#I'm referencing the last chapter so much cause of right now it's my favorite | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rinbowaman · 11 months

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HHP Chapter 18 - MDNI18+

READ NOTES!

Okay so i know i say this all the time...but truly, this one is my favorite chapter....you'll see why. please excuse it not being proofread, we're visiting some family and friends so that's my excuse this time lol....

Text in purple are song lyrics. IDK why but every time i highlight song lyrics sometimes the color doesn't highlight the entire verbiage, just ignore that.

Warnings: Sensual smut, descriptive, unprotected sex, angst, fighting, arguing, controlling behavior, imbalance of power in a relationship, restricting freedom (towards reader), obsessive/controlling/possessive behavior (very yandere...ofc it's heethan).

So it is a REQUIREMENT that you read the smau "Netflix and Chill" (all three parts) before reading this. It will be better if you read the entire MGR arc, but if you dont feel like reading the whole thing, at least read the smau and the last few chapters of MGR (Chapter 9-12) bc this is heavily referenced with a timeline of events that occurred in those chapters...otherwise it's going to just confuse you. I'm linking the smau and the masterlist for MGR below, i would suggest reading the chapters first and then reading the smau.

MGR MASTERLIST <- Click

“Why can’t you just see from my perspective once in a while??”

“Don’t I?...why can’t you see mine? I care and love you too much…I’m the only one that loves you, and I’m the only one that will protect and take care of you.”

“But I’ll be with the others-“

“That’s enough.”

“No!”

Back and forth, you both had bickered nonstop. An argument caused by the event of you informing Heeseung that you wanted to join the girls on a road trip, but Heeseung’s schedule was too booked for him to attend, therefore, you weren’t able to go…at least he wouldn’t allow you to.

“You do realize that this is not typical human behavior in a relationship right?” you snarked out with your arms crossed, glaring at him with slightly glossed eyes as you reached a level of frustration from feeling restricted…like a child.

“I never said it was.” He responded back calmly….to calm.

“You can’t treat me this way! Its not fair Heeseung.”

“I never said I played fair either…” standing before you, he tilts his head back just slightly to peek his eyes from the shadow of his cap, opening them wide as he glares down at you from a staggering height. His iris shrinks up the wider he opens them. You couldn’t deny it, it terrified you, especially seeing that his Ethan side wasn’t present at all, yet he was already so mad….how would it have been if his aggressive side did come through?

Shaking your head in defeat, you turn around and walk over to the window and tried to compose yourself as you took deep breaths. Placing your hands on your waist, you tilt your head back to look up at the ceiling as you count silent numbers in your head.

‘1…..2…..3……4…..’

Feeling his hands reach around your waist, cupping your ribcage, he leans into your ear to gently whisper and kiss it. But you were far from wanting to feel him let alone seeing him.

“Stop!” you snapped as you peel his hands off.

“Don’t touch me right now, I want to be left alone.”

Snarking out a smirk out of amusement and irritation, he looks at the doorway before looking at you.

“You really don’t get it, do you? after all this time you treat the love I have for you as some sort of joke…” he responds.

“I do not! I just think you go overboard. It isn’t normal!” you spoke out, and in all honestly, you spoke out of anger. Generally, you didn’t mind Heeseung’s mannerism when it came to his level of obsession and possession over you, in fact, a lot of the time, you loved it. But at this moment, you were too angry to remind yourself of how much you deeply craved his unhealthy level of possessiveness over you.

“That’s what I mean…..i never said it was normal…in fact….it’s insane…I’M….insane….i’m insanely in love with you and I never claimed to be a man who loves you in any other aspect…yet you keep comparing my love for you to other people’s definition of love….it pisses me off.” His voice remained calm, yet you could tell by the influctuation of his tone, that he was getting quite mad towards your disregard of his love for you.

“I’ve loved other women in that normal aspect…..I’ve loved them in the way that you’re comparing me to right now…..and honestly, they deserved it. Because the type of love I have for you is unlike anything I’ve felt or displayed towards anyone….and here you are wanting something different. Why can’t you be more considerate and just accept it? Why can’t you maybe fucking return it back once in a while or show some type of love that goes beyond ‘normal’?”

