#I'm just tired and overheated and glad to finally get my lunch break | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pbandjesse · 2 years

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Why do I feel like ants are walking on me?? Very itchy. My allergies have been kicking off really bad tonight. But it was not a bad day at all. It was just stupid hot. I was damp all day. But it's fine. I am in the ac now and doing a lot better.

I did have a fun day though! I slept pretty well and didn't toss and turn as much. I got up and got dressed. I felt very cute. I wore my long black skirt today because I thought I could like. Fan myself? But mostly it felt like to much fabric. But I would be okay.

I said goodbye to James and went to get breakfast. Which took almost a half hour. So I am glad I left early.

I got to camp and stopped up by the ground elements area to make sure things were set up and this is when I realized how heavy the air was. I almost thought it might rain but it was just heavy and hot and horrible. Ugh.

And it didn't help that we had to keep walking to the lodge to pick up and drop off our groups. So I had to walk across camp like. 7 times. I was so overheated every time we got up to my program. It sucked.

But thankfully the groups were great. I drove my car down and had a weird thing happen with my parking break and reverse switching?? But I figured it out and parked by the office. I did have to walk back up to the tipi feild to meet with Zay so he could help me set up low ropes. And that was fine with me. And because it worked out Chloe was able to give us all a ride down to the lodge to get our groups. Thank you Chloe!!

And like I said the groups were so great. Like 90% of the kids participated and were a lot of fun. We had a few who did not participate and a couple who actively tried to make their classmates fail? Just complained?? I don't know. It's all good. We had a lot of fun.

I let them know we were doing a challenge by choice model. And that let some sit out of they wanted. And that I encourage them to participate but I won't force them. We started with the tire over wooden stakes thing, and while every group today accomplished it, I think they were overthinking it a lot. But the person who was the speaker/director of each team did a good job and I think the debrief was good? I am bad at the debriefs.

Next we did whale watcher. The first got up could not get it, with a 15 second time, the second group had a lot of complaining and got 60 seconds. And the last group did the best at working together and got 1 minute and 15 seconds!

We would do team wall next. It was my first time doing it and I did my best to encourage but I couldn't help much. Mostly because I can't reach and can barely see over the wall. And everyone was so sweaty that it was hard to pull people up and over. And I slipped on the ladder and was a little shaken up but it was fine. I was just really sweaty and kept running out of breath. Sucked. At least I was having fun.

We did the low ropes next. And that was fun. Lots of laughs. And finally we would do the A frames over in the tipi feild. It was a fun program, though they all took forever to do the first two and I was surprised by that. Ah well.

After the first program I walked them down to go have snack. Took a minute in the ac at the pool house. And then went to the porch to eat my sandwich and chill until the next program. After the second program they had lunch. I walked all the way to the lodge and then they told me we had our lunch at the office. So I walked back. They got me Mac and cheese. Thank you Heather.

While there I got to hear some horse community drama. And then my dad texted me that his amputation has been scheduled. Next Tuesday. I'm not thrilled that there is still another week of waiting. But like emotionally I understand why dad needs time. I just want him to start healing. And this feels like the step. This is it. This is going to help him in a tangible way. Like it sucks. It really does. But I also feel like amputation is one of the oldest surgical things? Trepanation is older probably.

I had one more group and they did a great job. But we were all so stupidly sweaty and I felt so dirty. I finished almost all my water. And then everyone came and helped me put everything away. I felt very loved in that moment.

Heather drove the gater up and helped carry everything up to the shed. And once everything was wrapped up and put in it's place she drove me, Chloe, and Zay back to the office to go home.

I took the walkies inside and refilled my water. My car felt like it was a million degrees so I turned the car on and let it run for a minute before I left.

And it was a good drive once the car cooled off inside. I was super excited to go home.

And when I got back here I was frustrated by the what still. But I got upstairs and James had put the ac on for me. They were in the shower. And once they were done I went and took one myself. I felt a lot better after that but I was still so damp.

I would sit in my studio in front of a fan. And went through all our bath and body products and tossed anything that smelled full and combined things that could be combined and tossed the empty stuff. It felt nice to organize. James helped bring stuff in from the bathroom for me. And I had a nice time sorting.

James went and got pizza for us for dinner. They walked to the pizza shop to get it. I laid in the ac until they got home.

We had pizza in the living room and talked about how to make my book now that the pieces are done. But that ended up being so frustrating. James is going to organize the files but then we looked at the scans and they looked terrible. The scanner just wasn't doing what I was hoping. And so then I set up lights and background paper to photograph the scans. But I only have my phone and they looked terrible.

I was just so bummed. And felt so stupid. Like this should have been finished months ago but camp was a lot and now things are getting so busy again so even though I don't have a real deadline I just wanted to be done already. And so I'm frustred with myself.

It will be okay but I sort of shut down I was so upset. We will figure it out but I am still not having much fun.

James made me a little milkshake. And really I am just ready to go to sleep.

I am driving back up to my parents tomorrow. And my brother is going to be there and then we'll go have lunch. I asked if he wanted to do an activity but he wasn't down. I am only slightly sad about that but I understand. I am going to go hang out with Jess after that. And I will probably sleep over at my parents so I don't have to rush or drive late at night. We will see what I decide but I packed my little backpack regardless.

Now though I'm going to wash my face and get ready to sleep.

I hope you have a fun and safe day tomorrow. Take care of yourself!!! Goodnight!!

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