#I'm more sex favorable and sex positive than he could ever be

[judicent]

Yeah, I did fill 4 sketchbooks in 4 months so far this year. Huh? Am I gonna post even an ounce of it? Well, you see, I am allergic to my phone, so you will have to come CATCH ME

[jupipedia]

smile for the camera ! — choso. ↳ ❝ baby she look like a star, but only on camera. ❞ ↳ content warnings : nsfw ( minors do not interact ! ), guys THERE'S A PLOT, supermodel + photographer!choso x actress + supermodel!reader, black!reader, pleasuredom!choso, ( consensual ) explicit photography, praise, body worship, fingering ( f. receiving ), public sex ( in a studio ), exhibitionism, cunnilingus, cum play (?), unprotected sex ( no cream🥧s tho), pet names, overstim ( funny how she's always here 😅 ), not beta read.

choso posed in a seated position in front of several cameras, eyes having grown used to the constant exposure to the blinding flashes. despite his stoic and professional actions, he found himself to be in a bit of a predicament as he was instructed to hold your thigh that was placed over his shoulder with your heel resting on his thigh, his head leaning close to your core. it wasn't supposed to be arousing and he knew that if he was paired with any other model, he wouldn't be the slightest bit bothered.

but it was you.

he's known you for a while, almost as long as you've been in the modeling scene. you ran in similar social groups, have been to each other's places, and have done group and paired shots in the past. he'd consider the two of you to be a little close than friends after one or two substance infused hook ups, so that did nothing but enhance his current arousal.

he also a man, known to be a lustful creature when in the presence of the preferred gender. he can't help but to be little turned on when he has a beautiful woman so close to him that he can feel your body heat. you had on a pair of figure-fitting slacks and a blouse paired with the tightest vest that he'd ever seen and it looked great on you.

and maybe, just maybe, he had a little crush on you.

"we wanna get a few more close shots before wrapping up. could you two do a few poses from earlier? keep your heads relatively close though," the main photographer asked, motioning for you to get closer to each other. you nodded and removed your leg from its' position, prompting choso to remove his hand and take a deep breath to relieve his nerves.

you took a seat next to choso and shuffled close. you decided to rest your head on his shoulder, craning your neck to a semi natural position before giving your attention to the camera men. the two of you adjusted as they gave directions before changing to a standing pose. choso's arm was firmly wrapped around your waist, pulling you close to his as you looked to the side, giving the camera a clear view of your side profile. both of your hands rested on his shoulder as he kept facing forward, posing effortlessly.

it was smooth sailing until the photographer asked the two of you to make eye contact, your eyes meeting his dark ones. a familiar stir occurred in your stomach as you held the eye contact, his eyes darkening as your lips separated.

"good! great! okay, let's get the two of you changed and you're free to go. you guys did great as always. it's always a pleasure working with the two of you," the photographer speaks as the set begins to pack up.

"it's great working with you, too. i'll see you next time, yeah?" you responded, starting to undo the first few buttons of the vest as you walk to the dressing room. choso averted his eyes out of respect, but couldn't help as his mind wandered, imagining what you had on underneath.

"i'll see you soon," he tells the photographer before trailing after you. he caught a few knowing looks as he began to follow you and huffed out in amusement. "y/n, i have a favor to ask really quick."

"what can i do for you, handsome?" you turned back to him, vest fully undone along with a few of your blouse buttons. he smiled at the nickname as you wiggled your eyebrows, jokingly flirting with the man.

"i'm working on a few things for my portfolio and wanted know if you were free to do a few shots. i can give you more details if you're interested," he explained, looking down at you.

you shrugged. "i'm pretty free this week. just give me a time and place and i'll be there. hopefully, you'll send me a few so that i can post them and show the world how good you are."

choso blushed from the compliment. "i'm alright," he said coyly, turning away from your praise.

"you're better than okay. text me the details, pretty boy," you turned on your heels and complete your trek to your dressing room, leaving choso to look after you with a dopey smile.

yeah, he's got it bad.

you showed up to the studio as choso instructed, dressed as casual as you'd allow when you intended to take pictures. you were a bit earlier that original planned but choso was already there, telling you to come upstairs to the space he rented.

"hello, hello, hello," you announced your presence with a knock as you opened the door. choso was turned away from the door and towards the backdrop, leaning over his laptop as he edited a few pictures.

"hey," he greeted, quickly glancing over his shoulder as you walked to him. he did a double take as he noticed your outfit, heat rushing to his face and groin. "you look good."

"always do," you grinned, sitting your bag next to his laptop before leaning against the table. "so, what's on the agenda, cutie?"

"straight to business, i see. no time for chit chat?" choso joked, picking up his camera.

"what can i say? i'm a serious person," you said, shrugging with a playful smile before looking at his laptop. you moved to the gap between him and his laptop, bending a little to examine his work. "dude, you should really start commissioning. you're really fucking good at this shit."

"i'm still doing some portfolio building before i get to that point. i been doing a few shoots to prep for commissions, but nothing crazy."

"stop being so coy and start own up to the fact that you're not only a stellar model, you're also a really good photographer," you said, pushing away from the laptop and turning to face him. you could feel his breath tickle your lips before he smiled boyishly and moved back. "so, how do you want me, boss?"

"we're just doing a few natural shots, i need a few headshots and, well, you're beautiful so we'll take a few of those too. nothing too fancy," he explained after a few beats of silence, ushering you over to the backdrop. "you can start posing however you want."

you nodded and did as he instructed, immediately doing a few of your signature poses before trying a few new ones. there were a few natural shots where he complimented you and captured your dopey smile or when you started dancing slightly to the music he was playing.

"could i get one of you glancing over your shoulder?" he asked, squatting a bit to get a change of angle. you nodded and posed as he said. he took a singular shot before he lowered his camera, squinting slightly at your shoulder.

"something wrong?" you asked, turning to face forward.

"is that a new tattoo?" he asked, approaching you. he lightly pushed your curls from your shoulder to uncover said tattoo.

"it is. i've gotten a few since the last time you saw me. they're pretty inconspicuous though," you shrugged. you moved your curls even more to reveal the tattoo behind your ear. "this one is fairly new, too. i got it like two months ago?"

there was a heavy silence that filled the room as choso took a step closer, your bodies pressing against each other as he examined your tattoos.

he couldn't lie, the tattoos added to your attractiveness. he already knows that you aren't a pussy when it comes to needles as you have multiple piercing in your ears and a nose piercing, but the tattoos were different. sure they weren't that noticeable, but now that he knew they were there, that was all he could see.

"got any more?" he asked, voice huskier and breath tickling your ear. you shivered slightly, leaning back and resting your back on his front.

"wanna find out?" you asked, turning your head to come face to face with the man. choso didn't offer a response as he leaned forward, connecting his lips with yours. your head was pushed back by the force of this kiss but you quickly returned with fervor, turning in his arms and wrapping yours around his neck. choso hummed into the kiss, using your change in position as an opportunity to pull your body closer to his. there wasn't even room to pull apart for air as he moved his hand to cup your neck, deepening the kiss.

choso was the first to pull away, lungs screaming for air as his heavy breathing mixed with yours. the two of you maintained eye contact as you caught your breath before scrambling to strip, your skirt landing on one side of the studio and choso's shirt on the other. you sat on the floor, watching as he removed his pants.

instead of returning his lips to yours, choso decided to suckle on your neck, leaving a trail of hickeys as he descended to your breast.

"you're so beautiful, y/n," choso mumbles on your sternum. he pulls back to take in your naked image, your chest rising and falling as you inhaled. you shivered under his gaze, exposed to him without the effects of alcohol calming your nerves. his hands roamed your torso, occasionally groping a bit of pudge before caressing a new spot. one of his hands slid lower, heading towards your pussy. you were dripping and he's barely touched you.

as his hand traveled, his mouth found it's way to your breasts, deciding to peck and nibble on your areola before wrapping his lips around your nipple. your back arched with a moan as he firmly sucked on your nipple. his wandering hand found its way in between your folds, collecting the wetness on his thick fingers. he rolled your clit between his knuckles, causing you to squeal at the slight pinch. he removed his lips from one nipple and moved to the other, showing it the same attention that he gave the other.

"c-choso, please," you whined out. his deft fingers continued their ministrations, but you craved more. you want to feel more of him, all of him.

"i got you, gorgeous. i just need you to relax for me," he pulled away from your hardened peak as he spoke. he stared at you for a few more moments, trying to memorize the sight before an idea struck him. he reach over for he camera, glancing at you to read your expression. "do you trust me?"

your head swirled as you focused on the camera in his hand. on one hand, it was risky. it was less about how much you trusted choso and more about how easily someone could leak them if he uploaded them to his laptop. it would also mean you'd be vulnerable, all of you on display for him to capture.

on the other hand, it was thrilling. you couldn't help but attempt to clench your thighs at the thought of him using the pictures as fap material. you could feel the heat rush to your core when he picked up the camera, knowing what he was going to ask. you trusted him, he was always genuine and kind hearted, even in moments where he didn't need to be.

"yeah," you muttered out. choso gave you a small smile at your response before holding his camera up, giving you a few seconds before taking the first picture. you tried to appear as relaxed as possible, suppressing your nerves and jitters. he took a few before handing it to you. you looked at him, surprising and confusion swimming in your eyes.

"it's only fair if you get to take a few," choso said, deciphering your confusion. he didn't say much of anything else, choosing to resume his ministrations. he continued his trail of kisses, stopping at your mound. he left wet, sloppy kisses on your skin, looking at you through his eyelashes as he continued his descend. he settled between your thighs, anklet dangling next to his head as he lowered his mouth to you dripping heat. you let out a breathy moan at the feeling of his tongue grazing your twitching clit.

you looked at the camera in your hands, mustering up the strength to hold yourself up long enough to take a photo. the sight of him gazing up at you through his eyelashes was sinful.

almost as if the flash of the camera was all the approval that he needed, he began to run his tongue through your folds, circling your entrance a few times before taking another languid swipe. his arms wrapped around your hips, effortlessly pulling you closer to his mouth. he was devouring you, the lower half of his face covered in your arousal and his saliva. your moans egged him on as he suckles at the spots that made you louder.

"fuck! choso, please- ah!" you yelped as you felt his fingers begin to prod at your entrance. the feeling of his thick fingers stretching out your tight cunt had your eyes rolling back. your legs twitched around his head as he continued to pleasure you, pushing his fingers in deeply before dragging them out. a familiar heat pooled in your stomach, signalling the approach of your climax.

"gonna cum for me, doll?" he said, angling his fingers just enough to graze your g-spot. you clenched around his long digits, hands shooting for the loose bun sitting on the crown of his head. "soak my fingers f'me. you can do it."

his words paired with the constant stimulation of your pleasure point sent you hurtling towards your first orgasm. you wailed, legs quivering around choso's head as helped you ride out your orgasm.

"choso, 'm sensitive, no more," you pleaded out as he continued his ministrations, mouth and fingers never leaving your core. your hips bucked and your hands weaved through his hair, the bun long undone due to your pulling.

"can you give me another one, sweetness? i know you can," he muttered into your pussy, the vibrations causing your toes to curl out of overstimulation. you couldn't tell if you wanted to push him away or pull him closer but you had no time to decide as a second orgasm began to wash over you so quick that you couldn't even register the build up.

"that's it, baby. fuck, you soaked my fingers," choso groans out, pulling his fingers from your sensitive core and licking them clean of your slick. "hmm, you've got the sweetest pussy."

choso grabbed his camera from your hands, taking this opportunity to capture your blissed out state. your chest rose and fell as you tried to catch you breath and unblur your vision. a few of your curls stuck your forehead and you knew you lipstick was smeared as the red pigment lingered on choso lips.

"gonna let me feel you, beautiful? gonna be good for me and let me fuck you, hmm?" choso asked, aligning his leaking cock with your entrance. choso tapped your clit with his cock a few times as he waited for your response.

"please fuck me. please, i wan' it," you whined, bucking your hips towards his cock. you dragged your pussy against against his shaft, moan as his tip caught your entrance. his hips bucked, pushing into you without warning. choso groans deeply, placing his arms next to your head as he pushed into your heat. your breaths mingled, faces only a few inches apart.

choso basked in your moans, pushing one of your legs up to deepen his strokes and pull those sinful harmonies from your lips. your arms roped around choso's neck, pulling him down to connect your lips in a sloppy kiss. he swallowed your whimpers and moans, his deep strokes jerking your body from the force. his tongue rubbed against your own, allowing you to taste the heady flavor of your cunt.

"look at you," choso remarked, pulling away from the kiss to observe you. "you're taking me so well, baby. every time i pull out, she sucks me right back in. you're so pretty all fucked out f'me."

you were reduced to moans and whimpers, not being able to form a coherent phrase. he could tell that your shaking babbles were you calling out his name, crying out for the relentless pleasure. he felt you twitch around his cock, indicating your approaching orgasm. your volume raised, jumbled pleas falling from your lips as you begged for your release. he answered wordlessly, his hand returning to toy with you clit.

he continued his strokes after your brutal release, chasing his own and your final one. your hands found purchase on his wrists, squeezing it as you cunt was overworked. choso groans now held a whine edge as he approached his climax. he whimpered your name, lost in your warm vice.

you felt like you were on fire. your back ached from the hard floor and the force of his thrust. your legs burned, hamstrings taut from stretching your legs around choso's large frame. your brown skin glistened with sweat from the erotically warm room. your lungs burned and your throat was sore from the pleading, not even thinking to control your volume in a public space.

"ah, ch-choso! 's so much, mm! i can't-ah!" you squeak out, feeling the pressure pool in your stomach. choso leaned down toward your ear, your leg hitting your chest as he moved.

"you can. you're so pretty when you cum for me. you're twitching so cutely around me. you wanna cum f'me, baby? hmm, you wanna make a mess on my cock? go ahead, pretty girl. cum for me," choso whispered, breath tickling your lobe. you moaned out, not being able to properly respond as your orgasm crashed over you. you creamed on choso cock, body vibrating from the immense pleasure. choso choked on a moan, thrusting a few more times before pulling out, cumming on your chest and stomach. he groaned, noticing how a drops of his cum landed on your chin.

the two of you stayed on your position on the floor, mulling over what just happened. you nudged choso with your foot and he looked at you, breathless. you motioned to his camera and he understood, taking a shot of your body covered in his release before passing it to you. you took your own photo of his lipstick covered face, eyes still swimming with lust as his hands gripped at the fat of your thighs.

"you got a lil' something," you pointed to choso mouth. he wiped his lip with his thumb, seeing the lipstick stain on his thumb.

"yeah, so do you," he joked, motioning to the drops of cum on your chin. you wiped your chin, bringing your finger up to you mouth to taste his release. choso groaned at the sight and turn his head away, trying to prevent his cock from hardening.

"you should let me take you out to dinner," choso said, back to his timid ways as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"i've been waiting for you to ask me out for a month. we're gonna be a lot more than dinner," you giggled, pulling yourself up to him and connecting your lips once more.

© JUPIPEDIA. all rights reserved.

[too-many-fandoms-tbh]

LATE NIGHT SKATE NIGHT

PERCY JACKSON SMUT

(percy x fem!reader)

warnings : sex, p in v, oral fem!receiving, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, car sex, rivalry, porn without plot tbh

she knew it was late, but after a long day at work, y/n couldn't help but go to the skatepark. if luck was on her side, she'd get the park to herself. it usually wasn't all that busy, especially after sunset on a wednesday night.

she pulled into the parking lot nearby, grabbing her skateboard from the trunk and locking her mini-van. sure, it was a lame car, but she had gotten it when she moved out since it had so much space.

grabbing her skateboard, y/n jogged into the park. by the looks of the empty parking lot, she'd expected it to be, you know, empty, but there was still someone inside. upon further inspection, she realized just who it was.

percy jackson. he had been a pain in her ass ever since she moved here last year. they were rivals in the skating world, constantly trying to one up each other. to make matters even worse, he lived right next to her at their apartment complex, so there was no avoiding him and the blaring music he listened to.

he hadn't noticed her yet, too busy off in his own world. she stood at the edge of the large bowl, watching him skate from side to side before eventually spotting her. he gained enough momentum to shoot up a smaller section of the bowl and pulled himself back onto the concrete.

"enjoying the show, eh?" he mocked. "you could learn some tips from me."

she turned to glare at him. "don't flatter yourself, jackson. i'm only here to skate. it's not my fault you don't have a life."

"fine," his smirk didn't fall. "but don't get mad when i'm better than you."

she flipped him off, leading percy to childishly stick his tongue out at her in response. since the bowl was so big, consisting of multiple different drop-off points, the two managed to keep their distance pretty well. even then, they'd often pass each other in the center, sending increasingly more angry glares each time.

at one point, y/n shoved percy's arm when they passed each other. he didn't fall immediately, but the disturbance to his balance distracted him enough that he crashed into a nearby wall.

y/n smirked as she watched him fall. the tension between the two kept growing as they continued skating. it wasn't even a minute later that percy tried to return the favor.

they passed each other in the middle, and percy shoved y/n's arm. he seemed to forget how much stronger he was than her, because he did a lot more damage to her than she did to him.

"you asshole!" y/n shrieked. she grabbed onto percy's arm to try and stabilize herself, but since they were heading opposite directions, the two crashed onto the concrete.

y/n landed on her back, wincing as her head hit the concrete. their skateboards went rolling away as percy crashed on top of her.

panting, percy planted his hands on the ground and pushed himself up. their legs were still tangled together, and y/n could feel his hips brushing against hers. he hovered over her, the both of them panting as they looked at each other.

"shit, you alright?" percy asked. shifting his weight to his left arm, he cradled the back of her head with his right hand.

y/n was frozen under him, her eyes clouding with lust as she stared up at him. she could feel his warm breath tickling her nose, sending the fresh scent of mint radiating through her nostrils.

she blinked as she remember his initial question. "mhm," she barely managed to squeak out.

both of their chests were heaving as the two stared at each other. suddenly, before they had even realized, their lips connected.

percy brought y/n cradled head closer to him, the veins in his left arm popping out from supporting him for this long. without breaking the kiss, he slowly pulled his hand out from under her.

still hovering over her, percy pulled away to catch his breath. "you sure you didn't hit your head?" he murmured.

y/n gaped up at him. "positive."

shifting his weight to his knees, percy's hands ventured to y/n waist. with a tight grip, he flipped the two over. y/n gasped as she now found herself on top of percy.

using her shock, percy slipped his tongue into her mouth. the two fought for dominance as y/n shifted, moving her knees to so that she was now straddling his hips. sliding her hand down his chest, y/n suddenly palmed percy through his jeans.

percy bucked his hips up with a groan. y/n smirked, now taking over dominance in the kiss. taking advantage of his now free hands, percy got his revenge. he slipped both of his hands between their bodies, gripping each of her breasts tightly through her shirt.

the wetness pooling between her legs mixed with the feeling of percy's hardness against her clothed crotch was driving y/n insane. desperate for any sort of friction, she rutted her hips against him.

a couple minutes later and the two were going mad. there was only so much making out, fully clothed, groping and grinding on each other, that two young-adults could take.

y/n pushed herself up on her arms like percy had done earlier, causing percy to detach his lips from her neck with a wet pop. he brushed her hairs out of his face, looking up at her with lust-filled confusion and concern.

