#JuniperKit wc | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

do0zy-artz · 11 months ago

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Squrrielflight feels off one day, and decides to visit the medicine den. Little does she know, this visit will tip her worldview on its head.

TW: for grief and child death

Thunderclan's deputy pads towards the medicine den one day, her bushy tail flicking behind her. She had been feeling rather...strange lately, and hoped seeing her sister could possibly give some insight on that. And that it wasn't something too serious. She hadn’t been a deputy for long, and wanted to keep being one for a just a bit longer!

"Leafpool?" Squirrelflight calls out, pushing her way into the den. Her littermate sits alone, half turned away from the opening. She is the only one in here, Jayfeather and Briarlight off doing Starclan knows what. Squirrelflight is grateful for the empty den that today.

"Squrrielflight!" Her sister purrs, turning fully towards the den entrance, the herbs she's sorting being forgotten about for the time being. "What do you need?"

"I feel...funny." Squrrielflight says, sitting down a tail-length away. She curls her tails around her paws, hoping that making herself comfortable will stop the anxious fidgeting. It doesn't.

"How so?" Leafpool tilts her head to the side, curious. She scans over her sister, and frowns when there is nothing obviously wrong with her. Physically at least. Which makes Leafpool's job just a tad harder and Squirrelflight more frustrated when she feels off for no reason.

"We'll, I'm tired all the time for starters." Squirrelflight mews, said tiredness being felt in her bones at that very moment. Like it had been for the last several days. "And I've been unbalanced on patrols recently, plus mood swings."

The medicine cats narrows her eyes, before gesturing to a stray nest with her tail. Squirrelflight takes a minute to realize what her sister means, long used to disregarding the possibility. "Lay down for me, will you?"

"You know I can't bear kits, Leaf." She says, her expression becoming strained. Both sisters had found out at the same time, and it was something Squirrelflight kept close to her chest. She hadn't even told Bramblestar yet, despite all the moons of being with him, out of fear for his reaction.

(It just goes on the list of things she should've told him really. Which, in her defense, is a pretty short list. There's only two things on jt.)

"I know, but I want to check all my options." Leafpool says, flicking her tail towards the nest again. Her eyes are still narrowed in caution. "Those were all my symptoms when I was expecting."

"What else could it be? Since it's probably not kits?" Squirrelflight lays down on her side, one ear flicking anxiously. She needs to keep her mind off the idea of kits. It's just going to upset her when Leafpool finds she isn't pregnant.

"An illness of some kind, possibly." Leafpool hums, running her paws over his sisters side gently. And then she runs them over her side again. And again, the examination taking longer than it should've. Her sister's face becomes confused, puzzled. Squirrelflight, against her better judgment, both starts to worry and hope for it to be kits.

Leafpool pulls away, blinking a few times. "Great Starclan..." She whispers, amber eyes wide. Like she can't belive what she'd just found. It only makes that ugly mix of hope and worry swirling inside her sister worse.

"What? What is it?" Squirrelflight mews, already starting to sit up. But not too fast. She doesn't wanna unbalanced herself again and go falling over, not at such an important time like this.

Leafpool tells her the news in her Medicine Cat Voice, eyes full of far too many emtions for anyone to understand. "Well, I don't know how, but you're expecting kits, Squrrielflight."

"I'm....expecting kits?" She repeats, blinking a few times. For the first time in her whole life, Squirrelflight starts doubting her sister's diagnosis. She can't be expecting kits. They told her it wasn't possible, that she would never have any children of her own. They said it directly to her face.

"Yes." But Leafpool confirms it again, her voice sounding oddly hollow. And that's how Squirrelflight knows it's true.

"After Yellowfang told me I could never bare my own?" Squirrelflight mews, making sure she's getting her facts right. Double checking that it is true and that Starclan had apparently lied to her all those moons ago.

"...Yes." Leafpool whispers. It's all she can say.

"She lied." Squirrelflight states, mostly to herself, trying to wrap her mind around it. They had lied to her, told her she could never had kits, crushed her dreams into little pieces. Why? For what? As some kind of sick joke?

Her sister leams forward, and presses her muzzle to Squirrelflight's cheek. It doesn't help. She pretends it does. "I know."

Squirrelflight, now pregnant and her mind still reeling, leaves the medicine den not longer after. Leafpool offers her thyme for shock. She declines. She says she just needs ro go on a walk, clear her head. Her littermate lets her go reluctantly.

She tells Bramblestar later that day, and he is overjoyed. He purrs, showering her in affection. Squrrielflight let's herself giggle at her mates antics, but cannot help but feel like there's a pit in her stomach the whole time.

