#I'll stop being annoying about this eventually dw

[guiltylovestar]

he's talking about apollo like oopsie almost forgot my employee who was injured in a courtroom bombing

[mtcorpse]

Biology is a fucked up entity that turns your own body against you no matter what you do. Some water would probably help with the headache, though, it's good to always keep a water bottle and painkillers in your room if you don't already. I'm glad you got to feel better for a little while. I might drink again today. I fight to win too. Drinking gives me some strength because it dulls the message of your body saying you're at your limit but hopefully when I fully start hrt I'll be even stronger. I hate being a lateshit

I also hate the fact that "transmasc butches" seem to fucking love it and get off too it. "I'm a genderfuck" you just look like an ugly, fat woman. What gives them any authority to know who's deserving of what? They're not even aware of their gender if they have no dysphoria. Half of them have fucking incest and feminization/breeding kinks anyways. That or they put no effort into looking like a guy, just an alt woman. And they're happy with their appearance?? I can't say anything because I'd probably pass even worse than they do since I didn't get access to t. They're always going to be happier than I am in their ignorance. Why do the nondysphoric/"barely dysphoric just no boobs but I love my boycunt" cucks get hrt sooner than the ones that actually need it? There's no end to the injustices. They're the ones that caused doctors not to take me seriously and gave me some stupid hope that I wouldn't have to blow all my money on diy because "you'll get hrt eventually, I did when I was 16! Doctors will give it to you eventually!" . Fuck them. Fuck them . Being hated by them is just proof you're able to criticize their fucking hypocrisy, wear it like a badge of fucking honour, they're fembrained annoying little shits trying to ruin your life while you should pay them no mind. Don't give them your energy, they're leeches. Scum.

That aside, I meant what I said about the whole "looking better than a hon" thing. I have nothing to gain from lying to you. I'm also glad you don't think the ideas I sent are too retarded, because you already have enough shit to put up with and I don't want to add to that if it's not to fight it out and let the pain make us feel more comfortable. I hope you feel better soon, even if the "cozy" state between soberness and drunkenness is also enjoyable. Anything to live through this ring of the inferno, yeah?

- 🫆

yee, biology & puberty are like dead space & hg giger body horror to me, suffocating & sickening it’s so “accepted” in cissoid society, also i always keep some pain killers around but i really should drink more water tbh, got up for drink but it was cold :(

here’s to drinking 🍻 and ngl id win (mostly kidding lol), but i getchu, kinda as being drunk just makes me act more “vulnerable” & fembrained or something so ig reverse, but the numbing is real, and you will i believe dw as you actually care about putting in effort to transition & being a man so T will almost definitely strengthen you more, even as lateshit i think youll do better than the fem poons who dgaf do

yeah no fr tho! i hate the “genderfuck” attention seeker shit so much! it’s just blatantly seeing trans people & being trans as some aesthetic fashion, especially the “transmascs” who dont even call themselves men & just use he pronouns sometimes, like what are they “rebelling” against? we all know lotta em just like attention but dont wanna lose the safety & privileges fem presenting plus obviously no dysphoria, the breeding & feminisation kinks they have too irritate me because they always overtake any & all posts related to ftm’s in kink & porn & emboldens the transphobic ideas ftm’s are just same as lesbians or tomboys etc, it’s frustrating & bullshit

im sorry 🫂 ik feeling :(( i stupidly waited an extra year too when stopped repping because diy fearmongering & state “care” propaganda from dumb hon & pooner fucks, still bitter even if wouldn’t make a difference to me, istg these fuckers ARE why we’re losing state care too & might lose access to all state hrt in future & clamp on diy, they’re the perfect propaganda against us & yet they’re so delusionally arrogantly happy & head in the clouds fucking bullshit as they burn down entire societal view of actual dysphoric trans people they screw over more while playing moral high ground over, bastards

ty, i do believe you are truthful, and tbh i would like the ideas mutually letting off pain & anger together as we both seem understand each others pain & rage better than anyone else, ill be fine dw start drinking again soon lol, indeed, anything to get through this hell before the next one where i take over the throne 🍻

i hope u feel better too anon, you are a cool guy & actually respectable ftm, you deserve better

[jungw8ns]

GOING TO AN ESCAPE ROOM WITH ENHYPEN !

