#Kusa deserves all the hugs

[luxshine]

If you liked #RRR, then you owe it to yourself to watch #Jailavakusa. It's an amazing rollercoaster of emotions, and #NTRjr steals the show as the triplets, Jai, Lava and Kusa. And of course, I just had to draw them as the angels they are. (yes, even Jai). #fanart #Tollywood #luxshineart

[shhhlikeme]

“Losty Aone” / “Losty Mountain Man🏔” Series:

Outtake Collection #18.5:

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A/N: I know y’all wanna know what happens here sooo I’ll meet you down at the end with more of my authors notes!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

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EARLIER THAT NIGHT - 10:36 PM - ISSA MESS AT THE MOVIES - PART 2 😭🤡

“Hey. You sure you don’t want us to go with you? I can cancel with my parents and—“

You interrupted your friend, waving her off nonchalantly as you jumped out of the back her car. “No, no, Kusa. Thank you for driving me. You guys didn’t need to! But I really appreciate it. I need this time by myself to just…. You know…. Breathe.” 

Kusa frowned at you, still look unsure as to whether she should leave you alone at the theatre or not. Going to the movies alone is a little weird in her opinion, and she knows that you have still been so heartbroken from your breakup, so the fact that Aone had been asked out by one of the girls on the Date Teko cheer team that you considered a friend really hit you hard. 

Despite it all, she and Katana have agreed to let you deal with this the way you see fit, because forcing their desires on you wasn’t the right way to go, and the last time they tried that you cut them off for a week. They had to tread very carefully, as friends. 

“Okay, babe. Call us when you want to get picked up, Okay? We don’t mind.”

You nodded, wrapping your favourite jacket around you a bit more tightly. The sweater-jacket that actually belonged to the man you were in love with. “Thank you.” 

Shutting the door, you stepped back so that Kusa could drive away. 

Katana, who was sitting in the passengers seat, pressed the button to roll up her window and You gave them one last wave, ready to see them off, but just before you could Katana—quiet and deep in thought, pressed the same button to roll the window back down. The car didn’t budge.

“Y/N.” The pretty cheer captain said in a small voice, staring at her lap. You had to lean in to hear her.  

“Hm?”

Big brown eyes looked into yours as your bestie stared at you. It was silent for a moment and the intensity in the air was palpable. Finally, the brunette spoke. 

“I’m worried about you.” She finished, looking more serious than you’ve ever seen her. 

Earlier this Saturday night, you found yourself crying in the shower after you heard that an ex teammate of yours, Sutairu, is interested and has decided to pursue Aone. 

This girl was gorgeous, sweet, and has noticed your Mountain Man from day one, unlike you. There is not one bad thing you can say about her, and you were sure that eventually—especially with Futakuchi’s help—Aone would some day let his walls down for her. One day you would see the most perfect man in the world with another girl because you let him. 

And even though it’s what he deserves: a girl that is better than you, the thought alone shatters you every time it crosses your mind. 

Aone was on this girls instagram story,—a photo of him in another hoodie standing in front of the students he teaches with a caption saying: MCM🤫💋❄️

What did that mean? Could they be dating now? 

Enough was enough. After crying in your shower, You decided you needed a change in scenery, so you got dressed, only putting on concealer and keeping the natural state of your hair when it’s wet. You threw on a huge cardigan, a tank top and some jeans and told the girls what you had planned. Kusa wouldn’t take no for answer, so they insisted on dropping to you at the theatre to see this action-thriller you found on the website. 

So here you are, heart dragging behind you on the floor. You needed to be alone and you needed a change of scenery, that’s all you knew. So now hearing your besties and seeing the absolute fear for your well-being evident on their faces, made your stomach turn even more. Mainly because you couldn’t help them help you. No one can. So that’s why all you answered was, 

“I’m worried too.” Staring into the eyes of the two beautiful females you call your best friends. You then Added, “But I need this hour, okay?. I’ll see you guys later. I have my phone.” Without waiting for a response, you spun away from the car to walk into the large building downtown, straight to the bathroom so you could cry in the stalls prior to the movie.

After you spent a good 10 minutes using toilet paper to wipe under your eyes, then reapplying some conveniently packed concealer there in the mirror, you stuffed the Fenty Beauty case in your purse and walked out of the bathroom so that you can purchase your ticket at the self-serve automated machine. You had grabbed your ticket when it slid out the slot and were began walking to your designated theatre when you heard a familiar voice call out to you. 

“Hey! Y/N?”

Turning toward the voice, you looked over to see a group of 4 boys, all of which you’ve seen before, but in volleyball practice gear. While they were all staring over at you, naturally—your eyes settled on the one in the middle that you recognized the most. And the one who called your name. 

“Takeru,” You breathed, honestly relieved that it wasnt someone from school that you had to pretend you wanted to speak to. Takeru is someone you genuinely liked, that you actually got close to at the Volleyball/Cheer Camp last summer. 

“One sec!” He called, and you stood there waiting as Nakashima handed his card to his friends that were waiting at the ticket kiosk. One of them must have said something annoying to him, because Takeru blushed and told him to shut the fuck up. Feeling scrutinized by his friends, you wrapped your arms around your torso as he stealthily limbo-ed under the rope that divided the line from from the rest of the theatre. 

***

“Ouuu dudes, look. That’s Takanobu’s super hot girlfriend that you fell in love with last summer! This is your second chance bro, don’t fuck it up!” Takeru’s friend nudged him with his elbow and teased him from where he was standing in line. The other boys chuckled when he said that. 