"can we take this someplace else?" she murmured.

"your car?" percy suggested.

"please."

together, they scrambled out of the bowl. barely remembering their skateboards, the two raced to the car.

y/n won, unlocking her car and opening the back door. it was only now that she remembered she had put the back seats down, meaning the entire back of the car, trunk and all, was empty for them.

she climbed inside, percy quick on her heels. by the time he had shut the door, y/n had already tore her shirt off. percy turned and his breath caught in his throat at the sight of her full breasts, which were still enclosed in a navy blue bra.

"eager are we?" percy teased once he got over his initial awe.

"oh shut up." y/n grabbed the bottom of his sweatshirt, yanking aggressively up. from where he was sat on his knees, percy choked on his breath. he helped her take it off, only for her to find out he had a t-shirt on underneath.

"why are you wearing so many layers?" she huffed annoyedly. before she could reach out, percy tore his t-shirt off as well. she immediately closed her mouth, freezing when muscles she didn't even know he had were suddenly on full display.

"and why are you so judgey?" he asked back. before she could respond, percy leaned forward. he grabbed her wrists, pinning them to the floor above her head. she gasped, falling on the floor and lying on her back. percy crawled forward, using his left knee to part her legs.

she squirmed under him, unable to free her hands. "and why are you so strong?" she complained, grinding her clothed crotch against his knee.

percy grinned, leaning down and pressing peppering kisses down her jawline. y/n continued to grind against his knee, letting out a shocked moan when percy's lips found the sweet spot on her neck.

his lips moved down her neck, his free hand toying carelessly with the waistband of her leggings. his lips slowly trailed across her collarbone, leaving gentle hickeys across the skin, until his lips reached her bra, at which point he frowned.

y/n struggled under his grip. "if you let me have my damn hands," she sassed. "then i could take it off."

with a roll of his eyes, percy let go of her wrists. she smirked in triumph, sitting up long enough to unclip her bra and slide the straps off of her shoulders. whilst she did so, percy grabbed his discarded sweatshirt off of the floor and slid it under her head like a cushion.

the second her breasts were exposed, percy groaned. his tongue swirled around her  nipple, sucking on the supple skin. he softly bit at her hardened bud, eliciting a low moan from her mouth.

when he got done giving each breasts equal attention, which only worked her up even more, percy left soft kitten licks down her stomach. y/n could tell he was hard based off of the way his dick strained in his jeans, but it seemed that making her writhe under him was more important to him than taking care of his own needs.

deciding he'd teased her enough, percy's calloused fingers ran softly across her hips and under the waistband of her leggings. after double checking that he had her consent, percy swiftly pulled her pants and underwear down at the same time. she lifted her hips up, craning her neck to watch percy shuffle backwards.

when the sudden cool air hit her bare pussy, y/n felt herself squeeze around nothing. she closed her legs, pressing her thighs tightly together.

percy tsked at her. he grabbed her knees, forcing her legs apart. when he saw the arousal dripping out from her, he gulped.

"shit, y/n," he practically growled. she tried to close her legs again out of embarrassment, but he held them open. "if i'd have known you'd look like this for me, i'd have crashed into you a long time ago."

"shut up," she sat back on her elbows. "put that mouth to good use before i fuck it myself." logically, her words didn't make sense, but they did the trick.

"someone's feisty," percy teased, lying down on his stomach in front of her. "but since you asked so nicely..."

he licked one long strip across her folds and y/n could've sworn she screamed. she went to close her legs around his head, but his arms wrapped around her thighs and forced them apart yet again. his tongue dipped inside her, twisting and flexing until she was desperate for more. his nose tickled her clit, causing her to try and pull him impossibly closer.

she'd received head before, but never before did it feel so good. it was as if he never even had to come up for breath.

y/n gripped his hair tightly, yanking on the messy waves. she felt one of his arms untangle from under her thigh, and before she knew what he was doing, percy inserted a finger inside of her.

she clenched around his finger and percy laughed, sending vibrations shocking through her cunt. his tongue moved from her hole and to her clit, swirling figure-eights over the bundled nerves.

he inserted a second finger, alternating between scissoring them and pumping them in and out. his tongue still swirled her clit, sometimes fully sucking on it and other times just teasing her.

she could feel herself getting closer, her whines and pants getting louder as she tried to buck her hips up. percy laughed again, only turning her on even more, and looked up at her.

the feeling of him softly nipping at her clit mixed with his piercing eyes looking up at her made y/n snap. she threw her head back, suddenly thankful for the sweatshirt-pillow percy gave her. she felt herself unravel, embarrassingly loud moans falling from her lips.

percy rode her through her orgasm, his tongue lapping up her juices before they could hit the car floor. when she finally relaxed, he pulled away. y/n gasped at the sudden cool emptiness, closing her legs as soon as he pulled away.

percy crawled up her body, hovering over her and pulling her into another long kiss. she could taste herself on his tongue. whilst they were kissing, y/n reached down, blindly fumbling with his jeans. she managed to unbutton and unzip the fabric without breaking the kiss.

percy pulled and sat up, shuffling both his jeans and boxers down his hips and taking them off completely. y/n's eyes widened as his dick sprung free. it looked almost painfully hard, with precum coating the tip.

she crawled up to sit on her knees, preparing to return the favor, but percy shook his head. "no, no. that's sweet, but i need to be inside you right fucking now."

y/n nodded with a gulp. she had never been one to submit, but here she was, looking up at him with wide eyes as she waited for him to do something.

instead of touching her like she'd expected, percy backed away. he sat on the floor with his back to the drivers seat, leaning against it for support. his dick stuck up, long and thick, near his stomach. he fished a condom out of his jean pockets, ripping open the package and sliding it on himself.

"come here," he invited. y/n crawled towards him, not even caring if he'd tease her for her eagerness later. "i want you to ride me."

y/n crawled on his lap, straddling his thigh and ignoring his dick. she brought her fingers up to his hair, giving a few strands a playful tug. "you want me to, yeah?" she'd composed herself enough to get her attitude back.

percy glared at her, his hands running roughly up and down her waist. "i can feel you dripping down my thigh," he said through grit teeth. "so just get on my fucking dick."

"wow," y/n shook her head with a laugh. she then remembered what he'd said to her minutes ago. "since you asked so nicely..."

she lifted herself up, positioning percy's dick under her cunt. making direct eye contact, she slowly lowered herself onto him.

they both moaned, y/n throwing her head back so hard her neck cracked. "fuck," she panted out. "you're so big."

percy let out a shaky exhale when she slowly circled her hips, trying to adjust to his size. "yeah? you're- shit- you're so tight." he rebutted. he was quite literally inside of her, and yet the two still managed to keep up their snarky comebacks.

slowly, y/n lifted herself up. when only the tip was left inside of her, she dropped back down with a moan. percy's hands explored her body, running over each and every of her curves. his hands wrapped around her body and cupped her ass, grasping it as if his life depended on it. he helped her bounce up and down, his hands eventually moving to her breasts, which were bouncing right in his face.

"holy fuck.." he muttered as he watched her. she'd always been beautiful, that much was undeniable, but seeing this side of her was something brand new.

y/n continued to bounce up and down, sweat building on her forehead from the effort. eventually, she slowed down, and percy's hands gripped her hips. he helped to guide her, watching as her movements got sloppier and her moans louder.

she was nearing her climax when percy lifted her off of him. she landed lazily on the the floor next to him, a vicious glare in her hazy eyes.

"the fuck was that for?" she demanded.

percy shifted so that he was kneeling. "as hot as that was, i've gotta move. lay on your stomach, ass up."

"excuse me?" she said, though she couldn't deny the fact that she was incredibly turned on. in all of her other one night stands, she'd been the dominant one, and so percy bossing her around was something completely new. it's safe to say it was a pleasant new.

"you heard me."

y/n rose her eyebrows. "make me."

percy laughed darkly, though it was almost a moan. in the dim lighting from outside, y/n saw his dick twitch. "you don't wanna do this." he said.

"oh but i do."

the two had an angrily stare down before percy moved towards her. swiftly, he grabbed her neck. she thought he may choke her, but instead, he roughly shoved her down. she fell on her stomach, her head landing safely on the makeshift sweatshirt-pillow.

"what are you-" her words got cut off when he grabbed her thighs and pulled upwards. she pulled her knees closer to her chest, leaving her pussy and ass on full display for percy.

"oh fuck," percy exhaled, running his hands over her ass. y/n turned her head to glance back at him, her cheek pressingly comfortably into the sweatshirt.

"well?" she demanded. "you wanted this, now fuck me."

"let me know if i'm too rough." percy told her. before she could respond, he suddenly pushed into her. y/n choked out a strangled moan, her fingers scraping the the rough carpet of the car in search of something to ground her.

percy was relentless. he held her hips, thrusting fast, deep, and hard into her. the whole car was shaking at this point, and y/n was thankful she didn't have to hold herself up, because she was pretty sure her arms would've collapsed by now.

his thrusts got sloppier as percy neared his climax. y/n was close too, her uncontrollable moans an obvious sign of that. when percy reached down to fiddle with her overly-sensitive clit, she knew she would break.

she clenched around percy, letting out a sputtering moan as she came. the feeling of her squeezing around him was enough to send percy over the edge. together, the two climaxed, both moaning messes.

percy slowed his thrusts before eventually pulling out. the second he let go of her hips, y/n's legs fell limp. percy took off the full condom and tied it off, setting it in an empty walmart bag he found on the otherwise clean floor. at the same time, y/n rolled onto her back, her chest heaving as she worked to get over her post-orgasm shock. normally, she was fine after sex, but it was different with percy. everything was different with him.

"you good?" percy asked, lying on his back next to her.

"good is one way to put it," y/n mumbled. "you?"

percy turned his head to look at her, only to find she was already looking at him. "good. we should do this again some time."

"yeah?" y/n looked up to him with a hopeful smile. "but maybe next time with a bed."

as she spoke, she sat up, rubbing her back softly. she'd gotten rug burn from how much she'd squirmed around when percy was eating her out.

percy laughed, sitting up as well. he reached around the trunk, collecting all of their discarded clothing items. "speaking of beds," he spoke. "you think i could get a ride home?"

y/n smiled at him, grabbing her clothes and slowly slipping on her thong. "yeah, of course."

the two got dressed and percy opened the door, stepping out into the crisp night air. he held the door for y/n, who almost immediately fell over. she thought she'd be fine by now, but her legs were still a shaking mess.

"on second though," she stumbled towards the passenger seat with a giggle. "why don't you drive?"

[powderblueblood]

Ooooh lacy falls asleep watching a movie with eddie and he hears her having a sex dream

an: LMAO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!! alright MINORS DNI i have no problem sending swarms of bees to your houses and also warning for somnophilia (kinda) and hands free ejaculation

first of all, who the hell falls asleep during the warriors?!

the gramercy riffs have just dedicated 'nowhere to run' by arnold mcculler to the warriors and shit is about to go down and your head is bobbing forward on eddie's worn-out couch.

he rolls his eyes at you-- really? "hey." a finger jabs at your knee from the opposite sagging end of the couch. "wakey-wakey. it's just about to get good over here."

"mm-- i'm awake!" you jump, but your eyes barely flicker back open, lashes all heavy and voice all loopy.

"tough day at the office?"

"you would not believe." he watches you struggle to muffle a yawn and pinch your cheeks to liven yourself up. "christmas returns. you remember all those old men that kept coming in and buying copies of the joy of sex?"

eddie guffaws lightly. "uh-huh."

"well, today i met their wives."

eddie mouths a little 'oh no!' and you chorus back 'oh yeah!' and even then, with your cheek shoved against the heel of your hand, he can see you're struggling for consciousness.

"lie down," he tells you. your brow furrows, because you're always more stubborn than tired.

"but the movie--" "fuck the movie. well, no, it's a great movie but just-- take a load off."

you sit up a touch straighter and eddie's about to give you shit about always being such a little pushback. but then you decide, "okay. just for a sec."

what he doesn't expect is for your head to land in his lap.

i mean, couches, opposite ends, you could have cozied yourself up against the slouching arm, but no. you decided to stretch yourself forward and settle with your head basically in his crotch. facing the ceiling. facing him.

eddie's breath shallows as you look up at him, your expression the closest thing to peaceful he's maybe ever seen you. you don't even have that little hitch between your eyebrows you sport like a uniform. looks like that night in his trailer, when he hid you away in his bedroom, which-- look, memory lane is not on the agenda for tonight.

"do me a favor?" you say, and your voice is this cracked little purr.

your hand blindly tugs at his, resting it on the crown of your head. oh. right. that hair petting thing. that thing he gets you to do when you're not being such a pill or he's worn you out from being such a pill. you're so nice with your fingers, see, pressing them against his scalp in a way that makes his whole body shiver. scratching a little sometimes-- a little too harsh sometimes, which makes him cringe away. but not because it hurts. because it... does other things.

eddie sighs, like it's really putting him out, like you do, and slides his fingers into your hair. but that's nothing compared to the sigh you let out.

fuck you. how can one little puff of air make him want to flip you over and mount you?

but he's trying to be normal about this-- he's trying so hard, because you're friends, right?

he doesn't think before he says it. "that feel good?"

"mm-hm," you mumble, hand sliding across your stomach, tucking under your breasts, getting comfortable. "mm-hm... careful of your rings, though."

"i'll be... i'll be careful."

"thanks, eddie." your fingers rise to brush against his tummy, some physical acknowledgement of gratitude that he's sure you mean as like, a nudge on the shoulder or a slap on the back or a high five or a fist bump but it sure as fuck doesn't feel like that.

especially when your fingers stay there, suspended in position as you've fallen asleep almost instantly. like stick a fork in you, you're done.

which is a relief. because less movement from you means less focus on you, which means eddie can pretend to watch the movie and pray away the halfsie that is nestled at the back of your skull.

problem is, you're awfully hard to stop looking at.

as your breathing deepens, his fingers slow and he just... watches you. the ascent and descent of your chest. the soft flicker behind your eyelids. the way your mouth parts ever-so-slightly. you're exhausted, but you're relaxed and he-- alright, fucking shoot him, he feels a little responsible for that? a little proud, okay? you're never relaxed. you're so high strung and sharp, but the edges of that seem to dull around him a touch. especially on nights like these.

eddie finally deludes himself into chilling out enough to tune back into the warriors, and then you make a sound.

it's a soft one, but enough to pucker your lips out of shape.

"ohmm."

eddie freezes, jaw winching. your fingers flick involuntarily against his stomach-- a twitch. a very dangerous twitch.

you make another noise and fuck him, if it doesn't sound like the first delicious note of a whimper. oh god.

and his fingers are still tangled in your hair. ruffling a little, breathing out heavily through his nose, he goes, "lace-- lacy," but it's zero response from you. just a hitch in those eyebrows.

and so lazily, so feline, he feels you sleepily nudge into his touch. if he didn't know any better (he doesn't, for the record, he's never known anything in his life other than this moment, if you really want to know), he'd think that was a sign to... keep going.

digits move against your scalp and he watches, unblinking, as your lips part. a sigh flies out, and not the kind you make when you're fed up with him, not the kind you make when you get a less-than-perfect grade or snag your tights or have a headache... not that kind.

different. sweet. the way he though you might sound, once all those defenses were smashed down. how much is it to rent a bulldozer.

his dumbass, age-old pajama pants are tightening by the second and they don't hide a fuckin' thing. how are you not feeling this.

well, whether you are or you aren't, he's still moving his fingers through your hair and you seem to like that and he's so, so happy, like he's so, so stoked but-- watching the breath hitch in your chest, watching the way your tits kind of slope out of the neckline of your shirt, watching goosebumps flash across your skin.

jesus christ, he can see your nipples through that thin little top you're wearing. tight and pointed, an illusion through the slinky cotton and binding of your bra.

eddie's teeth tighten into his bottom lip, his free hand gripping the back of the couch. this symphony of quiet, broken sounds coming out of you is a full extended play in and of itself, and he wants you on repeat. forever.

your hips lift the tiniest fraction. your fingers, still curled up by his belly, stretch and catch at his t-shirt.

"oh, fuck," eddie breathes, hoping he's quiet enough.

he's doing everything, and he means everything, not to move his hips even one iota even though his cock is crying out-- crying out for you, for your hands, for your mouth, for the crook of your fucking arm, anything so long as it's you.

"mmnm," you mumble, completely unaware, thighs rubbing off one another.

aching. dashing a wet spot right under your pretty, brilliant, terrifying, pretty head.

oh, fucking wake up-- feel me-- but don't, because what if the illusion shatters, what if the bubble bursts, what if you see him for the filthy fucking pervert that he is, getting off on watching you sleep. stroking your hair, making you make those noises-- the fucking sounds coming from those pouted, pillowy lips of yours.

he throbs, and your other hand jerks up to your chest, and his thumb strokes the right side of your skull and you moan. full-bodied. almost real.

it's so dangerous. he wants to turn you over and plunge his cock past your smartass mouth and weaken immediately because you're you and he's him and he will end up begging you to let him gloss your lips with his cum.

too much! way too much! eddie has to bite down on the shoulder of his own shirt as his body tenses, his balls tighten, his vision blacks out--

his eyes squeeze shut, hand freezing on your head. moisture spreads like guilt across his conscience.

fuck. fuck. fuckfuckfuck!

eddie's eyes snap open and he doesn't waste a second of time. he grabs you by the shoulders and shoves you up and away from him.

"wmwhatthefuck--" "--gotta piss. move."

but he sorely underestimates just how dizzy he's going to be when he stands up. he stumbles to the bathroom like keith richards getting off a ride at six flags.

"eddie?" you huskily mumble after him, and he's like, ready to kill you. ready to kill you. ready to give you a home lobotomy so you never say his name all needy and crackly and lovely like that ever again.

when he eventually slinks back, different pants on this time, you give them a pointed look. you're all criss-cross applesauce on the couch and he, like, fucking hates you and wants to carry you to his bedroom bridal style and tear off your panties in a single mouthful.

"costume change?" you ask.

"you snore like a coal miner, you know that?"

eddie's never wanted to fuck a coal miner before.

[turbulentscrawl]

hii could i req ithaqua nsfw hcs?

Also I love ur writing!! Keeping the idv community well fed 💕 its getting harder finding anything new for idv so i hope you have been faring well

I'm glad you like it!! I'm getting by! Work has been extra hectic with the busy season approaching...energy drinks are my best friend. Anyway here's the bastard <3

-He’s a bit of a fiend in the bedroom. That is, he’s never had a partner to be intimate with before, and never placed much stock in physical pleasure…until he got a taste of it. Then he becomes just about addicted to it; his libido skyrockets. I’m talking several days of the week, several rounds at a time. He’s almost always horny after winning a match, too, when the adrenalin is still pumping.

-First of all, he’s a dom. There’s just no arguing it. Even if you think you’ve convinced him to let you be in charge? No you haven’t. He’s not capable of restraining himself for an entire session like that. The second he thinks you look tired, or you’re going too slow, or you challenge him, or whatever excuse he has, he’s ripping control back from you.

-I prefer not to say anything specific about dick sizes, but I do personally think his would be slim-but-long. Not amazing girth, but great reach. If a stretch is what really gets you going, he’s got no problem shoving a few (or all) of his fingers inside you at the same time.

-He’s not patient enough for restraints most of the time, but he likes to pin you in submissive positions. However, the added height from his stilts make him seem bigger and stronger than he is. Holding you up for long periods is especially difficult for him without the right kind of bracing, so he favors keeping you beneath him in difficult-to-escape positions like a mating press or arm-lock.

-Ithaqua’s secret fantasy is to fuck you in front of everyone at the dining table. He won’t, not ever, because he doesn’t even like the other manor inhabitants even glancing in your direction, let alone oogling your perfect body. But the most dark and possessive part of him wants everyone to see him claiming you, marking you, to know you’re HIS. But again, that’s not happening, so he settles for seducing you in semi-public places where he knows people can hear you calling his name. If you’re a survivor you can’t enter one another’s manors, so this means most of your sex occurs outdoors, either in the gardens or on one of the unused maps. He also brags about your bedroom endeavors to anyone he thinks might be attracted to you, rubs it in their face that you love how he fucks you.

-He doesn’t moan much until he’s close to finishing. The rest of the time he’s running his mouth, cursing, praising you, degrading you, whatever gets you the most worked up. He wants you to completely unravel on his dick and he’s incapable of shutting up until you’re incapable of forming words.

-Expect to be left with plenty of markings. He doesn’t care if you have some bruises, you’ll live and they go away the next day anyway. (Which means he gets to make them again ahaha.) He’s not much of a biter or scratcher, though. Just very grabby and hair-pull-y.

-Perhaps surprising, but he’s very good at aftercare. Ithaqua doesn’t tire from physical activity, for whatever reason, so even if you’re tuckered out he’s still up and about. He enjoys taking baths together after sex, and he’ll even do all the work of washing you so you can relax. If you’re dozing off and he’s able to take you to bed, he gets you all tucked in with water and a snack nearby. (If you’re a survivior, he carries you back to the manor, at least.) He won’t stick around to cuddle for more than a few minutes, though, because he has to do his laps around the manor and make sure everyone knows he just railed you. He’s ridiculous. (It’s a little embarrassing, but rest assured the others are quite used to it. They don’t think less of you or anything.)

[praisethesuuun]

Nsfw alphabet for Jataka

Pretty please with cherry 🍒 on top

Sorry for the wait, I was pretty busy with school...🌻

JATAKA NSFW ALPHABET!

A: aftercare <what they're like after sex>

Jataka is very sweet when he has to take care of you: he makes you lie on his chest while he feeds you grapes, serving them with his lips. He serves you water himself and pampers you like a queen, you don't mess with this man!

B: body part <their favourite body part on them and you>

I'm pretty sure his favorite part of his body is his chest. Seeing as how Jataka has grown tired of life in chains in his temple, seeing his chest rise and fall when he breathes heavily reminds him that he is alive. While he praises your lips, the same ones that make him feel every kind of sensation and love; your kisses are like a drug to him.

C: cum <anything to do with it, really>

Jataka has no preferences, it asks you and adapts based on your choices.

D: dirty secret <a dirty secret of theirs>

Jataka has a thing about feeling your mouths eating the same thing, he sees it as a symbol of love and unity. It's possible that he might feed you a berry while you both taste it with your tongue, your teeth sinking into the same pulp...

E: experience <how experienced are they>

I'm not going to lie, he may have had concubines given his social rank. Jataka has experience, facts!

F: favourite position <self-explanatory>

SPOONING! Especially in the morning as soon as you wake up, when you feel his erection pressing against you and his arms wrapping around you from behind. The hot breath of your king warming your neck, while Jataka leaves kisses here and there on the back of your neck.

G: goofy <would they use humor in the moment?>

Well, I don't see why not. I see Jataka as someone who tries to never bore you, so a joke every now and then could be in order.

H: hair <how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the courtains?>

The carpet matches the curtains and everything is really clean!

I: intimacy <are they romantic in the moment or they do not care?>

He is definitely the most romantic you will ever meet: strives to make the experience pleasant, with scented petals on the sheets or a hot bath full of aromas, massages and caresses while you make love...10 out of 10!

J: jack off <...self-explanatory part 2>

He doesn't see the point in doing this if he already has you.

K: kinks <their kinks>

Besides the accent of a food kink, I see him as a dom rather than a bottom. It all revolves around the concept of letting him vent and making him feel alive, free to do whatever he wants, to make decisions for once.

L: location <where they usually do the do>

In his temple there is a very large bathtub, with the entire bath surrounded by a beautiful mosaic window. At sunset, the sun filtering through makes that place shine even more and Jataka loves to spoil you there.

M: motivation <what turns them on>

When you wear the jewelry and clothes he gives you. Your body decorated with all his gifts is simply beautiful and a big turn on.

N: no <things they refuse to do>

Hurting you in any way is something he can't bear, it's strictly opposite to the idea. It must be pleasant for both of you...why hurt you?

O: oral <do they like giving or receiving?>

Jataka likes to receive and enjoy your mouth while lying on his sheets, but he's not opposed to return the favor.

P: pace <are they slow and sensual or fast and rough>

It changes according to your mood. Jataka will follow the mood and atmosphere, your movements and desires, satisfying every request of your body as best it can.

Q: quickie <would they fuck you for five minutes or wait until you wait home?>

He isn't a fan of quickies, he prefers having his way with you.

R: risk <...DUH>

I don't see him as a risk taker, every now and then he agrees to take them to try, but it's really rare that it happens.

S: stamina <how long can they last?>

He has good stamina! Something he's even proud of, seeing as he can hear your breathy voice all night...what a man...

T: toys <do they own any? do they use them?>

I don't think Jataka has any, but the idea shouldn't be ruled out! Who knows, maybe if you introduce him to yours...

U: unfair <how much they like to tease>

HELL YES. He might tease you to set you in the mood and to slide better inside you. Your walls are so nice, slippy and warm after Jataka teases you.

V: volume <are they asking for a noise complaint, or are they quiet?>

Jataka can be quite loud, plus, he wants to hear your voice properly. But even if he were, no one would dare contradict him or give him orders, so you're good to go!

W: wild card <a random headcanon☆>

Neck kisses are his weak point: bite it, kiss it and lick it! Torture his neck and Jataka will be on his knees.

X: x-ray <what to they look like under there?>

Jataka isn't the bigger, but isn't the smaller either. His dick is perfectly straight, the tip is of a beautiful and bright light pink.

Y: yearning <are they in the mood to fuck or are they tame?>

Jataka is usually tame since his commitments tire him considerably, so you have to keep up the libido.

Z: zzz <how quickly they fall asleep afterwards>

First he waits for you to fall asleep and everything is perfect for you, then he collapses like a little angel!

[cherrycola27]

Whoever's in Lemoore

Hello, loves! I wrote this for @roosterforme 's #tgmrocktober challenge!

This fic is based on the Reba McEntire song "Whoever's in New England"

Warnings: Language, cheating, pregnancy and related complications. Angst

...........................................

Bob Floyd was the best husband you could have ever asked for. He was kind, smart, hard-working, and attentive.

You were an elementary teacher, and Bob was a WSO. The two of you probably never would have met, had your best friend Jennifer "Boston" Lyons not set the two of you up. The two of you grew up together, and Jeni was a member of Bob's squadron in Lemoore.

Unfortunately, when Bob was called back to Top Gun and then eventually given a permanent station in San Diego, you had to leave her behind, but it was fine. You two had always made a long-distance friendship work. Honestly, it had helped prepare you for the times that your husband was deployed.

You were thankful though, that with his new station, deployments would be less frequent.

After buying a house and settling down, the two of you decided to start trying for children. Bob had three siblings, and while you didn't have any, both of you agreed on the fact that you wanted at least three kids.

You both also knew how stressful it could be on a couple when trying for children, so you decided to stop taking your birth control and have fun for a year. If you got pregnant, great, if not, after a year, the two of you would get serious, start tracking cycles, and see a specialist if needed.

You had really hoped that each month, you'd get a positive pregnancy test, but month after month, they came up negative.

Bob was extremely supportive of you, and after a year, the two of you buckled down. You tracked your cycle, both of you watched your diet, and you even saw a fertility doctor who assured you that both of you were healthy and to give it time.

Give it time.

You tried to give it time, you really did. But you were so desperate to be a mother that it started to take a toll on you, Bob, and your marriage.

Suddenly, trying for a baby wasn't as fun as it once was. Sex became more of a chore rather than a thing of enjoyment.

But finally—finally you and Bob got the miracle you'd been hoping for. Only, you seemed to be more excited about it than he was.

You chalked it up to shock.

Unfortunately, pregnancy was not easy for you. Early on, you were diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum, which caused you to experience dehydration and a short hospital stay. Your blood pressure was also dangerously high, and your blood sugar wasn't at a level that the doctors were happy with.

Which is why, at sixteen weeks, you were put on bed rest until your child was born.

It was hard for both of you. You couldn't eat or sleep. You were moody and irritable. You libido was also in the toilet. You hated your life, but you knew it would all be worth it.

At first, Bob seemed so supportive, but as time passed, be became cold and distant.

Looking at it now, you can pinpoint where the cracks in the foundation of your marriage started. If only you'd seen them sooner.

................

"Honey, I'm home." Bob called as he entered the kitchen. You were sitting on the couch watching TV. It was late. Almost 8pm. You had already eaten dinner, showered and changed into some comfy clothes.

You offered Bob a weak hello as he came in the door. He'd been getting home from work later and later.

In the darkest part of your mind, you thought the worst—that he had someone else. But he wouldn't do that to you. He was your Robby. You were carrying his son for crying out loud.

On a particularly bad day, you asked him about it. He was almost heartbroken that you could even think that.

He soothed your worries by telling you, "I'm working on important things for our future. I'm an officer on his way up. I'm trying to make sure you and the baby are taken care of." You believed him. You cried as you apologized to him.

"How's my favorite girl and my favorite little guy?" Bob asked as he came and kneeled in front of you on the couch. He pressed a few kisses to your stomach before moving to your lips.

"We are fine." You sighed as he trailed his lips across your jaw to your ear. "Fine? Is that so?" He whispered. His hot breath fanning across your skin.

Bob trailed one of his hands to the apex of your thighs before you stopped him.

"Bob, not tonight. I've been sick all day, and I've finally been able to keep something down." You told him with an apologetic smile.

He didn't say anything. He stood up, muttered something under his breath, and wordlessly went to shower.

You sat there and wept. You hated yourself. You felt like the worst wife on the planet.

Later that night, you tried to make it up to Bob, but you got sick halfway through. After you had puked your guts out, Bob had tried to hold you, but you didn't want to be touched. It led to an argument and him sleeping on the couch. What a Monday.

Tuesday, Bob came home and told you he'd be going to Lemoore Wednesday afternoon to help with a training workshop on Thursday and Friday and he would be back late Saturday evening.

"Again?" You sighed. "Bob, that's the third time this month! And you went several times the past two months. Doesn't Admiral Simpson understand that you have a pregnant wife at home who is high risk?" You ask him.

"I know, baby. I'm sorry, but just a few more weeks and everything will dial down. I promise." Bob said as he kissed your head and went to pack a bag.

The only thing you had to look forward to was that Jeni—or Boston, as she typically went by her call sign now, was supposed to visit this weekend.

However, se called you Wednesday night telling you that she was sick and wouldn't make it.

So, you spent the rest of the week alone, sulking, in your all too quiet house.

When Bob came home on Saturday, you were feeling good. The best you had in all thirty weeks of your pregnancy.

You made him his favorite dinner and greeted him at the door with a big kiss. He was more than happy to sit down and have a meal with you.

After dinner, you urged him to shower, with the hope that you'd be able to spend some sensual time together.

While he was showering, you grabbed his bag to unpack it and do some laundry.

As you were taking his clothes out, a feminine scent washed over your extra sensitive nose.

Perfume—and it wasn't yours. But you were sure you smelled it before, you just couldn't place it.

You shook your head before letting your mind wander. Bob worked with women, and he was friendly—one of them probably gave him a hug and was wearing a lot of perfume—it made sense. Bob wasn't that kind of guy.

You dismissed the feeling in your gut and started the washing machine.

A few minutes later, Bob's phone rang. You checked the caller ID only to see that Jeni—your best friend was calling him.

"Jeni?" You said as you answered the phone.

"Y/N!" She exclaimed, almost as if she was surprised to hear your voice.

"Jeni, why are you calling Bob?" You asked her. There was a long pause.

"Jeni—why are you calling my husband?" You ask, this time a little more forcefully.

"Oh, Y/N, it was supposed to be a surprise. I'm coming down at the end of the month because I was going to throw you a surprise baby shower, and Bob has been helping me with it." She tells you.

"Aww, Jeni, that's so sweet. Well, I'll have him call you back so I don't ruin anything else!" You cheer into the phone before hanging up.

"Why do you have my phone?" Bob asks you. You turn around, surprised to see him.

"Jeni—er—Boston, I guess, called you to talk about the baby shower that you're helping her plan. I'm sorry I ruined the surprise, but Robby, you're the sweetest!" You say as you wrap him in a hug.

"Baby shower—right." Bob breathes out. "Let me call her back." Bob says as he takes his phone. You leave to give him privacy, but before you can make it down the hall, you hear him speak in harsh, angry whispers. You hate that you ruined his surprise, but you wish he wouldn't be so hard om Jeni. It's not her fault.

Another week passes, and Bob becomes more distant from you. You hyperemesis gravidarum is acting up again and your mood is all over the place.

He's coming home from work later, and you can't help but wonder if something is amiss. But you dismiss it time and time again.

One Wednesday afternoon, you decide to surprise Bob on base with his favorite lunch.

You walk into the rec room where his fellow aviators are waiting and they look at you like you have three heads.

"Y/N, what are you doing here?" Rooster asks you.

"I came to bring Bob some lunch. Where is he?" You ask them.

"Bob left early today. He said the two of you had some appointments this afternoon." Phoenix tells you.

In that moment, the world around you stops. The container of chicken pot pie and chocolate chip cookies slip from your hands and crash to the floor.

"Shit!" You exclaimed as you saw the mess you made.

"Y/N! Are you okay?" Hangman asks as he grabs some paper towels to clean up the mess.

"Yes, it's just I forgot, and I'm so late." You say as you turn on your heels to go to the hallway as you try to hold back tears.

"Y/N!" Phoenix calls after you. She intercepts you in the hallway.

"Is everything alright?" She asks you.

There's no point in lying.

"No. Nothing is alright. Between how hard this pregnancy has been and Bob having to go to Lemoore to teach classes, and him lying about where he is today. I think—I think he's having an affair." You finally admit.

"What do you mean he's been going to Lemoore?" Phoenix asks you.

You look at her blankly.

"Oh my god, I'm so fucking stupid. He's told me that almost every other weekend that he's had to help teach some classes in Lemoore. But that's when—that's when he has been going to see his mistress! That's where he is now! Oh my god!" You cried. Phoenix took you into her arms before leading you down the hallway to her office.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N, maybe there is another explanation." Phoenix offers, but you can tell she isn't sincere. "I smelled perfume on his clothes, and he's been hiding his phone. I should have seen the signs, but I've been busy growing a human." You cry harder.

"It's all my fault. I've pushed him away. I've been so moody and sex—I haven't had the desire to—I drove him into another woman's arms." You sigh.

"Hey now, this isn't your fault." Phoenix tells you. "Let me take you home. You're in no shape to drive." Phoenix says. You agree and she helps you to her car.

"I need to call my best friend, Boston, she's a pilot, too. She was supposed to come down next weekend to throw me a baby shower, but now I don't want her to. I can't—I can't believe this." You sob as you dail her number, but it goes to voicemail.

"Your best friend's name is Boston?" Phoenix asks you. "It's her call sign." You tell her.

Phoenix swallowed thickly, praying her gut was wrong.

Phoenix offers to stay with you until Bob shows up, but you tell her you need to be alone.

You grab one of Bob's duffle bags and start stuffing his things in it. There's no way you are letting him stay in your house. At thirty-three weeks pregnant, you probably shouldn't be stomping up and down the stairs, especially with you being high risk, but you have to.

You make your way through the house every time you see a picture of you and Bob. You tear it off the wall or shelf it's on and throw it across the room.

He comes home late that night and hears you screaming. He rushes in the house and finds the living room destroyed and sees one of his duffle bags packed on the couch.

"Honey, Y/N, are you okay?" Bob asks you. You look at him, he looks so concerned.

You don't say anything to him. Instead, you march up to him and slap him so hard that his glasses fall off his face. He picks them up and looks at you like you're a wild animal.

"What the fuck was that for?" He curses at you.

"You know exactly what it's for, you liar." You spit at him.

"Honey, what are you talking about?" He asks.

"How long? How long has it been going on?" You question him.

"How long has what been going on?" He feigns ignorance.

"How long have you been sleeping with someone in Lemoore?" You accuse him. Bob tenses at your words. A day he had hoped would never happen, has.

"Don't even try to deny it. I looked through our credit card statements and saw the hotel charges." You say to him.

"Y/N, I'm sorry." Bob says.

"Sorry? You're sorry? Why? Because you cheated or because you got caught?" You laugh. "It doesn't even matter. I packed you a bag. You can go stay with your mistress. And when whoever is in Lemoore is through with you, don't try to come back to me. Also, I'm telling you now, you will not be a part of this baby's life." You say as you try not to cry.

"Y/N, please, don't do this, I'm sorry, Boston, and I never meant to hurt you, it just—"

"Boston? Boston—as in Jeni? As in my best fucking friend who is like a sister to me? As in the person who introduced us? You've been fucking her?" Rage thrums through your veins. "I can't believe you, Robert. Take your things and leave. There's the door."

You turn away from him.

"Well, what did you expect, Y/N? You've pushed me away. You're moody and sick all the time. You never want to be physical. I was lonely. I needed someone, and Boston was there for me." Bob defends himself.

