#I’ve seen Sheer Mag live & they have such a cool sound

[pursuingtheplanet]

A low roar makes me jump as I stare over the city. I look up to see the belly of an aeroplane soaring above us. The vibrations are pretty violent, and I almost fear for the ruins surrounding me. After nearly two hours on a coach, this is the Heraklion that greets us: hot, busy, eclectic. Just one of the stops on our tour of Eastern Crete.  

While I understand the need for an early pick up for this particular trip, it doesn’t mean I like it. Thankfully the air is cool at 6:30 am while we wait for our ride, and we are quick to doze off in its cushioned seats. Halfway to our destination we stop at a roadside café in the middle of nowhere. The driver grabs a much needed coffee, while the rest of us make the most of the fresh doughnuts and orange juice on offer. Tummies full and legs stretched, we quickly doze off again for an hour or so until our driver wakes us up by sharply breaking in a car park. This alerts us to our first: no trip to Crete would be complete without a visit to Knossos.

The last time I came here I was four years old. Now, after studying Classical Civilisation and ancient literature as part of my degree, it is a site I have been desperate to revisit. The Sunday morning heat is uncomfortable but the place isn’t manically busy yet; just a few guides marching groups through narrow spots like the ‘Room with the Copies’ and temporarily blocking them. The swallows that are perched and nesting above doorways do make for good entertainment though, especially when they begin dive-bomb unsuspecting tourists below. The place is certainly fascinating however. The grand staircase and royal apartments offer insight into the sheer scale of the site. My musical background draws me the ‘theatre’ where I take a snap with a well-known travel mag to try and get featured (it doesn’t work). The backdrop to the ancient palace is also stunning, rolling hills and lush green trees framing the site, adding to its grandeur. Yet I must confess myself a little disappointed: while the sheer age of the site certainly makes it impressive, there are elements that dim its raw legitimacy. Patches of red paint mark ‘re-creations’, and square windows have been added in during some points of its excavation. I may sound ungrateful, ignorant even to some; don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful for the preservation of the palace, along with other similar sites across the globe. The re-painted frescos across the palace, made to look suitably aged, are very well executed. I guess I just had an image of a palace whose original architecture had been almost completely preserved, or lay in near complete ruin with its age being the focal point, not some hybrid sitting in-between. Some of the more disparaging sights created by other tourists: a man has been employed to sit a particular spot and shout at people attempting to take pictures stood on top of one of many giant urns, and a gentleman is yelled at after wandering around with a cigarette in his mouth. It is a place that I need to come back to in the low season, I feel, away from the tours and masses of tourists that come stomping through the gate just as we are leaving. Away from those that come here just because it is on some list of places to visit or a hotel excursion. And away from the heat.  

Our next stop, however, fulfils any further questions I may have of the site itself; a short drive into the city centre of Héraklion leads us to the Archaeological Museum. The first three rooms immediately grab my attention, the bright lights making all the gold displayed in cabinets glitter. Our guide book states them as “luxury objects from the Neolithic settlement of Knossos and Prepalatial tholos tombs of the Mesara, as well the burial complexes of Malia, Mochlos, and Archanes”. Any grandeur the palace of Knossos may have lost is certainly compensated for within its safely stored treasures, the pinnacle object for me being the Malian golden bee pendant, displaying Minoan taste at its finest.           There is even a stunning replica of the Knossos palace, which can rival Leavesden Studios’ miniature Hogwarts in terms of detail. My favourite element of the museum, however, has to be the Phaistos disc. The earliest known example of Minoan text, the disc is believed of be of a religious nature, possibly a prayer to a Minoan Goddess (thanks to a 2014 study). In the museum though it sits isolated, both sides displayed in a glass cabinet while a single bright bulb shines above it, making the clay almost appear gold and shimmering. I manage to grab a quick snap of it (don’t worry, I’m allowed to), and smile as a little girl with a very expensive looking camera patiently waits for people to move out of the way so that she can get the perfect picture.

Walking beyond these sparkling treasures, I learn that the museum is very strict: some exhibits cannot be photographed since they have not been formally published yet, which is fair enough. It is also amusing to see grown men flinch at a woman’s bark of “be quiet!” when the level of noise in each room gets a little high, the echoing reprimand reminding me of being told off in a school assembly. Though I am glad to not be the subject of her shouts, it does not deter me from getting as close as I can to each exhibit, beautiful frescos such as the ‘Bull-Leaper’ and a stunning Gold Myrtle wreath proving yet more insight into life inside Knossos.              

By the time we’ve finished in the museum, we don’t really have time to explore the city. There is a chance, however, to grab a coffee and the first slice of ‘real’ baklava I’ve encountered since being in Greece. It should seem fitting then that it is the biggest slice I’ve ever seen. Savouring every crumb I can, I’m amazed by the juxtaposition of the city that surrounds me. We’re in the old part of tow, ruins and tired looking buildings dotted around us, while aeroplanes glide low into the nearby airport, vibrations making the air buzz, and giant ferries hum in the port, destined for Athens.  Settling back in our comfy seats for the long drive back, we expect to arrive at our hotel just before dinner. But just an hour into the journey we make an unexpected stop in Réthymno, Crete’s third and ‘middle’ city.                

