#I’m currently sick and all my brain is good for right now is making crummy gifs

[agentbluefox]

No respect for good conmen these days.

S04:E03

Bonus:

The realization of “that probably sounded better in my head"

[daresplaining]

Daredevil Countdown: 3 Days

D.A. Foggy Nelson

    As depressing as Matt and Foggy’s break-up was in Season 2, it has set up some really neat stories for Foggy. In the comics, as in the MCU, it is important for him to step out of Matt’s shadow, because this allows him the freedom to build his career and self-confidence. One plot point I’ve been dying for since last season-- which, it seems, is actually happening-- is Foggy running for District Attorney! This is a really interesting plotline as far as Foggy’s character arc is concerned, and as a bonus, it’s a reference to a period of Daredevil comics that doesn’t generally get much attention. 

    Matt and Foggy have been friends for a long time, and as with most long-term relationships, their dynamic has evolved over the years. When discussing their law partnership, 616 Foggy once referred to Matt as the inspiration and himself as the perspiration. And this seems like a pretty accurate assessment. While Matt is a naturally brilliant lawyer, a charismatic speaker, and is also neglectful of his day job thanks to his superheroing, Foggy works hard to build up his reputation. He’s not a great public speaker. He lacks Matt’s flair. But he is devoted to his career and is, in a quieter way, a brilliant lawyer in his own right. 

    But when he is first introduced in the comics, he exists very much in Matt’s shadow. When discussing the newly-formed Nelson & Murdock in the very first issue, he attributes the firm’s future success to Matt brains and his (Foggy’s) father’s money. And in the early issues, this fits with his narrative role. He is there to hold down the fort, to run the firm and be the boring, less talented partner against whom Matt’s awesomeness can be compared. The possibility of his becoming the D.A. is teased very early-on, in issue #10-11... but it turns out to be a supervillain’s ruse and nothing more. 

Foggy: “Well, that makes me the prize chump of the year! He sure had me fooled!”

Matt: “Chump nothing! You were the first to suspect that the picture of the Organizer on TV was a phony... taken in advance to throw suspicion on Monroe! You’ve proven you do have what it takes to make a fighting D.A., mister!”    

Daredevil vol. 1 #11 by Stan Lee, Bobby Powell, Wally Wood, and Sam Rosen

    As gullible as this makes Foggy look, it introduces an important character element for him at this early point: his aspirations. Poor Foggy may be treated as a loser by the narrative, he may not have Matt’s talents and main character advantages, but he still has big dreams. It’s thus satisfying that forty issues later, he runs again for real... and wins!

Foggy: “Me and Daniel Webster! --What a laugh! It’s Matt who should have this job-- not me! He was the real brains of ‘Nelson and Murdock’! I was just-- the work horse! But, they say a man can sometimes grow into a job-- maybe this will be my chance to prove myself! My chance to finally get out-- from under the shadow of Matt Murdock!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #50 by Stan Lee, Gene Colan, and George Klein

    At this point he is conflicted-- both excited by this boost to his career and nervous about stepping out of his comfort zone. He and Matt had a huge fight during the campaign and so they are no longer speaking at this point... but they get over it, and Foggy decides to fix his nerves by bringing Matt on board has his special assistant. 

Reporter: “Howzabout a shot of you two together, Mr. Nelson? It’ll go great with our story of your declared war on Crime-Wave!”

Foggy: “Even better than you think, friend! ‘Cause I’ve got a surprise announcement to make...! Namely, I’ve just invited Matthew Murdock to become my special assistant... for the duration of the current investigation!”

Matt: “It’s true all right, newshound! I’ve joined the team!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #58 by Roy Thomas and Gene Colan

    (How great is this page? Love that Gene Colan art.)

    But even this, with Matt working as Foggy’s subordinate rather than partner, is a huge shift in the balance of their dynamic. For once, Foggy gets to take the lead, with Matt dropping by the office when he has time to consult on cases. As District Attorney, Foggy is directly interacting with politicians and the press, and he is the first person people come to for help. And then Matt runs off to San Francisco with Natasha Romanov and leaves Foggy all on his own. 

    Since this is Matt’s comic, this separation means that we don’t see much of Foggy during this period. But when he does appear, he is notably changed. He is extra serious, extra busy. His wardrobe gets snazzier. 

Daredevil vol. 1 #114 by Steve Gerber, Bob Brown, and Stan Goldberg

    And he becomes more deeply embedded in The Establishment. He is forced to handle tough ethics cases: corruption, student protests, and the ever-present NYC topic of superheroes, about whom he has always had mixed feelings. (This is 200+ issues before he finds out about his best friend’s double life.)