His words hit you deeply. Snapping your frame around to face him, you glared at him as you spoke out in high tempo, with a level of anger that you hadn’t felt in a very long time.

“What are you talking about? I love you! I’ve always loved you!” you lashed out, restricting the volume of your voice from getting too loud, yet it was indeed rising.

“Nah y/n…..you only love when I was there for you…when I was there holding your hand and comforting you because of Samuel and that stupid email he sent. I’m talking about real love…something you don’t know nothing about…you have any idea how it feels to look at something and get a feeling that they are beyond your reach? Yet you know that they are yours…that they belong to you? You have any idea what it feels like to love someone from a distance and watch them love someone else? Hmm? Do you?...I’m willing to bet you don’t…”

He spoke out with a slight side smirk….acting as if he knew the answers in regards to love. Your heart sank….you knew it wasn’t entirely his fault..yet….

“Are you kidding me? Heeseung, you obviously have no idea what you’re talking about.” You flared your hands as they dropped back down in minor defeat as you nearly began to sob in full.

“How could he say that to me?.....Does he truly not know?.....”

Smirking at you once more, all at the sight of you with the tears beginning to stream down your face, his cold and heartless words came out once more.

“You don’t…..you don’t know what it was like to watch you….dedicate yourself to someone else…being committed…loving them and cherishing them….even though they didn’t return any of it…..yet you still were so tenacious with your love for them….and I had to watch it all…..” shifting his gaze to the window behind you, then right back into your eyes, he chuckles with a closed mouth.

“Maybe you do know of the love I’m talking about….now that I just broke it down….you displayed that love towards Samuel…..didn’t you?”

Your mouth slowly gasps open in despair.

“But you never did it for me…..only until he came out with the truth and betrayed you…..and when I took the opportunity to get you for myself…that’s when you decided to return the love I have for you. I’m happy….but I’ll never forget that pain of wondering how to get you……coming up with ways and thoughts to sabatoge your relationship with him…..coming up with ways to get you for myself….i planned…I coordinated….fortunately I didn’t have to do any of that….because it all worked out….yet you’re going to sit there and just think I’m crazy and not think about the fact that it’s all because of my desire to be with you that drives me crazy….y/n…”

You shook your head slightly out of anger….you didn’t prolong the conversation any further as you felt like nothing you could say or do would make a difference.

Turning away for the last time, you leaned against the window and stared outside, by now, the girls would have already packed and left for their trip…. without you. Even h/n was joining them.

“why…just why?.....”

Seeing that you were no longer going to lash out or come up with any other response, Heeseung merely turns and heads for the door. Softly, without turning, he starts off speaking by facing the door, before turning his head to face his side profile in your direction as he finishes his words.

“I’m going to be downstairs….so we can both cool off. Think about what I said…in the meantime, stay here.”

With that, he leaves and shuts the door behind, leaving you in the room to remain as he demanded. You knew better than to try and break his command, especially with him downstairs, but more so because in the past, every single time you had tried to walk out during a heated argument, he always caught you…sometimes even before you could reach for the door.

At least he was understanding to give you some space, yet it was always in a guarded room…his room. He never let you go out…not for a walk…not for some air….not for anything. He was too controlling and restricting….all because of his ‘love’ for you.

“Fucking bullshit…”

…………………………….

Arriving downstairs and into the kitchen, Heeseung was glad that the rest of his housemates all went out for the weekend. He hated arguing, yet hated it even more if others were overhearing it.

Pouring himself a small drink of a gentleman’s liquor, he walks back over to the living room. Staring up at the open railed corridor that led to his room, he stares at the door as he takes a sip out of his glass. Licking his lips and poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue, a calm yet pissed off expression on his face, he sits the drink down on the coffee table before laying on the sofa.

“Fucking Hell….I’ll fix her after we cool down for a bit….”