“We stay here for a bit. No longer than 45 minutes. Go. Go wander.”

We obey our guide and step out into the surprisingly cooler air of the port of Réthymno, dark clouds above us signalling imminent rain, while a chilly breeze is a welcome breath of fresh air. We walk up a slight hill and are suddenly in the old part of town, the small harbour greeting us echoing Chania’s charm and character. We can see a maze of narrow streets ahead of us, but whether it is the early morning finally catching up with us, the extensive travelling, or the Sunday afternoon attitude in the air, suddenly the canopied bars lining the harbour are incredibly inviting. We pick one with comfy sofas right next the lapping water, old ships tethered up to our right, resting for the day before the tours of the coast begin again tomorrow. Orange juice is again the drink of choice, though the choice of food on the menu is extensive. The table next to us have opted for a fresh fish platter, which seems to contain a myriad of shellfish, squid, swordfish, and others that I don’t recognise. It looks fabulous, though the cats loitering next to the table seem to be getting the lion’s share, perhaps due to on being very clearly pregnant. The hum of a Harley accompanies our quiet drink, speeding away as we had back towards our own ride. We spot other restaurants making the most of the quiet time of day before the crowds roll in, setting up stunning displays of today’s offerings, live crab and lobster attempting to scuttle away before their claws are banded shut.  

Relaxing into the last leg of our journey, I try and remember everything I have seen today, all the treasures and artefacts, everything precious and ancient. Suddenly I become very thankful for the guide book we picked up in Héraklion. Yet it is this last stop that has proved to be the most curious, a place that I have seen signposted but never thought of visiting. As we leave Réthymno the heavens open, and I decide I definitely want to come back here, for a meal at least.  

[theworstbob]

the thing journal: 16 july 2017 - 22 july 2017

capsulre reviews of what all pop culture things i took in last week. in this post: from the outside, fall for you, baby driver, adornment, jhud, need to feel your love, and the good place (s1)

1) From the Outside, by Hey Violet: So as far as Albums By Very Young Bands Fronted By Women Bob Enjoys Way More Than He Should go, this isn't as complete as Against the Current's In Our Bones from last year (which honestly still rules). There's a lot more modern pop influence on this record, and while anyone who reads YAS knows my relationship with modern pop is rather fraught, I do find certain EDM tolerable, and I am more than OK with a pop/punk band taking on some of those electronic influences, especially if they're gonna use them to make songs like "Break My Heart." Honestly, listening to this album, I kinda feel like Hey Violet could save pop music. Their music is unapologetically young and dumb, all these songs about hoodies and fuckboys and other early 20s things, but at no point does it get as dour as anything on the pop charts. There's probably little chance this band blows up ("Guys My Age" was a poor choice for a lead single, given how good the rest of the songs are), but man, if anything needed to be infused with bratty pop/punk energy, it's the world.

2) Fall for You, by Leela James: This is a really good soul album. Fun fact about me, one thing I'm trying to do is, after listening to an album, writing down a few things about how I felt so that, when the time comes to write these posts, I'm not apologizing for failing to remember anything about it. For this album, I apparently only wrote "solid, solid soul." Oops! We're learning. But while that summary is over-simplistic, it's not inaccurate; this is really solid work, just ten songs worth of impressive vocal work on well-built soul tracks. I could see this album being something like, let's see, what sort of analogy can I come up with, this album is gonna be like sweet potato fries for me. I never think about sweet potato fries or go out of my way to find sweet potato fries, but if I'm out at a restaurant, and I see sweet potato fries are on offer, I might just say, "Yo! Let me get those sweet potato fries!" and I'm gonna love those sweet potato fries. It's gonna happen where I'm scrolling through my library, get to the Fs, see this album, and have another great 40 minutes. I would like to thank TTJ for allowing me to clarify my relationship with sweet potato fries.

3) Baby Driver, dir. Edgar Wright: This film is a technical marvel. The shootout that is synced to "Tequila" is a miracle, something I can't believe anyone had the mind to imagine and the ability to execute, this film is maybe the greatest feat of editing I've seen since Mad Max: Fury Road. From a story standpoint, it's almost a zero, which is disappointing from an Edgar Wright joint. I never got the sense that the characters were supposed to be anything other than "cool," and none of them felt like they could have existed outside of this movie. It's absolutely nuts to watch these action sequences, this is a movie that was made for a bygone era where people would buy DVD copies of movies to watch making-of featurettes like absolutely don't get me wrong this film is worth seeing, I just wish the people had been more fleshed out, that this film could have hit the "this film means a lot to me" level most of Edgar Wright's films have hit and not just the "this was an incredible cinematic feat" level.

