIS on your selfies??"

"It's not a selfie—"

"Actually Holtz, I believe the comment in question was, 'looking good dex,' then the winky face emoji."

"Oh, of course, how could I be so foolish."

"Did y'all already send the screenshot to the gc?" Bitty asked, looking down at his continuously vibrating phone. "Oh, give Dex a break, will ya?"

"Yeah, I would love to, Bitty," Rans said, grinning at his phone with what could only be called malicious glee, "but it turns out Dex's new boo-thang has been posting delightful candids of our boy here along with captions written in—wait for it—free verse poetry."

"How the fuck did you find--? He's on private!" Dex objected, the confusion momentarily distracting him from hiding his very red face.

"Dude, this kid can write," Holster said. "Are you sure he's not only dating you for an excuse to write autumnal prose?"

"YES!" Rans yelled. "The poetry drew her in! Lardo joined the flaming!"

"GOD," Dex groaned, muffled into his sleeves since he was facedown on the table. "LET ME DIE HERE.”

"Now, of course we all support you and your sexuality, but in the interest of equal opportunity chirping—"

"SHUT UP HOLSTER!"

//

The real problem began when Nursey went to his poetry writing seminar on Wednesday, because now he knew what Evan looked like. He’d put a face to the poem, and discovered the proof confirming Evan’s sadist theory that God was personally TiVo-ing Derek’s Actual Life and laughing his ass off, because Evan?

Evan was in Derek’s poetry writing seminar.

Even better, when the prof counted them off into groups for mini-workshop sessions, Evan was in his group.

Guess which poem he brought to workshop?

Derek would have been the first to admit that he maybe didn’t handle the situation as maturely as possible. He had a reputation in their class of being opinionated, but even he knew as the words were coming out of his mouth that he was going overboard. He talked about this metaphor not hitting just right, that line maybe wasn’t totally accurate? (After all, he did know who the poem was about. He could judge accuracy.) By the end of class, he had practically rewritten the whole thing for him, but to his credit, Evan took the whole thing like a champ, taking notes on everything Derek said.

“By the way, are you married to the whole second-person thing?” Derek said, hating the words even as they came out of his own mouth.

“Um, well, I kind of conceptualized it as a literal love letter. Like, I wanted to evoke the feeling in the reader of like, the person who I love is pouring out their soul to me in an ode, and all that’s missing is some cursive and a postage stamp in the corner,” he said.

“That’s a really cool idea,” Derek gritted out, mostly because he meant it. “Is that why it’s so vague?” he asked, because maybe there was hope. Maybe he really just wanted Dex to read his poem.

“What?” Evan replied, looking surprised.

“Well, I mean, you don’t have any particular details in it: this could be about anyone. Did you do that intentionally so the reader could envision it being addressed to them?” And, honestly. His prying was getting a little pathetically obvious now.

“Oh. Um, I guess you’re right, but that wasn’t intentional. Actually, it is about a really specific person. Ha, guess it’s just the closeted queer kid in me, avoiding any obvious markers of gender or whatever. You’re totally right, I’ll work on that.”

Derek sunk back into his seat, real guilt settling on his chest as their groupmates sent Evan sympathetic looks.

It would have been much easier to hate Evan if Derek didn’t like him so much.

//

He didn’t mean to write the poem.

Honest. It just spilled out of his fingers, typed into a shame-note on his phone, not even titled.

Well, until the third draft. Then he titled the note, “Freckles.” And then he had to transfer it to google docs, where all his poetry went, just to be safe.

And somehow, some way, Derek ended up in the library printing out 20 copies for his entire workshop to read.

It wasn’t that he hated himself; nor even that he was convinced that it was that great of a poem. The whole “having feelings for Dex” thing was too confusing and intense and new for him to be able to be objective at all. It was just, he’d procrastinated the hell out of the assignment, since he'd had two essays due the same week and thought, “It’s a poetry prompt. I have notebooks stuffed with poetry. I’m sure I have something.”

Except, then it was the night before Wednesday, and he realized he didn’t have anything that fit the prompt.

Well. Except one poem.

Which was how he printed out and handed his own ode to Dex right into his boyfriend’s fucking arms.

Oh yeah, because that was a thing.

