#I’m fucking feral about these two anyways want to hear my headcanons tee hee

[10piecechickenmcnugget]

Still writing out my thoughts about Dogwarts, but I'm returning the favor anyways.

I wanna here all your thoughts about Purpled and Wilbur. Or whoever you're most interested in.

You're letting me talk about characters I like, I'm letting you do the same :D

FUCK YEAH

(@dewberries-sillyblog cause you wanted to learn more about my blorbos)

under the cut cause this is gonna be L O N G

(split into sections so I can “organize” my thoughts) Purpled: my stupid ass traumatized alien son he’s a bastard and I hate him (/j)

Early SMP: alien boy. he doesn’t know what he’s doing he is simply fucking around and finding out adopting a dog and gathering resources. just living life having a funky fresh time

he and tommyinnit fucking HATE each other they chased each other around and murdered each other for like over and hour fundy broke into his house and stole his shit he bargained with Tommy for his own stuff for like 10 minutes and went to court but just snuck out the back (??? idk he’s wild)

fundy built the socializing club to resolve their arguments and purpled booby trapped it and stole everyone’s shit cause he’s just like that

L’Manberg War(s): he dabbled in lmanberg shit my guy had no idea what the fuck was going on all the god damn time he was so confused bro was literally just standing there one time he say ccrimeboys (who were exiled from lmanberg and were absolutely not supposed to be there) and he (a member of lmanberg) decided to just ignore them cause he can’t be bothered to give a shit he literally allowed Technoblade to causally boat home after he massacred everyone at the festival and murdered Tubbo he has zero fucks to give

✨intermission✨: he disappeared for several months and no one knew what was up with that

the following is not in chronological order cause I forgor

but Bad hired him to kidnap/kill Puffy and he was basically like “yeah sure fuck it” and I think he did the thing?? I don’t remember anyways he was kinda working for the Eggpire for a bit and then Quackity was like hey wanna work for me instead to betray them (he attracted his attention by threatening to blow up his UFO talk about foreshadowing) and purpled once again went yeah sure fuck it and betrayed the Eggpire for the money and Quackity did his whole “wait don’t go in yet let the shark guy die” and then they saved everyone and yadda yadda yadda “you’re a hero purpled” “I try my best”

Aftermath: we all know this part purpled is like okay bitch boy pay up and Quackity makes small talk gives him his money and then destroys his entire life right in front of him good times they yell at each other for a bit and Purpled storms off in silence to go be sad

He goes back to his stupid little cottage and is even sadder for a while and then Mr Charlie Slimecicle gaslights him for 30 minutes and he decides to join las nevadas (he’s lying about wanting to be there)

he hangs around lying to people for a bit and then sets up his overdramatic lava trap and yells at Quackity some more and then kills his bf for revenge cause that’s what they do on this server I fucking guess

he kidnaps slimes dead body and holds it captive in a cave purely just to kill him again and then Punz shows up and manipulates him a bit and Dream is there also

they show up gaslight slime bulky Quackity blow shit up purpled and Quackity yell at each other some more and then slime reveals HE was gaslighting everyone the whole time and fucking kills purpled (L + ratio)

then there’s the whole “you’re not a good person” but idc about that sorry quackcicle enjoyers

and then that’s kinda it man idk the whole ass smp ended

Random ramblings: purpled is a petty bastard and I hate him that bitch is full of improperly processed trauma (thank you icarus appollosboyfriend for that quote) and he hates everyone and he only kills people for the money cause he just wants money and power (and friends he just wants to go home) but he only accepts jobs from people he trusts and he’s a stupid bitch and he’s mean and absolutely will insult your mother but your honor he’s just a silly little guy simply a funky little lad and he just lies to people constantly he’s so funny and every time I think about him I go insane

now.

Wilbur. Motherfucking. Soot:

I am mentally ill about him I legitimately get sad often over him he has brought me close to tears unironically multiple times this is a common occurrence I have so much autism about him I’m such a basic bitch 😔

there’s no organization to this part I’m just going to go insane for several paragraphs:

HES SO SAD my boy is struggling constantly 24/7 he has had shit brain chemicals his whole life and he pretends he’s fine cause he has to be fine but he’s literally been putting up a persona the entire smp I just ajrhjabdbwjsj

he’s just a little guy ur honor who wanted to start a little nation for his friends and he tried SO HARD to keep the peace and let everyone live but people continuously fucked him over until he thought he HAD to resort to violence

he has so much trauma and he ignores all of it he’s so stressed all the time and he got beat to death with an axe after his friend betrayed him and and and

and fucking SCHLATT took his country his fucking country from him and kicked him out and his stupid ass lived in a ravine for god knows how long and he developed more mental illnesses then he already had

he legitimately thought everyone hated him and was only staying for the power and wholeheartedly believed that they would leave him if someone else offered something better and he was so scared all the time he was NOT living la vida loca and he just fucking lied about it all the time cause he’s an idiot

and he finally snapped and he was going to press the damn button and his fucking dad showed up and he had made up his mind he was going to die and he was taking lmanberg down with him so he did just that (assisted suicide babyyyyyy)

and don’t even get me started on ghostbur (that’ll come later)

then he fucking died and LIMBO oh my lordy lord he was alone in literal sensory deprivation torture for THIRTEEN AND A HALF YEARS holy motherfuck he lost his fucking mind in there he was not doing well that’s for fucking sure

then his bitch ass got revived and dear god did a lot happen while he was gone and he put on another goddamn persona because he’s fine guys!! he had time to think over everything while he was dead he’s perfectly fine he’s processed all his trauma he’s so much better now he definitely isn’t doing worse he’s fine guys !!! :D (he’s lying)

and one time he tried to explode dream with his mind so that was a thing and also threatened to kill himself despite being apparently happy to be alive again and absolutely fucking terrified of going back to limbo so anyways he still hates himself so that’s a thing

he and Quackity had a homoerotic rivalry and then he went to fucking. Utah so that happened

I’m fucking insane about cwilbur I cannot articulate this to you correctly but I cannot stress enough how feral he makes me

NOW ghostbur I’m insane about him too he’s an amnesiac and he’s so sad all the time and he still hates himself cause ‘alivebur’ hates himself and he considers PERMADYING a happy memory and he can only remember good things and H A T E S talking about his mental health or anything remotely sad and he’s just a little lad with his sheep and he just wants to make people happy and oughhhhhhhhh. anyways how are you guys doing :)