#I'm HATING all of the Parkers except for Kai and Liv

[azurecanary]

So, I'm liking Season 6 of TVD, but their depiction of neurodivergency.... is not it. Which is not surprising, especially after the bipolar "rep" in TO with Aurora... but still disappointing.

[so-long-soldier-writes]

The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get

kai parker x bonnie bennett | requested

summary: bonnie just had to send her magic away in a teddy bear, consequently trapping herself in the prison world with only kai as company. and if that wasn't bad enough, the longer she spends with him, the less she starts to hate him. though it would be a cold day in hell before she ever admits that to his face...

tags: enemies to lovers, 1994 prison world, wet dreams, threats & violence (kai being kai), minor alcohol use, choking, kidnapping, arguments, making out, fingering, blowjobs, hair pulling, vaginal sex, hate sex (but they secretly like each other 😉 )

word count: 7.3k

n/a: kind of a bonnie pov, but not really. to the anon who requested it, i hope you like!! and sorry it took so long. also, i'm really bad at slow burn bc i'm impatient, so i hope i drew it out enough. and one more comment, i'm not sure if you wanted this much smut, but i read 'switch' in the request and my mind went wild. furthermore, if you want a part 2 with damon involved, since he was partially included in your request, i can do my best on that (psst i have ideas) ;)

It would’ve been easier to just do the stupid spell and deal with Kai back in the present world. She could’ve thought up a plan to trap and kill him with her friends’ help, instead of doing it by herself, eighteen years in the past. But no. When the second attempt to escape the prison world was made, Bonnie decided to send her magic away where she nor Kai could have it. And now they’re stuck there. Together. Forever. 

A big part of her curses herself for that decision. Her only chance, and she blew it to prevent him from gaining access to his remaining siblings. He’d kill them in a second if he found them, he’s promised that to her. Though at the same time, Bonnie knows his siblings. In fact, Liv pretended to not understand her magic just to gain Bonnie’s trust. She and Luke may stand a good chance against Kai if he were to escape. After all, he has no magic of his own, and has never been taught much of anything. So why didn’t she just let them return to 2013, and then they could all form a plan against Kai together? 

She puts her head in her hands, sighing. Upstairs, she can hear the shower running. A chance to run; to find new magic. Kai isn’t a vampire, he’s just a magic-less witch with a vengeance. Klaus was an original vampire with a vengeance, and Bonnie could take him. 

Curiosity, her brain supplies. 

Bonnie looks up, as if the voice had come from someone else in the room. 

Nope, she hears, just you.

There is no one else here. There is the boy in the shower, and there is her. No one to help; no one to hear her scream. No one to judge you, she hears again. She shakes her head. 

“No reason I’d be judged,” she replies out loud. She’s definitely going crazy. Talking to the voices in her head? And they are responding. 

Except for one, it says. Your curiosity. 

“The only curiosity I have is how I’m going to get out of here.”

Which is entirely your fault. You had an out; you sent it away. To protect Luke and Liv? They almost killed Elena. They can handle themselves. 

“Kai is different,” she mutters. 

Different, yes, But not in the way you’re thinking. Klaus was a monster, too. Damon, Stefan, Silas, Katherine, they were all killers. You’ve fought and won against them all at some point. But you don’t want to fight Kai. You don’t want to leave this prison world, because you don’t want to lose his company yet.

“Fucking insane.” She fills a glass of water and chugs it. Sleep deprivation is one hell of a mindfuck. 

You’re not sleep deprived, Bonnie. In fact, this prison world offers the best sleep you’ve had in years. Your nightmares have stopped, since your friends no longer burden you with all their problems.

“Stop.”

Might I say, you even have dreams now. Dreams of your mother, where you’ve thanked her for the peace. Dreams of simple mornings, of sipping coffee in silence. And let’s not forget the dreams of pleasure, focused on the only other person occupying this world. You don’t really want to leave, do you?

Bonnie slams her hand down on the table. “I said stop!” The voices hush at once, but the damage has already been done. 

She’s tried everything to forget that dream. It haunts her in all the best ways at the worst times. She bites her tongue so hard that it bleeds.

Wetness pools from her core as a dull sensation builds. She holds back a moan, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. 

“Come on, we’re the only two people here. No one can hear you. Let it out.”

Two weeks ago, that would’ve been a threat. Two weeks ago, the boy between her legs had his hands around her throat as he whispered menaces in her ear. Then, somehow, in the two weeks since Bonnie’s sent her magic away, a thread has snapped between the two. It started with a glare. Kai’s eyes burned into her from behind, but softened when hers met his own. He wanted to hate her; wished he could kill her, but he couldn’t do either. 

Bonnie had thoughts similar to his racing through her head. She numbed them with alcohol, and tried to not remember the feeling of his lips touching the lobe of her ear that one day in the car. But with every sip, her body heated up more, and when their fingers grazed as she passed him a glass, all hell broke loose. 

She kissed him first, and once he realized what was happening, he didn’t let her go. He pushed her up against the wall and let his hands explore her body. Pants of exhaustion tumbled from both their lips whenever they separated for a breath of air. It wasn’t long before they wanted more, though, and her hips were hoisted onto his waist. Kai then took her up to his bed and made himself comfortable between her legs. 