4) Adornment, by Grayscale: The Punk Goes Pop series of compilations from Hopeless Records is often embarrassing, but every year at least one band does something really cool with their cover. I usually encounter one really dope band with each edition; Go Radio on vol4, Set it Off on vol6 (real quick? their cover of “Problem” is still fucking beautiful), and now these cats. Their cover of "Love Yourself" is as good an ad for this album as anything; it doesn't paint too far outside the lines, but it does deliver something solid and entertaining within its boundaries. I wanna real quick shout out "Atlantic;" I can see this band's from Philly, and it's kind of clear this band takes a lot of inspiration from bands like The Wonder Years, because while this song doesn't have the beauty of specificity like "Passing Through a Screen Door," Grayscale seems very young and isn't quite so mature, you can hear a similar sense of ennui and yearning for escape, and I really hope they continue chasing that arrow. I'm eager to watch this band.

5) JHUD, by Jennifer Hudson: So, this was a crummy week for me and new things; I went out and did things with people, spent more of my free time consuming content than experiencing art, and I at least hit the goal of seven, but it kinda shouldn't count, because one of them was this thing I was barely paying attention to? But I'm not sure this was worth paying attention to. It's an OK pop/R&B album, everything sounded clean, but man, I really don't want to hear Jennifer Hudson singing mediocre pop songs with R. Kelly and Iggy Azalea features. Like, the bare minimum I require from an album is that, when the bus route goes through those patches where my cell's connection tanks, I'm willing to go back and resume listening should Amazon Music cut out. It happened to this album, and I said, nah. Nah, I think I've extracted all the value I can from this one. Maybe if I spent last week in a better mood, I might've at least finished it? But I highly doubt the last two songs were gonna change my mind about this album's underwhelmingness.

6) Need to Feel Your Love, by Sheer Mag: Every band from Philadelphia I encounter makes incredible music and if I wasn't so sure living in Philadelphia would be hella expensive I'd be on the next train there. I was in love with this album from the very first riff. Like, legit, I turned this on at the bus stop, heard the first notes of music, and mouthed the words 'hell yeah.' This is a band making music for Baby Driver 2. They have this classic rock vibe that fucking owns and never feels like a retread; more importantly, the novelty of a band making '70s punk music never wears off, they find enough variety from song to song while still maintaining a consistent clear vision of their Baby Driver rock, and the album always feels fresh, I was increasingly excited to hear what trick the band had up their sleeve for the next song.

7) The Good Place, cr. Michael Schur (s1): OK. OK, THIS is what I've been waiting for from Mike Schur. It's nice that Brooklyn Nine-Nine was fun, but Schur always made comedy with higher purpose than just jokes, and my stars, does The Good Place ever fit that bill. It's this really deep and meaningful look into the question of what makes a good person and whether it's possible for anyone to find redemption, and it's also a show where a dude from Florida impersonating a Buddhist monk marries a helpful robot. Oh man, Jane. Guys? Guys? Real quick? Janet. Greatest character. Greatest performance. How come D'Arcy Carden hasn't been in more things or isn't nominated for sixteen Emmys. I love Janet. Janet is so good. I can't believe the show has room for both the deep philosophical quandaries it poses and a character as silly as Janet.

[johnbattlesca]

Enter the Mind of Master Ken, the Martial Artist Behind Enter the Dojo, Part 1

If you haven’t watched the wildly popular Enter the Dojo comedy series, do it now. Before you read this article. Go to YouTube and click. That’s the only way you’ll be able to put a face, a voice and a moustache behind the wacky words that come from the martial artist known as Master Ken.

Caution: You’re about to read comments from a real martial artist (Matt Page) interspersed with comments from a fictional character (Master Ken). To make it easier to distinguish the two, we’ve italicized the words of Master Ken.

BLACK BELT: WHEN YOU’RE IN CHARACTER AS MASTER KEN, YOUR MOVES REMIND ME OF KENPO. DO YOU COME FROM A KENPO BACKGROUND?

Matt Page: My first style was Okinawan kenpo and kobudo. I received my first-degree black belt from Rich Pelletier in 1996. He was an amazing instructor and instilled discipline and structure in my life when I really needed it. His school was very traditional and gave me a strong foundation not only in martial arts as a way of self-defense but also in martial arts as a way of life.

After that I moved around a lot and sampled various arts: aikido, boxing, stick fighting, etc. Then I settled on American kenpo, studying under Tony and Erika Potter in Santa Fe at one of Jeff Speakman’s kenpo 5.0 schools. I’d always wanted to learn the kind of kenpo I’d seen in movies like The Perfect Weapon, so that was great fun.

More recently, I’ve been studying Brazilian jiu-jitsu. There are so many styles I’d like to study — hapkido, kung fu — but for some reason, I’m always drawn back to some form of kenpo.

Silat for the Street is the title of an online course from Black Belt Hall of Famer Burton Richardson and Black Belt magazine. Now you can learn the most functional silat techniques whenever and wherever you want on your smartphone, tablet or computer. Get more info here!

