#Its a broken mirror and you see your 'demon' in it cliche

[1captainjordan4]

A battle with yourself

What do you mean Joels lore isnt that deep? Im digging man

[pink-ink-goblin]

Mirror, Mirror

(Welcome to the beginning of the end my friends! This was completely and totally inspired by @endlcss-possibilities imagine. I tried to stay as close as I could to your imagine and feel like I’ve failed miserably in aspects. I also apologize if there’s some choppiness to it. I haven’t written an action driven horror scene in some time, but I hope you all enjoy the cliche, spooky fun nonetheless!)

Chapter 2

Chapter One

It had all been like a dream up until that point, his world nothing but a warm haze of fuzzy, warped halls filled with shadows that seemed to ebb and flow like water. His head felt thick, heavy, making his movements sluggish and automatic as his body guided him slowly away from his room and into a place he was almost intimately familiar with.

A place he knew he should not be.

It had started, as most things often do, with a simple locked door. One that was unassuming and even strangely bland against the lavish decorum that surrounded it. The same one that, naturally, lead to the basement, and when prompted about its locked nature the castle owners confirmed that it was just full of old furniture. Nothing of consequence, and definitely nothing to concern themselves over considering there were more rooms in the whole building than all of them put together. It was an easy explanation, and after being denied the key (in interest of getting a good spooky shot for their project) they forgot the door quickly in favor of eagerly starting to film.

But that was when little things began to slowly make themselves known. They were only a day in and not a single one of them had slept. It was odd, and made things hard to set up, and even more difficult to act around, but easy enough to chalk up to the new, unfamiliar environment. But then it kept happening again and again. It wasn’t long before everyone was exhausted, tempers were flaring, some equipment had broken, and generally afterwards, more often than not, he found himself face down on the den couch, his mind racing but his thoughts too quick to catch.

These were the times when he would make attempts to catch up on sleep, but even just napping was difficult. He wasn’t sure about anyone else, but when he did find sleep, it was only plagued with nightmares and demons that had, on more than one occasion, followed him into the waking world and chased him from his room in blind panic. And to make it worse, he seemed to have taken to sleepwalking.

Sometimes he would come to in the kitchen, leaning against the sink and just staring blankly out the window. Sometimes, he would be outside, at the edge of the pool, one step away from just walking in. But most disturbingly often, he would find himself in the lone hall in the west wing, in front of that locked basement door, one hand on the handle as if about to open it. He wasn’t sure why or what compelled him, but he would always give it a test wiggle before he let go. And every time, it was the same. Locked.

He wasn’t sure anymore if that was comforting, or frustrating.

And now he found himself in the same position again, but this time he was strangely somewhat aware of it. His breaths were slow, barely audible, even in the dead stillness, leaving his parted lips in deep, soft huffs. His eyes, half-lidded and surrounded by the beginnings of dark sleepless circles, stared straight ahead at his goal unwaveringly, his body finally lurching to a stop in the one place he so often found himself during their stay. Right in front of the door.

Except now it was open.

He stared down the stairway that led into the inky abyss absently, hands limp at his sides. There was a hesitation, as if some part of him were somehow still cognizant that this could not possibly be natural, but every red flag that should have popped up at such a sight did not seem to raise, and without warning he found himself walking through, something cold and numb tightening at the base of his skull as he passed the threshold.

It ate away at him like a sickness. A mantra on repeat in his head. He had to know. He needed to know. It had been dominating his waking thoughts, and invading his nightmares. It was all he could ever think about anymore, and the only way to finally shut it up was to find out why.

Each wooden stair creaked dangerously, screaming at him that every step could be his last, as his fingers reached out to brush lightly against the wall where a safety rail should be, feeling but not quite registering the rough gaps in between each wooden beam as he descended. It was such a stark contrast to the well kept upstairs, only adding to the sense of abandonment the basement gave off.

He only knew he was at the bottom when his next step wasn’t met with the aching groan of old wood, his footfalls instead accompanied with the near inaudible patter of his socks on the cool concrete. The air was musty and lukewarm, thick with dust and something else chemical that was lost on him in his half aware state. He had no idea where he was going, yet something compelled him all the same, both guiding him and suppressing all other thoughts. The base of his skull twinged again, sending a cold prickling tingle down his spine, but this time, instead of pressing forward, he paused.

He seemed to be hovering between realities, eyes lost in the middle distance, as if his soul was floating somewhere over his body instead of within, just barely still attached. It left everything surreal, and he swallowed thickly, teetering just on the edge of wakefulness the way one does in a dream just before they start to fall.

THUMP

He came back to awareness with a gasp, going rigid as his tunnel vision expanded and his world bled back into place. His breaths quickened, heart leaping into his throat as he whipped around, suddenly realizing that he was lost in the darkness in the depths of a basement in which he should not even be.

As he back-stepped frantically, he bumped into something large and somewhat rough, pushing off it in fear only to run into something much smaller that he nearly knocked over, the object rocking loudly in the dead stillness as it made wooden taps that grew more rapid and quiet until it settled once more, allowing an unnatural and terrifying silence to reign once more.

As he tried to calm himself, taking deep, steadying breaths only to nearly choke on the stale air, his leg brushed against another object and he felt something shift in his pocket. Reaching in a hand, he joyously realized that he still had his phone, and with a few flicks, his camera light suddenly cut through the darkness, making him shield his eyes at the sudden stinging brightness until they could adjust.  

And when they did, he realized with horror that he stood amidst a sea of white cloth covered objects, somehow smackdab in the center.

He wasn’t sure what to do, frozen by the influx of sensory information his brain tried to process all at once. He wanted to leave, run upstairs and forget everything, but at the same time, he could still feel that damning compulsion pulling in him to know. That deep wonderance within him that choked his thoughts at all hours. The idea that just maybe if he satisfied that curiosity, he could focus on other tasks once more.

It was stupid, he knew, to even consider remaining, and, as he placed a clammy on his pounding temple, it felt like he was fighting that thought much harder than he should need to, the intrusiveness and insistence of it feeling less and less like it had come from him.

And as he fought to decide his fate, he heard the soft hiss of fabric slowly slipping immediately to his left.

