#I’ve literally done this for years (first with marvel now with ST) and it rarely gets me anywhere

[mysillystsideblog]

I do this thing, this totally unproductive thing, where I randomize a list of my favorite characters and put them in a generator to select them into pairs, and sometimes I write about whoever the combination is but most of the time it inspires me to write about people vaguely related to the two OR I can’t think of anything at all and spend hours just refreshing the sequence page so

Im thinking people should give me prompts??

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #482

Top Ten Sega Games

So I read somewhere on the internet that in June it’s the thirtieth birthday of Sonic the Hedgehog (making him only a couple of months younger than my brother, which is weird). This is due to his debut game, the appropriately-titled Sonic the Hedgehog, being first released on June 23rd. As such – and because I do love a good Tenuous Link – I’ve decided to dedicate this week’s list to Sega (also there was that Sonic livestream and announcement of new games, so I remain shockingly relevant).

I’ve got a funny relationship with Sega, largely because I’ve got a funny relationship with last century’s consoles in general. As I’ve said before, I never had a console growing up, and never really felt the need for one; I came from a computing background, playing on other people’s Spectrums and Commodores before getting my own Amiga and, later, a PC. And I stuck with it, and that was fine. But it does mean that, generally speaking, I have next to zero nostalgia for any game that came out on a Nintendo or Sega console (or Sony, for that matter). I could chew your ear off about Dizzy, or point-and-click adventure games, or Team 17, or Sensible Software, or RTS games, or FPS games, or whatever; but all these weird-looking Japanese platform games, or strange, unfamiliar RPGs? No idea. In fact, I remember learning what “Metroidvania” meant about five years ago, and literally saying out loud, “oh, so it’s like Flashback, then,” because I’d never played a (2D) Metroid or Castlevania game. Turns out they meant games that were, using the old Amiga Action terminology, “Arcade Adventures”. Now it makes sense.

Despite all this, I did actually play a fair few Sega games, as my cousins had a Mega Drive. So I’d get to have a bash at a fair few of them after school or whatever. This meant that, for a while, I was actually more of a Sega fan than a Nintendo one, a situation that’s broadly flipped since Sega stopped making hardware and Nintendo continued its gaming dominance. What all of this means, when strung together, is that I have a good deal of affection for some of the classics of Sega’s 16-bit heyday, but I don’t have the breadth or depth of knowledge you’d see from someone who, well, actually owned a console before the original Xbox. Yeah, sure, there are lots of games I liked back then; and probably quite a few that I still have warm nostalgic feelings for, even if they’re maybe not actually very good (Altered Beast, for instance, which I’m reliably informed was – to coin a very early-nineties phrase – “pants”, despite my being fond of it at the time). Therefore this list is probably going to be quite eccentric when compared to other “Best of Sega” lists. Especially because in the last couple of decades Sega has become a publisher for a number of development studios all around the world, giving support and distribution to the makers of diverse (and historically non-console) franchises as Total War and Football Manager. These might not be the fast-moving blue sky games one associates with Sega, but as far as I’m concerned they’re a vital part of the company’s history as it moved away from its hardware failures (and the increasingly lacklustre Sonic franchise) and into new waters. And just as important, of course, are their arcade releases, back in the days when people actually went to arcades (you know, I have multi-format games magazines at my parents’ house that are so old they actually review arcade games. Yes, I know!).

So, happy birthday, Sonic, you big blue bugger, you. Sorry your company pooed itself on the home console front. Sorry a lot of your games over the past twenty years have been a bit disappointing. But in a funny way you helped define the nineties, something that I personally don’t feel Mario quite did. And your film is better than his, too.

Crazy Taxi (Arcade, 1999): a simple concept – drive customers to their destination in the time limit – combined with a beautiful, sunny, blue skied rendition of San Francisco, giving you a gorgeous cityscape (back when driving round an open city was a new thrill), filled with hills to bounce over and traffic to dodge. A real looker twenty years ago, but its stylised, simple graphics haven’t really dated, feeling fittingly retro rather than old-fashioned or clunky. One of those games that’s fiendishly difficult to master, but its central hook is so compelling you keep coming back for more.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Mega Drive, 1992): games have rarely felt faster, and even if the original Sonic’s opening stages are more iconic, overall I prefer the sequel. Sonic himself was one of those very-nineties characters who focused on a gentle, child-friendly form of “attitude”, and it bursts off the screen, his frown and impatient foot-tapping really selling it. the gameplay is sublime, the graphics still really pop, and the more complex stages contrast nicely with the pastoral opening. Plus it gave us Tails, the game industry’s own Jar Jar Binks, who I’ll always love because my cousin made me play as him all the time.

