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Clark Gable and His WW2 Death Wish

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Clark Gable did not intend to see action when World War II came to America. Which is not to say he ignored the war. Gable was there that day in 1940 when President Franklin Roosevelt gave his famous “Arsenal of Democracy” speech from the Oval Office. And, indeed, the first thing the movie star did when he heard about the Pearl Harbor attack was cable FDR to offer his full support—and, tellingly, the besieged president promptly answered right back.

But then in the 1930s and early ‘40s, Gable was “the King of Hollywood;” the reigning movie star who could sell more tickets than anybody this side of Shirley Temple, and he didn’t have to sing or dance to do it either. He was a mustachioed and muscular alpha who appealed to everybody, even presidents, and was one of the few leading men who would tell Louis B. Mayer no (at least until casting for Gone with the Wind came along). The government saw the value in that kind of celebrity when the dark storm clouds of war gathered over Europe and the South Pacific, and so did Gable. Still, he was practically 41 when the bombs fell in Hawaii and more than happy to support the war from afar.

As he told fellow MGM stablemate Jimmy Stewart at the latter’s going away party in 1940—Stewart had just happily joined the Army—“You know you’re throwing away your career, don’t you?” When Stewart answered yes, Gable added, “You won’t catch me doing that, but I wish you godspeed.”

Gable had success, Gable had power, and for the first time in his four decades on this earth, Gable had something approaching peace thanks to his marriage to Carole Lombard, the firecracker screwball star. Yet in less than a year, all of those things turned to ash following Lombard’s violent death. When her plane went down in a fiery blaze, it was treated as a national tragedy around the country, and for her husband it was the beginning of the end.

The King became broken, despondent, and finally disillusioned enough to enlist in the U.S. Army Air Corps. To this day, some say he went to Europe with a death wish, and on at least one bombing raid, Capt. Gable almost had it granted as a Luftwaffe shell passed right between his feet.

Clark Gable and Carole Lombard posing for photographers shortly after their marriage in 1939.

The King and Queen of Hollywood

Women were always easy for Clark Gable, and for a time so were wives. The first Mrs. Gable was Josephine Dillon, 17 years his senior, and she was introduced to him as an acting coach by another woman who was his then-fiancée. As a handsome, if unrefined son of an Ohioan farmer, the 23-year-old Gable was perfect clay for Dillon. She turned him into her greatest student, teaching him how to lower his voice and hold your attention. As his patron and wife, Dillon also introduced Gable to all her Broadway connections and the adjacent stock companies. It was even as the star of one of those companies that he met Maria Langham, a wealthy widow and oil heiress who was also 17 years his senior.

As the second Mrs. Gable, Ria introduced Gable to Manhattan’s high society and exquisite living, teaching him social etiquette and the value of a finely tailored tuxedo. One wife taught him how to play at being an actor, and the other taught him how to play at being a gentleman. They served their purposes and they were both brushed off.

But Lombard? He couldn’t brush her off ever.

The first time Clark met Carole, it was a surprisingly chaste affair. The two were cast as the leads of 1932’s No Man of Her Own. Unlike many of his leading ladies in the 1930s, Gable made no passes at Lombard, who was married to movie star William Powell at the time and intended to remain that way. Nevertheless, they hit it off, as the breathlessly quick-witted Lombard did with almost everyone.

Gable wasn’t yet “the King of Hollywood” then, but he was well on his way. Two years later, he’d star in the film that popularized screwball comedies, It Happened One Night (1934), which won him an Oscar for Best Actor, and two years after that he would lead the granddaddy of all disaster movies, San Francisco (1936). By ’38, he was already Tinseltown royalty when then-gossip columnist Ed Sullivan overheard Gable’s drinking buddy and sometime-rival, Spencer Tracy, affectionately refer to him as “King.” Sullivan immediately lit upon the idea of holding a national poll for the “King and Queen of Hollywood.”

More than 20 million people voted and, by a huge majority, Gable was crowned “King” for the rest of his career. Meanwhile, Myrna Loy was elected “Queen of Hollywood.” The fact they were then filming MGM’s Test Pilot (with Tracy) certainly suggests the results might’ve been tampered with. It also likely struck Loy as ironic since her first encounter with Gable ended with her pushing him into a hedge bush after he drunkenly bit the back of her neck while his second wife, Ria, was sitting in a nearby car. Gable refused for years to talk to Loy socially after that rejection, including between takes on film sets.

So yes, the King was a womanizer—complete with a secret baby born out of wedlock to co-star Loretta Young—in a sham marriage at the beginning of his reign. But things began changing when he finally ran into Lombard again, and at last he found his matching monarch.

It was at the White Ball in 1936 that the pair’s paths crossed a second time. By now, Clark was fully estranged from Ria, and the two lived in separate houses. Lombard, meanwhile, had risen to her own stardom by bringing her transgressive life-of-the-party persona to recent screwball comedies directed by Howard Hawks and Ernst Lubitsch. Vivacious, whip smart, and an eventual inspiration for Marion Ravenwood in Raiders of the Lost Ark, Lombard was a hard-drinking and giddy star with her own orbit.

According to Clark Gable: A Biography by Warren G. Harris, when Gable saw Lombard on the dance floor, he went up and said, “I go for you, Ma.” After a moment’s confusion, Lombard realized he was quoting their characters’ nicknames for each other in No Man of Her Own from four years earlier. She responded, “I go for you too, Pa.”

For the rest of their lives, they’d always refer to each other as “Ma” and “Pa.”

Clark Gable and Carole Lombard play with horses at the Encino ranch in 1939.

The Love of His Life

That first night on the dance floor actually ended in the pair’s first of many fights. But in a trick that would come to define the pattern of their relationship, Gable woke up the next morning in his hotel room with two doves sitting on his chest. They’d been secreted there with a note on one’s leg: “How about it? Carole.”

Unlike Gable’s other romantic entanglements, Lombard always controlled the tone and tempo of their courtship while Gable offered Lombard an escape from the glamour goddess, society girl image she’d molded herself to in Hollywood. She was an athlete growing up and, alongside Pa, she picked up outdoor-living again.

Clark taught Carole rifling, skeet-shooting, and camping. In ’38, she joined what had up to that point been Gable’s all-male hunting club with fellow actors and Hollywood talent. When the other men complained about a woman being present and sharing their bathroom, she brought along her own trailer with a private bathroom—taunting Clark and the others by then keeping him out. She crawled in the mud next to the dudes, and would soon be on all of the Gables’ hunting trips.

