#LAV by Hannji

[itsseohannbin]

• Like A Volcano | Part Six | • SMUT MDNI

Han Jisung Mini Series

© itshannjisung, 2024

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Chapter Genre: Crack💥 Angst⚡️Fluff 💕Suggestive Themes 💋

-Bestfriends to Lovers Trope-

Summary: being best friends with the kings of kpop always has its ups and downs, and when you're offered a spot on the next European-American book tour to promote the publishing of your new book, there's one kpop king in particular who just doesn't want you to go.

Pairing: Idol!Han Jisung x Female Reader x Bestfriend Skz

** Includes two of my own original female characters, both whom are romantically involved with two of the members. Chan x Jo / Minho x Ash **

Warnings: Swearing. brief vulnerability over the trauma yn went through. good guy Jisung (srsly why can't all men be this incredible?). tooth-rotting fluff throughout but mostly towards the end. the boys do not use honorifics. reader is called jagiya & princess SMUT; making out. dry-humping/grinding. breast/nipple play. dirty-ish talk. soft!dom Han. brief dom/sub reader. praise kink. slight doting. fingering. anal play (f rec). edging. unprotected sex (dont do this). p in v sex. reader is on the pill, though it is not mentioned. failed pull out method/cumming inside. multiple positions. hair pulling (m rec). crying during sex. biting. overstimulation (m and f rec). flaccid-fucking. multiple orgasms.

I think that's everything. lmk if I missed something!

Word Count: 11k (lol whoops)

Screenshot Count: 8

**this chapter is edited and revised**

Enjoy!

The second you stepped foot back inside of your apartment with Jisung by your side, a wave of anxiety stabbed you abruptly in the gut. Not because of what was yet to come once the two of you eventually reached the bedroom, but because that same helpless feeling you felt earlier in the night had returned, hitting you at full force despite having Jisung glued to your side.

Your eyes darted around the living room nervously as you dropped your keys onto the table by the door and discarded your shoes. You expected something to jump out from the shadows at any given moment, though logically, you knew nobody else was in here. 

Still, your body tensed as you strode further inwards, your jaw clenched in anticipation as the hairs on the back of your neck stood up, waiting for something to happen.

A big part of you still felt Seojun lingering in every corner of the one-bedroom apartment you rented out, and when a gust of wind blew in through the cracked window and sent your curtains flying about, you nearly screamed in surprise. Fortunately, all that left your mouth was a small gasp, causing Jisungs arms to wrap around you in an instant.

“It’s alright, Jagiya.” he cooed softly in your ear as his arms tightened around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder. “He’s not here. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

Your eyebrows shot upwards in surprise at his words, causing you to turn in his hold and look at him in confusion.

“How did you-?” you paused and squinted at him, the pieces forming together quickly inside of your mind. “Minho, that bastard.” you finished with an annoyed grunt.

Obviously it was Minho.

Jisungs hand came up to hold the back of your head as he pulled you into a hug. 

“Please don’t be mad at Min, okay? When he, Chan, Jo and Ash left in a hurry this morning I knew something was going on. I practically forced it out of him the second they got back home.” he explained. "I didn't want to believe it until I saw for myself, so I'm sorry for what I said back at the club. You didn't deserve the way I spoke to you. I was just hurt and confused."

You swallowed roughly at the news, wondering how much Minho had told him.

“How much do you know?” You asked, barely registering the coldness that seemed to seep into your words. You bit the inside of your cheek as you waited for Jisungs response.

“He didn’t tell me the details.” he reassured you, his arms still holding you in a tight embrace. “Just that that asshole was hurting you. He didn’t even tell me you were home.”

You nodded slowly, lost in thought. 

Despite wanting to be mad at Minho, you knew you couldn’t be. Your friends always had your best interests in mind, even if it didn’t seem like it at times, so Minho telling Jisung meant he was confident Jisung wouldn’t say anything to anyone, especially not to the others.

Though, you knew with how nosy and protective they all were, they’d all find out the truth eventually. It wasn’t like you were planning on hiding it from them, you just wanted to avoid the topic as long as you could. But right here, right now, you couldn’t think of any reason not to tell Jisung the details of what you went through.

You trusted him with your life, and this, whatever this was, was forever. He’d never leave your side again and you knew you’d never leave his.

“Do you want to know?” you asked softly, almost whispering as your head dipped and your eyes found your feet. You wouldn’t push it upon him, but you knew letting him know you trusted him with everything in you was important. He needed the reassurance, needed to see how serious you were about him, about this, about whatever came next for the two of you after tonight.

Jisung was silent for a moment as his fingers found the cast on your arm, causing your eyes to lift up anxiously and meet him once more. He looked pained and unsure as he stared at the plaster, as if the answer to your question was more than just a simple yes or no, because in all honesty, it was. 