Starclan had lied to her. They had told her she couldn't have kits, and for what? All so she would take Leafpool's? So their special prophecy children could be raised with no problems? Is that all she was to them? A tool? A prop in their plan? Did her happiness mean nothing to them? Did she mean nothing?

The worst part? They didn't even need to lie. She was going to take the kits. Sure, Squirrelflight hadn't been on board with her sister's plan at first, no cat would've. Lying to your mate, your family, your clanmates, everyone...it was a big thing to ask. But Squirrelflight had heard stories of what happened to half-clan cats, saw the way them and outsiders were treated and shunned by clan-born cats. She knew she wouldn't have been able to live with herself if she didn't take them, and left those kits to a life of scorn. It simply wouldn't be right.

Starclan was Starclan. They should've known that. They were supposed to know everything. But they had chosen to lie instead, to lie and make her believe she would never have her own kits with her own mate. The ones she always, in the back of her mind, knew she would want someday.

(Not to say that Jayfeather and Hollyleaf and Lionblaze were not hers. They were hers, and Bramblestar's, just as much as they were Leafpool's. No matter what they'd thought of her, what their relationships had been like, she had always thought of them as hers and loved them like she would love any kit she'd birthed herself.)

But Starclan had never needed to lie for them to be hers. They were always going to be.) Squirrelflight looks up at the stars that night, and doing so has never felt so hollow.

___________________________________

Her other children are ecstatic when she tells them. Jayfeather even insists he check her over again, just to make sure. Maybe it was a good thing she told him first, then, if he was going to get this way about it.

"I'm sure that I'm expecting, Jay." She laughs, letting him nose her into the medicine den. "Do you not trust Leafpool's judgement?"

"I just want to double check." Her youngest says, pushing her through the den's fern entrance. Well, he used to be her youngest. Now he was going to be her second, or third, or fourth youngest. Something like that.

"Fine." Squirrelflight huffs, amused, and sits down in the den; near the same nest Leafpool had examined her in last time. Jayfeather just grumbles something to himself, and follows in after her.

"What's goin' on?" Briarlight murmurs, poking her head up. The she-cat had been soundly asleep in her nest, and Squrrielflight now felt a little bad about disturbing her. If she'd known Briarlight had been sleeping, she would've kept her voice down more when walking in here.

"Nothing to worry about," Jayfeather mews softly, running his tail along her side as he moves past. "I'm just checking Squrrielflight."

"Leafpool thinks I'm expecting." The ginger she-cat adds, a sheepish smile on her face. Briarlight's now the third cat to find out about this, not that it bothers Squirrelflight. Everyone was going to find out eventually, especially Briarlight. She did live in the medicine den, after all.

"Oh! That's wonderful!" Briarlight purrs, sitting up in her nest. It seems she is going to do some stretches while Squirrelflight gets her check up, and get rid of any stiffness in her legs. Briarlight usually does stretches when she wakes up, if the deputy remembers correctly.

"I'm still checking her over. I'm not so sure yet." Jayfeather snorts, nudging Squirrelflight closer to the nest she'd laid in previous. She couldn't tell if he was grumpy or excited about possibly being a big brother. Or both. "Lay down."

"Somebody's bossy." She snorts, but lays down as she's told. It's better not to argue with your medicine cat, Squirrelflight has learned. Especially when said medicine cat is Jayfeather, of all medicine cats.

Jayfeather runs his paws over his stomach and flank, doing exactly as Leafpool had did. And then he double checks and triple checks, exactly as Leafpool had done. Right when Squirrelflight thinks he's going to quadruple check, Jayfeather moves away with a huff.

"Well, Leafpool was right." He says, sitting back on his haunches. His voice is full of disbelief, but there's something more energetic hidding in there as well. "You are expecting kits."

"I told you so!" Squirrelflight exclaims, jolting up. Well, jolting up as quickly as she can, without putting herself off balance. The kits are making her fat too clumsy for her liking.

"I can't belive it." Jayfeather mews, mostly to himself. He's excited, even if the annoying furball doesn't want to show it. Which he's doing a horrible job at, by the way. His tail is flicking behind him like a rilled up kits'.

"You better start soon!" Squirrelflight purrs, giving her son an affectionate bump with her shoulder. "You're gonna be a big brother!"

Briarlight drags herself over, a smile on her face and a purr in her throat. She might be evenbmore excited at the news than Jayfeather! "Congratulations!"

"Thank you, Briarlight." Squirrelflight purrs still, leaning down and touching her nose to the brown she-cats head. She knows, when the kits inevitably wander in here, that Briarlight will do a wonderful job watching and taking care of them.