A couple weeks ago, half the team had “accidentally” run into Dex and Evan on a date, where Dex had introduced Evan as his boyfriend and Evan had tried to chat with Nursey about their seminar and Nursey had excused himself to the bathroom, to quiet his shaking hands.

Since then, whenever Dex went to kegsters and the bars and even a house party at one of Rans's Weird Sciencey Friends's place, Evan was with him. Which like. If you didn't know they were together, you probably wouldn't even guess it. Nursey had never seen them kiss, and the most PDA he'd spotted was Dex dragging Evan out of a kegster by his hand. Technically. But the thing was, Dex was so...different when he was with Evan. Evan made him laugh, like belly laugh, all the time. Dex was constantly smiling or laughing or joking whenever Evan was in the room, and Nursey really just could not deal. If he'd thought he had it bad before, that was literally a joke compared to the sight of Dex animatedly telling a funny story, swinging his arms everywhere, barely able to finish for laughing so hard.

The problem was that he wasn't telling the story to Nursey.

All this, maybe, possibly, Nursey could handle. He could move on. If Dex hadn't walked into their room looking extremely distraught less than a week ago.

Well. Extremely distraught on Dex looked like mildly perturbed on most other people but Nursey could read Dex pretty well at this point.

"Dex?" he said, "Are you alright?"

He expected a brush-off, like every other time Nursey inquired after his emotional state. What he got was, "I don't know."

Nurse swiveled away from his laptop, full attention to Dex. "What's up?"

Dex gave a frustrated huff. "It's just...ugh. It's gonna sound shitty."

Nursey raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

Dex huffed again. "Okay. But I might not say it right. Um, so Evan has some... mental health issues. Which is fine! That isn't the problem. I like all of who he is, not just... ugh. The problem is... I don't think he's really... dealing with it?"

Nursey kept his face impassive. Dex knew about Nursey's mental health struggles as well, and yet he chose to come to him for this. He would withhold judgement until Dex said what he had to say.

"Like he... he makes me happy, and he makes me laugh, and he makes me feel good about myself. But he puts himself down all the time. And I don't think he's fishing for compliments or reassurance or anything, but it feels like, if I don't reassure him every time, I'm just feeding into it and reaffirming those thoughts and making everything worse. And that's like, a lot of pressure? And he has some really concerning symptoms. Like, he'll just casually drop that he had a panic attack in class or that he dissociated for hours this morning and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help. I can't, I am so not qualified for that. So I'll be like, 'maybe you should see a therapist or get a diagnosis or like...talk to someone'? And he'll just be like 'I probably should' and then do nothing. And I try to tell him nothing will change or get better if he doesn't do anything, and I'm just starting to feel like if I don't make his mental health a priority then no one will, and because I care about him, I want to see him, I don't know, be okay. But that means taking it all on, and I just, I don't, I've been monologuing about this for long enough and please help."

Nursey nodded, face still carefully composed. He'd been in a similar situation with a cousin, and told Dex he was on the right track and had to take care of himself first, and to talk to Evan about it first, and if after that he couldn't prove he was making an effort to improve his health then Dex should end the relationship. All in all, Nurse was quite proud with his maturity in handling the situation, and could sleep well knowing he gave Dex the advice he would give anyone.

Except.

Knowing this was so detrimental to Nursey's dumbass feelings-for-Dex heart balloon, which expanded with shallow, selfish hope with the knowledge that Dex wasn't totally happy and that Evan had, like, at least one flaw.

It was the stupid balloon that had made him write the poem in the first place. He just had to let some of the air out before it popped. How could he have known it would end up like this?

He reread the poem nervously while class was winding down, tuning out the prof's droning about atmosphere.

 i bet you heard that your freckles were constellations, stars scattered across shoulders but i have never heard something so wrong stars are dead things, explosions of heat and gas, and what we see are the remnants of light, hanging on only to the echo but your skin is a living masterpiece a splattered miracle of pigment and sundrops and pointilism you might be the water droplets that bead up on the car ride home, as i watch two drops race each other to avoid looking at your hair or your eyes or your freckled fists on the wheel, because i know if i look i will do something stupid like fall in love— but it's too late. i didn't see it coming because i always thought it would be gradual, but all it takes is for me to see the fireworks of freckles on your sternum, permanently burned onto your skin like the imprint of the sun on the back of my eyes and it explodes in my chest, this thing that i let happen so no, dear, you are not like the constellations so fickle, disappearing every morning, hiding behind the clouds your freckles are like freckles because i have tried and tried, but i cannot for the life of me think of a more beautiful word

 An elbow in his side jolted him back to class. It was Evan's.