Takeru went red—mostly because he knew it was true. “Shut the fuck up, I’m over her!” He defended himself. He resisted the urge to hit his friend for saying that out loud. Getting out the line because he couldn’t risk his dumb friends exposing his past crush like they almost did multiple times last summer, Nakashima escaped the line to approach you, finding himself jogging over, instead of walking. 

🤨

SLOW DOWN, Takeru told himself. ARE YOU REALLY THAT EXCITED TO SEE HER?

“Hi, Y/N!” The ex-high school volleyball player greeted you with a warm smile that neither of you had any idea was reserved for only you. “It’s been a while.” 

You forced a smile back, but you could see by the way that his own smile faltered that Takeru noticed your smile didn’t reach your eyes. “You okay?” He asked, concerned. 

Lying, you nodded, looking down at your boots and Nakashima resisted the urge to reach forward and tilt your head up. To touch your beautiful skin like he’s wanted to do since the first day you approached him for help, he really thought those emotions had fled… but being around you again made him realize that obvioulsy they hadn’t. 

She’s taken, idiot. The athlete reminded himself. 

“Is Takanobu here?” Nakashima thought to ask, distinctly remembering how much just mentioning his name would bring a big smile to your face back at camp, lighting it up in its entirety. 

So imagine Takeru shock, however, when you winced at the sound of his name instead of beamed. Still staring at your boots, you shook your head. “No, I’m here alone.” 

Alone?

Ask. He told himself. ASK!

“Um-ummm—“ is all he could stutter out.

S m o o t h, idiot. he chastised himself for being so lame. 

“Please, Takeru-san,” you lifted your head to look up at the man you considered to be a pretty good friend. “Don’t.” 

Even though his mind was buzzing with a million questions, Being the smart volleyball player he is, Takeru shut his mouth because the tears welling up in your eyes was enough of an answer than any. His heart sunk seeing you look so unbelievably broken. Without missing a beat, He switched gears. “—What movie are you seeing?” He asked instead. 

You grinned weakly but gratefully at his change in topic, a smile that actually did reach your eyes. “Uh, I don’t even know,” you chuckled pathetically. “I just picked any random movie, um, because, yeah.” 

She’s so cute, thought Nakashima. “Well it’s written on your ticket. Shall we see?” 

“Oh, uh, right.” Feeling dumb, you lifted the ticket in your hand and read the movie title aloud,

 “Jet Down 2.” 

A large amused smile graced Takeru’s face. “Really—that is probably the biggest ‘guy’ movie ever made,”

You nodded, not wanting to mention that hearing the title made you remember that your ex loved the original of this movie. Your nod introduced Takeru and yourself to an awkward silence. You weren’t about to tell him that you picked a movie that you’d be the least interested in so that you can cry in peace because the sounds of shit blowing up will drown out your sobs, no ma’am. If this was any other time, you would have been so happy to see and catch up with this boy. Asking a million questions and telling him how happy you were to see him. But unfortunately, all you could think about was the “MCM” Snapchat you saw earlier. You were devastated, and Takeru caught on to it.... seeing you about to shatter, yet again. He offered his help. 

“Want some company? Uh—“

You immediately shook your head. “No, Takeru-san! You came here with your friends. Enjoy that. Don’t mind me, I....“

Nakashima stared down at you like you were a work of art. When you stopped your pathetic babbling, he nodded slowly, recognizing the same expressions he’s seen his sister’s wear when they were on the verge of crying over a boy. Right before they yelled him to leave their room, leave them alone, and shut the door. The same rule probably applied here. Like an expert, Nakashima backed off. “Okay,” he continued nodding. “I guess I’ll go then. It was really nice seeing you.” He opened his arms and you leaned in for a chaste hug, immediately wishing the male arms around you belonged to a certain white haired volleyball player instead. 

Takeru, on the other hand, didn’t realize how much he missed the feel of you in his arms again. He didn’t want to let go. He wished that the feelings you had for Aone-san were for him. Stupid.

Uncharacteristically, Nakashima turned his head to whisper something in your ear before you let go. Before he never saw you again. “But, tonight, if you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m just one theatre over… Okay? I have a pretty comfortable shoulder, so just text me.” 

Holding back tears, you nodded, removing yourself to make your way to the bathroom again. 

***

Better late than never, you thought to yourself as you sadly sat in your seat in the theatre solo, unsure of how much time has even passed. You didn’t realize this stupid movie would be so packed, but you were thankful for assigned seating (since you specifically chose an aisle seat in case you needed to make another fast-cry escape). You just sat in your seat, curling into a ball and trying to hold it together the best you can.

You couldn’t.

Another 10-minutes later, you found yourself ugly crying in your three-quarter eaten popcorn, completely drenching the salty snack and making it soggy. 

A MESS, you called yourself. This movie was about guns and cars and shit blowing up—but all it took was one tiny little subplot romance scene to break you. LIKE I SAID: A MESS. 

One little stupid ‘be safe’ scene and you were thinking about the time you went to the movies with your ex boyfriend and current love of your life. That time, you had insisted on watching this scary movie but you were getting so unbelievably scared, refusing to leave when your boyfriend offered because you are strong af, so when you resorted to hiding yourself behind his bicep and whimpering instead. Takanobu had enough when he heard you make those sad noises, so he scooped you up from your seat so that you were sitting in his lap. That way, you felt his strong arms around you on boy sides and you were easily able to bury your face in his chest or finish the movie. You finished the movie.🥰

 You would like to say that that was one of the sweetest things that has ever happened to you, but what with being in a relationship with Aone Takanobu for the past year—that absolutely tooth rottenly sweet gesture wouldn’t even crack the Top 10. 

Your tears poured down your cheeks, and you imperceptibly wiped your tears on the sweater of his that you were wearing. Then you realized whose sweater it was and cried even harder! Your heart hurt so much. 