BLACK BELT: MASTER KEN, I KNOW YOUR BACKGROUND IS IN AMERI-DO-TE, BUT IN THE MAGAZINE, WE NORMALLY DON’T USE CAPITAL LETTERS WHEN WE WRITE THE NAMES OF MARTIAL ARTS. ARE YOU COOL WITH US SPELLING THE NAME OF YOUR ART “ameri-do-te,” OR IS THAT AN INSULT TO EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR?

Master Ken: I notice you don’t have a problem capitalizing Black Belt. How would you like it if I called you “black belt magazine”? It’s not only an insult; it weakens the word. The capitalization of not one, not two, but THREE letters in the name of my street-lethal fighting system lets people know how serious it is. Speaking of serious: By the authority vested in me as the creator of and 11th-degree black belt in the most dangerous martial art in the world — Ameri-Do-Te — I hereby demote you to white belt.

BLACK BELT: DID YOU LEARN ameri-do-te FROM A MASTER, OR DID YOU CREATE IT?

Master Ken: I wasted years of my life studying pretty much every combative system in the world. In kenpo, they’re always slapping themselves. For every time a kenpo guy hits his opponent, he hits himself three times — which is great because if you fight a kenpo black belt long enough, eventually he’ll kick his own ass.

In krav maga, they don’t even use the belt system. How are they supposed to know who’s more advanced? All they do is trade patches like a bunch of Girl Scouts.

Tai chi is a martial art designed specifically for sissies and old people. I once saw a tai chi instructor get beat up by a mime. He got thrown into an imaginary wall and choked with an invisible rope.

Announcing a new low price on the Greg Jackson Mixed Martial Arts Core Curriculum, an online course from Black Belt magazine and the world’s leading MMA coach! Learn the best fighting techniques, combinations and strategies on your tablet or smartphone. More info here!

Each time I learned a new martial art, I could see a few moves that worked — with my own special modifications, of course — but I also found flaws and weaknesses everywhere. My style takes the best parts of every other martial art in the world with none of the weaknesses. That’s why we like to say “Ameri-Do-Te: Best of All, Worst of None.”

BLACK BELT: DO YOU HAVE YOUR OWN KENPO SCHOOL?

Matt Page: I’ve never run my own school. I have helped teach kids’ classes and the occasional adult class at a few schools, but I’ve always thought of myself a perpetual student.

BLACK BELT: WHAT’S IT LIKE RUNNING THE SCHOOL THAT TEACHES THE MOST EFFECTIVE MARTIAL ART IN THE WORLD? ARE YOUR COMPETITORS JEALOUS? HOSTILE? HOW COME THEY’RE NOT ALL OUT OF BUSINESS?

Master Ken: The hardest part is getting people past the initial shock of how effective our style is. I get people who come in off the street and see us do our patented “groin sparring,” where the first student to grab the other student’s groin wins the match, and they just shake their heads and walk out. They’re too scared.

BLACK BELT: HOW DO YOU — AND MASTER KEN — COME UP WITH CONCEPTS LIKE “GROIN SPARRING”?

Matt Page: After high school, I moved to Southern California to become a movie star. Being so naive, of course, I struggled there. Each time I would move to a new neighborhood — which was often — I would go to the closest dojo and sign up for classes. One place had a method of training they called “groin sparring.” They said the groin was the only target that mattered in a street fight, so they didn’t focus on kicks or punches to other parts of the body. Whoever grabbed their opponent’s groin first won. Simple, right? But then for my first match, they made me fight a woman. That was just one of many bizarre experiences over the years.

BLACK BELT: WHERE DID THE NAME “ameri-do-te” COME FROM?

Master Ken: Most civilians think the word “karate” represents all martial arts. I believe that one day, my style of Ameri-Do-Te will replace all fighting systems, so I wanted it to sound similar but different. America has a great history of taking things created by other countries and improving them. Like Italian food. So I took the word “karate-do” and Americanized it to “Ameri-Do-Te.”

Also, having a martial art that begins with the letter “A” makes us first in the phone book.

The karate/kobudo master teamed up with Black Belt mag to make Fumio Demura Karate Weapons: Complete Video Course. Merging Demura’s classic DVDs with new new kata footage, the program streams lessons on the nunchaku, bo, kama, sai, tonfa and eku bo to your smartphone, tablet or computer. Details here!

BLACK BELT: WHO ARE SOME OF THE REAL MARTIAL ARTISTS YOU LOOK UP TO?

Matt Page: There are so many. From famous martial artists whose films drove my interest in the entertainment business — Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, Jeff Speakman, Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee — to those whose books and interviews in magazines inspired me to keep training — like Ed Parker, Bill “Superfoot” Wallace and Royce Gracie. It’s been totally surreal to meet some of these people in person after admiring their work from afar all these years.

The biggest irony about Enter the Dojo is that I pick on the styles and people I love the most. I’ve said some crazy things about Van Damme and Seagal, but that’s because they were my favorite action stars growing up. And I’m always poking fun at kenpo because it’s the style I’ve dedicated so much of my life to. So if Master Ken takes the time to go after you or your style, it’s a sign of affection.