Whipping around, he looked just in time to catch sight of the last of the cloth sliding off of the object he almost knocked over, disappearing behind it and momentarily blinding him as something flashed in his vision. When he flinched, turning to shield himself from it, he realized that it had been a reflection of his light, and when he refocused, taking care not to blind himself again, he came face to face with his own reflection on an old antique vanity that wouldn’t have looked out of place in the backstage area of an old Broadway show. It was missing a few bulbs here and there around the somewhat clear mirror, and it looked like it had taken a beating worthy of what generally happened in a backstage area, but it still looked potentially usable if given to the proper person to restore it.

Or as a film prop.

He shook his head. That thought was just asking for trouble. But all the same, he couldn’t shake the potential. There were a million ‘what if’s fighting for dominance in his mind, and before he knew it, he had walked over and grabbed another dust cover at random, giving it a gentle tug.

It fell away slowly, trailing through his fingers until it was completely claimed by the floor. He stepped back to get a better look and realized that it was yet another mirror, but this time it was a full body one, surrounded by light oak and set upon wheels for easy positioning. The mirror had cracked, a few large pieces lost to both time and probably travel, but it still reflected where it could just the same.

He had the presence of mind to wonder about the oddness of it, the out of place and bland look it had in comparison to the grand - and somewhat gaudy - atmosphere the upstairs held. It was curious, but his attention for it was quickly lost as he reached out to grab another cloth next to it.

Suddenly, something curled in the back of his mind, something frigid and clawed, raking nails against the back of his skull with a gentleness unbefitting of such a feeling. He shivered and felt his focus drop, hand falling with it.

It was like something had whispered to him, and yet no words had been exchanged, but he understood it all the same. It seemed to come from a direction, and he blindly allow it to pull him, seeing dark grey shapes pass him in the corners of his eyes as he made his way to the back wall.

Something slowly made itself apparent as he approached, a mess of cloth with something rather flat underneath, and he crouched in front of it, fingers digging in has he took a fist full of musty cloth, and gently pulled it aside.

Another mirror, but nothing like the others.

It was of medium size and, almost Victorian in appearance, set with not one, but five different reflective panels, four of which were of a smaller size in comparison to the main mirror and separated by lines of design. The metal it was encased in was vermeil, old gold-pressed silver with branch and leaf designs that trailed along all sides. It was in pristine condition, not a spot of tarnish to be seen, which was odd given that it seemed no one had been down here to care for it in years. Especially since all the other mirrors easily displayed their own respective wears of time.

As he traced his fingers across the smooth - almost too smooth - patterns, he realized it was probably meant to be hung on the wall, and when he squinted, he could see two nails just above it. It must have been the source of the loud thump he had heard earlier, but how it hadn’t broken from the fall was beyond him.

Setting down his phone so that it shone upward, he gently gripped the sides of the mirror and raised it up, finding it much lighter than he expected it to be. He paused for a moment to look at his reflection, taking in his bed messy hair and the beginnings of dark circles under his eyes. He sighed, feeling exhaustion pulling at him just from seeing the way everything was wearing him down.

He let loose a long and tired sigh, reaching up to hook the expensive-looking thing back in its place, and as he stepped back to ensure it was straight, unsure of why he was bothering, he saw something suddenly fly by in the reflection behind him. Something soundless, shapeless, and darker than the black that already surrounded him..

Suddenly more alert than he had been all night, he whipped around frantically, snatching up his phone and shining the light every which way to catch even a glimpse of what that could have been. And when nothing stood out amidst the sea of white sheet covered furniture, he resolved to cover everything back up, get the hell back upstairs and do his best to forget ever coming down there. But when he reached down to grab the protective cover for the vermeil mirror, he heard a rippling noise off to his right, the sound of a moderate breeze rustling one of the covers for only a breath’s time.

“Tyler? Ethan?” Well and truly startled now, his aggression rose to mix with his panic and make him angrily cry, “This isn’t fucking funny!”

He listened hard for anything, footsteps, breaths, giggles, anything to give away his tormentor, but nothing made itself known until he heard a…

Tap tap tap…

It was a gentle sound, almost like a drop of water from a leaky pipe, but no where near as constant. It was sharper than that, and seemed to only come in threes.

Tap tap tap…

Stifling his panicked breaths with his hand, he listened as hard as he could, turning slowly to try and help pinpoint the noise directionally.

Tap tap tap…

As he turned, he noticed it getting more and more distinct until he realized he was facing…

The mirror.

He only got a glimpse of something dark from within the ornate reflection before, with a strangled gasp, he turned and ran for the door. He was on the bottom step when he heard some kind of wind pick up from behind him, flapping all the fabric and rising to whip past him like a storm. He saw the door begin to sway and nearly choked on his heart when he thought it would close. He was inches away, hand reaching for the handle when he felt it.

Something cold wrapped around his ankle.

His scream was interrupted as his chin slammed into the top step, the tug sending him tumbling the rest of the way down the stairs - elbow, knees, back and head slamming into each step - until he rolled to a stop in the middle of the room. He lay on his back, dazed, hurt, and with the sharp taste of iron on his tongue.

As his wits slowly returned to him, he was met with the sound of slipping cloth all around him; something tugging each and every one away quickly and violently. With difficulty, he struggled to sit up just as the last one fell away, revealing the entire room to be filled with nothing but mirrors of all types. Mounted, swiveling, hanging, large, and small…

And every single one was facing him.

He could still hear that tapping growing louder and louder, only now, it was coming from inside all the mirrors, accompanied by a harsh ringing that seemed to come from within his own head.

He rolled to his side, trying to stand when a burning pain in his leg brought him right back down. His breaths came fast and desperate as he looked to his only escape in vain just in time to see it slam closed, taking with it the last of his light.

No one even heard him scream.

[cupidsbower]

Making the most of teachable moments

Supernatural 12x12, “Stuck in the Middle (With You).”

Anon, a few days ago, you asked me, “Why drop the 'I love you' bomb right now? What do you think?” and lo, I have remembered, and actually have an answer for you! It’s all about the teachable moments, you see.

