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rancidtae · 8 months

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ARCADIA’S LULLABY | CHAPTER 5

Genre: Mafia AU. Vigilante AU. Sci-fi (AI). Warnings: ANGST. fluff. mentions of near-death experiences. mentions of drug use. emotional tension during breakfast. chanyeol crying. Pairing: exo & Original Female Character (Jung Jiah/Kang Rina) - Kim Minseok/Original Female Character - Zhang Yixing/Original Female Character Word count: 11k+ chapter summary: the one where shit gets real and sehun just wants everyone to talk about their feelings and let him have his breakfast in peace. a/n: WE'RE SO BACK. (we're so over) but make it old-friendship-turned-sour core.

guess what you need isn't always what you want from me

masterlist - meet the characters

082809 - 5:34 pm.

13 years ago

“Yo, open up.”

It was the third time he knocked.

Chanyeol pressed his ear against the wood and heard the muffled murmur of a news anchor.

“C'mon, I can hear the TV, I know you’re in there.”

Not one to be patient when people were purposefully being assholes, he fished the set of spare keys Mr. Kang gave his mom from the pocket of his ripped jeans and jingled them extra hard. Just to piss her off and warn her.

“Wow, this is depressing.” he blurted out, closing the door behind him.

His 15-year-old neighbor did not look surprised, nor tried to pretend that his presence wasn't unwanted. Chanyeol, however, had never worries about being on her good side. They'd been annoying each other all their lives.

Tall piles of books covered the living room, some even went over his head. They were playing videos of the memorial with the president giving a speech in the background on the TV. A steaming bowl of noodles and some side dishes waited on the small dining table.

It was the anniversary of the Seoul Metro bombings.

As always, every year the city shut down for the memorial. No one was allowed to forget such a dark stain on the country’s history. Over 900 casualties, even more injured.

Chanyeol remembered the day of the attack. His mom rushing to pick him, his sister Yoora and Rina from school, earlier than usual. She didn't answer their questions until they got home and she locked the door behind her. Mr. Kang didn't pick up Rina until the next afternoon, and he looked like a ghost.

That was the day he learned the meaning of the word terrorism.

He took a look at the family picture by the entrance and picked up the remote, turning the TV off.

“What is that?” Rina suddenly asked, making him jump on his feet.

She was curiously looking at the pale pink box under his arm, and it took him a second to remember he'd brought it with him. With every year that passed, Rina only looked more and more like her mother, the resemblance was scary sometimes.

He fixed his throat. “Pastries from Swimmy’s”

Of course, she knew that. It was her favorite bakery.

Rina, however, turned around with feigned disinterest.

“Ah. How’d you even get them? Aren’t they closed today?”

“I don’t know. Yoora’s boyfriend sent them, but she hates him right now so she gave them to me.”

“Cupcakes?” she asked over her shoulder, rattling things inside the fridge.

“Multiflavor.” he nodded, fighting back a cruel grin when she stills.

“You want some?” she asked, pointing at the bowl of steamy noodles.

Chanyeol couldn't remember her ever willingly offering him a bite of anything.

“Nope, I’m good.” he chirped.

Her face dropped. Suddenly deciding that there's nothing inside of her interest, she slammed the poor fridge door.

“Ok, let’s go,” he finally said, feeling like he annoyed her enough for the day. He did not lie when he called the scene depressing.

Her sitting down on the floor and eating overcooked noodles alone when there was a perfectly nice summer afternoon right outside kind of softened his heart.

“Where? Why?”

“Seriously? We’re not gonna sit here and eat them alone, that’s some loser shit. Plus, it’s way too much sugar.”

“It’s not” she protested, struggling to put on her worn-out white Converse.

“Maybe not for me, but it is when you spend your life slugging inside. When’s the last time you went for a run, huh?”

Naturally, they ended up making their way inside Arcadia, her father's arcade spot just a few blocks away. They entered through the backdoor, using Rina’s spare key that she religiously wore around her neck.

Baekhyun nearly landed on his ass when he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye, hand to his chest when he recognizes them and immediately lighting up at the prospect of eating pastries.

Rina found a seat on the countertop, while Chanyeol brought two chairs for himself and his legs from the backroom. Baekhyun picked up his copy of Rebirth and saved his strawberry-flavored gum for later, carefully wrapping it in a sticky note, much to Rina's disgust.

The three indulged in a cupcake each, humming in bliss.

“So," Baekhyun smacked "where you been?”

“Busy.” she said, legs swinging happily, licking buttercream off her pinky finger.

“Doing what?"

"Stuff."

"Like what, sleeping inside a coffin? You look like you haven’t seen the sun in months.”

Chanyeol agreed. “You’re gonna regret staying inside once we’re back to school.”

Rina was not about to tell them she'd been reading those books at home, one per day like an apple. Her father kept bringing new ones, leaving them stacked up on every surface he could find, building a labyrinth out of them.

The last was Fahrenheit 451. Baekhyun would've liked it if, but he was more of a manhwa guy.

She took a look around the room, all the machines were on. She remembered something. “Wait. Why are you working today?”

Baekhyun pointed one finger at the door. The open neon sign was off, and the door was locked. “I'm not. My aunt and my cousins are visiting and I needed some alone time. And they’re all on because–”

“He doesn’t like the silence.” Chanyeol said, mockingly, with his cap on sideways and clearly finding Baekhyun childish.

“Please don’t tell your dad.” he requested with his customer service voice. “That reminds me, you think he’ll give me a raise if I ask him?”

“Aren’t you only covering shifts for Yuan? I don’t think he even knows you work here.”

He did not take well to that. Sitting up straight and dropping what was left of his cupcake on the box, he put his hands on his waist.

“Only covering– what are you talking about? I know this place better than Yuan ever could. I’m more of an Arcadia member of staff than he is or could ever be” he started counting down with his fingers, Rina took a deep breath. “I’m the general manager, I’m HR, marketing, I’m the cleaning and security staff, I keep an eye on Mintchoco at the back and even–”

Thank god, a knock at the front door interrupted his rant. Jongdae was leaning over the glass, cupping his face and pointing at the lock on the door. Minseok stood just behind him on the sidewalk.

Standing up with a groan and still complaining about the disrespect under his breath, Baekhyun let them in.

Minseok was hugging a ball against his side, had dry blood on his left knee, and his usually squeaky clean soccer shoes and white socks all dirtied up. Jongdae was no better, face dripping in sweat, fanning his shirt, complaining about the heat.

“Swimmy’s?” Minseok asked, eyes wide.

“Like I said” Baekhyun continued. “Arcadia is me. I am Arcadia. I know the consoles. I love this place. This is like home to me. I absolutely, totally, most definitely deserve a raise.”

“If you love it so much shouldn’t your pay be enough?” Asked Jongdae, standing under the a/c vent.

“Right. He makes a good point. You should be doing it for free, even”

Baekhyun glared at Chanyeol. “So what are you suggesting? Unpaid labor? I have a family to feed.”

“Your parents do the feeding in your family” Laughed Minseok, asking Rina to pass him a strawberry cupcake. One of the same strawberry cupcakes Rina had threatened Baekhyun and Chanyeol not to touch.

Chanyeol gave her an odd look, she pretended not to notice it.

“Just say you’re saving up to buy yourself a laptop.”

“That I will get my hands on soon if our dear Rinrin here tells Mr. Kang how good of an employee, and friend I am.” he paused. “Maybe just mention the employee part, nepotism goes against my values.”

"Ok” she agreed. But then she crossed her arms and lifted her chin, and Baekhyun’s cheerful grin crumbled. “But you’ll owe me”

“Ah. What’s this?” he sucked on his teeth “I thought we were friends.”

"You said nepotism goes against your values.”

“So you’re blackmailing me.”

“We’re negotiating.”

“Woah. This is unbelievable. You're really growing into an evil little thing.”

"Speaking about evil little things, we saw your boyfriend on our way here. He was totally asking to get his ass kicked.” said Jongdae through a full mouth. “Ith wath him, right Mintheok?”

Minseok tried to telepathically get him to keep his mouth shut, but he kept going, clueless.

“Looked like he pissed Youngjae off again. You know how he hates being stared at”

By her boyfriend, they were talking about Kyungsoo, who was nothing of the sort. He was, though, known for being excellent at getting on the bad side of people. It wasn't his fault, some just read him wrong.

Kyungsoo was just misunderstood. Often. And Youngjae was a bully.

“And now she has been summoned. Our peace maker.” Chanyeol announced, watching her expression drop. She jumped from the counter and started putting her hair up on a ponytail.

Extra tight, extra high. She meant business.

“Wait. For real?”

“You know, just because you’re a girl and your dad’s a teacher it doesn’t mean Youngjae and his friends won’t beat you up one of these days” Jondgae called out, finally noticing his mistake.

“Hold on, wait wait wait! You’ll tell your dad, right?” Baekhyun asked, watching her walk behind the counter and get the pepper spray from its secret spot.

“You’ll owe me.” she said, and walked out of the door.

The guys saw her cross the street and disappear from view.

"What was that?" asked Jongdae.

"Pepper spray."

Chanyeol groaned. “Dude, why did you tell her? Mr. Kang’s gonna be upset if she’s home late.”

Jongdae did not take well to that, and quickly started firing back questions about how is it his fault that she likes to take on other people's problems.

Sighing, Minseok rubbed the crumbs off his hands and silently made his way to the door.

“Really, you too?”

Minseok shrugged. “She shouldn’t be going alone. And you shouldn't have let her take the pepper spray.”

Jongdae, not at all surprised, only shook his head and stuffed his mouth with another bite. The outcome came as no surprise, he was just glad that the possibility of Rina getting in trouble and Mr. Kang being upset about it had significantly decreased.

Minseok wasn't much of a fighter, but he knew how to make younger kids respect him.

“Are these fresh?” Jongdae was frowning at the cupcake. “How’d you even get them today?”

“Mr. Kang asked me to pick them up. I don't know how he did it, but he got them to bake these for him.” Chanyeol answered, pausing for a bit before adding. “He asked me to get her out of the apartment.”

Jongdae and Baekhyun nodded in understanding, no more questions on the subject were asked.

081322 - 05:12 pm

Consciousness comes in waves.

First, pain. Second, something warm and blinding.

Sunlight.

Third: white.

The room slowly comes into focus. White walls. Wood framing the window. Sheer curtains.

Fuck. It really fucking hurts.

She can deal with that. The disorientation? That’s different.

A burst of anxiety threatens to come to the surface at once.

Everyone has cycles waiting to be kickstarted at the beck and call of the smallest trigger. Good or bad, but most importantly, unavoidable.

Jiah spent a good chunk of her life testing out remedies for the bad ones. Prescriptions. Therapists. Thoughtfully curated lists of habits; healthy for the long term, destructive for a quick fix.

And even though nothing could have prepared her for this, time has worked on her.

So as the events from last night come back to her and the doorknob turns with a click, she stays calm and lets her eyes close again.

The person lingers for a moment, doing god knows what. His shadow flickers through her eyelids. Eventually, she’s alone again.

When she opens her eyes again the drowsiness has faded. There’s a classic mid-century flip clock on the nightstand. A piranha plant figure stares back at her with its teeth all bared out, and her transmitter’s politely placed next to it.

She knows right away whose bed this is.

Painfully, she props herself up to a seated position and inspects the sling and the dressed wound. No ethical doctor’s gonna give her the dose of painkillers she’ll need for that.

She’s wearing a thin, depressing hospital gown, and that will not do.

He's definitely loaded. The house is enormous, enough to get lost in and fit her apartment maybe five or six times. Several doors line down the hallway leading to a vast, asymmetrical set of stairs. Vaulted high ceilings top up a communal area, with a long skylight that washes everything in abundant natural light.

She pads down the stairs, following the sound of voices and laughter.

And there he is, stomping out of what looks like some kind of office made of glass walls.

“Hey, hey, wait. No. That is not fair, how was I supposed to–”

He locks eyes with her.

Bewildered. Like he forgot she was there and that just a few minutes ago he was in that room with her.

She looks back at him, like she didn’t know it was him the second her eyes landed on that piranha plant.

A tremor goes through his body before he starts coughing violently.

“Fuck— what the fuck?” more coughing, he plucks something from his mouth. A ridiculously chunky piece of pink gum covered in thick saliva.

Heads turn at the rough edge of her voice “That’s what happens when you try to chew a whole wheel of hubba bubba tape at once.”

Byun Baekhyun stares back at her like she just said the most offensive thing possible, gum still between his fingers.

“Well you can’t just stand there and– lurk looking like– like Shanks and not expect to scare the shit out of innocent people.”

Two figures by the kitchen entrance watch them. One looks kind of confused, the other one crosses his arms and holds back a smile.

“One Piece? Are you twelve?”

“Says the grown woman who can’t get her arm through an oversized sleeve.”

“I'm wearing a sling, you asshole.” she snaps. Baekhyun looks down at the fluttering sleeve, sucking in his lips between his teeth.

And then, like switch is flipped, their expressions shift. Her brows soften, and a wry grin tugs at the corner of her lips. A lighthearted smile spreads across his face.

Jongin gives the person next to him a bewildered glance.

“What’s up with the hair?”

Baekhyun runs his fingers through it. “You don’t like it?”

“Let me rephrase that, did you go to Lady’s Room and talk to the girls?”

Silence.

“I don’t know what–”

“You still touch your hair when you’re lying.”

“Ok. Yeah. No.” He points a finger at her “You’re not going Sherlock on us when you just woke up after a near-death experience.”

“Says who?”

“Says me," he snaps with an attitude, quickly adding “Doctor’s orders.”

“So first Yixing’s a cop and now you’re a doctor?” Startled, Baekhyun opens his mouth and closes it. “What’s next, Kyungsoo’s a wedding planner?”

“Youth pastor, actually. Very successful. The youths love him. And I could be a doctor if wanted, by the way.” he scoffs.

She cocks an eyebrow.

“Whatever. Ah, this won’t do. You suck at reunions. Go back upstairs, we’re doing this again.” he waves his arms at her, urging her back up the stairs. Surprised, she spurts out a laugh. The rebound pain from her shoulder makes her stop and hiss.

“Alright, leave her alone.”

That face she’d recognize anywhere. It’s unfair that they’ve all aged so nicely. Kim Jongdae looks like an upgraded version of himself, just with different hair and somehow, better skin.

“How are you feeling?”

“Lucid enough to steal my clothes, clearly.”

She realizes she's been staring at him like an owl and fixes her throat.

“Been better.” she nods, bowing quickly, awkwardly waving at the end. “Hi.”

Baekhyun snorts. "Did you just bow?"

Jongdae bows back and waves, amused but ignoring Baekhyun. “Wanna take a seat? I bet you're starving.”

She’s famished. The thought of food is enough motivation to postpone the thinking about everything that is happening right now. And since she's not escaping anytime soon, she might as well acknowledge the other person in the room.

“So, is Jongin your real name, or is this another Juyeon/Sehun thing?”

The kitchen is ridiculously huge, with another skylight at the top and an island at the very center. She sits down, leaving an empty stool between her and the impostor, who shares a look with the other two men.

“Yixing slipped up, wasn't hard to figure out.” she explains.

Jongin fixes his throat. “Jongin is my real name.”

“And how do you know Taemin?”

“We used to go to the same dance studio for a while.”

“And he just introduced us. By coincidence.”

Baekhyun steps in. “You had a horde of mercenaries on your track. We were trying to get them before they got you and Jongin was there to keep an eye on you. Him being Taemin’s friend was a happy coincidence.”

It's not convincing at all, and the thinking starts.

That’s for being so fucking stupid. Do you realize what you got yourself into?

Go ahead, big guy.

“Where’s Chanyeol?”

“What, are we not enough for the welcoming party?”

Jongin, however, knows what she's thinking. She doesn't like it.

"It wasn't him. The man in the bathroom came with backup. We thought we’d handled all of them, but a stray one took us by surprise and shot you.”

“I mean, we can show you the footage of him following the guy.” Baekhyun offers immediately. “But come on, you don’t think he–”

“No need.” patching her up defeats the purpose of taking her down, but that doesn't make up for several loose ends. “However, the manhandling was unnecessary.”

“You did kick Jongin in the balls.” Jongdae reminds her, putting a glass of cold water in front of her.

“If you guys knew I was being followed then why didn’t you just give me a heads up?”

How did they know?

And where’s the rest?

Baekhyun smiles. "You made it abundantly clear to Yixing that you didn't want us near."

"So why didn't he come?"

“He was out of town, but he asked you to be careful. Several times, he said.”

He did. And she rejected his attempts at helping her beyond getting Haneul protection. Several times indeed. He was very insistent. She brushed him off every time.

Disoriented, she sticks to nursing her glass of water in slow sips. Several details keep her alert.

One, eyebrows/Tuxedo Mask/Sehun had or has been protecting Lee Chungjae, despite Yixing’s insistence that they’re not involved with his people.

Two, Baekhyun definitely went sniffing around Lady’s Room, and if she knows anything about him, he didn't just stop at that.

Three, Junmyeon and Minseok are members of the syndicate.

The sound of a motorcycle roaring outside grows closer and gets her out of her head. The conversation has moved in a completely unexpected direction without her.

“This might be out of my expertise, but I don’t think you can compare periods to getting shot.” Jongdae says, unbothered by the noise.

“Why? Blood is blood, no matter where it comes from” Baekhyun argues. “And I’ve heard scary stories about cramps”

The steel door is slid open just enough for a tall man to come in, balancing piled up pizza boxes and complaining about someone needing to lube up the damn rail.

“This is the last time you use me as a delivery guy” he declares, dropping the boxes on the counter. He stops when he notices her. Stoic as ever, a face impossible to forget. “You look rough. Bet you wish you listened to my advice about not getting in the way of bullets.”

She frowns, but then another figure walks in. He's holding two helmets, sliding the door shut with a nudge of his shoulder. He takes a look at her, evidently unimpressed.

“I heard you were begging to see me. How you managed to live all these years without me, now that’s an unresolved mystery, one of many.”

“I don’t know how I held up, honestly” she replies, voice flat. “Every day I woke up feeling like my life was missing something.”

“Poor thing.” He tsks, mockingly pouting at her, hanging both helmets on the wall. “But I heard you’ve had some interesting characters keeping you company, so at least you weren't lonely, right?”

The bitter undertone is unexpected.

“Rin,” Baekhyun calls, a smile on his face, and a sideways less friendly glare at Chanyeol. “You still like orange soda, right?”

They move like protocol, opening the boxes and taking drinks out of the fridge, Jongin walks out of the kitchen after losing a match of rock paper scissors to Jongdae.

Chanyeol stares at her like she's about to stab someone. The pizza looks too good for her to care.

“So, up to anything exciting?”

“Not much. You?”

“Oh, come on. Half of the city’s freelancers are searching for you as we speak. Those were some expensive mercenaries following you around.”

“Makes you wonder how shitty the cheap ones must be.” she points out.

“You also looked too calm for someone who thought she had a gun pointed at her face.” he finishes, folding a piece of pizza in two and devouring half of it with one generous bite. "Definitely wasn't your first time."

“I didn’t think you had it in you.” she shrugs, taking a first bite. It's good. She has to close her eyes and sigh for a moment. “And it wasn’t my first time, he ruined my favorite jacket the other night, remember? Got my ear ringing for a few days.”

Sehun shrugs. "You got in the way."

“Right, how’d that happen anyway?” He points at his big ass ear. The left one. Eyeing hers like he didn’t get the point across. Her hair is covering the transmitter, but of course, they don't need to see it to know it's there.

She snorts, not amused at all. “Aren’t you too comfortable?”

Jongdae calls his name, something like a warning. Chanyeol drops the subject and focuses on getting his hands on a second slice, Sehun chuckles at the scene.

“You guys couldn’t wait for us?”

Jongin reappears, followed by a familiar face that feels like a punch to the chest.

His eyes scan the room, curious about the sudden silence. It ends when he notices her. There's a flicker there, but whatever he's really thinking is quickly guarded by a stoic expression.

“Why is she here?”

“She’s feeling fine,” Baekhyun shrugs. “I’d be dying to get out of bed after 15 hours of sleep too.”

Do Kyungsoo offers no answer, doesn’t even spare her or Baekhyun another glance. He washes his hands in silence, takes the spot next to Jongin, grabs a slice of pizza for himself and that's that. Her eyes stay on him, surprise slowly dissolving from her face.

And then Baekhyun claps, starling her.

“Shit, I almost forgot. Dessert first!”

It happens at once—a sloppy plan set in motion by Baekhyun’s insistence. Ignoring whatever he has in store, Jiah beats Chanyeol to the last slice of neapolitan while Jongdae helps Baekhyun look for something in their endless cabinets.

"The drawer by the coffee machine,” Kyungsoo mutters.

Someone must cover her eyes for this, Baekhyun insists. Jongin gives her a careful look waiting for her consent. She shrugs, pushing the last bit of crust past her greasy lips, and soon her eyes are engulfed in the warmth of his hands.

There’s the sound of hushing and Chanyeol’s poorly contained laugh, then a click.

“Ok, ready? Jongin, hands off. You can open them.”

She blinks away the flash of white and frowns at them before looking down.

Cake.

Pink frosting and strawberries. It’s decorated in terrible piping work, topped with those colorful sprinkles that taste like nothing and several thin and tall candles scattered around.

There’s a message in red jelly, off-centered.

“Sorry you got shot on your–”

Whoever wrote it miscalculated the space they had available, so the word birthday has all the letters stuck together and get increasingly smaller.

Baekhyun’s satisfied grin stays put even when he ducks as a strawberry flies over him. Jongdae yelps dramatically when another hits his shoulder, his hyena laugh is interrupted by a long string of complaints.

Jongin warns her not to eat the frosting, because Baekhyun got excited with the food coloring and it tastes like medicine.

“Did you bake this?” she bites down on a strawberry. It's just a hint of sweet but perfectly juicy, it bursts in her mouth “It’s looks like a 4 year old decorated it.”

“Ok, It’s her." Baekhyun says. "Good job, team."

“Do you think I’m some kind of impostor?”

“You have a whole new name, we had to make sure.”

“Wait, so that was your birthday?” Sehun asks, shaking his head when Jondgae offers him a paper plate with a slice of cake. Only Chanyeol seems to be interested in trying it, taking his sweet time getting rid of the frosting.

The cake itself isn’t that bad. Just the usual vanilla cake mix flavor, a little dry but easy to eat.

“No, today is her birthday.”

“Is it?” Jongin asks, scanning her face.

“Yeah. August 13th.” Baekhyun stops. “Wait, you didn’t–”

The question trails off when all she does is shove another piece of cake inside her mouth.