And to make matters worse, you ran out of tissues. 

Knowing that with your luck you’d run into someone you knew if you left now with a completely drenched face. A/N: or turned around :/desperate and sad, you decided to text your friend Takeru about your dilemma. All you asked him for were some tissues because he sort of knew what you were going through even though you didn’t spell it out for him. You hoped he could help for now and then later tonight you’d send him back the money he spent on his movie or something. You kept erasing the message but decided to send it when others in your row were possibly on to the fact that you were sniffling so much for more serious reasons. 

You sent it. Received a response within seconds saying he was on his way. 

Nakashima stumbled in to your the theatre not long after. You waved to him where you were seated in the dark, and he came over like a good friend, giving you a brand new popcorn and a set of tissues. You smiled weakly at the kind gesture and remembered that Aone is the entire reason why this boy Takeru is even here right now. Your tears re-established themselves as your date on this your solo movie night as you leaned your head on Nakashima’s shoulder, who told you that if Aone broke up with you he was an idiot. 

“I’m the idiot,” You whispered to him, because even if it was just a fleeting thought—Aone didn’t deserve any blame. Ever. He is undoubtedly the best person on this planet. “It’s me,” You whispered again, glad that your whiney voice was no match for the volume of the explosions on screen. You blew your nose in a tissue and resumed your position on Takeru’s shoulder. The gesture was platonic enough, but you realized then and there that there was only one shoulder you felt comfortable leaning on, whether it was friendly or not. You sat back up in your seat and met the gaze of a concerned volleyball player.  

“Takeru, I’m so sorry. Can you bring me home—“ the request died on your tongue as you witnessed, or at least you think you did— a dark blur of a a large body with…silver? No, white hair racing down the stairs as if he’d been pushed down them. The figure turned on its heels and fled the theatre in a faster speed than should be possible for a body so large. 

The oddness stopped you in your tracks for a second.

Why did that person-?

You were confused, until a waft of fresh mountainous breeze hit your nostrils, making you gasp. It was The best scent in the world. The scent that was vaguely imbedded in the sweater you were wearing. The scent that belonged to—oh God. You choked on your tears.

“Was that…..?” Your tear stained face scrunched together, trying to piece two-and-two together as your losty brain overworked itself. 

“What were you going to say? You want a drive home?” You could faintly hear Nakashima’s question even though he was right beside you. You were too busy thinking about how that couldn’t have been Aone who stormed out of here, would he choose this movie—oh my—

Lightbulb turning on, you whipped your entire upper body around and searched the seats for someone recognizable. While your scanning stopped momentarily on a few students from school, they ultimately swam to the person or persons you were looking for: There! Kenji-san and Koganagewa-san, two males who were looking at you and Takeru as if you two were the villains in the movie that just popped out of the screen. 

So that WAS Aone!

Why didn’t he come say hi?! 

Your heart started racing. Because you loved him. 

But if that was Aone..... 

Then why did he leave in such a hurry like that…?

And why were his friends looking at you and Nakashima like we…..?

Hold on. 

Your eyes take a mind of their own, whipping from Futakuchi, to Kanji, to Takeru, to Takeru’s shoulder that you ere just laying on, back to the vacant seat where Aone must have been sitting in the between his two friends, and then you looked down at your sweater—his sweater. You thought back to Aone’s shattered expression when you broke up with him by the Ferris wheel and then you saw your own brisk walk from that night redone in his body in the way he just left this theatre blur.

Oh no, You thought. Did this look like a…? With Takeru…?!

OH GOD NO. 

Your heart dropped like one of those rides at the amusement park: 

“Y/N. Are you okay? You look like you’re going to be sick! I can bring you home if you— Y/N? Y/N WAIT LET ME GET MY KEYS—!“ 

You were already gone, leaving your purse, wallet, phone and everything behind—not having to jump over anyones legs to run down the stairs and out of the theatre. You weren’t as fast as Aone, not by a long shot—but you’d be surprised how fast a girl can move when she’s running to the love of her life. 

Running around the empty theatre because everyone was watching a movie, you quickly checked the boys bathroom (not caring that you shouldn’t be in there) before realizing it was empty and then sprinting outside in to the cold night. 

Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. Please don’t be gone, you chanted. 

Your head snapped left and right, eyes scanning the parking lot for Aone’s car, and when you spotted it signalling and waiting to make a right out of the theatre, you dangerously raced toward it! Heart pumping, you jumped in front of the vehicle with both hands extended in front of you as if you had the strength to stop the car from moving if you could. 

The horn of the car honked dramatically, followed by a head that was not your Mountain Man’s sticking out the window to shout profanities at you to get the fuck out of the way. 

Stepping back shakily, you automatically went back to scanning the lot again for the same 4 wheeler, because locating that car was ALL that mattered right now. 

Finding HIM was all that mattered.

You had to be more cautious now in your search. More purposeful. 

Far back, hundreds of meters from where you were standing you could make out a car that you somehow knew was his. Something, just something, told you it was, and your heart started racing even faster. The lights had turned on like the driver was about to leave, and then it shut off again as if the driver changed their mind about leaving. Without thinking about it, only listening to the pull in your heart that said your man was over there, you used your years of cheerleading experience to catapult you toward the parked vehicle.

When you got closer, your heart squeezed on its own accord as if someone was making pizza dough with it. Slowing down, you took in the sight that was your ex boyfriend sitting in the driver’s seat of his car, white hair visible only because his head was down, forehead kissing the steering wheel, his shoulders vibrating slightly because he is crying. It’s him.