Pleasure flooded her body. Bonnie would’ve never have thought he would be as good with his tongue for anything else other than talking her ear off. Her hands pull at his hair as she comes close to her high. Way too quickly, she thought, but then again, it had been awhile since she’d been touched like that. 

“Come on, we’re the only two people here. No one can hear you. Let it out,” he was saying. 

But then Bonnie woke up suddenly to the clashing of pots and pans from the kitchen below. 

“Sorry!” Kai’s voice carried through the mansion. 

She slumped back on the bed, trying to remember the dream she was having. It was hot, like a summer day, but all the heat was trapped between two bodies. She was out of breath, and holding back a moan. A boy was in her bed, tangled in her sheets, lapping at her core. 

Her blood runs cold. 

Kai. 

She could picture it perfectly. Hands that have held her by the throat, and have gripped her arms so tightly they’ve bruised, were holding down her hips. The tongue that blabbers on and on was finally put to another use. 

Bonnie shook her head, disgusted in herself. She needed a shower, needed to change her sheets, needed a walk to clear her head. She pulled herself out of bed and grabbed the edge of the sheets to pull them off, when she noticed something else. 

A wet spot, right underneath where she had been laying. 

She hadn’t come yet in her dream, but the images were vivid enough that she did in her sleep. She swallows, unsure of herself. It’s hard to deny the fact that it felt good, and she craved it almost more than anything else, but never would she admit out loud that she had a wet dream of Kai Parker. And liked it. 

The memory ends, leaving Bonnie alone at the kitchen table. The shower is still running, indicating Kai was still upstairs. Upstairs, by his bedroom, bare. She cursed her head for the thought. No, she could not think of him like that. Kai was a monster, no different from Klaus. A dream is just a dream. It doesn’t mean anything. 

Still, the thoughts don’t leave her head. Biting her tongue doesn’t distract her from the memory, so she makes her way to Damon’s 1994 stash of liquor. Whiskey? No, whiskey is what she poured when Kai had asked for one too. Gin? No, gin reminds her of Liv, the girl she’s trying to protect by trapping herself down here with Kai. But rum? That’s safe. 

“Ooh, what are you drinking?” Comes his voice as she pours herself a glass. Of course. 

“Rum.”

“Tropical.”

“Do you want one or not?”

“Are you offering?” He stares into her eyes. Unable to hold his gaze, she drops her eyes down to the edge of his lip. There’s a cut in the left side that she always notices, and today, she decides to focus on it. “I’m kidding. Sure.”

Bonnie quickly brings her attention back to the glass and pours him one. Her breath hitches when she hands it to him. Their fingers touch ever so gently. 

“Y’know, I was wondering, what kind of shows do they have in 2013? Is Jerry Springer still on?”

Glad for the change in mood, Bonnie nods. “Yep, still a thing.”

“Huh. Do you watch it?”

“Not particularly. It’s kind of a ‘watch if it’s the only thing on’ kind of deal.”

“Ah. My mom used to put it on all the time. She would threaten to send my little siblings on there if they couldn’t work out their problems.”

Bonnie laughs before she can stop herself. Kai’s gaze snaps to her instantly, dimples forming on his cheeks as he smiles at the fact he made her laugh. A passing thought in her head mutters how cute they are, but then she comes to the realization of the thought. Not cute. Nothing about Kai is cute. 

“Did she ever threaten to put you on there?”

He takes a deep breath. “Mom and I never shared jokes like that. My version of it was my dad threatening to shut my mouth with tape.”

“Oh,” she replies, genuinely shocked. 

“That or withholding meals. Lock me in my room with a spell. Put a silencing spell so I couldn’t disturb them. And ignore me for days. Not like I was stupid enough to disturb them, because that would just make it worse, but he liked to use magic on me to remind me I didn’t have any. As if I could forget.”

Bonnie swallows hard. 

“Ooh, definitely sharing too much. Think I’m going to finish this glass of rum elsewhere. If you need me, BonBon, I’ll be in my room.”

She watches him leave in silence. 

Whiskey. Kisses. It was all a dream. 

Rum. Revelations. Now, she didn’t know what to think. 

As time passes, tensions increase. Bonnie tries to forget her dream and the tidbit of memory Kai had shared. Kai, on the other hand, tries to forget he overshared, while ignoring the dull ache in his heart to get closer to her. In a few days’ time, so much energy is put into their mutual need to ignore each other that they almost forget the task at hand. 

That is, until Kai comes to a conclusion on which he needs Bonnie’s opinion. The girl sending her magic away suddenly reminded him of his sister doing the same. So, somewhere on the property of his childhood home, there may be magic stored. His heart leaps with the hope of getting out of the prison world, and he quickly maps out a plan to get to Portland.

Though before he can go anywhere, he needs to convince the girl to go with him. Let’s rephrase that, he needs to make his hometown appealing enough to get Bonnie to come with him in his retrieval of Jo’s magic. Then he needs, for a third time, to try to convince Bonnie to let them go home. 