PAIRING: boyfriend!enha x gn!reader. GENRE: established relationship, fluff, crack. WARNINGS: profanity (not that much tho), mentions of death (?). WORD COUNT: 100 - 200 each member.

HEESEUNG:

the two of you were so pumped playing an escape room together for the first time that the other people in line had to calm you guys down (which was trully embarrassing to say the least 🤐🤐)

he was looking at the ranking board filled with pictures of players that had succeeded in the shortest amount of time and he just wanted nothing more than to see both your faces on there

but anyways, we all know how competitive heeseung gets 🕴️

oh boy let me tell you, this guy WAS SPEEDRUNNING IT but not the kind you were thinking

the second the timer had started he was literally SPRINTING AROUND THE ROOM LOOKING FOR CLUES YET COMPLETELY MISSING THEM 🏃‍♂️💨💨💨

while he was busy running around, you were picking up the little details in the room and in no time managed to open a few locks

"y/n look i found– oh 😐😑😐"

HE WAS SULKING PLSSS 😭😭😭

when you noticed him standing from afar staring at you with his arms crossed, you called him to solve this one puzzle you already did

*gasps* "oh no! babe i don't understand how to do this, please help me 😔😔🤥🙏🙏"

he had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from letting out that cocky grin but it got out eventually

"oh it's so easy sweetheart, just put this here and then voila! 😉"

when the two of you escaped you suprisingly got to take a polaroid with him home after ranking 2nd in the records

heeseung was the one who held onto it tho, placing it underneath his clear phonecase for safekeeping <3

JAY:

GOD THIS DUDE

THE ESCAPE ROOM WASN'T EVEN THAT SCARY AND YET EVERYTIME YOU GUYS OPEN A LOCK OR A DOOR HIS FIGHT OR FLIGHT INSTINCTS COME UP 😭😭👊👊

"y/n stay behind me >:(("

"um, babe, you do realize that's just a door right?"

"WE'LL BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY?? THE STAFF COULD'VE PROGRAMMED IT TO GROW LEGS?? 😵🧐🧐"

you knew you shouldn't have played horror games with him a few nights ago cause he looked like he was about to lose his mind 😔

you had to shove his ass aside and move on to the next mission cause the both of you knew that he was stalling 🏌️‍♀️

jay was being extra clingy the whole time you were playing, he'd either link arms with you or hold hands (he's literally so adorable) 💞💞

BUT THEN YOU THOUGHT OF DOING A PRANK ON HIM

while you were roaming around the room trying to solve a puzzle, you saw this horse mask on a nearby table

and so you made sure jay was distracted and put on the mask

you could've NOT worn the dusty old thing but where was the fun in that?

"jay can you come here for a sec?"

you hid behind the wall beside the door frame waiting for him to come into your sight and attacked him

now, how about we guess what happens next?

a. he faints

b. he runs away

or c. he slaps you in the face and forces you to buy him food for the rest of the night

if you guessed c then YAY! YOU'RE CORRECT 🥳🎉🎉🎊

THIS HOE SLAPS YOU AS HE SHOULD

"$##/@+(+'£%(:?!!)&£**/*%@"

when he finally takes off the mask like those scenes in scooby doo he's never felt so betrayed in his life

"i- I TRUSTED YOU 😭😭😭 YOU BETTER BUY ME FOOD LATER, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, THE BETRAYAL???? LITERALLY UNPROVOKED?????"

he wouldn't stop side eyeing you until you guys finally pulled up on the mcdonalds drive thru

"hi, can i get two um– bts meals please? 😒😒 and two oreo mc flurries 🙄🙄 and also large fries 😐😐"

sane (1/3)

would be trailing behind you like a little puppy (i love him so much 😭😭😭)

he either has his arm linked with yours or held hands every five minutes

JAKE:

really focused on the puzzles he's doing but the second he hears you call out his name for help he's there beside you with the sweetest smile

but anyways, mans was POPPING OFF the entire time you were playing

he was solving problem after problem in no time (he wanted to impress you is why he activated his inner flash ⚡⚡) but he did let you play tho, the last thing he wanted to do was make you pissed at him for hogging all the games

def buried jake with compliments and forehead kisses right after ❤️__❤️

and so the two of you got out in like an hour and a few which you were very proud of

"you were so cool today babe, good job !!"