This isn’t the first time the show has used the phrase “teachable moment.” Way back in season 9, I believe, Dick Roman had a gross teachable moment that involved auto-cannibalism -- I didn’t watch that season (for which I’m newly grateful, because ewwwww), so I’m relying on transcripts and whatnot (I think elizabethrobertajones mentioned it in her meta too, which I haven’t finished reading yet). But anyway, as Dean tells us, teachable moments are important.

I mean, obviously he was being a little shit at the time, but what Dean says is nearly always Significant, and so it is here.

So, how do we recognise a teachable moment?

Recognize that your children often learn moral lessons unconsciously, in casual moments.

Be aware of situations that represent moral choices.

Talk with your children about the ethical challenges represented in everyday situations, the media and popular culture.

Praise your children for their ethical choices.

Point out ethical behavior in others.

Let your children see your own thought processes regarding ethical decisions. (x)

We have several different teachable moments in the episode, although I think it’s debatable that anyone learned anything from them (apart from Castiel).

All of these moments, Anon, are about love.

The episode opens with Mary and Mr Ketch, although we don’t know it’s Mary he’s talking to at first. Just that he asks for a story, a deliberate incongruous way of asking for a report, invoking bedtime stories which often have a moral to them.

In the background, we have a cliched be-bop song about true love, as “sweet as an angel.”

Lover Boy, by Toodlum Barker & Emil Lomax 

Put it all together, and we have the past raising its head. John is being evoked. Mary is still missing him, missing being a wife and partner, and loved by someone that doesn’t expect her to mother them. With hindsight, it’s obvious this is invoking John because by the end we know the McGuffin of the episode is the Colt. It has all that horrible history associated with it that Mary likely doesn’t know, but which is all about John and his obsession and loss after Mary’s death. In these opening moments of the episode, there’s something bittersweet and nostalgic about this song playing, and “Tell me a story.” John and Mary weren’t always a tragedy, even though it sometimes seems that way. Despite everything, there was love there too.

The next story we get is about cattle mutilations and missing virgins over breakfast, and it is a more of a story than Sam, Dean and Cas realise. We don’t know it yet, but Wally is lying at Mary’s behest. He doesn’t live long enough for a teachable moment.

Sure they all get an awesome power walk - most ironic ever, amirite? But poor Wally doesn’t live long enough to really appreciate the joke.

We learn about Wally’s lie in the flashback between he and Mary. We discover Mary has some kind of secret agenda, although not what it is. But the thing that interested me most was the song playing during this scene -- it’s a call-back to John again, and heartbreaking again.

Not For Me, by Bobby Darin

Mary tells us that technically she’s in her 60s in this conversation. Yeah, she is not okay. When she says to Sam, “Since when is life about getting what you want?” we should be reading it as a big fat red alert for just how not okay things are for Mary.

Do you know what the number one rule of storytelling is? It’s asking every main character, “What do you want?” And then showing us what they’ll do to try to get it.

So if Mary doesn’t think she’ll get what she wants -- and the subtext is telling us she wants love/John -- then what is motivating her? This is a woman who made a demon deal to get John back once before, remember. Do we even know what her limits are? If you’re not creeped out right now, you should be.

Skipping forward, we reach the climax of the episode, and at the tipping point of the season. Here is were we get our most important teachable moment.

Castiel’s love bomb

It is not a coincidence that Castiel looks towards Mary as well as Sam and Dean during this scene. The scene is obviously about many things, and a lot of meta has already been written about it, much of it excellent. It is about him loving Dean/Humanity and finally saying so. It is about the rule against angels loving humans that we learned about in 12x10. It is about taking the last chance to speak while he has it. It’s is about claiming family. It’s all of those things and more. But it’s also a reminder to Mary that families change and grow, that new people come into our lives, that love comes in other shapes than the ones in her memory, that love can change you for the better, that her sons are grown and have their own lives and can be more than a one-way emotional drain -- they can love back and be a support to her too, and so can the people they love.

And it’s also about the (unintended) consequences of Mary’s actions. The angel she always believed was watching over her boys has been mortally wounded as a direct result of her machinations. The family her boys made when she wasn’t there is going to be broken.

This is interesting. Heartbreaking, but super interesting.

It tells us a lot about whatever it is that Mary wants. She may have said to Sam that she doesn’t expect to get what she wants, but whatever this is, she must want it an awful lot to keep playing her hand after this.

Does she take the lesson of Castiel’s confession, though? Does the teachable moment work? I suspect not, or not yet. Later she tells Ketch that Castiel is one of her boys, the implication being that she accepted this love declaration, believed it, and valued it. But... she doesn’t come clean to Sam, Dean and Castiel either. Rather than honesty and sharing her plan, her response is to threaten death and destruction to the BMoL, an eye for an eye, and hello again Lily Sunder. We know how that ends already.

Is Mary doomed to repeat the same mistakes that Castiel, Dean, Sam and John have all made before her? Or will she figure it out and change the script?

Time for another teachable moment, perhaps. Because this is Crowley’s theme for the episode, and if anyone is an example of changing the script, it’s Crowley.

Crop Won’t Ever Come, by Robin Loxley & Jay Hawke 

Another fantastically chosen, but super depressing song. Crowley is still holding that torch for Dean, and it’s never going to end in anything good... well, not in terms of love. But it might in terms of Crowley’s soul. You never know.

What I enjoy about Crowley is that he’s actually all squishy inside, full of feelings, but he also has this genuine cunning streak that is nearly always underestimated. For all his personal investment in the Winchesters, there’s also a practical aspect to it -- the Winchesters win and win and win, so who wants them as an enemy? No-one smart, that’s who.

He’s at the point where he literally tells people the Winchesters always win, no matter what, and not to fuck with them, although he pitches it a bit differently depending on the audience -- calling them weapons to the weapons collector he’s trying to make a deal with, as a case in point. But no-one ever believes him. And then, for example, they get stuck in the middle by Sam wielding the Michael Lance and turn into dust. I do love a spot of black humour, and I’m sure Crowley does too. :)

I think the most delicious part of it is the way other demons roll their eyes and imply Crowley’s just saying that about the Winchesters because he’s their pet.

He really is Cas’ dark mirror in all things.