“I usually celebrate it in December.”

Several weirded-out looks come her way.

“Damn, that’s fucked up.” Sehun mumbles, and now he's getting looked at wrong. "What? I’m just saying, if I had two birthdays I’d celebrate both."

Jiah closes her eyes and blows on what's left of the candles. “That'd be hard to explain to other people, though. My friend Irene gets me flowers, but that’s about it."

Irene. Yeri. Taemin. How could she forget? They must be worried about her. Before she jumps down from the stool, once again Jongin answers a question before she gets to ask it.

"It's ok, I told Taemin we left together."

Jiah stares at him in disbelief. "No, it is not. He knows I don't leave parties with random dudes and--"

Jongdae makes a face. "Jongin's definitely not a random dude."

"He knows me too. He'll have fit, but he knows you're safe with me, trust me."

"But Yeri-"

"Fine. He dropped her off at her dorm."

"Where's my phone?" she asks Baekhyun.

"I'm afraid it didn't make it through the night, but--"

“Question,“ Chanyeol asks out of nowhere. "Why aren't you freaking out?"

"Excuse me?"

“Someone put a price on your head, and they’re being generous about it. But you're... worried that your friends won't believe you had a one night stand?”

“It's not my head they want.”

"Excuse me?"

Chanyeol’s lips part, a burst of surprised laughter escaping his mouth.

“Yeah. No, totally.” he frowns, nodding. “They put a hole through you just for funsies. They were just trying to start a tickle fight.”

“He could’ve easily taken me down in the bathroom, but he didn’t.” She gets different looks of disbelief.

Jongdae frowns. “You still got shot after that, and I’m pretty sure that wasn’t just a warning.”

“Those were expensive mercenaries, right? If they wanted me dead, I would be.”

“And this, everyone, is why they tell kids not to do drugs,” Chanyeol gives the room a look, pointing his hand at her “She wasn’t this delusional before.”

“Shut up and eat your pizza, Chanyeol” Kyungsoo says, much to her surprise.

Baekhyun agrees. “Yeah, don’t be a dick.”

Sehun sucks his lips inside his mouth, subtly eyeing everyone.

Jiah shakes her head. “That's fine, I’m not exactly worried about convincing you.”

“They want you dead.” Chanyeol enunciates slowly, like he’s talking to a foreigner “You were lucky we were there.”

“Probably, yeah.” She’s not gonna deny that. “I appreciate what you did."

He shakes his head at her like she’s fucking stupid.

“What? You want me to suck your dick or something?”

“Alright, this is fun.” Jongdae exhales loudly, moving away to get a glass of water, slapping Sehun’s back.

Chanyeol pushes his tongue against his cheek, nodding at her. “Right. What’s dying for you anyway, right? You’ll just pop right back up in another decade.”

Jongin doesn’t let Chanyeol’s jab sink, he turns to her in genuine curiosity. “Sorry, but can you explain where you're coming from?”

“You leaked those voicemails. Your name might not be on the story, but they know it was you.” Kyungsoo turns, stirring iced tea with a glass straw “You destroyed Lee Chungjae’s reputation right after his father announced his candidacy.”

“Im Nayeon leaked those voicemails.” she corrects him, and no one notices, but Baekhyun smiles, a spark set in his eyes. “I only did what was necessary to get them to the public. Therefore, I’m the only connection to her.”

“So what you’re saying is that you’re some– kind of medium?”

“She’s saying Nayeon is alive,” Baekhyun says, leaning over the island and looking at her with excited eyes. “That’s what you’re saying, right?”

“Yes. How did you—?”

“A week after her death her name came up, just like yours.”

“Her name came up?”

Though Baekhyun’s smile stays intact, he visibly pales, and that’s when Jiah knows she just hit a spot.

The question has without a doubt and without her meaning to, landed somewhere. Jongdae and Chanyeol share a look. Only Sehun, Jongin, and Kyungsoo are doing a decent job of keeping their faces straight.

She just knows they’re gonna have a conversation about this later, once she’s gone.

“Why would someone put a mark on a girl who’s already dead?” They visibly relax at her answering her own question. Kyungsoo just barely squints at her. He knows better.

“Shouldn’t you know that? You’re the one claiming she somehow survived that fire” Chanyeol juts his chin at her.

If she had to put a name to the look on Baekhyun’s face, it’d be all work and no play.

“There’s something I think you’ll want to see”.

081422 - 02:58 am

“You know what’s weird?” Baekhyun mutters as she hands him a photograph.

Fresh out of the printer, the girl smiling in it is Yoo Jeongyeon. She was 23 the last time she was seen last year and attended the same university Nayeon did. The only string connecting the two is a few common friends on Facebook.

Baekhyun tapes her picture next to the other seven photographs on the board. Like the rest of the room, the board’s made of glass, worn out and opaque by the constant use of tape on the surface, unlike the transparent, clean walls around them.

The station is rather impressive, she had to just stand there when she first entered and stare at the computer station sprawled before her on the only brick wall at the back.

A cluster of screens stands tall, commanded by a main, curved, and wide monitor, flanked by a couple more of them on each side. And just in case that’s not enough, an extra trio of monitors hangs above, suspended from the ceiling by sleek metallic arms that sell the illusion that they’re floating. All of them on cast a gentle light on the surrounding consoles, keyboard, touchpad, and devices she does not recognize, each meticulously organized and aligned for optimal efficiency.

Her curious eyes took it all in while Baekhyun scratched the back of his head and acted like it was just some humble setup. Honest work, he called it, still in progress. She still can’t figure out what else he can add, or how he can rearrange what’s an already pristine network of wires hidden at the back, and she’s too afraid to ask.

“None of Nayeon’s friends have posted anything about the investigation or the voicemails. That’s weird, isn’t it? If there was a possibility that your friend was murdered, you’d be outspoken about it, right? You’d want answers.”

“They could’ve been threatened” Jiah reminds him, staring up at the eight pictures on the board.

A line of girls stares back at them, all of them undergrad students, just like Nayeon. There’s a pattern in there, difficult financial situations, complicated and sometimes no familial affiliations or support network, and they’re all seriously attractive under current beauty standards.

Two of them are orphans. Two are foreign. The last one, Jeongyeon, makes an exception by keeping in touch with her mother until the time of her disappearance. Baekhyun started working on the list and gathering info with Yixing last year, and so far, every single case has turned cold. Not for a lack of investigating, she has their files, courtesy of Yixing, splayed around her.

“Still…” he mumbles, leaning his head to the side and reaching for his glass of iced coffee, looking startled when nothing but ice cubes hit his upper lip “If one of the girls at the salon were in that situation, you’d ask for the truth, threatened or not.”

Her stomach twists at the thought. She would not stop at asking for it, she’s confident that she’d turn the city upside down until she found them, but who’s doing that for these girls?

“It’s different. It’s my job.”

“Pretty sure you’ve gone past the limits of journalism.” Baekhyun tuts. “But you see it, right? There’s something here. I’m not being a conspiracy junkie.”

“I see it, yeah.”

“Have you tried talking to Nayeon’s friends?”

“I don’t think we should be focusing on her friends like that, we might not even be focusing on these girls the way we should,” she says, rushing to explain when Baekhyun opens his mouth “Don’t get me wrong, there’s a pattern, but Nayeon was– she left a message and everything, and these girls are all…”

“Silent?” Baekhyun offers.

“Yes.” she sighs, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling. “They’re all silent, it can’t be a good sign.”

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” Baekhyun says, breaking her out of her trance.

She frowns and snorts. “Did you just quote Wilde at me?”

“The Importance of Being Earnest” he smiles proudly. “Kind of out of context, but it’s true.”

She smiles at him, sighing and looking back at the board. “In my experience, most of the time the truth turns out to be boring and people end up disappointed. Everyone wants a conspiracy.”

“That’s true. But when it’s not boring–” He gives her a meaningful look, and she wonders if that’s what she looks like to other people.

“Yeah.” she agrees, he doesn’t need to finish that sentence for her to know what he means. “This doesn’t look boring at all”

“And it doesn’t look fun either, does it?” he sucks in a sharp breath. "Maybe they’re not silent, we’re just not listening the way we should.”

As it turns out, The station has no semblance of soundproofing. When someone comes in through the kitchen, they can hear the low hum of voices, the sound of keys being dropped and groans of relief as shoes are taken off at the entrance.

A few seconds later there’s a soft knock on the glass.

She doesn’t know what she expected, but it was certainly not Kim Junmyeon dressed in casual attire instead of a suit like the last time she saw him, fresh out of a syndicate debut. Now he looks more like an older brother checking on his little siblings. A dad even.

“Baekhyun, it’s 3 am. I know this is how you choose to live but she needs rest” his eyes look as tired as he sounds.

“Do you think she’s here against her will?” Baekhyun asks, offended.

He walks in, leaving the door open behind him. Jiah thinks she sees a shadow walk past through the living room, but it’s gone before she can notice anyone.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better. Thanks for the help. I appreciate it.”

He nods. “It’s what we do”

“And for the lawyer, the other day. Yixing told me” she adds. And maybe it’s the meds kicking in, or the emotional exertion of the day and having to see so many old new faces, but fatigue is beginning to weigh down on her.

“You did well,” Junmyeon says. “The girl needed help, he had it coming.”

He buries his hands inside the pockets of his jeans, pointing at the board with his chin. There’s a signature curious pout on his face. “What’s this about?”

“Don’t be nosy. We’ll explain in the morning” Baekhyun answers, fingers dancing all over his keyboard with speedy clicks. Junmyeon doesn’t look too convinced, letting out a loud sigh that makes her feel even more foreign in this place.

Do they all live here? Together? At their age? What about Minseok?

“Alright. There’ll be a lot of that in the morning.” he gives her a look she does not reciprocate. “I’m going to bed, you two should get some rest.”

He stops just as he’s about to walk out the door.

“We don’t have a guest room ready, since someone decided to use it as a storage room, so I hope you won’t mind taking Baekhyun’s bed”

“She’s getting the coziest room in this house, she doesn’t mind” Baekhyun speaks for her, standing up and leaning over her to start shutting down his monster of a station.

She catches a glimpse of Junmyeon's reflection on the dark screen that Baekhyun turns off first. He stands there for a moment, looking at them with a pensive expression before he turns around and closes the door behind him.

Some rest might be nice, she thinks, as Baekhyun starts talking her ear off again.

7:34 AM

A few hours later she’s closing his bedroom’s door behind her as quietly as she can.

The house is silent. No one can be bothered to be up so early on a Sunday, and she counts on that being the case until she figures out where her—

“Hey there. You looking for these?”

She can’t escape him, can she? A very sleepy and messy-haired Baekhyun has a hold of her boots and her bag, closing the door across from his room behind him. She gets a glimpse of someone’s sleeping form.

“I hid them, just in case you tried to sneak out,” he explains, rubbing his puffy eyes before stretching loudly. At this pace, he’s going to wake everyone.

“I need a shower” she winces at how loud her voice sounds “And I already stayed here for too long. Can I have them back?”

“Shower?“ he pretends to think over, nodding "We have plenty of those around here, I believe. Soap, towels, shampoo. You still take them at hell temperature?”

She blinks at him.

“Baekhyun.”

“Rina.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I! You can’t just leave on your own until we’re sure it’s safe for you out there, you’re not exactly in the condition to bite attackers either.”

“Am I a hostage?”

She doesn’t like the sweet little smile he gives her. “You’re a guest.”

“But you’re telling me I can’t leave.”

“We can negotiate after breakfast. Come on, I’m giving you a tour of my favorite spot.”

Thirty minutes later she’s waiting for him to pay for a ridiculous amount of overpriced breakfast sandwiches with different fillings. The cashier, a lanky guy with a bored expression on his face and ginormous red headphones swallowing up his ears puts everything inside a bag.

Baekhyun sends a cheeky smile in her direction, making sure she’s still standing by the end of the counter, shifting uncomfortably in a huge pair of slippers. The lack of socks makes the experience even worse.

“That’s a lot of food,” she points out.

“We’re feeding ten adults, I promise you it’s never too much of anything in our house” he answers, starting the engine.

“Ten adults?”

“I texted Yixing. It’s been a while since we all had a meal together. I don't remember the last time we used the dining table.”

She sighs, leaning her head against the passenger window and trying to find any familiar street.

“Slept well?”

“I’m very uncomfortable with this and I don’t appreciate you withholding my things”

“Oh-kay, someone’s grumpy in the morning.” he chuckles, leaning over the steering wheel as he takes a turn. “Consider this your punishment for trying to leave without saying goodbye. You got a deadbeat father complex or something?”

She glares at him, half-heartedly.

“Come on, it’s just breakfast with the boys. Best meal of the day, with the boys.”

“It’s not just breakfast, you know that” she mutters, closing her eyes to rest them for a second.

“Hey, it’s just us,” He surprises her by finding her wrist resting on the seat. His fingers curl around it, giving it a light tug, like a kid trying to get a grown-up’s attention “No one will jump you or anything. I know things are awkward, but they won’t have to be once we all talk and catch up, yeah?”

The red light goes green after what feels like an eternity. It takes him a second to notice, and he’s back to quietly driving them across the street, still not letting go of her wrist.

“You trust me, right?” he asks suddenly, giving her a glance.

“Seriously, out of nowhere?”

He doesn’t laugh, only turns to look at her with a serious look on his usually relaxed features. “Cause I trust you, Rin. I hope you know that.”

The fuck?

“Ok? Thanks–”

“I mean, I don’t know what you’ve been up to, obviously, or what– you know? Happened, but I know I trust you.” he nods firmly, fixing his throat and suddenly avoiding her eyes. "Whatever happened, it doesn't matter to me. I'm just happy to see you again."

She feels the sudden need to get out of the car, but her shoulder would probably combust, so she gives him the softest of nods. The feeling that it's a mediocre reply lingers.

Eventually, he lets go of her wrist.

About half an hour later, she's watching Jongdae fix a generous batch of coffee while singing his heart out to an OST only someone over 30 could recognize. He was the first to wake up, walked into the kitchen, took a look at her and immediately scolded Baekhyun for not getting her slippers closer to her size.

They belong to Chanyeol and he thinks it’s just hilarious that she walks like a duck in them.

They all come down one by one in different states of sleepiness. All Jiah can think is that life has taken a seriously strange turn, and there’s not much she can do about it other than hold on to a cup of coffee and watch in silence, hair still wet.

“How are you feeling?” Junmyeon asks once again, taking some multivitamins and eyeing a plate of fruit that Sehun tries to keep safe from Chanyeol’s prying hands, asking him for the third time if he washed his hands.

He looks like Jongdae had to drag him out of bed, bed sheet imprints leaving red lines on his left cheek, swollen eyes and messy hair. There’s even dry drool on his chin. She wants to point it out, but they're not comfortable like that with each other.

He eyes the third spoonful of sugar she drops on her coffee but keeps any comment to himself.

“We can ask Dr. Jangmi for something stronger if you need it, just let me know.”

“Alright, thanks. I appreciate that,” she says for what feels like the 20th time in the past 24 hours.

Thanks. I appreciate that. This is weird as fuck though, can we not do this?

“Huh? What's this? What’s going on here?”

There is a soft giggle at the end of Yixing’s question. He's taking his shoes off, stumbling a bit, not closing the door behind him, holding a coffee cup carrier.

“Breakfast.” Jondgae says, and Jiah suspects he made a face. Whatever that means.

“Hey,” he makes his around the island and engulfs her in a careful hug. He's warm to the touch from being outside. “How are you feeling?”

"I’m ok.” she smiles, not being able to help her lips from pouting. “My shoulder’s kind of fucked, though.”

He frowns, shakes his head slowly, hands moving up and down her good arm, leaning down to press his lips to her temple. "I know. I'm sorry. But the more rest you get, the faster you'll feel better again, so don't rush yourself."

She nods, letting her weight rest on him for just a bit, eyes fluttering open when white cotton and a head of thick black hair passes by, startling her.

Kim Minseok is putting two extra carriers next to the one Yixing left on the island top. The door is now closed, but she never heard him come in. And now he's handing people coffee.

Chanyeol thanks him a thousand times. It seems like Jongdae's coffee making skills are controversial, he nags at them about being ungrateful, but walks over to get his cup anyway.

"Oh, that's–"

Jongdae's extended hand stops abruptly at Yixing's interruption. The cup Minseok was just about to give him is now being held by both of them.

"Dirty chai. That's Rina's." he explains.

Jiah, unsure about how to proceed, stares at the cup in front of her face, neither releasing it. Jongdae drops his hand, eyes shifting between them.

Yixing blinks curiously at Minseok, whose face she's avoiding to turn to look at.

Sehun leans over and grabs a cup of his own with his ridiculously long arms.

"Are you guys gonna give it to her, or–"

HIs comment wraps it up. Yixing gives her the cup, smiling down at her and paying no mind to the tilt of Jongdae’s eyebrow or Junmyeon's side eye.

“Oh, before I forget. I told Haneul you're taking a break. He sounded worried, maybe you should give him a call?”

Right. Haneul. She’s been so distracted that she forgot about him as well. Yixing offers her his phone, but Baekhyun cuts him off and tells her to focus on breakfast while it's still warm.

Kyungsoo is the last one to take a seat at the table, lazily scrolling through his phone. There’s a pair of thick-framed glasses perched on top of his nose. He sighs at Baekhyun’s loud moan when he takes the first bite.

“Just as good as I remembered.”

The table is filled with the sound of eating and the low hum of someone's lofi playlist playing from the speakers. The moment lingers just long enough to become awkward.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I love uncomfortable silences during breakfast, I heard they’re good for digestion,”

Junmyeon stops mid-bite and gives Sehun a look.

“What? I mean she’s here now, can’t you just catch up? Ask her what happened on the third day?”

“Ok, Sehun. Just finish your sandwich.”

He rolls his eyes, pointedly taking a big bite.

“Didn’t you have something to show us?” Jongin asks helpfully. Jiah has noticed that him and Sehun stick to each other, despite being on opposite ends of several traits.

“Glad you asked,” Baekhyun claps his hands, standing up as he licks his fingers having successfully devoured his sandwich. He disappears for a bit and comes back wheeling the glass board behind him.

Yixing turns to the side in his seat, pointing at one of the pictures.

“There’s another girl?”

“Yep,” Baekhyun beams, the excited smile on his face melting immediately. He fixes his throat. “Long story short, these girls all are missing, they’re also all students, and they could be connected to Nayeon’s disappearance. We’re thinking they might help us find her.”

“Did you just say find her?”

“I did,” Baekhyun points his finger at Junmyeon, happy that he caught that “Nayeon is alive.”

Other than Sehun noisily blowing on his drink, the silence is heavy with skepticism.

“We’re keeping a positive mindset here. There is a big, big chance she didn’t die in that fire. The body they found at her apartment was declared burned beyond recognition, and Nayeon didn’t have recent dental work done on her, so they couldn't even look for a match. And before you accuse me of being delusional, Rina came to the same conclusion all on her own.”

“Is this true?”

Jiah nods at Junmyeon. “She sent her brother the recordings through a shipping company days before the fire and scheduled the delivery. He got the package in the mail exactly two weeks after the fire.”

“So she knew she was in danger.”

“Creative.” Chanyeol mutters, impressed “She found a way to let her brother know without putting him in direct danger.”

“And then he tried to end Lee Chungjae himself.” Sehun adds.

“If she went through that effort, she would’ve tried to hide, right? It was only a theory, but Lee Chungjae probably has a reason to believe this as well, and he doesn’t want any loose ends.”

Junmyeon’s face is unreadable.

“And well,” she points at her shoulder. “I think that night proved my theory.”

Yixing leans back on his chair, crossing his arms. It’s followed by a dry chuckle at the other side of the table.

“Can we just tell her?”

"Baekhyun tries to interrupt, but Chanyeol has a point to make.

"Nah, let her know, or she’ll go out there and successfully get herself killed this time just because she thinks she has backup.”

Jongdae tries as well, not without giving her a careful sideways glance that she doesn’t return, staring back at Chanyeol with just a slight narrowing of her eyes. Her lack of reaction so far has made his demeanor get a little more vicious.

“Let’s not–”

“How do you think they knew it was you, even with your editor protecting you?” Chanyeol finally asks “Your protector snitched on you, didn’t think twice before selling you out to Lee Chungjae’s team. He’s putting good money on his dad's campaign, did you not know?”

“Protector?” she blurts out, neither a question nor an affirmation. “Are you- wait, you mean Namjoon?”

She snorts.

“I mean, yes? He knew about the investigation. I let him know before it came out.”

“You’re full so of shit. It's just sad.” Chanyeol shakes his head slowly.

“Like I said before, I’m not worried about convincing you.”

“Why?” he dares.

She can't judge him for being so remarkably slow. He doesn’t trust her, he’s probably terrified of whatever he thinks she represents. Yixing didn't lie about people being wary of her.

It’s disappointing to see him handle what he thinks is a threat so poorly, but then again he always was a heart-on-his-sleeve kind of guy.

Others keep their silence and listen. Kyungsoo, even Junmyeon. Minseok's glare is impossible to ignore.

“Because sometimes being underestimated can work in your favor.” she speaks slowly like it’s a child across from her and not a man two years her senior.

The tension spikes. All these resources, a wide range of skills, a seat at the syndicate, and just a few harmless words make their mood drop.

Junmyeon leans in. “So what I'm hearing is that you put yourself at risk just to... prove a theory.”

“Of course not,” she wonders if he paid attention at all to what she said. “I hoped they’d come expecting to find Nayeon through me, so I set up a lead. It’s not about if they take it but who does. Chungjae's not doing this alone.”

“And did it work? The bait?“ Jongin sounds hopeful.

"I’m hoping it did.”

“You’re hoping it did?” Junmyeon repeats. “It’s been 48 hours, what if they realized you’re bluffing and decided you’re not useful anymore?”

“I’ve got it handled.”

“You never mentioned any of this” Baekhyun says, breaking his silence.

He has a look of disappointment on his face she wants to get rid of, and then she remembers that pale grin he gave her yesterday, like he was about to break into a cold sweat.

“I’ll let you know what I find.”

There's something happening right in front of her eyes. As much as she wishes she could trust Yixing, his explanation about them being wary about her association with Namjoon doesn't cut it.

Her eyes find Minseok's and she hopes he's better than Baekhyun at subtlety. If getting himself a seat at the table is any indication, chances are he is.

Something indeed, and she's nearly convinced that it goes against the deal he signed a few days ago.

But that's not it, isn't it? There's more to it.