This was about more than just finding out what makes each other tick, it was about being vulnerable and opening up about the trauma you worked so hard to push away. It was about giving someone the opportunity to destroy you and trusting them not to. It was about handing them a ‘get out of jail’ free card and then praying they wouldn’t use it, that they wouldn’t leave, that they’d stay.

It was scary. 

No, it was fucking terrifying, but for Jisung, you would do anything.

After a couple of short, thoughtful breaths, Jisung gave you a sad smile. 

“Not unless you want me to know. And even then, I won’t pressure you into telling me.” he answered, softly kissing the tip of your nose. “Just know that I’m not going anywhere, okay? No matter what you went through and who you become because of it, I’ll be right here. I’ll stick by your side while you work through this and do whatever it is you need of me to help. We’re in this together.”

It was like a flame had suddenly ignited inside the depths of your heart at his words. Like someone had poured gasoline into your veins in an attempt to bring you down, and Jisungs words, his encouragement, was the match that lit you on fire and allowed you to fight back.

The sentiment was short and sweet, one that anybody else would have laughed at and waved off as him being too cheesy, but to you, it meant everything. You could feel the sincerity and truth behind each vowel, each consonant, and it made your heart burst with a form of emotion you’ve never felt before.

It was more than the happiness and joy you felt when you were surrounded by your friends, more than the excitement and anticipation you endured when you walked out on stage and found thousands of fans staring back at you. It was more than any pain and sadness you felt during your time away.

This was it. This was true love. And you found it in your best friend, just like you always hoped you would.

A smile broke out onto your face and an unexpected sob escaped your throat as you stared into Jisungs big, beautiful eyes. The ones that held so much adoration, so much joy, so much respect. You saw galaxies upon galaxies inside them, the chocolatey brown nearly hypnotising you as they sparkled in the dim light.

In that moment, you wanted him, needed him, in every way possible, but the words got caught in your throat and all that you managed to squeak out was a small “Thank you Ji.”

Jisung smiled back at you, a laugh seeping from his lips.

“Anything for you, Princess.” he whispered. Your heart skipped a beat.

“Anything, you say?” you then raised your eyebrow suggestively, causing his gummy smile to fade into one of his signature smirks.

The way his eyes darkened as if on cue had a fire stirring in your lower belly.

“Absolutely anything.” he chimed back without hesitation.

And those words of affirmation were all you needed to pick up where the two of you left off at the club. You grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him to you, swiftly connecting your lips to his. Immediately, he scooped you up and wrapped your legs around his waist as his tongue pushed against your lips, demanding entry.

Before you knew it, you were straddling Jisung on the couch, your tongues both slowly and lazily tasting each other, exploring the expanses of what the other had to offer. While your fingers threaded through his hair, his hands explored you at an achingly slow pace. It was like he couldn’t get enough of you, his movements neverending as he memorised every inch of skin he could find.

All traces of wanting to rip his clothes off had exited your mind the second he sat the two of you down. There was no rush. You guys had the rest of your lives to jump into the sheets with one another. This night, however, would be one you both would remember for eternity, and the both of you cherished every breathing second you had as if it would be your last.

Every breath was slow, every touch delicate and teasing, every smile and giggle against the others lips dissolved into another long, searing-hot kiss. The two of you could stay like this for hours and still neither of you would be completely satisfied.

You weren’t sure how long the two of you sat like this for, just holding each other while your tongues battled for dominance, but when Jisung eventually pulled away, the two of you were breathless and exhausted.

You didn’t say a word as his big eyes found yours, his hands finally teasing the hem of the shirt you had on, a look of question in his eyes. He was silently asking permission to go further, to touch more of you, and you hoped the half nod and smile you sent back his way would suffice as an answer as you were still struggling to catch your breath.

Jisung didn’t give you much time to do so before he captured your lips once more and put his hands to work.

When his large, calloused hands dipped beneath the fabric, a jolt of electricity shot across your skin and a gasp fell from your lips into Jisungs open mouth. He smiled against you before reaching his hands higher, his fingers softly tracing up your spine until he came into contact with the clasp of your bra.

With one flick of his wrist, your clasp was undone, and he wasted no time bringing one of his hands around to slip under the cup and grab ahold of your breast.

With his other hand, he pulled your shirt over your head while he gently kneaded you in his palm, your bra following shortly after. He pulled away from your lips and leaned back to briefly stare at your now naked chest in wonder. 

“Jesus Christ Jagi,” he whispered delightfully, his thumb coming up to run across your already hardened nipple. Your body jolted at the sensation, causing an evil grin to lift the corners of his mouth while a puddle formed in your panties. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

A blush crept to your cheeks, but instead of feeling insecure and shying away from him, you felt your ego boost to a whole new level.

