#KJDHGKDLHG
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thought spotify's 'daylist' thing was gonna be wholesome and optimistic but instead it gave me a 50 song playlist called lyrics breakup tuesday night so that's pleasant
#mano.mindtalk#like that is exactly everything i did not want to think about so thank you for that#KJDHGKDLHG#the way the preview for it was this pretty pastel pink n yellow n blue icon and the one it made me is just dark dark dark blue JKDFHGKDLFGH#cancelling my premium subscription as i speak#right after my friend sent a relatively inconsiderate breakup meme too LMFAODJKFLHDFG#i love her but man KJDHFGLKDHG why would she send me that ðŸ˜#friend's gf who went to the hozier concert today also sent me a video of him performing i carrion and i cried for a few hours after#all in all i'd say i'm definitely surviving but KJDFGHLDFG that's about all i'm doing#neg#throwing stuff onto here as usual bc if people i really know have to hear about any of this i might throw up until i have no stomach left#feeling hurt at all feels gross but this particular breed of it that i don't know if i'll ever let go of or get past is a special funk#there's nothing to blame and nothing to hate and nothing to use to try and replace the hurt with disappointment or frustration#there's just . idk. fear??
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