"You needed someone? You were lonely? That's rich. You don't think I've been lonely? You don't think I needed someone? The two people who were supposed to be there for me are the ones who betrayed me.

Bob opens his mouth to speak, but he quickly shuts it again.

"I packed a bag for you. We can work out a day where you can come get the rest of your things. Because when Boston decides she has better things to do, you don't have a home here anymore." You tell him as you sit down in the kitchen.

"Also, I called your mother, and while she and your family are more than welcome to be in this child's life, you won't be." You say.

"You called my mother?" Bob asks is disbelief. "Yes, Rebecca is very disappointed in you and told me to say that you weren't welcome in her home." You state.

Bob shakes his head. "So that's it? You're just giving up on us?" Bob asks as he stands at the door with his bag in hand.

"Don't try to spin this around on me. You're the one who gave up on us, Robert Floyd." You deadpan. There's no remorse in your voice as you ask him to leave.

Bob knows there is no point in trying to argue. He hangs his head and walks out the door.

That night, the Dagger Squad comes over to comfort you. Maverick asks you if you'd like to move to have Bob and Jeni dishonorbly discharged for their actions, but you turn him down. There's no sense in dragging it out.

Coyote and Hangman work to change all the locks for you in the house. Payback and Fanboy clean up the broken glass and thrown items in your floor.

You tell Maverick and Rooster where to find Bob's things, and they pack all of them in trash bags for you.

Phoenix sits with you on the couch, your head on her shoulder and she holds you as you cry.

Two weeks later, you find out that Bob put in a transfer to Lemoore after you serve him with divorce papers. You make sure to clean out your joint accounts before he can touch them.

Four weeks after that, your son is born.

Connor James Y/L/N is absolutely perfect when he is born. He has your features, and you're thankful for that. You don't know what you would have done if he'd come out looking like his father.

The Daggers and your family rally around you. True to your word, you let Bob's parents and sisters be in Connor's life. It's not their fault that Bob messed everything up.

You know, one day that your son will ask about his father, by then, you hope you'll have the words to tell him.

You also know that one day, you'll see Bob again. When you do, you'll ask him if whoever was in Lemoore was worth it.

You hope he's says no.

Taging somw who might be interested: @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @mayhemmanaged @wkndwlff @thedroneranger @daggerspare-standingby @dakotakazansky @startrekfangirl2233 @hecate-steps-on-me @cassiemitchell @na-ta-sh-aa @katieshook01-blog @desert-fern @je-suis-prest-rachel @soulmates8 @diorrfairy @eli2447 @xoxabs88xox @djs8891 @roosters-girl @sebsxphia @rosiahills22 @dempy @callsign-magnolia @alchemxx @lewmagoo @withahappyrefrain @lt-spork @multifandomlover4life @beccaanne814 @bradshawsbaby @seitmai @kmc1989 @bcarolinablr @rhettabbotts @itsdesiree86 @waywardhunter95 @hisredheadedgoddess28 @whatislovevavy @inkandarsenic @tomanybandstolove @jiminie-08 @dingochef @laracrofted @skipchat @sunlightmurdock

[miller-n-morgan]

And I Feel Fine (.ii)

Joel Miller x Jackson!Reader

18+, mdni

Summary: A new journey lies ahead, and on the very first night you become sure of something that will completely change the trajectory of your entire future.

Warnings: leaving most of the warnings the same because they apply. mentions of death, violence, gore, blood, mentions of sex abuse and trafficking. Mentions of teenage pregnancy. Mention of drugs and substances. Again, literally has ✨️the works.✨️

Word Count: 7k (i'm going absolutely wild)

Now we're cookin'.... enjoy this slice of my brain that I spent entirely too long on. And also know that the first part of the Arthur Morgan series will probably drop this week.

Series Masterlist

“I ain’t shittin’ you.” You were fine to leave it at that, but he sure as hell wasn’t. For a guy that hated long conversations, he seemed to like poking around in your business.  “And what makes you think that?”  You honestly didn’t want to tell him. He’s not Tommy, he might make fun of you, might store away the information later on and use it against you. You have no idea, actually. You don’t know him. 

Your contact had gotten you to an apartment. It was worn down, just as every other place in the QZ seemed to be, but it was better taken care of. The people living here must have been attentive about the appearance of their home. A good enough family to leave your baby with. 

She stopped you in the hallway, knocking three times on the old wood door, hearing a lively voice from the otherside before it opened. The woman standing there was lovely, about thirty or so, a half smile on her face when she saw you both had arrived. This plan had been in the works for some time now. 

“Hello, I’m Maxine Williams,” she greeted, reaching for your hand to shake. You did your best to match her kind and infectious energy, giving her a smile in return. She is after all going to be doing you the favor of a lifetime. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” you replied, keeping your head low between your shoulders, though you felt comfortable in her presence. 

She leaned into your contact, turning her head, but you heard the whisper “She’s so young…” 

“S’why she needs help.” 

You understood that this didn’t look right. You should not be pregnant at your tender age, should not have been put in this position. You’ve seen more horrific things than any person ever should, and it all started when you were eight… outbreak day. 

“Of course… come in, both of you.”

The pleasantries went on for a while, exchanging information of where you came from, why you were in this area, what you did before being in Boston. She mentioned her husband, her two sons and their love for older things, wishing for the world the way it was. It was all just small talk, leading up to the actual conversation topic: the baby she was about to take off your hands. 

“You’ll stay with us until the birth, if that’s okay,” she offered, but it sounded more like a demand. It wasn’t a harsh or cruel one. Even if you slept on the rickety couch you were lounging upon now, it would be better than camping in the woods, sleeping on the hard ground like you’d been doing only a month ago. 

“I’ll do whatever you want me to.”

Your contact was happy to see both ends so receptive. She’d never seen a deal containing human life go down this smoothly. Probably because this was a bit more sensitive of an exchange. 

“Good… that’s good. I’ve heard you’re interested in a closed adoption?” 

You glanced down at your stomach, feeling the weight of it, crushing inwards on the rest of your body. Having this baby and giving it away will relieve the weight both physically and metaphorically. They’ll be in good hands, better than your own could ever be. 

“I think it’s probably best. I used to have siblings, but I never really took care of them… I’m not sure I could do this,” You shook your head. You saw her younger son peeking his head out of the bedroom door in the corner, backing away as soon as you caught him. Even in an apocalypse, a child can be happy… just not with you. “I want to give them their best chance.”

“I understand…  and we’re going to do our best to make sure they have a normal childhood,” she responded, leaning forward and placing a comforting hand on your knee. 

“Thank you…”

You had sat down on one of the containment units, feeling as though the adrenaline rush from the ambush was beginning to wear off. Tommy found Maria not far away from where you were sitting, and began to ask his special favor. It was crazy, he knew it, you knew it… but it had to be done. This girl was somehow important, to the fireflies and to all of mankind, and you were starting to wonder why. Joel hadn’t said a word, sitting across from you and awaiting the news that would surely come from his brother’s discussion with his wife. 

“So, you’ve been traveling with Ellie?” 

He looked up at you from his boot laces, his eyes were heavy, and he didn’t seem in the mood to talk. He was grumpy in nature, but you could tell there was more underneath the tough exterior.

“I have.” And no further explanation was given. 

You didn’t think it was best to keep trying your luck, keep on asking him questions. He wasn’t the talking type and you figured you’d be wasting your time… but speak of the devil, Ellie came up to him just as the conversation between Tommy and Maria was getting heated. 

“What’s that all about?” She nodded in their direction. She looked scared, like a deer caught in headlights, just not as frozen. Wide eyed and unable to look away from the scene. “Does that have anything to do with me?” 

She was smart, she’d pick up on the words they were saying - more like yelling - to each other. The context clues were there, Joel would have to be an idiot to think she’d just let him off the hook. 

“We’ll talk about it later…” he grumbled, his annoyance already at a high from your unimportant questions and the fighting in the background. 

“Did he tell you where the lab is?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowing as she got even closer to hear them. 

The lab? Is that where the fireflies would be? You vaguely remember the days you spent with the resistance group, but you don’t remember anything about a lab…

“We’ll talk about it later,” he repeated himself, almost as a warning. 

She turned to Tommy and Maria, then back to Joel, her face one of distrust and sadness. She knew, she could tell. Joel was trying to get rid of her. 

You wanted to say something, to jump in and tell her that she didn’t need to be scared, didn’t need to be worried about where she was going. That you would go with her and it would be okay… but that wouldn’t help a damn thing. Even if you turn out to be her biological mother, you are most definitely not her mom, and cannot console her as one.

“Later… right,” she trailed, backing away from Joel and off to another sectional of the checkpoint. 

Joel looked back to you, your eyes already on him. 

He sighed, at first not saying a word… but when he made a full rotation of his eyeline and you were still staring holes into him, he had to speak up. 

“If you’re lookin’ to judge me, then just-.” 

“I’m not.” 

Your interruption cut him off, and he didn’t really know what else to say. He nodded, not looking away from you, but rather trying to figure out what it is you needed from him. Your stare was not discomforting but it felt demanding. It wanted something.

“How long have you known her?” You finally spit out, tucking a leg under your elbow as you sat back. You knew you’d gotten his attention, now. 

“Few months, now. I’m supposed to take her to the fireflies as a favor to someone.” 

“What do the fireflies want with a fourteen year old kid?” 

He sighed, raising his shoulders in a shrug like he didn’t know. He must’ve been lying, right? You’d gotten pretty good at reading people, but for some reason you couldn’t tell with him. Maybe you just didn’t know him well enough… 

“M’not really sure. All I knew in the beginning was that I could get paid pretty well, so I took her.”

You nodded. He didn’t seem like the person that did things for the sake of them, Tommy had told you stories about him, the things he used to do. If it was for his survival, he’d do it… but just for the sake of getting paid? When barely anything left had real monetary value? It sounded like bullshit. 

“She seems to trust you an awful lot,” you gestured between him and the empty space she’d left. 

There was another beat of silence, to which he didn’t use for reply. Instead he sat, his back curled over and his shoulders sunken inwards. He was tired, he was worn. He needed to rest, but this life wouldn’t let him.

“She knows you’re handing her off…”

“I reckon she does, yeah.” 

And right over your shoulder you heard the climax of Tommy and Maria’s argument. She held a pointed finger in his face, before he finally insisted on Joel’s plan. She couldn’t move him. He was going to do this whether she liked it or not… which is something you haven’t seen out of Tommy for years. Joel must mean a hell of a lot to him, to up and leave Maria on a dangerous errand like this. 

You stay seated when Maria walks over to Joel, and then when Joel stands up to talk to Tommy. You stay seated and think… I can keep Tommy safe. I’ve got nothing to lose, and everything to gain from learning about this girl. I can bring him home to Maria, even if it means my life. 

But you immediately stand when you hear Tommy’s rapid speech. “That girl of yours. she took one of our horses and rode off,” and then he glanced at you with an eyeroll. “She took provoker…”

You huffed a sigh, following the men over to the front of the sectional, the open trail up ahead. Maria was mad at Tommy, so obviously she wouldn’t be accompanying them… and that left you. Casper didn’t like men. 

“Damnit, which way?” Joel asked, his steps were heavy on the muddy ground. 

“I just saw her riding out of here!” Terry yelled, loosening the reins on two more horses he’d brought over for assistance. 

“Alright, get back inside, help the others clean the place up,” Tommy told the man, nodding for you to mount the back of his horse after he’d climbed up himself. You chanced a look at Joel, riding across from you both. His face was mixed with anger and determination, and it reminded you of what Tommy looked like after hours of hunting. They were the epitome of brothers, though you’d never met the other half before. 

You all followed the tracks, leading every which way it seemed. Some of the tracks were fresh, and some were older, but it was hard to tell when the grounds here were moist all the time, never really drying up and creating lasting prints on the dirt. 

After a while of riding, and running into some raiders - who were easily fended off - you saw your horse standing in front of an old farmhouse, the reins tied to a pole holding up the roof of the porch. You jumped from Tommy’s mare and ran up to Casper, petting his mane and making sure he was alright. There didn’t seem to be a scratch on him. 

You watched Joel enter the house, waiting back with Tommy. Even though Joel was the one she ran away from, you couldn’t imagine she’d be thrilled to see you or Tommy instead. Joel had a good reason to do what he did. He didn’t feel strong enough or fast enough for this job anymore. He didn’t feel like he could keep her safe. You unfortunately understood that feeling a little too well, and if you were correct on your suspicions, it would have been with the exact same kid. 

Tommy unstrapped his gun from his back, holding it steady and watching the surroundings whilst he leaned against the porch beam you were standing by. He was trying to gage whether or not your horse was calm enough for him to approach you closer, knowing what would happen if he wasn’t. 

“I think you’re right, you know…” He trailed, his voice quiet on the off chance of an open window. 

“You do?” 

You turned to him, you didn’t exactly have to think twice about what he meant. 

“Yeah,” he nodded, a chuckle falling from his lips. “It makes sense… the timing n’ everything. She looks a hell of a lot like you… and she’s caused about as much trouble today as the first time I met you.”

“Causing trouble is genetic?” You laughed, your eyes watering a bit at the implications he made. She might be yours. Your daughter, who you didn’t think you’d see again. 

“Hell, it might be. Your kinda trouble, anyway… stealin’ horses and shit.”

The nod of your head was slow, the thought of this all sinking in. It made perfect sense and yet coming to terms with the facts of ‘it is’ instead of ‘it could be’ makes you feel light headed.

You didn’t know if he was being serious or if he was just trying to make you feel better, but the look on his face told you the former. He wouldn’t just lie to you, he knew you could read him. 

“I keep turning it over in my head, tryin’ to think of ways I could prove it to myself… I think just seein’ her was enough for me. I’m remembering things I thought I forgot about a long time ago.”

Now it was his turn to nod, but your moment was caught short when you heard a branch snap around the corner. You instinctively pulled your gun from your pants, holding it out in the direction the snap came from. Tommy raised his rifle, doing the same and gesturing for you to go inside. You both made it in the doorway before the threat made itself known. Two guys, coming around the corner. They hadn’t realized you were watching them yet, but they did a quick scan, making sure there wasn’t any immediate danger. 

“Get upstairs,” he said in a whisper, but you snapped your head to face him. 

“No way, the odds are even if I stay,” you argued, but he wasn’t exactly in the mood for a fight right now. It was too risky to have you both down here. 

“Go tell Joel to get his ass down here, you stay up with the kid.” 

“Like hell I’m going up there. Your brother scares me,” you say in a half joking mumble, keeping watch on the two strangers that were now surrounding your horse. They were about to get kicked in the ass if they didn’t step away. 

Tommy realizes that them being distracted gives a good amount of time to leave without cover. 

“Alright, but you first,” he shrugged a shoulder towards the staircase, and with one last glance to your horse, you left your corner by the window. 

You quickly ran up the stairs, ducking a head in a few rooms before finding the one Joel and Ellie were in. 

“Get it together, we’re not alone,” Tommy said as soon as you got inside the door.

“I got two walking in,” Joel leaned towards the sliding window to get some eyes on the situation. 

“There’s more inside already…”

 You backed against the door, Tommy against the dresser on the opposite side. Joel stepped over in front of you, and Ellie behind Tommy. You didn’t realize until now, but taking a glance at Ellie, she looked even worse than when she left. Her face was sullen and her head was dropped. She didn’t seem to be snapping into reality, even with the weight of the situation. 

You stayed by her throughout the house, when Tommy and Joel started shooting, you stood in front of her, covering them from back behind. It was weird, these maternal feelings that had never sparked within you before, only now arising for this specific human that had no clue who you were. 

Once outside, it seemed strange. The dynamic between the four of you was so incredibly awkward. Everyone was thinking on a different topic, and the silence could echo on for miles. You nodded for Ellie to mount the back of your horse, since she didn’t seem comfortable to ride with Joel for the time being. She climbed up behind you and for a second you smiled, because this is your daughter, you know it… but soon after, your mind quickly succumbed to the general silence.

The nature and scenery surrounding you seemed to be duller than before, the pretty autumnal colors becoming ugly in the sense that you didn’t appreciate them right now. You loved the beginning of fall, but the feelings spread among you are tense and terrible, worse than raking up the fallen leaves before winter. 

The feeling never leaves, it stays until you all reach the edge of the town. 

-

“I’m not hungry,” you swore, shoving the extra plate of food away from your placemat.

Manxine’s husband was hungry, and you’d noticed him and his wife being decent enough to give you some of their food the past few days. It wasn’t necessary, because you weren’t working, and you weren’t barely helping them. They were helping you, and you couldn’t be more grateful. Taking extra food that wasn’t just lying around felt like stealing. You’d never been a stranger to it before, but these people were far too kind, too gentle. They made you feel like maybe the world wasn’t completely at its end. It still turned, and people were still good, despite everything. 

“Yes you are, and you should be,” Maxine pushed the plate back in front of you. Her goal had been to ‘put a little meat on your bones’ as long as you were under her roof. 

“I’m fine, I promise.”

“Promise or no promise, you need to eat more. You’re still too thin to try and survive childbirth, ya hear?” She put the old fork back into your open hand, and you sighed. It was sometimes hard to eat more than you normally did, on the account of your body not being used to it. If you ate more than usual would it make you sick? If you threw up the extra rations they were spotting you, you’d feel terrible, but she kept insisting. 

You opened your mouth to take a bite, swallowing it down and feeling the slight discomfort start to settle. Already you’d been eating a lot more than before the QZ, and you didn’t realize how slowly your appetite would have to grow. 

After a few more bites you had to drop the fork to your plate, feeling too full already to keep on. You felt terrible, refusing extra portions that were meant to keep you healthy. Whether or not it was caused by the pregnancy hormones, or just your own emotional breakdown, you weren’t sure… but you started tearing up while sitting at the table. 

“I’m sorry,” you shook your head, covering your mouth and sitting back while the tears rolled down. 

“Don’t you apologize, sweetheart,” Maxine uttered softly, her presence at your side immediately. 

To her, none of this effort was wasted, or overdone. She and her husband, though some of the better off people in the QZ by job merritt, couldn’t seem to have another baby. It wasn’t for the lack of trying, or stress that they couldn’t afford it. It was simply the fact that after six years from their last child, they couldn’t conceive another. This baby, your baby, was going to be a gift to them. They were happy to take any necessary steps into getting you to childbirth. 

“I just can’t eat anymore,” you tried to justify your emotions, but now it only looked like an overreaction. People are dying without food, and here you are, crying about there being too much. 

“It’s alright. Leftovers don’t go to waste in this house,” she spoke, a bit of a chuckle in her tone, which alleviated some of the pressure you felt. 

“Okay,” you nodded, letting her take your plate to the other room, likely where her husband had retired to. 

The campfire was crackling, the smoke filling the hazy navy color of the dark sky. Trees had covered it mostly, but there were a few stars peaking here and there. You’d just finished a can of chicken soup, tossing it on the pile that had been started by the others. It was crazy, how you suddenly remembered so much, just by eating food out of a can again. Days on the run, with the fireflies, being a raider even… it all came back. 

It had only been a few hours or so since leaving Jackson, but after the fiasco of today, the three of you had gotten extremely tired a lot earlier than you should have. 

The three of you meaning: Yourself, Joel and Ellie. 

After the silence of the horse ride back to the commune, something had changed. Joel realized not only what Ellie meant to him, but what he means to Ellie. He’d decided Tommy was no longer required, and that he could fare the journey on his own. Of course, you immediately volunteered an extra pair of hands and a quick gun as assistance. To your surprise, it was Ellie who was your greatest advocate. Her, and the fact that you remembered the lab’s location, could probably get her there on your own if you had to. 

The mirror building… you don’t remember it being a lab, but as soon as Tommy said the words it jogged your memory.

Now you were here, sitting with your back against a log, and staring holes into the shoulder of a fourteen year old girl. 

“Whatch’u lookin’ at?” Joel asked, his arms crossed over his chest as he lazily reclined against a tree. 

You only looked away for a second, too fixated on what was just barely peeking over the collar of Ellie’s shirt and jacket. It had fallen down a bit when she laid down to sleep.

“Nothin’,” you shrugged it off. He was a man of few words, surely he’d drop it on account of having to speak more if he didn’t… but God help him, he’s like a damn cat, his curiosity could kill him. 

“You’re very focused on nothin’,” he teased. There was something off about you with Ellie, he’d taken notice of it. He didn’t know what it was about but it didn’t seem like a danger.

You rolled your eyes over to him, but could tell by his glance back that he wouldn’t quit. He’d already volunteered to take the first watch, and he had nothing else better to do. 

“It’s a long story, you’d get bored.”

But again, he had nothing better to do. 

“Try me,” he raised his shoulders in a shrug of his own. He seemed much more docile of a creature in this setting. The early hours of night, so quiet, and dimly lit. His voice was gentle and his features were soft. He was relaxed.

You took a deep inhale, trying to brace yourself for whatever came of this. He was a fresh face, someone new to explain an old wound to. The scar had finally healed and you were about to dig a blade back through and rip it open… but you suppose you’d sharpened the knife by coming along in the first place. 

“I think Ellie’s my daughter,” you breathed out, not checking for a reaction until he’d been silent too long. His eyes were narrow, and he tilted his head, looking between you two. She was fast asleep by now, but he had a picture of her in his head, comparing it to you. 

“You’re shittin’ me, right?” 

You blew out another long breath, shaking your head and rolling your eyes. He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t know this feeling you have or the fact that you’ve never felt it before. He doesn’t understand that you’d come to peace with the fact that you’d never see her again, and then she appeared like a ghost from your past. You thought she was your past self at first, taunting you, making fun of who you were now. 

“I ain’t shittin’ you.”

You were fine to leave it at that, but he sure as hell wasn’t. For a guy that hated long conversations, he seemed to like poking around in your business. 

“And what makes you think that?” 

You honestly didn’t want to tell him. He’s not Tommy, he might make fun of you, might store away the information later on and use it against you. You have no idea, actually. You don’t know him. 

You let your eyes flick up to the stars, hoping by some miracle they will fall from the heavens in the form of angels to give you a message, that message being: shut the fuck up and don’t spill your guts to a man you met this morning. 

“When I was thirteen, I was by myself. I fell into a weird group of people that could probably be considered a cult. There was this one guy that treated me better than the others…” you trailed off, not sure if you’re ready to rehash all of this. But it’s been a long time since you talked about it. You need to get it off your chest if you’re to somehow make a relationship with the product of your past. “He was in his twenties, so a lot younger than most people in the group. Pretty sure I was the youngest. I didn’t realize he was using me.”

Joel was tense, but not because he was uncomfortable… he was genuinely invested. Wanted to know this story and how it connected with Ellie. His Ellie.

“We left the group, and I found out I was pregnant a few months later. I’d barely had my cycle a fucking year… wasn’t even sure what it meant when I didn’t get it. Anyways,” you had to stifle a laugh, because just looking back… what the actual hell? You kept blinking to make sure no tears escaped in front of this man. You weren’t there yet with him. “I think he just lost all interest in me after that. He didn’t really speak to me unless it was necessary, and wouldn't look at me. Stuff like that.”

But that wasn’t the worst part, and Joel knew you were working your way up to it. 

“Before I was pregnant I used to sneak into places most people couldn’t. I was real skinny like that. Was able to smuggle stuff in and out of different QZs across the country. We peddled rare narcotics for the most part… but I had to stop when I, you know…” you made a round hand motion around your stomach, hoping he got the jist. “I didn’t fit in the smaller spaces.”

“What kind of narcotics?” Joel finally asked a question, and it wasn’t really the one you were hoping for… but you understood he’d probably fallen into the same scheme over the years. 

“Vicodin, mostly. Up in Princeton there was this one apartment… we’d searched it top to bottom because of how many secret hiding places there were. Vicodin everywhere. Whoever lived there was either severely addicted or preparing for the worst.”

“Maybe both.”

Yeah, probably. Damn shame he never got to use them.

“We used it as a trading token most of the time. It was actually what got us into Boston,” you waved off your tangent eventually, getting back to the story and where Ellie came in. “Pretty much gave the rest of our stash to a contact we had there… she got us a family we could hand the baby off to.” 

And now he got it. You’d been knocked up by a predator, and said predator wanted you to give up the baby so he could go about using you some more. He’d seen and done some cruel things in a post apocalyptic world, but he would never stoop that low, and grimaced at anyone who possibly could.

“I had her when I was fourteen. Lookin’ at her today was like looking in a mirror,” you rambled on, still not quite to your point. “She’s the right age, from the right location… and that birthmark on her shoulder…”

He hadn’t even noticed it all this time. Months with the kid, and he thought nothing of it. But to you, it was clarification. It was the confirming piece of evidence that pulled it all together. You’d barely taken your eyes off of it since you saw it. You wanted to make sure you weren’t seeing things. Wanted to make sure it was the right shape and placement, just so you could be sure. 

He nodded, seemingly coming to this conclusion now, too. It didn’t take him any more convincing. It was clear by now that your hunch was not just a hunch. 

“Her dad, he still… around?” 

You shook your head with a light hearted laugh. 

“No,” and you could have left it with that simple answer… but that was never much your style. “I shot him in the head.”

His low whistle cut the air, and you almost felt proud. You’d killed the one thing in life that ever hurt you directly. 

“He deserved worse.” 

“Yeah, he did.”

And then it was quiet for a minute, all the words the two of you had spoken up until now were rotating over and around in your heads to make sense of them, until he spoke up again. 

“I’m sorry,” he nearly whispered. 

“S’okay. Not your fault…” you shook it off. It’s in the past, it’s done. 

“Not yours either,” he replied, raising a brow to you. “M’just, sorry you went through that.”

He was soft, he was gentle. You supposed he was like Tommy. He didn’t judge you or make you feel inferior because of your tragic mishappenings. He just listened, and felt sympathy.

“I don’t mind it so much now… I got her back.”

And both your gazes shifted to the sleeping teenager, her breaths steady with the humming of the night around you. She has no clue, and for now you’ll have to keep it that way. 

Yeah, you think… I got her back.

-

It only took two weeks. Riding, eating, sleeping, and talking, rinse and repeat. There was the odd occasion of dealing with infected, but they were never in large groups, and cleared out easily. 

You remembered exactly where to go when you entered the city limits, guiding them towards the college campus you once lived in as a firefly. It was almost ten years ago, but you remember it pretty well. It’s where you met Tommy. Not in the lab, obviously. You’d both been put on security detail one morning, having never met beforehand. He proceeded to ‘teach you’ how to shoot a rifle properly, only to find you could hit a perfect bullseye on your first shot. Probably because your dad was a man who loved his guns, and you’d been shooting one since you were a kid before the outbreak. He laughed about it, and you two were friends ever since. 

“Are you getting any of this?” Ellie asked you, pulling you from your thoughts as you rode alongside them. 

For the last hour, Joel was attempting - and failing - to explain the rules of football to the young Miss Ellie. And she didn’t understand one lick of it, not that you blame her. You’d been to actual football games in your youth, but you couldn’t get it even then. 

“Nope, I was always more of a baseball fan…” you trailed, and smiled at the thought. Baseball was fun, you remember it well. It was your biggest obsession right before ballet, and right after fingerpainting. 

“Oh really, now?” Joel cut in, his surprise evident in his raised eyebrow and tilted gaze in your direction. 

“Yep. You’re looking at the MVP of the Acorn’s jr. little league team.” 

Ellie laughed. She didn’t know a thing about baseball either. She’d seen some old collectors cards though here and there. Apparently they used to be valuable. They were only knick knacks to anyone who saw them now. 

“What position did you play?” 

“Shortstop… or second base, technically. No shortstop in jr. little league,” you admitted. Your dad always called you shortstop, so that’s what you tell people now. Anyone who asks, at least. You can count on one hand the number of people who have. 

“Seein’ you around infected… I bet you swung like hell,” he chuckled. Ellie was still confused about the rules of the last sport, much less how to play this one… but she listened intently because Joel was interested, so she was interested too.

“I always got on base, didn’t always stay there, but always got on. Plus, I was the only kid who never picked their nose at the plate, so… Obviously I earned my title.”

“That must’ve been an amazing accomplishment. How old were you?” 

From what he understood, you’d been eight on outbreak day. You couldn’t have been too much younger to have started a sport, right?

“Probably six or seven at the time. I did ballet after, had kind of a short attention span when it came to after school activities,” you explained, a smile on your cheeks when you spoke about the things you used to love doing. You probably would still like doing some of them, had they been an option in Jackson.

“I know about ballet!” Ellie jumped in, nearly scaring Joel off the horse. “That’s the dancers that used to wear those weird shoes and shit.”

“Pointe shoes?” You chuckled, more at Joel trying to compose himself than Ellie’s funny recollection of footwear. 

“Yeah, those. They looked like torture devices in some of the paintings I saw… did you ever wear any?” 

“No, I would have had to train for about five more years to have gotten to that point. That was the dream at the time, to be a pointe ballerina. Of course, the end of the world happened…”

Joel turned to you from his forwards facing stare, a sadness in his eyes before he looked back onto the road ahead of him. Was that… pity? You were slowly learning to read him, his little mannerisms and tells that made him like everyone else, yet just a tad different, in a way that only he could be. 

“Maybe after all this is over you can teach me some steps,” she suggested, but you scoffed. 

“Maybe,” you shook your head at how funny the thought sounded in your head. You’d only danced for what? Ten months at most? And as an eight year old? “I think you’ll probably be too busy with Joel’s guitar lessons.”

She laughed it off, shaking her head and leaning it back onto Joel’s shoulder in front of her. The three of you kept along until reaching the building you remembered, but instantly it was a disappointment. The fireflies weren’t here, and likely hadn’t been for over a year. 

“This isn’t right. There should be a checkpoint set up and a security blockade surrounding the place,” you mentioned, getting off your horse and running up to the door in the front. You peeked inside, and there was no sign of life anywhere. 

“You’re kidding,” Ellie grumbled. 

Joel dismounted the horse and followed after you, looking around and trying to find any signs that they might have been here at all. 

“You sure this is the right place?” 

“Positive. I remember this building, I met Tommy right over there,” you pointed down the sidewalk, where a half torn down barricade of cement was still sitting, but just barely. You walked to the corner of the crumbling stairs and grabbed a piece of old broken up brick, chucking it through the front door in order to unlock it.

Joel chuckled for a moment at your frustration, watching the scene play out. 

“Baseball… right,” he teased, leading the way inside with you and Ellie in tow. 

-

Maxine’s boys were at Fedra school. Her husband was at work in a different sector. Maxine herself was trading ration cards for supplies. It was the first time she’d left the apartment since you’d been there, and of all days, of all mornings for it to happen… your water broke.

You were alone, and scared. You weren’t allowed to leave the apartment for fear of the neighbor’s suspicion. Maxine’s family would be torn apart by Fedra if anyone found out what was going on, so no matter how terrified you were, you couldn’t risk going outside for help.

“Not now,” you cried, the tension in the pit of your stomach slowly turning to pain when your first contraction started. “Please, kid, I’m begging.”

You suck down against the wall of the living room, trying to find a sitting position that doesn't kill you from the pain. You wished more than anything you had some of those pain pills left over from the exchange, but they would probably only hurt you right now. 

“Please, don’t,” you tried to even your breathing, the tears crawling down your cheeks at a fastening rate. “I can’t do this…” 

The walls were closing in, you weren’t prepared for this. It didn’t seem to be the right time, either… but it was happening, and there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop it. The baby was coming, and if you wanted to live to see another day, you were going to have to get your head straight, and push it out of you. 

You didn’t know how long you’d have, but from the time your water broke to the last contraction, things were moving relatively quickly. You were still on the ground against the wall, biting down on the sleeve of your shirt to try and not make noise. 

You hoped and prayed that you would not deliver this baby on your own, but it looked like that was your only option right now. They had all left around an hour ago, they would be gone all day. 

“I don’t know what to do, kid… help me out here,” you cried out again, but the baby didn’t exactly listen. You felt more weight bearing down on your lower half by the minute, and all you could do was panic.

It had happened so fast, the attack. Too fast, nothing you guys could have prepared for. It was all within minutes, and the ringing in your ears following your last gunshot seemed to put everything in slow motion. The way Ellie was yelling but you couldn’t hear it, the man that was coming up from behind you, and the one that was wrestling with Joel near the edge of the rail. 

Too fast, the man on your rear grabbed at you and pulled backwards, keeping you from being able to stop Joel’s attacker… You got trapped in a headlock, a gun to your temple, and another man was about to get Ellie. Joel and his attacker broke through the railing, tumbling over the edge and falling into God knows what. You sunk deadweight in the man’s arms, letting Ellie shoot him with her raised gun before you shot the man coming for her. 

She ran to the edge first, freezing as she looked down. You followed and peered over, unsure what you would see. 

“Shit,” you lowered yourself to a sitting position before scooting off the edge and dropping down to where he was. Your voice was in a panic “Joel?” 

He was alive, but fatally injured if you didn’t get him out of here right now. 

“I’m gonna need you to pull,” he managed to get out through gritted teeth. His face was scrunched in pain, and you knew better than anyone how hard it was to stay quiet when you’re hurting that bad. 

“You could bleed out,” you shook your head, kneeling down and flinging off your backpack. Digging through, you only have the most basic of supplies… nothing substantial enough to stop mass amounts of blood, or, worst case scenario, a deadly infection. 

“Just pull, damnit,” he grunted, offering his hand. 

By now Ellie had come down, watching in fear as the only figure of importance in her life was nearly on his deathbed. It couldn’t be exaggerated because it really was that bad. He could drop down at any moment and never get back up, but he kept pushing on. 

You did as he asked, hoisting him to a stand, letting him lean on you for support. Ellie went on ahead, leading the way as she cleared the place with her own gun. You had to assist here and there, unwilling to let Ellie get shot on account of holding Joel up on his feet. 

It was practically a miracle that any of you made it outside. Your horse had already taken care of a raider, it seemed, the man lying unconscious on the ground behind him. He likely got to close, touched him, even. Ellie shot the last obstacle standing between you and an escape, and once he was cleared, you mounted your horses, helping Joel onto his, first. 

You rode in front of them, looking for a place to take shelter. Looking for an empty house, or gas station even. Anything would work, as long as it was safer than here. You rode for miles down the road, unsure if there were people in the area. You’d finally reached a neighborhood of substantial size, with no signs of life or proof of human activity. 

But before you could even find a safe shelter…

“Joel? Joel!” 

And you quickly turned around. Joel fell off the horse, out like a light.

-

Tags: @orcasoul

[tiannasfanfic]

Weekend Moments

Eddie Munson x Reader (Fluff)

| Masterlist | AO3 Link |

Summary: With your busy schedules, any weekend where you and your boyfriend get to spend time together is a good one.

Rating: General Auidences

Author Note: Gender neutral reader, no pronouns used. I finally felt like writing again last night, which is a first for me in weeks. Hopefully this means my brain is clearing, but I'm not going to make any promises, just in case.

CW: Implied sex (no details); marijuana and tobacco use.

Word Count: 1,103

It was set to be a fun and relaxing weekend over at the Munson trailer.

Granted, every weekend over at Eddie’s was a relaxing one, but weekends together happened rarely now thanks to your schedules. After Eddie finally graduated, he went right into the work force, which was the same thing you had done two years prior.

Neither of you ever had plans for college. Neither of you had grades to go, plus you were too broke. While the local community college had financial aid programs, you weren't broke enough to qualify for any of them. Since you would rather sell your souls directly to Satan rather than take out student loans, the blue-collar life it was. You both came by it honestly though. You came from a long line of blue-collar workers, as did Eddie, and you both had accepted that as your lots in life.

For Eddie, he began working as an independent mechanic. He was very talented at it and, most of the time, charged his customers very little outside of recouping his cost for parts. Sometimes, for the truly broke, like single mothers or the elderly, he didn’t charge anything at all. He knew what it was like to not be able to afford to fix his van and helped people out as much as he could. It only took a few months before his good workmanship and affordable prices quickly made him a favorite in town.

That whole thing really struck you as ironic though. Most of his customers still thought Eddie actually DID sell his soul directly to Satan. But if he could save them money? Suddenly they had no problem treating him like an old friend, Satan worshiping be damned.

It irritated you in a way. They still didn’t treat him as well as they treated others, but at least they didn’t cross the street anymore when they saw him coming, and he would get polite words of greeting when he was out and about rather than outright ignored. You had to keep reminding yourself that at least he was finally being treated better. The reasons why didn’t really matter in the long run. Doing the right thing for the wrong reasons is still doing the right thing, and Eddie was much happier as a result. Ultimately, that’s all that really mattered to you.

And it worked out in everyone’s favor. Even without making much profit per job, Eddie stayed busy enough that he made a decent living. This was great since the two of you were saving up for your own place together.

As for you, you didn’t have nearly the technical skills that Eddie did, so your options were more limited. The local grocery store hired you right after graduation and that’s where you’ve been ever since. You started out as a cashier, but now really didn’t have an official position since you knew how to do everything. You might not have a lot of technical know-how, but you learned fast and did whatever job they gave you well, so they used you all over the store. This allowed you to pick up quite a few extra shifts, which you did as often as you could to save up money.

The downside to you both working so much was that you didn’t see each other that much as a result. While it was for the good reason of preparing for your future together, it didn’t make you miss each other any less. That was why you had both arranged your schedules this weekend so that he had no cars to look at and you had no extra shifts to cover.