Jisung brought his face to your chest and delicately kissed the cluster of scabs that sat at the crevice where your torso and arm met. You expected the old cigarette burns to hurt when his lips came into contact with them, but you felt nothing but neutral sensitivity. The action was so intimate and soft you almost lost your senses, but then Jisung was back to the task at hand an instant later, the soft, sweet moment gone. 

“Does that feel good, Princess?” Jisung asked as he rubbed his thumb across your nipple once more, watching the way your head fell back while a moan escaped your lips. You nodded in response, your hips seeming to have a mind of their own as they swung back before dragging forwards against the bulge in his pants that didn’t seem to fully go away ever since you kissed him in the club.

Both of you moaned noisily into the emptiness of the apartment as you repeated your actions several more times, the two of you feeling the wave of pleasure you both so desperately craved but were too nervous to insinuate up until now. 

“That’s it Jagi, lemme’ hear those pretty sounds.” Jisung mumbled as his other hand came up to cup your other breast, his thumbs now both circling around your nipples simultaneously.

Your jaw fell open and your eyes squeezed closed as pleasure shot through your body at his actions, another moan eliciting itself from deep within. With his thumbs gently playing with your nipples and his dick growing harder and harder against your core, you swore you were on cloud nine. A laugh escaped Jisungs throat as he watched you seductively grind against him.

“That’s my girl.” he praised softly, smiling up at you. Your eyes popped open at his words, the praise sending chills straight down to your pussy, and he flashed you another evil grin before bringing his face back into your chest. 

He wasted no time in clamping his mouth down around one of your nipples, his tongue expertly running over it as his now free arm folded around you, holding you against him and causing a halt in your hips movements. A high-pitched cry left your mouth when he pinched the opposite nipple between his thumb and pointer finger, his tongue still working wonders against you.

It had been so long since you had any of this, felt any of this, that you weren’t sure what to do, how to react. No one had ever touched you like this before. Seojun barely spared you any type of physical affection when the two of you got intimate, and if he did, it was brief, never lasting long enough for you to even get worked up over.

Jisung was bringing you into unfamiliar territory, and quickly at that. Despite his strong hold against your lower back, despite wanting to melt into the way his tongue slowly worked your sensitive bud, blowing at it and nibbling when he needed to breathe, you couldn’t help but wiggle. You needed to feel this on top of the added movement of your hips grinding against his. You needed to feel that warm, fuzzy feeling build up in your tummy that you haven’t felt in years.

“Ji.” you cried as your hands flew up to tug at his hair, trying to pull him from your chest. Jisung mumbled a soft ‘hmmm’ in response, his attention solely focused on your breasts. 

“I need more.” you whined. The way your lower lip jutted out was more than a little pathetic, you knew that, but with the way Jisung was pleasuring you right now, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Jisung pulled away from you then and craned his head back to stare at you. 

“What’s wrong, Princess?” he doted, his fingers pausing in their attack on your swollen nipple and coming up to tug at your pout. “You want more?”

You cried against his touch.

“I need more.” you emphasised, your hips still struggling to move against his firm hold. "I need you." 

Jisung paused to brush a strand of hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear and giving you a firm kiss on the lips before he released his hold on you.

"God, I want you so bad Princess." he whispered as his darkened eyes sparkled into yours. You swung your hips back and grinded hard against him, continuing your previous assault on the boner in his pants.

"Then fucking take me already Ji." you begged.

Jisung let out a small sigh and brushed some more hair from your face.

"I can't." he pouted. “Even though there’s nothing I would rather do more.”

You quirked your eyebrow and smirked at him as your hips continued their slow movement against his.  "Oh, and why is that Ji?" you teased around a small gasp, bringing your face to his jawline where you began planting soft kisses. 

Jisung sighed once more, his body growing tense under you, and you immediately stopped all of your movements. You pulled back to look at him, your eyes widening in concern as you took in the anxious expression that had suddenly fallen upon his face and the way he was nervously chewing on his lower lip,

“Ji, Baby, what’s wrong?”

Jisung swallowed roughly before his gaze fell to your shoulder. He pulled his lower lip into his mouth completely, his breath shaky as he gave you a slow response, the anticipation killing you.

“I just,” he paused before his eyes found yours again, his once darkened pupils now dilated with worry. “I don't want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you. We both have alcohol in us and I don’t want our first time to be made on a drunken decision that you’re gonna’ regret in the morning.”

His honesty melted your heart but his insecurities threatened to disintegrate it completely. You hadn’t even thought of the fact that the two of you were running on alcohol and adrenaline alone. You were completely consumed by him that you didn’t even stop to think about what he wanted, what he needed.

It was your turn to reach up and tug at his pout.