He lifts his chin, just barely, it feels too much like a silent warning. It has the opposite effect he wants. The dirty chai kicks in at once.

“Frankly, I don’t think you’re in the state to be handling anything right now.” Junmyeon’s amused little chuckle kills her momentum.

“I agree,” Yixing says, much to her disappointment “Even if you’re right, it doesn’t mean you're in any less danger.”

“I know how to take care of myself."

“Do I need to remind you that just almost bled out on the way to the hospital? This is obviously getting out of your hands. I won’t have your picture next to those girls'.”

Junmyeon points at the board. He's wearing a ring on his index finger. She's surprised it fits. Maybe he had it resized.

“You can leave it to us this time, we’ll handle it.”

“I appreciate the concern, but it's not your decision to make.”

"Question," Baekhyun says, a surprisingly serious look on his face. "Would it be so bad to let us help?"

“That's not the point. I promised Im Haneul I’d see this through.”

“Wouldn't be the first time you let someone down. He'll survive.” Chanyeol coldly replies.

Her blood starts to boil. They're cornering her, and her patience has a limit.

“Alright, I don’t know what your problem is, but let’s get it over with."

A deep voice has heads turning to the right. “You know what his problem is. Don’t play dumb, it doesn’t suit you.”

If Chanyeol’s voice was venomous, Kyungsoo’s tone feels like battery acid.

Chanyeol wastes no time. “Only a handful of people survived Hwacheon's fire, how did you make it out?”

“You shouldn’t believe official records, the prison system in this country is a joke.”

“So no complex escape plan? I was expecting some prison break shit from you.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

He shakes a finger at her.

“I heard rumors, you know? About this girl that worked for Kim Namjoon. No one knew where she came from, not even back in their hometown. They said she was a witch, could sniff out a traitor from a mile away,”

Jiah has to give it to him, he sure knows how to set the mood with the storytelling.

“And then one day, she disappeared without a trace. People said he killed her after she tried to turn on them, others said someone in their circle knocked her up and he sent her away. Whatever happened, she vanished.”

“A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Avatar, an airbender named Aang." Sehun says, arm coming to rest around Jongin's shoulders. He pretends not to hear him.

“I don't know what you want me to say."

“Was it him, Hwacheon’s fire? Is that how you got out?”

To her utter disbelief, he's being serious. All she can do is open her mouth and close it, look around to see if anyone else understands how stupid that is.

Kyungsoo shrugs. “You’re not denying it.”

“No, Kyungsoo. Kim Namjoon didn’t blow up a federal facility to help me escape. I can’t believe I have to explain this to you. I didn’t even know them back then.”

“Hwacheon is just ten miles away from Songju, isn't it? Right where Namjoon’s operation started. That was you. November 10th, the prosecutor's kids, the clean up, the start of the syndicate. You were there.”

"I was." she says without hesitation, still not understanding what's the big deal.

"Why?"

"Because they helped me out. And I because wanted to."

“Well, since we all know he cashes in all his favors, I guess the big, scary question here is what did you have to do to pay off your debt after they helped you out? Was it witchery, or was it-”

“Ok,” Junmyeon interferes, putting one hand on the table. “You’re crossing the line.”

“Don’t worry, he’s not even close.” she says with a light tone, but the slight curl of her lips betrays the cutting edge behind her words.

"I just hope that if you got knocked up, you had the sense to get rid of it. Otherwise, you're an asshole for putting yourself in danger when you have a kid somewhere."

“Wow. When did he become this fucking pathetic?” she asks, genuinely curious, but they're all either too uncomfortable or embarrassed to grace her with an answer.

“Ok, I’ll translate for him.” Sehun chimes in, leaning forward with a serious expression on his face. Jongin closes his eyes and expects the worst. “What he's trying to ask is, did you engage in premarital sex with Kim Namjoon and/or any of his associates?”

Yixing drops his head. Jongin looks kind of mortified but kind of amused at Chanyeol's immediate response, shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

“That is not what I’m asking.”

“No? So you’re worried about my hypothetical kid now?”

“Ok. Chanyeol, drop it. Let’s get back on track.”

But she likes this track. She doesn't see the point in dropping it yet.

"If you’re taking the misogynistic route, at least do it right. Don’t be a half-assed piece of shit, it’s pitiful.”

“Rina.”

“I’m not finished, Suho.”

A quick oop follows.

"I get it. I know what this is about. I see you. You're still dealing with your abandonment issues, but that’s not on me."

Chanyeol's face drops.

She carries on, no remorse. "What? You think you're special because your daddy wasn't around to play ball? Give me a break."

“Jesus. Ice fucking cold.”

A sharp grating sound. He forcefully shoves his chair back.

“Hey, hey–”

“Park Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol stands up at full height and others follow. Jongdae tries to talk some sense into him. Yixing doesn’t hesitate to do the same when she mirrors Chanyeol's stance, arm extended in front of her, shaking his head.

Sehun seems to be out of little quips. Like him, Minseok remains seated, looking at the scene from the end of the table.

Poor Jongdae, he's still trying. “Sit down, man. C'mon.”

But Chanyeol's not listening, his jaw is locked in, teeth gritted together. Finger pointed at her, spit spraying in the air.

”You let us all think you were dead.“

"I had my reasons.”

She’s trying her best to not lose it against his stupid loud voice that takes up the room. Her head, her shoulder, her back, they all hurt. She should’ve left the moment she woke up, barefoot.

Chanyeol throws his arms in the air, growling.

“Your reasons? To let everyone mourn you for what? A decade. What the fuck is that about? Who does that?”

“I'm sorry, what’s the acceptable protocol for you? Enlighten me.”

“Dude, you’re seriously not asking that.” he winces, like he'd rather not look at her. “Kim Namjoon, seriously? That was your only option? You. Everything you tried to preach to us. Looking down at us, talking about better ways and shit, like you were some kind of paragon of virtue."

“Ah, fuck off. Seriously, fuck off." she repeats with closed eyes, an exhausted mantra. "Don’t selectively bring shit from the past into this."

"Was that just to make yourself feel a little less bad about, huh? About getting Yuan killed because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut?”

It feels like the air was sucked out of the room. No one was ready for that, perhaps not even Chanyeol. For a fleeting second he looks like he caught himself off guard.

Jiah lets out a shaky, hoarse little laugh, mumbling to herself. "You don't know shit. Not even now."

"You know you can repeat that all you want but that's still the truth."

“You wanna talk about the truth? The only reason I was there that night was to warn you, but you treated me like I was out of my mind. Everything I tried to tell you would happen, happened. That's the truth,"

Silence, she's not done yet.

"And then you got in that stupid car and sped down the fucking street,"

Not even near.

"You didn’t look back. You had the chance to leave it all behind and move on with your life while mine wasted in jail. But now you wanna act like I owe you an explanation?”

There's no way they remember that night as vividly as she does. Every tiny detail, the smell of shitty sewage water against her face, the weight of some asshole’s knee on her back pinning her to the street, the overlapping of people yelling in panic. Red and blue lights blinding her. Blasting sirens.

“I don't blame you. I fucked up time and time again and it’s not like you could’ve done anything to get me out of it.” she admits.

“That’s right. You fucked up and we fucked up. So you decided that was it? You couldn't reach out for help or at least contact us? Did you not think of the consequences of letting people believe you were dead?”

She can’t help the bitter smile, half of her wanting to ask Chanyeol what he knows about consequences, but he’d mistake that for her wanting to hear an answer. Ten years later it’s not something that interests her.

"Pretty much, yeah,” she replies shamelessly, after a moment of consideration.

“That easy, huh?”

“Honestly, I was miserable back then. I was a kid, I only had you, I thought I could fix it, but everything kept getting worse.” she says, and the dam has not cracked yet, but it might. Any second now. “So yeah, after the fire, when I realized I had the choice to start over, I took it. That part? That was easy, yes.”

Chanyeol blinks at her, like he's not sure he's looking at someone.

“I was very careful. Don't think this situation here happened because of me being sloppy. I never planned to see any of you again, and I was at peace with that.”

She wants to carry on but her throat feels raw, and Chanyeol’s breathing through his mouth. A couple of fat, anime-like tears spill down his cheek.

The dust has settled and it's clear that the room has shifted. Yixing was just sitting right next and now there’s some distance between them, like she’s exuding toxic fumes. Baekhyun looks like a kid with glassy eyes and a red nose. It’s too late to take back, it’s all out of her chest, too heavy to cage it back up.

“I do have a question though, why are you wearing my rings?”

Kyungsoo stands up, walking past her and stopping just to throw something on the table. The metallic rattle is enough to let her know what it is.

“They meant something,” he replies, chillingly calm. “Back when we thought you were dead.”

“But now that I think about it, I don’t think you made it out of the fire.”

#exo fanfiction #exo fanfic #exo x reader #exo scenarios #baekhyun fanfiction #minseok fanfiction #chanyeol fanfiction #yixing fanfiction #exo angst #jongin fanfiction #jongdae fanfiction #junmyeon fanfiction #kyungsoo fanfiction #sehun fanfiction

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namj00m · 1 year

Text

Exo Masterlist

All writings belong and were created by me. If you’re posting my work anywhere please be sure to either credit me or inform me that you are using my writings. Hope you enjoy!

MASTERLIST

✞ - Smut

❁ - Fluff

✄ - Angst

⚐ - One Shot

⚑ - Series

Kim Junmyeon ↳

coming soon!

Kim Minseok ↳

coming soon!

Byun Baekhyun ↳

coming soon!

Kim Jongdae ↳

coming soon!

Zhang Yixing ↳

coming soon!

Park Chanyeol ↳

coming soon!

Do Kyungsoo ↳

coming soon!

Kim Jongin ↳

coming soon!

Oh Sehun ↳

coming soon!

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yourdreamsyourwish-2 · 1 year

Text

Reaction #12: Password is related to their Ex

Baekhyun

You weren’t breaking into his computer without his permission. You had asked, to use his computer for something and he agreed. You typed in the number code quickly. Day - Month - Year…It was only after you typed in the numbers he had given you did they remind you of something. You’ve been together for three years now, and you remembered last year he had given you flowers on this day. You couldn’t remember why you remembered until he had written an anniversary card with it. The day, the flowers, and the card clicked in your mind.

His password to open up his laptop was his ex’s anniversary date. Your fingers hovered over the keys looking at the open screen, eyes on the post it note. You’ve been together for three years and he still hasn’t changed it.

“Hun? You okay?” Baekhyun called from the couch. He looked over to see your frozen face. Blinking, you gave a smile, closing the laptop quickly.

“Yeah. I just remembered, "I have something else I need to do first.” You stood up, heading to the chair to grab your jacket.

“___?”

“I’ll call you later okay?” You wave goodbye quickly running out of his apartment, allowing yourself to cry only when you get to your car.

Jongin

“I got it, don’t sweat it.” You told Jongin over the phone when you opened up his tablet. “I’ll send it right over okay.”

“Thanks, you’re the best.”

“I know I am.” You smile into the phone. Plugging into the tablet, you tried using the code he had for his phone, the same number for your birthday. It didn’t work. You tried the four digit date of your anniversary, nothing. You tried his birthday, yet still nothing. Sending a quick text about what number was his tablet, he responded just as quickly. You stared at the four digits, hands slightly shaking when you used them and it opened. You knew whose birthday that was. Your ex-friend and his girlfriend from high school. She had cheated on him, and after college you two had reconnected. It had taken up all your courage to finally ask him out on a real date, and he said yes. Taking a screenshot of the data he needed you sent it over in a text message real quick before closing the ipad. You know it shouldn’t hurt you, that he still uses his ipad everyday, typing in her number but it does. Despite being with you, you always felt he compared you to her in some way. A comparison you never have been able to stand up with.

Minseok

You were going through his mom’s calendar to try and figure out a good day for everyone to get together. You were heading to August, when you noticed a small note on July 8th. Minseok’s ex-fiance's birthday was staring up at you. 0708. You had known both of them, when they were together. You knew his family would compare you both, never to your face, but still. Sometimes when his mom looks at you, you see her eyes, maybe thinking how his ex could have done it better.

“___?” His mother called from the other room. Minseok had been helping her get lunch ready. “Yeah, I’m just looking. Minseok, do you mind if I check your phone’s calendar?” You, hoping they wouldn’t come out and see you panic.

“Go ahead.” He called out, with your hands shaking you clicked his screen on, typing in the password you had in the past so absent mindedly done. 0-7-0-8. The phone unlocked, with just a simple click, and a small tear in your own heart.

Yixing

He always called you peaches. Yixing had said the way you smelled reminded him of the fruit he loved growing up. It was a weird habit that he would relate people to food, yet he was a pastry chef, so it made sense in your mind. In fact you were trying one of his strawberry tarts. He stood behind the counter, helping customers and smiling with his chef hat. In fact you looked around to see most of the delicacies he served were strawberries. You even knew his password to get into the system was strawberry. It was a weird thing you just started noticing after running into his ex the previous month. A week ago, she had contacted you asking to meet as well. Where she made a reference to her own fruit nickname.

“I ate so many strawberries when we were together, I even have earrings with it. I guess it’s an ongoing joke, I grew up on a strawberry farm you know.”

Now you realized, everything pointed back to her. Your eyes went to the small tray of mini peach pies in the corner of the display. They were the only peaches he was selling currently, sad little treats that were still full from this morning. No one had bought any. You looked around gazing at the signs, to see if there were peaches anywhere, but in the fruit display decorations you had helped put up, there were no peaches.

“Peach?” Yixing asked, standing next to your table. “You okay?” He looked at you concerned. For a second you thought about telling him, thought about asking, but you knew the moment you did, your relationship might end. The woman he had lost, the one whose nickname decorated his life so elegantly no longer had any obstacles in her path. The only one now was you. But looking up at your boyfriend of two years, you didn’t want to let him go. He was the first one who made you feel loved, even if it seemed artificial.

“Yeah, it’s just a little too tart for me today.” You gave a smile, hoping he wouldn’t see the sadness brewing. You didn’t know how long you were going to be able to be with him, but you were going to enjoy it while it lasted.

Reaction Masterlist

Masterlist

Liked Yixing's? So did I, I got an entire one shot stuck in my head.

In The Way is out Now!

#EXO #EXO Fanfic #EXO Reactions #EXO Baekhyun #EXO Jongin #EXO Minseok #EXO Yixing #EXO Kai #EXO Xiumin #EXO Lay #Baekhyun #kai #Xiumin #Lay #Angst

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weishenbwi · 2 years

Photo

A Lesson Learned Chapter 5: The Red Room

Group: EXO (AO3 VERSION)

Pairing: Kyungsoo/Jongdae

Chapter 5: (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

Words: 6125

CW: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat (CLICK ON AO3 LINK FOR ALL TAGS & TRIGGERS)

Summary: This chapter features Jongdae’s forced feminization, dollification, and many other terrible things at Kyungsoo and Daddy’s hands. Read the tags and read at your own risk. Messages that disregard this will be ignored.

It’s Daddy that separates them, makes Baekhyun and Jongdae sit beside each other looking up. Anticipating. Naked. Vulnerable. Baekhyun is resting his head on Jongdae’s shoulder, calming his breathing and trying to latch his memory onto the only peaceful moment he imagines he’ll have tonight. Jongdae, on the other hand, is stroking Baekhyun’s hair but his eyes are on Kyungsoo who holds a camera and Kai who holds some type of recorder. The devices are a mix of newer and older models. He wonders briefly if they were stolen from some of the ones who came before.

“Kitten. Puppy. Pay attention. Daddy has some questions for you.” He can hear the camera click followed by the sound of film rolling out, capturing the moment. “Tell me a time you were happy.” Another click, the rolling sound of film.

"We were happier before... When we were… before this." Jongdae's voice trails off lost somewhere between heartache and disillusion.

Another picture. Another close-up. It seems infinite. Jongdae imagines a sea of film floating on an endless expanse of blood and carnage. Pictures of all the ones who came before and didn't make it out. Their stories frozen on Missing Persons bulletins hidden away on websites only their families check until they can no longer bear it. Unfinished stories suspended in time. He prays they aren't one of them.

Daddy strokes Kyungsoo’s hair but he doesn’t lean into it and it doesn’t seem to bother Daddy. Kai looks momentarily at the interaction and pauses before continuing filming. He knows he’s being touch starved on purpose so that he’ll crave whatever touch Daddy gives him later, gentle or violent. Kai misses the feeling of someone's hand on his body. It's times like these when Daddy doesn't let Kyungsoo or Chanyeol touch him either and he can't touch himself or Daddy will know. But with fresh meat and pretty boys at that, Kai will be loved again today. It makes the guilt of the entire fucking tragedy of taking hostages almost worth it. It's part of his training, Daddy says. To homogenize the starvation of touch and a desire for contact to the need and reward for bringing Daddy prey like Jongdae and Baekhyun.

“We were happy only a couple of hours ago before you took us.” His lips are tight, his breath calm, and the only sounds in the room are Kyungsoo’s camera clicking away and Baekhyun’s whimpering. Baekhyun nods and snuggles in closer to Jongdae.

“And are you not happy now?” Daddy asks. He blinks slowly and smiles. Like Kyungsoo, Daddy can sense that Jongdae’s cool exterior is on the precipice ready to snap or sever.

Jongdae looks up at him. He breathes in deeply and bites his bottom lip. “No, I wouldn’t say that either of us is happy right now and I think you know that.” Another click, the continuous bright flash disorienting him. Kyungsoo pauses momentarily and whispers something to Daddy which makes the left side of his mouth curl up into a half-smile. “Excellent idea Kyungsoo. I think kitten would look beautiful with some red lipstick on. Don’t you think so kitten?”

A question that remains unanswered as Chanyeol mounts him, holding his hips down- pressing Jongdae between himself and the couch. He thrusts forward, dick hard and expecting. Wanting. It scares Baekhyun who jumps up and inches away unsure of what to do to protect his friend.

Tight arms wrap around his small body pulling him in closer. “Shhh puppy. Just watch and I promise no one will get hurt. But if you try to escape, I’ll break your neck and make Jongdae here bury your dead body and then we’ll have so much fun he’ll wish we buried him with you. Do you want that for him?” Baekhyun shakes his head no mouthing a chorus of silent protests. Daddy’s arms tighten against his own, firm chest against quivering back. “Do you understand you have to obey so that kitten here doesn’t get hurt?” Baekhyun nods, can feel Daddy pulling him in so close his mouth nuzzles against Baekhyun’s neck, never minding the younger’s tears as they fall onto scarred arms that hold him in place.

“Pucker for me, kitten. I don’t want to make this messy.” Chanyeol grabs Jongdae’s face gently and paints his lips red. He takes his time. Careful precision. These are going in their collection after all, a genesis from beginning to end. The metamorphosis of innocence. There are pictures of all the boys here. Maybe he'll show kitten and puppy their before and after... if they last long enough. “Hm kitten didn’t scratch, didn’t even try to get out of my grasp. You want this too? Like puppy over there. Want me to violate you? Want to me hurt you and leave you bloody?” He pulls Jongdae’s head back, a tight grip on his hair, and smiles that charming dimpled way that might have Jongdae blushing under different circumstances. “I’d prefer if we painted your lips red with blood but Kyungsoo seems to have a thing for you so I’ll let him do that later.” He bends down, lips aligned with Jongdae’s ear. “When I’m done with puppy over there, I’d love to get some kitten scratches. Want you to put up a fight and make me hurt you.”

Jongdae holds his breath, holds in his rage and disgust. Swallows violent vows.

“These lips were meant for red! Don’t you think so puppy?” Daddy releases Baekhyun who is instantly caught and made to straddle Chanyeol whose arms rests casually against Jongdae's shoulder. “You don’t seem too bothered by it kitten. Do you love wearing lipstick? You know you look pretty in it, right? Wish you could wear it all the time and be a pretty whore for me?”

Jongdae looks up but he’s speechless. It’s embarrassing. All the hungry eyes, heat, and hormones make him want to scream. Baekhyun would have looked just as pretty with lipstick. So why not him or why not both of them? Why does Jongdae have to be singled out like this in front of these animals? He could have calmed Baekhyun or at least some of the praises would have helped soften the blow but Kyungsoo and Daddy singled him out.

“I’m not…” He shakes his head. “I…”

“Spit it out kitten. You’re not… You’re not what? You’re not pretty? You’re not mine? Hmm that’s not it is it?” Daddy is playful, knows what Jongdae's thinking but wants him to say it for the sake of humiliation.

“I’m not…”

“You’re not our whore.” Kyungsoo says, causing Jongdae and Baekhyun’s attention to turn to him, something Chanyeol seems to disagree with as he picks up Baekhyun's small body, still straddling his waist, and removes the risk for temptation. Baekhyun is Chanyeol’s and he doesn’t get to look at Kyungsoo or anyone, only Chanyeol. Jongdae wasn’t expecting him to sound like this, like cacao meeting sugarcane for the first time. “You’re beautiful Jongdae. You will be my whore for tonight and for every night. As long as I desire. You don’t have a say in this.”

“I-”

“You.”

“I... don’t have a say in this.” The bitter taste of defeat.

“Yes. And?” Kyungsoo waits.

Jongdae knows what he is according to them and how he should answer but he’s reluctant to give in. The more he gives in the less he has to leverage. But there’s no choice here. Maybe if Daddy had chosen him and not Kyungsoo, he could have circumvented. Or found a way to leverage his situation. Daddy seems playful sometimes and he makes jokes. Kyungsoo seems different. More strict. Severe. Better to obey than disobey.

There is something dark about Kyungsoo that forces Jongdae to give in. For his own sake.

It’s beginning and Daddy sits back, motioning for Kai to join him. Kai has done this many times before. He knows when the toys go to play, he is to strip down for Daddy and let Daddy touch him however he wants. And Kai wants it too. Often he will watch Kyungsoo and Chanyeol play with their toys as Daddy plays with them or as they play with each other. Sometimes he’ll make Kai watch as he plays with the toys too - but only after. Daddy always joins the others after he’s satisfied they’ve “broken in their toys”. Until then he watches. Kai knows Daddy likes to be involved. Maybe if Kai’s own parents had been involved more he wouldn’t be here.

Kyungsoo steps forward, camera still in one hand, and grabs Jongdae by the other. “Come here Jongdae. I want you to see something.” Jongdae wonders what it would be like to refuse Kyungsoo but he obeys as soon as his hand is extended. “You can speak even if you’re not spoken to. I don’t like to be the only one talking.”

“Why are you doing this?” If the worst comes tonight, he has to know why.