Laying down and shifting his frame to sink into the cushions, he pulls down his cap slightly and forces himself to nap.

Upstairs, you decided to do the same, seeing as there was absolutely nothing for you to really do, since your phone and his laptop were both downstairs. Taking advantage of everyone being gone since yesterday, you and Heeseung had the entire frat home to yourselves. Earlier when he was studying, you had made breakfast for you both. It was shortly after breakfast ended that the argument began, where you started to feel fed up and, mistakenly leaving your phone on the kitchen island, you walked upstairs out of haste. A moment later, he came up and found you sulking in the room as you sat on the edge of the bed with your arms crossed, your head turned away, and trying to avoid speaking to him at all costs since you were already reaching an anger pitch that was bringing the worst out of you. It all went downhill from that point on.

Laying on his bed, you shift over to your side as pieces of your hair drapes over your shoulder and cheek, while the rest grazes over the pillow in a waterfall effect. With the tear streams dried, yet still evident as they left their mark on your face, you drift off, subtly sobbing once more out of frustration, feeling hopeless and defeated.

The evening shadows of night arrived as the sky turned pitch dark. Waking up in the dark atmosphere of the living room, Heeseung gets up and stretches. Taking his glass over to the kitchen to wash it out, he sees the screen of your phone brightening up from notifications of a study group you have set for next week.

“We already spend so much time apart due to classes….how could she want to go away for the weekend….away from me? She knows better than to ask that.”

Taking your phone, he views the texts of the study group. Some of the peers were female…some were male.

“I hate that…”

Still feeling a bit distasteful from the heated argument earlier, and noticing how familiar the boys in the group text were addressing and directing their messages to you, Heeseung proceeds to go into your contacts and begins to erase all the male contacts off your phone….again.

It took you nearly two days to place all those numbers back in, thank God you have a recall roster saved in your notepad, otherwise it would have been painful to go up to everyone in class asking for their numbers. Last time, he even erased the female contacts, including H/N and the girls, all due to getting mad over the April Fools prank that they encouraged you to do.

Setting your phone back down on the countertop, he was about to walk away when another notification came in. It was from h/n sending a picture of her and the girls all arriving at the hotel.

“Wish you were here with us! Miss you!” the text read.

Scoffing, he slightly rolls his eyes.

“What the fuck-ever.”

He doesn’t deny that your friends care for you, but no one truly loves or misses you like he does. He knows that…if only you knew…if only you knew what it was like to yearn for someone so much.

Pouring himself another drink in a clean glass, he takes a sip as he browses through your phone, particularly the message between you and him. He needed to get into a better mood before confronting you again, so why not look at all the loving messages that transpired between you two?

It started to work, yet each time when he thought he was feeling better, the words he issued to you echoed in his brain. It made him think back to the moments where you weren’t his…back when you were in love with Samuel and Heesueng was continuing on his relationship with Vicky, all for the sake of using her as a means in getting closer to you.

“If only she knew…”

Perhaps it was a good idea just to leave you alone for the rest of the night, he was nowhere near a good or decent mood to talk with you. He was still so angry, and now that he was recalling his emotions before he had you, he was feeling a little emotionally frustrated. Exiting out of the chat between you and him, reaching up to click the phone screen off, something caught his eye. It was a recent text message that you had sent to yourself.

“Y/N ###”

“Huh….interesting.”

He scoffs internally as he clicked on the chat.

“Probably sent some mental notes or reminders to herself.”

He was right. All the recent and collection of texts to yourself were of reminders, notes, and scheduled group study dates that you had sent to yourself. Days, weeks, and months’ worth of them. He continues to scroll all the way up, until he reached the timeline before you two started dating, where he saw messages you sent reminding yourself to send Samuel some gifts or a text message wishing him luck on a scheduled football game at his college.