The pair eloped in ’39 after three years of courtship. This occurred in large part because Photoplay magazine revealed the two were living in sin (Gable was still married and too chintzy to get a divorce). Shortly after the embarrassment, however, Gable paid off his second wife and Lombard became the third Mrs. Gable.

“I just think of that husband of mine all the time,” Lombard once said with her usual candor. “I’m really stuck on the bastard. And it isn’t all that great lover crap, because if you want to know the truth, I’ve had better. No, I’m nuts about him and not just about his nuts.”

When the two moved into their Encino ranch, Gable made his gun collection the centerpiece when you walked in the front door, and Lombard began raising chickens and cattle. It was about as far from Beverly Hills as you could get, or as Lombard enthused, “The best little shit house in the San Fernando Valley.”

It was here that Lombard planned to soon retire, beginning with a one-year sabbatical in an effort to have children. Yet after a year of trying, they only had two miscarriages to show for it. They agreed to keep trying, but they’d soon run out of chances.

Clark Gable and wife Carole Lombard circa 1940.

The Loss of His Life

When the bombs fell in Pearl Harbor, it was Carole who urged Clark to telegraph Roosevelt as soon as possible. She was also in the White House for the president’s fireside chat in 1940. And unlike Gable, she was furious when the president responded, “You are needed where you are.”

With the war finally here, Lombard urged Gable to join the Army in December 1941 while she hoped to join the Red Cross. For Christmas, instead of her usual lavish presents she sent all her friends engravings announcing she’d made a donation to the Red Cross in their name. And when she got wind of MGM publicity chief Howard Strickling trying to position Gable for a safe desk job in Washington D.C. for the course of the war, she told both men, “The last thing I want for Pappy is one of those phony commissions!”

Gable preferred helping the war where FDR told him he should—from the comfort of Hollywood. On Dec. 22, 1941, he presided over the first meeting of the Screen Actors Division of the Hollywood Victory Committee as its newly appointed chairman. The committee functioned as a way for Hollywood stars and leaders to organize all activities in support of the war effort. His wife was the first at the meeting to pledge her cooperation in donations, bond rallies, and touring the troops.

When a request came from the Treasury Department for the Victory Committee to launch Indiana’s participation in the national campaign of selling war bonds on Jan. 15, 1942, Gable recognized his Indiana-born wife as the perfect talent to send along. Carole was thrilled to go, although apprehensive about leaving Clark behind.

Gable couldn’t join his wife on her journey by train because he was about to start work on Somewhere I’ll Find You: his second film with Lana Turner. Up until then, Carole had been very open-minded about Gable’s continued infidelities and little affairs, even after they were married. She turned a blind eye to more than one rumor of him sleeping with a co-star here, or a starstruck journalist there, because she assumed you had to let Clark Gable be Clark Gable. But she drew the line over rumors about Clark and Lana, the latter of whom was infamously dubbed the “Sweater Girl” when she was discovered at a soda fountain at age 16. Blonde and buxom, Turner was 20-years-old when she first worked with the 40-year-old Gable. These stories did get to Lombard.

The evening before she left for Indiana, the couple had a huge blowout during which Clark failed to convince his wife he never slept with Lana Turner. The last night Gable and Lombard were under the same roof, they slept in different beds. The next morning, he did not see his wife off to the train station.

As with many of their fights, things cooled almost immediately. Before she left, Lombard still delivered a pack of handwritten love letters to her live-in secretary Jean Garceau to deliver to Clark, one at a time, everyday she was away. She also had the prank she planned before their fight still be delivered, so when Gable returned home from work that night he found a naked blonde dummy in his bed with a note. “So you won’t be lonely.” Gable reportedly laughed until he had tears in his eyes.

According to Garceau when the two talked by phone the next night, they sounded like “lovebirds” again. And according to the You Must Remember This podcast, Gable had Carole’s hotel room in Indianapolis be covered in red roses when she got in. But before even then, Lombard’s train stopped in Salt Lake City where she saw the troops marching and immediately telegraphed her husband, “HEY PAPPY, YOU’D BETTER GET INTO THIS MAN’S ARMY.”

On Jan. 15, Lombard intended to raise $500,000 in war bonds. Instead, she raised over $2 million. Afterward, she was so eager to get home to Gable following their fight that she decided she’d fly back to California instead of returning by train. This was expressly forbidden by the Treasury Department. Commercial travel was still relatively dicey, and they feared she’d be a target for Nazi saboteurs. Additionally, she was traveling with her mother Elizabeth Peters, a superstitious woman who’d never flown and was deathly afraid to start now. She was also there with Otto Winkler, Gable’s publicist and buddy who was best man at their wedding.

The morning their flight was to leave Indianapolis, Otto got Carole to at least agree to a coin toss. Heads they fly, tails they take the train. Carole won. From Indianapolis, they would make multiple stops, including Wichita, Albuquerque, and Las Vegas. TWA Flight Number 3 never reached Burbank.

That night Gable arranged a surprise party to welcome the three heroes back—as well as a surprise male dummy with an erection waiting for Carole upstairs. He was reportedly giddy waiting for the phone call from limo driver Larry Barbier, who was supposed to report when they landed. Instead, Clark got a call from MGM fixer Eddie Mannix.

“Can I get back to you?” Gable asked. “I’m expecting word on Ma’s arrival any minute.”

Mannix cut him off. “King, that’s why I’m calling. Larry Barbier just phoned from the airport. Carole’s plane went down just a few minutes after it left Las Vegas.” She was gone.

Clark Gable stands next to co-pilot Lt. Col. Robert W Burns beneath B-17 “The Duchess” after bombing raid in September 1943.

Clark Gable Goes to War

The fallout from the literal wreckage of Lombard’s flight was national news. A bewildered Gable joined Mannix and other MGM brass for their own chartered flight to Vegas. He could see the burning debris that Lombard’s flight smeared across Table Rock Mountain from the air. Locals in the city described it as “apocalyptic” and like an “inferno.”

Mannix refused to let Gable go on the rescue party climbing the mountain—convincing him Carole, Otto, and Bettie might have survived and were now walking to the city. So the star stayed behind and drank. The next morning, he received a cable from Mannix. “NO SURVIVORS. ALL KILLED INSTANTLY.”

In truth, the bodies of Lombard and everyone else on board had been more or less cremated by the fire after impact. And while Mannix couldn’t be certain, he believed he found what was left of Carole: a decapitated, charred body with a few blonde strands of hair and the remnants of a ruby and diamond pin Gable had given his wife the year before. He never told Clark about what he saw, but brought back the hairs and piece of ruby.