Position:

Not stopping to think anymore, acting on pure love and instinct, you sped over to the driver’s side and tugged the door open. Thank God it was unlocked.

This giant mountain man didn’t move from his position crying on the steering wheel. Only muttering a broken, “Kenji-san, please leave me—“

“Not Justin Bieber look-alike!” You croaked loudly, heart pounding when this gorgeous man’s head lifted as soon as you uttered your first syllable. He looked you up and down and your breath caught in your throat. You’ve NEVER seen such a beautiful man cry before, and although it tugged at what was left of your heart—you thought he looked breathtaking. 

“Y/N…..? D-did Kenji-san send you out-t-t he-here? I apolo-pologize—“

You shook your head, unable to stop yourself from pouring your heart out. 

“Hey. Remember the other day after you helped me film my cheerleading tryout, you said that you were happy we were fr-friends?” You asked sharply, ignoring his apology for now, and forever grateful for the fact that you had major cojones when you wanted to. They came in handy at times like this. 

With red puffy eyes, Aone wiped his face and then nodded, making you melt. 

“Well,” You took a shaky breath, sliding your own tears to the side before you left your heart out on the table for this man. 

“Well, I’m not your friend, Aone.” 

Aone visibly swallowed, his eyes welling up with tears again. He hated himself so much for crying like this. 

“I-I know, not y-yet, bu-but I was hoping one day you’d-d—“ Mountain man didn’t even know what he wanted to say, he was dead.

“No. I’m not your friend.” You repeated yourself, watching a shiver run through Takanobu due to the chill in your voice and the intensity your eyes held.

You could sense that he wasnt getting where you were going with this play on words, so you cut to the chase. Hopefully he would get it after hearing what he had to say next, just like you did when he said these same words to you once in a bowling alley. 

“The reason I can’t be your friend is because I like you so much more than a friend, Aone. You have no idea how much more.” 

Aone shivered again, his beautiful lips separating because his jaw dropped slightly. He recognized his words on your lips now, you could tell. He was understanding how you felt now, so you continued anxiously:

“Everything about you drives me absolutely insane, Takanobu. Your spirit, your love, the way you are the only man I will ever love……even the way you can’t notice that your ex is still madly in love with you, and that she only came here tonight to cry over you alone but ran into someone, and even though she was dumb enough to break up with you.”

Aone’s jaw had just dropped wider as you spoke, his mind reeling. 

You stepped in closer to where he was sitting in his car, closing the distance because you just couldn’t stand being any further from him anymore. You also wanted to whisper this next part. You wanted him to know that his confession to you was etched in your brain so much so that you could recite it in a moments notice, even if that said moment was full of pure emotional madness like right now. 

“I’m not your friend, Aone.” You repeated once again. “I don’t want to be. I want to be everything else for you. Everything more. Takanobu, I have a confession to make.” You used both of your cold hands to cup his cheeks, his beautiful, red, stubble filled, wet cheeks.

“I love you. I love you, my Mountain Man. I love you more than I did yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. I loved you on the Ferris wheel, and I loved you when you filmed my tryouts. I love you Right now, and I will forever. I will explain everything, I promise. But there has never been, nor will there ever be anyone else for me other than you, Aone-san.” 

You giggled through your tears because Takanobu looked so confused but happy. It was an odd expression, but very cute. You continued, 

“I know we get called Losties a lot which used to bother me, but you know what: maybe we are, but that’s besides the point—because all I know is that I used to hate being called that…. Until I met you.” You leaned in so that your foreheads were touching. “When I met you, Aone-san....... I stopped caring about being lost….... none of it mattered to me.......insofar as we were lost together. Together with you is the only way I want to go through life, Aone, so I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for letting my insecurities drive me and I’m sorry for possibly confessing to you when you have someone else. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m—“

Mountain Man imitated your gesture of cupping your cheeks in his large hands, wiping away your tears like you did to him. 

And then, without saying another word like he was good at—

He slid you into his lap sitting in the front seat, back in the same position he pulled you in the last time you two were at this theatre—

and then he kissed you. 

It was a kiss so passionate that you gasped into it, needing him, needing him like a hiker needed their mountain. A kiss so passionate it l lasted for the remaining duration of the movie (no word of a lie) because you refused to let each other go—but most importantly: it was a kiss that made you realize that you and Mountain Man weren’t just two losties lost together like you mentioned a bit ago—no. Absolutely not. Actually, this kiss was so passionate it made you realize that you were really two losties that were lost in every aspect in life—minus one:

Because you two could never be lost when it came to your feelings for one another. Finding true love happened to be the only aspect of life that most people on this planet remained lost in, which happened to be the exact aspect of life where you and Aone have both been….

Found. 

🐢

🐢

🐢

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A/N: That’s it! I am secretly here to let y’all know that there will be one more collection post next time I write, and that post will be the end of this losty series. I will cry when that time comes lmao but for now tysm for reading this marathon - I would loooove to hear your thoughts! I literally die when you guys comment or send me private messages reacting. It makes my whole day istg. Anyways, Wishing you all the best as always. See you next time. Xoxo

Taglist: @galagcica @chaichai-the-weeb @nairobiisqueen @bisasterrr @juminly @simply-not-the-same @marvelousbakugou @qyuanon

[trashexplorer]

BLCD Review: Wonder Border

Title: Wonder Border (ワンダー・ボーダー)

Release Date: 2018/03/28

Author/Artist: Ueda Aki

Cast: Ono Yuuki x Satou Takuya x Shingaki Tarusuke

Synopsis: Five years after breaking up, Kazuaki bumps into his ex, Hiroharu?. Things should have already ended between them but one second they’re going for drinks and they’re going for the bed the next. They both have other lovers but, why is it that they can’t keep away from each other?

