#I'm working on my compulsion to bring up my cursed facts

[i-drew-a-ferret]

Talking to me is like russian roulette, because I have a lot of not so fun facts, and have a really hard time not bringing them up if you remind me of them. Like recently I was having a conversation about bees vs wasps and how to avoid being stung, and then I started talking about those wasps who lay eggs inside of caterpillars + how their ovipositors work.

[tainbocuailnge]

Do you have any tips for writing Oberon? I'm struggling getting a handle on him for my fic.

i don't know about writing him because I don't write fic but I can tell you some things I personally find important about his characterisation

oberon may be suicidal but he's not defeatist. in fact he's extremely stubborn and will get back up as many times as it takes until his goal is realized. he wants to die but he absolutely refuses to die on anything but his own terms. oberon doesn't break, not because he was broken from the start or anything but because he's simply too stubborn to have a breaking point. he doesn't stay down, he doesn't get demoralised, he relentlessly keeps working towards his goals. by all means he should be broken from the start what with being a corpse puppeteered by bugs and his very existence being meant to bring an end to all things, he just refuses. he's terrible at staying down because he embodies the will of a land that wants to die but kept on trucking for 14.000 years.

oberon always lies, but his lies aren't just blatant untruths. they're lies because you can't derive meaning from them. he IS capable of saying things that are true, just not in a way where he can make it unambiguously clear that it was true so you're always left wondering just how much of it he meant. you can't believe his words so you have to trust in his actions, because that is where his actual intentions show. vortigern tells guda he killed everyone on the shadow border starting with mash, but he hands them an apple while doing so because he can tell they're tired and haven't eaten in a while. i wouldn't say he's a compulsive liar per se, it's not that he personally struggles to be honest so much as that the world itself conspires to make it impossible for his words to have meaning and he needs to dance around that. oberon chooses his words very carefully, because he is cursed so that anything he says loses meaning.

vortigern is not smooth. sorry to all the simps out there but he will never kabedon you and if he did guda wouldn't blush about it they'd just dunk on him because their whole relationship is rooted in them being able to see through his bullshit. he's not a cool evil king. he's not a hammy villain. he's not a domineering figure. vortigern is a guy in pain who is acting tough by wearing a cloak that's too big for him. his idea of being sexy and evil is unbuttoning the collar of his frilly blouse like he's genuinely just a dude the same way castoria is genuinely just a country girl.

one common misconception i've seen go around is that the welsch fairies brainwashed (?) vortigern into believing he's oberon. this is false, from the start he was both vortigern and oberon and until the end he is both oberon and vortigern. it's bad to think of it as two separate people in a body or something like that too, because all of it is traits that are his own, he just picks and chooses which to emphasize. everyone acts different in different situations, he's just more extreme about it. when he's oberon he's lying about not being vortigern. when he's vortigern he's lying about not being oberon. the guy who wants to destroy the world and the guy who wants to save the world are the same, because the reason he wants to destroy the world is that it was built on the suffering of those who weren't deemed important enough to be saved so if there's a chance to save them after all he's compelled to try it. his true personality lies between those two extremes, and the closest we get to seeing it is the rude oberon that shows up to chaldea after all is said and done. because he's way too stubborn to stay down, so in the end he will always get back up and try to be the fairy king that the bug fairies need him to be again.

[doyelikehaggis]

Rowing the Rarepair Rowboat: Enzo St. John x Maria DeLuca | Michael Quinn x Maggie James

Glancing up at the flashing neon sign above, Enzo doubts himself. Those damn travellers were so cryptic before they decided to spontaneously combust. The only thing they left behind was a note to him.

Find her. Roswell, New Mexico. Wild Pony.

For years, the thought of finding Maggie once he was finally free--because he was sure he would be, someday, somehow--was one of the only things that kept him going through it all. To thank her. To see that she got the life she deserved; a life full of love and happiness. A human life.

But a bar? She wanted to help people. He takes another quick look at the note, but sure enough, the sign reads the same name beneath the flashing image of a cowboy riding a horse.

Stuffing the slip of paper back into his jacket pocket, he shuts his car door and walks across the gravel to the entrance. He pulls the door open and steps inside.

The room's lit with soft lights, almost dim, just enough to feel welcoming. Chatter from the locals fills the air, a chuckle here or there from the tables. The quiet clatter of a pool cue hitting a ball over to his left, followed by a triumphant cheer and some lighthearted arguing.