Regardless that these messages were sent way before you and he became an official pair, a couple and now, engaged, seeing the messages you sent yourself in regard to Samuel didn’t sit right with him. One by one, he begins to erase the reminders….when a particular series of messages caught his eye….noting the date and the time of each message, he pulls his own phone out and scrolls through the messages he had with you, back to the timeline that matched your self texts….. and there it was, with the date and time matching exactly with the texts you sent yourself, he finds out that the messages, were all submitted right after the discussion he had with you.

Viewing the messages all in order, he begins reading the conversation from start to finish.

It was all coming back to him...how Vicky was expressing her pity for you....because at the time, not that you weren't aware, but everyone had assumed that you were blind....they all felt sorry for you...thinking that you were in denial...that you were blindly loving a man that didn't love you back.

Not wanting you to be left alone, Vicky asked for Heeseung to check in on you. Reading the contents of her requesting message, he stumbled across a moment in time, where he had saw something within you that he has now completely forgotten, all since he had you in his life permanently....

………………….

"She did...she always had....somehow back then...I knew she was alot like me....she yearned for love...."

Continuing on, he reads the contents of the messages you and he both shared the next night...

His chest heaves, his breathing deepens when he lowers his phone and raises yours in his other hand, reading what you wrote….

“Sweet pea…tell me….what’s on your mind? “

“Hmm?”

“I know my girl, something is on our mind. Even though your mother and I just drove down here yesterday to see you for the weekend, I know when something is bothering my girl, come here, tell papa what you’re thinking about….is it about Samuel?”

“…..no…actually….Samuel and I…..I don’t know….I’ve reached out and have done all I can…but I think I lost him…..”

“And you still love him? Are you saddened by losing him?”

“No…..no not really….even though I’m still trying…I’m not in denial…I just….”

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying? What’s wrong y/n?”

“……I don’t even care if I lose Samuel…I just …I don’t know why I keep trying with him….i think it’s because…..there is a man…who I really…..i think….”

“……..do you love this man?...the one you’re talking about?”

“……………….yes………but I can’t have him….”

“why is that?”

“Because he’s my roommates boyfriend……and he’s a good man…..so he loves her dearly….although I’m not sure if she loves him back…..”

“…So you keep trying with Samuel to fill the emptiness of not having the love of the one you truly want?”

“………yes….”

“…..I see…….it’s alright y/n……everything happens for a reason…..”

“But…..does it have to hurt this bad?.....”

“It does……because it’s true love….”

“so just this once….would it be bad….would it be considered weak if I cried?......I don’t like it but…..would it be okay….to cry this one time……that wouldn’t change the fact that I’m trying to be strong?”

“no….it’s okay to cry….it’s always okay to cry……come here, come hug good ol’ pappy.”

“……I don’t want to hurt anymore…how do I make it stop?”

“You can’t…..when you truly love and yearn for someone….sometimes the only way we can relay or show them that we love them….sometimes the only way to truly love them….is from afar and through our tears……”

The weekend ended, and your parents made the 5 hour drive back to their home, leaving you to prepare for class the next morning. Doing your homework inside your room, Vicky walks in and catches your attention.

“Oh! Y/N! hey, in three weeks from now, don’t make any plans! We’re going to go to a party!”

“What party?”

“There is a newly formed frat that is throwing their welcoming party in three weeks, we’re all going, so make sure you don’t make any plans.” She smiles as she plops herself on your bed.

Chuckling, you nod.

“Okay…I’ll go.”

“Oh my gosh Y/n! You look so chic!”

“maaaaaan you are going to get some looks at this party.”

Walking with your arms looped with a fellow classmate, you and the girls all arrive at the party.

Settling in towards the back of the kitchen where the open bar was stationed, you stood off to the side as you engaged subtly in minor conversation with the girls. Vicky disappeared, and you’re certain she was with him.

Yet for a moment, you could have sworn your eyes deceived you when you saw him walking into the kitchen area, dressed casually yet somewhat fancier than his usual choice, however, his black cap remains as usual. Spotting you, he walks up and greets you as you wave and smile at him.

“Hi Ethan.”

“Y/n…..how have you been?”