Anyway, he breaks the Lance, saves Cas, earns brownie points with the Winchesters, and thinks he has the Colt up his sleeve as insurance now that Ramiel is out of the picture. Poor Crowley. It’s so hard being the accidentally promoted King of Hell.

To return to the main theme of the episode: Love and Mary’s lesson, and being stuck. We have one final song to consider:

Stuck In The Middle With You, by Stealers Wheel

It’s surprisingly upbeat, right? And I think it’s because of that “you.” Being stuck is no fun, but with “you” has a different implication altogether, especially in light of Castiel’s love bomb.

The title of this episode is a pun, of course, as we do get two characters literally stuck in the middle. But it is also a metaphor.  It’s the middle of the season, half way between the set up of the themes (love through the lens of nature vs nurture) and their culmination. It’s the Sunrise Special, the moment that bridges day and night, darkness and light. It’s Humanity, stuck between Heaven and Hell. Crowley and Castiel, not quite Human, not quite Other. Mary, stuck half way between the past and the now, between her memories of her sons and the real men they are. It’s about love that’s stuck too, in a place between “chick flick moments” and the fear of never getting what you want -- ”Not for Me” and “Crop Won’t Ever Come.”

We just took a big step forward, though, on that last one. Because Castiel finally spoke, and Dean recognised the teachable moment and rewarded him for it too. He couldn’t say it back (yet), but he said, “Let’s go home,” and this time Castiel actually heard it.

Final things:

The British Men of Letters have terrible information. Where are they getting it? Do they even properly know what the gadgets and weapons they’ve got can do? I’m starting to think their gross incompetence is going to be their downfall.

Richard Speight Jr.’s direction was really slick. Very Tarantino, obviously, but I do love clever non-chron storytelling, and this was used to very good effect.

How does Lucifer fit into the season’s love theme? I’m fascinated - and want to find out.

Previously:

The Ministry of Information vs Wayward Sons Carrying On (12x01)

My, my, how can I resist you? (12x02) and follow-up about Bohemian Raphsody

So what am I so afraid of? (I think I love you) (12x03)

I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy Down in my heart (Where?) (12x04) and a follow-up about the codependency and about Dean’s self-flagellation and issues with space

There can be only one! (12x05), and a follow-up conversation with elizabethrobertajones on Freud vs Schwartz.

They shall fall by the sword: they shall be a portion for foxes (12x06)  

Presenting the Immaculate Heart Reunion Tour (12x07)    

I’m still living the life where you get home and open the fridge and there’s half a pot of yogurt and a half a can of flat Coca-Cola. ~Alan Rickman (12x08, 12x09)

When the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men (12x10)    

in re (12x11)            

[mysticdaddies]

V/ Jihyun Kim Wedding Dance: One Shot

Hello everyone c: there was originally suppose to be only two winners for the wedding dance one shot: Saeran Choi & Jumin Han  but I made a open debate for either Seven or V :) Reading the arguments I decided to side with V :)  Its been amazing writing this little series and I hope I can do future polls :) Now lets enjoy the ending of this series. The song of the wedding dance is: Like I’m Going To Lose You, by Meghan Trainor ft John Legend 

“The one word in the English language, fuck it, in any language, is the word almost. That one small six-letter word has the power to change your mood drastically. It has the power to make you feel happiness and yet it can be the reason for the death of the old you. Almost is one hell of a word” - Mod Saeran

I don’t believe people know the real meaning of almost. The power that “almost” has is very terrifying because I almost died because of Rika. I almost sacrificed my life for her simply because I was in love with her. I looked into the mirror and all I could see was was blur, the eye surgery I had months ago was a success but they did say it would be slow process. How pathetic am I for being a baggage for (y/n). I could see some things but the rest of my life was one huge blur. I left the bathroom and I saw Jumin, my best man, and the rest of the RFA who are my groomsmen. I walked closer to them and fell on my knees letting the demons take over “ I DON’T FUCKING DESERVE HER! SHES BEEN IN LOVE WITH ME FROM THE BEGINNING AND ONLY RECENTLY I LOVED HER BACK” I cried out shaking from reality. Jumin kneeled on the floor with me and pulled me into a hug “Jihyun I known you for a long time, you are practically my brother, please don’t be hard on yourself. I am truly sorry you have to go through this but just know we are your family and we will be here for you” he hugged me even tighter and I opened my eyes and I saw my family. They all helped me freshen up because they were afraid something might happen to me. Damn, I’m a baggage to everyone in the whole RFA. I blinked quickly a few times and I noticed I looked quite decent. I smiled and was ready to meet my bride.

TIME SKIP: WEDDING DANCE 

I grabbed her hand and brought her closer to me. The whiff of her perfume brought me to so many memories that it made it seem like I was watching a movie in my head. I brought her closer to me and then reality hit me, Im actually married. However, she isn’t the one I want. I don’t love her…. my heart belongs to someone else. I grabbed her face and made her look into my hazy eyes “ Im sorry, I only married you because of the baby but, my heart belongs to someone else, enjoy the party” I kissed her forehead and went to look for Jumin. I accidentally bumped into Saeran and he knew what my crazy ass was thinking. He gathered the whole RFA and they knew where I needed to go, where I needed to be. 

TIME SKIP: 

I kneeled down and looked into your eyes. My god, I am thankful that my vision gives me enough strength to stare at your angelic face. “My precious (y/n) how thankful I am that we were born in the same century because I was graced with your angelic beauty. You showed me the reality of love, the cold hard truth of it. That love isn’t about the good but also the bad. I’m sorry that I didn’t return your love till later, but please understand I only married Rika because she is carrying my child. You are my true love and I just wish I realized what love really is before it was to late” I grabbed my phone and played the song that I am going to dedicate to you.

