#Kris is non-binary and there is nothing you can do to stop that!

[sudoscience]

New In Town: Background Info

Click here for a version with working hyperlinks.

Although it's never explicitly stated by the games, I'm going to assume the story is set in the US, or at least a country like it. The existence of monsters likely altered the course of several events in human history, so it's possible things are actually radically different. For the purposes of this story, I'll assume most things are still the same unless stated otherwise, (e.g. the American Revolution was still in 1776, and World War II was still in the early-middle of the 20th Century.).

Let's also just go ahead and say the story takes place in 201X for now.

[For the record, I pronounce 201X as "twenty-ex-teen". I guess you could say it "two-oh-one-ex", but why would you? I also assume it refers to the whole decade, so, for example, when I say "the early part of 201X", that could mean anywhere between 1 January 2010 and 31 December 2014.]

Navigation:

Humans and Monsters (Current headcanon)

Humans and Monsters (Old) (Preserved for posterity)

Footnotes

Master Post

Humans and Monsters

Humans and monsters have always coexisted relatively peacefully, at least as well as humans and humans. There have been some smaller wars over land and resources, but nothing like the war in Undertale (hereinafter "The War").

Someone still remembers that other universe, though. The universe where monsters freely used magic. The universe where a monster could absorb a human SOUL. The universe where the monsters were sealed underground and later systematically slaughtered by a human child. Perhaps that someone is W. D. Gaster. Perhaps it is Chara. I haven't decided yet. Until that time comes, I'll call that person Individual 1.

Individual 1 remembers the world of Undertale, but the version they remember is the one in which the genocide route takes place. After that world is destroyed, Individual 1 uses their DETERMINATION to bring the world back. They restore the world to long before The War takes place. Individual 1 convinces the King of All Monsters (who is probably someone other than Asgore) to strictly curtail the use of magic. It is Individual 1's belief that the only way to prevent The War from occurring is if humans never learn that monsters can absorb their souls. This is why we don't see evidence of magic in Deltarune.1

Sometime in 1965, a man in Twin Falls (Bill Hammond) learns of the monsters' hidden power. He attempts to alert the government, but it's years before anyone in power takes him seriously. Most people view him as a crackpot; he's this universe's Alex Jones. However, he begins to gain a following among the commoners, who take to calling themselves the Arcane Enforcement Unit. Hate crimes against monsters become more frequent, and the government establishes the Directorate of Inter-Species Relations to combat this.

Hammond's influence grows, and he runs for president multiple times, though he rarely gets more than 2% of the vote. In 1996, his campaign performs surprisingly well, but he is assassinated. His following was strongest in Twin Falls, and it once again becomes a hot spot for anti-monster sentiment, only this time it extends to humans who are considered "monster sympathizers", including Kris's birth parents and eventually Rudy, who is born around this time.

Paul and Judy Harper are DISR employees in Twin Falls. In 2003, the year Asriel is born,2 the DISR begins a joint operation with DHS and FBI to infiltrate the AEU, which is now suspected as a terrorist organization. The Harpers are assigned to the team, Operation Golden Flower, as undercover agents in 2005. In 2007, Judy becomes pregnant. Later that year, their cover is nearly blown. In order to keep their child safe, they begin making arrangements with some old friends of theirs, the Dreemurr family in Hometown. Their son is born in December,​3 and adopted by the Dreemurrs immediately. A few months later, Paul and Judy are killed; their death is not publicized classified in order to avoid jeopardizing the operation.

In the early part of 201X, an AEU supporter named Noah Trey Ullman is elected mayor of Twin Falls. This is when things really start to go south. Ullman incites violence against monsters and monster sympathizers. They usually stay out of the majority monster neighborhoods, but they tend to target monsters who are known to affiliate with humans. This is what prompts Rudy to move to Hometown.

Humans and Monsters (OLD)

Humans and monsters have always coexisted, but there's always been a lot of tension between them. For most of their history, they've lived more or less independently of each other. As humans began to industrialize, they began to expand and encroach on monster territory.1 Interactions with monsters became more frequent, as did altercations. While there hasn't been an outright war between humans and monsters, there have been frequent skirmishes, akin to the US and the Native Americans. There was a period where humans sought to make use of magic, primarily by employing the monsters. The monsters were often subjected to inhumane conditions, and uprisings, while infrequent, were not unheard of.