“Why would you ask me this question when you already know the answer?” He stops outside a door and turns to Jongdae, eyes squinting slightly and Jongdae hates that he finds him... cute.

Kyungsoo is a paradox. Undeniably cute face, small stature, not unlike Jongdae, and a voice with a seductive depth that mimics the extent of this truly fucked up situation. His youthful appearance and the way his face bunches up when he smiles caters to a deceptive playfulness that Jongdae’s sure doesn’t exist.

“You’re doing this because you can.”

“Yes.”

Jongdae can feel his heart drop to his stomach. They’re doing this because they can and that means they'll do anything they want. “Is there a chance we can… leave? I promise I don’t know the answer to this question. I’m just hoping the answer is… possible.”

Kyungsoo nods but doesn’t respond. It’s not his place to say what’s possible or isn’t. “Only Suho knows the answer to that, Jongdae, and I wouldn’t advise you to ask him.”

It’s Jongdae’s turn to nod as Kyungsoo places a key into a door that locks from the outside. He doesn’t tell Jongdae to prepare himself, only opens the door slowly revealing a room that induces Jongdae’s skin to crawl. He blinks to will it away.

He looks to Kyungsoo who remains stoic. “You already know what this room is Jongdae, don’t you?” How he can say this without a hint of emotion is beyond any normal human’s reasoning, Jongdae shudders, as a hand is placed firmly on his back urging him to step forward. Gentle. Kyungsoo’s hand is gentle on Jongdae’s back as he beckons him into the room covered from floor to ceiling in some type of clear plastic sheeting. There’s a bed at the back wall but that too is covered in heavy plastic. Every piece of furniture… nothing is left uncovered besides two pillows, a sheet, and a blanket. Every cloth, every piece of furniture is white covered by clear and he knows exactly why. It turns his stomach. The pillow has a collar attached by a chain on it. In the corner of the room is another chain. Jongdae assumes that’s where he goes if he’s been bad enough to warrant discipline but not death. These are the only two things that are not white or clear and Jongdae can tell they are meant to stand out in stark contrast to the bright sterileness of the room.

“This… can’t be. I heard him. He said you can’t make us bleed or scar us! You can’t do this!” Jongdae makes to move back into the hallway and Kyungsoo doesn’t stop him. He takes one step out of the room of horror before he’s frozen in place. If he goes back to the living room, Daddy will be there and he’ll know Jongdae disobeyed. Daddy had told Baekhyun that if he tried to escape he’d break his neck and make Jongdae bury the body, then they’d rape and torture him until he wished for death.

He can’t leave. He doesn’t want to stay.

Something about this lack of choice pulls at the despair in his stomach and makes him turn back to the room of plastic and panic. Kyungsoo the quiet man with velvet cashmere for a voice. Kyungsoo who chose him, who chose this room and sterility and death. Jongdae turns back and falls to his knees body wracked with terror and tears until he’s getting the plastic wet beneath him.

Kyungsoo moves and he’s not sure if he’s coming to punish him or for sympathy but he looks up because he needs to look at something other than the plastic that will have his blood smeared on it later. He looks up and Kyungsoo is there, smiling, and it’s gentle. It’s gentle and Jongdae finds relief. Relief in that Kyungsoo isn’t Daddy with his mutable chaos and he’s not like Chanyeol who is only chaos. He reaches up, arms signaling please but it’s met without emotion, only the feeling of cold as a vial is pressed to his cheek and a shhhh as Kyungsoo holds his head in place and collects his tears. Kyungsoo too is chaos but it’s muted not mutable. His chaos seems neutral and Jongdae considers, ragged breaths full of regret and tears filling the vial of an apathetic sadist, that maybe he's the lucky one.

“Thank you, Jongdae.”

He watches in between blurry eyes as Kyungsoo fastens the lid on the vial and puts it in a drawer, closing it gently and locking it. Two locks already. Jongdae wonders if it’s a pattern. He also wonders if he looks in the drawer how many vials will he see, wonders what his chances are of surviving this hellish nightmare. If it weren’t for the overwhelming need to look after and protect Baekhyun, he’d charge Kyungsoo right now and die without the shame that will follow him to heaven or hell. St. Peter at the gates of Heaven and Jongdae is supposed to recount this night and how he didn’t fight back because he had to save his friend. How he knew they’d violate him and he let them because if he could make this time even a fraction less tortuous for Baekhyun, he would do it. Will God forgive him? He closes his eyes and starts to pray, wishing he had his rosary or a Bible or anything to strengthen his faith and resolve. Maybe he should have gone to confession before he left. Maybe God will make it easier on them if he prays hard enough. He isn’t sure that’s how it works but he has to try. If anything God will read his heart and understand whatever follows, whatever Jongdae is made to do, it's to save his best friend.

“Head, Lips, and Heart. So you’re Catholic?”

Jongdae nods and sends his prayers up to whoever might be listening. “Yes. I am.”

“Hm. Well, I will tell you when to stand, sit, kneel, and respond. Not your god.” Kyungsoo is a creature of habit but tonight he will try new things with his new toy and with this knowledge comes a new way of bringing out something wicked in Jongdae, something to make him fight back and regret it. For now, Kyungsoo will continue to blur the line between himself and Jongdae as equal and inferior. “Come here Jongdae. Come to your new god.” And there it is. He sees the flicker in Jongdae’s eyes, the anger and bile rise as he stands up and obeys.

“I need you to get dressed and then stand still. Cover your eyes. Don’t peek.” He can hear Kyungsoo taking things out of the closet, the drawers, notices a calming earthy scent diffusing in the room. It’s pleasant. It makes him breathe a little more peacefully. Maybe Kyungsoo will go easier on him. Maybe the room is just a precaution in case it gets messy, not because it will get messy. Jongdae feels Kyungsoo’s hands on his own as he’s made to open his eyes.

He takes a few tentative steps back. “You can't be serious... I’m not wearing that. I can't..."

“Oh no? You will either wear it willingly or smeared with your blood. Choice is yours.” His voice is flat as he holds out the dress as if an offering.

“Please. Look we can leave and I promise on my faith that we won’t tell anyone about you or this place. Just let us go. You don’t need us. You don’t need me.” Desperation personified. His plea hangs heavy in the stale air.

“I do need you, Jongdae. I need you to put on that dress.” The dollification is meant to break people down but Kyungsoo would be remiss if he didn’t admit the swell of his member against fitted slacks with just the thought of Jongdae dolled up in such a petite and fragile dress. “If you refuse I will make it worse.” He stares Jongdae down and Jongdae stares back, neither budging until Kyungsoo tells him to sit. That, Jongdae can do. Kyungsoo doesn’t even tell him to close his eyes this time, just turns his back and starts gathering things and yes this is definitely worse. Sooo. Much. Worse. OH GOD.

“Wait! No, I’m sorry. I’ll wear the dress. I’ll twirl in the dress! Just please. Not this. Not ALL of this. It’s too much. I can’t!” He’s up now, without permission, hands gripping on Kyungsoo’s arm begging him to stop. Kyungsoo turns his head back to Jongdae so fast the older flinches without Kyungsoo even raising an arm or hand to him. It makes the younger smile like Jongdae brought him freshly baked cookies instead of the twisted pleasure of arousing fear. Yes. Like that.

“Take your clothes off Jongdae.”

“No. Wait. Please. Please Kyungsoo wait. I-”

“Take It Off!” The change is sudden. From calm to I’ll slit your throat and leave you to rot in your own blood. Jongdae’s scared and doesn’t hesitate now to take off his shirt, a shiver running down his spine as tears fall down his pretty face. Kyungsoo considers collecting these tears but there will be more tears later and plenty of opportunities to fill an entire vial. For now, he sets down all the beautiful pieces Jongdae will wear. He lays them out orderly. After all, he’ll command his little kitten one by one to put everything on, a polaroid at each juncture.

Kyungsoo will show him later when he’s a broken and sobbing mess. Or just when he's feeling confident enough to survive here.

Jongdae is crying again. It's the most he's cried in years. He's trying to compose himself because this isn't like him, but he can't help it and the tears keep falling and he wonders how Baekhyun is doing. If Jongdae is this affected by the quiet Kyungsoo, how is Baekhyun being treated by the rabid Chanyeol? He hopes and prays with everything that Baekhyun is luckier than he is, that he doesn’t have to dress like a hybrid between the gender he doesn’t identify with and as a pet.

“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t make me yell like that. You have to at least try to listen.”

“I-m sorry Kyungsoo. I…”

“You should have listened at the beginning. You made it harder. I could be a lot worse. Like Daddy or Chanyeol.” He takes a small step forward before turning around to face the drawer of vials, sighing in a small plea for Jongdae to consider the alternative. “Jongdae, Chanyeol is already fucking Baekhyun in there and I haven’t even touched you. All I’m asking you to do is put on more clothes.”

He’s right. Jongdae hasn’t been touched yet, hasn’t been kissed. The worst that’s happened with Kyungsoo is collecting tears and being told to wear cute clothes. Is he blowing this out of proportion? Is it really not a big deal?

“I’m trying here Jongdae. You have to help me help you.” He stops straightening the clothes and looks at Jongdae, can see the doubt and questioning in his eyes. He continues. “I can’t do it alone, you know? I’m attracted to you and I think you’ll look beautiful in these clothes and with this kitten tail, you on all fours. But it has to feel good for you too.”

Kyungsoo has Jongdae speechless again. It has to feel good for him too? He wants Jongdae to feel good? “I’ll help you. I will. And I’m sorry. I just never imagined… and now… All of this is overwhelming. I can’t even form all of my thoughts in complete sentences. I am really sorry though. I know you’re trying.”

“I am. I put a lot of effort into this room, into selecting the clothes, even the lipstick. I tried to find a universally flattering color and I think I did a good job. It looks beautiful on you.” Jongdae sees Kyungsoo blush and looks away. He should not think this kidnapper is cute but physically he is and physically Jongdae feels sick to his stomach.

“Will you… come here Jongdae. Look in the mirror. Don’t you think it’s flattering?”

Jongdae stands beside Kyungsoo who positions him in front of the mirror and he examines them both, two boys who could have gone to the same school or met up somewhere, become friends. Yet the situation is completely different. Kyungsoo must be about his age but they couldn't be any more different. Jongdae is a devout Catholic who only wanted to spend a vacation with his childhood best friend. And Kyungsoo is part of a dysfunctional "family" where they kidnap, rape, and murder people. Where Jongdae is exceedingly generous, Kyungsoo is exceedingly cruel. In another life, they could have all been friends. In this life, he and Baekhyun are captives of Kyungsoo and his family whose every intention is to harm and defile. He tells himself to remember that reality amid this confusion and Kyungsoo's words of persuasion.

“Don’t you think you’re beautiful?” Kyungsoo is behind him now, hands pressed firmly on his shoulders. He looks in the mirror and he's not sure if he's beautiful, doesn't know how to judge that from the perspective of his first time cross-dressing, and doing so against his will, so he doesn't answer. He does think it's as universally flattering as Kyungsoo said and something about the effort it takes to find a shade that would look good on everyone asserts a thing highlighted and underlined that Jongdae doesn't quite understand. "Look closer." He moves in closer, careful not to touch anything without asking, leans in. “I think you’re beautiful Jongdae and I know you think it’s weird but I think you’ll look even more beautiful with that white dress on.”

He turns to face Kyungsoo, with his deep voice and dark aesthetic. His calm demeanor and honesty about everything Jongdae has asked. The way he doesn’t call them kitten or puppy so much as Jongdae and Baekhyun. The way he seems to see him as a real person and not solely an object or as Daddy had said, “a toy”.

“Do you want to put them on only for me? Suho usually gives us an hour or so before he comes in. He might even be with Chanyeol and Baekhyun now.”

“I’d like that.” Jongdae wants to kick himself for letting his guard down but he doesn’t know how long they’ll be here and he would rather not keep his adrenaline up and his nerves on edge the entire time if he can help it. And maybe he’s weak for this but when the words “flattering” and “beautiful” came out of Kyungsoo’s cashmere voice, he all but melted into it.

“I want you to strip slowly for me, Jongdae.”

Strip slowly on heavy plastic in what’s basically a kill room... He tries not to think about it. Just think about getting out of here and Kyungsoo’s voice and his smile, the way his cheeks bunch up, and not the way he’s some deranged kidnapping, cannibalistic serial killer. He inhales and starts, slowly, with the first piece of clothing that seems to make him the least vulnerable.

“Wait... I'll do it.” He needs to touch those legs, needs to sink his teeth in that flesh. Jongdae is already becoming more pliant under his gaze. The first night and he's already become so willing. The thought awakens something in Kyungsoo but he can't pass up this opportunity. Jongdae shakes his head yes as if consent is necessary and Kyungsoo obliges but given that Jongdae said no, he wouldn’t have denied himself the need to touch and bite and take. Not when his legs and ass look like this. No, Kyungsoo needs his hands and mouth on Jongdae now.

And he takes. Kyungsoo takes and he doesn’t let Jongdae adjust to the feeling of his hands groping his ass, rubbing his face along his thighs, and inhaling Jongdae’s natural scent, sweat, and fear. Doesn’t let Jongdae adjust to his hands moving to explore and squeeze, bite and bruise.

“Fuck Jongdae. I could devour you right here. The plastic would take care of everything." If he could devour Jongdae's flesh between his teeth and have him reanimate, he'd do it in a heartbeat. For now, he'll bite leaving teeth marks, grab and squeeze tight making Jongdae cry out. Kyungsoo wants it to hurt. It's Jongdae's first night and he needs to remember it. He reaches to his back pocket and pulls out a black knife, newly sharpened. A gift from Chanyeol on a recent birthday. Jongdae's eyes widen and he starts crying. Kyungsoo wouldn't have imagined this one would cry so much but he's not complaining. He cries beautifully. His sad, soft whimpers and mewling. The perfect captive. "Yes, Jongdae. Cry for me.” He stands up and cradles Jongdae’s head in his hands. “I’m going to keep you forever and fuck you every night.” The image of Jongdae’s ass in the air and Kyungsoo’s face buried in it, directing orders to Chanyeol that he has to follow because Junmyeon demands it and Chanyeol can’t say no. Making Chanyeol eat Jongdae out while he fucks into Baekhyun. Chanyeol torn between having his toy played with and playing with a new toy. His primal instinct to possess. “I can’t wait to fuck you, Jongdae. You cry so pretty for me.” He buries his face between Jongdae’s legs and laps at his crotch, scratching his tongue on the fabric as he holds his knife to Jongdae's femoral artery, squeezing his thighs just to bruise.

Suddenly Kyungsoo stops. “It’s not fun when you don’t fight back.”

Daddy hates boring guests. He wipes his tears and shoves Kyungsoo off of him, opts to run for the door but thinks twice before opening it. Good boy. It’s a game between himself and Kyungsoo. Opening the door and running out would only invite trouble and he has enough of that in the room here. Kyungsoo is on the other side, legs positioned to run in either direction Jongdae chooses. It’s not a big room and there aren’t many options so he runs straight for the closet and almost makes it to shut the door before Kyungsoo is on him, one arm wrapped around his neck and another around his chest, dragging him back to the bed. He’s kicking and flailing but it’s no good. The Butcher must have too much practice and Jongdae doesn’t have the strength. Not usually and not now. But it’s not like he knew he’d be in a situation where he’s fighting for his life against some psychopath. Kyungsoo seems to know many different positions to obtain and detain, making it impossible for Jongdae to get out of his grasp.

“Aw, you got the party started without me, Soo? I hope he gave you a run of it.”

Jongdae manages a look to the side as Daddy and Kai enter the room. He notices Kai is bruised and he’s been crying.

“YOU. You did this!” He manages through the tightness of Kyungsoo’s arms around his neck and chest. “You’re responsible for all of this madness. What is wrong with you?!”

“Oh, kitten. Many things. But it won’t save you to know. You’re fucked either way. Although as I see you with your original clothes on, you haven’t been fucked by Kyungsoo just yet.” He turns his attention to Kyungsoo who is smirking from the struggling body under his strength. “And why the fuck not? And also why the fuck does he have his clothes BACK ON?! Chanyeol has abused Baekhyun countless times tonight. At least you made him cry. It’s almost the least you can do.”

“I like to take my time, Daddy. You’ll see when I take his pants off how much attention I gave him. Trust me, he’s been abused.” Kyungsoo starts to unbutton Jongdae’s pants when he starts inching back, not sure if he should fight now or not. It takes one look from Kyungsoo to know that no, now is not the time to fight him. It’s time to listen and obey. His pants are slid off, thighs squeezed along the way. When his pants come off, he sees what being left alone with quiet and “gentle” Kyungsoo does to him. His skin is littered with red marks, bites, and coloring that will turn into dark bruises. He’s made to stand up and show Daddy all the marks Kyungsoo gave him. Kyungsoo lies and tells Daddy that he was saving the best part of the abuse for Daddy, to get him riled up for his baby Nini. Jongdae notices that Daddy believes it without question.

“Nice work, son. I really shouldn’t doubt you. Now kitten is your toy so I’ll let you decide who you want to doll him up. You, me, or our Kai bear?”

Jongdae barely manages to stand, pressed against Kyungsoo, whose arms clutch around his chest and neck. No one asked him what he wanted, who he would rather have touch him. It doesn’t matter. Jongdae doesn’t matter. He wants to speak up and ask if he’s really good right now and obeys everything if he can spend the night with Baekhyun. But he knows the answer before it leaves his mind.

“Kai can put the dress and kitten ears on him, but I’ll do the collar and the plug. He's mine to claim.”

Daddy nods in acknowledgment. “Then it's settled. Although by the look of it, you might fuck him before you put the plug in. I imagine he’ll look delicious once he’s dolled up with a retouch of that lipstick.” Daddy can’t wait for Jongdae to smear that lipstick all over his dick or to watch the tears run down his face as Daddy abuses him again and again. Seeing his little kitten like this with less fire and more confusion, the fatigue and exhaustion of the night already taking hold makes his dick press against his pants, hard and leaking. If Kai weren't on his way to doll up Jongdae, he'd have him bouncing in his lap to stave off some of this hunger. He grabs Kyungsoo instead, his small body bouncing on his dick while Kai goes to play with the toy. All of his sons are, after all, cockwarmers.

Kai stands in front of Jongdae, tears still present in his eyes, and takes off his boxers. This time he doesn't fight back. He doesn't make it easier for Kai either, makes him struggle to get his boxers off. He will not cooperate fully with these assholes. The fire in his stomach is raging again but it’s short-lived because as he stands there in that bright red lipstick, naked, and defenseless, the most he’s ever been exposed, he realizes that to everyone in that room, he is just a whore. A cockwarmer like Kyungsoo is to Daddy now.

“Lift up your arms Jongdae. The sooner you do this, the sooner you can rest. From someone that’s been where you are, you’ll need it.” Kai sounds tired and it’s no wonder. Whatever Daddy did to him between the time he left with Kyungsoo to this room and the time they entered, drained Kai of what made him human. Is this how Daddy turns boys and men into soldiers? Is this how Daddy turned Kyungsoo into someone who collects vials of tears, someone who kills people and skins them, leaving their hides out to dry in the sun? Jongdae hopes that won’t happen to him or Baekhyun. He can't let it happen to them. He won't.

But he's tired and he says he won't yet he's not even stopping Kai from undressing him as the others watch.

Kyungsoo's hands are resting over Daddy's own and he's allowing Daddy to get off using his body, moaning along as if enjoying every thrust, but his eyes are focused on the vulnerability of his prey's naked form. His prey who's acting on autopilot now, afraid to break eye contact with his predator as he lifts his arms for Kai to dress him in the delicate fabric that will soon tear and stain red under rough hands that deny all protests.

Kai brushes out a wig, the same color as Jongdae's hair, and puts the kitten ears over it. He gets a little closer and whispers “sorry” when Jongdae has tears in his eyes again. He can tell Jongdae has cried a lot his first night, coughing and straining many times over, the evident signs of red eyes and petechiae. He'll have to get used to it, learn to accept it, because it won't change. Nothing ever changes. He hopes he'll get the chance to impart this wisdom to Jongdae. He deserves to know. Kai wishes someone had told him, wishes he didn't have to find out the hard way. He's not even sure why he still cries. Maybe some part deep inside refuses to accept this wisdom. It makes him feel inferior because it's clear that both Chanyeol and Kyungsoo have accepted their reality and made the most of it. Or maybe they're more like Daddy than he'll ever be. He's not sure where Jongdae resides on this list but he knows without a doubt that Baekhyun is not cut out for this life. He's almost glad that Chanyeol chose Baekhyun. It'll be easier that way. He wouldn't survive Kyungsoo. Kai's not sure if Jongdae will either.

He finishes the touch-up of red lipstick over pretty lips and then Jongdae's made to twirl and twirl until he gets dizzy, until he falls and hits his head. It doesn't matter because he’s made to get up and kiss Daddy, kiss Kyungsoo, and kiss Kai. Someone rubs the blood from his head onto his mouth and he's made to suck his blood off someone's finger but he can't remember who. He's dizzy but he's made to bend down and show his ass, spread his cheeks. Kyungsoo is playing with him but he can't feel it. Then someone else whose hands are colder is touching him and he only knows because he has goosebumps and he thinks that's why but he can't be sure. Then Kyungsoo is in front of him and he’s being collared. Jongdae’s in a daze but he knows he’s being collared, made to move around on all fours behind Kyungsoo as he tugs on the leash. Someone fucks him from behind, leash pulled tight against his throat and he can't breathe. Daddy’s clapping and Kai is stoic again. He thinks he sees Baekhyun and he's crying too but he can’t be sure because the tears are coming and his vision is blurry.

He looks up again and no one is there, just Kyungsoo. He’s saying something but Jongdae can’t hear him. He’s being slapped and it doesn’t help. He doesn’t know what Kyungsoo is saying and he’s crying again and he only knows because the tears hit the plastic and reflect off the light. Kyungsoo is shaking him and he doesn’t know why. Then he’s being kicked but he can’t feel anything and he doesn’t know who. He still doesn't know why. He sees Kyungsoo laughing and taking pictures but he doesn’t hear him nor the sound of the film rolling. He sees Kyungsoo with his vial again and he's caressing his face. Jongdae thinks he leans into it but he can't be sure. He can't be sure of anything.

Then his vision fades- his small tired body abandoned in a white silk dress, ripped and bloody from abuse. A sleeping beauty. Shallow breaths escape against heavy plastic, the transparency stained with droplets of crimson and cream and somehow there’s blood and more blood until there’s only black.