“I’ve been good, how have you been doing? It’s been a while.”

Admiring you, you couldn’t see his eyes, yet he was grateful for he didn’t want you to notice how deeply he was studying your features. Reaching up with his hand, he makes a delicate closed fist and softly rests it against your cheek, using the extension of his thumb, he strokes a piece of hair that was subtly connected to the corner of your mouth. Tucking it behind another strand, he makes sure it stays in place so that he could keep admiring that face of yours….

The events of the night transpired and escalated the moment that Gabe and his friend displayed an assortment of verbal harassment towards you. Yet he was there to protect you…to save you…..to stand in between you and those terrible men…like always. The feeling rose back up again.

“……he does this…he always does this….but I can’t have him….i don’t belong to him…..”

Feeling a sense of hopelessness and the sadness of an unrequited love, you rush out. He takes notice, though him and everyone else assumed it was all due to being flushed from what you had just experienced with Gabe and his friend.

Walking back to your dorm, you received the notification that, for a moment in time, left a dent in your heart……Samuel’s email.

Making it back to your dorm, you held your sobs in until you reached your bed. Leaving your phone screen on, you fell into a symbolic state as you matched the room to reflect your emotions….all dark…with only just that little bit of light remaining…though it was barely there…..normally it was the other way around….yet….now you found yourself enveloped in the darkness that was eating you inside.

“……I want what she has so badly….but I can’t have him…..so I was willing to make it work with Samuel….i’ve tried….I’ve tried all this time…and I’ve tried so hard…..yet it was all for nothing…should I be surprised? When was the last time he contacted me? Aside from tonight with that email?.....God…I’m so desperate for the love and affection of him…that I put myself through pain and wasted affection for a man that had been lying and unfair to me for the last six months…….so now what?.....If I can’t even keep the love of someone who is unworthy……and I can’t have the love of someone who I’m more than willing to love in her place…….then who is there for me to love?.....”

Slowly, you hear the door open. Closing your eyes, you knew it was Vicky, yet you didn’t want to be approached, so you pretended to sleep. You hear her footsteps coming in closer to your bed.

“Please…Vicky…not now…..I can’t talk….just let me be alone for now….please.”

The footsteps stop right at the side of your bed. You hear her reach and grab your phone….

“Oh God…the email…..she’s going to read it….”

Seconds later, you hear the phone being placed back on your nightstand. Sitting on the edge of your bed, right beside you, you felt her hand……you smelled her scent…….you heard her breathing……

But it wasn’t her……

Opening your eyes upon recognizing the scent, the feel of his touch, and the steady faint tone in his breath, you look up and saw him…..looking at you compassionately. With a soft tone in his voice, he speaks…starting off the conversation in the night that led to the events that forever changed your life…..

“Who made you cry?”………

Placing the phones down, he leaves them in place as he starts to walk towards the stairway….

I fell by the way The reason you haven't heard from me

Just didn't want to tell you Or see me this way

Having fun with someone

With a soft hand on the rail, he trails up each step, calmly.

Circumstance, who would've guessed

Force my hand when I was homeless He just, he wouldn't understand

If you saw me Holding his hand

Breaching the door, he pauses as he stands on the other side.

I fell from your grace The reason you haven't seen me here

I just, I didn't want to tell you to your face But I left clues you couldn't refuse

Knob in his hand, he freezes for a second, before gently and quietly entering, noting the lack of sound and lighting.

Obvious, you're friends would see I knew you'd get the word eventually

There you were, soundly asleep on his bed…..and as always, you looked so damn beautiful….

I'd rather have them tell you It's just as well

The picture's gone

Walking over….stealth with soundless motion, he approaches the edge of the bed. Extending his hand out, he softly grazes his fingertips over the soft skin of your cheek. Coiling your hair around his fingers, he sits by your lying side, taking a moment to admire the face of the woman he loves….the one who unknowingly stole his heart…without even trying…

Hovering atop of you, he places his forearms on the bed, off to each side of your shifted face as he admires your side profile directly above. Resting a bit of his weight on your body, he feels you move from the sudden density that was placed on your body. Raising his hand, he moves the hair away from your cheek to full expose your profile, admiring it, he smiles softly.

Leaning in, he places a gentle and tender kiss against your cheek, trailing off to the side towards your ear before he softly breathes over your canal.

Reaching over to your breast, he pulls down the spaghetti straps of your form fitted summer dress. Placing a hand over one of your busty mounds, he caresses it while stroking his thumb over your nipple, all the while he softly licks and kisses your helix.

You moan out as you start to wake up from the slight pressure of his weight on your body, and the application of his affection on your skin.

“…hmm?...heeseung?” you softly speak out in a tiring voice.

“Shhh…come here….come here my pretty baby….”

His voice was just as soft, despite him being awake for a while now. Gently stroking his nose up and down your cheek, you shift your head to face forward towards his. You were tired and groggy, yet you were still slightly upset over the argument....until….

Propping up on his knees, he was still wearing his punk-rock attire, a zip up black hoodie that remained partially opened, paired with sporting wristbands, a pair of straight blue jeans, worn and slightly torn, a black tee displaying a rock band logo, with his black cap.

Grouping your legs together, he reaches under the hem of your mini dress and hooks his fingers under your panties, slowly and delicately sliding them off. The room was terribly dimmed with the lights being off and being nighttime, yet the glimpse of the glaring street light from across the street provided a delicate hue of illumination through the window, allowing you both to subtly make out the features of each other’s bodies and faces.

Looking up from your lying state, you watch as he gleams his eyesight from above, not at all smirking, yet he didn’t at all look angry either. He looked bewildered….as if it was the first time he saw you. With a look of extreme love and admiration, he makes direct eye contact with you with slightly wide eyes, his mouth just faintly parted open as he gulps a breath.

“Why is he looking at me that way?....Why is he doing this? Is he not mad anymore?.....”

I fell while you were away You leave a woman at home Anyone will tell you

She's gonna stray

Unsure of what was happening or why he was displaying himself as such, you gently placed your hands on his forearms, gently pushing them aside…or you tried to. He wouldn’t remove them, despite you trying to move them away. It wasn’t that you were still angry, but you weren’t in the mood to do what he was aiming to accomplish, considering that you felt he needed to….

“I’m sorry…..pretty baby……I’m sorry my girl…”

Shocked, you raised a brow and slightly widened your eyes as he softly spoke out his words. With your underwear completely off, the skirt of your dress rolled up while the neckline and straps are pulled down. The flimsy material grouped around your waist, he remains on propped knees as he unzips and feeds out his length. He felt too overwhelmed to even worry about undressing himself.

Tightening his grip on your waist, he takes his other hand and strokes his lengthy muscle, before pressing the tip up against the subtle slit in between your folds.

“Wh-Heeseung wait…” your chest raises as you were experiencing further shock from the sudden contact of him beginning to enter inside you, all the while you were still trying to process the surprising avenue of him apologizing.

He never apologizes…not for something so serious. Usually if it was something minor he would, or if it was something he sincerely felt at fault for, but when it came to his hold and possession over you, he never felt wrong for the way he displayed his love for you…unless he was apologizing for something else. The thought of him finding out your messages never crossed your mind, how would it?

With him slowly pressing in, you began to feel the pressure of the sting and the pain that transitioned beautifully into that pleasurable tingle, that knot that build’s up in your lower gut as it drives you to crave more.

Uncontrollably, your hands drop their grip on his forearms, yet remained resting on top of them.

“Ah! Oh my God….” You gasped out. The way he moved as he slid in, it was so passionate and deep. Rotating his hips, twisting, and turning with a harsh yet slow gyrating motion, he buries himself deeper as he bellows out inside you.

Once he felt that he broke through your walls perfectly, he begins to thrust…starting off slow….working his way up to a pace that caused you to, despite being in a lying state, bounce up and down against the mattress.