"Can't wait to read your poem!" he said.

"Haha, thanks," he said.

Haha, fuck, he thought.

//

"Nurse. I read your poem."

Nursey's eyes tracked slowly up from his reading to the puppy-dog eyed boy in front of him. Evan. Shit.

"I can explain," he said.

Evan slid into the booth next to him at Annie's. "I need your advice."

Nursey repeated Evan's word in his brain once, and then twice, and then a third time, really breaking down each word, and he was still confused. "What?"

"With Dex. I have eyes. You obviously really care about him. Like, you're in love with him, I mean. And maybe that makes me stupid for asking you, but I don't really have anyone else I know who'll hear what I have to say and have Dex's best interests at heart, and so I'm trusting you to be honest with me, because I don't really think I'm capable of being honest with myself right now."

"I'm sorry, are you asking me for relationship advice?" The words left his own mouth but they still didn't make sense.

"Kind of. It's just. Has Dex told you anything about me?"

He knew what Evan was asking. "He told me you had some mental health issues, yeah. And that it's been... well. A support system can't be one person."

Evan nodded, like this was what he had been wanting to hear, which only succeeded in confusing Nursey more.

"Yes. Exactly. So. I wanted to ask someone who actually knew Dex about it, because I don't think he's being honest with me. I mean, I think he's trying to hide his feelings because he's afraid it will like, break me, or make me feel worse, or whatever. I guess my question is... am I hurting him?"

And, fuck. All of Nursey's irrational dislike of Evan flew out the window when he heard that soft little question, Evan's voice almost too raw to bear.

Which was why Nursey knew he was being honest when he whispered, "Yes." He rushed on to amend, "Well, it's not actually your mental illness, whatever that is, Dex never specified. It's that Dex feels like the responsibility for your mental well-being is entirely on his shoulders, which is not healthy for anyone to feel, ever. He really cares about you, Evan. But from what I gather, you're putting a lot of weight on him. You need to have someone else besides Dex: your family, other friends, maybe a therapist. Okay, no, as someone with bipolar, you actually should definitely have a therapist. But it's gonna take a while, dude. And until then... yeah. You are hurting him."

The fucking look in his eyes, man. "I need him," he said.

"I know," Nursey replied. "Which is probably why you have to let him go."

Evan sighed, a release of understanding, of learning something you already knew. "Thank you. I just needed someone to say it out loud to me." He looked down at his hands, picking the skin off the side of the nail. "Um. Do you know how... where would I find a good therapist? Do you think?"

//

Things after that were harder. But also better.

Dex was devastated, he was. But Nursey could also see the relief in the set of his shoulders. That Evan would be okay, or he was on his way to being okay, and it wasn't Dex's job to fix him. Or anyone's job but Evan's, honestly. Nursey had almost forgotten the whole ode to Dex thing.

Almost.

Until Dex burst into their room, paper in hand, yelling, "Hey, Nurse? What the fuck is this?"

Nursey froze at his desk. He didn't have to look. He could feel the words on the paper in the room with them, haunting him. Why did he have to be so melo-fucking-dramatic all the time?

"What's what?" he said instead of all that, swiveling around calmly, thinking maybe if he acted chill his blood pressure would be fooled and decrease.

(Or maybe it would increase just enough that he could have a heart attack and be in the ER and not this room?)

"Nursey. Please don't insult my intelligence."

He risked a glance up to Dex's face, which didn't look mad or embarrassed or any of the emotions Nursey would immediately associate with an unwanted love confession.

"Look, you were never supposed to see it, okay—"

Dex let out a laugh, one of those laughs when there's some sort of emotion in you and you don't really know where to put it and it just bursts out into a laugh. Nursey thought of volcanoes and pillow fights and popped balloons. His fingers itched for a pencil.

"Oh, so you were just gonna let me be ignorant forever? You were really never gonna tell me this is how you feel?"

"I—" Nursey watched Dex's face, but he really couldn't reconcile Dex's tone with his words with his face. They were all criss-crossed, like Dex's eyelashes when he woke up from a nap.