Because, truth be told, Kai would hate to leave the girl here alone. He knows what it’s like to spend every day in solitude for years, and even with his lack of empathy, can’t do that to her. Besides, it would be a lie if he said he hadn’t come to like her just a little. Her company is nice, and she’s undeniably pretty. Pretty badass, too, which turns him on more than he’d like to admit. 

So, one day as she’s coming back from the supermarket, he approaches her with the topic.

“We need to leave Mystic Falls.”

Bonnie turns from the cabinet to face him, nose crinkled in disgust. “Why? We’re fine here. Where would we even go?”

“Doesn’t matter where, but I thought of a place where we could find magic. Since y’know, you put yours away in a bear.”

“Yeah, I did that so you couldn’t get out. Why would I go with you to get more?”

Kai crosses the kitchen to close the distance between them. He could reach out and touch her now. “Because we both want out of here, Bonnie. Don’t tell me you like it here.”

“Of course I don’t. But you out would be hell on earth. I’m trying to prevent another mass murder.”

His eyes darken. “I told you, I’ve changed. I-”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Then what do you expect to do for the rest of your life locked up in here? Are you really going to sacrifice your own happiness to keep me here? Because I’ll find a way out. I’ll find a way out, and I will leave you here if I have to.”

“You need me for the spell. You’re not going anywhere.”

“What makes you think I won’t just steal your blood, memorize the spell, and get out? If you want to see your friends again, it’ll be with me.”

“I’d rather die than let that happen. It’s not your lack of magic that makes you an abomination, Kai, it’s you.”

The last comment pushes him too far. Bonnie realizes it the moment it leaves her lips. In an instant, his hands are around her throat, tightening just enough to render her unconscious. The girl grips his wrists, but feels her hold weakening.

“Kai,” she begs, “let me go.”

“Say you’ll go with me.”

“No.”

“Say it!”

“I won’t let you out!”

“I didn’t want to do this,” he warns. Before she can question him, darkness starts to cloud her vision. In a matter of seconds, her body goes limp. 

⁕⁕⁕⁕

The next time Bonnie wakes up, she realizes the ground beneath her is moving. Though as soon as it hits her that she’s in the trunk of a car, the car comes to a halt. Bonnie hears the ignition turn off and the door shut before coming in direct contact with the sun. She squints, but then the view is blocked by Kai smiling down at her. 

“Morning, sunshine. Well, evening, actually.”

“What did you do to me?”

“Relax. You just took a little nap for our flight.”

“Flight? Where are we, Kai?”

“Portland.”

She cringes, “why?”

“It’s where we’re gonna find magic.”

“And why exactly would-”

“It’s where I grew up. I would’ve let you sit in the passenger seat for the trip here, but since you refused to go, I needed to resort to more forceful methods.”

Bonnie rolls her eyes. “As if I’d willingly go with you. Also, I told you. I am not helping you get any more magic.”

“We’ll see about that, BonBon. For now,” he takes a couple steps towards his house, “come on. I’m cooking you dinner.”

“You’re not bribing me to help you,” she says, following him anyway. 

“Not a bribe, Bonnie, I just thought you’d be hungry.” At the same time, her stomach growls, betraying her. Kai smiles. “See?”

The girl just rolls her eyes a second time and goes inside the house.

As it turns out, Kai isn’t a bad cook. In fact, he’s really good. Not like Bonnie would ever admit that, though. She didn’t want to eat his food, but the hunger soon overtakes her pride and she gives into it. To her shock and thankfulness, Kai doesn’t comment on this decision. He lets her eat in peace while enjoying his own plate. 

“So,” she starts, halfway through her meal, “what’s your plan after bringing me all the way out here?”

Kai swirls wine in a glass and takes a sip before answering. “Find Jo’s magic. Steal it. Go home. Thought that was obvious.”

“And where exactly is her magic being stored?”

“Not sure, I’ll have to find it.”

“Well you can have a fun time doing that. I’m leaving after this.”

The boy tenses. “No you’re not. You’re going to get us out of here the minute I find it.”

She laughs in disbelief. “We’re still having this conversation? Get it through your head, Kai, I am not letting you out of here. I don’t care if you cook for me, I don’t care what you do, you’re staying in this damn prison world.”

Suddenly, he grabs her wrist. His grip is tight, knuckles going white. Bonnie jumps in her seat. 

“Ouch! That hurts, Kai. Let go of me!”

“You’re not leaving this house until we find my sister’s magic.”

“Let go of my arm!”

He loosens his grip, but doesn’t let go completely. Bonnie stares down at his fingers curled around her. The cool metal of his rings contrasts his flushed skin. Her mind starts to wander… 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he says slowly, “but I will if you keep refusing to help me. The only person you’re hurting is yourself.”

Her mind is snapped from its dark place. “Here’s an idea: I’ll help you find Jo’s knife, and then we go our separate ways.”

“That doesn’t make sense, I need your blood for the spell. The knife is no good if I don’t have you.”

“Too bad. Guess you’ll have to find me.”