“Han Jisung, the man you are.” you whispered in complete awe. Jisung’s lower lip jutted out further and he blinked up at you through his long lashes.

“I’m sorry, Bubs.” he whispered. Instantly, your hands flew up to cup his face, forcing him to tilt his head back and look at you completely.

“Hey. None of that.” you lightly scolded. “Never apologise for speaking your mind and telling me how you feel, okay?” Your eyes shone into his so intensely Jisung thought he might cry. The last thing he wanted was to disappoint you and his anxiety was quickly making him feel as if he was.

He swallowed hard again, his eyes darting between yours. The two of you stared at each other intimately for a moment before he nodded, his body relaxing slightly beneath you.

"I will never regret you." you then added, making sure he understood every syllable and that he felt the truth behind your claim. “Never.”

A small breath of relief left Jisungs mouth and he nodded again, the reassurance charging him like a battery. That’s all he needed to hear.

“Thank you Jagi.” he whispered, his face leaning into the hands that were pressed against his cheeks. The warmth that radiated from your body mixed with the smell of you was soothing and comforting to him, so much so he suddenly felt tired and exhausted and like he could fall asleep right then and there.

You noticed his eyes closing, his body melding into yours, and you leaned forward to plant a kiss on his exposed forehead. Jisung smiled and opened his eyes slightly to beam up at you.

“I’d do anything for you, you know that, right?” you asked softly, your thumbs running delicately against his cheek bones. Jisung's eyes sparkled at your words, his lips tilting upwards into another one of his signature smirks.

“Anything?” he mimicked your words from earlier, causing a giggle to escape your lips. God, he could listen to that sound all day.

You gave his cheeks a small squeeze.

“Absolutely anything.” you quipped back before placing another kiss on his forehead, followed by one to his nose. Jisungs smirk broke out into a smile before he carefully hoisted you off of his lap and held his hand out to you while he stood from the couch.

“Come shower with me?” he asked, his eyes glimmering with joy. You stared up at him, your mind still trying to process how he managed to get you off of him and on to his feet so quickly.

“What?” you asked out of habit. It wasn’t that you hadn’t heard him, you heard him loud and clear, but your brain was foggy as the adrenaline from your lewd actions began to simmer.

Jisung took your hand in his and pulled you to your feet when you took too long to do so yourself. He wasted no time planting a kiss to your cheek before pulling you towards the bathroom door, that damn evil grin appearing on his face once more.

“The sooner we shower and clean up, the sooner we can go to sleep, and the sooner we go to sleep, the sooner we can wake up and do what we’re both dying to do right now.”

He didn’t even wait for your answer as he opened the door to the bathroom and pulled you promptly inside.

*****

Waking up the next morning beside Jisung was a strange and unfamiliar sensation. Not because you had someone in the bed next to you, that much you were used to by now, but because of the sheer level of intimacy that was shared between the two of you as your limbs tangled together in peace. 

You never woke up in another person's arms before, their face pressed into the back of your neck where their breath tickled you softly. It was strange to wake up engulfed in another person's scent, their arms wrapped tightly around your torso as if they were scared you’d disappear if they let go, even in their sleep.

It had been a long time since you woke up feeling this calm and at peace.

It had been a long time since you felt this safe.

You blinked your eyes open and glanced over at the alarm clock on your bedside table. It was only six in the morning. You let out a small groan. 

You were careful not to jostle Jisung too much as you reached blindly for your phone. You were happy to see you hadn’t received any more messages or calls from Seojun, but the twelve missed calls from Jo and the endless group chat messages left you feeling just as crappy.

You had totally forgotten to text the group last night to let them know you and Jisung were together and safe. You stifled a sound of guilt as you lazily swiped across the screen to read the messages everyone had sent.

You let out a small sigh, laughing silently to yourself at your friends and their antics. You debated texting them back, but Jisung shifting his body behind you had you dropping your phone to the table once more and turning softly in his embrace.

He lay on his back, his one arm still tightly wrapped around you while the other was now thrown across his forehead, trying to block the sunlight that poured into the room. A cool breeze blew through the open window, causing him to squeeze you against his warm body.

You rested your head onto his shoulder and glanced up at him, admiring him as he slept. 

He was absolutely exquisite.

His skin was glowing against the early morning sun, making the small scar along his forehead and the mole on his cheek stand out prominently. There were bags under his eyes, only slightly lighter than they were the night before, and his long eyelashes cast shadows across his cheeks beautifully.

The scar beside his eye was practically begging for you to run your finger along it, so you did, reaching up gently and making sure your touch was feather-light. With a mind of its own, your finger then moved to trace the bridge of his nose down to the tip before slowly running along the plushness of his lips. 