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kjms · 8 months

Text

𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊

GUARDIAN — in a world where guardians remained concealed from human eyes, minseok found himself at the heart of a cosmic shift when you, a reluctant demon, were forced to follow the new rules of the astral realm, which led to you coming in direct contact with your human. but, you weren't the only one with powers; minseok had somehow managed to chip away at your icy demeanour with ease. (ONESHOT, GUARDIAN AU, FLUFF)

𝐃𝐎𝐇 𝐊𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐎𝐎

MASK — in the intricate dance of a friends-with-benefits arrangement, you and kyungsoo’s connection began as a wordless symphony of passion. however, once emotions started brewing beneath the surface, you knew that you could not come out of this relationship unscathed. (SERIES: IN PROGRESS, FWB TO LOVERS, ANGST)

#minseok x reader #minseok fluff #minseok fanfic #xiumin x reader #xiumin fluff #xiumin fanfic #kyungsoo x reader #kyungsoo angst #kyungsoo fanfic #d.o. x reader #d.o. angst #d.o. fanfic #exo x reader #exo fluff #exo angst #exo fanfic

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jazzaiko · 1 year

Photo

A Moving Day (962 words)

Pairing: Xiumin/Chen Rating: General Tags: high school AU, angst, major character death, songfic

Written for Tinysparks

archiveofourown.org/works/23876905

#xiuchen #high school au #angst #major character death #songfic #jazzaikofics #exo fics #exo fiction #jongdae #minseok

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honeyhotteoks · 3 months

Text

this night together - chapter fourteen (j.yh + s.mg)

chapter fourteen: what we mean to each other

chapter summary: making amends is hard, moving on is hard, but you have a home now in a way you've never had before. together, you move forward through it all.

warnings/notes: this chapter still deals with the aftermath of the attack, so all previous warnings apply, but i think you'll see we're coming out of it now and into much happier times. this is the start of an absolute fluff fest, and we'll be back to smut in the next chapter. specific warnings for: discussions of physical attack, anxiety, ptsd, consent conversations, past s*xual assault (mentioned in passing), issues with police and the legal system because lbr the cops aren't doing anything good for assault victims, and reader has a triggering moment with her neck but she works through it just fine

pairings: alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x omega!reader

genre: smut, a/b/o/omegaverse, angst, fluff, romance, polyamory

word count: 14.3k

previous chapter | next chapter | AO3

It’s been days. Days of staying safe behind the walls of their apartment, days of dodging calls from your friends, days of cocooned self preservation. They haven’t left you for a single minute. You spent the weekend trading off who’s lap you were cuddled on and bickering over episodes of Single’s Inferno and you’ve never needed anything more.

Slowly though, things start to shift.

You’re showered, for one. And Yunho and Mingi both have settled back into their routines as best they can without leaving the apartment. Video games, mindless scrolling, paging through books and cooking balanced meals instead of another day of takeout.

On Monday, Seonghwa confirms your worst suspicions by texting you a photo of the formal letter he received via Minseok’s attorney. You expect Yunho and Mingi’s are in the mail. Every time your phone chimes you expect it to be the police or some other official legal summons. Your mind has started to turn over every detail of the event with calculated detail, and your internet history stretches long with research.

By Tuesday, you’ve caved and finally started answering Wooyoung’s texts with more than just single word responses or emoji confirmations that you’re still alive. The moment you do, he takes the opening and runs with it just like you knew he would.

As you wait for the hot water for your tea to boil in the kettle, you re-read his most recent text again.

Do you want to get out of the house for a bit? We can try that new spot by the bookstore?

Your stomach feels tight at the idea of going out and you do your best to tap out a reply that you think sounds casual and relaxed - Maybe next time, let’s just catch up and relax here?

You watch the message send and deliver and in nearly real-time it flicks over to read. Dots appear as he types.

Sure - his message reads - I’ll be there in an hour

An hour. You shouldn’t be so nervous to see your best friend, but the idea of opening up your little sanctuary to anyone right now feels a little fraught. The kettle whistles, and you hear feet shuffling against the vinyl flooring as Yunho crosses over into the kitchen and you lock your phone and Wooyoung’s messages away so you can focus.

“Hey,” You murmur, giving him a smile as you pull the kettle off the heat.

“Hey,” Yunho smiles back, leaning against the opposite counter, “everything okay?”

“Mhm,” You tell him, just a little white lie.

“Is Woo still coming by?” He questions.

“Yeah,” You nod, setting the kettle on a pad so it doesn’t damage the countertop, “he said around an hour,”

Yunho nods and then slides a bit closer to you, his hand stroking up and down your back once until he settles it on your hip. “Hey,” he says again, “can we talk?”

A nervous pang strikes in your gut, but he doesn’t look upset, so you take a guess at what he wants, “Is it okay that he’s coming?”

“Wooyoung?” His brows draw together, “Of course, that’s not what I meant,”

“Oh,” You turn towards him more fully, leaning against the counter with him, “okay, what’s up?”

“I want to apologize,” He says, swallowing tightly.

“Apologize,” You blink.

He nods.

“Okay,” You can see how whatever he’s about to say is bothering him, the stress under the surface, but you have no idea what he’s sorry for.

“Listen,” He reaches and takes your hand, pulling you a little closer to him, “I know you know I’m sorry, but I haven’t said it clearly and you deserve that,”

“Oh,” You relax further into his space until you can feel your bodies brushing together, the warmth radiating off his skin.

“The way I reacted at the studio after your last heat was wrong,” He says in a rush of air as he laces your hands together, “and I haven’t gotten the chance to really say that,”

“It’s okay,” You shake your head, soothing him a little, “you don’t have to,”

“No,” He insists with a squeeze of your fingers, “I do. That day, I was worried and jealous and confused, but I let my anger get the better of me and that’s not something I normally do.”

You squeeze his fingers back, letting him know you’re listening.

His eyes flick up from your joined hands to your eyes as he continues, “It’s not something I should have ever put on you or something you should ever see,”

“People get angry,” You start to say.

He’s firm when he shakes his head, “People get angry, but I don’t get angry at you. Ever.”

“Yunho,”

“I yelled at you,” He squeezes your hands, “I cursed at you,”

“I did the same thing right back,” You remind him.

“It’s not the same,” He presses, brushing right past your words, “and I’m apologizing because I’m telling you, y/n, it will never happen again.”

“You think we’ll never have a fight?” You smile, “That’s optimistic,”

“This isn’t a joke,” He sighs, “please,”

“I’m sorry,” You tuck closer to him, unlacing your hands so you can snake your arms around his middle, “and I appreciate you apologizing for that fight, but I was upset you were being possessive and emotional after all the cold shoulder, you yelling wasn’t really high on my list of concerns,”

He’s quiet for a moment, but then he nods, “I’ll get to that in a second, but will you hear me on this one thing?”

“I’m listening,”

“I hate to bring it up again,” He grimaces a little, “but I’ve just spent four days watching you jump at every noise around the apartment and wake up every night fucking terrified,”

Your eyes shoot down.

“And before I apologize for all the other ways I’ve been an ass to you,” His warm hands settle on your skin, thumb brushing along your jaw, “of which I know there are many,”

You smile at that.

“Yelling at you like that,” He sighs, “talking to you like that has been bothering me for months. I need to apologize for it because I need you to know that you’ll never, ever hear it again. Mingi said his peace, but it’s important to me that you know you’re safe with me in every way. If we’re going to do this, I need you to know you can tell me anything, including telling me off when I make mistakes, and I won’t get angry like that again.”

“I already know that,” You look up, meeting his firm gaze and reaching for his cheek, “and I hope you understand that I know the difference between how you were angry then and what he did and how he spoke to me.”

“I just had to say it,” He nods, “I would hate it if anything I ever did made you afraid to be honest with me, or made you feel like you’ve been feeling the past few days, I’d never,”

“Baby,” You cup his cheeks in both hands, holding his eyes so he hears you fully, “I forgive you, and I am not afraid or uncomfortable with you or with Mingi. Not at all.”

“Good,” He exhales hard, his eyes a little shiny and you press forward to wrap your arms around him and hug him close, his arms closing around your back.

“If you’re being idiots,” You kiss his chest through the thin fabric of his t-shirt, “I’ll tell you you’re being idiots,”

He laughs low, the vibration running through your chest, “Good.”

“And if I’m being an idiot,” You add, “I’m not going to freak out if you get pissed at me or yell at me,”

“I appreciate that,” He squeezes your shoulders, “but I don’t want to be the guy that yells, that’s not really an alpha stereotype I’ve ever wanted to fit.”

“Okay,” You nod against him.

He clears his throat a little roughly and you’re about to pull away but he holds you steady for a moment, “There’s one more thing,”

Your hand strokes a line down his back, as you hum softly, “Hmm?”

“I have more to say and to apologize for,” You can feel his heart beating a little faster under your cheek and you stroke his back again, “but I’m still figuring out how to do that, and it might not be fair of me to ask, but I wanted to see if you can be patient with me for that.”

“Yunho,” You murmur, “what’s going on?”

“I, uh,” His fingers flex tightly against your skin, “I started seeing someone,”

“Someone?”

“Professionally,” He adds, “Mingi used to and I know it helped. I didn’t think I needed to, but I think we can both agree I am not the best at managing my own emotions here,”

“Oh,”

“So,” He breathes, “after our fight, when I finally cooled off and realized what we did I asked him for a referral. I’ve been meeting with her once a week and it’s been helpful, but I’m not ready to apologize to you for the rest of it until I understand why I treated you like that,”

Emotion fills your chest like a balloon and you nod into him, “Yunho,”

He clears his throat again, “Sorry,” he says, “this is a little uncomfortable for me to talk about, but I’m working on it,”

You wriggle out of his arms to find his face again and press up on your tiptoes to catch his mouth, kissing him with as much surety as you can before you lean back, “That means everything to me,” you tell him, “everything. You have all the time in the world from me, okay?”

“Yeah,” He smiles, “good, okay,”

“Is it helping?”

“Definitely,” He nods, “it’s almost like the professionals know what they’re talking about,”

You smile up at him.

“I know I mentioned it before,” He adds quickly, “and I won’t press it, but if you do feel like it would be helpful for you too, you can come to me and I can ask my therapist for some numbers for you to call. I’ll even help set up an appointment if you need that,”

Your chest goes tight at the thought, “I’ll let you know,”

“Okay,” He smooths a hand up and down your back, “no pressure,”

“For sure,” You manage.

His lip quirks up and he presses a long kiss to your forehead as he gives you one more squeeze, “I said I won’t press, don’t panic,”

“Sorry,” You breathe.

He makes a noise dismissing that and then steps back, “So,” his eyes are bright again, everything equalizing back to normal with his smile, “you were making tea, can I help?”

Your shoulders relax, tension bleeding out of you in an instant, “No,” you turn back to the warm kettle, “but can I make you a cup?”

“Sure,” He pulls two teacups down from the cupboard, “so Woo will be here in an hour?”

“Mhm,” You tap your phone to light up the screen to check for any other texts.

“Got it,” He nods, “would you feel alright with Mingi and I stepping out for a while?”

“Out?”

“I need to run by the studio and check in on things,” He explains, “and we need to get some food in here. I figured we could do that while Wooyoung keeps you company,”

“Yeah,” Your heart picks up a little at the thought, but you press that feeling down and drop a teabag in each of your cups, “I’ll be just fine,”

“Good,” He drops another kiss to your hair, keeping his fingers lingering on your skin while you pour hot water into your cups.

“Do you,” You almost stop the question, but you find the words bubbling out of your mouth before you can second guess, “do you need to leave right away?”

Yunho smiles wide, taking the kettle from your hands as he shakes his head, “No,”

Your heart eases a little.

“Let’s have these together,” He nods to the tea and picks up both cups, “we’ll go when Woo gets here,”

You follow him out into the living room, and he sets the cups down on the table before settling himself into the corner cushions and reaching up for you. It’s easy to take his hand and to melt into the familiar position on his lap, and you let him draw you in close and cuddle you, his arms wrapped securely around you as he nuzzles your cheek with his nose.

You sigh, resting your hands on his chest and turning your face a little to catch his mouth in a kiss.

He hums pleasantly against your mouth, “Is it strange to say that I’ll miss you while we’re out?”

You smile, shaking your head, “No,”

“Will you miss us?” He pecks your lips again.

“More than I want to admit,”

“You know,” Yunho smooths his hands over your body to rest in their familiar homes, one on your thigh and the other curled around your waist, “I hate what happened, and I wish I could take all the bad memories away, but I’m also so glad you’re here with us,”

“I know what you mean,” You nod.

“The months we spent apart were terrible,” He confesses, kissing you softly.

“We’ll have to make up for lost time,” You agree quietly.

“A proper date,” He smiles, “or a vacation somewhere warm?”

“Mm,” You hum, thinking of being stretched out on a beach somewhere with your boys on either side of you, “perfect,”

“I’ll think on that,” He runs a hand down your hair and relaxes back into the couch, “you deserve something nice,”

Twisting on his lap you reach for both of your teacups before settling back into the same, comfortable position, “I think it would just be nice to come over here without having something traumatic happen beforehand,”

He frowns a little.

“I’m kidding,” You nudge him softly, “kind of,”

“I know,” He nods, “still,”

“Yeah,” You quietly agree, taking the first sip of your tea.

Yunho takes a sip too, and then hums a short, quick laugh, “This smells like you,”

“Like me?”

“The tea,” He takes another sip and nods, “you smell just the same, but sweeter,”

“Do you like it?” You find yourself asking.

Yunho’s head cocks slightly to the side, a line between his brows, and then he says, “Have I not made it clear how much I love your scent?”

Your cheeks heat and he smiles at the way your skin reddens.

“Sweetheart,” He shifts, pulling you in while still being careful of the tea, pressing warm, lingering kisses over your jaw to the hollow of your ear, “if I could drink you instead, I would.”

You swallow, heat curling in your belly.

“Soothing tea,” He murmurs, “sweet honey,” he adds with a kiss, “and the willow is sharp and fresh. You wake me up and calm me down all at the same time,”

Your pulse quickens, and slowly your head drops to the side, extending the column of your neck to his lips.

He takes it slow, remembering the way you jerked back in bed a few nights before, and he’s careful not to press too firmly or give you any inclination that he’s going to touch you with anything but his lips.

“You smell like home,” He murmurs, his hand coming up to cup your head in his wide palm, kissing just a little lower still.

Your muscles are stiffening up at the feeling of his mouth getting lower towards your exposed gland and your fingers tighten on his shirt where you hold yourself steady.

“I’ve got you,” He whispers, “stay with me,”

You nod, just a little, enough to tell him not to stop, “W-what else?”

He smiles against your throat, “Well,” he kisses again, to punctuate his words, “when you’re happy, really happy or excited, there’s lemon too,”

Your breath feels staggered, thready, and you focus on the feeling of him and the warmth of the teacups against your thigh.

“When you want us,” He takes a deep inhale, sighing hot against your skin, “it’s all honey, thick and syrupy. After your heat I smelled that honey here for weeks,”

You feel a whine building a little in your throat, and you bite down on your lip to keep it buried. Your body feels like it’s fighting itself with every touch of his mouth, hot arousal knots up at his scent mingling with yours and at his words, but the isolated touch alone has you fighting little flashes of a place that isn’t here and isn’t him.

“I’ve got you,” He repeats, “I love you,”

The reply settles on the tip of your tongue, but then he presses one last closed-lipped kiss directly over your gland and withdrawals entirely. You blink hard, a shudder running up your spine.

“Alright?” He checks, smoothing his hand down your hair again.

You nod, letting your fingers unknot from his shirt while you collect yourself.

“Hopefully that answers your question,” He clears his throat softly.

You start to nod, but the sound of the bathroom door opening cuts through the moment and you start, tea spilling over the lip of your cup onto your fingers.

“It’s Mingi, baby,” He assures you.

“I know,” You have to tear your eyes off the hallway though.

His mouth is set in a concerned little line, and you know he’s probably thinking about your conversation in the kitchen again, but he lets it lie and doesn’t push it, just like he promised.

Mingi appears a moment later, a towel slung around his hips and his shoulders and hair wet from the shower. He smiles widely when he sees you both, “What’s going on in here?”

Yunho raises up his cup, “Tea,” he smiles, “nothing much,”

“Mm,” Mingi nods and stretches, “nice,”

“Will you be ready soon?” Yunho asks, “Wooyoung will be here in a bit,”

“Yeah, sure,” He confirms and then glances at you, “you’re good with us going out?”

“I’m good,” You confirm.

“I’ll stay if it would make you feel better,” Mingi adds, “I can hide in the bedroom and listen to music or something if you want privacy,”

You love them both so much in this moment you feel like your chest might crack right open on its own, and you shake your head at him with a smile, “No, I have to get comfortable at some point, it might as well be while Woo is here with me,”

He nods, “Well, we won’t be too far, just call us and we’ll turn around.”

“Thank you,” You reach up to take his hand and he twines his fingers with yours immediately.

Yunho shifts, pressing his lips against your shoulder, “Are you and Woo going out anywhere?”

He’s clearly trying to be subtle, but you hear the anxious note in his voice and it occurs to you that they might be just as nervous leaving you as you are staying here without them.

You shake your head, “No, just staying here,”

“That’s good,” Mingi adds a little too quickly, “if you do go out, would you let us know?”

“I will,” You promise them, “but you don’t have to worry,”

“It’s in our nature to worry over you,” Yunho sighs, “but I think we’re both trying not to be overbearing about this whole thing,”

“Trying,” Mingi shrugs, “but also the idea of not knowing where you are feels like it might give me hives,”

You laugh at the image, easing back into Yunho’s chest.

“To be clear,” Yunho shoots Mingi a look, “that’s in a nice ‘we care about you’ way, not in a ‘controlling boyfriend’ kind of way,”

“Relax,” You tell them both, “I get why you want to know, it’s the same reason I want to know where you are.”

“Studio first,” Mingi offers without you asking and your chest warms, “then groceries, and then I want to swing by that cafe that has that caramel cheesecake you like, then home,”

“Don’t say we don’t have to,” Yunho adds, “we want to,”

You smile as he takes the words right out of your mouth.

“Plus, I want some,” Mingi says with ease.

You’re not used to this type of relationship yet, having alphas of your own who actually want to be with you and take care of you, who worry for you and feel for you in all the deep nervous ways you feel for them. You hush the nagging voice in your mind that tries to tell you not to show them how much you need them, the voice that doesn’t want you to jump too fast, you already know what you get by listening to that voice.

Instead you ask them what you want to ask, “How long do you think you’ll be gone?”

“Two hours,” Yunho offers, “maybe three at the most,”

“Okay,” You exhale, weight dropping away from your shoulders, “that’s perfect,”

“We’ll let you know,” Mingi adds, “and if you need anything special while we’re out, we can stop,”

You shake your head, “I’m fine,” You assure them, “a little anxious, but you know, it’s good for me.”

Mingi smiles warmly, brushing his hand over your cheek and tilting your face up with his thumb and forefinger on your chin, “We’re a phone call away,”

“I know,” You nod.

Yunho sighs as Mingi’s hand drops away, and he kisses your shoulder again, “It’s funny,” he says, “I really don’t want to leave you,”

“We did just spend three months not seeing each other and in a state of constant relationship limbo,” You point out and give him a squeeze, “we really went from nothing to a whole lot of something fast,”

“Not too fast?” Mingi checks, trying to sound casual.

“No,” You say, “and even if it is, I don’t care,”

“We’ve always felt right together,” Yunho adds, “we’re just letting ourselves enjoy it now,”

He’s never said something so true.

Mingi gets dressed and collapses onto the couch next to both, pushing closer into your space with Yunho until you’re both practically on his lap, but it works. You stay knit close together until there’s a knock on the door and then it’s fast kisses goodbye and big hugs from your best friend, and before you can really process it you’re without them for the first time in days.

Your stomach is fluttering, a nervous quiver deep in your gut that you really don’t want Wooyoung to over-analyze. A moment later you find yourself back on the couch in the warm spot Yunho left, wrapping yourself in the blanket you had all shared the night before. You can smell them on it, earthy, warm, and sweet.

Wooyoung watches as you start to relax, and he takes a seat right next to you to keep close, a closed smile on his lips.

You can’t believe you miss them already.

They must miss you too though, because Mingi only makes it a scant ten minutes before he texts you, his message lighting up your phone - Forgot to say I love you - I love you.

“What?” Wooyoung nudges you under the blanket.

You pass your phone to him and he reads the message, his eyebrows shooting up high, “I leave you alone for a few days and you’re all saying ‘I love you’s?”

You grab the phone back and tuck it away, “That’s the thing about life changing trauma,” you laugh, “it really accelerates the big feelings,”

Wooyoung nods, keeping things light, but finds your hand on the back of the couch so he can hold it.

“Also we’re not all saying it,” You confess, “they’re saying it,”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean they’ve told me,” You explain, “the day after the studio we had this big talk,”

“Don’t tell me they put all that shit on you like that,” He wraps his hand around yours, “y/n,”

“Not like that,” You shake your head, “it’s actually hysterical, they thought that Seonghwa and I have been dating,”

His eyes go wide, “What?”

“It’s truly the longest story of miscommunication,” You tell him, “at this point I think someone should write a book about me and make it a romantic comedy,”

“Erotica,” Wooyoung smirks.

“Shut up,” You swat at him.

“There have been too many good orgasms for a romcom,” He shrugs.

You roll your eyes, “Anyways, it turns out the whole not talking period while you were all away was just me pining but feeling like I fucked it up, and them pining but thinking I had moved on with Hwa,”

“Damn,”

“But when they realized that they were wrong about that,” You continue, “we just got it all out there,”

“And they love you,” He smiles a little, “and they actually said it,”

“Yeah,” You soften into the cushions.

“I hate to ask the obvious,” He squeezes your hand, “but if you’re so happy about that, why haven’t you told them? You do love them?”

“So much,” The words fly out like you’re defending something, and you run a hand through your hair as you get your real thoughts steady, “I do, Woo, so much. We’re scent matches,”

“I know,” He nods warmly.

“You do?”

“Anyone with eyes can see that,” Wooyoung smiles, “well, apart from you three.”

“Thanks,”

He nudges your thigh with his foot under the blanket, “Honestly, though, after what happened I could see it on them. You couldn’t keep your hands off each other, and they kept flanking you, watching you like you might disappear,”

A memory of the studio plays like a clip in your mind, the way they held you between them, the three of you against everything. You nod, “They’ve been doing that for days,”

“Which…” Wooyoung trails off, trying to guess where your head is, “you’re happy about?”