His hand actually made it all the way to the pen on his desk, screaming to write it all down, before he forced it to return back to his lap just to fiddle with. It wasn't his fault Dex looked so beautiful like this. So alive.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

This was clearly not the right thing, because he saw the irritation settle into Dex's face, like tinder on a campfire, before he closed his eyes, leaning back, and breathing in deep.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come in here picking a fight. I want you to be honest with me. Please."

"I—" Three seconds ago, he'd been composing poetry, prose, metaphors about his feelings. And yet somehow in this moment, he couldn't think of one single thing to say.

"I'm obsessed with you," he blurted. "It's kind of embarrassing, actually. I think about you literally all the time. And I always write what I'm thinking about. So I wrote that."

Dex shook his head, his lips turned up faintly in disbelief, like he was laughing at a joke no one had told yet. "I'm sorry, when did you write this?"

"Um...like... a month ago? I think? Maybe."

Dex's eyes closed, like he was having trouble with the math. Dex was really excellent at math.

"So you're telling me you've liked me about as long as I've been with Evan."

Nursey mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "maybe."

"What about his poem?"

Nurse blinked. "What about it?"

This time Dex really did laugh. It sounded a bit delirious. "When I showed you his poem! Did you really think I wanted your opinion on his prose?"

Nursey said nothing, but the look on his face probably betrayed that yes, that was what he'd thought.

"For someone who can write such brilliant shit—" he waved the paper around, "—you really are dense sometimes. I was giving you a chance! To say something, to stop me, I don't know. But then you said you liked it, so I thought, 'well, that settles it, he's not into me. Time to move on.' And then I did. And then you have the audacity to write this motherfucking—"

Dex looked like he was edging into full on rant mode, so Derek stood up quickly and interrupted with, "Hey Dex?"

Dex hit the brakes, looking up at Nursey like he very much wanted to finish. "What?"

"Can I kiss you?"

And, man. Dex was so beautiful like this, arms askew in the middle of the point he'd been making, hair mussed, face confused, like his words had stopped but his brain was veering off course. He kind of looked like a mess. Derek's heart swelled.

"Okay," he said.

Derek rushed in, worried if he waited any longer Dex would keep talking.

He didn't.

Dex's hands found Nurse's waist, paper still in hand, gripping at his back and grabbing him, pulling him closer. Nursey framed his hands around Dex's face, dragging him into the kiss. One of his hands gripped at the back of Dex's neck, sliding up over his short hair, like he'd wanted to do for months.

His mouth was so warm, just like the rest of him, but more, somehow. Nursey opened his mouth, sucking on Dex's lip. Dex's hand reflexively squeezed Nursey's waist. Before he could get too cocky about that, Dex caught Nursey's bottom lip in his teeth, scraping slow over it, sending chills down his scalp over his whole body.

"Wait, wait, wait," Dex said, pulling away, kinda, in the sense that his mouth was no longer attached to Nursey's, but he was still pretty entwined all up in Derek. He leaned his head down to catch his breath, his panting blowing over Derek's neck, giving Derek the mental image of Dex kissing him there, which, fuck—

"I was gonna say something," Dex said, eyes still looking kind of scrambled.

"Mm-hmm," Derek hummed, leaning in close again. One of Dex's hands left Nursey's waist and brushed his own lips, and yeah, Nursey knew the feeling. His mouth was literally humming, floating away from the rest of him.

"I can't remember," Dex said, grinning, already leaning back into Derek.

"That's okay," Derek murmured against Dex's pulse, which he could actually feel thrumming rapidly against his lips. "We have time."

And he kissed and kissed and kissed him, until there wasn't a single freckle left untouched.

[whitetrashjj]

Lara’s birthday mutual appreciation rant

Anyway as of 50 minutes ago, it’s my birthday and I’ve been playing tennis all day so naturally, I’m drunk.  

So feeling the love and affection right now, I thought why not show some appreciation to all my mutuals who are amazing and I love. 

there is a good chance I’ll regret this when I’m sober but lets take that gamble

Let’s start with a blanket statement, which is how happy even having mutuals makes me. Things from seeing my mutuals on my dash to seeing my posts on my dash and even just seeing that little *reblogged from* you thing makes me smile. Every time any of you say my name in your tags, it just remind me that you are real people and that I am real and some how I am connected to all these amazing people from around the world. i don’t even care if sometimes you have to check my description to remember my name

Having an outlet where I can share my thoughts and feelings on these stupid things I get obsessed with is amazing, and the fact that even one of you would listen to my stupid rants means the most to. I honestly think this is something we take for granted and some times we focus to much on the negative but tonight we are sharing the love, because we need more of that in this world. 