"aww thank you angel 😊😊"

sane (2/3)

SUNGHOON:

would be linking pinkies with you the whole time, only letting go whenever the both of you had to solve something that needed two or more people

there was this one game tho where he had to arm wrestle this literal hand lever to open the door to the last room (yea...don’t ask why, the staffs were pretty weird 😬😬) 

it made him enjoy the experience a bit more as it was only the two of you playing instead of getting accompanied by strangers

HGAWAHSGDHSGHDA PLSS THIS GUY

“oh this’ll be easy, y/n step aside, i’ll handle this 😏😏😏”

idk if you were supposed to think about how handsome he looked with his serious expression on and his veiny hands coming into frame or be worried for him because the lever was REAL HARD to pull that his veins looked like they were going to pop any second soon, you stepped in and helped him tho cause you were a good s/o <3

from a spectators point of view, the two of you looked like y’all were about shit your pants but the two of you eventually succeeded on beating it, immediately dragging him to the next room which had a sofa in it, laying down to catch your breaths

cliché moment ahead ⚠️⚠️

the two of you shared a few laughs before standing up on the empty space, held hands and started to jump in circles to celebrate your success 💃💃

yupp, y’all were never going back to that hellhole again

very stubborn at first, he wanted nothing to do with the game but then you held him at gunpoint by saying:

SUNOO:

"please just this once or else i'll revoke your mint choco ice cream rights 🔫🔫🔫"

"BUT IT'S SCARY IN THERE BABE :((("

"it won't be that scary sunshine, besides, i'll be ready to 🤜💥 yk?? trust me babe i would never let anyone hurt you <33"

kinda pissed since you blackmailed him into the place and also bc he wanted to play bumper cars and dance mania but he yea he caved in pretty quick 😋😋

(y/n let him play his games in peace tf >:(((( )

once you guys got in tho he realized how normal it was and that it was not terrifying at all

THE EPITOME OF CLINGY OMFG

he wouldn't stop back hugging you and you couldn't bring yourself to push him away to play the games so you just let him walk behind you with his arms on your shoulders 😩😩

(y'all were walking kinda funny but don't tell sunoo that 🤫🤫🤫)

yea the two of you ended up escaping with a whopping 2 hours and a few minutes

but it was the effort that counts so A+++++ for the both if you 😜👍👍👍

sane (3/3)

JUNGWON:

was the one who suggested going, he even searched on naver about really good escape room places to visit and was overall really looking forward it

he liked going to places and having fun with you so it wasn't a shock how his eyes were literally crescents and his dimples were so evident

yea he literally rushed the both of you to the place that you were the first in line 😵

while waiting for the staff to finish setting up he was playing with your connected hands like 🖐️✊🖐️✊ (so precious 💞💞)

"y/n why are you taking so long 😭😭 what if they close and we end up not solving a single lock, hurry up por favorrr 😩🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏"

when they finally lead you to the room he was kind of surprised that they had separated the two of you into different spaces (like the one with txt where they had the answers to the other member's puzzles yk???)

he was locked inside a telephone stand while you were handcuffed in the main room

dw the two of you reunited after a few minutes cause jungwon was rushing his lock to get to you 🤭

you both were progressing at an average pace and it made you guys a lot more closer (not that you guys weren't before but you get what i mean)

after you guys escaped the two of you went to eat curry and talked about the whole experience 😋✌️✌️✌️

this boy literally dragged you in the escape room with him

NIKI:

HE DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU TIME TO REFUSE HE JUST 😐👉🚪

"ok masterchefs, in order to test your abilities we must go through series of puzzles and make it out alive, understood?"

he tried ignoring how confused you were and went on to try and get you guys to escape