Knowing that a monster with one or more human souls could become a being of great power, this practice was eventually outlawed. Humans became reluctant to hire monsters at all, and most monsters eventually relocated to their own settlements. These are similar to Indian reservations, with the distinction that they are not considered sovereign. In order to keep things under control, the government created the Directorate of Inter-species Relations in the mid-19th Century. Under the pretense of fairness, the DISR banned the use of magic about 100 years ago;2 this would theoretically allow more monsters to be hired, so long as they weren't being exploited for their magical abilities. In practice, because magic is so central to a monster's existence, this drastically changed the monsters' way of life. Initially, smaller acts of magic were allowed, but as more monsters moved into settlements, their interactions with humans became less frequent, and the humans became more fearful, having only the legends and rumors to inform them rather than their own experiences. Eventually, all magic was banned, and the Arcane Enforcement Unit was created in 1956 to enforce said ban.

Of course, some monsters remained in the human cities. They felt they still had ties there, and refused to move. They are largely relegated to their own neighborhoods, and the AEU does its best to "gently encourage" them to relocate. Other than the AEU, very few humans interact with monsters.3

What happened five years ago?

There was a change in leadership at the AEU, and they became much more aggressive in their policing.

[I think this was a separate subsection because I originally planned on writing more, but now it seems pretty silly to have a subsection with just one sentence.]

Footnotes

Notes for New Info

There are several reasons I decided to scrap the old backstory, but this was probably the main one. I really liked the theory that Deltarune takes place after the Genocide Route, and I wanted to expand on that. I'm no longer sure I buy that theory, but I still think it's a cool idea. ↑

As noted in the "Headcanon for Existing Characters", I originally planned for Asriel to have started college early, which would further demonstrate how exceptional he is, and also factor into the resentment Kris wishes they didn't have of him. This is also his first semester of college, which is why Kris is so worried he'll have changed. I think I'll keep him a freshman, but increase the age gap between them. When Asriel gets back from college, he'll have just turned 19, while Kris will be turning 14 very soon. I'm assuming he's returning for Thanksgiving Break (and also that Thanksgiving still exists in this world), and this is the first time he's been back home since he left for college. ↑

Yes, Kris's full name is Krismas (no, not really). Their birthday is 22 December, and Asriel's is 15 September (unless there's an official birthday listed somewhere, in which case it's that). I hope it's okay if I write that Kris is biologically male, even though they identify as non-binary. Since I've already changed their pronouns in the main story, this is probably the only time it will ever be mentioned, unless maybe they go swimming or something. I got the idea from @caretaker-au and how they represent Chara as male non-binary (is that the right way to say that?); I know some people find that blog to be problematic, but I think that was more to do with them drawing porn of Chara and Asriel, not because they drew Chara as biologically male. (For the record, I was not aware of that when I started following them, especially since Tumblr banned porn a year before I even bought Undertale.) ↑

Notes for Old Info

Another reason I dropped this: I'm pretty sure this was inspired by @wolven0ne-universe's "Long Road" AU. Actually, there's a lot that was inspired by Long Road, even in the new backstory: the decision to have multiple OCs, the way magic supposedly works, humans exploting monsters for their magic, a shadowy organization that abducts monsters because of their magical abilities, etc. Some of this is attributable to the fact that I never read fanfics prior to playing Undertale, so some of these were "inspired" by Long Road simply by virtue of it being, like, the second fanfic I ever read, ever. (The first was "Flowey is Not A Good Life Coach".) Anyway, my point here is that I dropped this backstory in part because I didn't want it to be too similar to Long Road, not because I suddenly stopped liking Long Road. ↑