In all honesty I don’t talk to many of you, and the ones that I do it’s only been once or twice. Please don’t take this the wrong way, mostly I think that I’m not that interesting, so why would you want to talk to me ? If I ever drop out of a conversation randomly it’s because I think I’m boring you and I don’t want to bother you even if you messaged me first . If I never message you first I promise it’s not because I don’t want to talk, but more my brain tells me you only wanted to talk once about that specific topic and then never wanted to interact again. But I promise if you want to talk to me, I’m always game.

That fact that you all continue to follow me and support me even when i’m posting and talking shit, or go through phases of shows that you don’t watch, or post about characters or ship that you don’t like, or sometimes actively hate (*cough*murven*cough*), really does mean alot in this small little world and i want to thank all of you for it... 

Now onto some specifics... in no particular order 

@clarkegriffintitties - i followed you because of you’re url because eternal mood, lets be real. I’m pretty sure I’ve told you this before, another drunk lara declaration, but not a single regret because you are officially my #1 crush, according to Tumblr. So keep doing your thang boo !

@eizagonzalezs - oh meg, a fellow cora hale stan. the literal reason I started watching the 100, you know back in the day when i thought they were canon and their names were the other way around. and ofcourse one of my murvensource gals. follow forever and eternal devotion !

@madigriffen - my other murvensource gal! i’m eternal grateful for you kat because I no longer feel like I’m single handedly coming out with murven content! im both shocked and impressed how quickly you have gained followers, but not at all surprised because you deserve every single on of them.

@blarke - maggie. you gave me this url. and that should be enough to express how much i appreciate you. but it’s not. you love for the boys from my old url, gendry and bell will always be remembered. and i wish you came and talked to me sooner because i honestly can’t remember what it’s like not to follow you, they must have been dark times. ALSO when I was stalking your about page when i first followed you i noticed our birthdays were one day apart, same year and all (different time zones but whatever) and that really excited me, so happy late birthday and hope you’re pumped for your 20′s!

@clarkebell - without a doubt one of my favourite mutuals. can i say, even though you seem like the sweetest most approachable people you intimidate the hell out of me. because you are pretty af, seem so cool and are all around just amazing. also i always love a fellow aussie, you are a blues supporter but i guess i can let that slide 

@starboybellamy - i feel the thing i will always associate with you is the ‘my husband doesn’t understand the meaning of fucking hurry’ text post because it was the most unintentionally blarke thing ever. i always live for you’re bfsn, partly because you’re usually drinking and/or drunk and i respect that, mainly because you are gorgeous ..

@bellofthesky - i followed you because tumblr wouldn’t stop recommending you’re blog. and for once they got something right! despite me not having followed you for very long (5th most recent follow) you are one of my top 9 tumblr crushes. basically, i feel you’re content boo so keep it up xx

@bellarkes-hope - how long have we been mutuals? about a month. how long have i thought we’ve been mutuals? like all year. not much to say other than i dropped the ball, I've corrected that mistake and i’m now out here living my best life will you on my dash

@bb-8 - have i watched a single star wars movie? nope. did i squeal with excitement for you when you got this url? of-fucking-course! cody, you are the queen of icons and an amazing person. and anyone who loves anne bonny as much as i do will always be loved and respected in this house

@sanssa - a multifandom blog that is actually consistently multifandom? sorcery or just an icon? maybe both. Kyra, i feel like you were out there giving me love and supporting me back when i barely had any mutuals and for that you will always have a special place in my heart. i will admit i lost you for a minute there with url changes but i found you again of course you just moved to a different sansa stark url 

@blueshirtbell - Isla you are probably the person who uses my name in the tags the most often and every time it makes me feel warm and fuzzy. also you’re comments on my bfsn are always so sweet and make me smile. you truely are a great person and i feel like everyone in you’re life is better off for it

@bellamynochillblake - you’re ship and let ship attitude is truly an inspiration, and lets be honest a massive relief at times when this fandom can become a negative mess! 