"I can't wait to meet them!" Briarlight purrs, pushing herself back towards her nest. She still must be tired then, maybe more so after some stretches.

"I'm sure they'll love you." Squirrelflight says, turning her eyes back to Jayfeather as she adds the last part. "Both of you."

"Have you told anyone else?" The medicine cat asks, getting to his paws. He's at least letting his voice sound a little excited now, if nothing else. Sometimes Squirrelflight wishes she could just, sit on him, or something, and make him more friendly that way

"Just Bramblestar." She says, remembering how she had told her mate last night, and all the inner turmoil that had come after it. (Don't think about Starclan. Don't think about the lies.)

"You should go tell Lionblaze, before he starts nagging me about why you're been in here." Jayfeather says, nodding towards Briarlight, who nods back. Some act of silent communication Squirrelflight knows isn't her place to understand.

"Okay." Squirrelflight laughs, moving towards the den entrance. She was going to tell him next anyways, but this just gave some extra incentive. "I'll save you from being annoyed to death."

"He should be back from patrol soon! Bramblestar sent him out with Brackenfur's hunting patrol." Briarlight mews. She's gotten very good at keeping track of patrols, often watching as they are organized in the morning, even better than the deputy herself sometimes.

"Thank you, Briarlight!" Squirrelflight calls over her shoulder, leaving the den with a flick of her tail. She hears Jayfeather follow after her, and then stalk in the woods. Probably to finds Leafpool and ask why she didn't tell him that his mother was expecting.

She finds the golden warrior rather quickly, dragging him into the empty warriors den to share the news. Lionblaze is just as excited as Jayfeather was when he hears, but expresses it more openly than the medicine cat did.

"Oh Squirrelflight, that's great news!" Lionblaze purrs, rubbing his cheek against hers. His eyes are shining with the same joy he felt over his own kits. "You'll be a great mother."

Squirrelflight feels herself get a little choked up at his words, but nods her thanks anyways. "Thank you, Lionblaze."

"I just wish Hollyleaf could meet them..." He mutters, tail dropping slightly. It's no secret that both Lionblaze and Jayfeather muss their sister deeply, along with the rest of her kin, and often wish she could be there with them. Squirrelflight knows that she often feels the same.

"I do too." She whispers back, grief rising jn her throat again, as it often does when she thinks of the black she-cat. Hollyleaf would've loved these kits, she thinks. She would've loved to be a big sister.

"Come on," Squirrelflight says, nudging her sons shoulder with her own. Now is nkt the time for sadness, not with new lives on the way. "Let's go tell Sandstorm, yeah?"

"Yeah." Lionblaze gives himself a shake, as if shaking the sorrow away. "I've been meaning to pay her a visit anyways." Squirrelflight stands, and he follows her to inform Sandstorm of the news, as well as the rest of their clanmates.

___________________________________

The kits are born, and Squrrielflight feels so happy she could burst.

There are four of them. One, a ginger she-cat, who looks so much like her grandfather it's almost scary. Squirrelflight has to wonder if she will have Firestars shining green eyes as well. The second is dark ginger tom, his fur a darker color than hers. He has his father's tabby markings and his mother's white tipped tail and paws.

The third is another tom, one that looks near identical to his father, expect for the white fur on his stomach. The fourth and final kit is another she-cat, also sporting ginger fur; though her coat much paler than her sister's is. One closer to Sandstorm's. All of them couldn't look more perfect in Squrrielflight's eyes.

Bramblestar lays next to her, head snug against her shoulder. He has not stopped purring for the past hour, and Squrrielflight doesn't think he's going to stop anytime soon.

The kits all lay at her stomach, sound asleep. Squrrielflight thinks this is the most amazing thing she's ever seen. Not long after the kits fall asleep, her eyes flick towards the den's entrance. There's two very familiar shadows waiting there, like the two of them need permission to come see their new siblings.

Jayfeather slowly pokes his head into the den, looking hesitant. Lionblaze's lumbering figure can just barely be seen behind the medicine cat, blocking out all the sunlight. She has no idea why they're hesitating. They'd both been hovering around the den during the kitting, only shooed away by Leafpool to let her rest. She would've expected them to be charging in like badgers by now!

"You two can come in. You don't need to wait!" Squirrelflight says. At the sound of her voice, Bramblestar lifts his head up, just in time to see their two oldest kits shoving past each other to get inside, like they were overexcited 'paws again.

Lionblaze shoves himself in first, clearly excited. Jayfeather, who was just rudely shoved into the den wall, lightly cuffs his brother over the ear when he gets inside. Lionblaze just shoves him a second time in response.

