#I’d give them a shot bc so far no luck lol

[cero-sleep]

I made more memes- *sighs* and it's with me and you my mutual- (24th is doomsday so no sleep because at any time I can screw up and my life is forever ruined-) *remember therapist Sun and Moon* I wish therapist Sun and Moon existed. It's funny thinking about this scenario either way heres the memes with me and you mutual! notepad (*period*) ltd/kptbyril notepad (*period*) ltd/0mroxa31

LMAO SHJSVDJSVDBDNDVDNDDVNC THE MEMES- YOU’RE GONNA KILL ME GLITCHY SHJSJDBDNSVDVDHSH

AND I AM LOOKING AT HOW YOU DREW ME 👁👁 THE NIGHTJAR ENERGY IS IMPECCABLE!!

@thewordofm pspspspspspsps you have to see the second one lol

Also, 24th is doomsday??

[codedredalert]

this might be odd but i really admire your work for law in that op zine and was wondering how you'd manage to come across zines to apply for because it's hard to filter through results on twt and hard to find exactly who is doing what

hey anon, thank you so much! i'm really happy with how that law fic turned out, glad you like it!

not odd at all, i agree it's hard to filter zines! let's see if i can help. this got a bit long bc i misread the question and talked about finding zines to apply for as well as generally what i keep in mind when choosing what zines i apply to so im putting it under a cut

best generally / for fandoms you're already deep in/ fandoms you're less invested in and just happen to think are neat if they pop up. for the op tarot zine, and most zines i applied to/ got into, usually i heard about via word of mouth. so that's reblogs of the promo posts or casual mentions from people I follow, or discord servers, or just chats with friends in that fandom. i like this method because it's the lowest effort and highest likelihood of matching my interests and having the apps still open, and they tend to be a little more reliable bc you already have one layer of someone checking them out/ vouching for them. (but bear in mind i'm also someone who mostly only reads recommended fics from friends whose taste i'm familiar with)

second best/ new fandoms/ fandoms you're not established in. here we have to actually search (boooooo) (i'm lazy lol). you can still use the first method a little bit by searching on the page/blog of a creator you like in that fandom, because that helps filter a bit for interests/ style/ taste/ reliability. i also searched [fandom name] zine or variations. so like "#ygozine" or"yugioh zine" when I was looking for yugioh zines to join. then i consider the application open ones to see if i like the theme, and whether the other details work for me (eg amount of work expected, schedule, rules, faqs, charity/profit, mods, physical/digital only etc).

zine promo / app amalgamation sites. it's pretty easy to find them by looking at existing zines promo posts and seeing the amalgamation blogs/accounts they tag. i don't really use them that much so i can't really recommend specific ones, and the ones i know don't sort easily by fandom or deadline stage, so it's too much work for me personally. i might browse them a little to try my luck but it's the highest effort for the lowest reward. still worth a shot if you can define your search terms well or are willing to trawl. I'd try by just searching the fandom confined to the blog/page. (on tumblr you can do this by adding "/search/[fandom name or shortname]" to the end of the URL.)

very established in a fandom/ willing to ask randomly. you might get invited or someone might drop you an ask saying hey check this zine out they're looking for writers/ other types of creators. you can also just do a general post asking for help like "does anyone know of any zines for [fandom] that are open to apps?" personally and from what i gather from friends, just because they're recommendations doesn't mean that they will necessarily match what you look for in projects but they're worth checking out bc the person recommending usually has some idea of your likes/style/fit. this method has a lot of constraints obviously.

when applying... it may be worthwhile to consider why you're interested in joining, what they are looking for, how many slots they have for what kind of creators, how popular the zine is, what you "specialise" in for the fandom, what your best skills are, what the mods might be looking for (most if not all zines require you to submit sample work). tailor your application. of course, not all zines take writers so your options here might be a little limited (though i'm happy to say i feel like including writing is becoming more common). at the same time, a lot of people underestimate themselves, so definitely apply if you want to even if you feel you might not get in. i think this is probably not what you're asking about though so i wont belabour the point

be careful. i have had the good fortune to have only been in "okay" to "amazing 10/10 extremely trustworthy" zines so far (fingers crossed), but i do have a couple of friends who were burned by dishonest or unreliable zine management before, so do take care! you can save yourself a lot of heartache at the stage when you check out the zine you are applying to. some general indicators for me are whether mod skills cover necessary categories (zines are essentially a business venture and i feel like a lot of people underestimate or do not give enough respect to that); mod experience, age, personal reputations; how questions, rules, schedule, expectations, compensation/charity are addressed. Also these are after joining, but mod treatment of contributors via email or in the discord server and how assignments are handled are early enough that you can form your own assessment and drop if necessary.

take care of yourself also i feel like in these trying times i want to add a note on mental health. i see this too often in my friends, but if your personal circumstances change and you feel like you can't handle the zine obligations anymore, just drop. early is better than late for both you and the organiser, and respectful communication of "sorry i can't be part of the zine anymore for personal reasons" is totally fine. you don't have to disclose anything you don't want to in order to leave and no one can force you to. it's also okay if you don't get into a zine. it doesn't say anything about your worth as a person, even though we as creators can feel rejection of our work very deeply. take time to recover, block/mute/unfollow whatever keywords or accounts you have to for even the tiniest of arbitrary reasons (i absolutely do and highly recommend it), take time to nurture your skills, take time to make things that bring joy, take time to appreciate yourself and the people who like your work. maybe i'm just old/lucky but fandom has been an incredibly accepting and enjoyable place and rejection from a zine (though it can hurt like a bitch sometimes) is not rejection from the community.

i hope this was helpful!

[mittensmorgul]

Unpopular opinion: Portraying Sam and Dean as worthless, incompetent hunters who learned nothing from their father's training or a lifetime of hunting bc it was all God is disrespecful as hell. Sam and Dean are--well, were, I guess--heroes who stood up to monsters, angels and demons as ordinary people. Tonight destroyed all of that.

I mean, I’d agree with you, if I thought that was actually what the show had done. Sam and Dean currently BELIEVE that, and are making choices based on that assumption, but is it actually true?

I can’t believe it is. I think they’ve made an incorrect assumption, and are going to “pay a price” for having made a bad choice based on that belief...

Because we’ve been shown that’s how Chuck arranges things. That’s how he “tells his stories.”

When in the previous episode, Chuck’s final words to Sam were the statement that Sam had “lost hope,” and the pronouncement that Sam and Dean weren’t the heroes of the story; and when Dean stood up to him and said he and Sam would never “perform” the story Chuck wanted to see them act out (like “all the other Sams and Deans” eventually did in all his other universes), it was like they’d thrown down a gauntlet for him. Dean PUNCHED CHUCK IN THE FACE. That was the gauntlet-slap.

To me, this episode felt like Chuck’s petty (and rather crackpot) attempt to manipulate them into believing that this is what they truly are without his Divine Cosmic Help, and honestly, THAT is what I am calling bullshit on. The show is practically BEGGING us to see that.

I mean, if Dean had had ONE cavity, I could buy it was just bad luck. If Baby had ONE bad spark plug, I could buy it was just a normal sort of problem that normal people face. But the sheer number of failures they experienced went so far beyond “normal” as to be cartoonish. No normal person has EVER had a day like that. But the fact that Sam and Dean were so willing to BELIEVE it, even after Dean had been convinced at the beginning of the episode that they were CURSED... he let Sam (and Garth, and Bess) talk him OUT of that conviction.

Dean: No. No, no, no. This is -- this is more than just a no good very bad day, okay? Chuck must have boned us before He left, you know. Or maybe some of that crap you brought back from Rowena's went sideways. Because this. This is not normal.

But by the end of the episode, Dean was beginning to believe that this was very much their “new normal.” To the point where he’s willing to drive to Alaska and pay whatever price to get back their “lost luck.” And honestly, THAT WAS THE POINT. It’s shaken DEAN’S WILL, his BELIEF IN HIMSELF. Which is pretty much the ONLY weapon he had against Chuck in the first place.

Honestly, to me, the thing that convinced me that they were actively being hindered (i.e. that Chuck was actively working to PREVENT them from succeeding at anything on their own) was the fact that not even their reputation as The Winchesters was worth anything to the monster fighty dude. Not even the vast over-preparedness they went into that warehouse with was enough to give them ANY sort of advantage.

They weren’t “normal,” they were DOOMED TO FAIL, because Chuck was proving a point. A point they willingly bought into, despite the overwhelming evidence that they were being specifically held back from succeeding, at anything.

They’re still struggling to understand exactly how Chuck is capable of interfering with their lives. And while I appreciate Dean admitting that their choices have been their own, and not everything about their lives was down to Chuck, the fact that he let himself be talked out of the conviction that Chuck “boned” them before leaving (lol as if Chuck would leave NOW, when things just began to get interesting for him again, just when he’s untethered himself from Sam and can finally “see” the Winchesters again) means he’s still subject to Chuck’s terrible plot...

So I agree with you. If that had been the point of the episode, it would’ve been a bunch of bullshit. If the episode hadn’t included all the references to all the “we are literally actually cursed” episodes, and all the “we are directly being manipulated by cosmic forces” episodes... I mean...

literally actually cursed:

3.03 Bad Day At Black Rock: The rabbits foot gave them ACTUAL GOOD LUCK. Their good luck was so entirely OTT that Dean joked he was Batman. They easily identified it as ridiculous levels of good luck. Until they lost the foot (because EVERYONE loses the foot, it’s part of the CURSE). Their luck didn’t go back to normal, it went cosmically, horribly BAD. So bad, Bobby told them, “you’re dead within a week.” Because that was how the curse worked. Their entire lives haven’t been “lucky.” And Dean would normally be the first person to admit that. His first instinct in this episode was to wonder if he’d been subjected to a similar curse because of how comically bad his luck had turned.

5.08 Changing Channels: the first clue was all the “Seriously? SERIOUSLY?” stuff at the beginning. I was half expecting Sam to get slapped in the face and called a “brilliant coward.” But we even got a NUTCRACKER! callback, only this time it was Dean that took the shot to the crotch... Not just the comic gags of the episode, though, but the Bigger Plot of how and why they were being put through all those tv shows, being forced to LEARN A LESSON, of Gabriel messing with them and pushing them into PLAYING THEIR ROLES, and ACCEPTING THEIR DESTINY.  Please tell me that’s not EXACTLY the lesson Chuck would want them to learn after 15.09.

3.11 Mystery Spot: or that one where NOTHING Sam did, no matter how many chances he was given to replay that day, could’ve saved Dean. Sam was nerfed. Effectively rendered powerless against the story, and in the “dark half” of the episode was driven on a misguided revenge quest against the Trickster. Sam couldn’t even begin to see the bigger picture, and believed that just because he’d broken free of the “time loop” that he was actually engaging with reality, that Dean was actually perma-dead, and had isolated himself from all his friends and gone off the rails in his single-minded trek to hunt down the monster that had done this to him... all the while he was focused on the wrong thing and was still trapped in the “make-believe scenario” Gabriel had established for him. Because, golly, that sounds like the exact spot they’re in RIGHT NOW, having been convinced that their run of bad luck is the direct result of Chuck NOT interfering in their lives, casting them as the “heroes” of his story. And I don’t believe that’s what has happened, at all. I believe Chuck is more focused on them, directly, than he ever has been before.

Heck, I wrote this post before the episode aired, and I stand by it 100%:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/190429024710/episodes-i-expect-1510-to-remind-me-of-based-on

Because Sam and Dean haven’t had “hero status” stripped from them. Chuck is WAY too petty to just “give up the story” and render his main characters inept all of a sudden. Sam and Dean are still “his guys.” They’re still the main characters of an obsessive writer who’s directly fighting against their will. This is like... the inverse of 4.18, where Chuck “wrote himself into the story.” This is his reaction to his characters declared intent to “write themselves OUT of his story,” to DEFY his story. This is Chuck’s idea of petty revenge for using their free will against him.

In that context, the context of the larger arc of s15, this is like... textbook illustration of how Chuck has been grinding down their will, pushing them to make Terrible Choices against their own better judgment, because that’s where he wanted the story to go. I think we need to keep that in mind, that the story ITSELF is the big bad, and Chuck’s just had all his powers restored to him. Assuming he wouldn’t immediately put those powers to their full use at his first available opportunity is just... daffy.

Dabb has been writing Looney Tunes since 8.08. I’ve been writing Looney Tunes meta since at least as far back as s11:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/144577425855/chuck-amuck

I will point to the WB cartoon that I believe Dabb has been framing Chuck’s character around all along: Duck Amuck (I’ve embedded other versions on tumblr before, but they always get taken down because copyright... so have a link to where you can watch it... I swear it’s worth the time: https://dai.ly/x5yczh1

And this is what Chuck is trying to convince Sam and Dean is their current situation:

when what they need to recognize, and what Chuck DESPERATELY needs them to keep them from realizing, as long as he can continue pushing them to “we had no other choice” scenarios and distract them from just rejecting his story entirely, is this:

[thewaterisblackwithvenom]

My initial impression of Kieran was that he was an anxious, weak nerved kiss-up. I mean he doesn’t make any attempt to fight back when Arthur captures him, even if he stands there and does nothing. Dude’s got a gun. Makes zero attempt to go for it. My initial thoughts was he was too cowardly to even fight back, when in reality Arthur was running for him with a lasso. His hands are literally full. Who Arthur is doesn’t really matter; he doesn’t have a weapon drawn and is clearly trying to take him alive. Unless he’s a massively terrible shot, he could’ve easily shot Arthur. Clearly he’s more afraid of what Colm will due to him than just dying(which makes sense, especially with how he went out : )))) ), so it really would’ve been in his best interest to die trying to kill Arthur instead of being captured, most likely killed, and most likely tortured beforehand. Far as I can figure, reasons for just surrendering would’ve been

Fear (logical, but with his biggest fear being whatever Colm would do to him, doesn’t seem as likely, even if he was straight up panicking)

Pacifism (not saying he’s a pacifist, but he’s definitely not a fighter by nature, despite his will to live) 

Once he’s captured, he holds out for about a month in sh*t conditions. He breaks once they turn their violent attention to him, but even then he still tried to hold out. The only reason I can think of why he wouldn’t just talk is fear of what Colm would do to him if he made it out alive. If he was scared that the Van Der Lindes would kill him after he talked, he could’ve stayed quiet longer, I guess, though really who could hold out when you’re being threatened with castration lmao.

After the fact, I expect my initial impression to be right. It wasn’t. I mean, I was 100% right about him being a genuinely nice person, not exactly cut out for outlaw life, and not a rat or weaselly person. Things I were wrong about were his general demeanor. 

He’s a naturally positive and friendly person. Despite being constantly picked on and flat out threatened, he’ll even greet Sadie(who is probably most likely to kill him in the beginning, let’s be honest) with a level of confidence I didn’t expect. He doesn’t slink around her with his head down, but is 100% aware that she hates him, and I’ve never heard him try to change that. He’ll greet her, but goes out of his way to let her know that “I’m here and realize that you hate me so I’m giving you space”. Anyone else who calls him “O’Driscoll”, he’ll get upset and correct them. Sadie straight up tells him to die and he doesn’t say boo. I love that he is aware of her pain and doesn’t try to change her feelings about him just so he can sleep better at night. He plays the long game; respecting her boundaries, and not giving her any other reasons to hate him, hoping that someday she’ll maybe at least not despise him for just being connected to her enemies in the past. He could b*tch and moan about how he had nothing to do with Jake’s murder; he wasn’t there, he didn’t pull the trigger, and he didn’t want that to happen. He really is innocent. But he leaves that and her the f*ck alone, the only contact he initiates is just general politeness. She makes real threats, and he has ever reason to believe her, but he still has the balls to not cower around her. If anyone else in the gang makes any kind of “O’Driscoll” comment, he gets genuinely irritated and corrects them, even if it’s hopeless. Not just the women, who(save for Sadie and Mrs. Grimshaw) aren’t a threat. But he’ll get upset and snap back at Arthur and Javier that he’s not an O’Driscoll. I don’t believe for a second that Kieran thinks he could beat either of them in a fight. He’s not a fighter, and he’s also not stupid. He’s survived about half his life being beaten around. The reason he’s survived could be luck, but also him knowing how far he can press his luck with very dangerous people. I used to find it amusing in the beginning when he’d snap back, because like. Lmao, you really wanna get upset with Arthur? Seriously? Dude. Don’t go there.

He stands up for himself, and is confident enough in himself to be as bold as to say to Arthur’s face, that he’s not a bad person, and that’ll he’ll warm to him eventually. That also caught me off guard, because I was under the general assumption “god this kid is me. anxious af, doesn’t like people, just likes horses”. I projected far too much lmao, because despite him feeling more comfortable with horses, he’s pretty outgoing, in a confident way. If people are just indifferent to him, he has no problem going out of his way to greet people with confidence. When he’s being bullied, he’s ballsy enough to stand up for himself, and when people are genuinely nice to him, he’ll show signs of being flustered/anxious, likely due to the fact he probably has very little experience with kindness. Whatever kindness he experienced outside family was most likely fake and extremely conditional. He never made any comments about having relationships of any kind with anyone. His life has been about survival. He knows how to not press his luck with the wrong people, knows basic social manners(how to be friendly without being overbearing, how to give people space, and even when he helped Molly out of the stagecoach), but I feel like he has the least experience in healthy relationships. Relationships where someone is actually nice to him. That’s also why I’m 1,000% peeved that we didn’t really get to befriend him. Watching him come out of his shell more was so nice. Save for his massive guilt about Jack(which wasn’t even his fault anyway), he was finally starting to feel like he belonged there. Sh*t hurts man.

I think the thing that caught me most off guard was his level of confidence that you really get to see in his fishing side mission.

Arthur says that he’s(Arthur) not that great a fisherman, and Kieran, not missing a beat, comes back with “But I am! *laughs* I’ll teach you something.”, all of which happens seconds after Kieran is done straight up mocking Arthur’s teasing of him. If I hadn’t spent 5,000 years wandering around camp, and getting to see everyone’s personalities that you’d miss if you flew through story mode, that mission would’ve made my head spin. If your impression of Kieran is “soft scared horse boy”, there’s so much that happens in like, a minute that’d throw you off.

Arthur asks Kieran if he’s going fishing

Kieran, likely caught off guard by someone going out of their way to interact with him in a non-hostile way, says yes

Arthur, incapable of just being nice to him follows up with a threatening tone “... or running back to Colm O’Driscoll?”, bc f*ck this guy actually knowing I’m starting to warm up to him, I have to be a Big Tough Outlaw bc I am a Bad Man

Kieran, irritated and a bit nervous now, snaps back that of course he’s not 

Arthur responds by bumping his fist against Kieran’s shoulder/chest, gives an amused chuckle, and responds with “pffft, I’m just joking w/ u lol relax”  (I love this interaction because it really shows, at least to me, that Arthur is genuinely starting to like Kieran. instead of continuing along the lines of “watch yourself”, his tone and body language gestures that “I don’t mean it, I’m just messing with you”. Even if he’s still being an *ss, it’s not like his previous interactions. The playful physical contact, non-menacing laugh, and “I’m just kidding w/ u” comment are all friendly gestures. He wouldn’t do any of those if he actually didn’t like Kieran. Arthur’s not a touchy-feely “I’ll fake like I’m your friend so I can slit your throat later” kind of person)

Kieran’s nervousness instantly melts away and he responds with “wow. ur so funny. hah hah. rlly had me goin there. ur hilaaaaarious.” he’s 100% done and just rolls his eyes at this point.

Arthur just goes “shut up”, and I love the way he says it this time bc he’s more like. Offended/irritated that he’s being sassed instead of actually meaning “shut up or else”. He’s all “>:((( shut up brat” and it’s cute lmao. 

Not two seconds after Arthur tells Kieran to shut up, he absolutely doesn’t and invites him fishing. Like, a genuine “hey wanna go fishing?” and not like, a “desperate for your approval, please give me more opportunities to prove myself to you”.

Arthur says he’s not a great fisherman, and Kieran responds with “Yeah but I am!”, laughs, and says he can teach Arthur something.  I found this part super fascinating, because as someone with severe anxiety, my response would’ve been totally different. I’m confident in a few areas; I know what I’m good at, and what I’d be semi-competent at teaching people, but if someone-- especially someone higher on the social ladder than I am-- said that they weren’t good at something, that I was really good at, I always try and downplay things so as not to make the other person feel like they’re lesser than me. I like to think my art skills are decent, so if that kind of situation came up “I’m not a great artist”, my response would be more like “Heh neither am I, but I know some tricks that have made things a lot easier. I can show them to you!” Kieran straight up told Arthur Morgan that he’s a great fisherman, and could teach Arthur something. Former O’Driscoll, teaching Dutch’s right hand man something. That was a cocky move, even if it’s true. I love that he has the confidence to flat out say that without even backpedaling. Kid knows his worth and isn’t afraid to just blurt it out.

Arthur responds with a friendly “Sure”. Not like an “yeah alright fine”, but more like how he responds to people who considers friends. Come to think of it, other than certain instances where Kieran pushes his luck here, Arthur is friendlier/less hostile and grumpy with Kieran than he is with Sean lmao. Granted, Sean is uhhh, overbearing and obnoxious, but Arthur sees him as a younger sibling, not an ex-O’Driscoll. 

On their way to the beach, Kieran brings up past vs present. “who would’ve thought we’d be going fishing together when it wasn’t that long ago that I was tied up on the back of your horse begging for mercy?” He says it with such a light hearted tone like it wasn’t even a big deal. He could’ve died from dehydration/starvation/the cold, and he’s literally like “isn’t life funny?” Don’t know whether to be impressed that it didn’t leave him with serious trauma and resentment or said that maybe he doesn’t see it as that big a deal because he’s had worse. Either way, the way he says it is interesting to me.

Ofc Arthur has to remind him “how do you know I’m not dragging you away from camp to kill you?” bc again, can’t let this kid know I’m actually starting to like him. He Must Know that I am a Big Bad Threat.  “..because I saved your life”  “ya and every day I don’t kill you I’m saving yours” “you don’t mean that” “yes I do I am Serious so shut it” Kieran knows Arthur well enough that while the threat is still a touch unnerving, he has the guts to point out that he doesn’t mean it. he knows Arthur well at this point, and despite the slight possibility he might actually mean that, he choses to believe it’s just Arthur being... Arthur.

Throughout the trip, Kieran opens up about camp life and his past, and in general Arthur doesn’t have anything that nice to say. Arthur’s genuinely a nice person, but I wouldn’t call him “soft”, so that doesn't’ surprise me. Despite this, he’s not exactly mean to Kieran like he used to be. He’s not remotely sympathetic, but at the same time he wouldn’t be for really anyone else, either. Maybe the women bc women, but. However, towards the end, when Kieran talks about losing his family and being on his own since then, Arthur does comment along the lines of “well, look at it this way, you’ll never be alone again”. I could be misinterpreting it, but I think that’s Arthur’s way of saying “you’re one of us now”. Can’t really say anything nice to him or show sympathy, but “you’ll never be alone again” could’ve been his way of trying to comfort him in an offhand sort of way.

Not what Arthur meant, but I couldn’t help but laugh when Kieran was like “do you think Dutch trusts me now?” me and Arthur both laughed, sad thing is I laughed bc I’m like “yo Dutch don’t even trust Arthur lmaooo, shoot for something actually obtainable Kieran”

This is already five pages longer than I intended it to be lmao, but literally my entire point is that my impression of Kieran had been that he was a soft, nervy person with low self confidence. The way I see it, all the evidence proves that he’s a lot more than a lot of people give him credit for. 

He is a sweetheart by nature; I really don’t think there’s a mean bone in his body. He’ll stick up for himself and get irritated, but I can’t think of a single instance where he did or said anything mean-spirited. He’s helpful for the sake of being helpful, and is grateful for any actual kindness shown to him. He grows to genuinely care about the gang’s overall well being, and goes so far as to flat out state he’d give his life for Jack’s if he could, despite Jack being a brat to him in the beginning. But despite the fact that he’s a kind hearted individual, he will stand up for himself, and if the follower glitch dialog is accurate, he will engage in combat if he has to. A lot of his dialog is pretty snarky too, which I thought was interesting. I thought he’d be a lot more jumpy and nervous during a shootout, but again I was wrong.  To me all evidence points to his anxiety/nervousness all being circumstantial. It really only presents itself when his safety is actively being threatened, and in foreign situations(people going out of their way to be friendly to him; catches him off guard). So yeah, I think you could technically call him an anxious person and it be somewhat accurate, but he’s not anxious like people today are. His anxiety isn’t “across a broad range of circumstances”, as are anxiety disorders. I think it’s more accurate to say that Kieran is a pretty self confident, moderately outgoing person with a bright personality, despite the sh*t he’s been and still going through. And that’s what I love about him.

I started out feeling bad for him, with a touch of amusement, just for the fact that I really did pity him. He just seemed like such an unfortunate person. I felt really bad having to bring him in, because my general impression was that he’s really not meant for the outlaw life and was probably a nice person. Hated having to bring him in, but having read his bio before playing the game, I was at least relived that his position as part of the gang meant that me bringing him in wasn’t going to result in having to be the cause of his demise. Him being tied up for weeks made me feel really bad since I couldn’t do sh*t to help him out any, because Arthur didn’t give a damn. Poor thing didn’t even have shelter when it rained in 40℉ weather, and didn’t even have his coat on. Once he was free to move around, I was a bit surprised at how confident he was in greeting Arthur. Save for Tilly, in my game, Kieran greets Arthur more than anyone else in camp. Always bright and cheery. Seeing as how I spent most of my time in camp on the outskirts doing chores(see also: avoiding Dutch lmao), running into Kieran a lot was unavoidable, especially because Arthur’s morning routine is cooking breakfast by the campfire. Eeeevery morning, there’s Kieran. Literally can tell what hour it is by where Kieran is and what he’s doing, and vice versa. If it’s 2pm, I know exactly where Kieran is. With how much time I spent at camp, it didn’t take any time at all before I was very familiar with him. I never had any negative feelings or suspicion towards him, but other than our shared fondness for horses, I had no real reason to like him(pity isn’t exactly a reason to like someone after all). But I grew fond of him so quickly ever since dragging him down from Colter, especially after he saved Arthur. He was brave enough to stick up for himself, brave enough to risk his life saving Arthur, and brave enough to state that he’s “one of you now”. He does more than his fair share of chores every day, stays out of everyone’s way, and remains bright and friendly despite his sh*t circumstances. Oh and he loves horses. Those are the reasons I grew attached to him, and still am. I thought he was just 1889 me, but now I realize he’s a lot of what I wish I was. I love his confidence, despite the fact that he has no one backing him up. Ever. I have supportive people backing me, and yet if someone says sh*t to my face it’s going to make me seriously question my worth. Kieran Duffy fights back anxiety, plants his feet and defends himself. I’m f*cking proud of that boy.