And you both told exactly no one so it wouldn’t be interrupted.

Well. Less likely to be interrupted, that is. If anyone saw both Eddie’s van and your car outside of the trailer, the jig would be up. It wouldn’t take long for word to reach Dustin and your weekend alone would turn into an impromptu game night with the whole crew.

While neither of you minded when this happened, there was something that needed doing before that had the chance to happen.

As soon as Wayne left for work and the sound of his truck had faded off into the distance, Eddie wasted no time in whisking you off to the bedroom. Thanks to just normal life stuff, it had been over two weeks since you’d had any alone time. You were desperately ravenous for each other and, by the time you were on the bed, all of the clothing you both had been wearing was laid in a trail behind you to the living room.

Like all passionate displays of being ravenously desperate, neither of you lasted long. That was okay though. You and Eddie had been lovers for a long time now and knew each other’s bodies as well as you did your own. All of your escapades, no matter how short, were always intensely satisfying.

After some catching up during your post sex cigarettes, you headed for the shower and Eddie to the living room.

When you emerged from the bathroom, Eddie had found a movie to watch while he was rolling the joints you two would be having that evening. It was one of those old Hammer films with Christopher Lee that stations liked to show when they had nothing else to play. That was always to your benefit though since you both absolutely loved those movies.

As you headed across the living room to the kitchen to see what you could put together for dinner, your focus was on the television rather than on where you were walking. This resulted in your knee having an intimate encounter with the corner of the coffee table.

“Yee ouch!” you exclaimed, slightly staggering at the impact but you caught your balance quickly.

Eddie’s head snapped up with a look of concern.

“You okay, babe?” he asked.

You grumbled a confirmation as you started to continue on, but then you stopped and turned around. You looked at the coffee table thoughtfully for a second before shifting your gaze to Eddie, who was still watching you.

“You know, I can’t help but wonder sometimes why they always seem to make coffee tables kneecap height,” you said very seriously, and then went on to the kitchen.

It took Eddie a second, but soon you heard him burst into a fit of wild laughter.

“Like that one?” you called, grinning as you opened the refrigerator door.

“Oh yeah! That was great!” came Eddie’s voice, still in mid laughter.

It was definitely going to be a good weekend.

[marmorafarms]

NSFW Sebastian head canons

Hey hey hey! I shared my sfw head canons with all y'all regarding our number one boy Sebastian. But it has come to my attention that some nsfw ones should be shared as well!

I definitely have some spicy thoughts, but I'm going to put it under a read more because this post is...

18+ only! Please and thank you!

Okay now on to the fun stuff!

Okay, this first one isn't nsfw, but I need to put it here to provide context for the second bullet point. Sebastian refers to himself as "heteroflexible." That's because the only man he has ever been romantically or sexually interested in is Sam. Imagining himself with other guys makes him cringe, but Sam is different for some reason. (If your farmer is a man, he definitely has a major gay panic about it, and decides to come out as bisexual)

He discovered this in high school. He was 16, and someone made fun of him for never having kissed anyone. Sebastian complained to Sam about this when hanging out in his room after school. Sam said he could help out and give Sebastian his first kiss. After some consideration, Sebby agreed, and it ended with them both cumming in their pants after dry humping the shit out of each other.

Sebastian called himself a virgin up until he and the farmer had their first time together, specifically with penetrative sex. But he technically wasn't. He has given Sam plenty of blow jobs, and Sam has enthusiastically returned the favor.

The farmer laughed for approximately 10 hours when Sebastian told them this, and he tried to say "blow jobs don't count as sex!"

They definitely do Sebby. You just meant you hadn't had penetrative sex.

Sebby has what Sam calls "dick sucking lips." His mouth is definitely pretty. His lips are nice and full, and he likes having his lower lip bitten.

His nipples are super sensitive. He loves having them touched, licked, bitten, and sucked on. He can come untouched from nipple stimulation alone.

He loves giving oral. Pussy or dick, he doesn't care. He LOVES IT. He especially likes eating pussy because he can just keep going and give his partner multiple orgasms if they let him.

If he's sucking dick, he swallows every time. If his partner wants to give him a facial, he always sticks his tongue out in the hopes of getting some in his mouth

He is always down for a threesome. His preferred third is either Sam or Haley. The farmer is shocked by the revelation that he's dtf Haley, but Sebastian says it's because she's a freak in bed. Or so he's heard. And as it turns out, the rumors are very much true.

He enjoys getting pegged. He enjoys it A LOT.

Anal was never something that had even crossed Sebastian's mind, and he was against it as soon as it was suggested. This is true no matter what junk your farmer has. He doesn't see the appeal and doesn't think there is any way it could feel good.

When the farmer tells him about prostate stimulation, he agrees to try being fingered, but chickens out the first few times. But when it finally happens...he's obsessed.

He's pretty submissive in bed, but is a great dom when asked to play that role.

Loves tying people up and being tied up.

Likes breath play, but was insistent about doing copious amounts of research on how to do it properly.

He prefers to be the one choked, but will do it for you if you ask. Again, he refused to do it until he was positive he knew what he was doing.

Getting his hair pulled is a huge turn on for him. He will let out a truly pornographic moan if you pull it hard.

He does not like face fucking others, but enjoys having it done to him.

Sit on his face. Just do it. He absolutely loves it and will hold your hips TIGHT so that you can't budge an inch once your pussy is on his mouth.

His dick is on the thicker side, and he's a bit longer than average. He wouldn't refer to himself as hung, but he's a good size.

Going bareback was a goddamn religious experience for him, but it completely ruined sex with a condom for him. He'll wear one without complaint if asked, but it takes him a lot longer to even feel good, let alone cum.

Can and will wear anything you want him to. Costumes? Whatever you want. Lingerie? Just tell him your favorite color.

Loves to make out. Like yes, fucking is great, but he absolutely adores long make out sessions. They don't have to end with orgasms, but he won't complain if they do.

Has a huge thing for formal wear. As soon as you entered the farmhouse after the wedding, he was all over you.

Loves to take sex slow, but isn't opposed to a quickie if that's what you're in the mood for.

And that's what I have for right now! Let me know what you think!

[clericofshadows]

relaxation

Description: ME1 ERA - After a rough mission, Regis helps Kaidan relax.

Pairing: Regis Shepard/Kaidan Alenko, past Regis Shepard/Kaidan Alenko/Zaeed Massani

Rating: E (Tags: Rimming, Anal Plug, Anal Sex)

As Regis settled down under the sheets, about the curl up next to Kaidan, he realized that he felt tense around him, almost as if he was ready to flee.  With a quiet huff, he flicked open his omnitool and turned on the lights to a low dim in the cabin, trying not to grin while Kaidan let out a low groan. 

“Seriously, Regis,” he murmured, rolling onto his back. “What's wrong?”

“I should be asking you that,” he replied, sitting up, throwing the sheets off. “You've been off all evening.”

“Nothing escapes your notice,” Kaidan said quietly, a hint of bitterness leeching in.

“I could say the same thing about you,” Regis said with a pointed look. “You get on my case for not talking about shit, so let's have it.”

Kaidan sat up next to him, rubbing at his eyes. “The last mission we went on. It's got me… I don't know.  I don't like facing our own, even less knowing what our implants could do to us.”

They knew the delicacy of the mission walking in.  A chairman held hostage by biotic terrorists for refusing reparations for L2 biotics after all the mishandling. 

Regis couldn't quite bring himself to feel sorry for Burns, if only because a lot of shit could've been avoided if he actually listened to their plight.  Took two L2s who were “well adjusted” to get it in his head that maybe L2s did deserve something for what humanity did in their race to meet the rest of the galaxy head on. 

The lucky ones ended up in the Alliance, ensuring a paycheck and decent healthcare because the Alliance takes care of their most favored assets. 

Regis knew it was hard for some older biotics to even get a normal job.  Everyone knows the gens. 

L1s that can barely create a spark.  L2s that can blow up the world, risking blowing up themselves in the process. 

The L3s were just right.  A balance of normalcy and alien power, almost enough to them to live a normal life if they pleased. 

Yeah, he wasn't exactly surprised to see Kaidan thinking about what happened today. 

“I don't like it either,” he admitted. “I know we tried to subdue as many as possible. We did what we could.”

Kaidan let out what sounded like a snort.  “I wonder how much we'll get out of it.”

If it manages to get through even after this… Regis wasn't a fan of the implications of Burns acquiescing to the terrorists’ demands, potentially painting biotics in an even worse light despite being saved by Alliance biotics. 

And what are the chances that will be left out of the reports?

“Probably going to exclude Alliance L2s somehow,” Regis bitterly replied, watching as a small, wry smile formed on Kaidan’s face. “See, you are a cynic!”

“Only with you,” he replied, rolling his eyes. “I never expected to have to deal with our issues on this mission, that's all.”

Regis hummed. “Alliance is taking advantage of my position. I can't exactly fault them for that. I'd do the same.”

“I know.” He let out a sigh. “I'm not sure what has gotten me all out of shape. Mind’s going a thousand miles a minute.”

Kaidan could easily get lost in his head.  So could Regis, to be fair, but he tended to dwell more on what could've been far more than Regis ever cared to. 

Perhaps he saw them in those biotics’ places. If he didn't have a support system, a family, a lover, who was there nearly every step of the way, that could’ve been his fate.

Regis wasn't going to press him on it.  He's the addict out of the two of them, his red sand Astra cigarettes waiting to be smoked, sitting on their bedside table. 

Even with Kaidan, even with his asari matriach uncle, Vikram, he's never been able to shake that habit after all the red sand exposure he obtained at BAaT.

And Vikram was the one that introduced the Astras to him in the first place. All so his mother wouldn't get blowback from her son being a red sand addict... if it were to come out how bad BAaT was for some.

“We were lucky.”

“That we were. If you could even call it that.”

“I think we've earned it. You, most of all, have, that's for damn sure.”

Kaidan frowned. Regis hit a nerve. 

Sue him for wanting Kaidan to get the rest he deserves after the bullshit with Vyrnnus. 

But, to his surprise, he didn't protest. Must really be a bad night. 

He decided to take the conversation in a different direction, moving closer and cupping his face. “Do you need me to take care of you tonight?”

Kaidan closed his eyes, leaning into his touch.  His voice shuddered, nearly breathy. “Yeah, yeah that's what I need.” 

It’s been more than a few days since they’ve gone further than kissing and cuddling and teasing touches in the shower.   Perhaps this was something they both needed.

Regis nodded, moving in to kiss him softly, slowly on the lips.  Tenderness, gentleness, something easy and comforting.  The heat could come later. 

Kaidan let him take the lead, moving to sit in his lap and be pushed up against their pillows, breathing in each other's love and scent. 

“I have an idea,” Regis said, against his lips, stopping to kiss at his neck, a sensitive spot underneath his ear that made him shudder. 

“Yeah?” Kaidan said, voice strained. “What do you got for me?”

“Vik taught me how to use my biotics for deep massages. There's a bottle of oil in the bathroom,” he started, motioning over to their private suite. 

“And you're telling me you can do this now?” Kaidan let out a laugh, almost sounding offended if it weren't for the loving look he gave him. “Holding out on me.”

“To be fair I've only practiced on myself and them. It's not an easy practice.  Hell, you'll be far better at it than me with all that sexy control you've got going on,” Regis said, feeling a little embarrassed in the moment. “It's not like I wanted to keep it from you. I just… forgot.”

“We've had a lot of shit happen these past couple of months. I think I can give you a little grace.” Kaidan climbed off his lap, brushing a hand against Regis's covered cock. “I'll be waiting,” he purred, stretching himself on the bed.

Regis bit back a groan.  Before he got up, an idea came to mind. “Would you like something else?”

“Something else?” He raised an eyebrow.

Regis’s gaze went to his boxers. “Do you want more than a massage out of this?  I could… plug you up.  Get you all prepped and ready for me.” He felt his cheeks warm up at his own words, always a little flustered by his own talk, his purring, raspy words and promises.  

Kaidan let out a little moan at the suggestion. “I should let you take charge more often, love.”

Regis moved in to kiss him once more before getting up. “I like our arrangement just fine.”

“I never get tired of pulling those sounds out of you.  But… it's nice on the other side, on occasion.” Kaidan rolled over to lie on his stomach, slipping off his boxers.  Regis licked his lips at the sight, turning around before his plans changed.  

He entered the bathroom and grabbed the bottle of massage oil, mostly saved for tight muscles after hard missions.  He reached under the cabinet and grabbed their small box of toys.  Something utterly unnecessary for this mission, but he couldn't help but want to have some on hand. 

At the time, he was just supposed to be an XO, and he and Kaidan couldn't be out and open. 

How things have changed…

The lube was kept in their nightstand, so he grabbed a couple of towels before closing the door to the suite behind him, supplies in hand.

“I'm going to lay some towels down,” Regis said, putting them on his side of the bed and prompting Kaidan to lie on top of them after setting down the rest of his supplies.

“Worried I'll make a mess?” He teased, resting his head on his arms. 

“If you want to help me change the sheets afterwards, all you have to do is tell me,” Regis chuckled.  He reached out for the lube sitting on the nightstand, and opened the drawer to grab a condom. “Safe word?”

“Talons,” Kaidan said, dutifully. “If I can't speak, I'll tap you three times. And yours?”

Regis closed his eyes briefly before opening them.  “Space.  I’ll tap three times if I can’t speak.  I’ll use our traffic light system through this.  This can… get intense.”

Every time they try and go through the motions.  They may not always do it, but on quiet, restless nights like these, they are needed more than ever.  They know what they want and need, they know the things that are hard stops… but checking in is how they show their love.

“If it's anything like the times you suspend me with your biotics, I look forward to it.”

“I know you do.”  Regis ghosted his fingertips against the nape of his neck where he knew his amp port laid underneath the skin, feeling him shiver underneath his touch.  “Thinking of a moment in particular?”

“The one time you fucked me while Massani watched,” Kaidan said with a pleased hum.  “Keeping my arms above me with a modified stasis.  Using my own damn corona against me.  Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking of.”

He kissed at a spot between his shoulder blades.  That was a good time.  An ill-advised shore leave on Omega that turned into more for a brief moment.  

They should call him, see how he’s doing.  Been a few days since they’ve heard from him.  

It’s been fun keeping Zaeed up to date on their missions on the SR-1, but it was also a reminder of what could’ve been.

A regret Regis still has today.  They should’ve been honest, they should’ve tried to make them work beyond Omega and vorcha mafia bullshit and bottles of expensive, disgusting whiskey.

“Maybe when this mission is over… we could invite him over for some drinks,” Regis said, kissing down his back, slowly making his way down.

“Just drinks?” He could hear the amusement from a mile away.

“You and I both know it’s never just drinks with us.”  Regis reached for the small box.  “Dealer’s choice?  Or do you have a preference tonight?”

“Medium size.  I’m not you,” He laughed.  It’s true.  While they both enjoyed being fucked and full–Regis more than him–he wasn’t as much of a fan of larger toys.  

“Of course.” Regis glanced at the plugs.  There was the medium that was short and would barely brush against his prostate, or the longer medium that could keep teasing him.  Looking between them, he grabbed the requested medium plug–the shorter one–and put the box back on the table.  “Relax for me, love.”  Regis kept the lube in easy reach, but decided to surprise Kaidan.  He dragged his fingers down the cleft of his ass, ghosting over his hole before leaning in and claiming it with his mouth, spreading his cheeks apart with his hands. 

“Fuck!” Kaidan yelled as Regis stuck his tongue inside, getting his hole nice and wet.  He chuckled from his position, temporarily letting up to press a kiss just above his hole.

“Too much?”

“Hell no, keep going,” Kaidan said, his voice strained.

Regis continued to circle the rim with his tongue, taking his time to eat him out and get part of him to relax.  Feeling the tension underneath his grip on his hips, he almost wanted to make him come already before giving him his promised massage.

But not yet.

Regis was an impatient bastard most of the time, but when it came to pleasuring Kaidan?

He could take all the time he needs.  

When Kaidan let out a higher pitched whine, Regis pulled away and reached for the lube.  “Still green?”

“Will be even greener if you plug me up already,” he said with a huff, always a little mouthy in this position.

Regis obliged, coating a finger with lube and easing it in, joining in with a second soon enough, already pliant and loose after his earlier ministrations.  Kaidan started to push back against his fingers as he stretched him, impatient and ready for more.  To be expected, of course.  Regis joined in with a third, angling them just right until he teased his prostate, waiting to hear him moan beautifully and without restraint.  

By the time he started groaning his name, Regis felt he was ready, and pulled his fingers out.  Kaidan whined briefly.   He shushed him, taking a second to coat the plug with lube and pushed it inside, watching his hole greedily close around it.  “Someone was needy,” Regis said, echoing the words Kaidan usually says about him.

Kaidan let out a pleased sigh.  “I know where you’re going with that.”

“Do you?” Regis grinned despite knowing he wasn’t looking at him.  Wiping his hands on the towel, he reached for the oil.  “How’s it feeling?”

Kaidan wiggled his ass.  “You’re a bastard for not grabbing the longer one.”

“You weren’t specific.  You only said medium.”

“I feel like you’re punishing me,” Kaidan huffed out a laugh.  “This side of you should come out more often.”

“Don’t talk to me when you’re feeling off and we’ll see where it goes.”

“Hah.  Love you,” Kaidan said, twisting around to look back at him.  

“I love you too.  Ready for the main event?”

“Do I need to keep a handle on my biotics?  Don’t want Adams getting smug on us again.”

Adams putting up that board in engineering was one of the funniest and also frustrating things ever.  Always thinking about how they might flare and throw off the sensors or throw false positive errors on the eezo core.  

Regis knew the board was at two weeks now without a false positive error caused by their biotics.  He’d like to keep the streak going.

“You’ll react to my corona and mechanisms, that’s for sure, but we had a good fight today.  Unless you really let loose,” Regis said, reaching for the bottle.  Kaidan settled back on his stomach, humming and content with his answer.

Regis knew he wasn’t bothered about the board either,

He poured some of the oil on his hands, rubbing them together before starting at his shoulders, working the muscle with just his hands at first.  The oil was a warming one, a pleasant feeling scenting of vanilla.  Kaidan let out a groan as he targeted a wound up spot.  “I’m about to go in with my biotics.”

“Go for it,” he groaned.  “Fuck, that feels good.  Didn’t realize I was that wound up already.”

Regis wanted to say he was always tightly wound, but he refrained for now.  “It's been stressful lately.”

Kaidan hummed, letting out another sharp gasp as Regis attacked another knot.  He stilled his motions for a moment, cupping his hand slightly before pushing dark energy through, imagining the anatomy underneath his skin and twisting the energy into his desired target.  At that, Kaidan’s corona lit up in a bright blue, reacting to Regis’s purple biotics, twisting together in wisps of fantastical color.  Regis continued to massage, now feeling the spot loose and more pliant than before, sinking dark energy into the skin.