He immediately decides that it's preferable over the Grill. Though perhaps that's because he's still unfamiliar here. Make a few enemies, specifically out of the bartender, and then it'll probably feel the same.

Not moving from the doorway, his eyes dart all across the room. They sweep from left to right, to right to left, taking in every face. None belonging to an elderly lady.

Disappointment sweeps through him briefly. Probably for the best, he thinks as the loud-mouthed rednecks at the pool table spout some distasteful language.

Ignoring them, he finally moves, making his way up to the back of the bar. Maybe the travellers sent him here to find one of her relatives, perhaps her child. Though he has no idea if he'd even recognize Maggie now, never mind a descendant of hers.

But when he reaches the bar and seeks out someone who'll be able to give him something to ease his frustrations, he stops dead. Proven wrong, it would seem, because he instantly recognizes the woman behind the bar, caught in the middle of a playful conversation with a rather tipsy man on a stool.

Except it's impossible. Not a feature has changed. She looks as young as the day he compelled her to forget him and walk out without ever looking back. Those dark eyes, so soft yet filled with life like a blazing match. The curve of her lips, that smile that filled his mind to replace the darkness everytime he closed his eyes.

It isn't possible. The only way...

His heart drops. He can't even stomach the thought. Compelling Maggie was meant to protect her, to keep her as far away from his world as possible. Unless she found another vampire more willing to turn her without knowing.

No. He refuses to believe that. But the proof is right there, undeniable. A relative, he tells himself. A daughter with an uncanny resemblance to her mother.

She notices him at last, her eyes flicking over to him. Straightening up and abandoning ber conversation in the process, she shoots him a warm, friendly smile that makes his throat close up.

"All right there?" she asks with a slight chuckle, eyeing him. "You look lost. Or like you've seen a ghost. Neither one uncommon here, surprisingly."

Enzo doesn't know what to say. He realizes she doesn't recognize him. Nothing in her expression or her eyes tells him she has the faintest idea who he is. Of course not, he chides himself. Because she's not Maggie.

"New in town, I take it?" she continues on anyway, apparently unbothered by his lack of response. "I know all of the local's faces; I should, considering I've lived here my whole life."

Something comes loose in his chest. Her whole life. Maggie wasn't from Roswell. There's a sinking feeling inside of him that he can't ignore no matter how he tries.

"Your whole life?" he hears himself ask faintly, forcing an interested smile onto his face. "Must really like this town."

The woman shrugs. "It's my home. But" --she leans both hands on the bar, grinning at him now with that same spark in her eyes-- "with an accent like that, I can see I was right in saying it's not yours."

Enzo huffs out a chuckle and nods. "You caught me. I've visited before, though. Couple times, long time ago."

Her eyebrows furrow the tiniest bit and her head tilts in curiosity as she stares at him. He can see her trying to recall him.

"Weird," she says after a beat. "I feel like there's no way I would forget someone like you..."

She trails off somewhat pointedly, expecting an introduction. He opens his mouth to give it despite his better judgment, but she beats him to it, holding a hand up to stop him.

"Wait, hold on, I'm psychic. Let me take a shot at this."

Her eyes are wide and excited, and he can barely bring himself to be fazed by the claim of being psychic. There's a snort from down the bar from the man she'd been talking to.

She rolls her eyes but otherwise ignores him, her attention fixated on Enzo. Keeping their gazes locked, her eyes narrow. It's taking everything in him not to give anything away. If she's really psychic, somehow, then that won't be a problem.

"I think that... your name is... Michael." As soon as the name falls from her lips, there's a guffaw from her friend and she groans. "Oh, tell me I'm wrong."

But Enzo's heart has stopped again. Michael was the name he had on his file when she was working at Augustine. Dr. Whitmore had taken him from the Air Force, while he was still under his alias of Captain Michael Quinn. It's what Maggie knew him as him until he confessed his real name a few months before she left.

"Just can't get me off your mind, can you, DeLuca?" her friend says, evidently enjoying himself a great deal. He turns to Enzo. "I'm Michael, by the way. The person that the lovely Maria here claims to despise, and yet..."

He waves a hand as if providing all the evidence he needs to make his point. Maybe that's it, Enzo thinks, and his mind catches the name this Michael uses. Maria. Not Maggie. Similar but not the same. Maria DeLuca, by the sounds of it. Not James.