I found myself dreaming In silver and gold Like a scene from a movie That every broken heart knows we were walking on moonlight And you pulled me close Split second and you disappeared and then I was all alone

I gave a heavy sigh and looked into your soul “You came into my life out of nowhere. Whenever I chatted with you briefly in the RFA messenger, my heart skipped a beat and I always looked forward to talking to you, even if it was once in a blue moon. When I noticed you weren’t active in the messenger as you use to be, I visited the apartment and noticed you were ill. It was an honor taking care of you because you could of simply refused but you didn’t. You didn’t even ask me about my sunglasses but I told you either way. When you got better, I still visited because you were a bright light that kept pulling me towards you. I always thought to myself, ‘Why does (y/n) have a strong hold on me if I haven’t even looked into her eyes’ because looking into a persons eyes you can tell what kind of soul they had. That night that we saw each others soul, we made love that night. Neither of us didn’t plan it but the moment we looked into each others eyes, our souls gave that little ‘hah I finally found you’ type of feeling” I was opening my heart to you and I wasn't afraid because you needed to know….

In the blink of an eye, Just a whisper of smoke, You could lose everything The truth is you never know, So I’ll kiss you longer baby, Any chance that I get I’ll make the most of the minutes and love with no regrets

I wiped my tears away gently trying not to worsen my vision because I needed to look into your eyes while confessing my truth to you “The few months that we spent together was honestly the best time of my life. Who cares how cliche it sounds but its my reality. You were my personal oasis and I will be forever grateful that you provided a heaven for me while I was stuck in hell. I didn’t tell you the truth of my situation because I knew Rika will kill you off in a instant and that was the last thing I wanted to happen. I told you one night that I couldn’t come back and visit because I needed to take care of business and all you did was kiss me and we made the most passionate love that night. It was our souls and bodies melting together into one. You made me breakfast and you kissed me with so much tenderness and you looked at me with those eyes and simply said ‘ We will find our way back to each other don’t worry baby. We will always find our way back cause our souls loved each other for so long that nothing will tear us apart’ and I kissed you not knowing what life would bring us. Oh how I wish you were wrong my love”

I’m gonna love you, Like I’m gonna lose you, I’m gonna hold you, Like I’m saying goodbye wherever we’re standing, I won’t take you for granted ‘cause we’ll never know when, When we’ll run out of time so I’m gonna love you, Like I’m gonna lose you ,I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you

“ You walked in that night and I saw you, Saeyoung, and Saeran caught in the trap of my ex lovers web. Emotions were high because everyone was finding out the cold hard truth of my ex lover. That she was the reason for everyones pain and suffering but it was worse because I knew what was going on. I notice Saeran pointing his gun at Rika and old habits die hard that I was getting ready to take the hit. What I didn’t know that you were going to jump in front of me and take the bullet yourself.” I wiped the tears from my eyes and finally had a clear picture of your face that was on your tombstone. Your tombstone. It still hurts to admit it. You died for me. You risked your own life for me while I was risking my life for another. Your last words to me was the one that dragged my heart and soul with you to the after life. I closed my eyes and remembered your final moments: “Thank you for giving me forever in just a short span of a couple of months. Please do not feel guilty because its an honor dying in your arms Jihyun Kim.” I remember you coughing out blood while my hand was firmly placed on your wound hoping the bleeding stopped. You looked at me and your soul was leaving your body “We will always find our way back to each other, I love you Jihyun, Ill see you in our next life” You eyes were slowly closing but I kept screaming for someone to do something. Three minutes later you died in my arms. I witnessed your final breathe and from that moment, I died as well. 

I got up and digged a little hole next to your tombstone and buried the ring that was wrapped with a red ribbon with the wedding vowels I had attached to it.

I breathed in while placing the dirt to cover the rings “Here are my vows to you. I promise when we meet again, I will cherish you and love you till the end of my life time. With this ring that I am placing next to you, I promise to always walk by your side till the end of time. You are the owner of my heart, body, mind and soul and it doesn’t matter if we couldn’t spend this life together because I know our next one will be beautiful. You don’t understand how much I miss you when I wake up and you aren’t next to me. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve such a precious soul like yours but I thank God every moment that we were together for blessing me with you. I vow to found you in our next life and I vow to make sure that our forever will be longer”

 I did a small prayer for you and looked at your picture again and sighed “ I love you (f/n) (l/n) and I cant wait to spend forever with you again in our next life. Thank you for teaching me what love really is and I hope in our next life we can have a family of our own. I love you. Im glad we almost had our happy ending.” and I walked toward Jumins limo where the rest of the members were waiting. Jumin gave me a reassured hug and the other members were giving me warm smiles, while Saeran looked into my eyes and I saw his soul was taken from him as well. Before I lost sight of your tombstone I breathed in heavily and exhaled “ Goodbye (y/n) see you soon” and closed my eyes. 

[sharionpage]

6 Ways to Set the Bar a Little Lower

The Self Improvement Blog | Self Esteem | Self Confidence

Self-help writers are always pushing their brilliant ideas on the insecure public, suggesting endless techniques to help us broken slobs achieve our “ultimate potential.” But none of these gurus ever consider formulating messages tailored to the less ambitious of us wandering around out there — the ones who aren’t interested in 6-pack abs, or the latest superfood that tastes like fresh rat-droppings, despite its wonderful balance of Omega 3’s… That’s where I come in.  Sometimes people need more realistic goals.

Over-the-top enthusiasm gets annoying after a while. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the energy of a Tony Robbins speech and feel pumped to confront your dad for destroying your self-esteem by dressing you as a tampon one Halloween when he was drunk.

But when the $5,000 seminar ends, and Tony gets whisked away in his private ‘copter, reality quickly resurfaces. Before long, the artificial confidence he inspired in you slinks gracelessly back to its familiar position, hiding behind fear and self-loathing.

So let me share with you some realistic heights to set your bar at, and we’ll leave the Dr. Phils, Eckhart Tolles, and Wayne Dyers to float to their own heavens of know-it-all expertise.

Forget Purpose – It’s a Sham

We’re constantly being goaded into finding some overarching reason to declare our worth on this planet. We’re taught to feel guilty unless we develop some unique or meaningful contribution to declare to our fellow humans, “Look at me! I’m making a profound difference, all because of this wonderful calling of mine!”

Blech.

You don’t need a rigid, personal label to be effective in your community. Your purpose is whatever you decide it to be at any given moment of the day, and I say change it as often as you see fit.