All Kaidan did was moan, grasping the sheets tightly, his biotics framing his body. “Gah… You're teaching me how to do that.  Wow.”

“Feels good, right?” 

“Damn good.  Ugh, I'm going to be useless tomorrow,” he groaned. 

Regis leaned in to kiss him on the nape of his neck. “I can take you off the roster for a bit.  Call it a short leave after our mission yesterday.”

“I may take you up on that…” he laughed. “Keep going.”

For a moment, Regis almost asked for a please to go along with that command.  But he decided against it, enjoying his lover's reaction to his new talent.  He continued on, first using the oil and his hands, and then following up with his biotics, removing all the tension and tightness down his back. 

By the time Regis had made his way all down his back, Kaidan had started to lazily thrust up against the sheets, chasing his release.  Regis grabbed his hips, manhandling him to get on his hands and knees. “I won't fuck you if you keep that up.”

His cock was hard, leaking pre-come and left a visible wet spot on the towels. Kaidan wiggled his ass, his hands tightly grabbing the sheets.  He was covered in sweat and oil, smelling of vanilla and sex. His eyes were blown with lust and biotics, a mix of brown, blue, and black. “Regis, please. Let me come,” he pleaded. “Take this damn plug out and fuck me!”

Regis took off his briefs, taking his own cock in hand and bringing it to full hardness, stroking it fast and rough. He brushed a hand against the plug in his ass, tugging on it without pulling it out, drawing out more moans from Kaidan, enjoying how vocal he was tonight. 

With one last tease, he pulled it out and replaced it with three lubed fingers, giving him no time to cry out at the lack of being filled. He thrusted a few times, ensuring he was stretched enough for him. 

Regis loved getting fucked by Kaidan because his cock was long and curved in the most delicious of ways, able to angle and hit his prostate without any tricks.  Regis’s was shorter, but thicker.  And while Kaidan didn't enjoy larger toys, he loved the rare occasions he would get fucked by him, preferring the stretch and burn of a thick cock instead of a cold toy. 

Regis rolled on a condom and brushed his fingers against his back one last time, before grabbing onto his hips and sinking into his stretched hole with a moan.  Kaidan groaned his name, long and drawn out, throwing his head back and pulling at the sheets as Regis sank into him from behind. 

It’s been too damn long since he's done this.  He won't last long, feeling his tight, warm heat around him.

He gave him a moment to adjust, knowing it's been a long white since Kaidan’s been fucked beyond a little fingering.  A part of him regretted their position, wanting to see his face as he took him apart.

Next time, perhaps.  

With one uttered word from Kaidan, breathless and full of want, Regis began to fuck him in earnest.  “Green,” he moaned, pushing back and trying to force Regis to move. 

Green, Regis thought, as he took him apart, fucking him long and slow, keeping in mind the purpose of the night.  Relaxation.  Releasing tension.  Feeling good. 

It wouldn't take much more.  Legs shaking, voices growing in desperation.  “Please,” Kaidan moaned, knuckles white and straining in his grip. 

Regis snapped his hips harder, burying himself as deep as he could, reaching out for Kaidan's dick, starting to stroke it in time with his thrusts. 

Kaidan cried out, wisps of blue surrounding him before winking out as he gasped his name, spilling all over his hand.  The rush of his biotics reached Regis, a stinging lash of sensation, and he spilled inside of the condom, groaning incoherently as his hips shuddered and stopped, chasing that last hit of pleasure until it was too much. 

He stayed inside him briefly, leaning in to kiss him at the nape of his neck, tasting the sweaty, salty skin and inhaling the scent of the vanilla oil mixed with sex, intoxicating and addicting. 

When Kaidan let out a whine, Regis took that as time to pull out, knowing he was likely just as overstimulated as him. Tugging off the condom, he wrapped it up and tossed it in the nearby bin. 

His hand was still covered in Kaidan's come, so he got his attention by calling his name.  Stretching himself out on the bed, with half-lidded eyes, Kaidan watched as Regis licked up his mess, getting his hand clean. 

Kaidan licked his lips and let out a sigh, catching his breath. “Thanks.” He reached out for one of the towels and started to wipe off his sweaty, oil-slick skin. 

“Don't thank me, love,” Regis said, leaning in to kiss him on the lips.

Kaidan pulled him in closer, taking the lead this time, exploring his mouth and pushing back. Regis took it all in, letting Kaidan take whatever he wanted. 

“I will thank you any way I want,” he murmured against his lips, their scars brushing up against each other. “For being what I need and more.”

It would be easy to take off his dog tags, take off his father's ring, and propose to him right then and there. 

But he didn't, only brushing his hand against them and reminding him that they were there, against his chest. 

Regis reached out to grab his water bottle, taking a sip and offering Kaidan some, who took it with a smile and chugged some down. His gaze turned to his pack of Astra's, his fingers itching to take one out and smoke. 

Not on the ship. 

Kaidan followed his gaze, twitching his fingers and biotically pulling the pack to them. “You and I both know that half of engineering smokes down there.”

Regis closed his eyes. “Why are you okay with this?”

“Why don't I refuse to share it with you every time I light it for you?”

Touche. 

Kaidan pulled one out and offered it to him. “You haven't smoked one in weeks.  I know it's gotten you antsy.”

Regis accepted it, and although they had a ritual, he instead used his omnitool to generate a flame, knowing the lighter Kaidan carried for him was out of reach.  Now lit, he took a long pull, breathing in the smoke and feeling his biotics react hungrily to the red sand within. “Been a long time since I've taken a drag after sex.”

“Not since… damn, it's been longer than before our commission on this ship.”

He knew when the last time was. 

It all goes back to Zaeed.

Kaidan plucked the Astra from his fingers and took a small drag of his own, breathing out a perfect ring of smoke.  His biotics also came to life, a blue corona that glowed dimly in comparison to how bright they normally were out in the field. “Not since… shore leave.” He said with a wink before handing the cigarette back to him.

Only one shore leave he could be talking about.  Regis already came to the same conclusion. “Feel bad about saying another man’s name after I made you come?”

“Of course not,” he snorted. “I knew you were thinking about Zaeed. Clear as day.”

One rough night after nearly getting themselves killed dealing with Zaeed’s target, Regis lit up an Astra, thinking nothing of it.  He figured the merc was familiar with the drug and being in the business and didn't give a shit.  

He should’ve known better.  He damn near slapped the red sand laced cigarette out of his hand, asking if he was crazy for doing that shit as a biotic.

Regis, surprised, merely said that he was aware of the risks and limited himself to one at a time.  Barely enough to feel withdrawal after a long time without it, but there were times he would feel antsy without it.

Should be the sign to get him to quit, but he’s not going to anytime soon.

Zaeed didn’t appear happy about it, but when Kaidan mentioned that Regis never smoked alone, he seemed to get the implication and left it alone.

He never saw the merc light up anything.  Maybe he wasn’t a smoker.  Regis felt there had to be a reason, but there wasn’t a time to ask.

“I wanted him.  Still do.” Regis blew out smoke, but it started to feel sour, thinking about what could've been. He snuffed it out, using the side of the bed to do so, and tossed the butt on the bedside table to be dealt with later. 

“Me too. Maybe we can figure something out over those drinks.”

“After the mission.”

“After the mission,” he echoed, and swung his legs over to the edge of the bed. “I'm going to wash up since I feel gross and sticky.”

“I like you gross and sticky.”

Kaidan pulled a face but leaned in to kiss him on the forehead anyway. “You're terrible.”

“You love it anyway.”

“Yeah, I sure do.”

Regis followed him to their suite, barely large enough for one person, much less two grown men, but they made it work.  Kaidan toyed with the ring on Regis's dogtags as they washed up, knowing what it will mean to them one day.

He was waiting to be back on Kaidan’s family’s property, under that tree a motorcycle ride away.  Maybe he can invite some of the crew.  The ground crew especially, he’d love to host Tali and Wrex alongside Ash.

Maybe Ash can be his best woman, if Kaidan doesn't beat him to it...

And also ensure Zaeed was there with them.

If things go well, however… that ring could go to more than one man in the end…

[runespoor7]

Per the ask game, chengyao?

tl;dr version: it's one of my notps. (welcome to the salt mines -_-)

Don't Ship It

Why don't you ship it?

tl;dr: i am uncomfortable when jc isn't about wwx, and jgy's taste is better than jc

I never read the situation with JL as co-parenting, so that's one basis of the ship right out, and l can't see why JGY would burden himself with JC or what would attract him to JC. Like... JGY likes people who trust him and people who are good people and who think he's a good person and people who aren't the emotional equivalent of a landmine field on fire. JGY can have either LXC or SMS and I'm pretty sure he's been over the "I can change him" stage ever since NMJ. There is absolutely nothing about JC that I think JGY would be remotely interested in. (I also think JGY post incest-reveal is so deeply traumatized that the entire range of romantic and sexual emotions becomes a no-go for him, with no exceptions.)

I also don't see JC as willing or able to extend feelings for people outside his sect post-WWX's death. People betray you and then they die. Outsiders to the sect will demand the most horrific sacrifices. I also think he didn't like JGY giving JL Fairy at all (I think it's completely possible to think he was grateful for it, I just like my JC entirely unable to let go of WWX), because that put him in a position where he must break a resolution or take his nephew's dog away. (I also find it hard to believe that JC doesn't know about the bullying at Jinlintai and hmmm. don't think it makes him think favorably on JGY. Rusong's death can also result in no positive appreciation of JC for the care JGY takes with JL's safety.)

So basically I'm not into JC having positive relationships with people that aren't WWX, I don't see them catching feelings, and I think both of them are wayyyyy too conscious of the power of gossip to consider sex together (if I thought there was an attraction, which I don't. I don't think JGY finds JC's volatilenesse attractive).

Also I'm a huge wimp and I want JC to only get manipulated and fucked over by WWX. (🥺) Together they're not unpleasant in ways I find fun.

What would have made you like it?

I could get behind the version of the ship where JGY gets a hate-crush on JC because 1)he's projecting his negative NMJ feelings after NMJ's death and JC is conveniently irascible and inconvenient, and/or 2)he's convinced that WWX was JC's half-brother and that colors all of his vision of what JC did or didn't do.

Does he think JC was being incestuous about WWX? (and then he wasn't punished for it. how unfair that he got off unscathed when JGY must carry the weight forever!!!)

Does he share LWJ's opinion that JC used WWX and then got rid of him when WWX became more an impediment than a help? (something that JGY when he's honest with himself - rarely - does know he did, but that he tries to pretend he didn't and can easily dislike JC for. this is why he's besties with LXC. LXC thinks he's Good. JGY likes being Good. JC is all kinds of a repulsive mirror.)

A version where it's requited isn't about WWX enough for me on JC's part, though.

Oh, in a version of canon where JGS wasn't Like That and JGY is thus severely less messed-up (and the WWX+Wens situation isn't as dire as in canon) might have had them carry on a casual-ish discreet relationship while JYL is visiting JZX. Or maybe it's a version where JGY never ended up torturing for WRH. Something that would make him a bit softer at that stage, and have JC a bit less single-focused on WWX. It might escalate and the relationship might deepen if something something JGS causes worse problems, against JGY, etc.

Alternatively, this is less straight-up shipping, but I love the idea that JC and JGY had an UnderstandingTM about JL not having accidents in Jinlintai so long as JC didn't do anything stupid, such as marrying, and that JC honestly did think JGY was going to wait until JL was closer to twenty before JGY started making active moves against JL. And it hurt JC's feelings when Guanyin Temple happened.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Extremely fucked up people and I'm happy that fans of the two characters seem to be having fun with it!

[some-pers0n]

infodump about tf2 ships por favor

i am very curious about the silly violent gay old men

You have no idea what you've just unleashed. You just asked me, the person who has to have an opinion on borderline everything, my thoughts and feelings on the ships for the game I've been hyperfixating on for over half a year.

This is gonna be probably a long one full of unhinged and disjointed rambles about Science Party, so click if you wanna see that. I love rambling about TF2 and these guys, which is funny since 99% of this is me being delusional and making stuff up (despite talking about it like it's canon).

Now, I should put something here first and foremost. I don't actually...ship any of the characters romantically that much. Even my OTP is literally a queer-platonic pairing. It's mostly because I see the mercs as all being good buddy chum friends, despite them all being queer as hell. Yes, I love and reblog ship art and ship discussions like a madman, but I think my aro/ace brain just likes thinking of them more as all being pals. Also doesn't help I headcanon a third of them as being aro/ace (though only one is negative/repulsed by romance and sex, the others are neutral and positive respectively).

I suppose let's start off with the ship that's entirely rotted my brain: Science Party, or Engie/Medic. I don't think I've quite been this obsessed over a relationship as I've been with this one. Like,, any other ship I've encountered, I either like or don't like them. If I like them, I feel inclined to make content about it and just have some fun with this.

Not with this. I think this is the only ship I've ever encountered that I actually 'ship' with how passionate and in-love with it I am about it. It's quite fun and has lead me to start writing my newest longfic as well.

Science Party I just...adore. The dynamic of two evil geniuses together already ignites a neuron in my brain, but there's more to it. Medic is an unhinged and impulsive wildcard that does anything that crosses his mind. He's got an extremely inflated ego and a pretty big god complex. Then, you got Engie, who is like Medic in every regard as well. The catch is that he's a bit more controlled. Don't mistake that for him being more sane or anything though. I feel like he admires Medic for just dropping everything and not giving a shit about looks or appearances, instead being his true, uninhibited self.

Then you get to the interactions and just...me little heart... I've always envisioned Medic as being an uncaring and apathetic guy when it comes to others and their concerns. Low empathy, if you will. However, as his relationship grows with Engie, he begins to care about him just a smidge more, which is saying a lot for Mr. The Healing Is Not As Rewarding As The Hurting. He cares about Engie, enough so to be partners with him rather than friends.

Oh, I should also probably explain that a bit. Medic doesn't exactly like being 'friends' with people, so instead he's partners with Engie. I like the word, partners. If you also notice, I only use the word 'partner' in SAR whenever I'm referring to their relationship.

Anyways, Engie helps Medic open up and feel a bit more. But how does Medic help Engie? Well, I feel by being his unhinged and 'he has 57 mental illnesses and is banned in most public spaces' self, Engie sees somebody he wants to be. Medic doesn't care. He is happy and unchained by responsibilities and a commitment to be a functioning member of society. I could go into why Medic feels this way, but I'll probably end up just saying something along the lines of: "SOCIETY! SOCIETY!!!"

So, Engie has got some issues for lack of a better term. Even as a merc, Engie likes keeping up that mask of being a light-hearted good ol' Texan. He likes that persona, not only because it's the one he's always used but it's just a nice, likeable personality, but he also likes the idea of just going 'fuck it, we ball' like Medic. Medic encourages him to be more creative and detach from that sort of mindset. He tells him that he should do what makes him happy as opposed to doing what his family wants him to do.

They're just...really nice together. I don't know how else to put it. I always saw them as really similar in that regard, both being intelligent and highly regarded members of the team for their supportive roles. Beyond that, they're both clearly nuts in a similar way. They're just...the sillies. I love them.

I've got a lot of opinions on a bunch of other ships, but that's a discussion for another time (or until somebody pokes me about them). Science Party is the one I feel the most about by far, though.

[princessvomitiloveyou]

Antonio Salieri x Reader Fluff and Smut (?)

Warnings: THIS ONE IS REALLY NASTY BE WARNED (still loving and consensual ofc!!), religious sex (not rlly but kinda? its not even rlly sex and Antonio kinda just mentions/ thinks about god and Mozart a lot), Antonio kinda loses his virginity (again not rlly) vomit, vomiting, emetophilia, vomiting in each other's mouth, gender neutral reader (no genitals are described!) and fluff/aftercare <33

Notes: Was shy to post this but I'm sure some ppl like vomit. I finished Amadeus before I wrote this so :3 Used DeepL for some Italian terms so tell me if anything is wrong!!

Filthy.

That's was all Antonio could think. Could process.

How did simple reassurance turn into a puke fest?

His footsteps were rather loud, the noise echoing through the room as he paced back and forth harshly against the wood floor.

How would he get rid of Mozart? Surely kill him, he would think.

He just couldn't understand how some younger...more vulgar man was beloved but not him.

This wasn't what God promised, no, owned him.

Antonio didn't spend his whole entire life begging, praying just to end up with this.

You were more than aware of this. Antonio was your...best friend after all and best friends never leave each other.

Right?

Right.

"Antonio?" Your voice was gentle, almost quiet as you stepped into his study.

He instantly stopped his incoherent mumbling to face you and his heart melted.

It was you! His greatest and most loyal friend. Or, that's what he told himself.

Both him and you knew that, truthfully, the "platonic" love was far more deeper.

No one had the courage to confess. Not yet at least.

"Yes, my dear?" It took him a minute to respond, mostly just silent staring and he took one step closer too.

"I heard you ranting, I think, and I was worried."

Your index finger poked against his arm while you went next to his side. You then went to hold his hand in yours with a nervous grin.

Antonio’s eyes widened and he panicked out of instinct. If you heard him then that would mean...

You heard about his plan to murder Mozart.

No.

He shouldn't panic. He knows you and he was positive this isn't how you would be acting.

Antonio hopes.

"Nothing to worry about, I assure you."

Maybe that was too suspicious.

"Antonio..." You gave him a playful smirk and a semi-teasing tone as you nudged him.

"Is it that God of yours getting to you again?"

"Um...yes. That's precisely it. Thank you for understanding, my dear."

You let out a chuckle as your head tilted ever so slightly.

"Good! I was wondered that you were about to kill Mozart or something-"

So you didn't what happened but suddenly and right in front of you too, Antonio vomited.

It was painfully embarrassing to point that Antonio wanted to cry his heart out but he knew it would distract you.

You on the other hand, your eyes were focused on the bile that splattered all the floor.

Your hand pulled away from his and it shifted to pat Antonio's back as he hunched over with a loud harsh sob.

The both of you sunk down onto the ground and you held him close but as he wiped the remaining sour liquid from his lips, something deep down came up.

Your face turned a light shade of red the more you stared at the acidic mess but you felt gross. Most people would anyways.

The feeling was also strangely prurient or as Antonio would say, unchaste.

To deny, it wasn't your favor so you knew you like...vomit.

But now it seemed strange because Antonio didn't seem nauseous and you weren't a voyeur but you knew how people acted like before they puked.

Was he...doing it on purpose?

You were only joking about the Mozart comment! Was he that paranoid?

That thought was soon interrupted when Antonio’s mouth leaked of the remaining chunks while he clung onto you. You tried your best to comfort him but...