@jarleene - as the author of some of my fave murven fics you will always deserve a special mention. when i saw you updated crazy recently i couldn’t stop smiling. that fic has been a slow process but worth every wait, i couldn’t care less if it ever gets finished because even having any of it is truly a gift!

@hvitserkk - desirae, you followed me soon after i followed you. why? i’ll never know. but you’re url alone is enough reason to love you. in this brief time i’ve already learnt so much from you about colourings and you are always my first stop to learn more! and eternal thank yous for getting me onto animal kingdom

@lieutenantshaw - im? not? worthy? im not sure why i feel this way.. maybe it’s the amazing edits or the whole aesthetic or maybe that your whole blog seems well thought out and clean and i feel like you looking at my blog would kinda be like that ‘damn bitch you live like this?’ picture.. do you feel like you’re blog is like that ? idk,, but if you are happy following me you do you cause it makes me feel good :)

the rest of my mutals - not because i love you less or don’t have anything to say about you but simply because i’m coming down, i’m tired and lazy as all fuck.

if you want a paragraph about why you are amazing swing into my ask box because i guarantee you I’ve got one ;)

@bellammy @p-tonkins @halfbloodduchess @the-most-beautiful-broom @octannibal-blake @failing-at-being-an-angel @diyozaa @niylvh @blakes-griffin @joncthanmurphy @johnmurphe @pandalandalopalis @izzycheeese @grumpymonty @tracylorde @bellamyblakesass @clarkesgrfin @a-timely-interruption @clorkegriffin @platonic-bellarke @abugonahotplate @smoakedvigilanties @beelarkes @inajohncriminalway @kaymarie195 @vixiously @otakujess @harpersmcintyred @the100lunarsship @vulgarvixen4 @head-and-heart @the-ships-to-rule-them-all @deadshotbellamy @fuckitforgendry @spaaleb 

a few things before i go to bed..

if you read your paragraph and gone ‘damn girl that aint me’, so sorry i am drunk and easily confused 

if i have tagged you and you are no longer/never was a mutual, many apologies and best of luck in your future endeavours

if you don’t like this feel free to completely ignore it, i wont mind :)

much love, drunk lara x

[jonesywrites]

Hey, I love your writing! I think I've consumed everything at this point. Do you have any favorite stories you can recommend? I may have blasted through all the fic updates of my own faves and just looking to see if people are reading stuff I might have missed. Looking forward to your next updates! No pressure!

Anon!

First, I am so very sorry it’s taken me so damn long to answer this. 

I actually did answer it - I wrote a very long, very beautifully gif’d post and then accidentally scrolled left on this stupid macbook and I lost the entire fucking thing and I wanted to throw my laptop out of the window.

::calming breaths::

Let us pray that doesn’t happen again this time (I am a klutz, so it’s a definite possibility). Secondly, I decided that now is the perfect time to recreate this answer because a) there are some goddamned talented ass writers out there killing the game rn, b) there are also haters out there trying to steal our joy rn and not only is it not going to work, I think now is a good time to spread the love as far and wide through Richonne as possible, so reblog the shit out of this and get reading if you haven’t already and c) I don’t have time to write the way I want at the moment so I hope this makes up for it.

I also really really need a list I can return to b/c I signed up to read a lot and am still verrry slowly getting through it.

So! Here goes…

Current Favorite Richonne fics…!

1. Round After Round by @nattah-gudgrrl

ZA Canon - Rick and Michonne after 6x10, being domestic and sexy af, round after round.

Holy crap, Anon. I was hooked from the first few words. I’m not finished yet, but this is incredibly sexy and beautifully well-written. Nattah’s writing is hypnotic and poetic. She drops precious gems throughout each chapter with her words, the way she phrases things is so original and addictive. Rick and Michonne are pitch perfect, but so is everyone else (and she’s hilarious, btw). She includes music to score her amazing writing, and trust me, listening to her suggested tracks while reading will only suck you deeper into the tantalizing atmosphere she’s created with these two. AND THE SMUT. HOLY SHIT. Prepare yourself. I love opening up to a chapter and letting myself fall. I almost feel like I need to smoke a joint, turn out the lights, and close my door reading this, no joke. (no seriously, i’m not joking, be alone b/c you will feel thangs down there)

2. Musings of Rick Grimes by @nyese3529

NonZA AU - Rick as a NYC photographer slowly falling head over heels for a charismatic college student Michonne as she becomes his muse.

