#IF NO ONES GOT ME IK KEIRONS GOT ME

[macbethz]

Going back to reading gillen after so many bad and mid comics is like a breath of fresh air finally someone who can write

[melanin-dreams]

Points:

- you asked me to trust you which i am making a conscious effort to do but -prioritize my feelings -you leaving yourself open for terah friendship is worrisome -im not asking for an apology but this is hard and I want to make this work and you say you don't want to jeopardize us again and I really dont feel comfortable with that. -I closed off communication with people you weren't comfortable with e.g keiron and gervais because I deadass am set on making a full commitment. Potential people I can end up flirting with or "entanglements" I ensured that I can't be caught in those cause i constantly made it clear that I wasnt on that.-Ignoring that im still sure sade still has feelings for you ((and im still not 100% sure you dont have some level of feelings for her)) and im pretty sure that even with the drama of her bf yall tried something either when we broke up or even towards the end of feb when us breaking up was just a discussion and you wasnt sure what to do im terms of being with her or me((...that's a pretty large thing to ignore..)) -I deadass am not comfortable with you keeping lines of communication open with terah cause you curious and you dont want to be rude and you don't want her to cause a scene etc etc. -You say trust you? Okay. I trust you guys wont go on drives and go hugging and kissing up. I trust that you wont go by her and lime for hours for no reason. I trust that you won't flirt with her or send her nudes or invite her over and cuddle her in your room while you tell me youre stuck at work. I just do not feel comfortable with her having you as a fall back option as someone to talk to or rant to. -And no that isnt me telling you to block her but I just don't like the feeling where im like hmm wonder if she gonna ask him to go her with her and he gonna say yes or wonder if she gonna ask him to get this or her and he gonna say yes -And dont be like im being paranoid. Told myself that in January/February and well here we are -And again I'm not saying any of this to offend you or looking for an apology but i really am not comfortable with it. -((And ik you and sade are coworkers so i guess I just have to trust you when you say nothing is going to happen...again)) -😂😂yk when they say when people show you their colours believe them. -I really want us to work Chris and I can honestly say that im doing what i can to ensure that. I support you. I listen when you want to rant. When you get upset with your game I yell back at the game and the players with you. I bake you muffins and buy you snacks. I encourage you to exercise amd drink water and go walking with you to ensure you get some exercise and relieve some manner of stress. I am down for sex almost anytime or anywhere. Hell sometimes i even buy the supplies. When we cant i send nudes or vids of me masturbating. Im loyal and ensure that the people around me know it and discourage any advances. I give you head stractches and kisses and hugs. I wrote you letters cause you told me when we first got together you liked cheesy stuff so i tried reallt hard to get cheesy. Even one of the reason why I use to sing you are my sunshine almost everything i cuddled you. I tried my hardest to help you with your future and get a job. I even helped shape your resume and a generic cover letter for you to use. Ik that if i want to be a part of your life regardless of what happens your fam gotta at least not hate me so i tried to be charismatic and get them to like me. Your mum intimidates me so much but I always try to smile and be polite and funny and smart. ((No thats not me saying i dont like her. I think she is pretty funny..im just intimidated by her))