If your kids need clean clothes, doing laundry is a noble purpose. If some old guy drops his cane outside the local barber shop, putting a smile on his face while you pick it up brings meaning to the Universe. Whether it’s a small act of kindness, or something as mundane as making sure the tires get rotated, purpose is always buried within our intentions and actions. The meaning only becomes apparent when we stop filtering it through our “gotta-change-the-world” glasses.

Follow Your Heart, and Your Brilliance Will Be in Tow

You only ever really need one thing to be excited about at a time. The more items you have on your plate, the more indecision you’ll face contemplating which one need be munched first before getting cold. And truthfully, a single-minded focus is the fastest way to get anything done.

Forget trying to create a world imagined by other people. If a wife, house, and job don’t float your boat, find a new port — one that gives you reason to open your eyes in the morning to breathe in the sweet air of inspiration.

You don’t need to run yourself ragged to accomplish everything at once. All you need is a single destination point to begin a journey. The details of how to get there will follow when you stay true to what excites you. The more excited you are, the more options you’ll uncover along the path.

Forget Trying to Please Everyone

I guarantee you there are people out there who think Mother Theresa’s a self-serving hack. No matter how philanthropic your ambitions are, it’s impossible to be liked by everyone, so don’t bother.

What matters is learning to be true to yourself. And the best way to do that is by adopting some variation of the Golden Rule. That may seem cliche, but it’s the best guideline you’ll ever have to experiencing a contented life — by developing a genuine respect for yourself and others.

Basic moralities like not killing or stealing are a natural consequence of the “doing unto others…” tenet. Set the example for yourself, and others will follow when ready. If they don’t recognize your contributions to humanity, who cares.

What did the Matrix Lady tell Neo? Temet Nosce. Know Thyself…

Always the best place to start…

Learn to Chill

Let’s set the bar even lower now. What if you have no drive or ambition to do anything productive with your day, or even your life for that matter?

Simple. Do nothing.

Rest and recharge. If you want to suck back a bunch of beers while watching the Habs blow another 3-goal lead, I say go for it.

Rest is part of every natural cycle on this planet — for each day a night, for every spring a winter. You do not need to be in motion 24-7, riddling yourself with guilt for not having accomplished all 39 things on your day’s must-do list.

Burnout ruins far too many lives on this planet. The best strategy to uncovering an inner passion often involves taking a step back from the madness, and telling the world, “Screw off for a bit, I need a nap here.” If it takes 6 months to unwind, so be it.

Exhaustion will never serve you or anyone else.

New perspective is gleaned by a fresh mind. You’ll find the answers you seek once you give yourself full permission to chill the fuck out from time to time, without guilt or worry.

Learn to Enjoy Being Alone

You’d think this would be an easy one, yet so many people live in constant fear of never finding their “soul-mate.”

Heaven forbid anyone spends more than 5 minutes labeled “single.” Luckily we have endless dating services and alcohol-fueled club-scenes to help remedy this “unnatural” state…

So what’s wrong with being alone?

Nothing. In fact it’s much, much easier than any relationship you’ll ever be in. Choices will be simpler, decisions will be more straightforward, and less arguing over toilet seats will occur.

I’m not advocating solitude out of laziness, I’m only mentioning it because you need to get comfortable with yourself before you’ll be in a position to fully share your bubbly wonderfulness with anyone else. Relying on someone to “complete” you, is a sure-fire method of keeping your baggage-carrying demons energized to spill their contents at the worst possible moment.

Get cool with yourself first, and you’ll find a like-minded soul when you least suspect it. Forced effort leads to unwanted compromise. When you’re in your flow, the babes’ll know it, and be far more likely to swim up to you than when you’re struggling sadly against the current.

Fuck Conformity

You don’t need to go out of your way to be different, but you don’t need to mirror every move the herd makes.

If people want to judge you for carrying an extra 20 pounds on your belly, let them. If people want to censor you for the vulgar language on your blog, they can go right ahead.

Drop the weight only if it feels right to you. Ease off on the f-bombs only if you find value in catering to a different audience. Succumbing to pressure from outside sources will always leave you feeling diminished on some level. Make a change in your life when you feel inspired, not a moment sooner, and forget what the “cool” kids are doing.

Final thoughts…

There are goals in this world that will take more time than others to accomplish, like learning to play guitar, or crocheting a butt-flapped onesie for gramma, but the only one dictating a schedule for those things is you.

Cut yourself a little slack, and learn to enjoy hopping over the small rocks and broken branches along the path again. A mountain will always loom in the distance. There’s no need to pack your climbing gear hastily.

Enjoy the view and fresh air at base-camp for as long as you see fit. A good guide with never rush you up a slope through chants and cheers, he’ll encourage a pace you’re safely capable of.

Let’s forget about pole-vaulting today. There’s a cute little creek behind my place we can easily hop over to get to my favorite cafe before lunch.

I’m treating…

6 Ways to Set the Bar a Little Lower published first on https://bitspiritspace.tumblr.com/

[sarahburness]

6 Ways to Set the Bar a Little Lower

Self-help writers are always pushing their brilliant ideas on the insecure public, suggesting endless techniques to help us, broken slobs, achieve our “ultimate potential.” But none of these gurus ever consider formulating messages tailored to the less ambitious of us wandering around out there — the ones who aren’t interested in 6-pack abs or the latest superfood.

That’s where I come in.

Sometimes, people need more realistic goals.

Over-the-top enthusiasm gets annoying after a while. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the energy of a Tony Robbins speech and feel pumped to confront your dad for destroying your self-esteem by dressing you as a tampon one Halloween when he was drunk.

But when the $5,000 seminar ends and Tony gets whisked away in his private ‘copter, reality quickly resurfaces. Before long, the artificial confidence he inspired in you slinks gracelessly back to its familiar position, hiding behind fear and self-loathing.

So, let me share with you some realistic heights to set your bar at and we’ll leave the Dr. Phils, Eckhart Tolles, and Wayne Dyers to float to their own heavens of know-it-all expertise.

Here’s how to be realistic in your everyday life:

Forget Purpose – It’s a Sham

We’re constantly being goaded into finding some overarching reason to declare our worth on this planet. We’re taught to feel guilty unless we develop some unique or meaningful contribution to declare to our fellow humans, “Look at me! I’m making a profound difference, all because of this wonderful calling of mine!”