The next day, FDR sent Gable private condolences and publicly awarded Lombard a medal as “the first woman to be killed in action in the defense of her country in its war against the Axis powers.”

The official and (likely) reason for that flight’s crash is it was overloaded with servicemen and movie star luggage, and the pilot failed to see the mountain in front of him, on which all lights had been turned off to preserve wartime power. Although, according to Orson Welles (as per You Must Remember This), Hollywood and government insiders all knew Nazi saboteurs did in fact bring down the plane, and Roosevelt covered it up to prevent a nationwide panic.

In the months that followed, Gable grew quiet and despondent, losing 20 pounds despite drinking untold amounts of Scotch every day. He dined alone for all meals and began wearing a locket with Carole’s hair and ruby remnants within. According to household staff, he rarely slept and stayed up all hours of the night watching 16mm prints of Lombard’s old movies he had sent over (she’d given him the projector as a Christmas present). Now he had time for no woman except the one he lost.

When he discovered MGM was still trying to keep him from being drafted—with the age range now being raised to 45—Gable grew furious. A scriptwriter pal put him in touch with Col. Luke Smith of the Army Air Corps, who told Gable he should consider applying for training as an aerial gunner since it’s one of those jobs no one seems interested in.

“Everybody wants to be a pilot,” Smith told Gable. “Your becoming a gunner would help to glorify the plane crews and the grease monkeys.” Gable made up his mind to enlist in spite of the wrath of MGM head Louis B. Mayer. He also defied the constraints of his age of 41 by passing the physical—save for the need of getting triplicates of his new dentures (Gable had false teeth his whole career).

On Aug. 12, 1942, Gable enlisted into the Army air force. Right beforehand he told Jill Winkler, Otto’s widow, “I’m going in, and I don’t expect to come back, and I don’t really give a hoot whether I do or not.”

Capt. Gable posing for the press with a gunner’s weapon in June 1943.

The Aerial Gunner with a Death Wish

There is still much speculation over whether Gable actually wanted to die in World War II. His superiors eventually reached that conclusion based on his cavalier attitude, and he at least seemed ambivalent about the whole affair. However, it is interesting he joined the air force considering that, after Lombard’s death, he developed a fear of flying for the rest of his life. Following the war, he would always prefer to make his transatlantic crossings by ocean liners instead of planes.

But during the war? Frankly, he didn’t seem to give a damn one way or the other.

Gable’s biggest fear during the whole conflict was his struggle to pass officer’s training in a 90-day course stateside. A high school dropout, Gable was challenged by the academic course work, which he ultimately got around by treating each textbook like a script he needed to memorize.

Once he was an officer (and allowed to grow back his trademark mustache), he seemed in relatively good spirits for the first time in months. Before going overseas, he told Garceau, “I have everything in the world anyone could want, but for one thing. All I really need and want is Ma.”

In April 1943, Gable was shipped off to join the 351st Heavy Bombardment Group in Peterborough, England, about 80 miles north of London. Gable also received an automatic promotion to the rank of captain, although this had as much to do with the heavy losses of Allied officers as it did with Gable’s leadership.

In truth, Gable likely enjoyed playing the part of officer more than he entirely became it. The military loved letting him pose for the press as a gunner with a bombardier’s bullets wrapped around his neck, but that wasn’t his actual job. While Gable did on at least two occasions take on the role of aerial gunner in combat, his official role was as an observational gunner—he was there to pick up the weapons in the side or rear of a B-17 if the gunner operating it was injured or killed (which did happen).

Otherwise, Gable was there because the Army wanted him to film footage they could use as propaganda, glorifying the role of gunners. While in officer’s school, the Army reunited Gable with cinematographer Andy McIntyre, who would become his sidekick and cameraman in the air. And after his graduation, Gable arranged the transfer of his scriptwriting buddy John Lee Mahin, then a lieutenant serving as an instructor in Combat Intelligence, to join them. In all, Gable and McIntyre built a film crew of six men to film the other fliers on B-17 missions. They were called “the Little Hollywood Group.”

More than twice the age of many of the pilots and gunners he flew with, Gable found himself facing heavy skepticism in his early training.

“None of the kids believed he was going to do anything at all,” Mahin recalled in Warren’s Clark Gable biography. “They never thought he was going to expose himself to any kind of danger. They said it was all a lot of bullshit. It really killed Clark that the kids shunned him.”

The brass, however, loved Gable at first. Many of his superiors invited him nearly every night to dinner, an annoyance he’d soon relegate to one evening a week. And while he welcomed the press to photograph him at the planes, he also refused the special treatment of having private quarters set up, which earned him more respect from the young fliers.

He’d also soon prove himself as a member of Col. William Hatcher’s Chickens (a nickname for his bombing group) when he went up in the air on May 4, 1943. Hatcher was onboard the same B-17 that day as group commander and co-pilot; the 351st were tasked with taking out several factories in Nazi-occupied Antwerp, Belgium.

During Gable’s first combat mission, flak from ground defenses took out one of the plane’s four engines and its stabilizer. More unnervingly, after delivering the plane’s payload, a German’s 20mm shell pierced the center of the plane, with the corner of the shell passing through the heel of Gable’s boot—lifting it clean off—and then exiting the aircraft inches above Gable’s head.

On another mission, Gable took over for gunners who were wounded or killed (there was at least one of each that day). Fifteen holes were found in the fuselage. For Gable, such horrors were also a vindication, as he fully won the respect of the kids around him.

“They adored him,” Mahin recalled. “They couldn’t stay away from him. And he was proud that they accepted him.”

Portrait of Capt. Gable after arriving in England in 1943 as part of the the 351st Bombardment Group.

Hitler’s Prize

At Peterborough, Gable grew increasingly chummy with the other fliers serving. He bought a used motorcycle and would make small talk on trips around the base. And on more than a few weekends, he would head to London to screen at MGM offices some of the footage he shot in the air. He also would meet with his pre-war Hollywood chum, David Niven, who was serving as an instructor for British Commandos and had recently married and had a son.

“From then on our cottage became Clark’s refuge from military life,” Niven recalled. “With Carole’s death, he had been dealt the cruelest of blows, but on the surface at least, he was making the best of it. In his own deep misery, he found it possible to rejoice over the great happiness that had come my way, and he became devoted to my little family.”

Niven added, “Clark’s personal wounds seemed to be healing, but Carole was never far from him, and the very happiness of our little group would sometimes overwhelm him. [My wife] found him one evening on an upturned wheelbarrow in the garden, his head in his hands, weeping uncontrollably.”