Squrrielflight lets out a purr of amusement at their playfighting. It seems the new kits were bringing out the more playful side of her older ones. Good. These two were so serious all the time, Jayfeather especially. It would be good for them to lighten up a bit.

Jayfeather settles next to her, tucking his paws underneath him. Lionblaze settles on her other side, closer to Bramblestar. He asks how the kitting went, amber eyes surveying his new siblings with wonders. Bramblestar smiles, and said it went well.

"What do they look like?" Jayfeather asks her, eyes staring at nothing. Squirrelflight softens at his question. She had always described what their clanmates looked like to him, ever since he was a tiny little kit.

Squirrelflight had been the one to tell him what Leafpool, his littermates, and even herself looked like all those moons ago; when Jayfeather had been less than a month old and had never known anything but that old tree he'd been born in. She had spent hours telling him what all his clanmates looked like, when the kits had first been brought back to the clan; and had done the same for every new litter of kits born after that. Even at their relationships worst point, Jayfeather had still sought her out.

Squirrelflight noses the sleeping kits closer. Jayfeather reaches his muzzle towards one, then hesitates again. She pushes the newborn closer anyways. He can't have an idea of what each kit looks if he just listens to her say it and doesn't familiarize himself with their scents.

Jayfeather rests his muzzle on her firstborn, a little she-kit. "This one's ginger. Almost the same color Firestar was." Squirrelflight explains softly. Lionblaze and Bramblestar keep having their own, quiet conversation on her otherside, mostly for Jayfeather's sake. The medicine cat will appreciate it later.

When Jayfeather nods, she introduces the next kit to him. Squirrelflight isn't going in birth order, just by whatever bundle of fur is closest. "And this one, her sister, is a pale ginger. Like Sandstorm, but a bit more yellow, like goldenrod."

"Are they all she-kits?" He asks, nosing a third kit gently. Jayfeather's voice is soft, gentle, more than Squirrelflight's ever heard it before. One could even say it was full of love for these newborn kittens. Squirrelflight shakes her head, a soft smile still on her face. She nudges the kit, her youngest son, even closer to him.

"No. The other two are toms." The ginger queen continues her previous explanation, and Jayfeather nods along once again. "He's a brown tabby, like Bramblestar. Expect for the white on his chest and stomach."

"And the last one has my pelt color, with darker stripes and a white tip tail and paws" Squirrelflight says, nudging her second born and last kitten to describe towards him. The kitten squirms, but doesn't wake up. His mother soothes him with a lick behind the ears.

"Thank you" Jayfeather murmurs, giving kit an affectionate lick of his own. He seems so mesmerized by them, like he hasn't assisted in so many births before. But maybe it is different when the newborn kits are you're own kin. "They all sound beautiful."

"They are." Squirrelflight purrs, moving her four little bundles closer to her belly again. They're the most beautiful things she's ever seen, like Jayfeather's and his own littlermates where when they were born.

"Hurry up!" A minute later, her mother's voice comes from outside the den, making all of them look up. Two sets of pawsteps accompanies the noise as well. Jayfeather's ears flick towards it, his whiskers twitching in amusement. It's the most excited Sandstorm's sounded in moons.

"I've already seen them, Sandstorm! I was just coming to fetch you!" Leafpool's voice follows their mother's, amused. She must be following her behind her, then, coming back to the nursey only a mere hour after she'd left it.

"Well now you get to see them again!" Sandstorm says, striding into the den confidently. Leafpool follows behind her, an amused trill still leaving her throat. Her mother stops once inside the den, looking at her kin. Her eyes find the new litter, and are instantly filled with love and wonder.

"Oh Squirrelflight," Sandstorm breathes, laying down in front of the new family. Leafpool follows suits, and settles down next to the elderly she-cat. "They're wonderful."

"I know." Squirrelflight purrs. Everything feels right, now that all her family is surrounding her, meeting her new kits together. She doesn't think this day could get any more perfect.

(Two spots next to Leafpool and Sandstormhave been left, spots that had been left almost unconsciously. The first was left for Firestar, and the second for Hollyleaf. The two cats who should be here, but cannot be. The two cats she's misses more than anything else.

Squirrelflight wondered if Starclan would let their spirits come down and fill those spots, just for a little while.)

"What are you gonna name them?" Lionblaze asks, looking between both his foster parents. He's curious, excited. Squirrelflight feels touched by her eldests enthusiasm.

"We didn't really go over names." Bramblestar says, looking at each cat in the den as he does, a soft smile on his face. "We wanted to name them with all of you."

"That's....thoughtful." Leafpool murmurs, sounding ssurprised. Squirrelflight doesn't know why she would be. She'd helped name her sister kits, so it was only right Leafpool help with naming hers. And that the rest of their are there for the names this time.