“I am,” You nod emphatically, “and I love them, I just… I can’t get the fucking words out of my mouth,”

He sobers a little, sliding closer to you on the couch so he can draw your legs over his lap and give you exactly the kind of comfort you need, “I’m listening, babe, talk to me,”

“I don’t know why,” You hold his hand tighter, “but every time they say it, and I think I’m going to say it back, I’m right back in that room with Minseok’s teeth on my neck and I can’t,” your chest feels tight, “I can’t get it out,”

His eyes soften, empathetic in the way that only he can be, “Does being in love with them scare you?”

“No!” You pull your hand back from his.

“Babe,” He takes your hand back and holds tight, “I’m not saying they scare you, I’m saying does being in love, being vulnerable like that scare you?”

Your shoulders drop, “A little, but,”

“But?”

“I thought about it for three months,” You argue, “I had it rehearsed, I knew exactly what I wanted to say and the big reveal was supposed to be the ‘I love you’ part not the ‘I’m sorry’ part,”

“Your plans on that kind of fell apart when that asshole tried to claim you,” Wooyoung pushes back a little.

“Yeah, no shit,” A flurry of anger bubbles in your belly.

He nods, “And now you’re off kilter,”

“You could say that,”

“You rarely do anything without thinking it through,” He offers, this thumb drawing a comforting line over your palm, “and your plan got fucked, and you’re emotionally vulnerable, and traumatized, and stressed. You feel like you’re out here without a life vest,”

His words stun you silent.

“And this thing you worked up in your mind for three months is now totally derailed,” He continues, “am I on the money?”

You nod.

“Can I ask you something?” He says.

You nod again.

Wooyoung asks this question softly, his voice quiet and gentle, “Do you want to bond with them?”

Your heart thumps in your chest.

“It’s just you and me,” Wooyoung soothes you, “and whether or not you bond with them is your choice, okay? But, babe, is that something you think you’ll want?”

Suddenly you remember the feeling of your heat with them. The way you begged for them, the way it felt so right and so sure that you belonged to each other. You remember how your mind spun imaginary futures that all ended the same way.

Silently, you nod.

“Loving them isn’t bonding,” He murmurs, “you can just love them for now at your own pace.”

Tears prick at the back of your eyes, “What if I can never do it? They can barely touch my neck without me falling apart, what if I can never take a real claim?”

“Oh, babe,” He pulls you towards him, crushing you to his chest, “I wish you called me earlier, you shouldn’t be thinking like this,”

“It was so terrible,” You confess into his shoulder, “I can’t even tell you, I don’t even know how to explain,”

“You don’t have to,” He hushes you, a hand stroking up and down your back, “and I don’t know if this is going to help or hurt, but I know right now you feel like there’s no way you’d ever be able to take a claim without it being scary and awful, but someday you might be able to without even thinking of him.”

A few hot tears escape your eyes.

“And I know I give Yunho and Mingi shit,” He adds, “but you know that both of them would rather die than do something to hurt you or scare you,”

“And if I can never bond?” You manage.

“Then I’d say thank god your scent matches are two men who would never, ever push you into a bond you weren’t ready for,” He says, squeezing you tight, “and I think if you asked them, they’d tell you that they’d rather be with you unbonded and happy than bonded and in pain.”

“You’re right,” You wipe away the wetness on your cheeks, “I know you’re right,”

“They’re not going to try to push you into a bond just because you love each other,” He lets you lean back but he slides his hand back into yours, “especially not now,”

“I know that,” You sigh, “rationally, I was just,”

“I’m telling you, I get it,” He eases you, “sometimes you go through something and you think a part of you is wrecked forever, that you’ll never be able to do something again or feel normal again, but you will. I promise,”

You know the truth of him so suddenly you can’t stop the words, “Woo,” you feel your heart beating faster, “did something happen?”

“A long, long time ago,” He says softly, “and today’s not the day for that story, but I’m telling you it does get better and it does soften in your memory and someday your alphas are going to touch your neck and you won’t even think about it, it just won’t be there anymore.”

Grief and relief mingle in your gut at his words, and you want to ask him more, to be there for him like he’s been there for you but you can see it in his face, today isn’t the day for that story.

You squeeze his hand, “I love you, Woo,”

“I love you too,” He assures you.

Silence sits between you for a moment while you turn over his words, and though you can’t imagine the day he’s describing, you still believe him. You have to. You don’t know what happened to him or when, but you’ve never met someone as bright and open and happy as him, and you have to hold onto that truth.

You look down at your combined hands, “Yunho offered to make an appointment with a therapist for me,”

“Say yes,” Wooyoung replies without a thought, “I waited years and I wish I hadn’t,”

“Yeah?”

“Does he have a contact?” Wooyoung asks, drawing your eyes back up, “I have some options for you if not,”

“He said he can ask his therapist for a referral,”

“His therapist?” Wooyoung grins, “I knew I liked him,”

“You’ve been friends for years,” You nudge him.

“Liked him for you,” He corrects, “that’s different,”

“Yeah, yeah,”

“My best friend deserves an alpha who is fully therapized and capable of complex emotions,” Wooyoung says with confidence, “nothing less.”

“Don’t mention that I told you,” You add quickly, “he told me that in confidence, it just slipped out,”

“I wouldn’t,” Wooyoung shakes his head, “that’s private. But between you and me, I’m glad to hear it.”

“Me too,” You sigh.

“And as far as you going?” Wooyoung circles back to the real question at hand, “Say yes, the sooner the better. If Yunho’s offering to help set it up, let him. Making that call is hard, and if he can make it easier, just say yes.”

“Okay,” You sigh, your shoulders dropping.

“And tell them how you’re feeling about bonding,” He adds, “trust me.”

“Maybe,” You say, “I know you’re right. We’re just moving so fast,”

“So slow down,” He offers.

“I don’t know if I want to,” You admit, warmth and nervous energy filling your chest, “it feels right like this, I just don’t know if I can handle a claim,”

“Tell them,” He reiterates, “don’t let them stumble into that one, they might hurt you without even knowing it if they bring it up sooner than you’re ready for.”

“Right,” You nod, “you’re right,”

He huffs a laugh, “Usually am,”

You flick his arm, rolling your eyes, so grateful at him for helping you work through something this hard while still keeping you smiling. You should have called him earlier, he’s right about that too.

You let silence stretch around you both for a moment, and then something occurs to you.

“Do you know anything about the charges Minseok is filing?” You run a hand through your hair, “Not to bring up yet another pleasant subject,”

Wooyoung snorts a little air through his nose and shrugs, “I probably know what you know, have you talked to Hwa?”

You shake your head.

“At all?” He seems surprised.

“I have,” You correct, “but it was quick and we were all on the call. I haven’t been to my place to see if there’s any mail, but I’d guess Yunho and Mingi will get a summons soon.”

Wooyoung nods, “That’s what the police said,”

Your eyebrows raise, “You talked to the police?”

“Seonghwa did,” He clarifies, “and he gave San and I the run down.”

“Why is no one telling me what’s going on?” You exhale heavily.

“Because last we heard you were having nightmares,” Wooyoung rests a hand on your folded legs, “and we don’t have a lot of information to give, and I don’t think any of us want to cause you more stress than you need.”

“Do Yunho and Mingi know?” You press.

“Not exactly,” Wooyoung says, “though, I guess Seonghwa might be telling them now if they stopped by the studio,”

You wait for him to continue, but you’re a little relieved at least that your boys aren’t keeping anything from you directly.

“Seonghwa spoke to the police who explained the charges. Minseok is alleging that the guys misunderstood what they saw and ignored his attempts to explain, and that they used unnecessary force intervening on your behalf.” He says it plainly.

“Misunderstood?” You repeat the word.

“I know,” Wooyoung nods, “we all know, but that’s what he’s saying. The police advised Seonghwa to get an attorney and let him know that further charges were being filed. I think we can safely assume that’s Yunho and Mingi, maybe San if he’s really going after it.”

“Maybe me too,” You add.

“Maybe,” He nods, “but that would be tough to prove I think,”

“Hmm,” Your eyes feel a little unfocused.

“Hey,” Wooyoung gets your attention with a squeeze, “we don’t know anything yet, and we thought this might happen. It doesn’t change the truth and it doesn’t mean any of them regret what they did to make sure you were safe, okay?”

“Yeah,”

“Tell me you understand,” He presses, “because I’m not letting you put this one on yourself,”

“I do, I understand,” You nod, “it just sucks,”

“That’s fair,” He gives you a soft smile, “but it’s going to take a lot more than this to fuck us over,”

“Yeah,” You murmur, “you’re probably right.”

Wooyoung says something else but you hardly hear it, in the back of your mind all you can think of is that first night at the hospital. The detectives who interviewed you were kind, but bordered on dismissive, and you know Minseok and his family have deeper pockets than you do. You have to figure this out, you have to.

“Babe?” Wooyoung nudges you.

“Yeah,” You snap up, coming back to the present moment and letting those anxieties fade into the background until you can really think them through, “sorry,”

“It’s okay,” He soothes you.

Your phone buzzes on your lap again and you pull it up to see the message. It’s Mingi again - Budae Jjigae for dinner, ask Wooyoung if he wants to stay? We’ll have plenty

It’s like he felt your anxiety from miles away and you can feel the tense knot of your shoulders unlocking. You send back a quick heart emoji and then look back up to your friend, “You want to stay for dinner?”

He smiles, “Who’s cooking?”

“Mingi,” You tell him, “he’s been on a comfort food kick for me,”

Wooyoung smiles, “I’ll stay,”

“Great,” You tap out a reply to Mingi letting him know and take a big sigh.

“They make you happy,” Wooyoung says, “it’s nice to see,”

“It’s nice to feel,” You tell him, “after all this time, and after everything,”

“You deserve it,” He murmurs.

You smile, a little tease at the corner of your mouth when you nudge him, “So do you, and speaking of,”

His face lights up fast, “I wasn’t trying to bring my too-good mood over here if things weren’t going well,” he sighs, “but now that I know you’re all in love,”

“So you and Yeosang?” You turn the conversation to something so much happier, and feel lighter the second you do.

“It’s so good,” He gushes, head falling back against the cushions, “he’s kind of quiet, kind of hard to get to know at first, but y/n, he’s so funny,”

“Yeah?” You smile.

“And smart,” He adds, “and considerate, he’s always getting me coffees or refilling my water, just like, those little things,”

“Wow, look at you,” You squeeze his hand, “serial dater of alphas, turned into a blushy mess over a funny, smart, considerate beta,”

“He’s packing like an alpha, I’ll say that,” Wooyoung grins wolfishly.

You smack his chest, “Woo! Literally that is too much information,”

“Please,” He rolls his eyes, “I share a locker room with your boyfriends, I know what you’re working with,”

You feel your face flush red.

“Cute,” He teases.

“So,” You divert, “does Yeosang feel as strongly?”

His smile drops a little, “I mean,” he says, “I think so? But he’s not really an oversharer,”

“Have you told anyone else?” You try to be casual about that question, but if you’re being honest you’re dying to know where things will land with San and Seonghwa.

Wooyoung shakes his head though, “Not yet, but I think when everything calms down I might have him pick me up at the studio or something? I want you to meet him and I want everyone to know, I just,”

“I get it,” You assure him, “you go at your own pace.”

“Yeah,” He sighs.

“Just don’t follow my lead,” You smile, “if you like him, don’t run away in a panic,”

“Noted,” He laughs.

He looks so happy, bright from the inside in a way that matches his sunny scent, and you think he’s not far from sharing ‘I love you’s of his own at this rate.

You squeeze his hand again and catch his attention back, “You really look so happy,” you tell him.

“I am,” He sighs, “he’s exactly what I needed,”

You smile, and then push his legs to the side, “Move over, I know you have pictures, you’re holding out,”

He laughs sharply, head falling back but letting you manhandle him a little so you can snuggle into his side. Wooyoung tugs the blanket around you both and pulls out his phone, “Fine,”

“Like it’s a burden to show your best friend pictures of your hot new boyfriend,” You smack his chest, “come on,”

Wooyoung drops his arm around your shoulders until you’re slotted together on the corner of the couch, but he still hasn’t lit up his phone. You’re about to nudge him again, but then you feel him press a soft kiss to your hair.

“You know,” He says softly, “when Sannie called me and told me what happened, I just felt so sick,”

You find his other hand under the covers and lace your fingers together, “I’m okay,”

He nods, sighing into your skin, “I just want you to know,” he says, his voice a little tight, “you mean so much to me, and I’ll be grateful to them forever for stopping him,”

You blink back a few tears and nod, “I am okay, though,”

He nods again and clears his throat, “I know,”

“I think you’re avoiding my questions about Yeosang,” You squeeze his hand tightly, an acknowledgement of his emotions and his words, while steering the conversation back to happier topics.

“You’re right,” He laughs, “you caught me.”

“Come on,” You nudge him again, pushing down the little swell of emotion that his words brought up.

“He’s not really a selfie guy,” Wooyoung slides his finger across his phone screen until he finds Instagram and then navigates to his new man’s page, “but, I don’t know, I think you’ll like his vibe.”

Your face cracks into a wide smile when you see the profile, clearly that of an artist, a photographer. The first post on his page is of Wooyoung, though you’d have to know Wooyoung well to know it. He’s walking away from camera through a dark Itaewon street, the lines of his body accented by the neon club signs.

“Oh, Woo,” You relax against him and open that photo to see it larger, “he really likes you,”

He snatches the phone away, a little pink in his cheeks as he rushes to downplay the truth of what you can see plain as day, and you fight to get back the phone, your cheeks starting to hurt from how much you’ve been laughing.

You and Wooyoung stay like this for ages, warmly locked together as you swap stories and funny things on both your phones. By the time your phone chimes with another text from Mingi, at least two hours have gone by.

Almost home! His message reads.

Your chest feels warm, your heart whole at the words.

“They’ll be back in a minute,” You tell Wooyoung as you set your phone aside.

“Perfect,” He grins, “so exactly how much teasing can I get away with before you get mad?”

You fall apart again into laughter, happy tears stinging at your eyes. You don’t hear the front door open at first, but when you finally look up you see them standing frozen in the doorway with such softness in their expressions. You feel the words bubble up at the sight of them, but again they stay resting at the tip of your tongue.

Wooyoung rolls his eyes and pushes off the couch, “Alright, alright stop making heart eyes at each other and tell me what’s in the box,”

Your eyes flick down to the large white box in Mingi’s hand, the perfect cheesecake nestled inside waiting just for you. Wooyoung takes a few grocery bags out of their hands and heads off to the kitchen, and just like that your night falls together naturally.

You don’t think about Minseok again until later that night. For a beautiful, blissful four hours you just laughed and ate and relaxed with your best friend and your boyfriends, and he doesn’t enter your brain at all.

It isn’t until you’re lying in bed alone with your thoughts, Yunho and Mingi deep asleep on either side of you, that you realize what you have to do.

In the morning you wake from a dreamless sleep, and you start to put your plan in motion. You slip out of bed and leave them to their rest, light only just stretching its way through the Seoul skies outside. Seeing Wooyoung made you feel lighter in a way that you can’t explain, and within minutes you’re scrawling out a note, stealing Mingi’s key, and lacing up your sneakers.

Out for a walk, be back in a little while, don’t worry too much x

You leave it on their kitchen counter and you hope it’s enough to keep them from looking for you. You need a little space from your own scared reflection in the mirror, and a new perspective on the plan you’ve been turning over since your head hit the pillows last night.

The note isn’t a lie, strictly speaking, you are out for a walk, but you also know if you told them exactly where you were on a walk to, they'd worry. They wouldn’t just worry, they would have insisted on coming with you, but this is something you have to do alone.

You take the long way to the hospital down the river path, letting the cool day calm your mind and keep you centered. You go over in your mind all the things you want to say to him when you see him, assuming you actually make it into his room. You wonder how hard it will be to convince him. You wonder if you’ll even be able to get a single word out of your mouth.

You have to try.

Yunho’s words from yesterday morning in the kitchen sink into you. The tenderness in his eyes when he mentioned how jumpy you’ve been around the apartment. You hadn’t even realized it, but now you feel it in your shoulders and your stomach with the sound of every opening door, every squeak of a shoe on vinyl flooring. Everytime you look up into a mirror you expect to see a face over your shoulder, to feel hands on your hips.

Minseok had taken so many little things from you in the span of three minutes.

You need to take something back.

Every step leading into the hospital is heart pounding and nerve wracking, stress inducing on a level you’ve never experienced, but standing in front of reception you suddenly feel an overwhelming calm. Your mind is clear, operating on something wholly unconscious and you don’t know where you’ve mustered this feeling from, but you let it take you.

You give over Minseok’s full name and provide the kindest smile you can to the woman behind the desk,“I’m his sister,” you tell her. The lie rolls right off your tongue, so clean and easy you surprise yourself.

“Oh,” The nurse nods, “well visiting hours don’t start until eleven,”

“I have work,” You counter, softening your face, “I’m sorry, but do you think you could make an exception? I’ll be very quick, I just want to see him for a few minutes before I have to run,”

She considers it, and you know you have her the minute she checks the nurse’s station to see who else is there with her before she breaks a rule, “Alright, but just be quick, five minutes,”

“Thank you so much,” You smile, “really, you’re so kind,”

She waves you off, glancing around her again, “He’s in 305, the third door down on your left when I open the doors,”

“Thank you,”

She presses a button on the wall and the lock springs free, opening the heavy security door to your side. With one last smile and deeply grateful bow, you slip through the door and make it through into the hospital hallway where you are most definitely not supposed to be.

Third door on the left.

You have to be quick, not so you don’t get caught, but so you don’t chicken out. If you stand in this hallway and let yourself really think about what you’re doing, you’ll turn right around and go home. Steeling yourself, you rush forwards and find the door to 305 and with a deep breath you slip inside.

Private rooms are expensive, that thought occurs to you as you shut the door tightly behind you. That fact, plus the reality that he’s already talking about pressing his own charges, tells you Seonghwa was right, he has some kind of family money. You hope that when you turn around and actually face the room you won’t have to contend with his mother or father or god forbid some girlfriend you know nothing about. You need him to be alone.

Blissfully, the room is quiet, the only sounds are medical and simple. With your palms flat against the door you take a deep breath, and if Minseok is awake he says nothing, makes no sound, while you gather the nerve to do this.

Finally, you turn.

He is awake, studying you with a careful expression, but then your eyes flick over him. He’s more than injured, he’s completely incapacitated. You catalog it all quickly - his leg suspended in an elevating sling, ankle wrapped up tight, wrist sprained and in a brace, his face is bruised and battered and you realize in seconds that his broken jaw is wired shut. He has an oxygen cannula tucked into his bandaged nose, and you remember that his ribs are broken too.

You wonder which of your boys delivered each piece of punishment.

Your mouth feels dry, and your pulse is quickening, the sight of him so close is enough to induce panic but he can’t really do anything to you in this state so you have to just be brave. You push yourself off the wall and walk to the end of his hospital bed, “Hey,”

He gestures to his jaw and shrugs to communicate that he can’t really talk.

“I know,” You nod, “I heard.”

It’s strange to be here with him like this when last week you were working side by side. It’s bizarre to suddenly feel this bubble of uncomfortable space and distance, and to feel the fear underneath it all.

He gestures towards you with his bandaged hand and you know he’s asking why you’re here.

“I heard about the counter charges,” You came here with a purpose and you have to stick to it, “and I came here to ask you to drop them.”

He shakes his head and looks down at himself and then back up to you.

“After what you did?” Anger curls up in your belly, “I think they took it pretty easy on you.”

He huffs, a puff of air from his closed lips.

“Listen,” You try, “you and I both know what you tried to do, and whatever your excuse is, it doesn’t matter. If they hadn’t gotten you off me… I guess what I’m saying is do the right thing now. You said you were sorry, just drop these charges and we can all move on.”

His eyes harden and he shakes his head.

You thought he was apologetic after, coming to his senses and realizing in the haze of his rut he almost broke someone’s mind, but now you’re starting to think he was just pleading for his own beating to stop.

“You won’t consider it?” You ask, stomach clenching tightly.

He shakes his head again and points to his injuries. Jaw, ribs, leg.

You want to hit him yourself, so suddenly that your fingers curl tight into fists, “You tried to fucking claim me because I wouldn’t go out on a date with you, and you think you’re the victim here?”

He seems irritated by your question, and he reaches for something on the tray table to his side. He pulls up a small whiteboard and marker, clearly given to him by hospital staff to communicate, and he wipes away the words that were there to write out his message to you.

I’m the one in a hospital bed.

“You bastard,” The words just slip out, “why do you think? They put you here for a fucking reason, Minseok,”

He wipes the message away and writes something else.

Keep your alphas on a leash.

You’ve never understood the phrase ‘seeing red’ before, but now it’s meaning is crystal clear, “You should keep yourself on a leash.”

He huffs.

“Using tone to submit an omega is illegal, Minseok,” You round the corner of the bed, “the prison time for something like that is long. It’s not even just assault, I think that’s something like three or four years? But using tone… claiming against an omega’s will? That’s irreparable damage. I wonder how many charges they’d stack on top in court? Psychological trauma? Sexual assault?”

His eyes darken and he wipes the board again, his marker squeaking roughly against it as he angrily writes out the next message.

I never touched you like that.

“You would have,” You shake your head, “as soon as I was your nice obedient omega and couldn’t say no.”

He stares daggers, but says nothing.

“They might be able to prove intent,” You tell him, “throw a few more years on top for good measure. How old do you think you’ll be when they let you out? Do you think a dance studio would hire a forty year old man?”

His face pales, he looks sick suddenly.

“You’ll drop the charges,” You tell him, “and when you do, I’ll drop mine.”

His eyes widen.

“You’ll never set foot in the studio again, and you’ll go find another job somewhere else.”

His eyes skim over you, trying to gauge your honesty.

“Do you understand me?” You don’t know what’s possessing you, what’s holding you up so you can get these words out, but you’ve never felt more sure.

He says nothing.

You lean in closer, close enough that if he was uninjured he could easily have you back in control, but with his jaw wired shut and his lack of mobility, he can’t do a thing. Nerves flutter up your body as you lean in, and you’re sure he can smell Yunho and Mingi on you, but the guarantee that he can’t touch you is filling you with a sick sense of power, of sure joy.

“You tried and you failed,” You tell him, and he huffs, “and that’s on you.”

His cheek twitches and you’re sure he’d be clenching his jaw if he could do it without exceptional pain.

“You’ll do this for me, you owe me,” You hold his gaze despite the flutter of fear it brings you, “and if you don’t, I don’t care what it takes. I’ll see you in court and if that doesn’t work, I’ll make sure that you never, ever get hired again. Every studio in Korea will know what you did, and every omega in Seoul will know what you really are, and if you ever get close to me again after today I’ll break your jaw myself.”