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Still, Gable seemed to be settling into a new happy rhythm of camaraderie on the base, frequent trips to London, and even playing the field. He renewed an affair with a pre-Lombard paramour in London, the English (and now married with children) Elizabeth Allan. Nonetheless, he may have been enjoying himself too much for his superiors’ liking.

Robert Matzen, author of Mission: Jimmy Stewart and the Fight for Europe and Fireball: Carole Lombard and the Mystery of Flight 3, told me he believed Gable had a death wish.

“Carole Lombard, his wife, wanted him to go fight and she’s killed,” Matzen said. “So he then decides, ‘Alright, I’ll go fight and hopefully I’ll be killed too.’ That’s why he wanted to be in the Eighth Air Force, because he wanted to die in a plane crash.” Also, unlike Stewart, Matzen stressed, Gable never fully adapted to military culture.

Said Matzen, “Gable was much more interested in being Clark Gable in England than Jim Stewart was interested in being Jimmy Stewart in England.” This weighed on the mind of Col. Hatcher, as did the growing understanding that every B-17 Gable was on became a prize for Nazi Germany.

The day the 351st arrived in England, Nazi radio propagandist William Joyce, aka “Lord Haw Haw,” broadcast from Berlin the following: “Welcome to England, Hatcher’s Chickens. Among whom is famous American cinema star, Clark Gable. We’ll be seeing you soon in Germany, Clark. You will be welcome there too.”

Adolf Hitler apparently adored Clark Gable, considering him his favorite American actor. A movie nut with a love for British and Hollywood cinema, Hitler even allegedly smuggled a film print of Gone with the Wind before it opened in the UK. Hitler therefore marked Gable as one of the most prized “war criminals” in the Allied Forces, offering a handsome reward to any German soldiers who can bring Gable to him alive.

The actor was terrified of being paraded through Berlin like King Kong and was only half-joking when he told a friend, “If Hitler catches me, the sonofabitch will put me in a cage like a gorilla and send me on a tour of Germany. If a plane that I’m in ever gets hit, I’m not bailing out.”

While his superiors might’ve appreciated the sentiment, they feared the humiliating spectacle of one of their gunners becoming a Nazi political tool—or the actor putting a bigger target on their bombing group. Additionally, Gable didn’t follow protocol as intended, at one point threatening a military doctor after the physician apparently said nonchalantly that Gable’s pal had hours to live while the young man was awake and listening. And, again, the opinion became that he wanted to be shot down.

So it was in October 1943, after only five combat missions, Capt. Gable was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross and the Air Medal for “exceptionally meritorious achievement while participating in five separate bomber combat missions.” Hatcher apparently pulled the strings to get Gable out.

Clark Gable in 1960 on the set of his last film, The Misfits, with Marilyn Monroe and Montgomery Clift.

The End

Even though Gable’s time in combat ended in October of ’43, he still wound up with 50,000 feet of film at his disposal. He was apparently shocked when he learned the air force really didn’t care what he did with the footage since gunner recruitment was up. So he returned to Los Angeles, having been reassigned to the city’s photographic division. Allowed to cut the film at MGM, Gable put together five short films that could be used for instruction on operating B-17s. But by the time it made its way through the Pentagon’s chain of command… the war was over. The footage mostly still lies unused in government archives.

After finishing the films, Gable had expected to be assigned to a new bombing division in the Pacific Theater. As he waited months for the orders to come in, he found out on the news about the D-Day landing in Europe on June 6, 1944. Feeling forgotten and discarded by the Air Corps, he requested to be discharged on June 12, which was his right as a volunteer over the age of 42. A captain named Ronald Reagan granted Gable his discharge after 670 days of service.

Clark eventually re-acclimated to Hollywood and restarted his career, but by 1945 his days as “the King” were waning, and he saw more flops accompany his diminishing hits. He also had many more affairs with leading ladies, extras, and socialites. But for years he refused to marry, telling friends, “It wouldn’t be fair. I have nothing left to give.”

For the rest of his life, Clark mourned Carole, including on Jan. 15, 1944 when he was on hand for the launch of the SS Carole Lombard. Gable was supposed to speak at the event. Instead, he mostly cried.

Eventually he did remarry, twice, and finally had one child who wasn’t disowned in secret. But after the star died of a heart attack at age 59 in 1960, his fifth wife, Kay Williams, honored his final wishes: Gable was interred at Glendale’s Forest Lawn Memorial Park. Next to Ma.

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thats-what-sidhe-said · 6 years

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I am having a great desire to write Narnia fic, but I am having trouble figuring out just what I want to write, so here is something from my rough draft folder. I have not decided if I want to polish it and put it up on AO3, but I do like it.

It wasn't more than a couple of months after the coronation when Edmund went for a walk up the coast from Cair Paravel and decided to explore the woods. The castle had become a bustle of activity as all sorts of people brought in furniture and hangings and stoves. Lucy found a treasure room under the castle and added a few old candlesticks to the collection. Horses had moved into the stable and the kennel was being renovated under the direction of one large, greying wolfhound. Mrs. Beaver’s sister had taken a position as the castle's housekeeper and cooked meals for them daily while a colony of rats did the washing and kept the castle free of dust.

Edmund was quite grateful, of course, but it did feel like he wasn't needed at all. A small band of bandits had been sighted up the coast, but Peter took a couple of Men and a few of the big Cats and ran them off without even asking if Edmund wanted to go.

So he went exploring. The woods were lovely and thick and cool. He climbed a tree, but it was squat and thick and didn't offer much of a challenge, though he took note of it as a possible napping spot. He spotted a small cliff, maybe thirty feet up, with thick jutting rocks that would make good foot and handholds. He went up it quickly, but as he pulled himself over the top, a low, gravely voice said, "Hello, boy king."

Edmund squawked and slipped backwards and grabbed the edge of the cliff just in time. The creature leaned over Edmund as the boy looked up. The sun shone behind it, but there was no mistaking the outline of a wolf's head. The creature chuckled. "I mean you no harm," the wolf said. He took several steps back to give Edmund room to climb onto the grass above.

Edmund stood up and rubbed his hands against his pants to get the dirt off them. "Hello," he said cautiously. The wolf was as tall as he was. His coat was grey and black and his eyes dark.

"Ah, I had been meaning to meet you, young King Edmund, and here you are, saving me the trouble," it said. "I am Norgrim."

"It's good to meet you, Norgrim," Edmund said politely. "What did you wish to speak to me about?" He straightened his back and tried to look royal, wondering if it would be better to brush the dirt off his tunic or leave it and hope Norgrim didn't notice it. Were kings expected to be clean after climbing?

