#Katniss: hey can we set aside a few hours to explore this whole “kissing” thing

[shinynewmemories]

The post-feast cave kiss will never not be funny to me. Like I get that there's nuance and trauma and confusion and that Katniss is struggling to understand her feelings for Peeta, but also... She literally says that's the first time they're able to kiss without one of them in some altered state of consciousness or actively dying. And it just HAPPENS to be THAT kiss that makes her want more? Homegirl let me get this straight: the FIRST time you're able to kiss like normal, physically healthy people, you think "oh this is NICE. I'll have more of this please". Idk Katniss, I'm no expert on attraction but I think you might be into him if your reaction to your first real, uninhibited kiss is "ANOTHER!!!!"

[everlarkbirthdaygifts]

Happy Birthday uniquepizzacollectionblog!

Posting this possibly early for you @uniquepizzacollectionblog (it’s May 16 in Australia), but we at @everlarkbirthdaygifts wish you a happy birthday :) We present you with a lovely fic by @booksrockmyface that she has written especially for you! Enjoy!

Title: Let the Light Illuminate these Hopeless Places

Rating: M

Author’s note: Happy birthday!! I hope it’s the best day ever and that this meets your wishes. The title comes from a line in the Paramore song Idle Worship.

Katniss was always early to everything. Even dragging her feet she still arrived at the high school gym a couple minutes after seven.

Delly, their class president, was sitting at the entrance with a table full of nametags. “Oh, Katniss!” Her smile was as bright as ever. “I’m so glad you came.”

“Well, I had nothing better to do.” Katniss mumbled as she reluctantly accepted the other woman’s hug.

Delly gave her musical laugh as she moved away. “You’re always so dry.” She picked up a nametag and handed it over, marking something in a nearby notebook.

“We graduated with one hundred and eleven people, Delly.” Katniss affixed the sticker to her green blouse anyway.

“Have you seen the Facebook pictures?” Delly asked wryly. “Some of them have changed.”

With a laugh, Katniss stepped past Delly into the gym and made a beeline for the refreshments table.

“Well, you haven’t changed a bit.” A deep voice said from a few feet away.

Katniss lifted her eyes and looked right into the deep blue of Peeta Mellark’s. She gave an uncertain smile. “You definitely have.” She said softly.

Peeta shook his head. “Just not as lanky anymore.” He patted his stomach. “Far from it.”

Katniss swallowed. He was still handsome, but grown up from fifteen years before. His ashy blonde hair was streaked with gray. His face was still the same, but with a few laugh lines starting to form. He had always found something to smile about, even in the toughest times.

Peeta indicated the pastry. “My dad donated some goodies.”

Katniss snatched up a cheese bun. “Did you help make them?”

“Not this time.” Peeta waved at someone across the room. “I’m trying to finish a portrait. I’ve had so much graphic design jobs that I fell behind.”

Katniss nodded, letting the flaky bread melt in her mouth. “Prim said she heard you got a gallery showing.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I did.” Pouring a cup of punch, he continued, “It was decently received. Even sold a few paintings.”

“Good.” She took the cup he offered. “Great.”

“And what about you? What are you doing these days?” He paused and shook hands with a few more of their classmates that came over to greet him.

Katniss politely nodded her hello. When they were finally alone again, she cursed herself for not making an exit. She hadn’t realized just how much she missed Peeta. He’d always been so easy to talk to.

She moved a little away from the table and he followed. The gym was starting to fill up. “I work for the city. Code enforcement.” She looked around the room, trying to find a reason to leave. “Picking up stray dogs and transporting to the pound.”

Madge hurried over and threw her arms excitedly around Peeta. “Hey, Globetrotter! Welcome back!”

Peeta laughed and returned her hug. “Hi, Madge.”

Madge stepped back. “You need to come home more often.”

Peeta shrugged. “I have to go where I’m called for now. I’m not entirely established.” He looked toward Katniss and then back to Madge. “If someone’s father could be convinced to support that mural in the county courthouse….”

“You know it’s the city council dragging their feet.” Madge waved her hand. She smiled at Katniss. “Your boyfriend had to work over. He’ll be here in a few.”

Katniss laughed. “Maybe he’ll show before I make my exit.”