Review Proper 

Ugh. I’ve finished my log for the meanwhile and I’m just so-

I hadn’t realized that I just got myself the older Kusa no Kanmuri Hoshi no Kanmuri so I went straight to Wonder Border right after. I won’t be reviewing the mentioned CD ‘cause I think there’s an older one - I didn’t understand shit. 😂 I knew something was wrong because we had Morikawa Toshiyuki off the bat and I knew for a fact that he was not part of the main cast for the CD I was looking for. My mistake.

Anyways, on to Wonder Border.  

I mean, I read that and the original Japanese synopsis over and over myself and I knew perfectly well that it was about cheating but, idk. I think I expected that Hiroharu’s boyfriend was going to turn out to be an asshole when reality was, the only asshole here was Hiroharu himself.

Yo, honestly, I just want to forget that I ever listened to this. This is the CD that I was most excited about and when I was disappointed by Renai Fuyuki Todoki yesterday, I was already considering making this my go-to CD (since it’s the last of my log and I have to listen to something while waiting for the new ones to arrive). Don’t get me wrong, the CD was well executed and the VAs were the bomb but my moral compass is just way too good to like the plot. 

I personally didn’t care for our main couple ‘cause they’re both jerks but all my love goes to Natsurou-san for being such a sweetheart. IT DOESN’T HELP THAT NATSUROU’S VOICED BY SHINGAKI TARUSUKE NO ONE HURTS MY YASHIRO HE’S ALREADY BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH. *motherhood intensifies* No apology can ever make up for what they did to him. Natsurou-san loved Hiroharu so much even though he’s clearly too good for him. He never deserved the hurt and his tears were too precious to have been spent on someone like Hiroharu. I really wish that he finds his own happiness and I want that person to spoil him lots and treat him like the king that he deserves. 😭😭😭 I literally just want to jump into their CDverse, hug him with all my might, and sign up for his protection squad if he don’t want me ‘cause I’m ready to love you, Natsurou-san. 

Natsurou-san Protection Club is open for new members.

I really hoped that Hiroharu could’ve just broken it off with both Kazuaki and Natsurou-san. I believe that it’s the right thing to do after what he did to Natsurou-san. He should give himself some time before deciding if it’s really worth it to come running back to Kazuaki (who really showed little to no respect and remorse over his past and present sins). 

My heart hurts.

I don’t want to talk about this anymore so I’ll just sum up the technicalities in a paragraph. Chemistry was ✓, mattress mambo was ✓ (Hiroharu has sex with both Kazuaki and Natsurou-san, just a heads up), and the execution was ✓ . I didn’t read the raws for this so I can’t say if it’s true to the manga (I hope it’s not and Natsurou has his happy ending). I’d recommend this to anyone who’s out for a gripping story line (it really was) but this ain’t for you if you’re one who’s easily thrown into guilt and has a pity bone like me.  

I think I’ll just make Cupid ni Rakurai as my go-to BLCD for now. 

[jeuzwrld]

Paano mo masasabi na yung partner mo eh naffall out of love na? And if so, ilelet go mo ba ng kusa o ilalaban mo at hihintayin mong siya na mismo yung umalis?

Masasabi mong nafafall out of love na sayo yung mahal mo kapag yung pagbabago niya ay hindi maganda para sa relasyon niyo. Para kasi sakin di lang ito sa actions makikita eh kahit sa mga kaisipan niya.

Sa actions paano ba masasabi na nawawala na yung pagmamahal niya sayo?

1. Matipid na siya mag text o tumawag sayo. Yung dating halos 24hrs kayong magkausap at text ngayon halos hindi na. Pag sa call lagi pa nagmamadali o tinatamad magsalita. Sa text naman pilit na yung parang ikaw lang gagawa ng way mapahaba lang ang usapan. Eh dati sobrang makwento niya tapos puro siya topic na di lang about sa inyo, sayo at sa kanya kundi pati sa pamilya niya, mga kaibigan at ganap sa buhay niya.

2. Okay lang sa kanya magkita man kayo o hindi. Dati halos araw-araw gala, date, tambay pero ngayon busy na siya lagi tapos walang oras palagi kapag aayain mo siyang lumabas. Dati siya pa nahanap ng way or events magkasama lang kayo. Yung dati qiqil na qiqil siya makasama ka lang pero ngayon wala na. Mas masaya pa siya kasama ang barkada, pamilya at kung sino-sino kaysa sayo. Hindi sa dapat kayo lang pero alam mo yun? Wala kana lang sa kanya, nakakaselos kasi dati palaging gusto niya KASAMA KA NIYA AT YUNG MAHAL NIYA SA BUHAY. NGAYON SILA NA LANG AT HINDI KANA KASAMA. SAYA.

3. Yung kilig niya sayo wala na lang. Mag joke ka madalas pilit tawa niya. Gumawa ka ng surprise mali ka pa kasi gastos daw, kasi di niya deserve, kasi di naman na kailangan, kasi di niya deserve, kasi at marami pang kasi. Pero in reality hindi na siya masaya at natutuwa sayo. Siguro dahil sa nasanay na kayo dun sa mga ganon dati ay balewala na lang ngayon. Hindi niya alam na kaya ka nag susurprise at nag eeffort kasi wala kang ibang alam gawin mapasaya lang siya. Siya ganon rin dati pero hindi na ngayon. Yung tipo na hindi mo na hinihiling na surprise ka niya or pakiligin makita mo na lang na masaya siya ay ayos na pero wala eh sa huli ikaw pa rin ang mali. Sayang ang effort.