His eyes flick down.

“Do you understand me?” You repeat, enunciating clearly.

He nods once.

“Good,” You push back from him and get some distance, “get the charges against all of them dropped by tomorrow and I’ll call and withdraw mine. Don’t ever come back to the studio, if you left stuff there consider it gone.”

He holds your gaze, and then he writes out a question - How do I know you’ll keep your word?

“You don’t,” You shrug, “but I promise you I wouldn’t be here in this room with you at all if I wasn’t willing to drop them.”

He turns your words over.

“Minseok,” You sigh, “they mean more to me than watching you go to jail, please, just do the right thing.”

He wipes his hand again across the whiteboard and then he shifts, looking back up to you to nod in agreement.

“You’ll do it?”

He nods again and then picks the marker back up to write something.

“Don’t,” You stop him, “there’s nothing you can say I want to hear. Just do this and we’ll be done.”

He looks away and without meeting your eyes again, he nods.

“Don’t make me come back,” You press him, but he doesn’t respond and that will have to be enough. You’ve done what you came to do.

You’re out of his room in a flash, back through the security doors and quick past the front desk. You don’t spare a single glance at the nurse who broke the rules for you, you just need to get out of here before you let the reality of what you’ve done hit you sideways. You don’t let a single thing consume you until you’re out of the hospital and on the street again, and you sink down onto the first available bench.

Your heart is pounding, hands trembling. You need to get this under control before you go home because the last thing you want is to cause Yunho and Mingi anymore stress or heartache. You give yourself some time to come back into your body, to forget the hard set of Minseok’s eyes and the way his fingers twitched when you got too close, the way you fought the curling panic in your gut to get the words out.

When you do feel whole again, you order a taxi back. You’ve been gone a while, probably a little longer than they expected, and you hope they’re not worried.

Using Mingi’s borrowed key, you slip into the apartment and let their scents wash over you, soothing you instantly. You shut the door quietly behind you and toe off your shoes before calling out, “Is anyone home?”

You hear movement immediately, Mingi from the kitchen and Yunho from his bedroom and it fills you with warmth.

“Hey,” Mingi gets to the living room first, “how was your walk?”

“Really good,” You tell him, and that’s the truth. The walk itself was nice until you cut it short with your little errand.

“You look good,” He smiles, and Yunho appears from his side of the apartment as Mingi continues, “fresher,”

“Yeah,” You sigh, “it’s a beautiful morning out,”

“Hey,” Yunho says, smiling at the sight of you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t wake you,” You say, “I just wanted to clear my head a bit, so I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed your key,”

Mingi shakes his head as you hang his keyring up by the door.

“We’ll have to get one made for you,” Yunho says, “if you want,”

You let the implication of that lie and you nod, but excitement sparks in your belly.

“Is there any coffee?” You ask, moving into the apartment and heading towards the kitchen. You need to tell them where you’ve been, but you just need a breath before you can.

“Mhm,” Mingi says, “I just made a cup,”

“Oh,” You shake your head, “I don’t want to take yours, I’ll make my own.”

“No, no,” He slides behind you and presses a kiss to your hair as he does, “take it, I’ll make another. Yunho, do you want one?”

“I’m good,” He replies, coming to stand next to you at the small kitchen island.

Mingi looks like he’s thinking about something as he finishes off your cup of coffee and throws an electric kettle back on to make another pourover, but Yunho draws your attention away.

“Jagi,” He starts, “I don’t mean to… well, can we talk to you about something?”

“Sure,” You angle towards him, his words making you a little nervous, “is everything okay?”

“Absolutely,” He assures you, brushing his hand down the length of your arm, “but Mingi and I were talking while you were gone, about how to handle everything with these charges,”

“Oh,” His timing is impeccable.

“We just want to include you,” He says, squeezing your hand, “and make sure we’re handling things the way we should, but it might be smart to try and hire a lawyer before this goes any further,”

You’re not sure how you’re supposed to say this.

“We talked to Seonghwa and he agrees,” Yunho continues, “this will be the easiest way to protect all of us,”

“Yunho,” You start, “hang on,”

“If this is upsetting we can talk about it later,” Yunho adds, “but Seonghwa has some connections through his parents, he wants to make some calls.”

Your stomach twists at the idea of Seonghwa needing to lean on a favor from his parents, and every choice you made that morning becomes perfectly validated with just that thought. You would never, ever let him do that, not after everything he’s done for you.

“It’s not upsetting,” You assure Yunho, trying to interject, “I just don’t think that will be necessary,”

“Getting a lawyer?” He clarifies.

“Yeah,” You swallow hard and glance at Mingi, “I don’t think we’ll need to.”

“I mean, having representation would be best,” Yunho says, “I know it’s stressful, but we need to be careful,”

“Right,” You sigh, needing him to give you a breath to explain, “that’s if there’s a suit,”

“Well sure, but,” Yunho starts but the penny drops for Mingi.

“Tell me you didn’t,” Mingi turns to you fully and the words die on Yunho’s lips as he plays catch up.

You stay quiet, holding his gaze, but when you let out a soft breath he sets his coffee back down.

“y/n,” Mingi says, voice serious and leaving Yunho visibly more and more confused, “tell me you didn’t do what I think you did.”

“I took care of it,” You settle on the most neutral words you can.

“No,” He shakes his head, “you can’t just say that, you have to give us more than that.”

“I was planning on it,” You push past Yunho to approach Mingi, resting your hands on his upper arms as you get closer into his space, “I swear, you just guessed it too fast,”

“You smell like the hospital,” He explains, his nose crinkled up.

“Whoa, whoa,” Yunho finally catches up, “why were you at the hospital?”

You just have to say it, “I talked to Minseok,”

“Absolutely not,” Yunho pushes around the island and closer to you, “are you insane?”

“He’s completely incapacitated,” You tell them both, “he couldn’t have touched me even if he wanted to,”

“Yes, but you didn’t know that!” Yunho presses, his voice running high in surprise, but you can see he’s doing his best to keep level and cool.

“Look at me,” You settle him, “do I look hurt? Upset?”

“No,” He admits with a puff of dejected air.

“Am I myself?” You take both their hands in yours.

“Yes,” Mingi admits.

“Okay,” You sigh, “now stop freaking out and listen to me, because I promise you I’m perfectly fine,”

Mingi nods once, and Yunho stays silent, which is enough for you to do what you need to do.

“I went there to talk him out of the charges he’s filing,” You explain, “and I guess… I just wanted to understand what he did, so I wanted to talk to him.”

“And?” Yunho prompts.

“He’s an asshole,” You start.

“Did he touch you?” Mingi asks, his voice a little tight and thready, “Say anything to you?”

“No,” You promise, tugging him closer until his hands are properly on you, “come here,”

“You can tell us if he did,” Yunho’s fingertips stroke a gentle pattern over the back of your neck, “we’re not angry, we just want to help,”

“Speak for yourself, I still want to kill him,” Mingi says sharply.

“Hey,” Yunho nudges him, “chill,”

“Both of you relax,” You interject and they fall silent, “he didn’t do anything, he couldn’t even talk, his jaw is fully wired shut,”

Yunho huffs a laugh, “Good,”

You smile, “Honestly, he looked pretty pathetic,”

“He is pretty pathetic,” Mingi points out.

“Right,” You sigh, “well, aside from some choice words written out on a whiteboard, he didn’t have much to say or do. I explained that if he didn’t drop his charges things would be much worse for him in the long run… and he saw reason.”

“He agreed to that?” Mingi’s eyes go wide.

“Mhm,”

“Why?” Yunho’s brows draw together, “Not out of the goodness of his heart, I assume,”

“No,” You shake your head, “but when I tell you, I need you both to promise me you won’t be angry.”

“That’s unfair,” Yunho says.

“Just say it,” Mingi nods, “we won’t know until we know.”

You chew the inside of your lip as you search for the right way to say this, and you know they’ll be upset no matter what, but they deserve honesty. You nod, “I agreed to drop my charges if he drops his,”

They’re silent, deathly silent.

“y/n,” Yunho swallows tightly as he gets his voice even, “why would you do that?”

“He didn’t want to listen to me at first,” You explain, “and I thought it through on the walk. That’s the only piece of leverage we have right now,”

“But he did something wrong, he should be held accountable,” Mingi exclaims, taking a full step away from you and running a hand through his hair.

“You heard the questions the police asked me,” You interject, “how close was I to my next heat? Did I know Minseok was in pre-rut? Why did I stay in the room if he was making me uncomfortable? What was I wearing?”

“But it wasn’t your fault,” Yunho insists, “he used tone, that’s fucking illegal,”

“I said he used tone,” You counter quietly, “but he’ll say he didn’t and he’ll say I got confused or misunderstood. He’ll use our relationship against you both, and my relationship with Seonghwa to paint… a very particular kind of picture about me. We all know what he did but I’m telling you, legally? We’re on the losing side,”

“But,” Mingi shakes his head, “that’s…”

“I know,” You nod, “believe me, I know.”

“You should have taken us with you,” Yunho says quietly, “we could have talked to him for you,”

You shake your head, “No,” you need them to understand, “you got to hit him… you got to do something, I didn’t get to do anything but be fucking scared,”

His expression softens, “Oh,”

“You protected me when I needed you,” You feel tears welling up now at the thought of it, “it’s my turn to protect you,”

They’re so quiet, watching you carefully.

“Nothing is taking you away from me again,” You say it, plain and clear, “nothing is taking away you or my friends, I won’t let that happen,”

Mingi’s arms fold around you fast as he tucks you into his chest and you feel Yunho step close too, laying a warm palm on your back as he leans into you both.

“Whatever you want, we’ll do it,” Mingi murmurs, “okay?”

You nod, closing your eyes as you snuggle into the warmth of him.

“And we’ll handle it together,” Yunho says, “but don’t make this decision for us, make it for you. We,” Yunho’s voice trails, but then he clears his throat and says what he wants to say anyways, “we love you. No matter what happens,”

“I know,” You sigh, snaking an arm out of Mingi’s hold to find Yunho’s hand and tuck him a little closer too, “but I’m sure,”

“I hate to state the obvious here,” Mingi pulls back from you so he can look at you both, “but if he’s not charged with anything, then he’s a free man.”

That thought does make your stomach flip, but you knew that when you walked into the hospital room, “I know,”

“It’s your choice,” Mingi reiterates, “but I still don’t know if I’m comfortable taking that kind of risk with you.”

“I don’t even want to think about that,” Yunho says, his hands finding your shoulders as he tucks closer behind you.

The image of Minseok’s face when you asked about his dance career flickers through your mind and you smile, “I think he got the picture,”

“y/n,” Mingi’s voice is hesitant.

“I told him in no uncertain terms,” You can’t get the smile off your face now, “that if he came anywhere near me again I’d break his jaw myself.”

“You didn’t,” Yunho looks down to see your face.

“I did,” You nod, “and before you freak out again, please remember that I’m here and totally fine in front of you,”

Mingi gives you a truly withering look but lets you speak.

“Honestly,” You breathe, “you should have seen him, he was lying there and could barely move, and when he didn’t want to drop the charges at first, I kind of got in his face,”

Yunho’s hands tighten on your shoulders and Mingi scrubs a hand over his face, “Don’t tell me that,”

“But I did,” You press your palms flat against Mingi’s chest, “I told him that if he didn’t drop his charges he would never get rid of me, I told him I’d make his life hell, and he couldn’t even move. He couldn’t touch me,”

Mingi’s quiet, his eyes flicking up to Yunho behind you. Yunho sighs, dropping his forehead to rest against your hair and then his arms relax, wrapping around you from behind.

“I really hate this story,” Yunho says, “but I’m also really proud of you,”

“Me too,” Mingi’s hand closes over both of yours to give you a squeeze.

“I just wish you had told us,” Yunho admits.

“If I had told you I was going there you would have never let me go alone,” You point out.

“Exactly,” Yunho’s arms tighten.

You turn your head to press your lips to his arm where it wraps around your shoulder, and you nuzzle a little into his warm skin, “You know why I had to go though, right? You get it?”

He nods against your head.

Mingi smooths his hand up and down your forearm, “We do,”

“I just hate the thought of him seeing you again,” Yunho admits, lifting his head and readjusting you in his arms, “or being close to you at all,”

“I know,” You lean back into his embrace, “but this is the thing, he got to see me be fine after what he did,”

“And you got to see him,” Mingi puts two and two together with ease and nods, “and he looked pathetic?”

“More than that,” You smile, “he looked… afraid.”

“Good,” Mingi says firmly.

You remember the way he looked in that hospital bed, his eyes darting around the room. He shrank back when you got close, no doubt the scent of Yunho and Mingi lingering on your skin, and you smile up at them at the thought, “He was terrified my alphas were with me,”

Yunho’s lips quirk and he leans around you to meet your eyes, “He wasn’t afraid of us, sweetheart, he was afraid of you.”

“No,” You laugh that off, but they don’t join in and Mingi makes a funny expression at your words.

Yunho slides away, shoulder to shoulder with Mingi now as he looks down at you, “Yes, y/n,” he shakes his head, “he was vulnerable and alone and stuck in a hospital bed, and you’re…”

“A powerful fucking omega,” Mingi supplies.

Yunho nods, “And he knows that you could ruin the rest of his life.”

You don’t know what to say.

“y/n,” Mingi sighs, tugging you in until your bodies are close together, “if you ever do something that reckless again, I’ll lose my mind,”

You move to lift your head and push back, to keep trying to get him to understand why this was so important for you to do alone and why you made the choices you made, but he stops you short.

“But,” He adds, kissing the top of your head, “it was also very brave, and I love you for it.”

“Yeah?” You nudge him.

“Yeah,” He admits.

“I do wish I could have seen it,” Yunho grins, “that asshole scared of you,”

Mingi’s hands slide to your hips, tightening their grip and he swallows hard, “Our fierce little omega,”

A ripple of something needy and unexpected passes through your belly, “Is that what I am?”

Yunho steps closer, finding a home for his hands on your body too, “You called us your alphas,” he says softly, “isn’t that what we are?”

Mingi’s thumbs brush a warm steady pattern into your hips and you feel yourself melting into their hands, “Yes,”

“That makes you our omega, sweetheart,” Yunho eyes flick from yours to your lips.

The way they say omega to you doesn’t sound cold. It doesn’t sound cruel or commanding, no undertone of ownership despite the content of their words. When they say it all you hear is love.

“Say that again,” You murmur softly.

Mingi smiles, lifting his eyes to watch you.

Yunho dips closer, his lips dangerously close, “Our omega?”

You nod a little, heat flushing your cheeks.

“Our omega,” He repeats, pressing his lips to yours. He waits to make sure you want it, he waits to feel you twist in their arms and reach up for him, and then he lets his body follow his thoughts, lips opening and his tongue dipping into your mouth.

Mingi’s hand shifts, spreading wide over your lower belly, his fingertips at the waistband of your pants. You’re not ready for that, and you hope he doesn’t notice the way you twitched in his hands when he first adjusted his grip, but either way he makes no move to take anything further. Neither of them do. Despite Yunho’s lips on yours, and the breath between you both, his hands stay put on your back and your cheek while Mingi just holds you, patient and soft at your side.

When your lips break from Yunho, settling back down your heels after pushing up on tiptoe, Mingi uses his grip on you to spin you to face him, his mouth finding yours with ease.

You hum pleasantly against his mouth, your hands gripping his broad shoulders for balance.

“Ours,” Mingi murmurs between kisses, and then his hands spread to your backside, maneuvering you up into his arms in one quick motion, “you’re ours,”

You wrap your legs around his middle and sink into the kiss, “I’m yours,”

“Fuck, I missed you,” He mumbles between kisses, nuzzling your cheek with his nose.

You nod against him, stealing one more kiss before you lean back, still perched comfortably with your legs around his waist. You smooth a hand over Mingi’s cheek and then reach for your other lover to bring him close, drawing him in by the hand until he’s nestled against both of your sides. Yunho’s hand reaches around to cup under your thigh and you settle your own hand on the back of Yunho’s neck, fingers stroking the shaggy bottom of his dark hair.

“This is nice,” Mingi smiles a little, eyes flicking between you and Yunho.

Yunho nods, his free hand settling on Mingi’s back.

“I can’t believe I convinced myself that we weren’t scent sympathetic,” You sigh a small, unfunny laugh, “this just feels so right,”

“Knowing it and knowing it are two different things,” Mingi says, emphasizing the word.

“I guess so,”

“And it’s not like all scent matches work out,” Yunho adds, “we still have to work at it,”

You nod, relaxing into their hold, “I want that,”

“We do too,” Mingi squeezes your thigh a little with his wide hand.

It’s funny how different it all feels now than months ago during your first panicked heat here, how settled you are with everything. You glance between them and ask the obvious, “When we go back to work, what are we this time?”

“Pack,” Mingi says easily and your head snaps to his, eyebrows high.

“Mingi,” You blink at him, surprised at his easy reference to such a permanent state of being. Scent matches and compatibility is one thing, but pack is something so much more. All of it flickers in your mind - claims, bonds, tying you together permanently.

“Someday,” Yunho interjects smoothly, giving you a soft, reassuring kiss to the head, “far in the future, if you’ll have us.”

“Someday,” The word slips out of you like an agreement, and despite all the fears shared with Wooyoung earlier, you do want them like that. You want to someday be able to give each other that.

“Then we’re pack,” Mingi lights up at your words, “officially, unofficially, I don’t care. You’re with us, we’re with you.”

Your body fills with warmth, but you can feel your heart rate picking up.

Yunho smiles, “What did they used to call that back in the day?”

“Courting,” You fill in the blank for him, and the word feels strangely old fashioned considering the fact that you’ve already spent a heat with them. When packs were more common, groups of alphas would court compatible omegas until it was sure they were a good match in more ways than just scent. The implication then was something more akin to a modern engagement and you can’t believe after everything you’ve been through with these two men, this is the conversation you’re having suddenly so casually in their kitchen.

“Well,” Yunho laughs, “we don’t have to call it that,”

“We’re,” You trail off, trying to find the words, “dating?”

“Partners?” Yunho offers a slightly less casual word.

“Together,” Mingi cuts in, “that’s what we are. We’re your alphas, we belong to you, and you,” he draws you closer in his arms to press a soft kiss on your lips, “are our omega.”

“And at work?” You trail off.

“We’ll be ourselves,” Yunho suggests, “people probably already know after last week anyways,”

Mingi nods, dipping forward and pressing a kiss to your lips, “No more pretending we don’t mean something to each other,”

“No more pretending,” You shift in his arms, wrapping your arms properly around his shoulders so that you’re hugging each other tightly.

Mingi hums appreciatively, his breath warm against your hair and then he chuckles a little as he readjusts you in his arms, “Is it too fast if I start calling you yeobo, though? I feel like it suits you,”

You pull back from the hug, “We’re not married, Mingi,” you remind him, “and I didn’t hear a proposal,”

“You want to get proposed to, baby?” He teases and you shove his chest.

“Knock it off,” Yunho smacks the back of Mingi’s head, “our relationship doesn’t have to break the sound barrier,”

“I’m kidding,” Mingi squeezes you, shifting to take a few steps and deposit you on the kitchen counter before stepping back with a quick peck on your lips.

“Hmm,” Yunho rolls his eyes and slumps back against the counter next to you, one wide hand smoothing over your thigh, “we just got you back, I’d like to avoid scaring you off,”

“I’m not scared,” You shake your head, and as you say it, you realize it’s true. Six months ago you would have balked at Mingi’s veiled promise of his intentions, you would have told them all their hormones were mixed up and confused. You would have told yourself the same. It feels strange to feel completely at peace with the idea of a real someday with them.

Yunho’s eyebrow quirks up in a question at your words and Mingi grins, a little self satisfied.

“Actually,” You exhale heavily and straighten up, “I talked to Wooyoung yesterday and he helped me figure some things out,”

“Things?” Mingi asks.

“Um,” Your pounds in your chest, “yeah,”

Yunho gives you an encouraging squeeze to keep going.

You meet his eyes and take the leap, “Can you make that call? For me to talk with someone?”

He softens and nods, “I’ll do it first thing,”

“Okay,” You say, taking another deep breath, “then there’s one more thing to tell you,”

Mingi doesn’t say anything, but he steps back closer to you, resting his hand on your opposite thigh.

“It’s my turn to ask you to be patient,” You give them both an anxious, close lipped smile.

“We’re listening,” Mingi soothes you.

“Okay,” You take both their hands in yours, “here goes. The idea of bonding with you both is kind of sending me into a tailspin right now, and I’m terrified that it’s something I’m never going to get over. Wooyoung told me to talk to someone to work through that and I want to. I thought about it all day, and the truth is that I want to be with you both for as long as you’ll have me. You feel like you’re mine, now more than ever, and I’m scared, but I’m also scared of not trying,”

“And if I can be yours like this for now,” You continue, “without bonds like you said, pack even if it’s unofficial, then maybe I can work through this and make it official someday. I’m just scared your definition of ‘far in the future’ and my definition are different though, and I,”

“Fuck bonds,” Mingi interrupts, moving to cup both your cheeks and draw your eyes to his, “that shit doesn’t matter to me at all. We’re together by choice, not by claim. If you want my bite someday, I’ll give it to you, but you won’t ever hear me ask, alright? Never.”

“Me too,” Yunho’s hand brushes down your hair, coming to rest on the back of your neck, “as far as I’m concerned it’s secondary, I don’t care what anyone thinks. I’d sooner leave you than push you into a bond you aren’t ready for,”

You jolt forwards, throwing an arm around each of their shoulders and nearly slipping off the counter when you do, but they hold you steady as you pull them in.

“We just want you,” Mingi’s rough, low voice murmurs, “just this.”

You feel their warmth, the steady thrum of each of their heartbeats, their scents curling around you like a safe, easy memory. The words find themselves right on the tip of your tongue again, only this time, this time they come.

“I love you,” You take in a sharp, emotional breath as you get yourself together, overwhelmed by their words, “I love you both so much,”

Yunho dips back to find your mouth, locking his lips on yours and sighing a breath of true relief against your mouth, “I love you too, sweetheart,”

Mingi redirects your gaze with his fingers on your jaw the moment Yunho starts to lean back and he kisses you hard, leaving you gripping his shirt for balance, “I love you,”

“God,” You smile, every part of your body alight with joy, “I think we might be crazy, but I don’t care,”

“Good,” Yunho glances between you both, “because I think I’m having a crazy idea,”

“What idea?”