Matt: “Great! Competence lives in Fun City! Sorry about the mess, friend, but I’m sure our crackerjack sanitation department can make it all tidy again-- or at least as tidy as the rest of New York. Which isn’t saying much.”

Foggy: “Not so quick with the flippancy, Hornhead. I think it’s time the police questioned you about a few matters. I’m getting a bit sick and tired of you long underwear types swinging up and down Fifth Avenue like you owned it.”

Matt: “I never thought I’d say this, ‘Mr.’ Nelson, but methinks you’re more interested in your re-election than you are in justice. But I think it’s a little bit too late to begin a crusading D.A. image now.”

Daredevil vol. 1 #127 by Marv Wolfman, Bob Brown, and Petra Goldberg

    And Foggy matures, becoming a more jaded and world-weary version of himself. After getting shot while on the job, he starts rethinking his career. This is a neat mental shift when placed next to Matt’s own superhero philosophy. Foggy has now had a taste of doing what Matt does as Daredevil-- protecting the city-- and it is wearing him down. If only he and Matt could actually speak candidly about this shared experience...

Matt: “You sound a little bitter, Foggy. Are you still upset about the shooting?”

Foggy: “Frankly, Matt... I am. You spend a chunk of your life trying to help this city-- trying to make it safer, a decent place for people to live-- you put up with the crackpots, the bad cops, the crooks-- and then WHAM you get the city’s thanks-- a crummy bullet from a third-hand Saturday Night Special. So sure-- I’m bitter, Matt, this has been building up in me since it happened. I’m bitter as hell.”

Matt: “You’re forgetting good things, Foggy, the good cops... the good people... Don’t do yourself and them an injustice. Have a little faith.”

Daredevil vol. 1 #118 by Gerry Conway, Don Heck, and Petra Goldberg

    When his re-election campaign rolls around, Foggy fights hard. His opponent is the charming, charismatic Blake Tower, who Foggy ends up liking and respecting in spite of himself. In the end, and thanks to some supervillain intervention by expert media manipulator the Jester...

TV Foggy: “Fellow citizens, as much as this pains me to say, I am forced to admit that I consider myself unworthy of being re-elected. Please bear with me as I give my explanations.”

Foggy: “What? It’s a lie! I never said that!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #130 by Marv Wolfman, Bob Brown, and Michele Wolfman

    ...Foggy loses. Tower, a genuinely good guy and superhero supporter, goes on to have a long and successful career as the new D.A. And Foggy, as hard as he fought for re-election, discovers that he is glad to have escaped from such a stressful job. Matt invites him to join his new private practice, and he gratefully accepts. 

Foggy: Once the vote became apparent, I just couldn’t stick around any longer. I had to get away--to be by myself to think. But I’ve come to some conclusions, Matt. The first is that I’m happy I lost, and the second-- Matt, I’ve never begged before, but Matt-- I need a job now... do you need a rather tubby loser hanging around here?”

Matt: “Do you still have that business card I gave you, Foggy?”

Foggy: “Sure, I was too busy to look at it. Why?”

Matt: Just read it. Whether you won the election or not, Foggy, you always were, and you’ll always be-- my partner. Welcome back, buddy. It’s been awhile.”

Daredevil vol. 1 #130 by Marv Wolfman, Bob Brown, and Michele Wolfman

    Many writers since have written Foggy back into Matt’s shadow-- and that’s tough to avoid, since Matt is the main character. But this story arc first introduced the idea of Foggy as a force in his own right, someone who can succeed without Matt around, which is an attitude that has largely stuck around to this day. It presented a welcome and permanent shift in the way writers, and thus Daredevil readers, viewed his character and role in the comic. 

    While MCU Matt doubled down on his DD activities in Season 2, prioritizing that side of his life over his legal work, Foggy plunged headfirst into his career-- mostly because he had no other choice. With Matt neglecting the firm, Foggy picked up the slack. He spent the entirely of Season 1 putting himself down, emphasizing Matt’s skills over his own, and showing an intense lack of self-confidence regarding his abilities as a lawyer. But Season 2 showed him, in ways that he could not ignore, that he was actually damn good at him job. He realized that he could still achieve his law school (or possibly undergrad...) dream of having a high-powered legal career... even without Matt by his side. And so when the chance to make that dream happen was presented, he leapt at it. 

    It has been an absolute treat to see Foggy hop around to the other shows, further developing his career, getting used to hanging out with superheroes, and generally demonstrating a level of confidence in himself that is new and wonderful. His life isn’t perfect-- there’s no question that he would rather be doing this with Matt-- but it’s still a big deal for his character development. From here, there are several ways his D.A. aspirations could go. It could be a great thing-- further boosting his career, giving him a new set of challenges, and showing us a side of Foggy we’ve never seen before: a Foggy in a position of power, trying to cope. Or it could end terribly. He could lose. He could win, but end up butting heads with Wilson Fisk. Since Fisk named Foggy in Season 2 as someone he was aiming to take down, that confrontation is going to happen no matter what-- but if Foggy were the D.A., this takedown might involve bribery and blackmail as part of Fisk’s bid for power. I’m really excited to see how this plotline is handled, and feel confident that-- just like in the comics-- this separation will be a good thing for him, and will end with the recreation of a new, better, stronger Nelson and Murdock. 