“Yeah, you always sneak away before it gets too crazy at these things.” Madge joined her laugh. “I told him I was walking out the door when he was still showering, so he’s probably not too happy with me.”

Gale came in then and made his way over, his hair still visibly damp. “You could have waited five more minutes.”

“I promised Delly I’d be here early.” Madge indicated Peeta. “You remember Peeta, don’t you?”

Gale gave the other man a hard look and held out his hand. “Hey.”

Peeta glanced between Gale and Katniss before he returned the shake. “Hey.”

Delly took the stage and called everyone’s attention. She made a few announcements, but Katniss didn’t pay much attention. She was watching Peeta.

The way it ended nearly fifteen years before was all her fault. She’d stopped answering his calls early on. She never visited Mellark’s bakery on weekends or when she knew Peeta would be on break from school. And then she stopped going all together, relying on Prim to pick up her favorite cheese buns and bring back news of Peeta’s life in the Real World along with them.

People moved to the dance floor as Bascstreet Boys started blasting through the speakers. Katniss shook her head when Madge tried to bring her along.

“The wallflower will watch the festivities.” Katniss said. “I only promised I’d be here, not that I’d participate.”

Peeta hung back, too. “Want another drink? Cheese bun? Slice of cake?”

Katniss shook her head. “I don’t even want to be here.” She sighed. “I promised Prim and Gale that I’d try to be social, but you know me. It’s not my style.”

“If Prim was here, I’m sure she’d drag you to all the little groups.” Peeta said with a grin.

“She would. Too bad she’s working.” She pulled out her phone. “I’ve been here an hour. Do you think Delly would get mad if I book it?”

Peeta looked around the room. “All these people here? Probably.” He gave Katniss a smile so wide the dimple appeared in his cheek. “But if you want to go, I think she’ll understand.”

“Come with me.” Katniss wasn’t sure why she said it, but she did anyway.

He nodded. “Anywhere.”

____

Katniss hurried into the house and kicked the pile of shoes closer together behind the door to hide the fact that she still had way too many and only wore the same two pairs. Then she put the dishes in the sink that were scattered around the kitchen and living room.

She was just about to run to her bedroom and throw her mound of dirty clothes into the closet when Peeta appeared at the door.

After she opened it, they stood awkwardly for several breaths. It had been so many years since they were alone. And for her, it had been just as long since she was with anyone. She was sure Peeta had gotten plenty of girls in their time apart.

He stepped closer. “It still smells the same in here.”

She laughed and held out her hand. “Something in the walls, I guess. I changed up everything else.”

Peeta pulled Katniss close. “Can we talk later?”

“Yeah.” She breathed just before he covered her mouth with his. She walked backward down the hall to her bedroom and paused. She stepped back and held up a finger. “One second.”

Slipping into the room, she kicked all the clothes into the same corner and made the bed look a little less like she just got up and never made it. She opened up the bedside table and looked at the ancient rolls of condoms she’d bought when she was dating Cato. They’d never gotten very far, so the protection had never been necessary. And were long expired.

She opened her bedroom door. “Go make yourself comfortable, I need to…” She walked past him into Prim’s room and took a condom out of her dresser. She could replace it later.

In her bedroom, she encountered Peeta struggling with the shoe on his prosthetic leg.

“You could just take the whole leg off.” She suggested, dropping down to her knees in front of him. “It’s not like I’ve never seen you without it.” She rolled up his pant leg.

“I’m just so used to…” He held onto the fabric as Katniss looked for the button to release the prosthesis. “You know, they see it and they usually run.” He admitted softly. “Women see a cute artist and think that maybe his flaws are mental. They can ignore those for a one night stand. But then they see I’ve only got one leg and it freaks them out.”

She sat the limb aside. “Well, I guess they didn’t deserve you if that’s all it took.” She sat up on the mattress beside Peeta and wrapped her arms around his middle. “I’ve thought about you a lot. And I would look you up on Prim’s Facebook sometimes. You always looked so happy.”

He smoothed his hand over her hair. “Only when I was around my paintings.” He kissed her forehead. “I missed you, Katniss. I missed you every day.” He let out a little snort. “One time Prim contacted me to try to set us back up. But I knew you’d never fall for it, so I backed out.”