According to Kai’s mind numbing ranting while Damon was still here, the prison world is exactly like the real world, except it’s a dimension frozen in time. But if Bonnie can escape, she can go to any state, any country, and Kai would have to find her. Sure, he could do a locator spell, but he’ll run out of siphoned magic quickly and won’t have any more. It’s a perfect plan, she thinks, to escape him and his demands to be freed. 

Besides, Bonnie has a feeling he’ll love the hunt. There’s no way he’d deny this. 

Kai seems to consider this. “Fine. We find the knife, and I’ll let you go.”

“Good.” Proud of herself, she stabs a piece of meat on her fork and eats it happily. She misses the storm clouds coming into his eyes. He doesn’t eat anymore after that.

At the end of dinner, both make their beds in separate areas of the house. Bonnie takes to Jo’s old room and Kai curls up on the couch. Just before she retreats to go to sleep, the boy stops her in her tracks. He corners her up against the wall, close enough that his breath hits her neck. 

“Just so you know, I’m a light sleeper. If I hear you trying to break our deal and escape, you’ll regret it.”

Bonnie returns him a stone cold expression. “Figures. But I won’t.” She holds her breath in the presence of his. 

“See you in the morning, BonBon.”

⁕⁕⁕⁕

Three days go by of the two searching the huge house for Jo’s knife. It is a cause that seems lost to Bonnie, yet she knows Kai won’t give up until he has magic again. So, she continues to look. Besides, if she goes to Kai about it, he’ll grab her again, and she would really like to avoid another close confrontation with him. 

It’s too much risk to piss him off. He gets too close; too physical. And Bonnie should be afraid when he’s like this, but the more and more that it happens, she finds herself sweating in anticipation. The dark parts of her mind rise back to the surface. Memories of her dream, of his hands on her body, and his head between her legs, play on repeat. She wonders if it will always be a dream, or if one of these days, they’ll give into their mutual need. 

No. It’s just a dream, she reminds herself. And Kai doesn’t need anything, except apparently an escape from this place. Still… she can’t help the thought. To not touch another person for twenty years? I wonder if he’s ever-

“Any luck?” 

For once in her life, Bonnie’s grateful to hear Kai’s voice cut through her thoughts. 

“No,” she replies, “no luck in three days.”

“It’s here. I know it is. Jo didn’t have any magic when we tried to merge. She stashed it somewhere.”

“Maybe she took it back after you were gone.”

Kai thinks about this, but then shakes his head. “She wouldn’t have. She’s probably never touched it again.”

“Maybe your father hid it somewhere. Does this place have an attic? Or a basement?”

“Both, yeah.”

“You take one, I’ll take the other.” Bonnie puts a finger up to his face. “But don’t even consider locking me in there.”

“Promise I won’t. You can trust me.” He winks.

She glares at him. “Hard to believe that.”

But to their dismay, an entire day of searching both turns up nothing. Bonnie returns to Jo’s room once again. 

That night, her thoughts from earlier in the day come back to haunt. 

In her dream, she’s in her room while Kai’s in his. Her fingers ghost over her body as she eases herself into a mood. It’s not like there’s much to do in the prison world, so as long as she’s quiet, he’ll never know. 

However, she barely touches herself before a groan carries from down the hall. Curious, Bonnie rises from her bed and makes her way to the only other occupied room. Her eyes go wide at the sight beyond the door. There is Kai, eyes squeezed shut and hips working against a pillow. He’s on his bed, no mind paid to the crack through the door. 

Somehow, the siphon doesn’t realize her presence. He must be too close to hear anything else. 

The thought alone makes her body warm. Bonnie’s hand then finds its way under her pajama pants. A sigh escapes her slightly parted lips. It still doesn’t disrupt Kai from his own feat. 

For a short time, she watches him while touching herself. She watches how he speeds up, then slows back down; how he sometimes lets out little pants, but at other times, full-blown moans. 

“Kai,” she finds herself whispering. “Oh.”

He doesn’t stop. Not until he reaches his high and comes down from it. As he surveys his bed for the mess he’s made, his eyes snap up to the girl peeking through his door. In an instant, his face turns pink with embarrassment. Kai Parker embarrassed. It makes Bonnie come on the spot. 

“What are you-?”

“Let’s not talk about this,” she breathes out heavily. 

“But-”

Bonnie wakes up in a cold sweat, panting, and feeling out of place. Her eyes dart around the room before she realizes she’s still in her bedroom. Well, Jo’s bedroom, in Portland, in 1994. She sighs, feeling disgusted in herself once again. She needs to get away from Kai. Needs to stop having these dreams; needs to stop secretly wanting him. It all needs to stop. 

Slowly, she rises from her bed to fetch a coffee. Coffee makes everything better. It’ll clear her mind and wake her up so she can continue looking for that stupid knife. Find the knife, and she can get away from him. Just find the stupid knife. 

When she gets downstairs, though, Kai’s already in the kitchen. 

“Morning,” he greets, voice gravelly. If she has to hear his morning voice one more time, she’s going to lose it. “Sleep well?”

“Fine. You?”

“Only fine?”

“I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“Hm. For some reason it sounded much better from where I was.”

“What?”

“Did you dream well?”

“No. In fact, I’ve only had nightmares since arriving in this hell.”