[simplymorganunedited-blog]

A Not So Positive Post

These things happen folks. 

Here’s where I’m at, at 8:13 am. 

Sleep Talk:

I really wish I could sleep. I’m extremely physically exhausted, not to mention emotionally drained. I’ve never been able to nap. I couldn't nap when I was three, let alone twenty-two. Therefore, I’m kind of counting on my body to recharge during the night, and lately it hasn't been doing that. I think this is partly due to my sleeping pill abuse these past few months. I would throw up until about midnight, 1 am, and by that point my body was so high on adrenaline, and so hungry, that it wasn't willing to let me sleep. Melatonin solves that problem folks. Except then you end up taking more and more and more and more as your body becomes accustomed to the effects of the drug. So currently, I’d say that my body is trying to come down from a dependency on 5-6 sleeping pills a night to help me sleep. 

Where is the positive? 

Positive Thought #1: There is nothing better than a bubble bath at 7:30 am. Similarly, it is such a refreshing change to wake up naturally, rather than be hauled out of a drug-induced slumber by my alarm. 

Sick Talk: 

I think I’m getting sick. 

Part of me finds that hilarious, given that I just made a post about my white blood count and my immune system. (Go figure right?) I also think the intense emotional stress has something to do this, not to mention the symptoms of refeeding syndrome I was experiencing two weeks ago. Sorry body. (Again.) And while I have lots of time on my hands to take care of myself and fight off a cold, this fills me with a lot of apprehension. 

My appetite deserts me when I’m sick. 

It always has. I remember my mom having to bribe me with my favourite things (ramen, popsicles, etc.) when I would get sick, just to get me to eat. So now what? Mentally, I don't want to eat to begin with. Physically, my hunger cues are f*cked. So, feeling crummy on top of that, and having to go against my body’s natural instinct when it’s sick, is not really going so hot for me. Like not at all. 

Where’s the positive? 

Positive Thought #2: There are overnight oats waiting for me in a gold mason jar downstairs. (Yes I am that bougie. I did actually buy a gold mason jar.) 

Weight Talk: 

Here’s the hard one. 

The really hard one. 

I feel like I’ve gained weight. 

I don't know if I have. (I’m not exactly allowed to step on a scale right now, and honestly I wouldn't want to.) But I feel like it. 

Here’s the hard thing about it. I don't know if that’s just Morgan’s Brain, panicking cause Morgan is trying to take back control, or if it’s Morgan, panicking because everything is changing, too fast, too rapidly, rolling downhill at an alarming rate. 

But Morgs, don't you want to get healthy? 

Good question. 

I know it doesn't make any sense. When you see someone embrace recovery, you assume they want to get better right?

Sort of.

In my head it is a sacrifice. In my head it is a sacrifice, of perfection, of my perfect ideal; the body that I have literally almost killed myself to obtain.  But on the other hand, I know I’m killing myself. I know that I can’t go on the way I have been. I don't want to die. 

Real Talk: I want to be skinny, but not enough to kill myself. 

Realest Talk: I couldn't do that to my Dad. 

Anyway, I have so much anxiety about eating, about weight gain, about not being able to exercise. I hate looking in the mirror. In my mind, (again, I don't know if it’s Morgan or Morgan’ Brain seeing this) I’ve put on a lot of weight. Like enough to make me unhappy. Enough to make the self-hatred so much worse. Enough to make me question my decision, wish to be back there, over the toilet bowl; a starving skeleton. 

But I don't want that. 

But I do. 

Feeling bloated hasn't been helping. Talking about steps towards a “naturally appropriate weight” has cause an inordinate amount of panic in my already struggling mind. I’m really trying here, but I’m not gonna lie, it’s really f*cking hard. 

I’ve been living this way, in various degrees, for three years. Three years. Three years of crippling self-hatred, self-destruction, and a complete deterioration of trust; with my body, with my mind, with myself. 

So here’s the thing. 

I want to get better. But I don't want to gain weight. 

Sorry Morgs. We all know that’s not how it works. 

What would Karen say? 

“Morgan, where’s the positive.” 

Okay Mom. 

Here’s the positive: I deserve to get better. I deserve nourishment. My beauty comes from my soul, not from the mirror. The first step is always the hardest.

You hear that Morgs? 

Don't give up.