Maria scoffs and aims the towel in her hand at Michael, who merely laughs and dodges the blow of it.

"Ignore him," she tells Enzo, turning back to him.

He laughs it off as well. "That's okay. Maria, was it?"

She nods, her lips pressing together in a smile again. "That's right, mysterious stranger whose name is definitely not Michael. Sorry about that. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong. It happens."

Part of him is tempted to tell her she's not wrong. After all, he was Michael for over ten years. Who's to say that means it isn't still part of his identity?

"Well, it is my middle name, so not entirely wrong," he decides to say. "I'm Lorenzo. People usually just call me Enzo."

Maria's face lights up, her smile brightening. "Middle name is good enough for me. And it's nice to meet you, Enzo. So, what can I get for you?"

"Er, just a bourbon, please."

He hesitates, then takes a seat on one of the stools. His eyes stay glued to her as she pours him a bourbon. How is this even possible?

Doppelgangers exist. He knows that far too well from his brief time in Mystic Falls, but that was a curse. Maggie was never in the middle of some two-thousand-year-old love affair involving vengeful travellers. As far as he's aware.

Maria sets the glass down in front of him. He thanks her and slides the money over before taking a long drink. At this rate, he's going to need a lot more than one glass.

"So, Enzo," Maria says, and pain spikes through his heart at hearing that same voice say his name again after all these years. "What brings you to our lovely but ultimately boring little town? Is it the aliens?"

He can't help but laugh at that. Once upon a time, it was in fact the aliens that brought him here.

"No, no, though I wouldn't mind seeing a few," he jokes, and is pleased when she laughs, too. He then sighs. "But I'm looking for someone. A woman I used to know. We... lost touch for a while."

Maria frowns. "Oh. Well, what's her name? Like I said, I know everyone in this town. If she's been here, I'll remember."

He stares at her for a moment. I'll remember. Something about the way she says it sends a shiver through him.

"Maggie James," he says before he can process he's doing it. "Her name's Maggie James."

For the briefest flicker of a moment after he says it, he admittedly expects recognition to flash across her face and for her to say that's her mother's name. Or an auntie. Someone in her family, something to explain this, because he can't think of a single logical explanation otherwise.

But her eyes stay blank and distant, still frowning. Then he notices that her frown has actually deepened. More thought than required for remembering a name of a stranger you met once or twice. And the blank look in her eyes is too blank, like they've glazed over, completely detached from reality.

Enzo's heartbeat quickens. Her expression twitches. It's a tiny movement, invisible to the human eye. But he catches it, and everything crashes down inside of him. It's the look of someone trying to unearth a memory buried beneath layers of compulsion. Just below the surface but forever unreachable.

Then she blinks, and it's as if she's thrust back into her body. She straightens up a little too quickly, her eyes wide and dazed. But alert. And lost.

"Nope," she says, and shakes her head, reverting back to her casual composure from before. "Sorry. Doesn't ring any bells."

He can hear the lie in her voice. Feel it from her. It did ring a bell, just one she couldn't quite hear. Muffled by his own doing. Or something else, he just wouldn't know what. It can't just be his compulsion. It doesn't explain why she'd still be this young, why she has a completely different identity and life. None of it makes sense.

"Don't worry about it," he tells her, plastering on another careful smile. "I'm sure I'll find her."

He doesn't know why, but it feels like the truth. Something tells him he won't have to look far. It's just more complicated now, is all. But when has he not loved a few complications here and there? They're what make things interesting.

[eeveelutionsforequality]

(1) As much as I know of the self diagnosis vs self advocacy debate, I haven't seen anyone talk about how to self advocate when it comes to mental health. I strongly suspect I am bipolar, since I have a confirmed history of major depressive episodes, but I also have periods of experiencing symptoms of hypomania. I was also subjected to bullshit social skills classes in high school (I'm autistic), which among other things, taught me to communicate indirectly to avoid hurting people's feelings.

(2) I know it is caused me problems with communicating, but I am still in the habit of doing that, and I realized that may be why I'm not getting anywhere when I bring it up to my therapist. I'm not comfortable with resorting to self-diagnosis at this time, but I also think the lack of a correct diagnosis is why therapy has not been helping me cope as much as it could. How do I bring it up in a way that will let my therapist know I want her to address my concerns?