Medieval II: Total War (PC, 2006): I’ll be honest with you, this game is really the number one, I just feel weird listing “Best Sega Games” and then putting a fifteen-year-old PC strategy game at the top of the pile. But what can I say? I like turn-based PC strategy games, especially ones that let you go deep on genealogy and inter-familial relationships in medieval Europe. everyone knows the real-time 3D battles are cool – they made a whole TV show about them – but for me it’s the slow conquering of Europe that’s the highlight. Marrying off princesses, assassinating rivals, even going on ethically-dubious religious crusades… I just love it. I’ve not played many of the subsequent games in the franchise, but to be honest I like this setting so much I really just want them to make a third Medieval game.

Sega Rally Championship (Arcade, 1994): what, four games in and we’re back to racing? Well, Sega make good racing games I guess. And Sega Rally is just a really good racing game. Another one of those that was a graphical marvel on its release, it has a loose and freewheeling sense of fun and accessibility. Plus it was one of those games that revelled in its open blue skies, from an era when racing games in the arcades loved to dazzle you with spectacle – like when a helicopter swoops low over the tracks. I had a demo of this on PC, too, and I used to race that one course over and over again.

After Burner (Arcade, 1987): there are a lot of arcade games in this list, but when they’re as cool as After Burner, what can you do? This was a technological masterpiece back in the day: a huge cockpit that enveloped you as you sat in the pilot’s seat, joystick in hand. The whole rig moved as you flew the plane, and the graphics (gorgeous for their time) wowed you with their speed and the way the horizon shifted. I was, of course, utterly crap at it, and I seem to remember it was more expensive than most games, so my dad hated me going on it. But it was the kind of thrilling experience that seems harder to replicate nowadays.

Virtua Cop (Arcade, 1994): I used to love lightgun games in the nineties. This despite being utterly, ridiculously crap at them. I can’t aim; ask anyone. But they felt really cool and futuristic, and also you could wave a big gun around like you were RoboCop or something. Virtua Cop added to the fun with its cool 3D graphics. Whilst I’d argue Time Crisis was better, with a little paddle that let you take cover, Cop again leveraged those bright Sega colours to give us a beautiful primary-coloured depiction of excessive ultra-violence and mass death.

Two Point Hospital (PC, 2018): back once again to the point-and-clickers, with another PC game only nominally Sega. But I can’t ignore it. Taking what was best about Theme Hospital and updating it for the 21st Century, TPH is a darkly funny but enjoyably deep management sim, with cute chunky graphics and an easy-to-use interface (Daughter #1 is very fond of it). The console adaptations are good, too. I’d love to see where Two Point go next. Maybe to a theme park…?

Jet Set Radio Future (Xbox, 2002): I never had a Dreamcast. But I remember seeing the original Jet Set Radio – maybe on TV, maybe running on a demo pod in Toys ‘R’ Us or something – and being blown away. It was the first time I’d ever seen cel shading, and it was a revelation; just a beautiful technique that I didn’t think was possible, that made the game look like a living cartoon. Finally being able to play the sequel on my new Xbox was terrific, because the gameplay was excellent too: a fast-paced game of chaining together jumps and glides, in a city that was popping with colour and bursting with energy. Felt like playing a game made entirely of Skittles and Red Bull.

The Typing of the Dead (PC, 2000): The House of the Dead games were descendants of Virtua Cop’s lightgun blasting, but with zombies. Yeah, cool; I liked playing them at the arcades down at Teesside Park, in the Hollywood Bowl or the Showcase cinema. But playing this PC adaptation of the quirky typing-based spin-off was something else. A game where you defeat zombies by correctly typing “cow” or “bottle” or whatever as quickly as possible? A game that was simultaneously an educational typing instructor and also a zombie murder simulator? The fact that the characters are wearing Ghostbusters-style backpacks made of Dreamcast consoles and keyboards is just a seriously crazy detail, and the way the typing was integrated into the gameplay – harder enemies had longer words, for instance – was very well done. A bonkers mini-masterpiece.

Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 (Switch, 2019): the very fact that erstwhile cultural enemies Mario and Sonic would ever share a game at all is the stuff of addled mid-nineties fever dreams; like Downey’s Tony Stark sharing the screen with Bale’s Batman (or Affleck’s Batman, who the hell cares at this point). The main thing is, it’s still crazy to think about it, even if it’s just entirely ordinary for my kids, sitting their unaware of the Great Console Wars of the 1990s. Anyway, divorced of all that pan-universal gladhanding, the games are good fun, adapting the various Olympic sports with charm, making them easy-to-understand party games, often with motion control for the benefit of the youngs and the olds. I don’t remember playing earlier games extensively, but the soft-RPG trappings of the latest iteration are enjoyable, especially the retro-themed events and graphics. Earns a spot in my Top Ten for its historic nature, but it’s also thoroughly enjoyable in its own right.

Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if all those crazy internet rumours were actually true, and Microsoft did announce it was buying Sega this E3? This really would feel like a very timely and in some ways prescient list.

[limpblotter]

(Kiss prompt) 19 screams vanina to me

(I think I’ve done this in the past, Vanessa kissing Nina to distract her so here is loosely the opposite) 

“Nina come ooooon” Vanessa yanked back Nina’s overly plushcomforter off her bed. Instinctively looking for warmth Nina brought her legsto her chest and groaned as the chill of being blanketless intruded her. “ItsBlack Friday and we gotta get to 181st before all the good deals aregone. I’ve already devised a plan—“

Black Friday was literally the worse day of the year. Ninahad returned to spend Thanksgiving with her family. Though they didn’t appreciateNina and Sonny tag teamed speech about how the very definition of Thanksgivingwas nothing but a hallmark hoax to cover up the bloodied American truth. Thataside, the dinner was great. Of course somber without Abuela but Usnavi turnedout the turkey and the roast pork shoulder like it was no one’s business. Ninaand her mother made the rice and beans, and Vanessa managed to make a pie thatdidn’t require her to watch it for too long.

Now it was the day after, Nina’s stomach was stillrecovering from the copious amounts of food she chose to ingest. Certainly anynormal person didn’t want to run around, stomach half full from the nightbefore, into the bitter New York cold of November just for a couple of sales.

“NINA”

Certainly Vanessa wasn’t normal.

“Vanni, please, I’m tired.” Nina grumbled, pressing hersleepy face against her pillow so there was nothing but a mane of curls and noface exposed. She felt the bed shift a little as Vanessa got on, and knelt byNina’s side. “Vanessa, please.”

“Nina-Maria-Rosario” Vanessa pulled out the full name usingNina’s never used confirmation name against her, “you promised last night you’dgo shopping with me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about-“

“Maybe you shouldn’t have sipped that wine then” Vanessarolled her eyes and Nina could practically her it in her voice. “You lush.”

“Vanessa, its not worth it. The sales aren’t that great andall the shops in 181st are closed. That entire shopping district isbeing gutted, all you’re going to find are empty stores and gentrified up andcoming high end places.”

“That have sales.”

“You’re feeding into the murder of an entire culture.”

“Aye, Nina please!” Vanessa sat on the bed, her back toNina. “So a couple of shops closed down, so the hood is changing, its cleanerand yea, its whiter and richer. So what I stop living my life? I can’t stop thechange, you can’t stop it either so what do we do? We either get out of NewYork or we change with it. Those shops are gone but that doesn’t mean our cityis gone. Before the Hispanics and the Latinos it was Jewish and Italian places,before them it was the Germans and the Dutch. The city is like a life cycle.”

Nina rose her head up a little bit. As a sociology majorthis was beyond compelling, without even trying Vanessa in her own way wasexplaining a delicate concept of urban life cycles. She marveled in the subtle brilliancethat she was sure Vanessa didn’t know she had. Or maybe she did.

“Parts of it die, and the only thing we know for certainthat in a couple of decades whatever is being put there now is going to diesoon. Because there is one thing no culture is immune to…and that’s how fuckingexpensive New York rent is. No one can afford a store there for long, whichmeans if we go shopping and I get my sale products I’ll have a piece that in 60years tops will be worth something much more~”

And the brilliance came to a small, materialistic halt. Ninasat up and wrapped her arms around Vanessa as she rambled a bit over the storesshe wanted to check out first. “The most I’ll do is window shop.” Nina addedturned her head a bit, Vanessa looked back at her to argue the fact she wantedNina to at least try something on when lips touched hers.

The kiss was never just a peck, they were always more. Theywere always hungry for each other, passionate for something even if it was justin the moment. Nina pulled away and felt dizzy spells come over her just bybeing in Vanessa’s rare, smiling presence. “Fine.” Vanessa defeatedly kickedoff her shoes, “sleep for one more hour but then we go.” She flopped backtaking Nina down with her and resumed a state of warm, body to body cuddling.