"I like the name Sparkkit." Sandstorm suggests, pointing towards the flame colored she-kit. "For that one, she looks so much like.." The elders voice trails off at the end there. She doesn't finish the sentence. Everyone knew what she was going to say.

"She does." Bramblestar agrees quietly. And that is that. Her firstborn is now named Sparkkit, after her flame colored fur and the grandfather that isn't here to meet her. Squirrelflight has to wonder if her father would be honored by this, if he were here, or if he would be far too humble about it.

"I always liked the name Alder." She says, filling the silence in the den, before it becomes oppressive. Bramblestar and Lionblaze mutter their agreement. Alder is a good name for a kit.

"The ginger tom. He looks like an Alder." Leafpool mews quickly, meeting her sister's gaze. A million emtions are shining in her amber eyes, ones only a sibling could understand. She alone knows why Squirrelflight has always liked the name Alder.

For it was the very tree they had sheltered inside, all those leaf-bare's ago, when three litte kits had been born. Squirrelflight watched her first three children be born in an old alder tree, watched them play and find their first shelter in it. Ever since then, she has always been partial to the trees. Ever since then, she knew she'd always want to name a kit after one. Even when she thought having her own kits was an impossible feat.

"What about the other two, then?" Lionblaze asks, pointing towards the pale ginger tabby and the dark brown tom. "Because I wasted all my name ideas already. He admits after a pause, sounding more than a bit sheepish about it.

"Of course you did." Bramblestar teases, nudging the golden warrior playfully. Lionblaze just looks embrasssed about it, and amusement bubbles up in Squrrielflight's chest at the sight.

"How about Dandelionkit? For the pale she-cat." Jayfeather muses aloud, nosing the one he means. "She's apparently yellow just like one."

"You're horrible with names." Lionblaze teases his brother. "Of course it would be an herb."

"You wanted to name two of your kits Snap and Fly." Jayfeather retorts, looking like he wants to smack the grin off his littermates face. Lionblaze opens his mouth to respond, but apparently can't find one, as he closes it soon after.

"I think it's a cute name." Squirrelflight says, breaking up the sibling banter. And thus, her second and final daughter is named Dandelionkit, because she looks like a dandelion flower. It's a cute name. Squirrelflight likes it more and more by the minute.

That leaves only one last kit to name the dark brown tabby. The youngest one. And, while Squirrelflight has a few name ideas, she wants to know what another cat thinks instead.

"Bramblestar?" She asks, looking over at her mate. Yes, she wanted her family to name the kits, but she also wanted their father to have some input as well. He hadn't had any last time, something she still felt guilt over to this day.

Bramblestar hums, proposing a name. Squirrelflight thinks it's the only idea he was really passionate about. "I was thinking...Juniper, for one of them."

"Juniper?" Leafpool asks, curious. She must be wondering why he would choose the name of an herb, of all things. That seems like something she or Jayfeather would suggest instead of their leader.

"Well, it's a berry. Like-" Bramblestar, like Sandstorm had earlier, struggles to finish his sentence, his voice starting to crack. Squirrelflight feels her heart shatter a bit when she realizes why he chose Juniper.

"Like Holly." Leafpool finishes for him. Her voice is full of just as much, if not more, emotion then Bramblestar's. No one else says anything. Such a heavy sense of loss has fallen over the group, Squirrelflight doesn't think they can.

"Yeah, like Holly." He rumbles, and the atmosphere in the den gets far too somber for this kind of day. It was probably always going to happen like this. Hollyleaf's passing had left too big of a gap, one that would never be filled. Not even by four little kits.

"I'll name the brown tabby that." Squirrelflight says, nosing her son. It is the kit that looks the most like her late daughter. It is also the last kit that needs to be named. Something tells her he was always going to be named after Hollyleaf, in a way, just like one of Lionblaze's kits was always going to share her prefix.

There are murmurs of agreement. Yes, that is a perfect name for him. These are wonderful names for all her kits. If Jayfeather goes to nose Juniperkit an extra time, and if Leafpool and Lionblaze look at him with stars and sadness in their eyes, now one says anything about it.

"Let's give them some rest now." Sandstorm suggests, slowly getting to her paws. She nudges her eldest daughter as well, until Leafpool is on her paws once more. Jayfeather and Lionblaze nod their agreement, and the four cats slip out if the den to give the new mother some rest. Bramblestar, resting his head on his mate's shoulder again, calls after them, and says to come back soon. Someone promises they will.

(As Squirrelflight falls asleep, she wonders if Hollyleaf and Firestar's spirits are still with her, or if they have left with the rest of their kin.