Oh my GOD this is embarrassingly long lmao, but I f*cking love Kieran Duffy with all my heart and I feel like so many overlook how strong he actually is. He’s not an ~anxious soft boy~. He’s sweet, and kind, hard working and self reliant, open and honest, confident and snarky, and is just overall such a lovable, wonderful person. He’s not a weak little snitch, nor a skittish people-pleaser. He wants to be liked for who he is, and while he’s always trying to prove himself, he plays the long game and lets that happen naturally. He’s not a boot licker like Micah. I hate that a lot of the gang gave him such constant sh*t, and that despite the fact no one liked him, Micah was treated like “one of the gang”, when he said so much sh*t. Motherf*cker made comments about throwing out the women since they were “dead weight who you can’t even f*ck”, and older “less useful” members like Uncle and Swanson. Meanwhile Kieran works himself to death on a daily basis, but all the Big Men of camp pretty much hold his past over him constantly, despite the fact that he didn’t have a choice, and wasn’t even really part of the gang. It’s just really sh*tty and I hate it lmao.

I’m going to shut up now and pray to GOD this doesn’t make it into the tags or so help me I’ll tag it later lmao. 

[survivormetaverse]

Finale - "I. Love. Power." ~Jodi

I'm having a very emotional moment right now, let me just write about my feelings. I spent this entire game countering advantages. Because I wanted to put this game in my own hands. If I had not gotten rid of Dennis in that twist with no advantages, Dennis would've cruised through and when time came, decided to target me when he wanted to and he would have protection. Same with Colin for example, sure, maybe he wouldn't gun for me but he also could've just cruised from Final 7 to Final 4 with his 3 advantages and my fate in this game would've been in HIS hands. If he wanted to keep me he'd do it and if not then he wouldn't. I wanted my game in my own hands, and that's what I did. People kept thinking I was playing a backstabbing game for no reason, but in reality, I just wanted a fair shot at this game and creating my own fate. I don't think that's unfair. Having 9 advantages in the merge as somebody with nothing terrified me, as I suspected they'd all be concentrated in one place. I was not wrong. I rightfully targeted Dennis for having 2 huge advantages, then rightfully targeted Colin for receiving all of Dennis' stuff, then Elle for literally sitting on 2 (suspected) idols and a steal-a-vote. I do not know why I am being crucified for just wanting to have a fair playing field. Even sitting here at final 5, we still have one final idol to counter. When Josh approached me to flip on Colin, Elle, and Amy, I found a light in this game again. Somebody who had the same objectives as I did wanted to play this game with me. He didn't see me as a threat to win, which meant he would've taken me to the end. So many unlucky things happened to me in this game and I just know that people want me out of this game so bad but I just wanted to survive and have a real shot at this. That's all it really was. 

~

I think this is the biggest immunity I need to win. Because if I'm in F4, I think I can at least force fire making. But here today, I believe I need to win it not just to take immunity away from Amy or Elle, but that I think if Jared wins it, my game is literally dependent on a literal 50/50 guess of who the idol is going to be played on. Elle made it obvious that they want to target Jared from last night, so if Anastasia wins it, I might still be ok. I don't want Jared to win this. Straight up. He said he'll cut me at 4 anyways so I'm not going to play with my heart this round. I seriously want this immunity win so bad. You know, I'm sure the jury disagrees and despises me, but I truly think I played one of the most brilliant strategic games, at least for a newbie. I battled 9 advantages with NOTHING in my pocket since merge, with nothing but a social and strategic knack and love for the game of Survivor. At the merge, I got included into a 6-person majority alliance and a 3-person ride or die alliance. I knocked out a guy with 2 huge advantages at F11. I had control over every single pair at F10. I got knocked out at F9 with a CHAOS idol, despite the premise of Survivor being to NOT get votes. I fought back in at F8 as somebody who is incredibly bad at comps. I then voted out one of my #1 allies, the one that would NEVER cut me, even at 4, to create trust and move me further into the game. I created immunity for 3 people at F7 to keep my only 2 close allies left safe, by far my game winning move. I did this and knocked out my biggest competitor without having to write his name down, and with an idol in his pocket. At F6, I had a strong enough alliance to split votes. Unfortunately lost Josh to rocks, but I'm still here. My job at F5 is to either guess correctly to place votes on Amy or Elle or to win immunity. Because at F4, I could at least get Anastasia or Jared to force fire for me. I am so close. So close. 

Ahahahahaha well I have regrets about giving the steal to Elle. One - I forgot to tell them it was good until 5 so elle played it to remove anastasia? (Idk if I've already written about this but oh well) from the possibility of rocks. During the discussion once Josh said that he would vote elle I knew I was going to rocks one because it was fun and spicy and two because they were all set on elle and it seemed josh wasn't really going to vote with us so like it would have been rocks anyway. If I had known the round would be like that I would have held it myself and if I was rocked out lol but if I had it I wouldn't have played it and then elle and myself would be in as much control as is possible at 5. I mean I have the merge idol still plus having 3 of 5 votes please ugh the dream but OH WELL. I cannot wait to just list all my mistakes in this game 🤣🤣🤣 whoopsies. Anyway I'm excited to be immune I'm just worried that the others will just vote out elle because it's easy and / or they will just say to. I have my money on jodi to win this unfortunately because she is so social and would know the most about everyone. And I know nothing about these children bc I was on vacay the whole time. However I also think Jared still has his necklace. I would prefer f3 not have any of the j names lol. However we will see how it goes. I need to get there first and f4 is going to be tough. That's why I want elle still here so we can force fire for more spice. This is such a fun game which consists mostly of me saying whoopsies. Anyway that's all I got bc I am in a travel nightmare weeeeee.

I CANNOT BELIEVE I JUST PULLED OUT INDIVIDUAL IMMUNITY AT FINAL 5 I am an anti comp beast but I win when I need it 😭😭

Sigh... At this point it's like, might as well fight to the end, right?? Might as well fight like hell and make it to FTC. Jodi's almost a sure fire, and part of me is like, "let's see what'll happen when there are 3 hella strong players at FTC". Not a single goat present. I think I want Jared and Anastasia gone for that to be a reality. Granted, I'm not sure I'd win, but also wouldn't it be spicy to find out??? Anyways, I wouldn't be surprised if I go this round.

Nobody is talking to me, does everybody have idols??? I must be the loneliest F5 immunity winner ever

~

I. Love. Power. That’s it that’s the confessional 

~

https://youtu.be/Yt5OI_LfEiQ

~

Roses are red, I'm good under pressure, Who will sit next to me at the end of this adventure?

https://youtu.be/yB5WoxgC-FA

I think I am toast at f4. It sounds like either everyone wants to take anastasia or vote her out but I'm about to play the idol and then I just told anastasia I'd go to rocks for her bc people are between wanting to take her or take her out at 4. I can't believe it sounds like elle wants to take jodi to f3 to be spicy like Jodi will win hahahahaha I have been trying to vote her out since the chaos idol but she had such a hold on people you know what congrats to her 🤣 I can't believe she's even still here rn. Maybe I should have tried to flip it onto jodi rather than go to rocks at 6. Apparently both anastasia and jodi are saying brayden doesn't like them in the game but that literally makes no sense 1 bc brayden is anastasia's bestie irl and 2 bc brayden literally wished good luck for jodi to win before he was gone. I hope they put the votes on me here so I can idol someone out and not just to be safe lol. I kind of hope jared also idols but in that case I'm definitely toast at f4 lol bc idk why they all want to sit by jodi she has convinced them the jury hates her but we literally all said if she makes it to the end she wins ☠️ and tbh I cant say it in the game or they will definitely vote me out but I will vote jodi to win if I'm in the jury and she's f3. If it's anastasia elle and jared I probably vote elle tbh but that one I'll have to hear cases more. It's a fun one for sure! But like the fact that I literally flipped on everyone and had a hand in everyone sitting on the jury.... And I still haven't received any votes is wild. And people just handed me immunity twice. Hahahaha I really think f4 is my end unless I can force fire between anastasia and jodi like why is that even an option. I guess it's not currently on me? But wtf is this I just can't see wanting to take jodi 🤣 everyone loves her despite what she is claiming lol. But I really think everyone in f5 has a solid case. Anastasia never needed immunity or advantages. Jared was last of the fools by merge and made it here and had an idol. Elle had me hand them an advantage lol was able to force rocks to avoid being out and had an idol. Jodi made it this far after having been chaos idoled out then won her way back and still was the biggest threat yet everyone wanted to keep her. Then there's me who no one knows I was the cause of the fake idol, the steal a vote (though played WEIRD), the merge idol yet (though they suspect), the mistake of fucking up the colin vote, the mistake of the 150 buy am advantage thing, the mistake of handing away my advantage, the mistake of not just trying to switch it to get jodi out instead of rocks, but yet here I am lol. It would be a fun one to win that's for sure because it's a hilarious story that I legit wasn't going to play at all. Maybe had I not been drinking so much on vacay and prevacay I would have made sounder decisions but sometimes it pays off to not seem as calculating and just blend in. Here's hoping 1) my merge idol is real (that would be evil if not) and 2) final immunity is something I can win. That's all I got I've been on planes for 12 days it feels like. Love to everyone hosting, in the game, and in the VL.

https://youtu.be/BqX6sSSPOqc

~~~

Power Ranking Update:

Jodi: Immunity has given her the ability to dictate who goes home. She is in the middle of two sides right now: Elle & Amy vs. Anastasia & Jared. She’s giving more consideration to Elle & Amy since Jared, apparently, has explicitly told her that he would cut her at Final 4. This has given their relationship a lot of tension. Thus, it seems that Jodi is making the move first before he can make the move against her.

Elle: Doing everything they can to save their own ass. Has decided to make a deal with Jodi that seems to be very tempting and good if they want to make it to the end. Has the most power because they are on the bottom giving them the biggest credibility. This late game allyship will prove very beneficial.

Amy: Is going to idol. Is safe. Not doing much. Just vibing.

Anastasia: She has not done much in terms of planning this round. However, she has correctly deduced that Amy has the idol. Despite that, she is going to be left out of this plan if it comes to it which may put her in a very precarious spot at Final 4.

Jared: Explicitly telling Jodi that he was going to target her at Final 4 was the Wrong (Capital W) move. Now, he is mega on Jodi’s radar and has since been on Elle’s and Amy’s radar. His under the radar game is being exposed by a poor choice of honesty so close to the end.

~~~

This is my time to shine. I've studied the game since preparing for my buyback. I have a notebook from June 8 that says all the past vote outs, rounds, challenges, etc. I will stay up all night to know this game front and back. This win is mine. 

~

11:06pm PST check in: So far, I've memorized all challenge scores and times (honestly some of these times were really easy, like 57:50.17 or 1:02:26.69) and I'm working on votes against next, then twists. Doing well so far!

~

12:05AM PST Check in: I have now completed the placings, votes against and order of vote out. I am 99% I'm the only one here who knows the actual breakdown of the invisible round votes, so I hope that makes s difference for me. I mainly did this because I don't know how Raffy wants to call us. For example, Dennis was the 8th person voted out, in 11th place, with 10 votes against, and the 1st member of the jury. That's a lot of titles! My next hour is going to be dedicated to learning the names of the twists. These are hard terms that I might not necessarily remember. I don't even remember the buy back one, it's like Samaraasdfa;s something I'll figure it out lol

~

1:04am PST check in: Studying the hunts and twists of the season! Hunts: Chidori yoshino Futuba sakura Shadow Yu Nyx Shadow Teddie Nyarlathotep Twists: Patience Decisions, Decisions (Fortify spirit, debilitate, transparency) Fusion First and Last Samarecarm Survivor Market Invisible Round All or Nothing Jared goes home 🥺💔

~

should I give up immunity and take Amy out in fire? 

The second I saw what the challenge was, I knew it was Jodi’s to win. The first thing she said to me was “I studied your game” and then she studied for the buyback, she’s been studying this whole time. Sorry I’ve been drinking at Disney then had 1 hour after work to study and all that helped with was the names one lol. I kept track of the ones that I mathed wrong or knew but the time countdown was too stressful to think and it was 4 meaning we would have tied LOL oh well.I just hope elle doesn’t turn on me and I can at least go to fire. I told anastasia before that I would force fire for her is the others want her gone but if it’s me or her sorry girl.The difficult part is IF I make it out of this tribal, I still truly believe it’s Jodi’s game to win. If I’m in the jury I’m probably voting Jodi but maybe Elle. I have a lot to convince the jury of because I was so behind the scenes. I think I have Dennis and Colin for sure for votes, Babs is a mystery. I think Josh hates us all but I’m the direct reason he was rocked out. Jodi has Brayden and Jared and probably Jay I think. So it would be really tough to beat Jodi. I will have to use the exact arguments that I don’t actually agree with that were used against me in subrosa (though there I wasn’t voted at 9, it was like 24 lol) saying I was at least never voted out and you shouldn’t need to win challenges to keep yourself alive. I will have to use her own words and say it can be seen as being a coward to not commit to a vote and instead try to keep your hands clean (the Jared vote) so whoever survived she could be good with but also good with the jury members even though he straight up said he made Jared play his idol on her to be able to vote him out soon after lol. Idk I’m thinking ahead of myself bc honestly if I were them I’d vote me out right here. I do want to reiterate that I think Jodi is amazing and we play pretty similar game styles overall. I just made messy moves all game channeling my inner Raffy. I wish this challenge would have been the chop style bc I think jodi loses and Elle wins. Oh well. I’m sunburnt and dehydrated and exhausted bye! Hope I make FTC but we will see lol

So idr what i said last. Ana's gonna have to go. I'm gonna tell her tomorrow morning. I feel bad bc I did mean it at the time when I asked if she wanted to go to fTC with me like 2 rounds ago but then I kept thinking about a spicy FTC and then Jodi reached out and :/// i feel bad but at least i'll tell her. But yeah! Looks like we're going to FTC, guys :) watch me get voted out tomorrow for getting cocky 😂 you truly are never safe in this game

I have decided what I'm going to do tonight.... Who ever thought I'd get here? I guess my studying paid off. Tonight is a big tribal council, because it's more nuanced than just sending 2 people to fire or voting somebody out. Whoever wins fire also has a "cherry on top" in terms of a final comp win to earn their spot into FTC, so as a Final Immunity winner, this becomes a dilemma of do I try to take out my biggest threat to win, at the risk of giving them a possible final flashy move? Essentially, the obvious situation is whether or not I send Amy and Anastasia to fire tonight. I owe my life in this game to Anastasia, who was my most loyal ally since I came back into the game. Amy flipped and played Colin's game and is the representative of that "side"'s game. She is definitely my biggest threat for votes. If she goes, she has to go, she can't win fire. Elle won't flip on Amy, Anastasia's not confident, so what do I do? 1) Vote out Anastasia 3-1, fight with Elle and Amy in the end. This option means there's no fire for either Amy or Anastasia to have on their resumes. This option means I must get 5 votes, as Anastasia sitting beside me meant she would've given me the final tiebreaker vote. Elle and Amy vote for each other, so I have to win straight out here. 2) Convince Amy to vote Elle and then me and Anastasia vote Amy in a 2-1-1. Same reason as Elle, Amy won't vote Elle out. She went to rocks for them even while holding an idol! 3) Give my immunity necklace to Anastasia, and ask her to send me to fire with Amy, and I take out Amy myself. This not only robs Amy of the final flashy move (if I win), but I would directly take control of who I want in the final 3. Pulling an Underwood is obviously risky, but for the Amy stans on the Jury, they literally cannot be upset at me if I take her out like this. I've flirted with this idea ever since making Final 4, but of course, there's a really small (but still existing) chance of me getting Erik Reichenbach'd here. I had to gauge how my chances are at the moment and how much they'd change with a successful fire challenge, but alas, in the words of Jay Bee themself, this would be "the most Jodi move" to cap off my game. I won't reveal what I'm doing tonight here, but I promise it's what's going to win me the game. Tune in to tribal council tonight to find out 😈

Im about to be voted off of this game. I did have the choice to go to rocks because Jodi said she would but I really am fine with getting 4th. Also I want to ask the ftc questions because I had no hope of winning over them. It's sad but true. I'm looking foward to talking to Colin and Jay and Jared!!

~~~

Power Rankings Update:

Jodi: Her winning immunity was crucial for her winning the entire game. She definitely played the Messiest game out of everyone on this cast, but that has more than earned her a spot at FTC. She is most likely to win out of this Final 4, and her vote will be the most crucial for tonight to determine if this will be fire or Anastasia’s vote-out.

Elle: She is the safest person without immunity tonight. From being targeted at 6 and 7 for having an idol they did not have to being assured FTC, Elle has had a journey from under the radar. They are not at threat of being eliminated from this game with whatever Jodi decides to do.

Amy: She is in a very precarious position now. While Elle will vote Anastasia, Jodi might not. This means that Amy might have to go to fire, but I think she got in good enough with Jodi at this point to be higher than Anastasia.

Anastasia: Most definitely receiving votes.

~~~

Wow hahahahahahahaha what a journey this has been. From saying I won’t be playing the game, to saying a have to hard quit by May 28, to winning 3 hunts and knowing where every advantage was, to playing while on vacation literally in Disney World for a week, to avoiding any sort of target from either side somehow, to being here in FTC. Is this how I imagined FTC to be comprised? NO hahaha I still think Jodi is going to run away with it and I have a lot of convincing to do in my speech to try to win over the jury. I had a moment that I was going to have to do fire in my car at f4 haha but I offered Anastasia fire and she didn’t want to do it. Also my original plan to force fire was to try to get Jodi out haha but that girl earned her spot in FTC. I just want to say it’s been an incredibly fun game to play and I’ve enjoyed playing this game with everyone and I hope that I can get to know everyone better when I’m not doing a million other things too. I think my goal in FTC (depending on time limits, Raffy please give me 10 minutes for a speech haha) is to reveal my hunt wins, strategy to keep targets elsewhere, the flip and undercover agent for 3 rounds, being gifted immunity twice, risking my entire game for my allies, not asking anyone to play advantages on me (actually the opposite- please DO NOT play them on me), not needing to win immunities to make it to the end, being in a position to be ale to give away advantages (which benefitted me by making the rest believe Elle somehow had the other idol to ensure the votes were on me instead thus assuring we both made f4 with my idol play), and never being voted out of the game. I want to show thatI played a messy game actually trying to be voted out early with the two alliances set up following my plan of having Dennis and brayden believe I was their ideas all while becoming closer with jodi so she wouldn’t ever go against me. I played deliberately making moves and owning vote outs, never playing only to keep my hands clean. I was on the right side of EVERY vote except Colin - my biggest mistake of the game since had he played his idol there chances are he’d be sitting here too. I want to thank Dennis and the survivor gods for bringing Colin and I together at the perfect time to flip the game completely. I want to show my game was imperfect and I never tried to control people’s every move. I was flexible and worked collectively even going against my trust issues. I put my life in others’ hands and at any point people could have easily turned against me. Frankly I’m not sure why they didn’t. I want to show that I respected everyone and was able to make all the moves I did while being in constant transit or being Epcot drunk. I want to explain that a messy and imperfect game with big moves, never being voted out, many mistakes, hunt wins, a lot of information flowing to me, and a lot of fun in possible and deserving of the title of sole survivor. I kept my cards close as I usually do in games, but I played more risky than ever. Even being in a minority alliance I was never receiving votes nor was my name even being mentioned until it was too late. I’m really proud of the game I played, but I recognize much of the jury might be really bitter toward me and view Elle’s underdog story or Jodi’s power and comeback as more deserving. Either way I think it’s a great F3 and I look forward to a fun FTC. I won’t be stressing as much (hopefully) as my previous FTC. Thank you to everyone who made this game what it was. It might be my favorite game I’ve played even though I still refuse to learn anything about Persona. I look forward to many game nights (if I don’t hard quit skype again lol).

(Imagine "My Way" by Frank Sinatra (or even play it 👀) while you read this ty I'm creating an audio visual experiential mindscape, now imagine that I'm sitting at the edge of a stage clearly after a show but all the patrons are gone, one knee is up and I'm leaning on it casually while looking around at the auditorium, my eyes pausing and flashing with emotions as I pause at the seats where old friends or family may have been sitting.) Well, we made it 🙂 Typical that the game I put the relative least amount of effort into is the one I go to FTC, but that tracks, I suppose. I honestly don't know if I'll win. But I kind of like that, you know? ^_^ I love the mysteryyyyy✨. I hope no one's mad at me at FTC, either for just being there or something I did :/ I mean it's bound to happen but I hate both just people suffering in my vicinity and confrontation. Plus, idk how I'll take it 😂 not like, crying or anything I don't cry in front of people EVER like I'd have to be... idk literally stabbed or something, I'm more worried I won't be able to respond in the "survivor"-y way, and instead I'll go into comfort/validation mode and solutions based conflict management 😅😅. I hope people like my Rites of Passage jokes, I tried to tailor them to every person at least a little. I also people like Ingary, which I'll have 5 dedicated days to plan and prep the rest of it with Dylan 😂 jeez. Me making FTC in the game I thought I'd last like, pre-merge is So Typicallll 🤣 Stay breezy and easy cheesy, Elle ^_^ 💖

https://youtu.be/Dy4zhccMhRw

~~~

FTC Power Ranking:

Amy: Amy had the strongest Final Tribal Council out of the three. She exposed a lot of her game to people turning Amy supporters to Amy simps and people who were on the fence about her into people who recognize how well she played. The secrets she kept were very important to reveal as it changed how the game was viewed. She did an excellent job at unveiling all of the shadows in this game, and I think she impressed the jury the most.

Jodi: Jodi did not have a lot to reveal like Amy. Most of Jodi’s game has already been talked about and/or known about as she played very openly and vocally. This made her Final Tribal Council turn into defending her own play style for most of the time she was given. She certainly did demonstrate a lot of passion which is good to sway some people off of Amy with an emotional plea. I think her biggest issue was that she did not adequately acknowledge the flaws in her game that people had and refute those flaws.

Elle: Elle had a very chill vibe at Final Tribal Council. They mostly answered all of the questions in the same way with the same answers. This definitely hurt them as it felt like Elle didn’t explain how they got to the end of their own merit. Instead, they made it seem like her allies carried her to the end rather than anything they did explicitly. They were a Hero to the very end by simply being themselves and hoping that it would net them votes. However, they were definitely the weakest at Final Tribal Council out of the three present.

~~~

Edgic:

Season Edgic and Overall Edgics:

Power Rankings:

[survivesalem]

Episode 5 - “things got extremely messy.” -Raffy

After voting out Keegan, things got extremely messy. Lukas basically threw an entire tantrum in the tribe chat (which he claims wasn't one, but we all know it is one) that rubbed me completely the wrong way. He somehow found out that I was a person who threw the challenge last round. Apparently, someone in my alliance is a little rat. It wasn't Brien. And it wasn't Jessie. Because he's mad at Brien as well (didn't know Brien was flipping at all) and Jessie didn't know that we were throwing. That leaves Jay and Mac. Lukas apparently has quotes from the conversation that occurred. It can't be Jay because I never mentioned throwing in our PMs, so it has to be Mac who was probably trying to cover his own spot. That's why he keeps sending voice messages instead of text. He's definitely too strategic and wily. He's trying to cover himself on all bases when he doesn't need to. If he wasn't on my target list before, I know he is now. I don't know why he did it, but I am going to snake him out. Someone did tell Lukas. I feel like I can trust that. But all of this nonsense Lukas pulled has just sealed his fate. Also, on an alliance call, Mac was a little too quick to be like "I'll put a throw away vote on one of you to throw people on the other tribe off." And he wants to throw the challenge again? This dude needs to learn that not everything can be based on strategy. He's the traitor and I need to watch what I say to him from now on. We really need to win this challenge though. Because I am now in a super uncomfortable position with all that has happened.

So. My plan worked 100%. Mastermind shit. Things popped off afterwards. Lukas was a lil messy and quite annoying about being left out, even though they said A) Lukas said he knew Keegan was getting votes and B) Lukas and Keegan are good mates. Now, here’s my issue. Raffy doesn’t wanna throw this next challenge. I mean fair enough BUT...I’m pretty sure Raffy and Lukas are working together, and Raffy would want to flip at merge, probably take Jessie too. That’s super worrying. I’m happy the 5-2 vote worked perfectly. I just need some damn Olive Oil for this idol!

To be completely honest this is the most comfortable I felt all game and I know in survivor you’re not supposed to feel comfortable bc that’s when you’re blindsided but I would bet my bottom dollar that the vote is coming down to Keegan and Mac unless something changes hours before tribal.  the 4some of me raffy jay and Mac is strong at least for the time being Lukas and Keegan suspect something which means one of 2 things. 1 someone told them something or 2 everyone is being quiet with them and they are getting suspicious. I hope this is the right vote for me to allow me to make merge and not be the next boot but I know one thing is Lukas is gonna be mad coming back to camp without Keegan I came into this tribe I observed the dynamics and saw it was 3-3-1 but I took the swing vote power away from Jessie and flipped myself to hopefully give me more agency later in the game and more allies amongst all the original tribes. I feel bad voting Keegan but it’s the name of the game and he seems like a real nice guy otherwise