Blech.

You don’t need a rigid, personal label to be effective in your community. Your purpose is whatever you decide it to be at any given moment of the day. I say change it as often as you see fit.

If your kids need clean clothes, doing laundry is a noble purpose. If some old guy drops his cane outside the local barber shop, putting a smile on his face while you pick it up brings meaning to the Universe.

Whether it’s a small act of kindness or something as mundane as making sure the tires get rotated, purpose is always buried within our intentions and actions. The meaning only becomes apparent when we stop filtering it through our “gotta-change-the-world” glasses.

Follow Your Heart and Your Brilliance Will Be in Tow

You only ever really need one thing to be excited about at a time. The more items you have on your plate, the more indecision you’ll face contemplating which one need be munched first before getting cold. And truthfully, a single-minded focus is the fastest way to get anything done.

Forget trying to create a world imagined by other people.

If a wife, house, and job don’t float your boat, find a new port. Find one that gives you a reason to open your eyes in the morning to breathe in the sweet air of inspiration.

You don’t need to run yourself ragged to accomplish everything at once. All you need is a single destination point to begin a journey. The details of how to get there will follow when you stay true to what excites you.

The more excited you are, the more options you’ll uncover along the path.

Forget Trying to Please Everyone

No matter how philanthropic your ambitions are, it’s impossible to be liked by everyone. So, don’t bother.

What matters is learning to be true to yourself. And the best way to do that is by adopting some variation of the Golden Rule. That may seem cliche, but it’s the best guideline you’ll ever have to experience a contented life. You have to develop a genuine respect for yourself and others.

Basic moralities like not killing or stealing are a natural consequence of the “doing unto others…” tenet. Set the example for yourself and others will follow when ready. If they don’t recognize your contributions to humanity, who cares?

What did the Matrix Lady tell Neo? Temet Nosce. Know Thyself…

Always the best place to start…

Learn to Chill

Let’s set the bar even lower now. What if you have no drive or ambition to do anything productive with your day or even your life for that matter?

Simple. Do nothing.

Rest and recharge. If you want to suck back a bunch of beers while watching the Habs blow another 3-goal lead, I say go for it.

Rest is part of every natural cycle on this planet — for each day a night, for every spring a winter. You do not need to be in motion 24-7, riddling yourself with guilt for not having accomplished all 39 things on your day’s must-do list.

Burnout ruins far too many lives on this planet. The best strategy to uncovering an inner passion often involves taking a step back from the madness and telling the world, “Screw off for a bit, I need a nap here.”

If it takes 6 months to unwind, so be it. Exhaustion will never serve you or anyone else.

A new perspective is gleaned by a fresh mind. You’ll find the answers you seek once you give yourself full permission to chill the fuck out from time to time, without guilt or worry.

See Also: 3 Reasons Why Taking Rest Breaks At Work Is Important

Learn to Enjoy Being Alone

You’d think this would be an easy one, yet so many people live in constant fear of never finding their “soulmate.”

Heaven forbid anyone spends more than 5 minutes labeled “single.” Luckily, we have endless dating services and alcohol-fueled club-scenes to help remedy this “unnatural” state…

So, what’s wrong with being alone?

Nothing.

In fact, it’s much, much easier than any relationship you’ll ever be in. Choices will be simpler, decisions will be more straightforward, and less arguing over toilet seats will occur.

I’m not advocating solitude out of laziness. I’m only mentioning it because you need to get comfortable with yourself before you’ll be in a position to fully share your bubbly wonderfulness with anyone else. Relying on someone to “complete” you is a sure-fire method of keeping your baggage-carrying demons energized to spill their contents at the worst possible moment.

Get cool with yourself first and you’ll find a like-minded soul when you least suspect it. Forced effort leads to unwanted compromise. When you’re in your flow, the babes will know it and be far more likely to swim up to you than when you’re struggling sadly against the current.

See Also: 5 Steps to Loving Yourself and Living Happily Ever After

Ignore Conformity

You don’t need to go out of your way to be different, but you don’t need to mirror every move the herd makes.

If people want to judge you for carrying an extra 20 pounds on your belly, let them. If people want to censor you for the vulgar language on your blog, they can go right ahead.

Drop the weight only if it feels right to you. Ease off on the f-bombs only if you find value in catering to a different audience. Succumbing to pressure from outside sources will always leave you feeling diminished on some level.

Make a change in your life when you feel inspired, not a moment sooner, and forget what the “cool” kids are doing.

Final thoughts

There are goals in this world that will take more time than others to accomplish, like learning to play the guitar or crocheting a butt-flapped onesie for grandma.

Remember, the only one dictating a schedule for those things is you.

Cut yourself a little slack and learn to enjoy hopping over the small rocks and broken branches along the path again. A mountain will always loom in the distance. There’s no need to pack your climbing gear hastily.

Enjoy the view and fresh air at base-camp for as long as you see fit. A good guide will never rush you up a slope through chants and cheers. Instead, he’ll encourage a pace you’re safely capable of.

Let’s forget about pole-vaulting today. There’s a cute little creek behind my place we can easily hop over to get to my favorite cafe before lunch.

I’m treating…

The post 6 Ways to Set the Bar a Little Lower appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

from Dumb Little Man https://www.dumblittleman.com/how-to-be-realistic-in-your-everyday-life/

[sharionpage]

6 Ways to Set the Bar a Little Lower

The Self Improvement Blog | Self Esteem | Self Confidence

Self-help writers are always pushing their brilliant ideas on the insecure public, suggesting endless techniques to help us broken slobs achieve our “ultimate potential.” But none of these gurus ever consider formulating messages tailored to the less ambitious of us wandering around out there — the ones who aren’t interested in 6-pack abs, or the latest superfood that tastes like fresh rat-droppings, despite its wonderful balance of Omega 3’s… That’s where I come in.  Sometimes people need more realistic goals.

Over-the-top enthusiasm gets annoying after a while. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the energy of a Tony Robbins speech and feel pumped to confront your dad for destroying your self-esteem by dressing you as a tampon one Halloween when he was drunk.