“Odd. ‘Cause I could’ve sworn I heard otherwise this morning.”

“Maybe you just heard yourself.” Her heartbeat quickens, and Bonnie thanks the highest power alive that Kai’s not a vampire. 

“Maybe. But I’m pretty sure it was you. Pretty sure I don’t moan my own name.”

Her blood runs cold. “I didn’t-”

Kai stares at her and her words falter. “Is someone else here, then? Don’t think that’d be from the ghosts of my siblings. Only people here are you and me.”

Kai mentioning his siblings almost kills her mood, but his look revives it just as fast. Straightening, she fakes confidence. “You made me have that dream. Manipulated it.”

The boy chuckles, “I literally have no magic, Bonnie. That’s why we’re here, actually, if you don’t remember. I have no magic to manipulate your dreams. You thought of me all on your own.”

“I-” she stammers, “you-” she takes a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter. I still hate you. I will never like you, and nothing like that will ever happen. I’m just… tired of being in here.”

A flash of hurt crosses his eyes, but he blinks it away quickly. “Whatever. I’m going to check the basement again, in case you didn’t look hard enough yesterday.”

Bonnie didn’t miss the look, but she doesn’t understand why he would have it. He hates her just as much as she hates him. She scoffs at his comment, then disappears to the attic. If he asks, she’ll just retort that he didn’t look hard enough, either. 

⁕⁕⁕⁕

Days pass the same as they have been. Though if it’s even possible, the two ignore each other even more. They stay on opposite sides of the house and only come in the same room for dinner. Kai cooks each night, for which she’s thankful, but refuses to actually thank him. Part of her is still pissed about him bringing up the dream, making her a little embarrassed every time she remembers the conversation. 

You’re the one that moaned his name, the voice in her head says, you can’t be mad at him for bringing it up. 

Shut up, she replies to it, it's common decency not to talk about that stuff.

The voice begs to differ. It argues that the rules are different when you’re the only two people in an entire world. 

⁕⁕⁕⁕

Bonnie’s growing restless each second that they can’t find the knife. She’s growing comfortable around Kai, and she hates the thought. The boy has been cooking for her, giving her space, and hasn’t threatened her ever since she backed off of him. Another couple months, and maybe they could have a Damon-level of banter between them. Wait…

Hell. No. 

She will not be in Portland in a couple months. She’ll be far from Kai Parker and his crazy childhood home. She will not spend every day of her miserable time in the prison world wondering where he is, or what he’s doing. She will be far away, relaxing on a beach somewhere, while he angrily tries to find her. 

That was the plan. That will continue to be the plan. That is-

“Bonnie!”

The girl scoffs. Will she ever have a train of thought that he doesn’t interrupt? “What?”

“I found it!”

Excitement shoots through her spine. She stands from her spot on the floor and follows his voice to the kitchen. There, on the table, is Jo’s knife. Rusty, but still sharp. 

“Where-?”

“Outside. Y’know, I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before, but Jo had run outside after sending the twins out, and I guess she stashed the knife somewhere there. Turns out, it was in that old tree stump in the yard. Huh.”

Bonnie stares at it for a second. “So you have your knife. I can go now.”

Kai bites his lip. 

“We had a deal.”

“You really don’t want to live here alone, Bonnie, I-”

The girl picks up the knife and points it at him in an instant. “We had a deal. You let me go. Right. Now.”

“Bonnie-” he reaches for her, but she blocks him with the blade.

“I’m serious.”

“Put it down.”

“No.”

“Fine. Put it down, and you can go.”

“I don’t trust you!”

Kai takes a step forward. Bonnie doesn’t move the knife, pointed back at his stomach, even as he makes another step.

“I promise, you can go. I just… I know what it’s like here, being all alone, and I don’t want you to go through that.”

“You don’t care about me. You don’t care about anyone.”

“I do care, Bon,” he whispers, “I care enough that I don’t want you feeling the way I have for eighteen years. It’s fun the first few, when you get to travel and see everything, but then it hits you that you’re never going home. You’ll never see another person again. You’ll lose hope, and you’ll lose the will to live, but you can’t die. I’ve been there. I’m trying to help you.”

“I don’t want your help. Being alone is better than letting you out.”

“Please don’t go.” He takes another step toward her. The tip of the blade makes contact with his shirt. “I promise I won't hurt you, just don’t go. I don’t want to be alone anymore, and you don’t want to know what it’s like to be here alone.”

“I hate you,” she spits, pressing the knife into him until it hits his skin. 

“I know. You should. I haven’t given you a reason to like me. But I’m begging you. Don’t go.”

“I give you this knife, and you let me go. Don’t stab me in the back, don’t keep begging.”

Kai swallows hard. “Okay.”

Slowly, she hands it to him. Bonnie watches as he puts it on the table. She’s surprised. She expected him to immediately stab her or siphon from it. Instead, he just watches her take a step backward, then another. Then-

“Bonnie-”

“No.”

He shuts his mouth. Clouds return to his eyes. Baby blues darken as a storm approaches. He won’t cry; Kai hasn’t cried since he was seven, but he will feel the stinging pain in his stomach at the loss of her company. The dryness at the back of his throat when the hopelessness returns. 

