#I'm supposed to be using my brain for school and work 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[cyanomorphlabs]

Imagine your friend leaving just a s m i d g e of highly-infectious berry virus inside your drink, as a little prank. She's walking around you when the two of you're taking a stroll, just going about your day. It's only until you're inside an elevator does it actually hit, and boy does it HIT.

Your form shifts, your entire body a midnight blue hue. The sound and smells are impossible to ignore, all while your friend is recording all joyfully, giggling. But it doesn't stop. Her shit-eating expression goes from gremlin to terror as your body's not stopping, pressing the button over and over to get the damn thing to open. It's only by a miracle do the two doors slide, your belly's pressure popping her out of the elevator entrance like a zit.

But you. Oh you're stuck. The metallic walls pressing it's sharp edges against your expanding hide, the pressure going from an embarrassing tingle to a painful string of pulls and pushes. All while your friend's camera lands right between her legs, pointed at you. The berry who grew too big, in something way too small. The berry who's remains put an entire floor out of access.

The Haz team's gonna have a day with you, huh.

I don't have to imagine shit, I've done this to like four people.

There's a reason that the halls here have cameras every ten feet.

There's a reason the hazmat team has such a high turnover rate!

There's a fucking reason that the all elevators have six-inch iron spikes on each wall!

[swiftiephobe]

Hello there !!!

Sorry I was gone for a couple of days, I’ve been eating leftover food and laying down and I literally had no idea what day it was until this morning when I realised I’m supposed to be working some time this week and it is tomorrow 😵‍💫 at least we’re working from home so I don’t have to wake up at 6 am !!!

Anyway, how have you been doing ?? Did you have a nice time ??? Are you permanently full until next year like I am ???

I want to tell you something interesting that I saw on TikTok. It’s supposed to bring you luck and it’s very popular in Latin America. So basically when the clock hits midnight on January 1st you need to sit down under a table and eat 12 grapes for the 12 months of the year and make a wish for each one within the first 60 seconds of the new year. I will be doing it because I really need things to liven up a little 🤪. Also if you want to travel you need to run around with an empty suitcase and if you want love you need to be wearing red underwear asdfghjll. Personally, I am very superstitious and I’m very into rituals that are believed to bring abundance and health etc. I don’t know if they work for real but at least it creates this placebo effect of being certain that your faith is sealed now that you’ve done what you need to do so you feel more confident and sure of yourself which is a plus !!!!

Do you believe is such things ? If yes, do you have some specific traditions and rituals that you guys do in Australia ?

I can’t wait to hear from you !!!

P.S. philology is similar to what you guys call an English, Italian, Spanish etc. major, I believe. If this helps you understand better what I study 😊.

Lots of love,

Secret Santa 🎅

hello!! i hope you had a lovely christmas 😄 i also had plentyyy of food, which is one of my favourite things about the holidays so i'm not complaining hehe.

that's so interesting! i'm not particularly superstitious and i can't think of any traditions like that for us in australia, but those ones you mentioned sound interesting and hey they can't hurt!! i would very much like to find love to maybe i need to go and find some red underwear ashfhsjfjsjf

and ohh i see! so it's like studying literature from your native language/country? i wish i had more of a brain for that kind of stuff, i enjoy reading/engaging with media and identifying themes and stuff like that, but i don't think i've ever been very good at that super intelligent academic level of analysis! having to study english in high school broke my soul by the end because of how frustrated i got with it haha.