She hopes that, this time, they have stayed.)

___________________________________

Only a few hours later, and one of the kits has stopped breathing. Juniperkit lays lifeless at his mother's side, still snug against his siblings. If she didn't know any better, hadn't seen kits pass pre-maturely before, she would think he was just sleeping.

Squrrielflight noses her son when he doesn't stir with the others, panic starting to rise in her throat. And then she noses him again, and again, and again. Until it is clear that he is not moving, and his chest does not move as he breathes. Because her beautiful son is not breathing.

Squirrelflight's kit had only been with them for a few hours, and Starclan has already taken him. He did not even get a chance to open his eyes, to play with his siblings, to live. And they had taken her baby from her before he ever would.

She lets out a wail of grief at the realization, pressing her muzzle into her kits fur. His fur that is now cold, and his body that will now forever be unmoving.

In her distress, Squrrielflight wakes Bramblestar beside her. "Squirrelflight? Squirrelflight?. The leader jerks awake, his voice slurred but full of the same panic as hers. "Squrriel, what's wrong with the kits?"

"It's Juniperkit, he-" Squirrelflight cannot finish her sentance, another wail of grief cutting her off. Once again, for the third time that day, the sentance does not need to be finished to be understood.

Bramblestar makes his own sound of grief, and presses himself closer to his mate. He buries his muzzle in her fluffy pelt, eyes shut tight. Maybe, if he does that, he can ignore a horrible reality for just a moment longer.

There's a worried crowd forming a few tail lengths away from the nuresy, cat called forward by the wails and now whispering amongst themsleves. Daisy, the only permanent nursey queen left, is pushing her way through it; Cloudtail right behind her. The white tom is worried for her little cousin and her new family, even if he has never been the closest to them.

Leafpool rushes into the den, Jayfeather hot on her heels. The crowd had parted to let them through, and did the same when Lionblaze and Sandstorm followed just a moment after. The former's broad head is now peaking in through the nursey's entrance, anxiously blocking the view of most other cats. Sandstorm is right beside him.

"Squrrielflight? Bramblestar? What's wrong?" Leafpool says, worry pooling in her tone. Both parents look up at her voice, eyes glazed in grief. Leafpool has been a medicine cat for too many seasons to not understand why.

"Juniperkit is dead." Bramblestar croaks, voice breaking, because his mate can not muster the will to speak.

"He can't be." Leafpool whispers, staring at the four kits, all still secure next to their mother's side. They all look so peaceful from here. It is hard to believe one could possibly be dead.

"He is." Jayfeather confirms solemnly, touching his nose to the little kit's pelt. He finds just what Squirrelflight had found mere minutes before. A cold and lifeless body, one that would never breathe another breath again.

Lionblaze turns to the crowd outside, murmuring the news in a hushed tone. Mutters of shock and sorrow fill the hollow as clanmates turn to inform each other or the news. Cinderheart walks forward, and presses her flank against her mates comfortingly. All Lionblaze can do is flick his ear in acknowledgement of her presence.

Leafpool is now next to her sister side, running a soothing tail along her spine. Jayfeather is nudging the kits away from the dead one, slowly but surely, not wanting to upset their mother. He knows how protective queens can get over a lost kit. Bramblestar just bows his head in grief.

Squirrelflight does not want to let her son go, curling him close to her as much as she can. She wants to stay with him as long as possible, even if there is no life in him anymore. She has only known him for a few hours. She is not ready to give him, or any of siblings, up. She never will be.

"Let Jayfeather take him. Juniperkit needs to be buried." Leafpool mutters quietly to her sister, sensing how she feels. Sandstorm is doing the same on her other side, but her sister's voice is the only one able to break through the fog in Squirrelflight's head. "You know he'll be gentle."

Once the words reach her, Squrrielflight can only give a small nod in response, and watches dully as Jayfeather picks up her youngest son; then carries him away for the first and last time. She wails again once he is gone, and will keep wailing throughout the night.

The rest of the night becomes a blur for Squirrelflight, after that. The only cats she is aware of beside her are Bramblestar, and they're three remaining kits. Even Leafpool is lost to the fog, eventually. She does not even notice when Sandstorm leaves, and passes Daisy on her way out. The first cat who is not kin to see her kits.

Back in the clearing, Jayfeather sets the kit down right the middle of camp, where all the vigils are held. The medicine cats tail is drapped sadly across the grass, his shoulders hunched. Sandstorm, after exchanging a glance with Daisy, pads over to join him. She trusts the cream queen to look after her grieving daughter, more than she trusts anyone else to do so.