“Move in,” He blurts out, and he can’t stop smiling, “fuck giving you a key, fuck calling you our girlfriend. Move in properly, be ours. If we’re together, let’s be together, we’ve lost enough time,”

“Who’s moving fast now?” Mingi says, but he’s smiling too.

Everything in your body feels right, feels safe. You’ve been calling this home for days, and you’ve been calling them yours in your head for so much longer.

You’re nodding before your mouth can catch up with your brain, “Okay, okay, yes, let’s do it,”

Yunho pulls you up into his arms and holds you close, peppering kisses across your temple, “We’ll figure everything else out later, but at least we’ll be together,”

“Thank God,” You melt into his embrace, meeting Mingi’s eyes over Yunho’s shoulder, “because I really didn’t want to leave,”

“No leaving this time,” Mingi smiles softly as Yunho nods his head against yours.

“Mm-mm,” You shake your head, agreeing with his words.

“We’ll get everything from your place as soon as we can, make it official,” Mingi adds.

You nod, and then a thought occurs to you, “Is there even enough room for me here?”

Yunho unwraps himself from around you and nods, “We’ll need a bigger bed,”

“For a start,” Mingi nods, “and you need a nest,”

“Yeah?” Your very own nest, a real one.

“Oh, babe,” Mingi finds your hand, tugging you in, “you’re about to get fucking spoiled, anything you want, we’ll figure it out.”

“You don’t have to, I just want to be here,” You tell them.

“Doesn’t matter,” Yunho says, “we’ve waited for you for so long,”

“Too long,” Mingi wraps his arms around you both, “way too long,”

It doesn’t matter anymore what pushed you into their arms, what kind of day you’ve had, everything you’ve had to get through. Not a thing in the world matters but this choice, the safe home of their arms, three of you against the world like it was always meant to be.

#this night together fic #honeyhotteoks fics #honeyhotteoks updates #ateez fic #ateez ff #ateez series #yunho x reader #mingi x reader #yungi x reader #yunho fic #yunho ff #mingi fic #mingi ff #yungi fic #yungi ff #yungi series

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lewisvinga · 6 days

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born to die | fernando alonso x fem! reader

summary: after their engagement, y/n realized her and fernando may have different views of the future. it makes her wonder if they were really born to die.

warnings; age gap, cursing, angst/fluff

word count; 1.28k

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03

note; and this is it u guyssss🥹 i enjoyed this series sm and i’m so thankful 4 everyone who read n enjoyed it<33 im gonna miss it sm but keep a look out for my next music f1 series 😁

‘born to die’ series masterlist !

masterlist !

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“But are you really ready to settle down?” Y/b/f asked Y/n during their biweekly brunch dates. The topic of marriage came about after due to Y/n started wedding planning a few months after being engaged.

Her best friend knew her more than anyone. They grew up together. So Y/b/f knows that Y/n never wanted to settle down so quickly. She knew that she wanted to spend her 20s having fun and completing her master's.

Marrying someone who is already in their 40s and wants to settle down as soon as possible meant there was a conflict between their futures.

“I mean, not yet.” Y/n sighed, grasping into the cup of tea as she shrugged. “I love Fernando, I do. I don’t want kids yet. I want to wait a few years and-“

“But does he know that? That’s a man who wants to settle down already and have a house in the countryside. That’s a man who wants children soon.” Y/b/f interrupted her, genuine concern written all over her face. “He’s a great guy and I love that he makes you happy but is that what you really want? Having kids means giving up a lot and you know that I know that.” She added about her own child. “And He just signed another contract with Aston Martin. If you do have kids, he won’t be around to help you much.”

Y/n let out a groan, running her hands over her face. “I was lost before I met him. I was so confused as a little child but he gave me a sense of meaning. I love Nando, I truly do. But It’s just,” She sighed. She looks out the window of the restaurant and watches busy people walking down the sidewalks. “Now that I think about it, we view the next 5 years completely differently.”

Y/b/f reaches out and grabs her hand, forcing Y/n to look back at her. “Just think about it, okay? I love you and I just want the absolute best for you.”

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Y/n sat on the top step of the front patio of her shared home with Fernando, staring out onto the gloomy skies. Despite it being sunny when she was at brunch, by the time she got home it was drizzling. However, the rain usually calmed her and in a moment where she was deep in her thoughts, she definitely needed to be calmed.

She was so lost in her thoughts of her future that she didn’t notice her fiancé’s Aston Martin pulling up to the driveway. The Spaniard was confused as to why his fiancée was sitting on the patio with a sad look on her face.

“What’s wrong, mi amor?” He asked. He sat down next to her and caressed her arm. Hearing the concern laced in his voice was the triggering act for her.

“Do you think this is the right time for us to get married?” Y/n asked, keeping her eyes on her fiddling fingers. She hears Fernando’s breath hitch as he sits up straight.

“Why do you think that?”

“Fernando, you’re older than me, like a lot older and-“

“You just noticed?” He asked in a teasing tone in hopes to lighten the mood a bit.

She just sighed in response and crossed her arms over her chest. “Fernando, we both have different views of the next 5 to 10 years and you know that. I’m still young. I want to go out and party and enjoy my life. I just started my master's degree. But I know you want to retire in a few years. I know you want to have kids as soon as possible and settle down. But I-“

Y/n takes a deep breath as she glances up at her fiancé. “I don’t want that. Not yet at least. Not until I finish my master's. I don’t want to settle down just yet. Y/b/f had to stop so many things when she had her son. It makes me wonder if we’re really meant to be. Maybe you and I, we were born to die.”

Fernando’s minute of silence made her heart drop. He looked like he was lost in his thoughts, similar to how she was moments prior. “What are you even talking about, Y/n? We were born to die? Come on, mi amor!” He exclaimed, standing up to his feet. Her eyebrows furrowed up as she copied him by also getting on her feet, ignoring how the rain began to come down harder.

“Maybe it’s true, Fernando!”

“It’s bullshit.” He let out a laugh as he ran his hand over his beard. “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s bullshit. Yes, we’re different ages. The road gets tough, it happens and I don’t know why, but we carry on. That doesn’t mean we’re born to die. Come on!” He continued, his eyebrows furrowed up.

“Are you even listening-“

“I am and what you’re saying is bullshit like I said!” Fernando responds, taking a step closer to her. “Amor, yes, I want children. Yes, I dream of us one day living on the coasts of Spain with our kids but that doesn’t mean I want it right away. I want you to achieve your degree. I want you to enjoy yourself first because it’s not up to me when we have kids. It’s all you.”

“Yeah, but-“

“What do I have to do to prove this to you?”

Y/n raised her eyebrows in confusion as she tilted her head. “What do you mean ‘prove’ it to me?” She asked, confused by his words.

He takes a step back with a shrug. “Prove that I don’t care if you want to wait to have kids. Prove that I wanna marry you because I love you, not to settle down.”

“Well, you don’t need to prove-“ She pauses in her words when she sees him take a step down. She lets out a sigh, her hands falling to rest by her side. She knew immediately by the glint in his eyes what he wanted to do. “Fernando, no. You’re going to get sick.”

He takes another step down.

“Fernando, stop that!”

He takes one step back and is immediately met with the pouring rain. In seconds, his clothes and hair were drenched but he didn’t care. Not one bit.

“Fernando, come back! The longer you stay there the more likely you’ll be sick.” She scolded him but he simply smiled in reply.

“I’m not leaving unless you join me.”

Y/n crosses her arms, glaring at Fernando who keeps smiling. She let out a sigh of defeat as she took a couple steps down the stairs and made it out into the rain. He immediately pulls her close by her waist. She lets out a yelp and balances herself by holding onto his shoulders.

“I love you and I want to marry you, mi amor. I don’t mind waiting 5, 10, even 15 years for us to have kids and ‘settle’ down.” He loudly says over the sound of the rain hitting the pavement. “I just want you.”

She laughs in disbelief, resting her forehead against his chest. “We can figure it all out later, right?”

“It’s just you and me right now, mi amor,” Fernando says. He cups Y/n’s face with one hand, forcing her to look up. He took a second to admire her features and her messed-up makeup from the rain. He leans down, kissing her hard in the pouring rain. Her previous thoughts immediately washed away the moment she felt his lips on her. Maybe they weren’t born to die.

#formula one x reader #f1 x reader #f1 scenario #formula one scenarios #f1 imagine #formula one imagines #formula one imagine #f1 scenarios #fernando alonso scenarios #fernando alonso x reader #fernando alonso imagine

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tenpintsof-sundrop · 5 months

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My Top 10 Fics Of 2023

So, because it is the 'wrapped' time of year where everyone looks back on their year through playlists and other types of stats - I thought that I would look back on my year through something completely nonobjective and based on exactly 0 data - my favourite fics I have written this year that are based completely on my personal enjoyment of them.

Last year, I did something similar to this where I counted down the top ten fics based completely on data - how many notes each fic had gotten on tumblr. But most of the posts were shorter fics that I hadn't spent a lot of time working on that I wasn't very proud of. (Like the fact that my current most popular fanfic on my sideblog for fanfiction is the shortest in word count.) So I have decided to go over the fics that are the most popular in my heart - countdown style.

This year I have written 39 different fics and I have written over 395,000 words, and these are my favourite fics that I have written.

Honorable Mentions:

Black Suit - Emily Prentiss x Fem!Reader (2,900 words). One of the most well-rounded fics I have written in such a short word count. And just - look at her.

My Bleeding Heart - Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader (3,400 words). I have never used Death Eaters as the basis for angst in a fic and I had so much fun with it. Plus the kidfic fluff at the end was really fun too.

IFHY (I Fucking Hate You) - Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader (8,100 words). So @holy-minseok made a post about how there isn't enough fics with reader characters that aren't nice and sweet and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. Because I have so many fics with rude, toxic readers and this is absolutely one of them. This reader is a Grade A Bitch and that's a huge reason why I had so much fun writing it.

Better Than Sleeping - Jason Todd x Fem!Reader (5,300 words). This is some of the best quality smut I have written this year, hands down.

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (8,200 words). I love writing fics based on specific episodes of a show, and this definitely helped to fulfil my whump quota for the year.

Sweet Revenge - Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader (16,200 words). This is a fic that definitely converted me from a hardcore Abby girl into an Ellie girl. I am very proud of it. (And eventually I became an EllAbs girl, as god intended.)

Free Use Day - Poly!OG!Titans x Fem!Reader (14,300 words). This is probably my most epic and honorable of the honorable mentions. This is the first time in years that I have written such a long pwp, and it's written about some of my ult favs. So I fucking love it. (It came so, so close to making the top ten.)

(Now, onto the top ten.)

The Top Ten:

10. Dreaming Of You - Gar Logan x Fem!Mute!Reader (31,300 words)

You and Gar have been best friends for a long time. Nothing could disrupt the harmony of such a perfect friendship. Nothing except maybe… your usually predictable powers going haywire and somehow showing you all of his heated daydreams about you. But he couldn’t possibly have romantic feelings for you. He couldn’t possibly want anything more than your close platonic friendship and the occasional steamy fantasy. Right? Gar Logan x Fem!Mute!Powered!Reader. Best Friends to Lovers. Smut and (Slight) Angst. Set during Season 2.

At first I wasn't even sure if I should put this one on the list, because it's technically a re-post, but I was like fuck it, I make the rules here. And the reason it's at 10 is because technically I wrote most of this in 2021 originally (though it feels like longer ago than that omg), but this year I heavily updated the fic, including writing some new scenes for it that flesh it out very nicely. To me, this is everything a good re-post should be. It cleans up what was already there and amazing about the fic and it enhances it so much.

I loved the concept of this fic from its core, and now I get to be so, so proud of the way I have enhanced it years later. To me, this will always be my core Gar fic (as much as I will always write more for him) - and it is something I am truly, genuinely proud of. If you love Gar and you love smutty fantasies involving him, I highly recommend checking this fic out.

9. No Brainer - Derek Cho x Fem!Reader x Melanie Cross (Mayhem (2017)) (7,100 words)

When the ID-7 Virus, aka the Red Eye Virus hits Towers and Smythe Consulting, it throws the entire office building into chaos. With a mandatory quarantine from the CDC in action, that chaos builds in on itself, and somehow, you, Derek, and Melanie get everything that you want. aka You have something Derek and Melanie need. Derek and Melanie have something you want. You all agree to make an exchange, and everyone ends up more than happy. Derek Cho (Steven Yeun) x Fem!Reader x Melanie Cross (Samara Weaving). Co-Works to Lovers. Smut. Based on the film Mayhem from 2017.

This is one of my personal favourite fics of mine that I believe very few people following me have ever read. I absolutely love writing fics based on random one-off horror movies - I have way more in my drafts, and one of my goals for 2024 is to complete and post more of them. But one night I was laying in bed and I randomly watched this film because I knew Steven Yeun was in it. I had seen a lot of clips of him covered in blood and yelling, and I found him really hot in those clips, so I knew that I would enjoy the film. And I absolutely fucking did. Not just based on his hotness, but just - the entire film was so, so enjoyable.

Also, the ID-7 Virus, a fictional sickness that lowers your inhibitions (something that is shown in the film to work like sex pollen) is the perfect basis for a fic. So I literally started writing this on my phone before I had even finished watching the film. And I posted it a few days later. I think it's just pure fun. One of my favourite things to write about is a healthy combination of horror and sex, and this is definitely toeing the line perfectly in my opinion. If you haven't seen the film, I highly recommend it - watch it, and then come back and read this fic.

8. My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon - Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader (9,600 words)

Ellie confronts your abuser, and after years of torment, you finally feel free. Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader. Strangers to Lovers. Hurt and Comfort.

This is a fic that is very close to my heart. Not only is named after a tragically underrated Fall Out Boy B-Side, one of my favourite songs ever, but it is a fic about conquering the abuse of a family member - and when I wrote this, it was coming from a place of the utmost sincerity.

I am someone who has experienced abuse from a family member, and it felt so entirely empowering to write this - to write about someone coming to your rescue so honestly. Someone rescuing you out of pure want, not because it's an obligation or a burden. But because they are compelled by their own morals and they feel that your abuse is a cruel injustice against the world. This and the companion fic I wrote for Abby with a similar storyline are two of the most important fics that I have written this year.

7. Ghosting - Mike Schmidt x Fem!Reader (3,700 words)

Mike has been in love with you for as long as he can remember. For about as long as the two of you have been best friends. He always thought he would have more time to work up to confessing those big, dangerous feelings for you - until something more dangerous swooped in and stole any time he had left with you. Mike Schmidt x Fem!Reader. Star-Crossed Lovers. Pure Angst. Set during the events of the movie (and features spoilers for the plot).

I feel like this list would be incomplete if I didn't pick at least one of the FNAF fics that I wrote (and two of them ended up on here). With how much it was delayed, it was actually wild to see the FNAF Movie actually come to life before our very eyes, and it was amazing to actually write some fics about it. This is the first time (in a very long time) that I have written pure angst with no sense of fluff at the ending, and it was actually so much fun - it's fun to give into the darker side of a fic, and to write about the most torturous human emotions with absolutely no relief.

Also, I think dying in someone's arms (especially holding your lover or your would-be lover) is such a compelling trope and I loved writing about it. This was so much fun for me to write, and it was something so interesting to explore aside from the usual smut that I write.

6. From Your Lips - Jennifer Jareau x GN!Reader (3,000 words)

After JJ is attacked by dogs on the Hankle farm, everyone is busy worrying about Reid’s missing status, but you take the time to check on JJ and try your best to calm her flustered mind. Jennifer Jareau x Gender Neutral Reader. Friends with Benefits. Smut and Angst. Set during Season 2, Episode 15.

This year, I had another large foray into the Criminal Minds fandom, and I wrote a JJ fic for the first time. And just in general, I am so proud of this fic. I think even for a short fic, it has such a great essence - again, I love setting fics during specific episodes, and I found it so fun to play around with the religious imagery and the religious themes already in this episode, as well as the imagery of rabid dogs.

To me, this is what truly makes fanfiction great - taking details of the canon, chewing them up like bubblegum and then adding something else in to make them your own. I had so much fun writing this fic, 10/10.

5. Love From The Other Side (aka The Golf Club Fic) - Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader (5,600 words)

Abby kills the man that has been haunting your nightmares for years. You find it only fitting to give her a proper reward. Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut. Set during The Last of Us Part II. (aka - the fic where Abby fucks the reader's pussy with the golf club that she used to kill Joel.)

So, as you will notice with this fic and the next one, 2023 was the year I truly said fuck it. There used to be a time when I was afraid to admit my weirder kinks and fantasies (like, I used to be afraid to even say that I read A/B/O), but then I realized that this is the freak-nasty website. And way too many people are shy. So I must be the one to provide the freak-nasty fics.

This is a fic I had in mind since the very first time I watched TLOU2 gameplay. And originally, it was going to be a simple, purely pornopraphic fic about Abby fucking the reader with the golf club - but as I was writing it, it turned into something that I find oddly beautiful. And (again, just like with the next fic) I find that writing about kinks in long-term relationships, especially the kind of relationships that have come to be co-dependent - it's like writing this toxic, cathartic poetry.

It's writing about two people who need each other but can be so horrible for each other - and it is one of my favourite things to write about because it's so damn interesting. This was a slay, and generally awesome because it was getting out an idea that's been in my head for years.

4. Damn The Man, Save The Empire - Vanessa Shelly x GN!Reader (6,100 words)

Vanessa has always taken care of you. Since the two of you were kids, she has put her neck on the line for you, and you rarely knew how to return that epic kindness. One night, while both of you are raw and on-edge, the dark cloud of your strange past looming over both of you nearly swallows both of you whole - and once again, Vanessa is right there, taking care of you. (Dark)Dom!Vanessa Shelly x Sub!Gender Neutral Reader. Toxic Co-Dependent Relationship. Smut and Angst. Takes place before the main timeline of the film (features spoilers for the movie).

Again, like I said with the previous fic - this was one of my favourite fics to write because it is so delightfully unhinged. I really enjoy exploring toxic relationships through fiction because - for one, writing healthy, functioning relationships is not always interesting. And there is something so beautifully dark and poetic about writing two people who have grown into each other like twisted tree branches and need each other, but are so bad for each other.

And this year I have been exploring gender neutral smut a lot more. I used to always write fem reader smut as my default, but I have been having a lot of fun with the creativity of writing smut without describing the reader's body in detail. I love coming up with metaphors and describing around the body parts. I find it to be a fun creative challenge. Anyway - this was a lot of fun to write, and I highly recommend it if you enjoy reading darker fics.

3. Lessons For A Genius (Lesson One) - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (17,200 words)

What could a certified genius possibly have to learn from someone like you? Turns out - a hell of a lot. And the real ‘teaching’ started when your graphic explanations of slang toward Spencer for the sheer shock value of it turned into something a lot more… hands on. Sub!Spencer Reid x (BAU)Dom!Fem!Reader. Co-Workers to Friends with Benefits. Smut. Set during early Season 2.

I feel like it would be a miss to make this list without mentioning a fic that I obsessed over for two weeks straight - a fic that drove me insane in the best way. Of course, there is also the sequel, but I personally prefer the first lesson. This fic has been brewing in my mind for a very long time, because it is painfully obvious to me that Spencer (in the early seasons) is an awkward virgin, and I have always wanted to ruin him.

This fic is a lot of my fantasies brought to life, and I feel like it's a really masterful painting of those fantasies - for once, without overly focusing on the murder mystery aspect of Criminal Minds fanfiction (which I have a tendency to get distracted by). I am really, really proud of this fic, and I know you guys enjoyed it. It is definitely a highlight of my writing this year.

2. Emergency Contact - Jason Todd x GN!Reader (10,500 words)

After Jason miraculously comes home from his brush with Deathstroke, you’re both feeling it in very different ways. You have an unexpected physical wound from the battle, and he has many (very expected) emotional wounds. You help each other heal. Even if it’s very stubborn on both your parts. Jason Todd x GN!Powered!Reader. Enemies/FWB to Lovers. Angst and Hurt/Comfort. (Slight Smut). Set during Season 2, Episode 5.

This is a fic I have talked about a lot recently, because I have been working on the sequel. (I was hoping to get the sequel finished and posted before the end of December, but it's gonna be a longer fic, so it's looking like it's gonna be one of the first fics of January instead.) Anyway - to me, this is by far one of my best fics and one of my most important fics of 2023. This was battling for the top spot.

But even if it's second place, I am so incredibly proud of this fic. I think it's beautifully written, I am incredibly proud of the literary references I worked in with The Great Gatsby - especially because I feel like Jason would be the type to read Gatsby and compare himself to someone tragic and doomed like Gatsby (he would soo compare himself to Gatsby, especially because he was also a poor kid who was randomly sponsored by a rich man who saw potential in him). Overall, I just had a very distinct vision when writing the fic, and that vision came to life. And I really, really hope that my vision comes to life in the sequel too.

1. King For A Day - Poly!Golden Trio x Fem!Reader (22,400 words)

You have always had a special relationship with Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and the one and only Harry Potter. When you set out to help them find and destroy Lord Voldemort’s Horcruxes, it seems that your intimate knowledge of them is the one thing keeping them together - until the unique dynamic shifts, thanks to one of those pesky pieces of dark magic. Angry voices carry, and it turns out - moans of pleasure do too. Poly!Golden Trio x Fem!Reader (Fem!Reader x Harry Potter x Ron Weasley x Hermione Granger). FWB to Poly Lovers. Smut (with a slight bit of Angst). Set during Deathly Hallows.

And finally, we get to my favourite fic of the year!!

So, I'm gonna be honest, a huge reason that this fic gets the top slot is because of my nostalgia for Harry Potter. This year was the first time in a long time that I have written Harry Potter fanfiction, and it felt like a reawakening of my soul. I was genuinely happy, and I was spending time enjoying concepts and characters that I have not thought about for a long time.

This fic in particular, I feel like I have been working on it for years in my mind. This fic is a culmination of all my thoughts about these characters, all my time in the Harry Potter fandom, and generally, I am so, so proud of it. I am proud that my love for Harry Potter has come to fruition in this form - a poly smut fic, something that is just so me.

Overall - I had such a great year chasing fic ideas that make me happy, despite the popularity of the characters or the fandoms, and I encourage you guys to spend 2024 doing the same. Cheers!

#sundrop speaks #fanfiction #gar logan x reader #emily prentiss x reader #draco malfoy x reader #abby anderson x reader #jason todd x reader #ellie williams x reader #spencer reid x reader #mike schmidt x reader #jennifer jareau x reader #vanessa shelly x reader

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