BLACK BELT: ARE THERE ANY MARTIAL ARTS OR MARTIAL ARTISTS YOU LOOK UP TO?

Master Ken: Asking me what other martial arts I look up to is like asking me to pick my favorite disease. I could tell which ones are worse than others, but I wouldn’t choose any of them.

BLACK BELT: HAS ANYONE EVER BEEN SO UPSET AT SOMETHING MASTER KEN SAID THAT HE — OR SHE — CHALLENGED YOU TO A FIGHT?

Matt Page: Not me personally, but Master Ken has received hundreds of challenges, as well as some death threats. Those come mainly from people who don’t realize he’s a fictional character. Most of those people soon realize we’re kidding, but there are still a few who choose to remain hurt or threatened by what Ken says. I do a live show, and even at my best performances, I get reports afterward of people who were offended and got up and walked out. But that’s OK — you can’t please everybody, I guess.

BLACK BELT: HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO DEFEND THE HONOR OF YOUR SCHOOL OR ART IN A FIGHT? HOW DID IT TURN OUT?

Master Ken: Are you kidding? People come in off the street and challenge me all the time. I offer them a chance to sign the waiver that releases me from any and all responsibility should they be killed. It’s a 400-page document. No one has gotten past the first 50 signatures. But when they do, they will have signed their own death warrant.

(To be continued.)

Photos by Cory Sorensen

BONUS: Master Ken on Fitness!

“If you want to work out, go for it. Aerobics classes masquerading as self-defense — like cardio kickboxing — waste valuable time on cardiovascular fitness. I focus on street-fighting fitness. It’s a scientific fact that the more often you experience moments of sheer terror, the bigger your adrenal glands get, which allows you to hold more testosterone than the average person.

“Ameri-Do-Te drills get your blood pumping with a surprise attack by multiple assailants — for example, while you’re using the dojo toilet. To avoid getting winded, the fight should be over as quickly as possible. If your fight lasts longer than it takes me to tie my belt, you’re not ready for the street.”

from Black Belt» Daily » Black Belt http://www.blackbeltmag.com/daily/martial-arts-entertainment/enter-the-mind-of-master-ken-the-martial-artist-behind-enter-the-dojo-part-1/ Enter the Mind of Master Ken, the Martial Artist Behind Enter the Dojo, Part 1 published first on http://thrandythefabulous.tumblr.com

[thrandythefabulous]

Enter the Mind of Master Ken, the Martial Artist Behind Enter the Dojo, Part 1

If you haven’t watched the wildly popular Enter the Dojo comedy series, do it now. Before you read this article. Go to YouTube and click. That’s the only way you’ll be able to put a face, a voice and a moustache behind the wacky words that come from the martial artist known as Master Ken.

Caution: You’re about to read comments from a real martial artist (Matt Page) interspersed with comments from a fictional character (Master Ken). To make it easier to distinguish the two, we’ve italicized the words of Master Ken.

BLACK BELT: WHEN YOU’RE IN CHARACTER AS MASTER KEN, YOUR MOVES REMIND ME OF KENPO. DO YOU COME FROM A KENPO BACKGROUND?

Matt Page: My first style was Okinawan kenpo and kobudo. I received my first-degree black belt from Rich Pelletier in 1996. He was an amazing instructor and instilled discipline and structure in my life when I really needed it. His school was very traditional and gave me a strong foundation not only in martial arts as a way of self-defense but also in martial arts as a way of life.

After that I moved around a lot and sampled various arts: aikido, boxing, stick fighting, etc. Then I settled on American kenpo, studying under Tony and Erika Potter in Santa Fe at one of Jeff Speakman’s kenpo 5.0 schools. I’d always wanted to learn the kind of kenpo I’d seen in movies like The Perfect Weapon, so that was great fun.

More recently, I’ve been studying Brazilian jiu-jitsu. There are so many styles I’d like to study — hapkido, kung fu — but for some reason, I’m always drawn back to some form of kenpo.

Silat for the Street is the title of an online course from Black Belt Hall of Famer Burton Richardson and Black Belt magazine. Now you can learn the most functional silat techniques whenever and wherever you want on your smartphone, tablet or computer. Get more info here!

BLACK BELT: MASTER KEN, I KNOW YOUR BACKGROUND IS IN AMERI-DO-TE, BUT IN THE MAGAZINE, WE NORMALLY DON’T USE CAPITAL LETTERS WHEN WE WRITE THE NAMES OF MARTIAL ARTS. ARE YOU COOL WITH US SPELLING THE NAME OF YOUR ART “ameri-do-te,” OR IS THAT AN INSULT TO EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR?

Master Ken: I notice you don’t have a problem capitalizing Black Belt. How would you like it if I called you “black belt magazine”? It’s not only an insult; it weakens the word. The capitalization of not one, not two, but THREE letters in the name of my street-lethal fighting system lets people know how serious it is. Speaking of serious: By the authority vested in me as the creator of and 11th-degree black belt in the most dangerous martial art in the world — Ameri-Do-Te — I hereby demote you to white belt.

