#Idk what possessed me to draw this dumpster fire

[gyurul]

[waters-and-the-wilde]

okay scenario. somewhere mid s3 the Carte Blanche ends up working with some of Buddy's criminal contacts/acquaintances who also take something of a specific and possibly impertinent interest in the Unnatural Disaster. their guy clocks Nureyev as 1.) the shady sixth ranger with the least amount of rapport with Jet, and 2.) a gossipy bitch (bc that was the gender he put on when he left the house that day) so they get him aside and try to get him to talk

nureyev’s is like. hmm. (juno is being mouthy to try to draw attention to himself. buddy has been a very particular kind of polite and pointed, and vespa is. playing with a knife and glaring. which to be fair she Does That but she's watching this guy and only lightly heckling juno and if nureyev is starting to suspect that they're maybe playing off each other a bit? and jet seems like he's just trying to vibe but he's definitely sticking even closer to rita than usual.

and then. oh he can tell the guy's trying to get him to talk about Jet, and sure he could just dissemble without a fuss but… he could also dissemble and make the other guy feel awkward about it)

nureyev: listen. i know what you're after. and i understand, truly. you want to know if it's true what they say about him, but you're too intimidated to ask outright.

contact: *shifts nervously*

nureyev: and of course, who could blame you? he's even more compelling in person, isn't he? the gravitas, the self-possession, the shoulders.

their contact: uhh. i mean you're not wrong.

nureyev: and he can cook.

contact: ...wait really? huh. you know he seems like a really good listener too.

nureyev: oh, absolutely. but i think it's only fair to warn you that you ought not to get your hopes up. because it's entirely true - he's just not interested. in anybody. devoted in his friendships, to be sure, but when it comes to all other affairs, you'll find him completely impervious. nothing personal. you could have just asked him, there'd be no harm in it, and i'm sure he'd let you down gently -

juno (wandering over to see what's up): could go either way, really. he put me in a dumpster and threatened to crush my head with the lid.

their contact: ...

nureyev (dear i am trying to make them feel bad about their assumptions about our friend and you are undermining the bit): compared to what other people have followed through on after meeting you, i'd say that only proves that he's a very paragon of restraint and circumspection. you do have a way about you, dearest beloved.

juno: you know if i had a cred for every time I had a crush on a master thief who put me in the garbage, i'd have... two creds, i guess.

nureyev (nostalgically): we both ended up in that garbage chute, didn't we?

juno: and I hated every second of it.

nureyev: I know dear you complained about it vociferously

*smooching*

their contact: ohh well that's a shame thanks for the heads up im just gonna - i think my hovercraft is on fire

nureyev (absentminded, still gazing into juno's eyes): bye-bye now

juno: i can cook too you know

nureyev: i know dear but we mustn’t let it get around, the last thing i need is another crime ring trying to sweep you off your feet

juno: i mean. wouldn’t they look at you first?

nureyev: my love. I can’t cook.

juno: oh yeah

(their contact's boss, later: so did you find anything out about what the Unnatural Disaster's up to now that he's back on the scene?

their contact: im sorry he's never gonna go out with you. the rumors are true he's like. completely aro-ace.

boss: oh.

contact: yeah

boss: are you sure

contact: no yeah. i thought maybe aurinko's son was just talking out his ass but their hacker backed it up.

contact: she was really nice actually. gave me a coupon for her favorite ice cream place.

contact: do. uh. do you wanna get ice cream with me.

boss: ...yeah that'd be nice.

boss: (later over ice cream) wait aurinko has a son??

contact: or whatever he’s adopted idk but he's super obnoxious

[derekmorganscrocs]

Nancy Drew 2x9

Thoughts While Watching

Spoiler Alert!!

Aw no poor bess. AW PLATANCHOR ACE! Oh besties so cute. Poor bess oh no

Odette coming through with the pessimistic vibes about the day. Me. Always. “Nickolas” HAHAH Odette please. She’s so sassy. “No I’m not au-revoiring, you are.” Nick pls. GEORGES TATTOOS- George is gonna die omfg. Pls Nick is the only logical one here. OF COURSE IT WAS GONNA GET STOLEN YOU PUT IT IN YOUR DAMN LOCKER.

oh it’s probably Gil, not Grant. Sorry I thought you were a murderer grant. NOT THE PIE. why’d ace sound so sad about the pie. TELL ME STONER BOY DIDNT SNITCH.

AW ACE THE LIL FLOWER. “Aw Ace I’m so happy for you :) now I’m gonna die :)”. I think that Grant is an informant or something.

Sassy thief bad boy, I like. But I also don’t bc he’s tryna kill george. PROTECTIVE NICK! Detective Nick 😏. OH ACEMANDA, okay. Ohh

Okay wait I kinda feel bad for Gil. But mans is still going to end george. Oh Nick is v hot okay. Protective Nick. I love him. And Gil is kinda noble despite the whole killing george and theft thing ngl.

Carson coming thru. Of course, king Carson thanks babe. “Ok can GEORGE weigh in?” Pls george you’re funny.

BESS OMG WHAT R THOSE? TONGS? Carson and Bess moment funny. “Are you alright?” He sounds so fine with it but also so concerned. AW CARSON FATHERING BESS TOO PLS I LOVE HIM. The Drew Crew is now Carson’s Crew Of Baby Ducks.