“I’m sorry baby…..i’m sorry…please forgive me….” He breathes out deeply in between each word, as they all came dragging out of his pursed lips in a slight moaning tone as he felt the intense pleasure of thrusting in and out of you.

“Oh! Oh God! He-Heeseung!” your body starts to shift as the pleasure was too much for you to take in at a standstill, yet he held your steady with one hand on your waist, the other looped around your thigh.

“I shouldn’t have said those things to you….”

He speeds up the pace of his thrusts.

“Please ignore everything I said to you earlier….”

With the tip hitting that spot, your eyes roll to the back of your head as your body begins to tremble.

“Ugh!......uuuuuuugh! He-Heeseung pl-please!”

“Forgive me for everything I said….I should have known better than to say those things to you.”

“Heeseung!”

“I’m so sorry……tell me you’ll forgive me.”

Increasing the pace once more, his movements become jolting as he breaches his own orgasm, all the while he keeps gasping out his words of apology while you suffer the intense pleasure of being fucked with such deep and wounding passion.

Your body vibrates as you feel the knot tightening to the point where it was going to snap itself undone.

“Hee-Heeseung! Ugh!” you gasp as you arch your back, choking out gasping moans as your hands fling and slap on the sides of the bed, you lost all control of yourself as your body reacts and does whatever it wants to on its own accord.

“Yeah baby….I’m sorry…..” with the last bit of his words, he tucks his chin in as he leans down, nearly falling on top of you, yet he catches himself so as to not place all of his weight on you so suddenly while you vibrate violently from the intense orgasm that he just gave you. He too, felt the intensity of pleasure as he cums inside you.

You scream out as you fling your hands around, your body twitching uncontrollably. Taking both your hands, he pins them above your head and keeps them there as he leans in and kisses you. You weren’t able to kiss him back as your body was issuing gasping moans from the effects of the sexual high, yet it didn’t’ matter, he continued massaging your mouth as you gasped out your screams, his grip on our wrists tightens as he maintains them to be pinned above your head.

At that moment, you didn’t care about the argument nor your feelings on the matter. He softly tells you that while he wasn’t sorry about restricting you from going, you weren’t surprised. You knew that he was never going to be sorry or change his perspective over having a hold on you. You knew the very moment he said he was sorry, that it wasn’t for not allowing you to leave….but then what was it for?

“You loved me….even before we came together….didn’t you?” he softly speaks into your mouth as each word comes in during his passionate kiss.

“What?....”

Propping his head up as he rests against his forearms, still pinning our wrists down, he looks down at you with a wide eye look of amusement and love…it was almost terrifying. Never have you seen anyone look at you the way he does….even without his Ethan side, when Heeseung felt the passion of your love and consideration returned, he developed a wide stare that displayed a hungry look of desire, lust, and love that made you question how anyone could look so…..

“Insane….”

Leaning in after he gives a soft closed smile, he whispers in our ear….

“Those messages you sent to yourself….nine months ago…” reaching up with his hand, he keeps his face still and remains in place next to your ear, while his fingers strokes your opposite cheek.

“When you were still with him….and I was still with her…..”

Your eyes widened as you immediately recall the messages he spoke of. Your breath released a deep and slow gasp.

“…..How?......How did you see those?”

“On your phone…..while I was downstairs…..”

With the tears building up in your eyes, you recall the pain you felt back then…back when you thought that you would never have the chance to belong to him...that his heart would forever be out of your reach....and you felt lost....the pain he spoke of earlier, that he experienced while loving you from afar.... yet had no idea.... that you were feeling it as well….

Yet....as fate would have it.....he came to you....

I confessed You know the rest Promises you never kept Where were you baby You overslept When you hear that prison bell, think of me You're not the only one

Your life forever changed.....and it all started with.....

"Who made you cry?"

Authors note: This song was playing when i drafted the scene where you got the email. The lyrics pretty much represent your heart and feelings towards Samuel. The beat of it and the melody fit well with the love scene, it's melodic and sensual, so i thought it was perfect for you and Heethan. <3

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