4. Noon kapag pda kayo ayos lang lalo na kapag walang nakakakita jusko sobrang saya, sobrang lapit, sobrang sweet. Yakap, halik, akbay, pisnge to pisnge, yung mga alam niyo na basta yun na yun. Dati halos kulang na lang ikasal na kayo kasi halos lahat nagawa niyo na. Masaya kayo sa isa’t isa. Yung init ng pagmamahal nandun sabayan pa ng kulitan at harutan nako napakasaya. Hindi lang naman sa pda yun eh basta yung actions na mararamdaman mong may kasama ka sa buhay. May asawa ganon. Dati mainit yung pagmamahalan niyo sa isa’t isa. Kapag yung labi niyo ay magkadikit ramdam mong iba, sabayan pa ng mahigpit na yapos na para bang wala ng bukas, may kung anong tibol sa dibdib ang hindi maipaliwanag. At pagkatapos nun ay magtitinginan sa mata at doon makikita ang naguumapaw na pagmamahalan. Ayun yung dati ngayon? Wala na. Pag naglalambing ka o humihiling na gawin ulit yung mga dati niyong ginagawa nakikita niya na lang ito as mali, as kasalanan, as panget tignan, as a sin to our Lord, as marami pang as (asshole shit reason). For short AYAW NA NIYA SAYO AT SA GINAGAWA NIYO NOON. (KAHIT HAWAK KAMAY AT KISS SA NOON MALI PA RIN AT DI MAGANDA TIGNAN PARA SA KANYA KASI NGA ISA LANG MEANING NUN AYAW NA NIYA SAYO AT NAWAWALA NA PAGMAMAHAL NIYA)

5. NAPAKARAMI PANG ACTIONS ILAN LANG YAN PERO ANG PINAKAMASAKIT AT TOTOONG MAKIKITA MO SA ACTION NIYA NA NAWAWALA NA YUNG PAGMAMAHAL NIYA AY KAPAG boring na siya kausap at kasama. Mas inuuna pa niya mga ibang bagay kaysa sayo. Kasi nga jan papasok yung minsan na lang kayo magkasama pwede rin lagi magkasama pero wala na yung presence niya kapag magkasama kayo. Wala na. Tapos yung dating focus ng mata niya at tenga sayo kung saan saan na lang ngayon. Kapag kinakausap ka niya wala na titig niya sayo. Madalas pati galit na siya sayo tapos mainit ang ulo palagi. Lahat ng gawin mo mali o magkwento ka ganon mali. Basta ganon.

Yung sa part ng kaisipan naman. As whole ko ieexplain. Sa kaisipan masasabi natin na nawawala na yung love ng isang tao sayo o sa karelasyon niya kapag yung paniniwala niyo na dati ay nirerespeto ng bawat isa at sinusupportahan ay ngayon jusko palaging magkasalungat. Yung dati sangayon siya sa pinaglalaban mo sa buhay ngayon hindi na siya pa unang kokontra sayo. Tapos noon kakampi mo siya sa lahat ng bagay ngayon siya pa kaaway mo hahaha ganon parang bata na siya na pinipilit kang baguhin pero diba nga sabi niya mahal ka niya noon? Pero bakit ngayon babaguhin ka niya? Love pa ba yun? Diba hindi? Kasi kung tanggap ka niya support ka niya pagsasabihan ka niya kapag mali ka pero di yung idodown ka as a person. Kung gusto mo baguhin ang mahal mo in good way wag palaging parang superior ka. Ganon. Pero yun nga pag hindi kana niya mahal o dahan-dahan ng nawawala. Wala na para siyang boss at ikaw ang tauhan. Ganon yung mentality. Sobra kana niya maliitin tapos yung mga words niya towards you lalo na pag nagaaway kayo nakakababa na ng pagkatao. Minumura kana rin niya dati hindi. Ganon. Pati ang masakit pa jan ay kung dati ang paniniwala niya at pinaparamdam/kita niya ay kasama ka siya mga pangarap at buhay niya ngayon ay hindi na.

All in all marami pang way para malaman kung na #nafafalloutoflovenasimahal mo sayo pero para sakin eto talaga ang ebidensya para malaman kung ito ay totoo sayo.

PAG WALA KA NG LUGAR SA BUHAY NIYA.

Pag mahal mo kasi ang isang tao alam mo kung saan ang posisyon niya sa buhay mo.

Anong gagawin mo kapag nawawala na pagmamahal ng mahal mo sayo?

Para sakin kapag may katwiran at pagmamahal IPAGLABAN MO.

LUMABAN KA HANGGANG SA HULI KASI YUNG THE FACT NA MINAHAL MO SIYA PINILI MO YAN EH. AKO KASI YUNG HINDI SUMUSUKO SA PAGMAMAHAL, PAG MINAHAL KO SOBRA TAPOS HANGGANG SA HULI. AKO YUNG SI BINABALEWALA, INIIWANAN AT KINAKALIMUTAN. PERO KAHIT GANON HINAHAYAAN KO NA LANG KASI NGA MAHAL KO AT NAGMAHAL LANG AKO. PERO ONCE NA MABALIW NAKO SA SAKIT AT SUMUKO NA ANG PUSO KO SA PAGOD. DAHAN-DAHAN NA RIN AKONG LALAYO DI DAHIL SA HINDI KO MAHAL, KUNDI DAHIL SA KAILANGAN NA AT KAILANGAN KO PANG MABUHAY. (share lang yung sa last part hahaha)

Good afternoon! Panda hug!!! ;)))

[musesfromnippon]

   { So I’m still awake and thinking... “You know, until I get those about pages set up, why not write short bits that sum up the muse?” So that’s what I’m doing.     Expect some of these to be a bit ridiculous, cause I haven’t slept yet. }

Amenominakanushi: The Dad of all Dads. He’s gonna drop some wisdom on you and also be really vague sometimes. I bet he knows too much about everything.

Inari-okami: Gender doesn’t exist, especially for them. Feel free to refer by she/her, he/him, or they/them. Foxes are friends and also the thieves of your missing socks. Might adopt you like Ammy does, but less “parent” type and more “party uncle/aunt with a glass of sake in one hand.”

Nuregami: Pure bean who is here to make sure things are going okay...with the water, of course! She’s a little awkward around people. Family, save her.

Kabegami: Will climb everything tall that you own, including you, if you’re tall. Hope you like cats; she’s got a lot of kitty friends. Will steal any seafood you have...or just give it to her. Make a new friend.

Sakuya: Guardian of the trees and wishing she could do a bit more with her life. Still, she knows all the secrets of Kamiki. All. Of. Them. Become her gossip buddy, it’ll be worth your time. But be careful of what you want to know about....

Kushi: Came home to raise her sons and brew sake...and her adopted son left to figure out his past while her other child is probably learning things he shouldn’t from his father. Brew so good it can get the gods wasted, so beware....

Camellia & Camille: The traveling sisters who visit Guardian Saplings around Nippon! Camellia being the elder sister and Camille being the younger and who is also super up to date on that kami stuff. Big sis is waaaay behind, yo.

Princess Fuse: Princess of the canines and the boss of Kusa Village. Totally. Also OkamiDen isn’t canon, so there’s no acting going on here. Only a woman trying to keep her warrior-dogs in line and encourage them to keep protecting their home!!!

Kaguya: Just your average space princess from the moon, no big deal. Also one of few remaining Lunarians after some massive bullshit that somebody pulled and our bets are either on Orochi or Yami...... So yeah, now she’s the ruler of the shambles of her home and kinda needs to get on fixing that. Sometime soon, hopefully.

Queen Himiko: She may be dead in Okami canon, but now is the time to say, “fUCK SHE MAY BE DEAD....but that’s what we have past RPs and AU threads for.” Anyways, she’s a badass who rules the throne while her husband plays with demon fangs, so know who’s the powerful one around Sei’an City... Cause it’s her.

Kamo & Abe: Some Tao Troopers who serve under Waka. Just remember that Abe is the ditz and Kamo is the cool, collected dude you can trust with anything. Abe would probably sell all of your secrets for a dinner at Sei’an’s finest. Abe is a DORK.

Queen Oto: Remember kids, “Otohime” is “Princess Oto”, so technically she’s “Queen Oto” now, a’right?? ANYWHO. You know Himiko and how badass she is/was? Well, here comes Queen Oto, ready to LAY DOWN THE LAW OF BADASSERY. Cause she changed into a huge fucking dragon while preggo to help the sun kami and her bouncing friend fight off a God Complex Ninetails. She’s also a widowed, single mother and that kid is gonna be just as incredible as she is. Damn.

Tobi: Speaking of the Ninetails, that big bro had a cool dude working for him...and that guy, was a demonic slip of paper. Who liked to race! And helped you to the top with those races!! LONG LIVE TOBI!!! So yeah, he’s stickin’ around here and ready to hand out some flowers.

Samickle: Yo, you won’t believe this, but.... This guy is the Oina chief now. Crazy, right?! Yeah... He’s also sorta engaged. Just some fanficy shit, dON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, GOSH.

Tuskle: They made her as a one-off priestess in-game.... And then I came along and went, “Mine now.” So now we’re gonna get a badass shaman in this group, helping people heal, giving advice, and lowkey being a mom to everyone. Someone’s gotta!

Ayame: The OkamiDen one-off to play really hardcore on your emotions, while also tying into a story nobody knows about... Again though, I’m taking her. She’s mine now. Imma make her cute as hell and ya’ll gonna have to love her now!!! (Don’t worry, you will naturally. Ayame is too cute and pure. Gotta love them pure peeps~)

Kuni: He was the son of Susano and Kushi...until he revealed he actually wasn’t, he’s just adopted. We can either talk about this crazy kiddo and his attempts to figure out who he really is...or just get our butts into the future, where he’s a damn good swordsman and a handsome boi.

Nanami: The Dragonians continue to be badass and elegant...and Nanami’s here to hammer that point home. Hope you like water and water hair, cause that’s what you’re getting here, bucko. She’s real cute, though. Prepare to be charmed.

Kagu: OkamiDen may have flopped in story, but DAMN if all their girls ain’t #goals! Our little actress-miko Kagu, back at it again with her incredible powers, eventual (possible) heir to the Sei’an throne, and also getting a little sweeter with the acceptance of who she is. Confidence out the wazoo and it looks GOOD for her!!

Kurow: ...Blease protect my boy..... He did not deserve what canon gave him...... So now he’s gonna be coddled here and protected... Probably for a week or two. Then we toss him to the angst hounds. Also should mention all of the kid partners (including this rad dude) have “adult AUs” so... That’s a thing.

Sugawara: Hey, if Capcom could maybe like....stop hurting my babes from the Moon Tribe, that’d be rad, okay? That’s gonna be my job, dudes. SO. Denying canon a bit? Maybe. Mostly just wanna set this guy free... Maybe get him a date. He’s too attractive to be single I mEAN WHAT--

Dark Chibiterasu: Remember that bit? At the end? Well, screw that, too, cause I’m gonna make my own dark Chibi. He’s sorta his own entity now, though. How you interact with him, shapes how he’s gonna be, so.... Play with him wisely! Else you’re gonna be at fault if he grows up to be a very bad pupper.