"Let us walk," Norgrim said. "You are close to the cliff and I fear you may take a tumble." He stepped to the side and made room for Edmund to join him along the path into the woods. He walked slowly along the path. "This is a tumultuous time in our kingdom," he said. "There are many rapid changes and many people returning from abroad, where they have lived in exile while the White Witch reigned."

"Yes," Edmund said cautiously.

"We know of times like these, in my pack," Norgrim said. "Stories have been told of kingdoms rising from the ashes of cruelty, breaking free of old bonds."

"Oh?" Edmund said. "I should like to hear these stories."

"You may well," Norgrim said. "And I shall tell you the others - of kingdoms that try to rise from the ashes and stir up old fires instead."

"And which do you think we are?" Edmund asked.

Norgrim chuckled. "It is too soon to tell. But I should like it to be the former and I should like to be a part of it."

"And what are your plans for Narnia?" Edmund said warily.

Now Norgrim laughed outright. "Oh, do not worry, young King. I do not want to take your throne. I would like to ensure you keep it."

"How?" Edmund asked.

"The Witch had many spies amongst your people. Some have joined you freely. Others, I fear, may be serving another master."

"Who?

"Not everyone suffered under the Witch, you know," Norgrim said. "Some profited greatly. It is possible they may try to rise against you, or that they may try to take revenge for what you have done. In either case, you are in danger."

"But you can help," Edmund said, still suspicious.

"There was a great Wolf that worked for the Witch," Norgrim said. "The head of her secret police. Do you know his name?"

"Maugrim," Edmund said, and his voice was nearly a growl himself.

"Yes," Norgrim said. "He was my brother."

Edmund drew in a sharp breath.

"There was no love lost between us," Norgrim said. "He brought shame upon our family. But I know who he had dealings with. I know the people who spied for her, hunted for her, killed for her. I can find them for you. I would like to repair what damage can be undone, if you will permit it."

"I'd have to talk to my - I mean, I'd have to talk to the Council," Edmund said.

"Of course," Norgrim said. "Shall I return with you?"

Edmund wasn't certain how this was supposed to be done, but they did have space for Norgrim to stay, if the Council (himself, his brother and his sisters) didn't have time to meet just yet. "I don't see why not."

They arrived at the castle a little before suppertime. Someone must have spotted them from a window, since Peter waited in front of the steps, sword belt strapped on. "Edmund," Peter said. "Who is your guest?"

"This is Norgrim," Edmund said. "Norgrim, this is -"

"Sir Peter Wolf's-Bane," Norgrim said, in his low, gravely voice, and it was nearly a snarl.

"Yes," Peter said calmly. "Are you here on business?"

Edmund's eyes darted between Peter and Norgrim. "Yes," he said quickly. "He has a proposal for us. Can the Council meet?"

"Tomorrow morning," Peter said. "Susan won't be back until late. Did you need a place to stay for the night?" he asked Norgrim.

"I believe I can find lodgings," Norgrim said. He yawned hugely, showing all his teeth. "I will see you on the morrow." He walked off and Peter and Edmund went inside the castle.

"By the Lion, where did you find that one?" Peter asked.

"In the woods," Edmund said. "Rather, he found me."

"Hm," Peter said.

"Hm what?" Edmund asked.

"Nothing," Peter said. "What did he want?"

"I'd rather tell you all at once," Edmund said. "Come on, let's have supper."

---

They assembled in the morning in the Council room, which just had a table and four chairs at the moment. They didn't use it often, and rarely with visitors, so it was low on the list for decorating.

Peter, Susan and Lucy took their seats at the table. Edmund fetched Norgrim and brought him to the Council room. (Susan made a note about getting a baliff for that.) The cold stone walls and stone floors gave the room a prison-like feel.

"The Council recognizes King Edmund," Susan said.

"Queen Lucy, Queen Susan and High King Peter. This is Norgrim of the Southwest Pack here to discuss a matter of national safety." And so Edmund explained it to his siblings as Norgrim had explained it to him. He called on Norgrim to clarify a few points as he talked. The gist of it was this: that the White Witch had many spies planted in Narnia; that these spies and others loyal to the Witch might attempt to stir a rebellion or offer revenge; that a team was needed to prevent this from happening.

"There are many who lost family in the war," Norgrim said. "Some feel that they have been wronged."

"Your brother was Maugrim," Peter said. Edmund looked at him in surprise. He'd forgotten to warn Peter about that.

"Yes, Sir Peter," Norgrim said, in a quiet, deep voice. "Do you know what it's like to lose a brother?" His head swiveled toward Edmund and he snarled most horribly. Edmund jumped back and Peter was on his feet in a second, sword drawn. Norgrim turned his head away from Edmund and laughed. "Oh, do not worry, young king," he said to Edmund. "My brother was a foul beast and his slaying was a blessing upon my pack."

"You're welcome," Peter said wryly. He sheathed his sword, but kept his hand on the hilt.

"But you can understand, I think, how a many could be driven to violence at the loss of a loved one," Norgrim said.

Peter nodded slowly. Lucy frowned. Susan kept her face neutral and continued to take notes. "Thank you," Peter said. "We will let you know of our decision." This was a dismissal, so Edmund escorted Norgrim back to the hall and rang a bell so Auntie Beaver could take him downstairs.

"I think that went well," Edmund said, feeling very awkward.

"Perhaps," Norgrim. "I thank you for your part, in any case."

Edmund returned to the Council room and took his seat. "Shall we discuss it?" he asked, lining up possible arguments in his head.

Peter shook his head. "No."

Edmund stared. "What, you want to go right to the vote?"

"No," Peter said. "There is no vote. I will not allow this to happen."

"We have to vote," Edmund said. "We agreed we'd decide things as a Council."

"Most things," Peter agreed. "You may take a vote, if you'd like. If you vote yes, I will override it."

"You can't do that," Edmund said, looking at Lucy and Susan.

"He can," Susan said. "It's in the laws we agreed to. The High King has final call over all decisions."

Edmund turned back to Peter. "I can't believe you," he said with disgust. "I thought things were going to be different. I thought we were going to trust each other."

"I do trust you, Ed," Peter said. "I just don't think you've thought this through."

Edmund shrugged. "What's to think about? It's just police."

"No, it's not," Peter said urgently. "You're talking about going after people who haven't committed any crimes. That's not police, that's Gestapo."

Edmund stared at him. "Gestapo?"

"The secret police in Germany," Susan put in.

