#I'm shocked I've made it this far in life without another diagnosis

[banannabethchase]

Due to turning 32 and the world repeatedly nuking my ass with ailments so I don't become so powerful I overthrow god, I was recently diagnosed with PMDD. It explains the mood swings, the very bad thinky thoughts that last me 7 to 10 days, but the biggest thing that it explains is why it feels like something is consistently clawing its way out of me in ways I haven't experienced since my first couple periods in middle school. And it's every time I have my period.

Today it's particularly bad

My husband, the comedian, says it's because I got implanted by something after the Ospreay/Danielson match. We've decided it is Good Wrestling Spectation Disease.

So like. If any other wrestling fan gets bad cramps, no you don't. You have GWSD.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[ailendolin]

2021 - the good bits

Since 2022 has now begun (or as I like to call it: the third year of The Plague) I thought I'd take a look back at 2021 and all the things that brought me joy. Because no matter how shitty a year might have overall been, there is always something that makes you smile.

So without further ado, in no particular order:

My fandom friends: the Hugh Crew, the Officers' Club, the Hornblower fam and, still quite new, the lovely people from the Six Idiots fandom. You've all made 2021 a lot more funnier and exciting than it would have been without your fics, art, headcanons, discussions, asks and messages. I love you, and I'm very grateful to know you all. I wish you a happy new year and I hope it will be filled with happiness, laughter and smiles.

My writing: I wrote 45 fics in 2021 which is a new record for me. They range from one hyperfixation to another and every single one of them is dear to me. Looking back, I can say that writing has become a lot easier to me (as in, I can write more quickly than before) but editing still takes a long time because I'm not a native speaker and always start doubting every second word I wrote.

My music: I have started writing my own songs this year and it's great to see the progress I made between the first one I wrote and the last one. My newest song, inspired by Thomas's death in Ghosts, is the first one I felt comfortable playing in front of other people and when my dad said I should put it on Youtube, I can't say I didn't feel at least a little proud. I haven't uploaded it anywhere yet but maybe (if there's interest and I overcome my lack of self-confidence) I will someday. This could be my New Year's Resolution.

My family: I am grateful we've managed to get through this pandemic so far without anyone of us getting sick. And I'm even more grateful my mum's cancer treatment was such a success. Getting her diagnosis during our summer vacation was a huge shock and even though we know she'll never be cancer-free, it's such a relief to know she responded so well to the chemotherapy and still has a lot of time left. And finally, I'm happy I got to see my godchildren again after months of isolation! Those three fill my life with so much joy and I love them with my whole heart.

Fandoms: I had so much fun diving into the Age of Sail fandoms and watching Hornblower for the first time and The Terror for a second time this year. Both are brilliant shows and I'm looking forward to another rewatch this year. Then there was the Loki tv series which made me fall in love with Owen Wilson all over again and discover a couple of great films of his I haven't seen yet. And finally, the Six Idiots. It all started with a gif of Thomas Thorne and ended with me watching Ghosts thrice, Yonderland and Bill twice and Horrible History once in the span of three months. I can't even begin to describe how much comfort these shows and the Six Idiots in general have brought me and I'm so, so grateful I took a leap of faith in October and ordered the Ghosts DVDs because of that one single gif.

Music: I will never get over the fact that for one brief moment at the start of 2021, sea shanties were cool and the whole world was singing Wellerman. It's far from my favourite sea shanty but omg did I have fun recording myself singing it and sending it in for The Longest Johns' Wellerman Community Project. I still remember the excitement when the final video was released and everyone was trying to spot themselves among 6500 other people. The Longest Johns are something I've been grateful for since I discovered them in 2018 during what so far was lowest point of my life and I am so, so happy they finally get the success they deserve.

Other: I'm still laughing about the Ever Given Incident even almost a year later. That poor ship getting stuck in the Suez Canal will never not be funny. Another great thing of 2021 was the German Youtube project "7 vs Wild" where seven people try to survive for seven days in Sweden's wilderness with only seven tools. Hands down the most exciting and nerve-wracking thing I watched that year. Then there was MagicCon where I got to meet John Rhys-Davies and Bernard Hill for the first time and also experienced the joy of having Craig Parker as MC again. And finally, one thing that makes me really happy is that the Kakapo of New Zealand are breeding again! With only a little over 200 animals left, every breeding season is good news and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for lots of little Kakapo chicks in 2022.