(Oh hey, it’s the OC section. We made it this far!!)

Koamashi of Nippon: So in a summary, Koamashi are like...land guardians? They collect the history of their homeland and stuff and this could go on forever. This one is a happy being and also ready to kick your ass. But she probably won’t, cause being friendly is the way to go! (Also that whole “cursed land” thing didn’t go well for her, so she’s still trying to recover from that.

Koamashi of Kamui: A cold guy (ahahahaa, get it??), but could be tight-knit...if he had friends. He just sorta...watches over the Oina and Poncles. That’s his main dealio. He’s a sad man, give him a hug...once you know him better, anyways. Doesn’t like touches from strangers, m’dude.

Koamashi of the Takamagahara: You’ll likely never meet this guy unless, like... You die or something. Or are a deity of some kind? He’s a cool dude, though. Very friendly, patient, and kind. Probably gives warm hugs. Will kick your ass if need be, though. Died once; not fun. Also, the Koamashi are technically genderless, but they do lean towards a preference of appearance, so.... And they really don’t mind, either way.

Handmaiden Reiko: Dad the sake brewer, mom the painter, and big brother the warrior...and their parents are dead, of course. Reiko somehow managed to get a job as a handmaiden to a tanuki princess, but... Geez, is it straining or WHAT?! Makes using a bow look so, so easy.... Patient af, though; she’s still working to keep getting money to ensure a good life back at home. Also has an Oina bf named Hayato.

Demon Cat Sukei: Fight first, questions later. Won’t let you pet him and will bite if you try. Maybe claw, too, if he can manage it. Can speak English/Japanese and will hand over demonic wares and give advice on demons/imps to talk to who might be of help, if got need of them. Alright, if an asshole.

Genetic Pup Aoi: Remember the “Science is Bad” trope? Well, it’s sorta true here; get the hair and blood of a kami with some science shit and BAM!! Here’s four godly puppies, have fun explaining that shit to the higher ups. Aoi is the blu boi and he’s got them water powers. Eldest of the four sibs and thus, the leader.

Genetic Pup Hinote: Second in command to Aoi, but sorta like Starscream in that he keeps trying for first place. Dark pupper and the only one to have black fur; he controls fire and- yes- is a bit of a hothead. He’s a good big bro to Kusa, though.

Genetic Pup Kusa: The green boy, associated with wind, and the fastest of ‘em all because of it. Could probably speed over water, honestly. He just likes to run and play with Hinote, cause they’re the other duo to Aoi and Sakura.

Genetic Pup Sakura: Cliche name for the pink pup with the earth powers... Also the sole girl, but she knows that just makes her better then! ...Right? Is the runt of the group, but also sorta the powerhouse, considering how important nature is, and all. Is the “underling” to the duo between her and Aoi, though she secretly prefers Hinote to give her attention.

Lunarian Aristocrat Kiyoshi: One of the Moon Tribe runaways during the fall. Kinda sorta doesn’t care what happened back home, cause Sei’an City is a lot cooler, anyhow... Mostly cause 300+ years of being there and it’s still a neat place to him. Is a little shit in the way only a very flashy man can be. It’s all a part of that Lunarian charm, eh~?

Tanuki Princess Yua: Got big tiddies cause mythology states that tanuki have ridiculously huge and useful ballsacks. The more you know!! Yua, however, is the second child who is a girl, and thus won’t get the throne. So via la rebellion and exploring the world of Nippon and Kamui time!! She’s the princess Reiko has to watch over, bless the woman’s heart... Yua likes playing tricks, flirting a bit, but has some wild ADHD that just....won’t settle. Can at least relax a little in Wep’keer/Kamui, so Reiko can see her man and not have to fuss over the princess during that bit of their trip.

Oina Woman Miame: CALLBACK TIME. So remember Samickle? Being engaged? Here’s his fiancée. YUP. Casual woman who he kinda had to help when she got herself trapped and hurt... Sorta stuck around with nowhere else to go, wormed her way into the pack....and then some cheesy bit like “warming up Sami’s heart” or something. Definitely does know how to keep him from stressing out too much, though, so... Go her!!

Demon Priest Takahiro: He got a name for this appearance. At long last, he hAS A NAME!!! He’s mostly here to pay for his crimes years ago, when he forced Amaterasu to swallow up this stone of darkness kinda thing? It makes her go into a baddie mode, basically. Yeah, he did it. That’s his fault. Also, that hasn’t been fixed, so..... Someone needs to get on that and drag Takahiro with them!!

Young Fox Akemi: “Young” by kitsune standards, thank you. She’s still in her early 200s! Anywho... Fox from a small kitsune village. Has been going around to learn stuff about the world as she gains her tails. Made a friend in another wandering kitsune with similar goals, so they joined up; he’s been traveling longer, though. Associated with the autumn season.

Teenage Fox Yoshirou: Akemi’s friend and a black fox of 3-tails, so... About 300 years already under his belt. Wanted to be alone and in peace, but Akemi was younger than him, so... He relented. Acts like her big brother now, basically. Since they’ve wandered from their homes and families, expect him to be the one to look over suitors in place of her actual family.

Lunarian Scholar Kazuki: If you’ve been around me for about a year, you know this guy already. If not, he’s basically the ex-love interest to Shiori over at Goddessof-Poems. He kinda died during the whole wipeout of the Moon Tribe? Yeah... He used to do a lot of important writing for the Moon Tribe and gave Shiori her signature, golden collar. (Still wears it to this day.) He’s a dead guy now, but Izanami likes setting him free sometimes to amuse herself. So whether in the past or present, Kazuki is around somehow...somewhere.....