It was your crush's emesis, how could you miss out?

Maybe this can be your odd way of confessing(?)

You did the unspeakable and leaned down to lick some of the vomit on the dirty floor. Antonio's breath hitched and he watched you as he paused his gastric eruption.

It felt freeing.

You savored the decaying-like taste in your mouth as Antonio stared in complete horror, his eyes laced with it.

It was unholy! The work of God working against him, just like Mozart.

“I…”

Antonio couldn’t speak as you continued to basically worship his mess of disgested chunks. Antonio didn’t hate it, strangely. It was calming that you loved even the ‘icky’ parts of his being.

After a couple of seconds, you pulled away the floor, little bits of vomit still around your lips. You wiped it away with the back of your hand before the shame started kicking in. Your cheeks flushed once more and your mouth churned into a worried sneer before you started babbling.

”Antonio, I’m so sorry! I just couldn’t-“

You were cut off with a sudden and honestly, bruising kiss as Antonio cupped your face. Your eyes grew large for a split second but the surprise didn’t last long and you place your hands over his own.

Antonio could taste his own barf on your lips but he, again, didn’t mind. In fact, he enjoyed it like if he got the news that Mozart passed away.

Your hand slowly trailed down and soon, it rested on his groin. You didn’t go further than that however, you simply just palmed it.

Antonio felt a shiver and with all of the stimulation he was receiving, he entirely puked for the second time.

Right into your throat.

Luckily, you didn’t pull away or straight up yank your mouth from his. You welcomed it eagerly and the taste of half-stomach-eaten food wasn’t anything you could get anywhere else.

The kiss was a simple lips-to-lips, not open-mouthed or anything like that. Which meant that…all of the putrid liquid leaked onto both your and Antonio’s lap.

“Dio avrebbe voluto questo?” Antonio questioned in his brain, a hint of doubt and perhaps, fear creeping into his head. God, he watched down on Antonio, so did he see Antonio differently now?

But, Antonio couldn’t help his love for you, You were his only beloved and if it meant regurgitating his stomach’s content into your mouth, then Antonio couldn’t care less.

Antonio held you even closer in his arms, his hands letting go of your face and resting on your back. You mimicked his gesture and soon, your puke embrace felt so much more special.

When the kiss finally broke, your eyes locked with Antonio’s and the room filled with a VERY awkward silence.

“I love you.”

Well, the silence was immediately broken by your own words. You really did, vomit or not.

“I love you too.”

You gave Antonio a small smile as you started to stand back on your feet again. You offered a hand to Antonio and he took it happily. When you both were steady, you chuckled at the stains on your clothes.

“Can’t leave the floor dirty, can we?”

“Certainly not, I have students arriving soon.”

“I’ll help you.”

You stood on your toes to kiss Antonio’s cheek as his hand rested on your shoulder.

“Do you think we’re going to get sick?” You asked, albeit non-seriously.

“Don’t be silly. We’re most definitely sick.” Antonio replaced with a joking tone of his own.

“If that’s so, then it was worth it.”

[xirae]

Tbh I don't like the way the twink archetype is dealt with in gay circles. I feel like it gets dissed on in general in favor of more masc archetypes, under the guise of like fat-positivity or correcting the dominance of -the- gay archetype that allegedly everyone is attracted but without thinking about the effeminacy dynamics at play or the nuances of how thinness works for guys vs women.

Bc tbh I think "thin privilege" as it exists on the internet is a little more tailored for women than men. It addresses how women are pressured into being stick thin through a variety of social and cultural factors (bc even though many women don't get as much testosterone or w/e, they are pressured very far into how thin they can be), but this means it changes a little for men who don't have to be pushed as far. men very much have thin privilege, but in terms of the ideal masculine male archetype, He is not actually as thin a man he could be. Women are pressed to be so thin because at the end of the day, thinness is treated as a feminine trait. This makes thin privilege a bit different for men, who aren't pressured as much to be thin as much as not-fat. Not-fat isn't always good enough for women, but men are masculine, they build a little bit more muscle mass - so it's actually necessary to fill out a little to show this to be the ideal man. Pure thinness is a "lack" of testosterone - it's soy - so thin is a feminine trait whereas muscular is a masculine trait

Men are encouraged to be muscular, not so much as thin, in comparison to women. This does two things: first, the ideal male body type is not so much a thin guy but a lean-muscular guy or toned guy - where notably, fatness is still juxtaposed against muscle as well as thinness (a gym bro is just as ready as an obnoxious twink to call you fat). Second, guys who are thin after a certain point are seen as being feminine or effeminate (gross, frail, weak - waify). When a guy starts to be thin the way a woman culturally should be, they lose their hold on the male archetype and some of the privileges of hegemonic masculinity.

So like overall I find it really suspect twinks are singled out to rally against when there are plenty of other body types that rake in just as much thin privilege, many with the additional benefit of hegemonic masculinity. Like tbh idk if twinks are respected outside of being sex objects, like I almost want to say they experience hot-girl misogyny - yeah, "hot" with a capacity to be total bitches, but also not respected as persons outside of sex. The consequence of a twink not being attractive is she's some sort of a sissy fag who can't be taken seriously, but w/ muscular guys their physique still yields respect for them. But then there's the elephant in the room - twinks aren't the sole dominant body type! I honestly only know a few guys who are openly like "yeah, I prefer twinks." The rest are extremely into lifter physiques and like most every guy I know is working out to get as close to it as he can. Muscle is easily dominant ime. I don't think twinks struggle sexually, but that shouldn't be the sole rubric for whether an archetype is respected or not. Ppl single it out bc it's not thinness they care about, but rather rejecting effeminacy.

I saw this one guy say something like "I post my ass and get no attention (he got attention) but a twink will post his and get way more likes than me" and it's like ok maybe true I don't want to deny your experience but it's like where is this ire for muscle rats or twunks????? It's bc he identified with muscle and masculinity, and at the end of the day that's what's going on. Gay MEN are going to identify with MASCULINITY, and therefore they go to bat for the muscle against Team Twink. it's not rocket science, it's not malicious, and I often wonder if I'm like internally homophobic for being so critical of gay men and their attractions. They just really seem like the least liberated from sexuality individuals I have ever seen and have no awareness of larger social dynamics and fall for every hot muscular guy they see. But at the same time, it's the same for everyone - when someone identifies with a gay man, it's usually with normal guys or bears (somewhat justified bc they're often fat, but there's a lot of "but's" for another time); it's with the masc groups before the sissies. We live in a world of hegemonic masculinity, it's just what's respected and identified with in general!

[bisexualduckling00]

the first who ever did || ch. 1

at arms length

length: 2500 words

rating: m (language, brief mentions of sex)

chapter summary: Holy mother of god, those pants were tight. How did he even… no. Now was most definitely not the time to be questioning your new partner’s… sizes. He looked to be in his mid to late thirties, with tousled brown hair and a broad chest that was only further accentuated by those goddamn jeans.

an: i started writing/posting this on ao3 back in january but i thought she deserved a home here too! i'm up to ch.4 + an interlude which are all up on ao3 right now. i'll post everything else on here too when i get around to it!

You sighed as you surveyed your half-furnished apartment. A wooden counter separated your small yet functional kitchen from the main living space. An atrocious pink and blue floral print couch pressed against the wall was the unfortunate focal point of the room. You’d have to change that, eventually. The three other doors led to the bathroom, a storage closet, and your bedroom. Even though your room was barely bigger than the closet.

Still, you smiled to yourself. After having shared a room with two other agents at the sharehouse in Sinaloa, this was a breath of fresh air. Even if it was stuffy as hell. The Bogotá DEA office had set you up in your own space in the agency complex. You had been told that there were other agents in the building, although you had yet to meet them. Hopefully your apartment would be in better shape when that happened. It was still too lonely. Too empty. It wasn’t a home yet.

It was going to be ok, though. You would make this place your home, dammit. 

Tomorrow was your first day at the embassy, and you were determined to make this position work. You would be happy here. God knows you needed a fresh start after what happened in Sinaloa. You had a new city, a new case, and a new partner. Apparently his partner was taking a personal leave for several months, and they desperately needed someone to replace him. Of course they did, this is fucking Escobar that you’re dealing with.

On second thought, maybe optimism was a naive approach to this. No, you shook your head, as if that would shake the thoughts from your mind as well. Yes, it was dangerous. But it was no more of a risk than when you had been working in Mexico. Like you said: a fresh start. 

-

Holy mother of god, those pants were tight.

How did he even… no. Now was most definitely not the time to be questioning your new partner’s… sizes. He looked to be in his mid to late thirties, with tousled brown hair and a broad chest that was only further accentuated by those goddamn jeans. You couldn’t help but notice that his beige shirt was unbuttoned just one button too much, with orange tinted aviators hanging from the collar. You stepped forward, hoping that you looked more confident than you felt. “Hi,” you extended your hand, introducing yourself with your name. 

With his hands on his hips, he gave you a quick once over before returning the favor. You couldn’t help but notice how warm he was, how firmly he grasped your hand, how perfectly your hand fit inside his own. “Javier Peña.” You hadn’t expected him to sound like that either. All deep and husky. Fuck, you had to stop this. Now.

The week passed in a rapid blur of paperwork and humidity. Agent Peña showed you around the first day, of course. Everyone seemed to keep busy and you quickly realized why. Between phone calls, documenting, checking out leads, and drinking five cups of bitter coffee a day, you barely had time to eat lunch and were often too tired to shower at the end of the day. Not that you’d let anyone know that, though.

Throughout the week you also caught small snippets of insight into Javier. Immediately you noticed how much this man smoked. He must’ve gone through at least a packet a day. He was grumpy at his best, and straight up rude at his worst. But beneath that veneer, you could tell there was something else. Some pent up frustration. Something simmering just under the surface that you could tell he struggled to rein in every day. 

It was late Friday afternoon, and you were just about done with the day’s work. Across the desk, Agent Peña’s attention was focused on the folder in front of him. You cleared your throat gently, hoping to get his attention. He mumbled something that sounded close to a “Salud.” 

“Agente Peña,” you tried again. This time, he looked up at you with a raised brow. Taking this as permission to continue, you did. “I was wondering, well, some of the others are going out for a drink tonight and…” You risked a quick glance at his expression, which remained blank. How incredibly not helpful. “And seeing that it’s my first week and I’m trying to settle in and you’re my partner…” You trailed off again, a blush rising to your cheeks from his stare and his still raised eyebrow. “I thought you could maybe come with me. As a buffer of sorts,” you finished lamely.

He waited a moment before responding. “Javier’s fine. We’re co-workers. No need to be so formal.” You nodded, waiting for him to say more. “As for the drink, it’s been a long week and I’ve got a nice bottle of whiskey waiting for me at home.” Your face immediately fell, and Javier must’ve noticed. “Thank you for the offer, though,” he said through a small smile.

-

You still joined your co-workers that night. Like you said, you wanted to settle in. Hopefully make a few new friends. However, as you sat alone at the bar, you began to worry if that had merely been wishful thinking. You halfheartedly sipped at your drink, ready to give up and go home. That was until a flash of blue sat next to you.

“You’re the newbie, right? Steve’s replacement?” A pair of straight white teeth smiled at you. You smiled back at the handsome man seated next to you.

“That wouldn’t be the way that I would have said it, but yes. I’m filling in for Steve until he gets back.”

“I’m Marcus,” He shook your hand. It wasn’t as warm and firm as Javier’s. You introduced yourself as well. “So, how’s it going with Peña? He driving you out of your fucking mind yet?”  

“No,” you said without hesitation. “He’s just…” you thought back to the week. His constant smoking, grunting, and frowning. But you also remembered the smaller things, like the coffee he’d bring you or the tiny glimpse of smile that would appear when you’d try to crack a joke. But mostly, he seemed tired. Of what, you weren’t entirely sure, but his attitude was understandable. “Reserved.”

Marcus let out a laugh that splintered into something like the noise a rooster makes. “Reserved? You might as well have a mustache and a hillbilly ass accent to be saying that!”

What.

“Javier is notorious for, well, just about everything when it comes to those of your gender.” Ah. Agent Peña had a bit of a reputation, it seemed. “I can’t imagine him being reserved around someone as pretty as you.” Marcus leaned in closer. You could smell the beer on his breath. “His loss for not seeing what I am.” His gaze dropped to your chest, lingering for a beat too long for comfort.

“Well Marcus,” you clutched your purse. “As lovely as it was meeting you, I’ve got to get going.” You didn’t bother making up an excuse before standing up and politely saying goodbye.

In bed that night, you couldn’t stop thinking about what Marcus had said. Was something wrong with you? It wasn’t that you wanted Javier to hit on you. God, no. But you wanted him to… like you. To respect you. You wanted more than the gruff demeanor and the lack of conversation beyond “Good Morning” and “Bye.” You wanted camaraderie, if not friendship. You wanted a partner. 

Stop it. You scolded yourself. It’s only been a fucking week and you’re already acting like an insecure little girl. And you haven’t been her for a long time. This was a professional relationship, and nothing more. It was stupid to wish for more than that.

-

Steve’s replacement was definitely something. You were sweet and eager and friendly, a little bit too much so, maybe. Javier liked Steve. Liked their easy banter and late-night beers. Mostly, though, he liked that Steve wasn’t one of the sexiest women he’d ever seen. Also, Steve didn’t ask too many questions. Didn’t try to pry, to force anything. Didn’t have such a sweet smile or supple lips. 

Fuck.

Javier liked sex. It was a simple fact. He didn’t let other people's judgemental stares or demeaning whispers get in the way of that. If he found a willing partner, he was more than happy to bring them both pleasure for a night or two. And he wasn’t too ashamed to pay for it either. Sex work is work, and Javier respects the services that the women provide.

However, lusting over a coworker, his new partner, no less, that was something he didn’t do. Until now, apparently. Javier knew that he had to draw a strict line between business and pleasure. Usually, he’d happily let that line blur into nothingness, but not this time. Yes, you got on his nerves, but he could tell that you were honest and a hard worker. Something that they desperately needed more of right now.

Javier would put this behind him. He had to.

-

Only two weeks into the job and you were already exhausted. You slumped in the hallway of your apartment complex, letting your head fall back against the cool concrete wall. It wasn’t that this work was harder than what you had been doing in Mexico, it was just a million times more stressful.

Directly across from your apartment was Javier’s. Despite this, you rarely saw him at all. The most you got was the sound of his door shutting as he returned home late in the night. Was he home now? It was probably too late, anyways. But he stayed up late. Before you could change your mind, or even consider what the hell you were doing, you crossed the hallway and gently knocked at his door.

Carajo. This was the worst idea you’d ever had. You immediately turned around, fully prepared to hide under your covers and pretend this had never happened. But before you got the chance, you heard the door open and Javier’s deep grumble of your name.

Double Fuck.

“Javier, hiii,” you smiled, knowing it was far too big. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“I live here. You know that.” His hair was even messier than usual and he was wearing nothing but a black t-shirt and jeans that hung low on his hips. He leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed, almost taking up the entire space.

“Yep. Just double checking. Glad to see you’re still here, goodnight!” You turned to make your escape, wondering why you had thought knocking was a good idea.

“Did you want to come in or did you just knock on my door for the fun of it? Like a teenage boy.” Javier deadpanned. Shit. You couldn’t just leave now, could you?

“Yes,” you nodded. “I’ll come in. To your house.” Fuckfuckfuck this was awkward. Why did he let you in? Why did you knock? 

His apartment smelled like him. Like tobacco and whiskey and cinnamon. You took it in, noticing how much more lived in his place was than yours. It felt like a home. From the worn-down leather sofa draped with a colorful quilt to the leftover dishes in the sink, it exuded Javier.

“¿Quieres algo de tomar?” Javier already had two glasses ready.

“I’ll have whatever you’re having,” you said with a smile. Hopefully it was something strong because you could sure as hell use something to calm yourself down. The couch nearly engulfed you with it’s worn-in seat and soft, smokey leather sent. You felt something cool being gently pressed against your knuckles. You looked up to see Javier offering you a glass of iced Coke. “No whiskey?” you asked, gratefully accepting the drink, even if it wouldn't calm you down in the way you'd hoped.

He shook his head, sitting on the chair across from you. “Not tonight.” You watched as he swallowed, intrigued by how thick his neck was. You could see each muscle doing its part as he took a long sup. “So, why are you,” he gestured his hands around them “here?”

“You invited me in, remember?”

“Nice try,” Javier smirked, his plump lips curling ever so slightly. “Why did you knock on my door?” You had to answer him. Saying ‘I’m not sure, I just saw it there and thought that maybe I wanted to see you’ didn’t seem like the right one. 

“I thought you could give me some advice,” you half-lied. “It’s just been difficult adjusting. Obviously. I don’t mean to sound naive, I didn’t expect this job to be easy.” You looked up at his reaction to see his attention fully on you. His face didn’t betray any emotion, but it wasn’t like last time, with his blank stare that made you feel silly. This time, it felt like he was truly listening to you, without judgment or scorn. It made you feel safe enough to continue. “I just didn’t expect it to be this hard, either.”

A touch of a smile spread across his features. “I remember when I first started. Ages ago. I was probably close to your age, actually.” You almost clarified that he wasn’t that much older than you, but you didn’t want to interrupt. “Colombia’s a big change, no matter what you’re used to. There's a lot of shit going on here, and not a lot of resources to clean it up with. Even with all the good people we have working with us, it never feels like it’s enough.”

You could see the weight in his words. The way his body sagged, as if years of bearing the burden had physically taken its toll on him. “But it is, right? It is enough?” Javier inhaled sharply. “It has to be,” you murmured, feeling a piece of his daily burden shift to your shoulders.

“To being enough,” Javier raised his glass.

“To being enough,” you repeated, letting the cool, fizzy drink and this newfound common ground calm the incessant buzzing you had felt since knocking on his door.

The next several minutes passed in comfortable silence, the two of you sipping at your drinks as you continued to observe his space. You noted some mismatched and honestly, strange artwork on his walls, as well as a photo of a man you assumed to be his father. You could see the resemblance between the two. They had the same soft, warm eyes, starkly contrasted by the chiseled line of their jaws. 

Again, you inhaled the scent, his scent. It was heady and overwhelming, making your head slightly dizzy. Hell, you didn't need whiskey, you were getting drunk off of his scent alone. But no, you reminded yourself. Now wasn't the time to let your lust and loneliness fog up the moment. You two had connected. Maybe friendship wasn't such a naive notion. If you could stop getting lost in your lusty thoughts, that is.

You smiled inside. “Thank you, Javier. I appreciate this. A lot.”

“Javi.” You glanced up in surprise. “You should, uh, call me Javi. We’re not just coworkers. We’re partners.”

This time you smiled outside too. “Javi,” you nodded, savoring the way his name sounded on your tongue.