"I know, but what's Germany to do with anything? We're in Narnia. We left the war behind. Germany might as well not exist from here," Edmund said.

"Well, I remember Germany and we're not going to be that. No police unless a crime's been committed," Peter said.

"They have committed crimes!" Edmund protested. "They worked with the Witch!"

"Mr. Tumnus worked with the Witch," Lucy said.

"We wouldn't prosecute him, of course," Edmund said.

"Do we pick and choose who the law applies to, now?" Peter asked sternly. "Shall those who find favor with us be pardoned and those who oppose us imprisoned?"

"Well, no," Edmund said. "I guess we'd have to apply it to everyone."

"Shall I sign a law, then, saying that anyone who ever worked for the White Witch shall be punished? What do you think, Ed? Imprisonment? Whipping? Banishment? Which would you chose?" Peter demanded. Edmund looked pale.

"Stop it, Peter," Lucy cried out.

"'Do you know what it's like to lose a brother?'," Susan said, almost too quiet to hear, but in the empty room, the words echoed.

Edmund stood up, but Peter grabbed his hand. "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you, Ed," Peter said. "I swear. But we can't do this. You understand, don't you?"

Edmund nodded. "I understand," he said wearily.

They called Norgrim back up to the Council room. All four of them stood up. "I'm sorry to say that we can not accept your petition at this time," Peter said.

"I see," Norgrim said. "Well. I thank you, Queen Susan, Queen Lucy, Sir Peter Wolf's-bane." His eyes landed on Edmund. "And the Traitor King."

"You will speak to my brother with respect or I will take your tongue," Peter said, his voice even and level even as he put his hand on the hilt of his sword.

Norgrim eyed him. "I am not so easy to kill as my brother." He grinned, showing fangs as long as Edmund's hands. "Someday you will find that out. But not today, I think." He nodded his head at Edmund. "King Edmund," he said. 'We will meet again." And he left the Council chambers.

#narnia #edmund pevensie #peter pevensie #narnia fic #golden age

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deadcactuswalking · 3 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 27/03/2021 (Justin Bieber’s ‘Justice’, Griff, Lil Tjay/Polo G/Fivio Foreign)

You might think that since I can take time out of my schedule to ramble about charts every week, that I have a lot of time on my hands and this may or may not be true but even I do not have enough time or energy to listen to – or even care about – new releases from both Justin Bieber and Lana Del Rey. So, of course, they make the most impact on the chart this week, even if said impact is still pretty muted. Our #1 is, for a second week, “Wellerman” by Nathan Evans and remixed by 220 KID and Billen Ted, and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

It may not make any sense to you that “Anyone” by Justin Bieber has dropped out of the UK Top 75 – which I cover – on the week of the album’s release, but UK chart rules stipulate that only the three best-performing songs from an artist can chart at any time, which is pretty stupid all things considered but I’m not complaining since it gives me less of a workload... or more, I don’t know. With more album tracks from Justin, I’m sure they would cancel at least some of the other, lower new entries out. This isn’t the Hot 100, however, this is the UK Singles Chart, and hence we follow their rules, which means that we also have the notable drop-outs of “Bluuwuu” by Digga D, “Regardless” by RAYE and Rudimental, “Love Not War (The Tampa Beat)” by Jason Derulo and Nuka, “Afterglow” by Ed Sheeran, “Prisoner” by Miley Cyrus featuring Dua Lipa, and finally, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring Don Toliver and NAV. It seems like this week in particular is pushing out old hits to make way for the new, and that’s a great thing as far as I’m concerned.

In terms of notable fallers, there are a few as expected from having a lot of action at the top, as we have “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #20, “Bringing it Back” by Digga D and AJ Tracey at #41, “Money Talks” by Fredo and Dave at #45, “Best Friend” by Saweetie featuring Doja Cat at #46, “telepatía” by Kali Uchis at #47, “You’re Mines Still” by Yung Bleu featuring Drake on the remix at #57, “Addicted” to Jorja Smith at #61 off of the debut, “DAYWALKER!” by Machine Gun Kelly featuring CORPSE not disappearing fast enough at #63, “Anxious” by AJ Tracey at #65, “34+35” by Ariana Grande at #71, “Good Days” by SZA at #72, “Heat” by Paul Woodford and Digga D at #74 and finally, “Toxic” by Digga D at #75. That’s before we take into account our album impacts from the last few weeks, as well, as for Central Cee, “Commitment Issues” is at #11, “6 for 6” is at #26 and “Day in the Life” is at #56. As for Drake, “What’s Next” is at #32, “Lemon Pepper Freestyle” featuring Rick Ross is at #33 and “Wants and Needs” featuring Lil Baby is at #44.

So, what’s filling in the cracks? Well, our one returning entry is the title track, “Chemtrails Over the Country Club”, from Lana Del Rey’s newest record back at #62. “Tulsa Jesus Freak” did actually chart below the top 75, so this and the debut for “White Dress” later on is all we’ll see from Lana this week. In terms of our notable gains, well, there’s not much to speak of other than the surge for Majestic’s remix of “Rasputin” by Boney M. up to #49 off of the debut, other than “Didn’t Know” by Tom Zanetti at #48, “Medicine” by James Arthur at #43, “Ferrari Horse” by D-Block Europe and RAYE at #30 and the expected album boost for “Hold On” by Justin Bieber up to #10. With all that said, we won’t be hearing from Justin for a while as we get onto our new arrivals for this week, so let’s start from the bottom.

NEW ARRIVALS

#68 – “Track Star” – Mooski

Produced by Woodpecker

Okay, so this is a song from last year from complete nobody rapper Mooski that got big in the US on TikTok a couple months ago so, no surprise, we get it sometime later. Well, at least this Mooski guy seems to at least want to tell a story here, as the song doesn’t stray far away from the topic of a woman with commitment issues who doesn’t stay with him when times get hard. For what it’s worth, content-wise, at least it’s a narrative, even if lyrics like, “Leave a trail of heartbreak and heartache like, it’s cool” sound closer to emo-rap whining than he probably intended. Not that it needed a narrative, because barely any songs can actually affectively tell them, but there’s got to be sometimes to distract from this squeaky, strained vocal loop and all of the janky melodies surrounding it, not to mention the downright awful 808s and percussion that reminds me more of the Afroswing we got on the charts back in 2018 than any trap-rap. Mooski himself is a complete non-presence, especially when he starts stuttering on the bridge, to the point where I can’t distinguish whether it’s totally embarrassing or subtly endearing. Either way, I can’t see myself listening to this like... ever outside of the context of this episode, especially considering how undeservedly long it is for a song like this.

#66 – “Beautiful Mistakes” – Maroon 5 featuring Megan Thee Stallion

Produced by Andrew Goldstein and blackbear

Adam Levine recently said that he misses the “bands” in pop music – you know, people who play all of their instruments and stuff like that. Then he continued to release a song under the name of his band where he swaps out more than half of his band with blackbear and Megan Thee Stallion. Of course. Well, you can tell it’s written by blackbear since Adam Levine directly imitates his staccato, monotonous flow in the first verse and the generally very awkward writing throughout... which is fine, I guess, because at least Levine isn’t stretching himself out into his falsetto much here, and Megan on auto-pilot can still carry her verse off of charisma alone, and her singing in the bridge sounds better than it ever has, so I’m not going to complain about her part here. The main issue in this song, I feel, is just lack of detail. The song’s about the lengths Adam and Megan would go for their significant others but I feel like only Megan attempts to describe what’s going on in these relationships as Adam plays word association with the concept. Adam, you can time-travel back to the Kara’s Flowers era any time now. Pop-punk is making a comeback, and I know you’d hate to not be a part of that, especially if you’re longing for new bands in pop music.

#59 – “Know You” – wewaintwraiths

Produced by Oath

I mean, I suppose I’ve heard worse names than “wewantwraiths” although after he buys a new car with the check his label gives him for the chart success of this song, he might want to change it. Maybe “nowwegotawraith”. That’s besides the point, though, as just as you’d expect, we have another week and hence another UK drill track that leaves little to no impact. This guy actually kind of makes himself out like a British Mooski, with his longing, Auto-Tuned flow that I don’t think he even tried to make sound good, especially considering how janky and unstructured the whole thing is. This drill beat is pretty worthless too, as whilst I don’t mind the mesh of vocal samples and the 808 slides, I cannot stand how this is mixed so that the hi-hats are louder than Mr. Wraiths himself. I don’t mind the content, to be honest, as it depicts him finding a girl and the eventual breakup in a lot of detail. By the end, he’s harmonising with the background vocals and there are a couple of cool synth riffs, but it’s way too little, too late to start caring about detail, especially if for the majority of the song, the percussion and vocals sound this bad.

#58 – “Dimension” – JAE5 featuring Skepta and Rema

Produced by JAE5

If you know JAE5, you probably know him for his production as for years, he has been blending genres for some of the most interesting and best British rap, most notably in how he fuses drill, R&B and Afrobeats as J Hus’ primary beat-maker. He also produced songs for Dave, Shakka and Burna Boy, which got him a Grammy win, as well as “Options” by NSG, one of the biggest ever British rap songs and still one of the most infectious. Now he’s embarking on a solo career less like a DJ Khaled and more like a Metro Boomin, bringing along legendary British rapper Skepta along for the ride, as well as an appearance from Nigerian singer Rema, whose wonderful nasal tone really stands out alongside all of the synth ambiance in this production, as well as the stuttering hi-hats and those gorgeous falsetto vocal samples. Skepta sounds pretty checked-out over a beat probably too smooth for him, which shifts over to some staccato piano, as well as some intricacies in this production that sound great, especially the jazzier touches that accentuate the already great groove with some Latin-flavoured guitar and strings. Oh, yeah and the subtle brass on Rema’s verse is excellent, even if Rema isn’t saying much of anything – in fact, content-wise is probably the only place where this song kind of flounders, as Skeppy zig-zags from socially conscious lyrics about Pan-Africanism and the plight that many Africans on and outside of the continent in day to day life, to “Girls sellin’ the coochie for Gucci”. Ah, well, ultimately, the song sounds incredible and I really should check out more of Rema’s stuff if it’s at this same level of detail. I’m pretty excited for that JAE5 album now, whenever that’s coming.

#51 – “White Dress” – Lana Del Rey

Produced by Lana Del Rey and Jack Antonoff

And from Afropop to the whitest singer currently charting this side of Taylor Swift, here’s what I suppose is the next single push from that Lana Del Rey that I practically avoided entirely. I understand that a lot of people are loving this but frankly, I’ve never been a fan so I’ve given up trying. If Norman Fricking Rockwell! couldn’t convert me, I don’t think her subsequent releases will, in fact, I can place a bet that listening to this whole album will make her music sour on me even more. Well, this song is about... being disillusioned with the music industry and public fame. I see. The implications that come with that aside, I have no reason to care about Lana once again breathily cooing over an ambiance that refuses to effectively create an atmosphere that really clicks with the nostalgia tone Lana’s lyrics take here, instead just meandering through this snooze of piano-based blend, only elevating itself through clashing percussion that ends up fading itself out of view way too quickly. Also, shouting out Kings of Leon feels both completely in character and unintentionally hilarious. At least as far as I’m aware, neither they nor the White Stripes, also name-dropped in the song, are blatantly racist on social media... I hope, at least.

#40 – “Headshot” – Lil Tjay, Polo G and Fivio Foreign

Produced by Bordeaux, Non Native, TnTXD, Tahj Money, Dmac and 101 Slide

So this really needs six producers, huh? For a song that’s barely two minutes? Okay, well, after the success of “Calling My Phone”, it only makes sense that Lil Tjay will follow up an R&B crooner with a harder rap cut, and here it is, and it kicks a lot of ass – or at least as much ass that can be kicked with the nasal, unconvincing tones all of these guys have. The main loop of the intimidating strings here, accentuated by that staccato piano melody, is the perfect backing for a hard-hitting trap beat that I almost wish had some more bombast outside of its badly-mastered 808 bass. That said, Polo G kills it regardless, with some of the most energy he’s ever given and the most lyrical detail out of any of the guys on the song, as his fast-paced flow is genuinely menacing... and now I understand why the song needs six producers, because as smoothly as possible, that cacophonous Pop Smoke-esque gunshot percussion comes in and it soon becomes an intense New York drill track more befitting for Fivio Foreign’s verse, who may not have any of the lyrical dexterity but he fills in the blanks with his ad-libs and still carrying the drill beat pretty well, before Lil Tjay comes in as intense as he ever has on a beat that reverts to the trap knock again, very smoothly. I do find it pretty odd that of all people here, Fivio has the longest verse, but I guess his verse is more of a bridge to act as a gap between two overwhelmingly gun-fire verses, both of which have content that can pretty much be summed up as gunplay and flexing, but with some of the bluntest, most deathly lyrics I’ve heard in rap, especially when Lil Tjay just pretty explicitly says he kills anyone he even dares to disrespect them. I’m now thinking I should delete the episode where I gave “Calling My Phone” Worst of the Week. Speaking of that song, this song is so much better it’s almost confusing. Maybe this high-energy gangsta-rap stuff is somehow a more convincing lane for an auto-crooner like Lil Tjay than alternative R&B.