BLACK BELT: DID YOU LEARN ameri-do-te FROM A MASTER, OR DID YOU CREATE IT?

Master Ken: I wasted years of my life studying pretty much every combative system in the world. In kenpo, they’re always slapping themselves. For every time a kenpo guy hits his opponent, he hits himself three times — which is great because if you fight a kenpo black belt long enough, eventually he’ll kick his own ass.

In krav maga, they don’t even use the belt system. How are they supposed to know who’s more advanced? All they do is trade patches like a bunch of Girl Scouts.

Tai chi is a martial art designed specifically for sissies and old people. I once saw a tai chi instructor get beat up by a mime. He got thrown into an imaginary wall and choked with an invisible rope.

Announcing a new low price on the Greg Jackson Mixed Martial Arts Core Curriculum, an online course from Black Belt magazine and the world’s leading MMA coach! Learn the best fighting techniques, combinations and strategies on your tablet or smartphone. More info here!

Each time I learned a new martial art, I could see a few moves that worked — with my own special modifications, of course — but I also found flaws and weaknesses everywhere. My style takes the best parts of every other martial art in the world with none of the weaknesses. That’s why we like to say “Ameri-Do-Te: Best of All, Worst of None.”

BLACK BELT: DO YOU HAVE YOUR OWN KENPO SCHOOL?

Matt Page: I’ve never run my own school. I have helped teach kids’ classes and the occasional adult class at a few schools, but I’ve always thought of myself a perpetual student.

BLACK BELT: WHAT’S IT LIKE RUNNING THE SCHOOL THAT TEACHES THE MOST EFFECTIVE MARTIAL ART IN THE WORLD? ARE YOUR COMPETITORS JEALOUS? HOSTILE? HOW COME THEY’RE NOT ALL OUT OF BUSINESS?

Master Ken: The hardest part is getting people past the initial shock of how effective our style is. I get people who come in off the street and see us do our patented “groin sparring,” where the first student to grab the other student’s groin wins the match, and they just shake their heads and walk out. They’re too scared.

BLACK BELT: HOW DO YOU — AND MASTER KEN — COME UP WITH CONCEPTS LIKE “GROIN SPARRING”?

Matt Page: After high school, I moved to Southern California to become a movie star. Being so naive, of course, I struggled there. Each time I would move to a new neighborhood — which was often — I would go to the closest dojo and sign up for classes. One place had a method of training they called “groin sparring.” They said the groin was the only target that mattered in a street fight, so they didn’t focus on kicks or punches to other parts of the body. Whoever grabbed their opponent’s groin first won. Simple, right? But then for my first match, they made me fight a woman. That was just one of many bizarre experiences over the years.

BLACK BELT: WHERE DID THE NAME “ameri-do-te” COME FROM?

Master Ken: Most civilians think the word “karate” represents all martial arts. I believe that one day, my style of Ameri-Do-Te will replace all fighting systems, so I wanted it to sound similar but different. America has a great history of taking things created by other countries and improving them. Like Italian food. So I took the word “karate-do” and Americanized it to “Ameri-Do-Te.”

Also, having a martial art that begins with the letter “A” makes us first in the phone book.

The karate/kobudo master teamed up with Black Belt mag to make Fumio Demura Karate Weapons: Complete Video Course. Merging Demura’s classic DVDs with new new kata footage, the program streams lessons on the nunchaku, bo, kama, sai, tonfa and eku bo to your smartphone, tablet or computer. Details here!

BLACK BELT: WHO ARE SOME OF THE REAL MARTIAL ARTISTS YOU LOOK UP TO?

Matt Page: There are so many. From famous martial artists whose films drove my interest in the entertainment business — Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, Jeff Speakman, Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee — to those whose books and interviews in magazines inspired me to keep training — like Ed Parker, Bill “Superfoot” Wallace and Royce Gracie. It’s been totally surreal to meet some of these people in person after admiring their work from afar all these years.

The biggest irony about Enter the Dojo is that I pick on the styles and people I love the most. I’ve said some crazy things about Van Damme and Seagal, but that’s because they were my favorite action stars growing up. And I’m always poking fun at kenpo because it’s the style I’ve dedicated so much of my life to. So if Master Ken takes the time to go after you or your style, it’s a sign of affection.

BLACK BELT: ARE THERE ANY MARTIAL ARTS OR MARTIAL ARTISTS YOU LOOK UP TO?

Master Ken: Asking me what other martial arts I look up to is like asking me to pick my favorite disease. I could tell which ones are worse than others, but I wouldn’t choose any of them.

BLACK BELT: HAS ANYONE EVER BEEN SO UPSET AT SOMETHING MASTER KEN SAID THAT HE — OR SHE — CHALLENGED YOU TO A FIGHT?

Matt Page: Not me personally, but Master Ken has received hundreds of challenges, as well as some death threats. Those come mainly from people who don’t realize he’s a fictional character. Most of those people soon realize we’re kidding, but there are still a few who choose to remain hurt or threatened by what Ken says. I do a live show, and even at my best performances, I get reports afterward of people who were offended and got up and walked out. But that’s OK — you can’t please everybody, I guess.

BLACK BELT: HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO DEFEND THE HONOR OF YOUR SCHOOL OR ART IN A FIGHT? HOW DID IT TURN OUT?

Master Ken: Are you kidding? People come in off the street and challenge me all the time. I offer them a chance to sign the waiver that releases me from any and all responsibility should they be killed. It’s a 400-page document. No one has gotten past the first 50 signatures. But when they do, they will have signed their own death warrant.

(To be continued.)

Photos by Cory Sorensen

BONUS: Master Ken on Fitness!

“If you want to work out, go for it. Aerobics classes masquerading as self-defense — like cardio kickboxing — waste valuable time on cardiovascular fitness. I focus on street-fighting fitness. It’s a scientific fact that the more often you experience moments of sheer terror, the bigger your adrenal glands get, which allows you to hold more testosterone than the average person.

“Ameri-Do-Te drills get your blood pumping with a surprise attack by multiple assailants — for example, while you’re using the dojo toilet. To avoid getting winded, the fight should be over as quickly as possible. If your fight lasts longer than it takes me to tie my belt, you’re not ready for the street.”

from Black Belt» Daily » Black Belt http://www.blackbeltmag.com/daily/martial-arts-entertainment/enter-the-mind-of-master-ken-the-martial-artist-behind-enter-the-dojo-part-1/

[michaelchinworcester]

Enter the Mind of Master Ken, the Martial Artist Behind Enter the Dojo, Part 1

If you haven’t watched the wildly popular Enter the Dojo comedy series, do it now. Before you read this article. Go to YouTube and click. That’s the only way you’ll be able to put a face, a voice and a moustache behind the wacky words that come from the martial artist known as Master Ken.

Caution: You’re about to read comments from a real martial artist (Matt Page) interspersed with comments from a fictional character (Master Ken). To make it easier to distinguish the two, we’ve italicized the words of Master Ken.

BLACK BELT: WHEN YOU’RE IN CHARACTER AS MASTER KEN, YOUR MOVES REMIND ME OF KENPO. DO YOU COME FROM A KENPO BACKGROUND?

Matt Page: My first style was Okinawan kenpo and kobudo. I received my first-degree black belt from Rich Pelletier in 1996. He was an amazing instructor and instilled discipline and structure in my life when I really needed it. His school was very traditional and gave me a strong foundation not only in martial arts as a way of self-defense but also in martial arts as a way of life.

After that I moved around a lot and sampled various arts: aikido, boxing, stick fighting, etc. Then I settled on American kenpo, studying under Tony and Erika Potter in Santa Fe at one of Jeff Speakman’s kenpo 5.0 schools. I’d always wanted to learn the kind of kenpo I’d seen in movies like The Perfect Weapon, so that was great fun.

More recently, I’ve been studying Brazilian jiu-jitsu. There are so many styles I’d like to study — hapkido, kung fu — but for some reason, I’m always drawn back to some form of kenpo.

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BLACK BELT: MASTER KEN, I KNOW YOUR BACKGROUND IS IN AMERI-DO-TE, BUT IN THE MAGAZINE, WE NORMALLY DON’T USE CAPITAL LETTERS WHEN WE WRITE THE NAMES OF MARTIAL ARTS. ARE YOU COOL WITH US SPELLING THE NAME OF YOUR ART “ameri-do-te,” OR IS THAT AN INSULT TO EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR?

Master Ken: I notice you don’t have a problem capitalizing Black Belt. How would you like it if I called you “black belt magazine”? It’s not only an insult; it weakens the word. The capitalization of not one, not two, but THREE letters in the name of my street-lethal fighting system lets people know how serious it is. Speaking of serious: By the authority vested in me as the creator of and 11th-degree black belt in the most dangerous martial art in the world — Ameri-Do-Te — I hereby demote you to white belt.

BLACK BELT: DID YOU LEARN ameri-do-te FROM A MASTER, OR DID YOU CREATE IT?

Master Ken: I wasted years of my life studying pretty much every combative system in the world. In kenpo, they’re always slapping themselves. For every time a kenpo guy hits his opponent, he hits himself three times — which is great because if you fight a kenpo black belt long enough, eventually he’ll kick his own ass.

In krav maga, they don’t even use the belt system. How are they supposed to know who’s more advanced? All they do is trade patches like a bunch of Girl Scouts.

Tai chi is a martial art designed specifically for sissies and old people. I once saw a tai chi instructor get beat up by a mime. He got thrown into an imaginary wall and choked with an invisible rope.

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Each time I learned a new martial art, I could see a few moves that worked — with my own special modifications, of course — but I also found flaws and weaknesses everywhere. My style takes the best parts of every other martial art in the world with none of the weaknesses. That’s why we like to say “Ameri-Do-Te: Best of All, Worst of None.”

BLACK BELT: DO YOU HAVE YOUR OWN KENPO SCHOOL?

Matt Page: I’ve never run my own school. I have helped teach kids’ classes and the occasional adult class at a few schools, but I’ve always thought of myself a perpetual student.

BLACK BELT: WHAT’S IT LIKE RUNNING THE SCHOOL THAT TEACHES THE MOST EFFECTIVE MARTIAL ART IN THE WORLD? ARE YOUR COMPETITORS JEALOUS? HOSTILE? HOW COME THEY’RE NOT ALL OUT OF BUSINESS?

Master Ken: The hardest part is getting people past the initial shock of how effective our style is. I get people who come in off the street and see us do our patented “groin sparring,” where the first student to grab the other student’s groin wins the match, and they just shake their heads and walk out. They’re too scared.

BLACK BELT: HOW DO YOU — AND MASTER KEN — COME UP WITH CONCEPTS LIKE “GROIN SPARRING”?

Matt Page: After high school, I moved to Southern California to become a movie star. Being so naive, of course, I struggled there. Each time I would move to a new neighborhood — which was often — I would go to the closest dojo and sign up for classes. One place had a method of training they called “groin sparring.” They said the groin was the only target that mattered in a street fight, so they didn’t focus on kicks or punches to other parts of the body. Whoever grabbed their opponent’s groin first won. Simple, right? But then for my first match, they made me fight a woman. That was just one of many bizarre experiences over the years.

BLACK BELT: WHERE DID THE NAME “ameri-do-te” COME FROM?

Master Ken: Most civilians think the word “karate” represents all martial arts. I believe that one day, my style of Ameri-Do-Te will replace all fighting systems, so I wanted it to sound similar but different. America has a great history of taking things created by other countries and improving them. Like Italian food. So I took the word “karate-do” and Americanized it to “Ameri-Do-Te.”

Also, having a martial art that begins with the letter “A” makes us first in the phone book.

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BLACK BELT: WHO ARE SOME OF THE REAL MARTIAL ARTISTS YOU LOOK UP TO?

Matt Page: There are so many. From famous martial artists whose films drove my interest in the entertainment business — Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, Jeff Speakman, Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee — to those whose books and interviews in magazines inspired me to keep training — like Ed Parker, Bill “Superfoot” Wallace and Royce Gracie. It’s been totally surreal to meet some of these people in person after admiring their work from afar all these years.

The biggest irony about Enter the Dojo is that I pick on the styles and people I love the most. I’ve said some crazy things about Van Damme and Seagal, but that’s because they were my favorite action stars growing up. And I’m always poking fun at kenpo because it’s the style I’ve dedicated so much of my life to. So if Master Ken takes the time to go after you or your style, it’s a sign of affection.

BLACK BELT: ARE THERE ANY MARTIAL ARTS OR MARTIAL ARTISTS YOU LOOK UP TO?

Master Ken: Asking me what other martial arts I look up to is like asking me to pick my favorite disease. I could tell which ones are worse than others, but I wouldn’t choose any of them.

BLACK BELT: HAS ANYONE EVER BEEN SO UPSET AT SOMETHING MASTER KEN SAID THAT HE — OR SHE — CHALLENGED YOU TO A FIGHT?

Matt Page: Not me personally, but Master Ken has received hundreds of challenges, as well as some death threats. Those come mainly from people who don’t realize he’s a fictional character. Most of those people soon realize we’re kidding, but there are still a few who choose to remain hurt or threatened by what Ken says. I do a live show, and even at my best performances, I get reports afterward of people who were offended and got up and walked out. But that’s OK — you can’t please everybody, I guess.

BLACK BELT: HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO DEFEND THE HONOR OF YOUR SCHOOL OR ART IN A FIGHT? HOW DID IT TURN OUT?

Master Ken: Are you kidding? People come in off the street and challenge me all the time. I offer them a chance to sign the waiver that releases me from any and all responsibility should they be killed. It’s a 400-page document. No one has gotten past the first 50 signatures. But when they do, they will have signed their own death warrant.

(To be continued.)

Photos by Cory Sorensen

BONUS: Master Ken on Fitness!

“If you want to work out, go for it. Aerobics classes masquerading as self-defense — like cardio kickboxing — waste valuable time on cardiovascular fitness. I focus on street-fighting fitness. It’s a scientific fact that the more often you experience moments of sheer terror, the bigger your adrenal glands get, which allows you to hold more testosterone than the average person.

“Ameri-Do-Te drills get your blood pumping with a surprise attack by multiple assailants — for example, while you’re using the dojo toilet. To avoid getting winded, the fight should be over as quickly as possible. If your fight lasts longer than it takes me to tie my belt, you’re not ready for the street.”

from Black Belt» Daily » Black Belt http://ift.tt/2lVd3mf via Michael Chin Worcester Systema