Katniss sat up. “She makes a point to show me pictures of you. I don’t think she’s ever forgiven me for breaking up with you.”

“We were young, Katniss.” He assured her. “There was a lot going on in both our lives. Your mom had died, I was in college. We were going in different directions.”

“But it’s no excuse, Peeta. I needed you more then than ever and I just pushed you away.”

He framed her face. “Well, I’m here now. You haven’t pushed me away yet.”

She kissed him and then moved up onto the bed. “Come hold me and kiss me.”

Peeta didn’t hesitate. He stretched over Katniss, slipping his hand into hers as their mouths met.

The kiss was slow, lazy. They had all the time in the world. Hands roamed and it didn’t take long for them to get reacquainted with the feel of each other.

Katniss reached for Peeta’s buttons and pushed him up so she could remove the shirt. She pressed her lips against his shoulder, slipping her tongue out to taste his skin.

Peeta took Katniss’s hair out of its intricate braid as her mouth explored his torso. It was no easy task with her ministrations. But it was finally done and he combed his fingers through her long, soft tresses.

“Can I kiss you now?” He murmured into her hair.

She sat back with a seductive grin, already unbuttoning her blouse. After enough buttons were open, she pulled it off over her head and threw it into the corner with the rest of her dirty clothes. Peeta already had his hands around her back to unclasp her bra.

She reclined on the bed and lifted her arms up for him to slide the straps of her bra over them. He gave her a cheeky smile and flung it into the same corner as her shirt.

She laughed and slipped her fingers into his hair. “I’ve never been good at keeping up the laundry.”

“It’s okay.” He kissed her softly, covering one of her breasts in his big, warm hands. “I can come wash it for you sometime.”

She smiled against his lips. “You haven’t been home in years.”

“I was avoiding you.” He kissed her again. “And myself.” He brushed his lips along the length of her jaw before licking a line down her neck. He lifted his head just a fraction and whispered, “God, I’ve missed the way your skin tastes.”

The proclamation made Katniss tremble. And then when Peeta clenched his mouth to her shoulder, she let out a surprised yelp.

His head shot up. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be.” She pulled him back down. “Come back here.”

He closed his mouth over her shoulder again and sucked a bruise into her skin while she reached between them to slip her hand into his pants. He bucked into her palm and let out a low moan.

“There’s a condom.” She panted. “I put it somewhere.”

Peeta sat up and looked around. He hopped up and pushed his pants down before he sat on the edge of the bed. He leaned over and picked something. Turning slightly, he held up the square package with a grin. “You ready for this?”

Katniss waved her hand to indicate his erection. “For all of this?” She laughed and pushed her pants off. “Come on.”

“You didn’t throw those to the right pile.” He said with a grin as he rolled the condom in place.

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around him from behind. She pressed kisses along his neck. “My favorite part before was how you always insisted on cuddling after. And I always said I didn’t like it. But I really did.” She pulled his earlobe into her mouth and sucked. “Sometimes I just miss being held.”

He turned. “I’ll hold you however long you want.”

Katniss considered it a moment and then stretched out on her side, pulling him in behind her.

Peeta held her against his chest. They breathed in time together. She reached back and slid her fingers into his hair. He kissed her shoulder as he lifted her leg.

She helped guide him inside her and then returned her hand to his hair, twisting her head so that his mouth was closer to her ear.

As he moved, he murmured softly in her ear. “You always felt perfect.”

“Only because I was your first.” She commented.

“And I was yours.” Peeta pulled Katniss onto her back and stretched out over her. “I want to see your face.”

She smiled and wrapped her legs around his waist as he entered her again. “It’s not much to look at anymore.”

He shook his head. “It’s even better now.” He dropped kisses all over her face as he continued to move slowly.

It wasn’t much longer until both of them had labored breathing. Katniss was very close. She clutched at his shoulders and tightened all her muscles around him as she let herself step over the edge.

Peeta followed in the same moment, letting himself go. He threw his head back and let out a primal growl.

When he came back to himself, he stretched out beside her and pulled her close. “Is this still okay?”

“Mm-hm.” She pulled the blanket up over them as she snuggled close to his chest. She kissed him and murmured against his lips, “Stay with me?”

She was just about to fall asleep when she heard him answer, “Always.”