Here's an additional reason I changed the backstory: I wasn't sure if this was a believable timeline. I feel like it's plausible that human society would forget that monster magic involves a lot more than just a monster's ability to abosrb a human soul in just 100 years, but that doesn't seem like nearly enough time for monster society to forget that monsters can use magic. Plus, if monsters and humans have coexisted for all of human history, and monsters have been using magic for like 99% of said history, that seems like it could have created a lot of ripple effects that I would spend way too much time thinking about. Like, what if the existence of magic resulted in the first Industrial Revolution happening in the 15th Century? What would Earth look like in 201X if that were the case? I just didn't want to deal with all of that. ↑

Other than wanting to believe that Deltarune takes place after the Genocide Route, the next most important factor in my decision to scrap this backstory is that it's just really dark. The story has enough potentially depressing shit that I didn't need to add a monster Trail of Tears on top of it all. Plus, I was worried it might come across as racially insensitive. ↑

[sophygurl]

Navigating Body Image While Genderqueer / Genderfluid / Non-Binary - WisCon 41 panel write-up

These get long to click the clicky to read.

Disclaimers:

I hand write these notes and am prone to missing things, skipping things, writing things down wrong, misreading my own handwriting, and making other mistakes. So this is by no means a full transcript.

Corrections, additions, and clarifications are most welcome. I’ve done my best to get people’s pronouns and other identifiers correct, but please do let me know if I’ve messed any up. Corrections and such can be made publicly or privately on any of the sites I’m sharing these write-ups on(tumblr and dreamwidth for full writings, facebook and twitter for links), and I will correct ASAP.

My policy is to identify panelists by the names written in the programming book since that’s what they’ve chosen to be publicly known as. If you’re one of the panelists and would prefer something else - let me know and I’ll change it right away.

For audience comments, I will only say general “audience member” kind of identifier unless the individual requests to be named.

Any personal notes or comments I make will be added in like this [I disagree because blah] - showing this was not part of the panel vs. something like “and then I spoke up and said blah” to show I actually added to the panel at the time.

Navigating Body Image While Genderqueer / Genderfluid / Non-Binary

Moderator: Theo Nicole Lorenz. Panelists: Lee Bauersouth, Sam Einhorn, Jack Evans, Kris Mayer, Mo Ranyart

#NavigateGNCBodyImage for the livetweets and such

[I feel like I’ve both moderated and been on a version of this panel in past years, so it was neat to just be in the audience this time. Also - while looking around me at the panelists and my fellow audience members while waiting for the panel to start, my internal monologue was just a bouncy repetition of the word “Gender! Gender! Gender!” because IDK folks, I just adore gender and it’s many permutations and discussions of it all.]

Theo began the panel by acknowledging that the panelists were mostly white AFAB folk and that they wanted to invite other perspectives to join them. They also said everyone uses their own language for their own bodies and identities and if people use any words that make you feel uncomfortable, you should do what you need to take care of yourselves and no one will judge you for leaving if you need to.

Jack, referencing pre-panel joking around, introduced themselves by saying “I am goat, and I’m a goat.” Then seriously added that they are a non-binary trans man - but kinda wooshy-washy about it. They added that, as Theo’s assistant, the two talk about gender a lot. 

Sam began their intro with “I am Sam and I am *not* a goat”, and then added that they are genderqueer or maybe non-binary - they have trouble figuring it out. But mostly ID as a genderqueer butch person depending somewhat on the day. 

Sam also talked about how they discovered all of this gender stuff around the time as discovering fat acceptance movement and wanted to talk about how those two things informed each other.

Lee’s introduction began with “I’m questioning if I’m a goat or not...” - then worried some about if they’d offended anyone by calling themselves a goat and added “This is SO Sunday.” Lee introduced themselves as actually being agender, which they consider to be under the umbrella of genderqueer. 

Lee added that genderqueer and gender dysphoria are not a circle but a venn diagram and said “I’m in that sliver.” 

Mo left off the goat-joke intro and introduced themselves as being a femme non-binary trans dude - sort of. They also talked about fat activism in addition to having a history with an eating disorder. They said that they do have trans-related body dysphoria. 

Kris introduced themselves as non-binary and butch - mainly due to how they are read by society. They added that internally, they feel like there are rules to butchness and they don’t follow them, so they don’t necessarily identify as butch. They also talked about how we often worry about doing gender right - even as we tell others and ourselves that there is no right or wrong to how to do gender.