Okay I mean at least Amanda didn’t spill. She’s so pretty too!!! Okay but I kinda like the bobseys ngl. Sorry guys. Gil is also very hot. I bet their mom either isn’t dead or is gonna show up as a ghost?? Okay but I feel bad for them no. Oh do I smell an Acemanda scavenger hunt?

NO NO NO NOT THE FANSON FIGHT. AW NO PLS I LOVE THEM. HES PROPOSING?! Oh no nvm. DO NOT BREAK UP. DO NOT. Fanson scavenger hunt?

Oh is that b dead? No nvm they’re still breathing. OH GIL JUST DIPPED. Patience impaired- MOOD. OH THAT WAS HOT “wasn’t this more fun than picking a lock” WOAH THERE BUCKO. YEAH BUT WOAH.

“Am I crying too loud” BESS IS A MOOD. Aww Carson is trying to distract her, please omg. Dad Carson is so cute. LAWYER BESS, LAWYER BESS.

Oh that’s creepy. NOT A BASEMENT- NANCY UR DUMB. OH THAT WAS SO FUCKING SCARY WHYD THIS PRINCE PHILLIP LOOKING MF JUMP LIKE THAT- NOT THE BASEMENT. fake wall? Yeah Gil break down that wall. OH GOD IS THAT HIS MOM?

HE STASHES THINGS BESIDE THE POLICE STATION- WHAT?! I love that. Acemanda could be cute though? Maybe? Idk I need to decide if I can share.

ODETTE IS BACK. Nick is so over it. WHY IS SHE SO SALTY ABT BEING STUCK IN GEORGE LMFAO. PLS “granite, limestone. Be done with it” ODETTE I CANT. She’s outta pocket. “Oh, well. Odette called me an idiot.” PLS NICK AND ODETTE ARE SO FUNNY.

Oh it’s just drawings, I thought it was a body. Poor Gil :( wait I actually feel bad. Ok I’m here for Gil but he’s pissing me off with this whole shroud thing. DONT KILL GEORGE, U HOE. Mommy’s ghost is boutta show up. NO WAIT WHAT IF SHE WAS KILLED BY A GHOST. she totally was. HAHA nancy got caught. I laugh but that was awkward.

KILLED BY GHOST, OBVIOUSLY. “We’ve heard great things about your restrooms.” PLS. Ace knowing nothing about art. NANCY ITS UNKOWN THEYRE OBVS NOT GONNA HAVE THE NAME.

Dad Carson aw. Pls besties Bess and Carson. AWWW THERE WASNT EVEN A HEARING. Carson should just adopt the entire Drew Crew. LAWYER BESS! LAWYER BESS! I WANT LAWYER BESS! Dad Carson please adopt me too. REASSURANCE. I LOVE.

“Technically they sold it to nick” “What?” PLS NICK/ACE IS SO FUNNY TO ME. besties are so funny. SHES NOT DEAD I TOLD YALL SHES NOT DEAD. IF GEORGE DIES I WILL RIOT.

GIL YOU NEED TO CHILL. SIR. PLEASE DO NOT DO IT. DONT DO IT. Oop Nancy is already there. SHES STILL ALIVE I TOLD YOU GUYS. please poor Gil. Aw, I feel so bad. She was definitely actually being haunted, but I digress. No please poor Amanda. “Why would she tell you but not me?” HIS VOICE GOT SO SMALL. TWIN MOMENT. okay but Amanda coming thru for the Drew Crew. WOOHOO GIL REDEMPTION!

“Cheer up Boss.” IF BESS DOESNT KEEP CALLING NICK BOSS ILL BE UPSET. “There’s still an old timey French lady living in my girlfriend.” AW OMG. ODETTE NO-

GEORGE NO. NONONO. oh thank god nick and Bess got there. Bess coming through with the lawyering. Nice. Bess crashing and burning here. “If you do this to george I wont have to imagine it. George deserves to live.” NICK- FANSON- CRYING. CRYING. OMFG HE LOVES HER. NICK I LOVE YOU. FANSON. HUG HUG HUG SWEET CUTE WOW. tag yourself, I’m bess crying in the background.

Nancy and Ace- “says the guy dating his twin sister” HE GAVE HER HIS HOODIE. I AM JEALOUS NGL. I’m very immersed in this, don’t Judge me. NOT THE BANANA CREAM PIE, NANCY PLS. oh they’re holding hands???

Acemanda on the boardwalk, the writers are stealing my ideas, smh. See: The Dumpster Fire I Call Life (linked below) OMG “I only need one” THAT WAS VERY CUTE AND I HATE IT. PLS STOP. JEALOUSY. CUE MR. BRIGHTSIDE- TPAIN SANS LE T- WAIT A DAMN MINUTE. ITS HIS BROTHER?! DO I SMELL FRANK HARDY?

Sister’s Thoughts:

“Why is Ace dressed like a fifth grader?” (It was the blue jacket with the green zipper that made her think that lmao)

“I’m just me, without any secrets,” Carson said.

“Except for your secret boyfriend.” My sister is the number one Caryan shipper.

“Aw Nick is the ghost possessing your girlfriend bullying you? Poor muffin.”

DUMPSTER FIRE FIC LINK: