2AM - part 5 (A Minseok Series)
Genre: Angst
Characters: Minseok X You
A/N: The soundtrack for this chapter is Jeff Buckley’s Lover You Should Have Come Over
2AM [M] - part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12
Between the three of you, Minseok’s frantic and consistently dramatic mother, his sister Minhee and yourself, you managed to drag Minseok to his room and deposit him onto his bed.
To say he was a bit inebriated was the understatement of the century. You’d known Minseok - intimately and honestly - for years, and you had never seen him in a state such as this.
He had to have been drinking all afternoon at least, and by the way you saw him drain that bottle of soju, and the fact that there was next to no liquor amongst the shattered bottle that littered the kitchen floor, telling you that he’d downed that one too, you knew he had really done a number on himself this time.
Even now as he laid, half on his bed, half hanging off and you pulled at his feet trying in vain to straighten him out and roll him onto his side so if he should happen to vomit in his sleep, you wouldn’t need to hold a press conference announcing the death of a beloved member of EXO- dead in his sleep, choked on his own vomit in a drunken stupor.
“What the hell has gotten into him?” Minhee stood at the doorway with her arms over her chest and a look of disgust on her face at the state of her big brother and you bit down on your bottom lip, shaking your head and looking down at the shockingly, still breathtaking face of Kim Minseok as he lightly snored away on his bed in his old room at his parents house.
The bedspread, with its tasteful geometric shapes in a warm shade of grey with bright yellow accents and high thread count that felt like silk against your bare skin, was familiar in a way that made your stomach dance with the warmth that spread through your abdomen up your chest, bringing a wave of nostalgia that you instantly rebuked with a discrete head shake.
You didn’t want that memory.
You definitely didn’t need it…yet the sound of broken glass rattling in the distance that pulled Minhee away, did little to shake that pesky memory from your mind and you stood like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car, staring down at the man with the pretty face and the crooked smile and the lips that tasted like heaven itself as your mind wandered into the treacherous waters of your first and only love.
It was only fitting that your first time should have been here, in this very room…on this very bed and on this exact bedspread. How could so little have changed about this room?
Your fingertips grazed along the grey diamonds with yellow stripes as your mind wandered and Minseok stirred on the bed, letting out a low moan that sounded husky and throaty…and familiar. A sound that echoed in your memory as the scene played out against your will.
He’d been watching you all evening, giving you a small smile each time you caught him before he looked away with a pinkness in his cheeks that made your heart flip. The family dinner had been cut short when Minhee had come down with a sudden stomach bug that made her too sick for company and Mrs. Kim had taken her into the hospital when she was in danger of dehydration from the vomiting.
It wasn’t every day that Minseok was home though and the pull to him had been strong lately. No matter how obvious it became that there was really no reason for you to hang around that night, with your best friend gone and his mom nowhere to be found. There was really no one in the house to entertain you. Yet, every muscle in your body made you want to linger. Even now as you sat on the sofa flipping through channels on the tv, you could feel a nagging pull that once again made your eyes turn toward the kitchen.
He cleared his throat and quickly looked down at the sandwich he had been making, resuming the speed at which he spread condiments, that had suspiciously slowed down to a crawl while his eyes had been on you.
Your heart was in your throat and your skin felt much too warm by now. How much longer could this awkward, tense game continue before you either left or –
–or–
“Here. I made you one. I don’t think they’ll be back tonight. Minhee seemed pretty sick.” Your daydream was cut short by his shy smile and the plate that you noticed had a tiny tremble that made the sandwich dance in front of your vision for a moment before you grabbed it from him with a surprised eyebrow lift and your own sweet smile.
“Thank you–” you began to express your gratitude when you felt his hand reach down for your own, then free hand that held the remote control that you had somehow forgotten about during the game of shy glances that had been going on for an hour since the others left.
His fingers grazed against your own for the splittest of seconds before you felt him grabbing what he had clearly been after and he sat down next to you on the sofa and focused his attention on the big tv, casually flipping through channels as he began to eat his sandwich.
You could not fake such brevity…because your hand was tingling where the memory of his fingers had touched and your eyes were on his profile.. his pretty nose, striking eyes that flitted around as he focused on channel after channel that flew by. His jaw flexed as he chewed and you watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed.
You half knew that you should stop staring at him and your mind had its own little count down of impending doom…the seconds you had in which you could freely take in his beauty before he would realize that you were staring and turn to catch you.
“You’re not eating. You should eat. I made it for you.” You heard his voice as he spoke up, still not looking at you, but clearly very aware of your trance. Was he as aware of you as you were of him?
You closed your mouth, which to your horror had been hanging wide open since he sat down, and you pulled your eyes down to look at the plate in your lap.
The sandwich looked simple, yet your stomach was hungry so you picked it up and took a small bite, forcing your eyes to stay down at the plate and off of his face. If only you could force your heart to somehow calm the hell down too.
You must have jumped a mile into the air when you felt his fingertips brush lightly against the corner of your lips and your exaggerated startled reaction made him quickly pull his hand back with wide startled eyes.
“You-you had something, sorry I didn’t meant to–” his voice sounded nervous as he stammered into an explanation as to why he had suddenly touched your mouth and you felt the blush creeping rapidly up your neck to fill your cheeks.
“See?” Your eyes moved to the finger he held up to your face and you saw a bit of sauce from the sandwich — behind his evidence, a small smirk on that pretty face and softer eyes that swore innocence.
He was moving now and you felt the couch shift as he stood up suddenly, taking his half eaten sandwich with him as he retreated into the kitchen.
He came back with a napkin and handed it to you with a bit of a pout on his face that caught you off guard as he sat back down next to you, the warmth of his thigh seeping through his jeans, warming your leg that he leaned against.
“Here…since you don’t want me to touch you.”
There was a bit of a moping tone in his soft voice and you shook your head with a tiny smile.
“I want you to touch me.”
The bold words were out before you could take them back and seal them inside your vault forever and you snapped your lips shut much too late to stop them from reaching his ears.
His hand that held the napkin stopped midway on its way to you and he stared at you with furrowed brows and a confused look on his face.
“I mean…” you knew the blush on your face was fierce and you shook your head trying to steady your voice as you tried to find some way to explain what you had just confessed to him.
“You… want me to–” his question was as fragmented as your mind felt and his eyes were on yours, boring into your mind with the intensity you felt in his gaze. A puff of air danced through his parted lips that you swear you felt hit you right in the face and he closed his eyes tightly for a moment, tilting his head back and forth a few times.
“Y-You’re Minhee’s b-best friend…”
Minseok whispered, nearly too quietly for you to hear and through the noise of the program blaring on the tv screen across the room you weren’t even quite sure you had heard it.. but your hopeful mind screamed at you, sounding out a warning now as he sat there with his eyes closed tightly and one hand slowly moving the plate from his lap to sit on the side beside him.
You looked down to see the napkin flit to the floor and when you looked up he wasn’t looking at you, but down at your hand that rested over your thigh, gripping the side of your own plate for dear life.
When he moved at last you felt the tug as he moved the plate from your lap and his eyes pulled up much too slowly to look into yours.
“You–” he said quietly and you paid no attention to where he put the plate because he had moved closer to where you sat, leaning into you, you could see that the spell he was under was a strong one and his fingers danced up your arm, tracing small circles with cold fingertips along your skin.
“Oppa–” you began a quiet question and his eyes closed again with a slow inhale.
“Do…you think you could call me Minseok?”
“Oppa feels a bit…guilty.”
With his eyes still closed you watched him swallow and the pinkness in his cheeks grew before he clenched down harder on his jaw, making that muscles flex in his face.
Guilty. He knew this was out of line. This was not allowed, yet here you both sat, inches apart without pesky things like plates and sandwiches to get in between you.
He waited for what felt like hours for you to remove the final barrier.
“Minseok–” his name on your lips that night has its own profile of complex flavors and as soon as you said it his eyes shot open and he leaned in, lips pressing against your own as he traced his fingers lightly along your jawline. His fingers flexed against you and your own hands moved to rest over his chest.
It was the second time he had ever kissed you, and your mind molded into action as your body responded to him this time. No longer stunned and impotent like the stolen kiss in the pantry, you parted your own lips when you felt his head tilt and the sharp inhale of breath he took straight from your lungs, both for oxygen and for the taste of you, you sighed into him, giving in to everything you had been wanting to do for years. The softness of those lips, the wetness of his tongue and the greediness you felt in that kiss felt like a drug. You felt its effects take over your body instantly. And you wanted more.
The kiss lasted for years. Although over in a few seconds, that kiss lasted and lasted in your mind and your memory and Minseok pulled away with a small smile, resting his forehead against your own, his hand gripping around the back of your neck.
“You’re Minhee’s best friend.” A whiny complaint against your lips brought out a courage in you and you smiled into him as you leaned in to kiss his lips once more, enjoying the way he reluctantly gave in, a little too easily. Enjoying the way his breathing turned ragged and affected when you bit down lightly on his bottom lip.
“I can be your best friend too Minseok, we’ve known each other long enough.”
“Okay… you can be my best friend then.” You had a feeling he would’ve agreed to anything right now with the sudden desperation you heard in his voice and he was standing and tugging at your arm, urging you to stand, pulling you along, out of the Living Room down the hallway, he turned to watch you as he walked backwards, your hand outstretched in front of you when his back reached his closed bedroom door, he paused with his hand on the knob.
“Does my best friend want to come see my room?”
Best Friend… the memory spurred a sudden realization and you heard him groaning again as he turned over on the bed in a fitful sleep now.
Had the words really come from your own lips? Had you urged Minseok to consider you his best friend from the very beginning? You must have been so high on him that you hadn’t realized the impact your words seemed to have had on him.
There was a knock on the doorframe and you turned suddenly, brought out of your thoughts by the sight of Minseok’s Mother.
“Can we talk for a moment?” There was a lightness in her voice that you honestly hadn’t anticipated, yet as soon as you reached the doorway you felt her grab ahold of your hand and pull you out of Minseok’s room into the hallway. Her eyes shone with an out of place giddy excitement and you tried your best to keep your face as guiltless and calm as you possibly could as she squeezed down lightly on the palm of your hand with a growing smile on her face.
“First, before I get ahead of myself, I need to apologize for my son’s behavior this evening. Pulling you into this mess must have been very shocking and confusing to you dear, I’m so sorry.” Her lips frowned in earnest for a moment and you stared at her in absolute confusion.
Why was she apologizing to you? Hadn’t she heard what MInseok had told you? Hadn’t she heard the stupid drunken love declaration and seen the kiss mere feet from her face in her own kitchen? What kind of alternate universe had you stumbled into right now?
In that moment, you watched as her face changed and a look of absolute delight took over her features as she looked at your face. And she squeezed down again on your hand. She looked so excited now that you allowed your tense shoulders to relax a bit out of genuine confusion.
There was no way she was happy about this…right?
Yet, impossibly…Mrs. Kim stood in front of you with a smile and her eyes so full of life and hope you couldn’t deny what you were seeing right in front of you.
“Mrs. Kim …there’s no need for you to apologize to me I–”
Your words were cautious as you swallowed the lump in your throat and prepared yourself for the explanation you owed the woman for the years of deception.
“I know he’s hurting right now, but it’s just so exciting when you think about it. Finally…finally that boy has–” You heard a giggle erupt from her chest and you were pretty sure she had lost her mind now. There was no way she was this happy about this mess.
Your reaction must have been unsatisfactory because she was watching you closely for a while before she shook your hand which she held tightly in both of her warm hands.
“What’s with your expression? This is wonderful news my darling!” She exclaimed and you felt the hope in your chest swell for a moment before it was pushed back down the the harsh reality of the situation you were in.
As excited as Mrs. Kim was for you and her son, the harsh reality was that there was nothing at all to be excited about.
There was no you and Minseok anymore. You weren’t even sure there had ever been something between you that could be named as any sort of a pair.
“Mrs. Kim, I’m not–” You shook your head and you heard the exasperated sigh fill the hallway you both occupied as she quickly began speaking again, cutting you off in her excitement.
“Don’t you get it? He’s finally in love! Why else would he be such a mess right now? You know he hides everything so well except for the drinking…and it’s no wonder, with Sohee as upset as she was after the blind date, he must be in absolute agony by now. It’s been three days. My poor boy, finally experiencing the joys and heartaches of love.”
Sohee.
Sohee.
You felt as if the woman had tossed a bucket of ice water over your head as soon as you heard the name.
The name of the perfect, elegant, radiant Sohee who Mrs. Kim loved and wanted so deeply to be the woman to marry her son.
You clenched down hard on your jaw as Minseok’s mother kept talking, her rapid fire excited speech pattern echoed into the hollow space that had filled your head now and you stood lifeless in the hallway as she excitedly filled you with her theories.
“He must have been confused then he saw you there in the kitchen, his mind in such turmoil for the love of his life, that he was sure he had lost. It’s really just a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.” She giggled again and you felt nauseated by the rapid words that flew out of her mouth, spinning your head around with each twist and turn of her imagination.
“I suppose after that much soju, you two do look a bit alike. She’s much…smaller and…well delicate I suppose–”
“I think Minseok Oppa cut his foot earlier, I was going to look at it now if you don’t mind Mrs. Kim.”
You couldn’t do any more and you cut the woman off before she could go into any more detail of all the ways you would never measure up to beautiful, perfect Sohee.
Her lips snapped shut and she dropped your hand quickly as a look of concern flashed over her features. She moved toward the open bedroom door and you inhaled a soul cleansing breath that brought too much of the bullshit left behind in this hallway with it to have any clearing effects on you.
You could do this. You could care for his foot and then leave him to his stupor and her to her delusions.
“Yes of course, you’re the doctor after all. Minhee…will you bring the first aid kit? She’s going to examine him.”
You didn’t remind her that veterinarians didn’t usually see people. She never listened when you told her anyway.
Minhee was at your side with the zip up red bag that you eventually packed up for Mrs. Kim yourself after enough visits in which you had to run to the pharmacy for something.
Minseok had rolled over into his belly and his feet hung off the end of the bed where you sat down cross legged to get a look at his feet. The black socks showed signs of trouble instantly when you saw the darker wet spot at the ball of his left foot and green shards of glass stuck to the surface of the fabric.
You winced and carefully peeled the sock off to reveal a bloody spot with a small bit of green glass still piercing the skin.
Your gloves were on and you irrigated the wound, cleaning the blood from the outside of his skin and carefully removing the glass from the gash in ball of his foot with tweezers.
He let out a low groan when you pulled the wound apart to inspect for more glass and your fingers released his skin quickly. The light wasn’t bright enough to check thoroughly so you send Minhee for a flashlight.
You didn’t like hurting him…but his wound needed to be checked. You also had a flash of annoyance that you cared so much about his physical comfort when he was passed out drunk on the bed, not in any real position to complain anyway.
When Minhee returned and flashed the light on his foot you treated his wound with less care and a bit more roughness than your heart was comfortable with.
When you were satisfied, you medicated and bandaged up his foot, wondering if he could keep off it for at least the next 36 hours so it could heal properly.
Without much thought you pulled out your prescription pad and wrote an order for rest that he was sure to ignore…you were a veterinarian after all and this medical order held no actual authority…him being a human and all.
And if there was anything Minseok was great at, it was ignoring you.
You slept with Minhee, sharing her big comfy bed like you had so many times in the past, but sleep was elusive and you found yourself drawn to the room down the hall.
Sometime in the middle of the night you couldn’t remain in bed any longer and felt the annoying urge to check on Minseok. After thirty minutes debating you finally left the warm bed of your best friend for the forbidden room that currently smelled like a brewery.
The dim light of the bathroom shone lightly across his face and you knelt down next to the bed close to his face to watch his sleeping visage.
A steady rise and fall of his chest set your mind at ease and you allowed your gaze to wander over the features of his face. Dark eyelashes splayed below closed lids, lips parted as he breathed through his mouth and a peaceful expression in his relaxed eyebrows sent a wave of regret through you.
Regret for the way this turned out. The years of friendship thrown away for a stupid fight, for his stupid fear of whatever this was. Him choosing to act like an asshole as a defense for the way he really felt inside.
But which version of Minseok was real? The pompous jerk who flaunted his wealth and success over you, used you for what he wanted and left without so much as a warning, vanishing from your existence for weeks on end, ignoring your attempts at contacting him….
Or the sweet caring friend who called you just to ask about your day, tell you stories about the tour he was on, the city he was in, sent you selfies from exotic destinations with a sweet smile or a small video with a kiss…
His words in the kitchen earlier tonight rang out in your mind. This was the second time it had happened, both times while drunk. The first time he told you he loved you, it had spooked him so badly he ignored you for weeks. Now he had done it again with more conviction, and with witnesses this time.
“What are you doing here?”
His voice suddenly rang out in the darkness of his bedroom and you jumped to life when you realized his eyes were open and he had just spoken to you.
His voice was hoarse and his question was quiet, unsure and just a bit slurred. You hadn’t intended on being caught in his room as he slept, yet here you were, trapped under his sleepy eyes.
“You drank a lot Oppa… and you hurt yourself.”
You were careful to keep your voice a quiet whisper even though you knew for a fact that the sounds coming from this room were muted enough for Minhee who slept down the hall to be unaware and undisturbed.
“I didn’t … hurt you did I?” You saw genuine worry behind his eyes now as he asked, unsure of what he may have done tonight and you quickly shook your head to absolve him of whatever worries he may have been having.
“No but you did do …something,” you responded with a deep sigh that lingered in the air in front of your face as you shifted to sit on your butt and wrap your arms around your knees in front of you.
His eyes widened a hair and you watched his brown irises dart around your face for a moment before he blinked rapidly and began to sit up onto his elbow on the bed. After a moment of searching his memory his eyes widened and you heard a small gasp before his eyes hardened slightly and he broke the eye contact he had held with you.
“I–” he began with a stammer that took his confidence and tossed it out the window.
“I remember I … saw you and I … said some things…”
If anything could be said about Kim Minseok, it was that he was consistent. He consistently kept his mouth shut when he should have said something. He consistently denied his feelings and his emotions and he consistently evaded telling you the truth about those feelings and emotions to an embarrassing degree. Your eyes were rolling and the scoff that left your lungs sounded loud in your ears.
He definitely heard the scoff loud and clear and his eyes were back on you as he clenched down hard on his jaw and furrowed his eyebrows.
You expected it by now. You knew this man better than he knew himself. The excuses were on their way.
“Listen I’m just – I’m incredibly stressed with work, the debut of the subunit is happening very soon and it’s been ages since I’ve had a minute to unwind and drink a bit…I may have gone overboard.”
It was the same story again and again and you stared ahead into his face with your mouth open and the words lost on your tongue. Because at this point, why were you even bothering anymore?
His words trailed off with the look you were giving him and you caught the nervous way he blinked his eyes and glanced up into your eyes again and again breaking the gaze with each puff of breath from his lungs.
“W-Why are you staring at me like that?”
You let out a dry humorless laugh and he swallowed at the dryness you were sure he had in his mouth now and he watched you carefully.
“I guess you don’t remember the kiss in front of your mom and Minhee. The way you held me and kissed me and told me… some things?”
His eyes and mouth widened simultaneously and you braced against your knees and rose to your feet as you reached for the small piece of paper you had placed on his nightstand and you tossed it in his direction. It fluttered around and he scrambled to catch it before it flew to the floor, his eyes glancing down at the message you had scribbled on the paper.
“Stay off your foot for 36 hours and go get a tetanus shot tomorrow morning.”
“W-What? Where are you going?” His question flew out quickly and you heard a bit of panic under his words.
“Don’t worry too much. Your mom thinks you had me confused with Sohee because you were so drunk and there’s no possible way those words and that kiss could have been meant for someone like me–”
“Your stupid secret is still safe.”
You were spinning on your heels, heading for the door before the hurt you know you saw in his eyes made you lose your nerve.
Your hand was on the doorknob when you heard the unmistakable sound of a surprised cry of pain and a stumble of a body against you made your hand freeze on the doorknob.
There was warmth at your back and you gasped out loud as strong arms wrapped around your shoulders, enveloping you completely in the smell of Minseok coupled with the old stench of alcohol and antiseptic. His arms squeezed tighter and the lump in your throat made it difficult to swallow away the bitter taste in the back of your throat.
After a moment you found your voice.
“Oppa–”
“Please don’t call me that. You know I hate that from you.” His voice was at your neck and your eyes closed against your will as his warm voice played against your ear drums. You could feel their descent as they ran down your throat and tickled lightly against your heart. Like fingertips pressing into a wound, you felt the ache of his words.
“Oppa.. let me go, I’m not staying.” Your words didn’t sound as convincing once they were out as you hoped.
“Please– You–You took care of me tonight. You had to have done that for a reason right? You can’t just leave. I need you.”
You felt a flood with his words and the battle raging within your chest was thrashing you from the inside. You could feel the effects of the scrimmage raging against the walls of your ribcage. Bullets flew, bodies were falling, the casualties rose in numbers.
“I need you tonight baby, please. I miss you. I want you. You’re already here, just stay here with me.. huh?”
A rattle inside your chest let you know when the big bomb exploded and the bricks and glass that flew sent a shockwave through you. You felt the aftershocks raging though you and you began to tremble from the strain. You were strong, but not strong enough to withstand this war.
The tightness with which he held onto you vanished when he felt you trembling inside his arms and you heard your name on his lips peppered against your ear in a frantic voice.
The trembling brought waves of emotion. Violent, invasive, destructive, weak emotion and you felt your legs give as you lost the fight against his closed bedroom door you fell down to your knees and you heard the startled gasp of the man who held onto you and fell to the floor behind you.
You couldn’t steady your breaths. So you gasped and the sobs threatened to take whatever bit of dignity you had left.
It wasn’t much anymore anyway.
You heard his voice. Too distant and too scared and then you felt arms again. Steadier and strong and you were lifted and moved onto a soft surface that brought back the memories again.
The desperate kisses. The way his fingers touched every inch of your skin and the feeling of his lips and tongue on your flesh. The way he asked again and again if you were sure. The way you pleaded with him to give in and do it and the relief and euphoria you felt when he pushed inside of you for the first time on this very bed.
And you heard it. Somewhere in the distance amidst your sins you heard it.
In his own voice you heard it.
“I’m sorry–”
“I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry. Fuck..” a frustrated growl against the top of your head and he was laying behind you as he held on to your trembling body.
More than the apology the loudest noise that echoed out, giving rival to your own tears were the ragged sobs coming from his chest. You turned your head to look into the darkness and you saw his eyes squeezed together, a look of anguish on his face and tears streamed down his face.
“I’m sorry…I’ll stop okay? I’ll stop, I’m so sorry–” he repeated again and again as his arms rubbed your back and you felt the exhaustion from nearly a whole night of sleep deprivation and stress catching up to you as your sobs quieted down and the bombs cleared leaving behind smoke and rubble and you gave up. Refusing to fight the sleep that pulled you forcefully under the waves you let your mind be silent and still and you gave up.
2AM [M] - part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12
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