So tribal went well for me I stayed . I really thought Keegan was gonna pull some sort of advantage out but that never happened . So then we are all chilling on call a few minutes after tribal and Lukas joins the call and accuses us of throwing the last challenge . Everyone seemed kinda shocked so I was like yeah no we didn’t throw the challenge . So after that he spammed the chat for a good twenty minutes . I think he was drunk or high idk . Anyways according to him I have a blue aura and I am a Twizzler /jolly rancher when it comes to candy . So that was an eventful night oh yeah I also told the tribe to please give me the easy puzzle because I’m not good at puzzles . So today comes around and everyone’s quiet until Brien comes to me asking how I’d feel about a trio and of course I’m gonna accept like the fuck? Why wouldn’t I accept a group of some sorts I’ve been trying to get in one all game . So me, Brien and Mac the oak tree man are now a trio which is cool because I vibe with them. I’m also vibing with this lovely puzzle its spooky spooky . I am also loving these random items I pick up that don’t help me get advantages I’m really hoping there’s some merge spells that include this items . I mean I’m looking ahead to merge when I may not make it that far but I’m gonna hope I do . I really need to stop with these long confessionals but these are my thoughts so you know gotta get them out there ! Anyways witch out 🔮

Brien came up to me thinking about how Lukas knew about the throwing. He thinks Mac was the one to do it as well. I am glad we are both on the same page because I now can express my plans for if we go to tribal. I want everyone to put a vote on Lukas, then I want one of either Brien or I to put a vote on Mac. That way it will turn into a 5-1-1 vote. If Lukas plays an idol, then it will tie between whoever he voted for and Mac. And if he voted for Mac then it's even better. I told all of this to Brien who was concerned about how we would do if Mac did not go home. I told him that we can blame the stray vote on Jessie. At the very least, Brien and I do not trust Mac anymore. Thank god someone sees his treachery besides me. Brien was also concerned about Jay's relationship with Lukas. I feel the same way, but I think that Jay will stick with us in the long term because Jay is smart. I have no plans at the moment to turn on him like I do with Mac. However, I am going to keep my Lukas dislike at a minimum so that I do not rub Jay the wrong way. Who knew that I would end up being a duo with Brien lol. I've talked to Jessie more than I've had in the past few rounds which is good. She seems to be oblivious and not believe Lukas in the throwing. But, she might make for a great ally and snoop if we go to tribal. Because of the mess that tribal might become, I am really hoping that we can pull out this win. I've gotten the best that I possibly can get, and I put the people who would most likely throw on the same section so as not to fuck us up (Lukas and Mac). Crossing my fingers that all this planning is for naught and I can relax tomorrow for my mini.

JUST A QUICK BACKTRACK I REALLY DID EXPOSE AUSTIN AND GET HIM VOTED OUT I'M SHOOK ANYWAY. I think being shy is a bit part of my nature at first so I think I've come off as a lil blunt or not caring or something, I think that's also why I don't really have a solid alliance. I miss my boi Mac! I love Mac I truly do and not in a romantic way or anything but he's literally a brother and a friend for life. I wanna meet up with him and possibly meet people who are more willing to work with me. I miss Jessie too! I actually really liked her so I would love to work with her again. Gizmo right now is someone who I think I wanna work with the most I can see us 2, Alex & either Paolo or Christian forming something and taking out someone like Dylan who is super intelligent. I love Dylan I think they're a great person but Dylan is like a walking Wikipedia and Zach has also shown his strategically strong in the game. I've been using the "I'm new to ORG's this is my first what do I do" thing a lot but I think that's made my social game a lil shit so I need to befriend these people more. Wish me luck hoes adios

My tribe won. I personally would rather lose but it’s fine. I just need Alex and Liam safe. I need my kings at merge with me 🥺🥺🥺🥺. Meanwhile I don’t trust Raffy as much as I did. Jessie, Brien and I made a trio chat.

FUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKK I MISS THE CABIN i didn't have to do anything.....i got food...........i didn't have to vote people out.......this sucks

So uh....we lost. my initial thought for a vote is Liam because he threw Dylan and I under the bus for leaving gizmo out of the last vote because we thought he would tell Austin. that’s not true at all. Tbh I forgot to tell gizmo lmao. I truly felt bad about it, but I’m not happy with Liam throwing us under the bus like that.

Well I have a 50/50 shot at being the one going home. Hopefully I did enough to cast the vote off me and onto Alex, but who knows. At this point I've really done all I can to get me out of this situation. Sadly, if I do get voted out my boyfriend will have to break up with me because who wants to date someone who gets pre-Jurried

So we lost which....i wish we could’ve seen individual scores so we have an idea of how everyone did? idk though. it sounds like the vote is Alex though. I truly am just following what other people are doing and trying to play low key this premerge

[survivor-junglerun]

FTC Q&A

So for all my questions please answer them by video I am sick and i don't have the energy to read everything, so billy: I want to ask why you abstained from the final immunity challenge? Chips: throwing your vote not to jake is meh to me but tell me a move you felt you orchestrated in more detail Julia: I love you i am glad you are in the f3 queen, please hex my cold on video i want to see that. That is all good luck final 3

Answers:

Billy:  I abstained because I had to do work, that requires me to be on my computer all day. I was more than willing to do the endurance, but I was not available to do the puzzle. It had nothing to do with the challenge itself, but no one discussed times for an endurance, and we were just given the puzzle and I simply did not have time.

Chips: 

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Julia:

Julia - What did you change in your game after winning your way back in, that allowed you to be in the majority from the beginning of the merge? Also, why do you deserve to win over two people who were never voted out?

Chips - What was the most difficult moment in the game for you, and how did you bounce back from it?

Billy - Why do you deserve to win against two people who put in (from my perspective) EXPONENTIALLY more time into the game?

Answers:

Billy: I said in my plea speech that I didn’t do as much as the other two, but I stopped caring half way through because why would I give something my all when I saw the outcome. I wasn’t going to win the challenges. The majority was never going to work with me. I was walking towards being voted out because once people are set, they’re set. I tried to get people to vote out Julia, several times, no one wanted to. So I stopped trying. Everyone was so quick to want to stick together, that I wasn’t going to go out of my way, when I knew it would be just this if I made it to the end anyway. More people like other people, that’s how it is. So why try when I wouldnt have beaten the majority in any situation? Tell me you wouldn’t have done it this way as well, and I’m not sure if I’d believe you. So, I don’t think I deserve to win. But I think for all of the people who did the work, and weren’t rewarded, and didn’t get second chances, and gave this game their all, I want to win for them, for the people who actually wanted to play the game with me and make it fun, instead of be picked off one by one. A lot of the jury played great games, and they’re not in FTC, and I wouldn’t be in FTC without them.

Chips: The most difficult moment in the game for me was the blind round. I think that the combination of not knowing who had won immunity paired with the fact that it would not be revealed who had actually stuck to what they had said created a challenge. I had previously been in a final two alliance with Chrissa called Chris² and heard early on in the round that Chrissa was the target for the round. She had heard the same herself and was trying to deflect the vote to Brandan and I knew that would be a hard sell since he had already formed a group against her and it wasn't entirely obvious who it would be safe to target instead. I bounced back from the round and losing my final two by picking up the pieces that remained and trying to make sure that even though I knew that people had taken a "shot" at who I trusted that they felt they could trust me enough to keep me late in the game. I kept up a positive social relationship with them so that we could potentially work together as the game progressed.

Julia:

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Questions: What was the most villainous thing you’ve done in this game?

Answers:

Billy:

Carson: the most villainous thing I did all season was sit there and tell Julia I was keeping her and voted her out, then voted for her again and was like “nah girl I got you” when the tie happened. It’s not much, but you don’t have to always be a villain to make it far. Some people rely on that, I didn’t have to (or really have to do anything)

Chips:

Julia:

Carson: The most villianous thing I did in the game was flipping sides to keep Billy in the game and voted out one of my allies (Brandan). I felt like this needed to be done #1 because people were already againts him, #2 he had already gotten a few people out himself and did so succesfully and #3 I didn't really know how well he stood with me in the game. So I promised him a vote, and didn't give it to him and he left unanimously. (SO SORRY I HAD TO DO THT)

Questions:

Chips: hello

Billy: I’m so thankful for this game because as much as we didn’t care too much we actually worked together and that’s cute because I really have grown to consider you a friend in these things. Had we gotten Chips out when I went home, what would your plan have been for the end game?

Julia: ugh queen. Why should Billy get my vote over you?

Answers:

Billy: my plan was to go to F3 with you and Drew, as I saw both of you deserving the win. We worked together from day one in this game, and I wanted you to take it to the end. I knew I was just a number for you, and I was ok with that, because I wouldn’t have flipped on you. It didn’t make sense to. Had Brandan not flipped sides, and you went home, I would have stuck with you and Drew to make it to final three.

Chips: Hi

Julia: hi dan! ummm i dont think he should bc he didn't do anything and like wouldnt submit challenges ect.. lol

Questions: Did not submit

Answers:

Billy:

Chips:

Julia:

Unfortunately due to unforeseen circumstances, i had to drop out early into the merge so i feel as though i don't truly know who has done what in this game. so, what would each of you say was your strongest asset, and strongest game move? (i had no interactions with billy, and i had more conversation with julia than i did chips despite only playing two rounds with her before i had to depart).