Lionblaze follows them, and so does Cloudtail. Both toms sit to their medicine cats right, head bowed and tails dropping. Leafpool joins them shortly, once she has made sure the other three kits are healthy and has covered the late one's body in lavender. The rest of their clanmates hover at a distance, still reeling from the shock of it all. It is not often such a young cat is taken. Most of them have no idea what to do.

Briarlight is the first cat who is not kin to make her way over, pushing herself across the clearing and towards Jayfeather. She presses herself against the medicine cat, trying to being him any sort of comfort. In return, he rests his tail along her spine. She is the only cat who is not kin to stay for the whole vigil, never leaving her friend's side. Squirrelflight will thank her later.

Their clanmates follow Briarlight's lead, ready to sit vigil. Even if they will not stay the whole night like Juniperkit's kin will. The elders crouch together, Purdy muttering solemnly to himself. Graystripe sits next to Sandstorm, and kets his old friend lean on his shoulder. Millie bows her head on her mate's other side.

Dovewing squeezes herself in-between Lionblaze and Jayfeather. The golden warrior leans on her, and the medicine cat touched his nose to her ear thankfully. Ivypool follows behind her sister not long after, drapping a comforting tail along Lionblaze's back. The latters own family huddles behind her, heads bowed and tails dragging across the grass. They are all part of the group that stays the longest.

Bramblestar leaves to go sit vigil, and it is then Squirrelflight fights through the grief clouding her head. Daisy now lies next to her, replacing the warmth of her mate. There is such sadness shining in the queen's blue eyes. One would almost think she'd lost her own kit that night.

"I'll keep them for a minute." Daisy mumbles, pressing her muzzle into Squirrelflight's cheek fur. "You say goodbye to your son."

The deputy, who feels nothing like her title at the moment, nods. Squirrelflight forces herself to her paws, and stumbles into the clearing. But not before watching Daisy curls around her three kits, and use her fluffy tail to keep them warm.

She stumbles over to the vigil, barely aware if where she's going. But she gets there eventually. Every other cat, including her own mate, moves away to give her space next to her late kit.

(Her son, her beautiful son, the one named after his sister, is dead. Is that why they killed him? For his name? Was Squirrelflight not allowed to have a piece of her daughter at all? Was she just supposed to suffer? To live with nothing but the memories?)

Squrrielflight presses her nose into her son's fur, and starts muttering prayers. She prays for Hollyleaf to watch over him in Starclan. She prays that Firestar will keep him safe and happy. She prays for Ferncloud and Sorreltail and all the other queens to love him as if he was their own, and let him make friends with their own kits taken far too soon. She prays for her clanmmates long gone to be kind to her son, and show him how to be a Thunderclan cat.

___________________________________

Two moons later, another of of her kits passes. Daisy is with them when it happens, helping with the three of them as she always does She is the kits favorite babysitter by far, her time as a nursey queen giving her much experience. The cream she-cat has been such a help with these three, Squirrelflight does not know what she'd do without her.

Today, while Daisy watches Sparkkit and Alderkit, Squirrelflight sits with Dandelionkit. Her youngest daughter, the one that has been sick for over a moon now. She sits with Dandelionkit like this often, trying to coax herbs into her, or providing comfort as she throws up whatever meal she'd had that day. It is a tiring process. Squirrelflight would do a hundred more times if she had too.

Thunderclan's two medicine cats sit with her today, helping as they often do. Dandelionkit, understandably, does not like eating herbs multiple times a day, every day. Sometimes they struggle to get any medicine in her at all. And today seems like it's going to be one of those days, both of her parents attempts having failed already. And a healer can only do so much for an unwilling patient.

Jayfeather pushes a small pile of herbs towards his adopted sister, his voice soft when he speaks. He's always soft when talking to her. "You have to eat your herbs, Dandelion."

"But they taste yucky!" Dandelionkit wrinkles her nose at the plants, frowning. She moves away from her older brother, closer to Squirrelflight's warmth. Jayfeather sighs. That is his third attempt trying to her to take them, and it's a wonder his patience has just now started to run thin.

"You see Alderkit and Sparkkit getting a badger ride?" Leafpool chimes in, drawing her niece closer to her with her tail. All before her son can say anything snappy, like he was clealry about too. She was always better at dealing with their younger paitents than Jayfeather was, anyways.

Dandelionkit looks over to where he brother and sister are indeed getting a badger ride, both kits laying on Daisy's back. "Yeah!?"

"If you eat all your herbs, you'll be able to get a badger ride too! Don't you wanna play with your siblings?" Leafpool says, pushing the herbs closer once again.

After a moment of consideration, and watching how much fun her littermates where having, Dandelionkit nods. "Okay then, I'll eat 'em!"