OKAY. I’m not sure anything I say here will do this amazing piece of fanfiction justice. I’m not even caught up, but the chapters I have read so far are PURE FIRE. Nyese is a master at unfolding a real, atmospheric, moody, sexy, intense, and totally riveting Rick and Michonne for us to fall in love with from the start. Rick’s attraction to Michonne leaps off the page, as does she. She is so damn cute and sexy and seeing her through Rick’s eyes the way Nyese has written them is just to die for. Nyese also NAILS New York City life, especially as a southern transplant and artist (I feel you Rick) AND as a young, gifted black woman looking to make a difference while everyone else covets her light (I feel you Michonne). It’s a beautiful read, and I encourage you to ASAP. The smut is off the chain, as in every fucking moment of it had me squirming around wishing I had me a Rick Grimes here in NYC damn you Nyese you’ve ruined me!

3. The Art of Control by @avintagekiss24

NonZA AU - Rick as a sexy, wealthy contractor Dom and Michonne the comic book shop/cafe owner as his sub in Atlanta (bonus: featuring probably the best version of Maggie I have ever read)

GOTDAMN. Let me tell you something. THIS IS THE SEXIEST RICK GRIMES OF ALL TIME FOR ME. Every fucking word Miss Kiss wrote for him to utter had my panties wet and my brow sweating, do you hear me? This fic is hot as fuck. Even before Rick Grimes shows up in the story, I was feeling hot and bothered about his mere existence, just like Michonne. The way Miss Kiss writes the buildup throughout their relationship is simply riveting. She’s a very visual writer, just like Nyese, so I can see, taste, feel, and ground myself in this stunning world of money, undeniable attraction and absolutely delicious sex. AND DID I MENTION HER MAGGIE IS SEXY AF, FUNNY AF, NAUGHTY AF, AND GODDAMN IT I WOULD SO BE HER PLAYTHING?? The plot is really good, too, like really good. Screw 50 Shades of Garbage. Miss Kiss’s sub!Michonne and Dom!Rick Grimes are what you want, what you need, what you deserve. Go forth, and savor every moment of this. In fact, I need to catch up, myself. Hell yeah.

4. Sirens of the ZA, by @isisnicole

ZA AU - Michonne and her two sisters, fierce, trained fighters, find and protect Carl. Richonne begins to develop once Carl is finally reunited with Rick three years later.

Sigh, I love this fic. Miss Isis hooked me with her stellar opening, and the plot just got more and more compelling the more I read. Carl is still very Carl, but he’s got that “loved, protected, and taught to survive by three amazing black women” vibe to him that makes my heart melt. Ila, Luna, and especially Michonne are just everything in this. EVERYTHING. Their relationship is tight af, they keep it real, they are badass warriors (trained, medal-winning warriors, mind) and even though your heart yearns for Rick and Carl to reunite and for Richonne to soar, you cannot help but fall in love with the family dynamic that Miss Isis has written for them with Carl. The tension between Rick and Michonne is even more intense in this than in canon when they first meet, I’d say, but deliciously so. And once they both start to realize the business, it’s time to pull out the popcorn because the buildup is sooooo good. And did I mention an alive Shane and Merle, also written so well you kinda sorta forget they didn’t make it in canon? Yeah. Read this.

5. Red Dirt Road by @siancore

NonZA AU - Young!Richonne in southern af King County, Georgia, teenagers that fall in love one summer along a red, dirt road.

Honestly, this fic is just perfect. The world is real. I can smell the dirt. I can feel the heat. Rick in this is juuuuuuuust….! He’s everything we think of when we think of a teenaged Rick (but not underage of course). Kind, responsible, stoic, patient, respectful, and sexy. Michonne is a vessel for us all, transporting us back in time to when we went to our grandmama’s house and she bossed us while loving us like nobody else could. The whole gang is there and they’re all written to perfection, especially Shane. He’s as shady and selfish and yet completely charismatic as you’d expect a young Shane to be. The story is so sweet and the pacing is comfortable, fun, and easy, just like those summers we spent messing around with our friends, falling in love, learning to drive, staying out after curfew. I adore Sian’s writing and this is by far my all-time favorite of hers right now. It’s a must, must read! 

To Continue Reading, So Help Me…!