Bonnie makes her way out the door without another peep from him. She stands on the porch, waiting to see if he’ll come out, but after a minute, there’s nothing. The girl sighs in relief as she takes in the feeling of being free. 

Free.

Free from his threats, his tight grip, his anger. Free from the heavy weight of his crimes; crimes he’ll acknowledge but won’t feel bad for committing. Free from his stupid jokes and the winks he always gives her. Free from his cooking and his company. She’ll be alone. Completely, utterly alone. 

She gulps at the thought. 

Kai, meanwhile, stares at the knife before him. It’s technically his knife, the one he used to stab Jo in the first place, but then Jo put her magic in it, and it became known as his sister’s knife. Kai picks up the blade, feeling it in his hands, and siphons just a little bit to feel its strength. He revels in the energy it gives him. The last time he felt that strong was when he took Bonnie’s magic to show her his ability. 

Bonnie, who just walked out the door to spend an eternity alone, rather than be with him. 

Bonnie, who just slammed the front door. 

“I hate you!” She yells from the foyer. 

“I didn’t say anything!” Kai defends himself. 

The girl stomps back into the kitchen, face unreadable. “Yeah, but I heard you breathing. All I’ve heard all day, all week, all month, is the sound of you breathing. That, or you talking. Talking, or cooking. That is all you do, and I hate it!”

Kai stares at her. Whatever mixed emotions she’s feeling, he doesn’t understand any of them. “Um-”

“I just want to be alone, just leave me alone! Actually, no, I don’t want to be alone, because this prison world is a hell, and I will go crazy if I am alone. But, as it turns out, you’re my only company. And I’m sick of it, and I’m sick of hearing your breathing, and seeing those stupid rings on your fingers, and hearing your voice in the morning when you’ve just woken up. And I’m sick of your cooking, and your dedication to it, and how it’s actually good. Oh! And I’m also sick of having these stupid dreams about you, too. I don’t know why my brain won’t think of anyone else at three in the morning, but I’ve lost sleep over not wanting to dream, so I haven’t slept in a couple of days, and maybe that’s why I’m at my breaking point right now! Because I don’t want to sleep, because I don’t want you creeping in my dreams. I hate you, Kai, I’m running out of words to describe it.”

“So-, why-, um-” the boy doesn’t have any words, either. “So, uh, why are you still here?”

“Because I need to get my anger out, and you’re the only other person here.”

“Okay?”

Kai expects Bonnie to hit him. A punch to the stomach or a slap to the face, either one, he anticipates. What he did not expect was for her to kiss him. 

But in fact, when the girl storms up to stand a mere inch from his face, she grabs his cheeks and kisses him. 

“You are so annoying,” she mutters, staring up at him. “I need you.”

This time, when she kisses him, he kisses her right back. Bonnie doesn’t fight him. Instead, she grabs the back of his neck to pull him closer, presses her body to his, and deepens it. Kai’s hands then find her waist before he backs her up to the nearest wall. Just like in her first dream, he lifts her legs up to wrap around his, to which she complies immediately. In their new position, her pelvis is level with his hardening cock, and with every push of his body against hers, she feels his excitement. 

“Kai,” she whispers his name. He recognizes the tone as the one she whispers in her sleep. 

“Hm?”

“More.” She runs a hand through his hair roughly. “Take me. Please.”

Those words are all he needs to lay her down on the nearest couch. As soon as her head hits the pillow, he’s stripping her of her clothes. Bonnie tears his shirt off his head, then begins to fumble with his belt.

“How many times have you dreamed of this, BonBon?”

She’s too needy to lie. “I’ve lost count.”

A smirk crosses the boy’s face, though it’s quickly replaced by something she’d never thought she’d see on him: empathy. 

“I’ll take care of you, Bon. You’re good with me.” Kai wastes no time wetting his fingers with his tongue, then putting them on her clit. Bonnie’s back arches, and he supports her by slipping a hand underneath immediately. Their lips reconnect in a heated kiss. 

As soon as she gets his pants undone, she makes a grab for his visible bulge. Kai being Kai, though, smacks her hand away. 

“Not yet, princess. I’m still focused on you.” He distracts her by pushing his fingers into her core, pumping them in and out, and smirking at the squelching noises it makes. Bonnie moans, knowing she’s close to coming. Just like in her dream, again, it didn’t take long for her to reach her high. Kai fingers her throughout her orgasm, not relenting until her legs are shaking. He helps her onto her knees when she’s stable, and finally, does he then let her pull down his boxers. 

“Kai.”

“Hm?”

“Stand,” she points to the side of the couch, “here.”

“Dominant, are we?

She gives him a glare. It’s playful, yet he knows she means business. That’s okay - Kai can work with both. He’s mostly dominant, but if he’s comfortable enough, he’ll gladly submit to her. Right now, he’s not willing to fully submit, but he’ll give into the girl’s demands a little if it’s what she needs. 