HE'S LAUGHING AT YOU FOR WHATEVER REASON AND OBV YOU LAUGH ASWELL CAUSE WHO WOULDN'T??? his laugh is so contagious pls 🤖🤖 he was so close to d wording cause he couldn't breathe from laughing too much

yea.. you guys spent so much time laughing at each other for being so dumb at this that you ended up playing 'till closing time

spoiler alert: he fails on doing anything cause the second you made eye contact with him this child collapses 😍🤩

GIRL SO EMBARRASSING 🤡🤡

THE STAFF KICKED THE BOTH OF YOU OUT AND NOW YOU GUYS WERE BANNED FROM THE PLACE ☠️☠️

"haunted house next weekend???"

"BET"

NOTE – god they were WAY funnier in my head but yeah.... i love them so much AND OMFG HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN HEESEUNG’S SELCAS LAST NIGHT???!?@??#?@?!?@ HE’S NOT REAL WTF ⁉️❓❓⁉️

also, idk why BUT EVERY TIME I SAVE A DRAFT the paragraphs get scrambled?? £!?) 6=6) 🤣😂💔💔🤣🤣😂💔 it's so annoying but anyways, ilysm pls stay safe and have a great day <33

[fastcardotmp3]

re that ask you answered about meta, when you lay down so many of the moving parts like that suddenly it's very obvious to me that i never stood a chance, i was always going to be obsessed with the masterpiece that it is.

one of my favorite literary tricks is when story is told -> detour to seemingly unrelated story -> detour's conclusion is gasp the overarching story's conclusion and makes them both land harder. and like, meta is this x1000, at all times you're juggling with 15 different things and they're all so unique and different but all the paths lead rome anyway, something like

1- you have to experiment to confront and learn who you are ( the physical appearance thing for el and eddie, nancy taking a break from college, eddie's unexpected love story with…a motorcycle lol, and oh yea that one little kas thing too) 2- then and only then you can start figuring out what's the best enrichment for your enclosure 3- there is no end in sight you just gotta keep working at it forever and ever. but dw it gets easier / you get better

this - and the medusa thing, but i'm touching on that, i'd have to write an actual entire essay. which, eventually i will, sorry. - is why i said i think your specialty is You Know What You're About btw

and the other thing is i tend to be Bad at getting symbolism if it's not broken down for me, and meta's such a smart fic it never dumbs itself down and it has so much going on, but it's like so sharply dileanated, or as you better put it, it says exactly what you want it to say, so even to me it managed to get all its messages across very loudly and clearly

so i'm reading that ask like YEA YEA i know exactly what you're talking about i did see all of those things, and you're right to talk about them they're all extremely exciting things!!!

well except maybe for the openings of chapter thing, considering that the first chapter's "ARE YOU LISTENING" succeeded in, i kid you not, scaring the ever loving shit out of me. i mean, that was still a kind of exciting, certainly. congratulation in making me spontaneously develop an existential fear @ big fonts i guess? love this for me. anyway you did amazing with this as with everything else, tyvm

hum, sorry for having lost my mind quite so hard in your inbox there. but please never stop talking about meta, i love everything about it and i could talk about it forever so PLEASE let me know when i get annoying lol

first of all don't EVER apologize for something like this I mean I can't speak for everyone (although I doubt any writers are gonna disagree with me on this) but for someone to not only engage with a fic in their head this much but to take the time to say it out loud in my direction??? I owe you my LIFE I'm BESIDE MYSELF.

this is so so so cool all around, and especially because I get to see you picking up on all the little things I'm never sure people are picking up on because I'm never sure if I'm being concise enough to get them across in my writing, so I am unbelievably grateful to hear that you think all my silly little symbolism actually plays

also I too am obsessed with stories that seem to go off the rails only for the rails to converge again later on into the same set of rails, it is so fun for me to attempt and it is just as fun to hear this!! in this fic especially it was such a joy to just light a bunch of shit on fire and learn to juggle it as I went because that's kinda what Eddie was doing too the poor guy, but we got through it together

basically you are entirely too kind and I'll never forget this and I am so grateful that you guys give me chances to talk about the stuff I'm proud of having created so thank you for all of it 💚🐍