Lee added that they forgot in their intro to say that they are also coming at this topic from the perspective of a professional therapist.

Theo began their introduction with “I describe my identity as .... oh gosh... non-binary or agender or both?” They also said that they are stepping their toe tentatively into the trans pool and it kind of fits for them. 

Theo, author/artist of the coloring book Fat Ladies in Spaaaaace, created it while still thinking they were a cis woman. After discovering genderqueerness, they realized this thing they created for body positivity no longer fit for their own body. This was a loss to Theo. 

Theo then posed the question to the panelists - how has your relationship with body acceptance changed since realizing you’re not cis, and what do you need out of body acceptance movements now?

Jack acknowledged how Theo’s example was a loss, but for Jack there was something they gained when realizing they weren’t cis. It was so freeing because they suddenly didn’t have to fit a model of what a man or woman should be. But Then they started the transitioning process and felt they had to be more serious and conform again, which was hard.

Sam said they really didn’t know about trans, genderqueer, etc. for a long time. They discovered gender discourse and fat positivity around the same time. They were finding it was okay to be butch but not fat on the one hand, on the other in the fat pos. movement there were all of these expectations around femininity. So these two parts of Sam’s identity were constantly criss-crossing.

Lee talked about coming from the angle of chronic health conditions and the disability acceptance movements. They were being told to celebrate being a woman while having 9 week painful periods. They were being told to nourish their body while thinking - no, my body’s an asshole. They had an ablation, which they described as “I had my uterus electrocuted to send a message to my other organs”. 

Lee discussed the frustrations of feeling weaker and being treated as a delicate flower and how that made them want to find some plaid real quick. [I found myself nodding vehemently to this - nothing makes me wanna butch up more than getting sympathy for my chronic health issues]

Mo talked about having issues with “body positivity” - it felt like this was just a way to say it’s not okay to be fat but let’s celebrate other bodies! They talked about how “love your body” can feel like a kick in the teeth and loving one’s body can be really hard for some people. What about a truce instead? Can I have a friendly acquaintance with my body?

Mo also asked - can you be not-a-woman and be part of the fat acceptance movement? They had difficulty finding space for non-binary bodies in body acceptance. Instead of being part of the larger group, they’ve found smaller groups of people just huddling together. 

It can be hard to get all intersections covered so these movements need to be much larger and much more inclusive. 

Kris posed the question of - what if there are parts of my body I don’t want to make peace with? They talked about feeling violent towards certain body parts. When complaining about menstruation, they were told that it was a spectral of the goddess. They replied - no deity owns a part of my body.

Kris also talked about having dysphoria around their breasts. Am I allowed to say I don’t want to be positive about this?

Theo discussed how they were able to get top surgery and how that decreased their feelings of violence with their body. Post-surgery, Theo thought - “I hope they’re happy wherever they are now - maybe on a farm upstate somewhere - frolicking with all of the other breasts.” [I about bust a gut laughing - and had to share this with my friend who is about to have a double mastectomy because we’ve been making all sorts of jokes about her breasts post-surgery. Now we get to imagine them out there in a field romping around with other boobs - thanks Theo!! lol]

Theo posed the next question for the panelists - what do we need from these movements?

Lee answered with acceptance of the fact that chronic pain is not something they’re going to love. They compared their pain to a large dog shredding the sofa continuously and saying - “look, I’m trying to take care of you but you’re not making it easy! But if I stop taking care of you - you’ll crap on the bed.” [yes yes yes]

Jack answered - inclusion of all intersections. They talked about how they got into power lifting in order to build up masculine strength but then realized that health issues meant some days they couldn’t even lift a pencil. They don’t see many examples of trans guys like themselves.

Sam answered with more acceptance of different kinds of bodies - not just size related but gender, and other differences. The importance of not only letting these other kinds of bodies be there in the movements, but of actually making space for and including/welcoming them as well.

Mo talked about the problems with body acceptance focusing on the line of thinking like “you, too, can be attractive!” That’s good, but it’s not the whole thing. You should not have to love or accept parts of your body that are causing you actual harm or trauma, pain, dysphoria, etc. 

Mo also talked about things like “info for all the ladies out there” and being - what about me? Can that be for me too? Mo just wants more general awareness that not all people are like you - is that a big ask? It feels like it some days.

Kris brought up the decentering of attractiveness in these movements. Prioritizing beauty when not all of us are going to or even want to fit societal beauty norms. [wow this sent a lightbulb off in my head so big! need to think/write more about this myself]

Theo talked about more acceptance of bodies in liminal spaces. Bodies in transition are often treated like an unbaked cookie - someone adds in that those can be tasty so the panel finally settled on uncooked waffles as the analogy. So this uncooked waffle is treated like - well, you have potential to be something cool. What if I already feel done though? What if I’ve transitioned as much as I plan to? What if I don’t want to be fully cooked? 

Lee gave an example of a friend with many complicated health issues who was able to get phalloplasty but can’t take T - so there are some parts of the transition process they could and couldn’t do.

Jack added that in that example, the person had the phalloplasty without having a vaginectomy - they wanted to add that so that folks would know you could do it that way.

Mo talked about ways in which non-binary becomes it’s own box to fill in next to Male or Female instead of being an opt-out altogether. Often the idea of non-binary that people carry with them is an androgynous thin person in men’s clothing that’s tailored for people with breasts. And that’s great that those kind of clothes are being made and people who fit that archetype can find acceptance - but that’s not all that being non-binary is or all that non-binary clothing can be.

Kris talked about how they identified as genderqueer for a decade but then switched to non-binary because it felt like a shrug when it comes to gender. For years, Kris chased masculinity as the only model they knew. Now, they are having fun with nail polish and earrings. They added they get most of their accessories from Claire’s because inside they feel like their gender is a 13 year old girl. (Several panelists agreed with this notion for themselves)

Kris added that since exploring more of this feminine side, they find themselves worrying about outside perception of their gender - am I still non-binary enough? Trans enough?

Theo also related to the idea of chasing masculinity. They said they’re much happier since feeling more comfortable playing with femininity. 

Jack brought up sex positivity for a variety of different bodies - especially intersex bodies and for trans people who haven’t had “The Surgery.” 

Theo posed the question of where they’ve found what they needed as far as body acceptance and all of the panelists said at WisCon [me toooooo :)]

Theo also talked about finding a photo, on a website where there were hundreds of photos of trans bodies. This one photo looked like Theo’s body and the person in the photo looked so happy and free with their body and it really helped Theo to feel more acceptance and hope for themselves.

Sam discussed how getting positive reinforcement on twitter about both their gender exploration and their fatness has helped. This was Sam’s first WisCon and seeing so many people who look like them was also very powerful. Most of their friends don’t share all of their intersections. 

Jack reiterated what Sam said and added that they need WisCon for their soul - just to be with people like themselves. Jack then talked about how they didn’t use makeup until they came out as trans - it became more of a choice to them then. They started sharing selfies and got positive feedback and that helped too.

Mo also talked about how taking selfies has helped them. In particular, it’s helped them to gain a greater sense of themselves. Between the gender dysphoria and eating disorder, Mo spent a lot of time not knowing how their own body looked. The first time Mo shared a selfie online, they almost threw up. Then they got home and had 20 positive comments. So they kept trying to do it and have recently realized that they no longer feel sick when doing so. 

Mo also added that having good sexual experiences with people who are not assholes has helped. [I had some *feels* here]

Kris discussed the difficulty they’ve had in finding a network of friends, but they rely on support from friends online. They also feel lucky to have genuine family support.

Lee said - I guess I lied earlier. (Theo asked - so you ARE a goat?) Lee clarified that when they said earlier that they didn’t have any dysphoria, they’ve realized that they do have some around their breasts. 

[At this point, I became triggered by something said and stopped taking notes. This was through no fault of any of the panelists btw - they were only speaking from their own experiences but it was upsetting to me based on stuff going on in my own life so I closed my notebook and just listened to the rest of the panel, which was still really great and I’m sorry I didn’t get it all down. However, do check the hashtag for the panel for much more that I didn’t get! #NavigateGNCBodyImage]