But when the $5,000 seminar ends, and Tony gets whisked away in his private ‘copter, reality quickly resurfaces. Before long, the artificial confidence he inspired in you slinks gracelessly back to its familiar position, hiding behind fear and self-loathing.

So let me share with you some realistic heights to set your bar at, and we’ll leave the Dr Phils, Eckhart Tolles, and Wayne Dyers to float to their own heavens of know-it-all expertise.

Forget Purpose – It’s a Sham

We’re constantly being goaded into finding some overarching reason to declare our worth on this planet. We’re taught to feel guilty unless we develop some unique or meaningful contribution to declare to our fellow humans, “Look at me! I’m making a profound difference, all because of this wonderful calling of mine!”

Blech.

You don’t need a rigid, personal label to be effective in your community. Your purpose is whatever you decide it to be at any given moment of the day, and I say change it as often as you see fit.

If your kids need clean clothes, doing laundry is a noble purpose. If some old guy drops his cane outside the local barber shop, putting a smile on his face while you pick it up brings meaning to the Universe. Whether it’s a small act of kindness, or something as mundane as making sure the tires get rotated, purpose is always buried within our intentions and actions. The meaning only becomes apparent when we stop filtering it through our “gotta-change-the-world” glasses.

Follow Your Heart, and Your Brilliance Will Be in Tow

You only ever really need one thing to be excited about at a time. The more items you have on your plate, the more indecision you’ll face contemplating which one need be munched first before getting cold. And truthfully, a single-minded focus is the fastest way to get anything done.

Forget trying to create a world imagined by other people. If a wife, house, and job don’t float your boat, find a new port — one that gives you reason to open your eyes in the morning to breathe in the sweet air of inspiration.

You don’t need to run yourself ragged to accomplish everything at once. All you need is a single destination point to begin a journey. The details of how to get there will follow when you stay true to what excites you. The more excited you are, the more options you’ll uncover along the path.

Forget Trying to Please Everyone

I guarantee you there are people out there who think Mother Theresa’s a self-serving hack. No matter how philanthropic your ambitions are, it’s impossible to be liked by everyone, so don’t bother.

What matters is learning to be true to yourself. And the best way to do that is by adopting some variation of the Golden Rule. That may seem cliche, but it’s the best guideline you’ll ever have to experiencing a contented life — by developing a genuine respect for yourself and others.

Basic moralities like not killing or stealing are a natural consequence of the “doing unto others…” tenet. Set the example for yourself, and others will follow when ready. If they don’t recognize your contributions to humanity, who cares.

What did the Matrix Lady tell Neo? Temet Nosce. Know Thyself…

Always the best place to start…

Learn to Chill

Let’s set the bar even lower now. What if you have no drive or ambition to do anything productive with your day, or even your life for that matter?

Simple. Do nothing.

Rest and recharge. If you want to suck back a bunch of beers while watching the Habs blow another 3-goal lead, I say go for it.

Rest is part of every natural cycle on this planet — for each day a night, for every spring a winter. You do not need to be in motion 24-7, riddling yourself with guilt for not having accomplished all 39 things on your day’s must-do list.

Burnout ruins far too many lives on this planet. The best strategy to uncovering an inner passion often involves taking a step back from the madness, and telling the world, “Screw off for a bit, I need a nap here.” If it takes 6 months to unwind, so be it.

Exhaustion will never serve you or anyone else.

New perspective is gleaned by a fresh mind. You’ll find the answers you seek once you give yourself full permission to chill the fuck out from time to time, without guilt or worry.

Learn to Enjoy Being Alone

You’d think this would be an easy one, yet so many people live in constant fear of never finding their “soul-mate.”

Heaven forbid anyone spends more than 5 minutes labeled “single.” Luckily we have endless dating services and alcohol-fueled club-scenes to help remedy this “unnatural” state…

So what’s wrong with being alone?

Nothing. In fact it’s much, much easier than any relationship you’ll ever be in. Choices will be simpler, decisions will be more straightforward, and less arguing over toilet seats will occur.

I’m not advocating solitude out of laziness, I’m only mentioning it because you need to get comfortable with yourself before you’ll be in a position to fully share your bubbly wonderfulness with anyone else. Relying on someone to “complete” you, is a sure-fire method of keeping your baggage-carrying demons energized to spill their contents at the worst possible moment.

Get cool with yourself first, and you’ll find a like-minded soul when you least suspect it. Forced effort leads to unwanted compromise. When you’re in your flow, the babes’ll know it, and be far more likely to swim up to you than when you’re struggling sadly against the current.

Fuck Conformity

You don’t need to go out of your way to be different, but you don’t need to mirror every move the herd makes.

If people want to judge you for carrying an extra 20 pounds on your belly, let them. If people want to censor you for the vulgar language on your blog, they can go right ahead.

Drop the weight only if it feels right to you. Ease off on the f-bombs only if you find value in catering to a different audience. Succumbing to pressure from outside sources will always leave you feeling diminished on some level. Make change in your life when you feel inspired, not a moment sooner, and forget what the “cool” kids are doing.

Final thoughts…

There are goals in this world that will take more time than others to accomplish, like learning to play a guitar, or crocheting a butt-flapped onesie for gramma, but the only one dictating a schedule for those things is you.

Cut yourself a little slack, and learn to enjoy hopping over the the small rocks and broken branches along the path again. A mountain will always loom in the distance. There’s no need to pack your climbing gear hastily.

Enjoy the view and fresh air at base-camp for as long as you see fit. A good guide with never rush you up a slope through chants and cheers, he’ll encourage a pace you’re safely capable of.

Let’s forget about pole-vaulting today. There’s a cute little creek behind my place we can easily hop over to get to my favourite cafe before lunch.

I’m treating…

About the Author:

Michael Ciupka has been a saintly and inspiring presence since the day he received his first gift of myrrh. Whether walking on water (frozen at the time), or distributing satiating amounts of loaves and fishes (as a part-time fry-cook), Michael has been performing the miraculous since time immemorial (1972 to be specific). To learn more of his wisdom and insight, pick up a copy of the Bible. Follow Michael’s ongoing adventures at: www.bonerfruit.com

6 Ways to Set the Bar a Little Lower published first on https://bitspiritspace.tumblr.com/