The moment Kai stands where he was asked, Bonnie’s hands are gripping his cock. He lets out a moan at the feeling, and his hips involuntarily jerk forward. Bonnie keeps him where she wants him, though. Once he’s under her control, she puts her mouth on him. Her head bobs, taking his length deeper and deeper each time, until she can glide her lips smoothly along. Obscene grunts tumble from Kai’s lips. His hands bury in her hair, pulling at the roots. Bonnie doesn’t seem to mind, and in fact, her grip on his hips tightens so she can work better. 

“Bon,” he stammers, “you’re- I’m-”

She stops as he speaks. No way is he coming before he fucks her. Kai catches on immediately, pushing her back onto the couch, and then crawling up her body. He aligns himself before pushing in slowly, filling her completely and comfortably in no time. He’s much gentler than Bonnie anticipated, but she’s not complaining. Though she bets he’s very capable of angry sex, as seen by his several meltdowns over the months. If she ever gets him in one of those moments, she’d surely be covered in love bites and bruises by the end. 

Kai finds a good pace quickly, as indicated by Bonnie’s moans of pleasure. His hands grip her wrists, pinning her to the couch, while he leaves a trail of kisses along her neck. At first, the girl tries to fight for some control, but soon surrenders to the more dominant boy. 

He clicks his tongue, cooing at her, promising he’ll take care of her. 

A month ago, being under him like this would’ve been terrifying. But in their time together, she’s come to desire him a lot more than she wants to admit. 

And seemingly, Kai feels the same way. 

It isn’t long before she feels another high coming on - this one even more powerful than the last. With her bottom lip in between his teeth, and his cock buried deep enough inside her to form a bulge, her orgasm draws nearer by the second. Her breaths get shallow and she whimpers his name, pleading for release. Kai’s hold on her wrists loosen, as does the pace on his thrusts. He’s close, too. 

More thrusts and moans finally tumble from the girl’s lips. She’s cracked first, but the feeling of her body convulsing at its climax tips him off the edge. He spills inside her before he can even consider pulling out, but neither care about that right now. The feelings of pleasure are overwhelming, after months, and for him, years, of not touching another person so intimately. 

Their bodies meld together as he collapses on top of her. Her hands fly to his hair, twirling the ends between her fingertips, not wanting their moment to end. As soon as Kai regains his strength, he sits up so as to not crush her. 

“Do you still hate me?” He asks, a tint of hopefulness in his voice that maybe she doesn’t.

“Yes.” His eyes fall to the floor. “But maybe there’s hope for you yet.”

Bonnie’s conflicted. She tells herself she still hates him, but deep down, knows she’s lying.

The two of them catch their breath for a while on that couch. Eventually, their clothes find their way back on their bodies, but they don’t leave each other’s companies just yet. 

“Was that how your dream went?” He teases suddenly.

“No, actually, we never… the first time, you were getting there, but then actual you - not dream you - woke me up by dropping a pan in the kitchen.”

“Sorry-”

“And then another time, it was me eavesdropping your own private moment. Sorry about that. Others were shorter, with less time for mind wandering, but we never actually went all the way.”

His blue eyes meet her intensely. “Do you regret this?”

“No. We both needed it. We were driving each other crazy. Do you?”

“How could I? I’ve been curious about you since the day you and Damon got here.”

Bonnie looks at him, then at her hands in her lap. She isn’t sure how to reply to that. 

Silence then befalls them once again. Dinner is quiet, few words are shared. There’s no mention of their moment again, but she can tell by his gaze that he’s fighting the urge to bring it up. She wonders what he would say, yet doesn’t prompt him to share. 

⁕⁕⁕⁕

When she wakes up the next morning, Kai is already awake. The boy is at the kitchen table, fiddling with Jo’s knife in one hand and the ascendant in the other. 

“What are you doing?” She asks, startling him. 

“Just thinking.”

“You still want to go back after our time yesterday? We won’t be the only two people here anymore. I might never talk to you again.”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re leaving anyway. You said it yourself, you want to disappear to one end of the earth, and if I want out, I’ll have to find you. And though having to hunt you down would’ve been fun a couple years ago, I’m tired of being here. At least if I get out, I won’t be alone.”

For a minute, Bonnie considers taunting him. Telling him he’d be alone anyway, because no one in their right mind would want anything to do with him. But then his fingers glide along the edge of the blade. The same fingers that were buried inside her yesterday. The silver rings adorning them that match the lethal weapon. She sighs internally. Bonnie doesn’t want to be stuck in the prison world anymore than Kai does. Certainly, she doesn’t want to roam it alone. 

Yesterday did something to her. The way he begged her not to leave. Promised her she would hate being alone, and urged her to stay with him. At the time, she thought being alone would be better than being with him. But then she kissed him. She kissed him, and he kissed back, and then he pleasured her and cared for her in ways she thought could only be dreams. Now she doesn’t know what to think about him. Her thoughts are jumbled, mind is confused, and heart is burdened. 

You don’t hate him, that damn voice returns, in fact, you kinda actually like him. 

“You are… leaving, right?” Kai asks in response to her silence. 

The girl straightens. “I am. I’ve had enough of this prison world, and frankly, this house, and I need to get away from it.”