Your face began to heat up as you thought about his lips and what else they were capable of other than kissing you senseless, and you were so wrapped in the thought that you nearly jumped when Jisungs fingers dug into your side lovingly a moment later, signalling he was awake.

You grinned up at him and poked his mole, causing a smile to breakout across his face, his eyes still closed.

“Good Morning Princess,” he whispered, his voice raspy from sleep. “Did you sleep well?”

With your finger still prodding at the tiny beauty mark, you sighed.

“Better than I have in years.” you told him honestly. Jisung just smiled and brought his other arm around you again, pulling you up so you were laying on top of him, your legs now tangling with his.

You rested your hands along his naked chest, your chin propped on top of them as you melted into his touch and watched as his eyes opened slowly. He looked down at you as one of his hands reached up to brush his knuckles softly against your cheek.

“You’re so gorgeous, Jagiya.” he murmured. “I love you so much.”

You didn’t need to say it back. Jisung knew just from the twinkle in your eyes how deeply you felt for him. It made his heart pound in happiness.

The two of you were silent for a moment, staring at each other in wonder as you both got lost in thought. You felt breathless knowing he was yours now, completely and undeniably so.

You were so scared he wasn’t going to want you back after everything that happened. You were so sure you were going to tell him how you felt and he would just turn around and leave you in the dust, much like you left him. 

The fact that the two of you were here now, clinging to each other while you both tried to rid your bodies from sleep, was an absolute dream come true. It couldn’t have turned out better.

You impulsively reached one hand up to trace your fingers against his lips once more, your mind once again swirling with thoughts of him pleasuring you with it.

“I was so worried I wasn’t going to get you back.” you whispered, trying to mask the blush on your cheeks.

Jisung grabbed your fingers and kissed them gently before resting his cheek against them. 

“I was so worried you weren’t going to come back.” he answered just as quietly, his eyes staring into yours. You gave him a cheeky grin as you scooted up his torso, bringing your face level with his.

“Yejun told me about all of your late night endeavours. You’ve been pretty busy since I’ve been gone, huh?” you teased before planting a kiss to his cheek and nestling your face into his neck. You breathed him in as his arms wrapped tightly around you, holding you in place. 

A sigh left his mouth at your words and he let out an embarrassed chuckle.

“Yeah, I’m not proud of who I became when you left. Losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to me and it was obvious by my actions that I didn’t give a single fuck about those girls or their feelings.” he mumbled. You could tell by the tone in his voice he was severely disappointed in himself, so you lifted your head from his neck and poked his mole again as you stared into his eyes.

“Hey, those girls were lucky to have been underneath you.” you joked. Jisung gave you a soft smile and pushed some hair out of your eyes again as he answered, causing your heart to leap in your chest.

“And yet, none of them stood a single chance against you.”

You dimpled up at him, feeling speechless at his cheesy words before planting a tender kiss to his lips, though Jisung suddenly had other ideas in mind.

As you pulled your face away from him, his hand came up to hold the back of your head, halting you so he could chase you with his lips and pull you back down.

Despite the forty-five minute shower the two of you had the night before, where you did nothing but make out relentlessly in between washing each other's bodies, you still felt your stomach flutter when he pushed his lips against yours.

Despite the hour or so afterwards that you guys spent just holding each other in bed and kissing, never reaching past second base, you still felt your heart thump excitedly in your chest when Jisungs tongue slipped past your swollen lips and battled against yours.

Kissing him now felt as natural to you as breathing, but it still left you feeling breathless and weak to the butterflies that filled your tummy like it was the first kiss all over again. Well, second technically.

But, unlike the many kisses that were shared the night before, this one was quick to become needy and desperate. Gone was the long and slow exploration of each other's mouths and in came frenzied desire as you two clung to each other, both acknowledging it was now morning and you were free to do what you so desperately longed for all night.

With his tongue still battling yours, Jisung removed his hands from your head and let them roam down your body until they were cupping your ass. He squeezed handfuls of your cheeks into his palms, his nails digging desperately into your skin, causing you to hiss in delight as he pulled you against him. You could feel his bulge growing hard against the inside of his boxer briefs, and you felt excitement shake your bones when he lightly lifted his hips to push himself against your core.

You moaned noisily into Jisungs mouth as his hands then slipped further down your ass, his fingers reaching to prod lightly at your panty-covered core from behind. He wasted no time sliding your panties aside and running a finger teasingly along your folds, a groan leaving his mouth as he felt how wet you already were for him.

“Princess,” he mumbled against your lips, his hips pressing up into yours again. “You’re already so wet for me and I haven’t even done anything yet.” he teased as he slowly inserted the tip of his finger into you, only slipping far enough in to reach his first knuckle.

The feeling of just the tip of his finger toying with you had a whine slipping from your mouth as your hips began to grind against his.

“Sungie,” you groaned. “Need you so bad.”