"Good." Jayfeather purred, prior annoyance forgotten as quickly as it had come. Dandelionkit eats her herbs, thankfully with only a little coughing this time. But her face does screw up in disgust, something Squirrelflight thinks she did on purpose. She can make a disgusted face all she wants, as long as she eats the herbs.

Later, when Daisy returns Alderkit and Sparkkit to her for their afternoon nap, is when everything goes wrong. It's when Dandelionkit starts coughing, coughing like she never has before. Her daughter's eyes roll back, and that is when Squirrelflight knows this is serious.

"Leafpool!" She calls out, panicked beyond belief. Daisy grabs Alderkit and Sparkkit, hidding the scene from them with her tail. "Leafpool, it's Dandelionkit!"

Her sister barges into the den only a moment later. She had probably only just returned to the medicine cat den, thankfully leaving her close by and in camp. Her former apprentice is once again right behind her, even though he had not be called for. Squirrelflight is glad he's hear anyways.

But Jayfeather and Leafpool, try as they might, can not do anything. All they can do is help her through the coughing fit, and provide comfort as the sickness finally runs it fatal course. All they can do is usher her away from her siblings, and pray the two little kits remain unscathed by this event.

They hold vigil for Dandelionkit that night. Squirrelflight sends up the same prayers she did last time, the same cats and the same kin around her. Bramblestar sits next to her, stating at nothing. Alderkit and Sparkkit are hiding in his tail, sniffling and crying for a sister that will never wake up again. Saying goodbye to a kit feels just as hollow as it did the first two times.

(Squirrelflight almost wonders if Starclan's trying to punish her for their own actions.)

The next day, once the small family is nack in the nursey, Daisy curls around all of them. Squirrelflight allows herself to hide in her friend's cream fur, and block out the world. She allows the other queen to scoop her kits closer and help take care of them for the next few days.

Squirrelflight mutters her thanks to Daisy, for being such a help. For showing Dandelionkit love and fun, even when her sickness got in the way. Daisy mutters back that she would do it all over again if she had to. That it was the very least she could do.

___________________________________

The kits are four moons old now, and have become quite a pawful to take care of.

Lionblaze comes back from a hunting patrol, and is near instantly tackled by an excited Sparkkit. She boucnes around his paws, just like his own kits had done a few moons before. Her parents get the same treatment too, whenever they come back, Bramblestar usually making up some story about the patrol to tell her. Her daughter is so excited to see the forest, and Squrrielflight knows she'll be an excellent apprentice.

Alderkit spends a lot of time in the elders den, clinging to Sandstorm. He says she's his favorite grandma. Sandstorm laughs, and points out she's his only grandma. Alderkit doesn't care, and says she's his favorite grandma again. The other elders, Purdy especially, find him adorable, and don't mind his contact visits. They say it's nice to have some company.

Her son also seems to be interested in the medicine den, trailing behind Jayfeather or Leafpool at any chance he gets. Leafpool thinks it's cute, while Jayfeather says the kit needs to stay away from his herbs. Though they all know he finds Alderkit endearing, since he never kicks him out of the medicine den like he kicks out other cats.

Speaking of the medicine den, that is where Alderkit has found himself today. It's where he finds himself a lot of days, really. He's just so drawn to the herbs and what they do. Plants being able to heal a cat is so cool, it's like magic to him. He wants to know how to do it one day, and be just as good as his kin are.

And that day, Jayfeather's looks towards his adopted brother, and asks why he likes coming in here so much. Other than just really liking him and Leafpool. Alderkit practically beams at the question.

"I wanna be a medicine cat, so I can help cats!" Alderkit says, looking up at Jayfeather. His amber eyes look just like his sisters used too. "Like you two helped my siblings!"

The blind tom looks down at him, startled. He doesn't know what to say to that, too caught off gaurd by the awnser. But thankfully his mother does.

"That's wonderful, Alderkit." Leafpool says, a gentle look on her face. "I'm sure Jayfeather would love to train you. Wouldn't you, Jay?" She looks towards her son, giving him a look. One that says don't be rude. He wasn't going to be.

"Yes," Jayfeather says, smiling down at his brother. And he's not lying about it when he says, "I would."

It's the happiest they've ever seen Alderkit, ever since his siblings passed. He looks just as happy as Sparkkit does when she talks about becoming a warrior. And Squirrelflight has never been more grateful for it.

#ron.fic #squirrelflight #leafpool #jayfeather #lionblaze #bramblestar #sandstorm #alderheart #sparkpelt #juniperkit #dandelionkit #daisy wc #warrior cats #warriors fanfic #wc fanfic

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