#I’d redraw that comic if I thought I could give it any justice at all

[mycological-mariner]

blood corn king?

Blood corn king.

For context, this all took place when I was 17. Our big project in first year botany class was to do a vegetable garden. Each group got assigned a veg. Mine got corn. As a part of this project, we also had to make the soil and fertiliser that would be most beneficial for our respective veg (this process included standing around a barrel and pouring and mixing cow manure for 3 hours in the sun everyday but besides the point). And I was very protective and such of my little harvest patch. And I don’t really know how it began. I know I was the one who brought it up — I think I’d cut myself and said something about the blood getting into the soil and feeding our corn.

From there, it spiralled a little. I started joking that I would feed my corn patch human blood and create an army of bloodthirsty corn that would take over the world and I would be their leader and king, and then seriously ruminating about the affect blood would have on a harvest. I was really into it, absolutely fascinated by it (which is actually what kickstarted my mild obsession with mycology but that a different matter). So this one guy who drew comics sketched this out. It was iconic. The first panel is me cutting my palm and feeding the soil the blood, then it’s the stages of growth. The final panel was amazing. The corn had teeth and were chomping on human remains while the world was on fire and I was stood above them all declaring “I AM THE BLOOD CORN KING” — I kept that little comic for ages, I’d post it if I could find it. In the end, the corn was perfectly normal and edible. Bit of an upset, but it was delicious.

(To be fair this was the same botany class where, for extra credits, we could come in dressed as a plant of our choice so long as we brought in 5 facts about it (as long as it wasn’t a rose - the prof hated roses) and I came in wearing a Victorian undertakers suit and hat with ghostly white and black face paint - my flower was a white lily, popular funerary flower. I really went off on the most dramatic delivery of plant facts. I got 10 points.)