Jisung grinned up at you in awe as he hugged you tight to his chest, his eyes sparkling in excitement when he slowly inserted his finger further into you. The most delectable sound left your mouth, encouraging him to then pump his finger in and out at a snails pace.

The feeling of his clothed dick pushing up into you mixed with his finger softly sliding in and out of your pussy had your legs shaking and your breath caught in your throat. He felt so damn good you could cry.

Jisung mocked the pout that fell onto your face with one of his own as he stared into your eyes, gauging your reaction to his actions.

“What’s wrong Bubby? Feels good, huh? You like it when I touch you like that?”

All you could do was nod in response and let your face fall into the crook of his neck, your breathing heavy.

It had been so long since you’ve been this worked up by something that wasn’t yourself and your own fingers. It was almost painful to feel your orgasm building so quickly.

Unexpectedly, Jisung slipped another finger into you at the same time that he dipped the tip of his thumb over the opening to your anus. A loud, almost pornographic gasp escaped from your throat at the unfamiliarity and foreign sensation.

No one had ever touched you there before, and while you never saw yourself as someone who would enjoy anything to do with that part of your body, you couldn’t deny the absolute euphoria that rattled your bones as Jisung repeated his actions once more.

“Is that okay, Princess?” he whispered, watching you intently for any signs of discomfort. You nodded quickly against his neck before lifting your face to come level with his again.

“Mm'do it again.” you begged before you pressed your mouth to his, the kiss immediately becoming sloppy, teeth clashing against each other as your resolve began to slip.

“Anything for my girl.” Jisung murmured back before he dipped his thumb into your opening again, his fingers moving in time with it.

The heat in your belly grew at double the speed as Jisung worked his digits inside of you. You felt manic as his hold around you loosened, allowing you room to move your hips against his all over again.

Within minutes, the three different sensations all working against you in tandem had you practically screaming, begging for relief. It was all too much.

Just as your head began to grow foggy and the heat in your stomach was on the verge of exploding, Jisung pulled his fingers out of you and flipped you onto your back, stopping you before you could reach your release.

A cry left your mouth involuntarily at the sudden loss of contact.

“What the fuck Ji?” you gasp, your breathing coming out in spurts.

Jisung smirked down at you from where he was hovering over your body on his forearms, his legs tangled with yours as he pressed his erection into your thigh. His silver-blonde hair fell into his eyes as that wicked smile spread across his puffy cheeks.

“Sorry Jagi, but I don’t want you cumming yet unless it's around my cock.”

A growl left your mouth unexpectedly.

“Motherfucker.” you ground out around clenched teeth as you pushed him off of you. Jisungs eyes widened in surprise but he obeyed you without a hassle, allowing you to push him back against the headboard and straddle his thin waist.

“Let’s see if you’re as bratty and submissive as everyone thinks you are.” you half-threatened, your hands working quickly to slip off his boxers. His thick, hard cock bounced back lightly against his stomach, causing you to pause and stare at him in wonder as you threw his boxers somewhere behind you.

Jisung bit the inside of his cheek at your hesitation, watching you nervously as you stared down at him. 

“Is it okay, Jagi?” he whispered out. Your eyes flickered up to his and you saw mountains of insecurity in them. Without a pause, you nodded your head and licked your lips, your eyes travelling back downwards.

“It’s fucking perfect Ji. Can’t wait to feel it inside of me.”

A small sigh left his mouth, his shoulders relaxing at your reassurance. 

“How’s your pull out game?” you then asked as you continued to stare at him, saliva pooling in your mouth at the mere thought of having him pumping inside of you. Jisung was quick to answer, his insecurities gone as quick as they came.

“As strong as it needs to be, why?”

“I just wann’ feel you raw.” you answered around a huff as you slid your panties off. The shirt Jisung was wearing the night before hung loosely around your body, barely covering your naked skin. Jisung swore he could cum right then and there from just the sight of you.

“Yeah?” his muscles tensed at the thought of having you wrapped around him with nothing separating your bodies. He moaned lightly just imagining it.

You licked your lips and nodded swiftly in response as you straddled his hips, his dick throbbing deliciously in between the two of you. 

"Yes. Please. Just let me feel you." You cried. You reached up and grabbed a handful of his hair again and pulled his head back roughly, your eyes shining into his.

Shamelessly, Jisung moaned into the feeling, staring up at you as if his biggest dreams were coming true, because they were.

He always dreamed of being with a dominant girl in the bedroom, but all of the females he’s ever been with insisted on him using his dominance over them. Sure, there was nothing he loved more than bending someone over and fucking them into submission, and he couldn't wait to do that to you, but he longed for the chance to let someone direct him. He yearned to let someone be in control for once and use him to their heart's content.

 And alas, here you were, doing exactly that without even being asked.

As if you needed to be any more perfect for him.

As if he needed to be more in love with you than he already was.

“There’s no one like you Jagiya.” he whispered in awe before he wrapped his arms around you and pressed his lips against yours. You positioned yourself over his dick and pulled his hair roughly once more, earning another whimper from his mouth before you lowered yourself down onto him.

The stretch was slow, excruciatingly delicious. He filled you so perfectly you nearly came from the skin on skin contact alone. Jisung must’ve felt it too because he squeezed his nails into your hip bones and helped pull you down completely until your pelvis was flush with his, a hiss slipping from his lips as euphoria hit him.

For several long seconds, the two of you froze, both crying out in pleasure at the highs that were already building from the naked sensation of each other's bodies against one another.

It made you feel delirious, the way he fit inside you so flawlessly, the tip of his cock pressing against your cervix delicately. Your hips twitched with anticipation, causing his dick to press further into you and you couldn’t do anything except let your head fall to his shoulder as a whine left your lips.

“Ji, Baby,” you cried. “You feel so good.”

Jisungs breathing was already laboured as he focused on not cumming inside you. Your walls clenched around him so effortlessly it was almost as if your bodies were made for each other.

“I know, Jagi. I know. Your pussy feels so good around me, it’s making me fucking crazy.” he whined.

"Are you good to go?" You asked, barely holding yourself back from grinding your hips down onto his. Jisung took another deep breath and nodded, desperate to feel you. 

You smiled against the skin of his shoulder as you then began to rock your hips, riding him slowly, allowing both of your bodies time to adjust to the feeling. Everytime you'd rock your hips forward, you'd yank Jisungs hair, causing him to whimper and buck his hips up into you, which in turn only encouraged you to move again, desperate for that friction. 

It was a vicious cycle that had you both whining with pleasure as you made love to him. Because that's what this was. You weren't fucking him, you were pouring every ounce of love you had for the man underneath you into each roll of your hips, and you knew, you felt, the loving pouring back into you from him as he thrust his hips upwards to meet you halfway. 

It didn't take you for long to reach your high again. The knot in your stomach tightened quickly with each movement and you were whimpering into Jisungs ear desperately despite being the one in charge. 

Jisung pressed his lips to your ear when he felt your pussy clench around him beautifully. He smiled against your earlobe as he tightened his hold around you.

"That's it Princess. Cum all over my cock." He whispered. That sentence alone, hearing the dirty words slip past his lips, is what sent you over the edge and you did exactly that. You came, hard, drenching him in your juices as a loud gasp fell from your lips and you dug your nails into his shoulders. 

Your legs shook violently as Jisung continued pressing his hips up into you, extending your orgasm into one of the best highs you've ever had. It had been so long since you've had one that tears immediately formed in your eyes and pooled down your cheeks. 

You shoved your face into Jisungs neck and sniffled, trying to stop the tears from flowing. Tears of relief for reaching the high you were barely able to accomplish on your own, and tears of happiness because Jisung was the one beneath you, making you feel this way. 

You always dreamed of this, of him being beneath you, on top of you, inside of you. You spent the last year and a half with another man, fantasising about this one specifically, and having those fantasies finally become a reality was absolutely mind altering. You've never been happier than in this moment.

Jisung stopped his hips movements when he felt your tears wet his skin, and he pulled away slightly to look up at you in concern. 

"Are you okay Princess? What's wrong?" His big, brown eyes were full of worry as he watched you cry. His dick was still hard inside of you, and yet all he could focus on was your emotions. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." You apologised as you wiped at the wetness on your cheeks. Jisungs hand came up to help wipe the tears that were spilling over uncontrollably. 

"What are you apologising for, Bubs?"

You hiccuped and shoved your face back into his neck, feeling heat flush your cheeks in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry. I'll be able to keep going in a minute. I just-” you hiccuped again. “I just haven't had one of those in a long time." You explained. 

"What, an orgasm?" Jisung was briefly shocked at your revelation, but it quickly turned to downright annoyance when realisation hit, but it wasn’t directed at you.

"Wait, that asshole never…?" He trailed off when he felt you shake your head against his neck. The two of you were quiet for a couple seconds as Jisung pulled you impossibly closer to him, his dick still twitching restlessly.

“How long has it been since you had one that wasn’t your own doing?” he asked quietly, his heart breaking for you. You took a shaky breath and mumbled your answer into his shoulder, feeling your cheeks flush even more.

“Years.”

Jisungs eyes nearly bulged out of his head, and he was glad you stayed nestled into him. The last thing he wanted was his surprise to be mistaken as pity and have you get even more upset than you already seemed to be.