1. HALO, by leeeel

Holy smokes. I have only read chapter one so far and it is absolutely amazing. AMAZING. I reeeeaalllyy need to get back into this one. Rick and Michonne meet under dire circumstances, and the mystery begins. The writing transports you, and I actually got chills reading this. CHILLS.

2. Deception by @severelybabykryptonite

YO. I HIGH KEY LOVE “THE BODYGUARD” AND THIS IS THE RICHONNE VERSION AND IT IS EVERYTHING. Rick as a no-nonsense bodyguard to Michonne’s sexy, vulnerable star is a dream come true. I really need to catch up on this one, it’s just so good and it’s visual and it makes my geeky movie+Richonne loving heart soar. 

3. The Day I Met You, by @chezza3009

I almost don’t know how to describe this one. It’s dark. It’s riveting. It’s nothing like I’ve ever read in Richonne before. Rick and Michonne in the aftermath of an affair that leaves Michonne devastated and Rick a mess. I don’t recognize this version of Michonne or Rick, but then I need to continue reading. What I’ve read so far makes me very, very intrigued by this story. And it shall have my undivided attention ASAP.

4. The Beginning, by @vegasloversteel

Once again, Vegaslover has an uncanny ability to hook you with great story telling, dialogue that flows like “how is she doing this??” and chemistry between Rick and Michonne that vibrates off the page. Richonne is hot hot hot in this. Set in their college years with a great plot and fun with all your faves. Gotta catch up!

5. Palm Trees, by @cake-by-thepound

I AM SO UPSET I CANNOT PARTICIPATE IN ANY OF THE JUICY FIC TALK GOING ON ABOUT THIS STORY RN. Arrrrgggh the spoilers I’ve seen alone are killing me not so softly. I just loooove the way Cake writes Richonne’s worlds. Rich, grounded, dramatic but in a real, honest-to-goodness “that could totally happen to me” way that makes me want to stand up and cheer. I know this is going to be a beautiful ride, so far everything I’ve read is perfection, as usual, so I’m really looking forward to the day I am finally caught up and I can (too late, of course) dip into the forums and be like “GURL. BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT PART WHEN…” 

You Thought I Was Done? LOL.

These are the stories I haven’t gotten to yet, but that are also on my list. I’ve heard nothing but good things and I am hoping to get to them soon!

Right Where We’re Supposed to Be by @tigerwalk3 - I’ve read her mini-fic Sparklers and I cannot wait to dive into this one. Her characterization alone is amazing, and the way she puts phrases and details together makes me low key jealous.

Honey Bees by @cranesinthe-sky - I don’t get enough Michonne and Judith in my fandom diet and I’ve heard some really awesome things about this one. I’ve heard nothing but praise for Lady Cranes’ writing, so I’m excited!

The TWD Chronicles by @yellehughes - I read Yelle’s Richonne Secret Fantasy fic and loved it, and I actually feel rather ashamed that I haven’t gone back to dive into this epic Olympian take on Richonne!! Allow me to correct this, with the quickness. 

The Hunter of Screams, by @codename-me - I started this, and holy crap is it amazing so far. Like me, Lady Codename has a thing for sci-fi and fantasy, and her writing is rich and detailed and visual, which totally turns me on. 

The End of Wanting, by @glowysweetfab​ - I have started this, and love this period AU, it’s immersive and the plot is so interesting I’m not even all that fussed to get to the romance bits (well that’s a lie, of course I’m trolling for smut but I’m really enjoying the ride).

Honestly, there are so many more stories I have favorited/followed that it would take me all night to list them all here. But I will do more posts like these as I finish fics and move on to others, it’s important to me to show the same support for all of these amazingly talented writers that they have shown to me, and to spread as much positivity as possible because they deserve it. 

This fandom is chock a block full of major talent, huge hearts, astonishing intellect, and abundant passion. No one can deny that, and anyone who does is lying. 

READ AND WRITE ON, RICHONNERS!!!!

Thanks for the ask, Anon! 

-Kendra

P.S. I promise I will get back to updating as soon as I can. I’m in the middle of preparing myself to move across the country and transition to a new career. But my beloved fics are always on my mind, and boy do I have such glorious Richonne in store for you! Thanks for sticking with me! I promise you won’t regret adding a few of these ladies to your reading list, either, if you haven’t already.