I praise self-advocacy as an alternative to self-diagnosis, because those ballsy enough to walk into a psychiatrist's office or a conversation and declare "I have [thing]" are probably able to more rationally approach the subject in a "These are my symptoms and I think it could be this..." way. But just like how autobiographies aren't the only kind of biography, self-advocacy is far from the only kind of advocacy.

You don't need to be your own advocate, somebody else can come along and advocate for you - a friend, a family member, a volunteer from one of the local advocacy groups, etc. There's a group near me that advocates specifically for autistic people, for example.

If your conversation skills are inhibiting you from being able to adequately discuss things with a professional, you don't have to do it alone - it's definitely worth doing some googling, popping into some places that have leaflets for that sort of thing, etc, and finding out what's available near where you live if there's nobody in your life that can do that for you.

I have two advocates - one is a family member and one is an honourary family member. I do research, send it to them, and they keep notes about my symptoms, fluctuations, things I've shown them, etc, so that my memory issues don't become a barrier between me and what I want to explain. It's a life-saver.

At my last appointment, one came along and helped me fill in the forms, meaning that I got about twice the information down that I would've got down if I was relying on only my own brain. When I had to go to a tribunal, one came along then too, and they were excellent at spotting how the judge was trying to twist my words and butting in to correct him.

If you're more comfortable self-advocating then there are a number of things that you can do to make the process easier.

Firstly, keep a diary. Every day you need to write down your symptoms, your mood, notable moments, things you want to ask the doctor, food, fluid, sleep, alcohol, etc. Take that with you.

Secondly, go over that before the appointment and write yourself a "script". It doesn't need to be detailed or word for word, just get down the most important points and the way in which you want to convey them (NOT the way in which the memory of social skills classes tells you to convey them, but what you'd want somebody to say to you if they were trying to convey this effectively to you). Take that with you.

What I did with my DID was write a draft script on a piece of A4 paper a couple of weeks beforehand, and then I let my alters add to it or make notes on it with their opinions - I took that in with me and showed the doctor, and the differences in handwriting and wording had a much bigger impact than I was expecting and really helped in getting them to seriously consider that possibility.

Thirdly, don't waffle. I know it's tempting to be like "I have to get all of the details out in the first speech", but the therapist is going to ask questions afterwards. Boil what you need to say down to its key components, the facts that you need her to understand as the foundation moving forwards, and work out how to effectively convey those in less time than somebody would get the urge to interrupt - no tangents, no innuendo, just "This. That. The other thing too." But don't skip important details for the sake of brevity - find the balance.

Fourthly, make sure that you have the right psychiatrist. The counsellor that I had in college and the clinical psychiatrist that I had in hospital were both able to pick up on the things that made me more comfortable and more able to speak, and both knew not to interrupt me - the two of them learnt more about me and made me more comfortable than any other professional, just by letting me drink a hot chocolate and doodle on my phone. The psychologist who did my mindfulness therapy, on the other hand, insulted me for using my phone and my wall became 87% thicker in less than a second. You have to be working with somebody who lets you speak and who understands the way in which you speak.

Fifthly, if you know what helps you speak, tell them; if you don't know what helps you speak, begin the conversation with words to the effect of "I'm really struggling to get this out, but I prepared really hard, so I'd really appreciate it if you'd let me say my piece, and then we can discuss it afterwards instead of you interrupting me and making it harder for me to get out what I need to get out." If they then interrupt you, remind them that at the beginning of this they promised not to do so.

Remind yourself mentally that this is your therapy, this is your recovery, this is for you, this is important, and you deserve to be heard.

Sixthly, do research but downplay how much research you've done... "I stumbled across something that accurately described my experience and they called it hypomania" sounds a lot better than "I heard of hypomania on tumblr and spent twelve hours researching it" because the latter says to a doctor "I convinced myself that I have this because it sounded cool".

I was seeing psychiatrists back when the emo fad started, I was talking to them at the height of "Teenagers are all pretending to have depression because they read about it on the internet and think it's cool" days, so I know first-hand how eager some professionals can get to jump to that conclusion - unfortunately, there were times when seeing doctors felt more like a test of my ability to word the truth in a more digestible way than an opportunity to actually talk about how I was feeling.

An essential part of research should be to get your terms right - I fucked up back in the day because I referred to my compulsion to mime slitting my wrists or shooting myself in the head when I'm panicked as a "suicidal gesture" (however there's a medical term, "suicide gesture", that sounds almost identical and it means when you feign a suicide attempt by injuring yourself in a non-deadly manner, typically for attention) and not as a compulsion, which is part of how my OCD diagnosis got wrongly changed to a BPD diagnosis. I had never even heard of the terminology, I was just saying "I have to do a suicidal gesture when I'm panicking" meaning "When I'm panicked I have the compulsion to mime ways in which I envision killing myself", it was just poor wording, I had no idea that it was a medical term with an entirely different meaning. That created a huge misunderstanding, as you can imagine.

Seventhly is some advice that a friend gave me and honestly it's one of the best things that I've ever heard and comes in two parts: 1) play to your strengths, and 2) use your acting voice.

So part 2 is the easy one, everybody has something called a chest voice - it's a deeper voice that you use when singing or performing that projects better. Look up some YouTube videos on how to use your chest voice and practice it - it conveys a confidence that most people's normal voices do not. You could also stand in front of a mirror and work on your facial expressions.

Part 1 is a little more complicated and probably something that people will frown upon me for saying but... in this world you gotta be a little manipulative sometimes, you've got to assess situations and respond accordingly, you've got to word things certain ways.

I'm a very small, quiet person with an accent that immediately halves my IQ to everyone who hears it, it is near enough impossible for me to convey an air of superiority and maturity, but it's easy for me to play dumb and sweet. I can't get the psychiatrist to shut up by being somebody who sounds like I know what I'm talking about, if I get annoyed or snap it won't look like anger (I'm too quiet and I physically do not possess angry face muscles, I hate it), but if I go quiet and stare sadly at the floor then people notice and ask what's wrong. I can't get somebody to inherently assume that when I name a disorder I know what I'm talking about, but I can pretend that I've never heard of it or heard it in passing, and lead them into suggesting it.

I'm an extreme case in this regard and it's usually not a good idea to hide your real emotions and act when you're in a scenario where somebody is literally monitoring your body language for signals... there are definitely hardcore disadvantages and risks to that, and I am most certainly not recommending misleading your doctor, in fact I'm actively advising against doing that (I'm just saying that I do that sometimes, because I'm a dick and because my voice trying to yell "Shut the fuck up!" when I feel that angry usually only earns an "It doesn't even sound like swearing when you do it, that's adorable." because I'm fucking cursed).

What I am saying though is that I can't tell you exactly how to act (in fact, I'd be encouraging you to do something that I literally just said is bad if I did tell you how to act), I can't tell you exactly what words to say, where to put your hands, etc. The tip here is that you've got to be able to improvise, to assess the situation, to adapt, to know what you are and are not capable of and work within that, to see when a path is either going nowhere or going off topic and figure out how to direct it back, you've got to know how to talk to that specific person (professionals are just people, at the end of the day, and every person is different in how they speak and how they like being spoken to - some respond best to you casually bringing stuff up, some respond to structure, some click with you, some really don't).

Eighthly and most importantly, don't let any of this get you nervous. This advice is almost a "How to survive some of the shittiest doctors I had" sort of thing. The most likely outcome is that they're going to listen intently to what you have to say, trust you, respect you, ask the appropriate questions, and help you make sense of what's going on.

I have no doubt that you can do this and that you will absolutely rock it - you don't need that confidence in yourself, but reminding yourself that it's going to go well, that you're badass, that the professional is there to help you, and that they'll want this information as much as you want them to have it, that stuff will help. Believe in the heart of the cards, or the power of friendship, or your Pokémon, or something.

So, to put all this into something vaguely actionable (although I can't really give you much specific advice because I don't know what's going on in your head, so this is just like... idk vague template example thingy), the foundation of what you want your doctor to know is "I have the symptoms of hypomania, I want you to seriously consider the possibility that this is bipolar and not just depression."

In your symptom diary, keep track of the symptoms of hypomania - irritability, sleeplessness, recklessness, elation, etc - note down when they show up, how bad they are, how they impact you, your food and fluid and alcohol intake, the times of day when certain things happened, how well and long you slept, etc, but also jot down the depressive episodes and other potential symptoms, in case you need to answer questions in regards to those.

Next, write down the key points that you want to bring up on a separate note: how often did the symptoms generally show up? for how long? which are the most damaging? what is the worst thing that happened as a result?

Now you're in the appointment with your note and diary, you've told the doctor "You know I have some communication issues so I really need you to let me say what I've prepared, because I feel like the fact that the things I'm about to discuss aren't being addressed is really inhibiting my therapy." The doctor has agreed to let you speak and you've got your notes in front of you, and you say (a more applicable to you equivalent of) "I started a symptom diary a little while ago, I've brought it with me - I made note of symptoms, food intake, medication, sleep, and so on. I noticed that I was getting exceptionally irritable and hyperactive, especially during periods of a few days when I wasn't exhibiting as many of the depression symptoms, and I've ruled out sleep, food, and other factors as causes. On the fourth of last month, I got so restless that I couldn't sit down and I actually gave myself blisters pacing back and forth for six hours - while during the depressive episodes I can barely even manage to walk to the bathroom let alone pace. I came across an article online while looking up ways to ease the irritability, and I found that a few people described things incredibly similar to what I was going through, and they used the term 'hypomania'. I was hoping that we could talk through the symptoms that I've documented, and you could help me get my head around what's going on and how to treat it."

Then the doctor asks her questions, you answer as honestly and fully as you can, and try to cite evidence from your symptom diary.

If you can't manage to say the words that you need to say to start off such a conversation, then instead of just writing notes you could fully write out what it is that you want to say, and ask them to read it - explaining that you feel especially anxious about your ability to vocally express this, but it needs to be addressed because it's negatively impacting your therapy and your state of life.

Or, as I suggested at the beginning, have somebody else come along as an advocate.

That's just my advice stemming from my own experience... for some people, this advice might be unhelpful. As I mentioned earlier, you need to assess your situation, assess what you are and are not capable of, assess how your doctor usually responds to you, what they respond well to and what they respond poorly to, and so on - everybody's situation is different, so there isn't a list of "This is exactly what to say and do to get a doctor to listen to you" (as much as the crowd of people who adore convincing doctors that they have the next fad would love for there to be something like that). Ultimately, like any conversation, it's about what works best for the two individuals involved in that specific conversation.

Since I've broached this less from a general self-advocacy stand point (heck, I may even have pissed off self-advocacy people because a lot of this was "tips on how to stop shitty doctors being shitty" rather than all of the stuff about keeping records and knowing your rights and so forth) and more from a "personalized tips pulled from Vape's ceramic jar of ways to avoid my shitty mistakes", I'm now going to give you a handful of links to some more professional self-advocacy sites, and I recommend that you do proper research on the topic for a few hours on google. As flattered as I am that you came to me, and as hopeful as I am that my advice helps in some way, me waffling about the ways I avoid getting screwed over again isn't professional advice - I'm very aware, as someone who's worked in a youth group, that I am not the fountain of all knowledge and that it is my job to pass you on to those more capable and to ensure that you know that my word isn't law.

So check out some of these and do more specific research and googling when you have the time (these aren't all about self-advocacy in medical care, some are about self-advocacy in other areas or advocacy in general, but I hope the advice may still be useful):

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/advocacy/#.WlaI26CnzqA

http://www.familyaware.org/how-to-model-mentalhealth-selfadvocacy/

http://www.cooltanarts.org.uk/what-we-offer/self-advocacy/

https://www.voiceability.org/support-for-you/self-advocacy/

http://www.dhs.state.il.us/page.aspx?item=39797

https://www.ncld.org/archives/action-center/what-we-ve-done/self-advocacy-5-tips-from-a-student

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/9767596

https://www.includenyc.org/resources/video-detail/10-self-advocacy-tips-for-young-people-with-disabilities

https://www.kidney.org/content/5-tips-self-advocacy

Also, full disclosure, I haven't thoroughly read all of these and I'm low on sleep and running on way more caffeine than I should really have had... I'm probably not in the best state to be imparting important information right now, but I really hope that somewhere in this jumble I said something that was useful. (I also love how the quality just gradually declines after I start craving a cigarette at the midway point... I'm so sorry.)

EDIT: PS I'm sorry that I got pronouns and job titles and stuff jumbled up all through this, uhh, my brain is running on super fast mode right now so it's not really accessing all of the important files or deeper processing. I'm sorry, again.

Alternatively, if your therapist is super great and trusts you "I think I've been experiencing hypomania, and I think this may be bipolar and not just depression" will work fine... but the symptom diary, that is a good tip for anybody and everybody, regardless.

~ Vape