#39 – “Black Hole” – Griff

Produced by LOSTBOY

Again, in stark contrast, Disney pop. Okay, maybe calling it Disney pop is misleading but the main reason Griff is succeeding now is that Disney Christmas advert, which gave her “Love is a Compass”, her first charting song – and a pretty bad one at that. This single, released this January, is a lot more upbeat than that drone of a ballad and hence fits Griff’s limited vocal capabilities a lot better, as she does a good Selena Gomez impression – almost good enough to forget that she’s now whispering over reggaeton so Griff will basically be her replacement in the UK – over some pretty indie-pop that decides to produce itself out of common sense... if that makes sense. The quirky strings and bass start the song before the percussion comes in and it makes sense as it rises pretty regularly, until this one dissonant, chamber-echo bassline comes in and morphs the entire song, only for it to disappear for the first chorus, but given how anti-climactic that first chorus is, there’s no build-up that makes that cathartic, at all... before it comes back in just to disturb the peace for the second chorus and verse. Not that the song’s mixed badly, particularly, I mean, “DAYWALKER!” had a similar discrepancy last week and did it much worse. In fact, I think this production being so awkward makes the song a lot more endearing as it just represent that “black hole” in the content that’s being left where Griff’s heart used to be – because, of course. I wish that chorus made a lot more of an impact though because as is, it feels very much lacking in stakes, both sonically and lyrically, especially since the song doesn’t really go into any detail about how she tries to fill the gap, which I think would be a lot more interesting. As is, I mean, it’s listenable but I don’t know for how long before this becomes grating. Regardless, it’s looking to become a hit so we’ll see how this goes. Maybe mindless bubblegum-indie-pop is what the nation needs right now. Who knows?

#24 – “As I Am” – Justin Bieber featuring Khalid

Produced by Skrillex, Ido Zmishiany, Josh Gudwin and The Monsters & Strangerz

Now we here. These two tracks that debuted are basically the most I’m hearing from this Justice record past the singles, so I was kind of hoping the tracks with Skrillex and Lil Uzi Vert would chart out of morbid curiosity, but it’s seemingly the more R&B-adjacent cuts that are debuting the highest, as Bieber teams up with Khalid for a piano ballad, as Bieber talk-sings over some overly processed instrumental that pretty much goes off the rails as soon as the guitars come in and suddenly, it’s not so much of a ballad as much as it is a janky EDM track. In fact, everything about this is janky, from the non-build-up that leads to a really ugly, almost future bass-like drop that’s just kind of funny in how those distorted synths career in the mix like accordions. Then Khalid comes in pretending to be British as always, and despite his worst efforts, he can’t really harmonise with someone as digitally processed as Bieber when he’s a genuinely soulful and damn good singer. At some point, Bieber just goes insane in the bridge and Khalid’s there to bring him back down to Earth, doing so by forcefully stripping the future bass away and rescuing themselves both back to the safety of a clipping piano instrumental. Yeah, this is ridiculously bad – almost in the way that it makes me want to hear the rest of the album – but I wouldn’t go as far to say it’s so bad it’s good, mostly because I’m pretty aware it’s a fluke in an album that’s otherwise pretty boring, at least going by the singles. Of course, speak of the Devil...

#3 – “Peaches” – Justin Bieber featuring Daniel Caesar and Giveon

Produced by Shndo and HARV

Finally, electroclash legend Peaches released her comeback single and it debuted at #3 on the UK Singles Chart – or, in reality, Justin Bieber’s milquetoast R&B imitation with two genuinely pretty good alternative R&B singers Justin coasts off of the skill and talent of, debuts at #3 because we’ve got nothing else to do as a country but sit, complain and stream sea shanties. I watched the video for this when it came out, again mostly out of morbid curiosity, and it’s kind of a comedic gem as Justin’s clearly the only one trying (because he doesn’t understand the concept of smooth, low-key R&B), making him feel so out of place when stuck between Caesar and Giveon. It’s like Hailey Bieber knew Justin was going to be lonely on his birthday so she paid the coolest kids in school to humour him for a couple minutes. In fact, that’s pretty much the song as they all croon pretty effortlessly over a smooth, pretty organic drum groove as well as this subtle synth blend... except Justin Bieber, of course, who tries his best to be a presence on a track where he’s literally supposed to be in the background. Thankfully, that’s not necessarily a complaint as this is Bieber’s best vocal performance in years, maybe ever, even if he’s immediately outshined by Caesar harmonising pretty excellently with his own multi-tracking, channelling the kind of neo-soul that people like Tyler, The Creator and Kali Uchis were making together half a decade ago. Giveon is here, also, but I’m not sure if he fits as well as synth-funk as he does on the moodier stuff. I know for damn sure that Sampha wouldn’t feature on a Bieber track, even if this is the most respectable Bieber’s been in forever. Admittedly, by the final chorus, it’s absolutely infectious – even if the lyrics are beyond stupid. The verses are about intimacy with their respective significant others, written in the most inoffensive, lovey-dovey way possible, but the chorus is about getting peaches from Georgia, weed from California, and bringing them alongside your wife to Canada to see the Northern Lights. Sure. If that final synth solo in the outro proves anything, it’s that this song should be great and just kind of falls flat due to lack of focus. That’s not to say the song isn’t good though, because I’ll be singing that chorus quietly to myself without realising it for the next week or so. Good job, Bieber.

Conclusion

Best of the Week is actually going to Justin Bieber for “Peaches” featuring Daniel Caesar and Giveon, if only to balance out the fact that he also gets Worst of the Week for “As I Am” featuring Khalid, what a trainwreck. Honourable Mention in that case pretty easily goes to “Headshot” by Lil Tjay, Polo G and Fivio Foreign, but even in a mixed bag week like this, Dishonourable Mention is kind of tough. There’s not a lot to outright dislike here, but I’ll give it to Mooski’s “Track Star” by default. With that said, here’s our top 10:

I can’t really make much prediction for next week other than the drowning out of all of this, although I can see “Peaches” absolutely having some legs. I can safely say Taylor Swift and Demi Lovato will end up here but I’m not as 100% on songs from 24kGoldn or Rod Wave’s albums landing. If the United Kingdom, currently collapsing under our feet, decides to make AJR’s new album chart, I say the Prime Minister gives permission for Scotland to leave while it’s still safe. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week.

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