#Idk how to tag rbh

[azk-rajie-tdix3]

HEY EVERYONE! Raj here, yknow, the guy from the total drama reboot! I decided to kinda get on here to maybe make some posts about my hockey team (The snow owls! HOOT HOOT!!) and well, the show itself!

Make the team capitalize off of the TV fame, ey? I'm real excited to meet some fans and people on here, though! Follow the rest too!

I use he/him, and I'm 16! I won't interact with anyone who sends me like.. Any weird stuff..

Ask me about the snow owls PLEASE

BUT YEAH!! I can't wait to talk to some people and have just a good time! Thanks for reading this if you did!

(OOC UNDER CUT)

(WHEN TYPING OOC, I WILL BE USING '(_)' AS I AM NOW!

Hi, owner of the acc here! I decided to make this blog cuz one of my friends convinced me... @ask0fficialpriya TY babygirl /p.

I AM A MINOR as is Raj, any nsfw, suggestive, inappropriate interactions will result in an immediate block. Nerd.

WE'RE A SYSTEM. Unsure if the rest will be on this acc, so don't expect too frequent replies. I'll try to be active, but it depends on how the others feel.

That being said, I'm a RAJ FICTIVE. And I'm NOT above projecting my source onto the real character nerds 🙏🙏 so don't send me stuff like "noo Raj isn't a scene alt kid" <- me when I'm a little BITCH

I apologize if I'm accidentally ooc, as I said, I'll be projecting my source and I'm mostly here to have fun, ey? Also, English isn't my first language, expect minor spelling errors here and there!

TIMEZONE: CET.

[hyperexplosion]

Vent ignore - don't message either I just need write my thoughts out

I hate needing to do something with my hands when I get like this but not wanting to do anything

Like okay glad Ik why I feel worse worse

But also been feeling like this all month even on trip to see concert but that's just cause you know

When you sit in a car with people that are ahead of you in life.

Ywah

I'm just

I feel better off gone more and more each day passing

Ik I'm trying I'm trying study to drive so I can get somewhere

But I just it all feels pointless worthless idk

Maybe I'll lock myself away tomorrow toss my phone aside and just go quiet I just idk

I thought if I came here write my feelings cause I don't wanna vent and hotlines are shit and I'm writing on paper is better but I use most my journals for other things as I keep organized so I'm here

In a way this post won't be seen and will be lost

I also muted like so many groups cause I was getting anxious around so many people like cool glad you all are doing something while I'm laying in bed rotting again cause I have no goal or life I am holding everyone back

I am able to act all cool all chill but idk I need shut up rbh

I just

I don't feel scared

I'm a nuisance I make money by cooking dinner and I can't even save that money like I can't be trusted with money but buying things makes me feel happy for few seconds and right now I just wanna buy photocards and more albums hahahha

I don't touch my savings at least

I cut off so many people how many more do I have to cut off

I struggle to chat unless I feel connection with other but even then I struggle I try push away or I just can't fucking shut up about something on my mind I'm just really bad with people I have bad trust I struggle talk I can't speak or say words right I don't have proper grammar I struggle to talk about my interest and make them seem so interesting and get people into things

Like legit can't shut up about ATEEZ I bring them up every hour why can't I just be fucking normal human being and be likeable why can't I ask people to be here why can't I just fucking talk why can't I just keep possible friendships

I mean okay, this I don't want to I really don't wanna talk about this right now

I mean I have with my mom

And then I don't wanna tell anyone I'm feeling down cause then it feels like I'm being avoided or walking on eggshells

I'm just

I'm tired

This is longer then expected and not being put in tags cause there's a limit and I want low possibility of anyone seeing his

Why can't I just think of a positive future

Not even about weight anymore I'm like almost 30 and I have not nothing had no job my entire life - I didn't deserve graduate school cause I cheated and my teachers special passed me

I'm a fucking idiot. I am not joking when I say I am stupid.

I can't learn by reading shit I don't remember anything I can't drive, and like how am I supposed work in a job when I'm so fucking stupid? Like math in my head? Non existing, am I going have to remember shit? Yeah but will it stay? Probably fucking not

My parents say they are proud of me but how am I making you fucking proud by doing nothing am I making you proud cause I'm bed rotting? That I did graduate highschool but it's all cause I got special passed and cheated? I'm not in college I don't have a job are you lying to me

Can I even cook or does my food actually taste gross

I have paranoia to the point a stranger fucking talking to me fucking freaks me out, I see shit, I fucking am so scared to be out alone I hear shit I'm so fucking jumpy

I'm scared to do shit and was told I was closeted child like yeah sorry I just don't like being out night this day and age and rather be home sorry I don't have a social battery that last forever sorry I don't wanna drink cause I get addicted and I want a fucking drink right now, or that I don't wanna smoke weed cause I already have bad paranoia or that I don't go to parties cause I don't like being surrounded by groups of people sorry I always feel left out in groups I feel awkward in groups1 sorry I don't agree with stealing sorry sorry sorry why keep me around then like even before paranoia and all that I just never liked parties I never liked groups I always been in set of three what do you mean you have 5 or more friends that's so many that's so many in a group what do you mean

Why keep me fucking around

I can't even have a conversation without crying I get mad so fucking easily cause I can't control my emotions and idk

And yeah I want get therapy and everyone makes it so easy but how can I when mom isn't doing good on money and I can't even keep a single fucking 200 in my fucking account

I don't even fucking have 100 and I expect myself to want see another kpop group fuclc I took out a fucking loan just to see teez cause maybe be my last show

I'm just idk this felt like it helped as it finally got me to cry since I haven't been able to but I'm still

I'm not scared anymore

I won't do anything I'm just going to lay here and try to get to sleep now