Answers:

Billy:

Gavin: my strongest asset was finding the people in the game who actually wanted me in the game and sticking to them. I wish we had gotten to talk, because it sucks you had to go. But I don’t think we crossed paths before then. But I would have liked to. I’m not going to pretend like my game is the strongest, because it isn’t. But I played my game, and that’s all it was. I hope everything outside the game is better though, real life comes first, and I think a lot of people in this community forget that.

Chips:

Gavin I think that my strongest asset in this game definitely was my ability to take and use information effectively. I found out who was getting votes and why and if I did not like that outcome I used that information to redirect the vote. This asset extended into knowledge of the powers that were distributed in the game as well in that I had formed a relationship with Madison that enabled me to know about her initial power and the one that you had gifted her when you left. -- My strongest visible game move was teaming up with Madison to disrupt the flow of the round where she played her Ruby Monkey idol. It was the most "visible" move I made during the game because it took the two people being targeted and flipped the vote onto someone unexpected (Noah). I think it was the strongest because it was a choice made by me to effect a vote and its outcome and following the move the rest of the votes fell as I wanted without me having to struggle with the "let's stick to this" mindset that had been previously in place. -- My strongest "non-visible" move was maintaining a strong relationship with Brandan and Julia the round that Dan was planning to vote me out by convincing Julia to throw her vote. They caught wind of the true plan and came to me with it telling me that they would NEVER vote me out, switching their votes to Dan in the process.

Julia:

Gavin: My strongest asset in the game was that I was able to talk to people from both sides at one point and I could be able to have SEVERAL options that I wanted to follow thru with. My biggest game move was probably finding out that Dan had lied to me about a vote that we were promised to go thru with. If I didn't have the connection I had with Brandan at the time, than I wouldn't have realized what was about to happen. So after compaing notes, I had succesfully voted out someone who had tried to do me dirty AGAIN the second time in a row. And from that point on, making it to the end was 1000x easier!

Questions: did not submit

Answers:

Billy:

Chips:

Julia:

Julia: why do you feel like you deserve to win when you literally wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me and my idol plays? and you can’t claim “our relationship” or anything as the reason I kept you safe, it was literally just bc you’re a woman. what have you actually done? bc I don’t see much.

Chips: I’m voting for you dw bb you played an incredible game and no matter what happens you deserve it.

Billy. goat noises

Answers:

Julia: I mean I thought we had like a friendship bc I would have never voted you and never did vote you. Always stuck by your side ect. But weather you see it that way or not you keeping me safe guarenteed I would see another round regardless. Sooooo idk whatever LOL hexed

And as to what I did I was in the loop for alot of things. Such as when Dan got voted out tht wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for me going back to Brandan figuring out Dan lied again. Or the time tht I was able to stay in the majority, or maybe being hated by everyone sm yet still remaining in the f3? Idk take it as you please.

Chips:

Madison Omg! I love you so much.

Billy: In a goat accent Now I’m glaaaad I had it tieeeee and you lost as a resullltttt. I already acknowledged my being a goat in the game. Did you even read my opening? Probably not. 

[fairytalesandtimetravel]

Ohhh, yeah I can see where finding illustration jobs would be tough. Damn the world, valuing arts as part of history but not in the present to keep the artists alive! Well, I still wish you luck, I do love your fanart. How are things otherwise? And what would a top 3 list of fic prompts be? I really can write anything so don't be shy ;) -cssv

Yep it sucks. But once I manage to get a job it will be great! lol Thank’s so much that means a lot to hear!

I’m pretty good, I think I’m finally getting over being sick, but I hope I didn’t jinx myself. ooh prompts… lets see (I had to think about this all day lol)

1- Okay the first one that comes to mind kinda a lot to explain. I have wanted to see Killian deal with having died. Like, what I have in mind is, I don’t know if you’ve seen Jane the Virgin, but I was watching it and her husband gets shot, almost died. But he’s okay and Jane is the one so shaken up by it and he comforts her (much how I feel like we saw Emma react more to Killian dying than him actually dealing with it). But anyways lol So Jane is trying a new parenting technique with her son who is going through a biting phase, and he bit the husband. Jane comforts husband about it (as to not give her kid attention) and he got really upset and it finally hit him that he could have died. (I’m so terrible at explaining this) but it was such a great scene and I loved seeing that vulnerability and him realising how far he made it and how close he was to losing it all. 

So I’d love so see something where Killian is caught off guard and Emma is just there for him, helping him work through it. 

2-   Canon divergent, I do love canon divergent. Maybe canon divergence where the two of them work together to get back the Jolly Roger? I just watched Ella Enchanted and now I’d kinda like to see Emma under an obedience curse or Killian as canon divergence? idk

3- omg I was looking through prompts, this is terrible but I’m also terrible XD 

Person A is a private detective. While investigating, an unfortunate accident occurs, and A is presumed dead (obituaries, funeral, the whole nine yards). Person B, their assistant, is naturally grief-stricken… only for A to walk through the door to reassure B that they’re alive and well, and tell them how they finally cracked the case.Bonus: A attended their own funeral in disguise, and saw B, crying and mourning. A has to force themselves not to blow their cover until after the mystery is solved.

4- (I’m giving you one more so you have more options.) Emma, Mary Margaret, and David take a trip to Ireland. They go to Blarney Castle and are the last on line to kiss the blarney stone. Killian is the guy holding them, Emma is last to go and reluctant to actually kiss it bc gross, how many other people have kissed it, so she pretends to kiss it. Killian sees that she pretended to kiss it and says try again and makes fun of her (fun fact, this part may or may not have happened to me and the guy holding me was very very hot XD) And so she has to do it again and hang there even longer and is embarrassed. Then maybe that night in Cork they see him playing in a band in a pub. :)

I’m sorry I’m so terrible with prompts lol

[fuckit-shithappens]

1-99

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? nobody else but you, betrayed, man down, bodak yellow, skateboard p, & she belong to the game2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? salice rose3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. there’s no books 4: What do you think about most? yikes, why i am the way i am lol5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? i am lol6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? with7: What’s your strangest talent? i don’t have one haha8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) girls y’all suck but i mean y’all cute & i love y’all. boys y’all annoying asf9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? yeahhh10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? idek lol11: Do you have any strange phobias? i don’t like cords lol 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? yeahh a marble 13: What’s your religion? 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? enjoying the air lol 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? if i ain’t feeling myself then behind but if i am i’m in front😂16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? idk17: What was the last lie you told? that i wasn’t sad lol 18: Do you believe in karma? yupp19: What does your URL mean? it’s my fav quote 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? idek21: Who is your celebrity crush? nicki manaj22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? yes😂23: How do you vent your anger? i hit things or keep it inside 24: Do you have a collection of anything? shot glasses25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? neither 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? not really lol i could be better27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? i hate the sound of owls whooin & love the sound powwow music28: What’s your biggest “what if”? what if i dont glow up29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes & yes 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. my pillow & nothing 31: Smell the air. What do you smell? my scensy32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? idek33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? east coast 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? chris brown35: To you, what is the meaning of life? 🤷🏽‍♀️36: Define Art. 37: Do you believe in luck? ehh38: What’s the weather like right now? colddd��39: What time is it? 12:0440: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? uhmm i hit a deer lol41: What was the last book you read? 🤔42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? nahh43: Do you have any nicknames? kyle, babes, & buttcheeks44: What was the last film you saw? IT45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? i haven’t had one46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? yes47: Do you have any obsessions right now? nah 48: What’s your sexual orientation? gay asfff👅49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? yeahh lol50: Do you believe in magic? nah51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? hell yeah52: What is your astrological sign? ariesss👸🏽53: Do you save money or spend it? spend it54: What’s the last thing you purchased? a shirt 55: Love or lust? love56: In a relationship? nope57: How many relationships have you had? 358: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? no lol59: Where were you yesterday? in norman & the city60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? yeah61: Are you wearing socks right now? yes62: What’s your favourite animal? horse63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? having a bomb ass personality 64: Where is your best friend? looking for one tbh65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. idk66: What is your heritage? native american67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? on the phone w my friend & her friend68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? idk69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? yeah😂70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? all the way71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? save the dog tf72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? i’d tell only a few, i would smoke weed, go to cancun & meet salice, & no i wouldn’t be afraid 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. trust74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? man down 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 432676: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? being best friends, trusting each other, giving each other space, communication, & loyalty 77: How can I win your heart? making me laugh78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? prolly79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? going to night school & finishing senior year hella early🎓80: What size shoes do you wear? 981: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? homegirl was lit asf82: What is your favourite word? fuckk83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. guarded 84: What is a saying you say a lot? mind y business 85: What’s the last song you listened to? 2 on 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? black & turquoise 87: What is your current desktop picture? i don’t have a laptop88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? damnnn...89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? idk?90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? bitch, id start swinging on them bc i ain’t the one91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? mind reading 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? when i was at the beach 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? a good chunk of my past94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? kehlani🤤95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? i’d have to think96: Do you have any relatives in jail? lol yeah97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? nope98: Ever been on a plane? yes99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? yo i hate this world