Kai looks up at the walls of his childhood home. He agrees to hating the house, but he has no clue where he’ll go next. 

Bonnie, on the other hand, seems to know exactly where she’s going. She marches towards the front door, hand on the knob. Kai stares after her, questions on the edge of his tongue, but nothing coming off it. 

“Aren’t you coming with me?”

He stands from his seat, confused, but follows her nonetheless. “Where are we going?”

“Home.”

“You’re gonna go back to Mystic Falls?” If Bonnie’s starting her escape now, why is she telling Kai where she’s going?

“Eventually. But hurry, or we’ll miss the eclipse.”

Her words take three whole seconds to sink in before the reality of the situation hits him. They’re going home. Truly home. Back to the present age - whatever that looks like. 

So, with Jo’s knife strapped to his boot and the ascendant in his pocket, Kai follows Bonnie to the site beneath the eclipse. The clearing of trees he remembers all too well from eighteen years ago stand overhead. For a mere second, Kai wonders if it’s a trap. His eyes search hers, but he only finds a fierce determination.

“Aren’t you going to siphon that?”

His eyebrows furrow, but he does when she prompts him. “What changed your mind about letting me out?”

“For some reason, I’ve decided to trust you.” She cuts her palm. “Don’t betray it.”

“So you don’t hate me?”

“Not exactly.”

She gives him a small smile, which he returns. Then, hand-in-hand, they chant until a brightness surrounds them, and they are on their way home.

[callmelynx]

Bonkai is not a crime!

Let's start at the very beginning. Really at the very beginning - in the 1800s.

The heretics Lilian Salvatore adopted - Nora, Mary Louise and Valerie, to be precise - are outcast members of the Gemini Coven. They were cast out only because they lacked the ability to create magic themselves and were born siphoners.

So did Malachai Parker.

His father was also someone to whom the coven and its rules were more important than the love for his children - a fact which we know not only from Kai, but also from the descriptions of Liv and Luke.

Joshua Parker disregarded and abused his young son. Joshua acted like he could blame it on Kai not being a witcher. He was downgraded, isolated and treated like no kid ever should be.

Even as a child, Kai knew that he was not only loved and not even accepted by his family, but also by his circle. Because of a quality that he never had any control over.

In addition, Kai realized very early that everyone hopes that Josette will win the merge. That implies that Kai knew he was living to die for Josette. Imagine what it does to someone to grow up knowing that everyone wants you to be no older than 22?

It is said that twins have a special bond with one another. So let's briefly dedicate ourselves to Josette.

She calls Kai a "parasite" over and over again and out of complete conviction, which is much more than a insult. After all, she could call him other names ... But back to the parasite. The term parasite or parasite does not identify a specific group of animals, but characterizes a particular way of life. ... In contrast to this, the parasite can use its "host" several times to obtain food, and "tap" it again and again.

By definition, this tapping is characteristic. The siphoner taps magic. So Josette also reprimands Kai for something that he cannot change. We can assume that Josette hated Kai long before the Portland massacre and not just since.

For everyone in his family and even the coven, Kai was the black sheep nobody wanted

He was also banished to isolation, which is worse than "just" dying. The Gemini banished Kai to continue his old life, abandoned and lonely. Loneliness is the worst of all punishments.

I know Kai did bad things.

But we are at TVD. Everyone does bad things. There is no character without blood on their hands.

Kai's decision to kill his family, Jo and the coven is somehow understandable. It's a consequence of his past, of everything that was done to Kai.

Take Kol, Damon or (Ripper-) Stefan as a counterexample. Each of them has killed more people for far fewer reasons and no one has a problem forgiving these horrific acts.

Don't get me wrong. I love Damon. But he killed a pregnant woman; Jeremy, only because Elena refused to kiss him. Stefan wipes out entire villages. He becomes a ripper several times, despite knowing the consequences. Do you know the quote: once is a mistake, twice is a decision? Just sayin '

Each of these deaths is caused by far less than the deaths that are Kai's responsibility. But nobody has a problem looking over it because of ...

... guilt and remorse.

Things Kai Parker doesn't know because he's a sociopath. It would be correct to say that he was a sociopath. By merging with Luke, he absorbed the abilities for the rest of his life. To say that the big difference lies in the insight into guilt does not count (anymore).

Where we finally got to Bonkai.

Yes, Kai was cruel to Bonnie.

But without Kai's help on Bonnie's birthday, Bonnie would be stuck in the prison world while I am typing this novel.

Kai was half dead, had no advantage in freeing Bonnie and still risked his life to send Jeremy to Bonnie and saved her.

Kai put Bonnie above himself, which means that Bonnie (probably as the only one) could have reach out to him to show him a world that is not determined by hate. Like Elena did with Damon or Davina with Kol.

Kai was definitely ready to go beyond his limits for Bonnie.

That's why I don't find Bonkai as terrible as the fandom mostly reacts to this shipping.

Just because Julie Plec didn't want Bonkai doesn't make it a

Personally, I don't think Bonnie and Kai have to get together. Too happened between them - even for my taste, but they could figure things out and at least became friends.

Every character got their second chance except Kai.

Thanks for reading.

I'm out.