“Oh, Princess.” he doted as he tightened his hold on you and flipped you onto your back unexpectedly with ease, his dick still burrowed deep inside you. The second your head hit the pillow, your eyes widened with worry and you began to shake your head in protest.

“What are you doing? No, no, no. I’m on top. I’m always on top.” you felt panic begin to grow inside your chest, but it faded away just as quickly as you saw the reassurance in Jisungs eyes. He pulled a hand out from beneath you and wiped at your tears, brushing his fingertips lightly against your cheekbones before kissing them promptly.

“Just take a deep breath Bubs” he whispered. “How about you let me make you feel good, hm? It’s the least I could do for the love of my life.” he cooed. You stared up at him in confusion for a moment, trying to process what it was he said.

He wanted to take over and fuck you?

The idea of being on the receiving end felt so foreign and strange to you. You’ve been the dominant one for so long, you barely remembered what it felt like to let someone else be in control. You stared up at him with your big beautiful eyes, a look of uncertainty in them, and Jisung’s heart nearly broke all over again. 

It was at that moment he vowed to himself that he would always do everything in his power to give you as many orgasms as you wanted, whenever you wanted. Anything to get that look of insecurity off your face.

He brushed his fingers against your cheek again when you still didn’t give him a consensual answer to keep going.

“Let me take care of you, Bubby. Let me show you what it feels like to be with a real man. One who loves every square inch of you, inside and out. Just lay back and let Sungie do all the work, yeah?” 

The amount of promise and emotion in his eyes had you choking on your next breath. A feeling of excitement brewed low in your stomach, one you hadn’t felt in forever, and you nodded eagerly. You didn’t realise how badly you were craving this until now.

With a satisfied smile, Jisung pulled out of you completely and kissed your forehead before repositioning himself. He took your one leg and laid it flat against the bed, moving to straddle it as he hoisted the other up onto his shoulder. Your body twisted slightly with the movement, leaving you half on your side and leaving your pussy tight and ready for him.

With his hand cradling your leg, he turned his head and kissed your calf softly before positioning himself at your entrance.

“Are you ready Princess?” he asked. You nodded breathlessly, eager to have him fill you up once more. Jisung sent you one of his sweet, gummy smiles before he turned his head and bit roughly into the muscle of your calf, his dick pushing into you at the same time. The pain and pleasure of both actions mixed together so perfectly you let out a string of curse words in response.

The position he had you in was new, one you never tried before, and while your butt ached from the way your body was twisted, you couldn’t deny how good it felt. His dick was pushing against your cervix so flawlessly you nearly passed out from the pleasure alone.

“Oh my fucking god,” you cried as Jisungs hips began to rock into you. The friction of his pelvis rubbing against yours from how deep he pushed was blinding, his mouth only adding to the intensity as he licked and bit at your leg.

You let out a loud squeal as he pulled himself half-way out and slammed back into you again. 

“I told myself I was going to take my sweet ass time with you, but the way your pussy is clenching around me right now is making me fucking feral Princess.” he breathed as he picked up his pace, his hips rocking more forcefully into you.

You let your head fall into the pillow as another round of obscene sounds left your throat. Jisung’s head had fallen back in pleasure as he cursed under his breath. You were so perfect for him. He wanted to take care of you and absolutely destroy you at the same time.

“My god, you’re so perfect for me Jagi.” he groaned as his face fell downwards so he could stare at you. You were looking back at him already, your face contorted into a look of pure bliss as he fucked you senseless. He felt his high approaching but he forced it back, wanting to make you finish at least once more before he did.

Luckily for him, you were close, and when his hands came down to wrap around your thigh, his nails digging into your skin as he pulled you even closer, allowing him to go deeper, you shattered.

“Fuck Ji, baby. I’m cumming. I’m cumming. I’m cumming.” you cried loudly as you exploded around him, your walls squeezing him deliciously. Jisungs hips halted as he pressed into you as far as he could go, wiggling slightly to help overstimulate you. He paused there, watching your face melt into a puddle of pure satisfaction. 

“You’re so good for me Princess.” he reached down to cup your chin, forcing you to look at him as you shook in sensitivity. “Keep your eyes on me, okay? I’m not done yet.”

Before you could process his words, Jisung manoeuvred himself once again until he was snug between both of your legs, looming over you in missionary. His dick automatically slid back into your slick cunt and he wasted no time chasing the high he had been holding back.

He thrust into you hard, his dick sliding delightfully against your walls, his eyes never leaving yours and yours never leaving his. You had barely come down from your previous orgasm, the oversensitivity building another one up so quickly it was overwhelming. But you didn’t dare ask him to stop. Not when he was making you feel so heavenly.

“Fuck Jisung. Fuck, fuck fuck. Your dick feels so good inside of me.” you whimpered as he continued to relentlessly slip in and out of you, the overstimulation perfect. “I’m gonna’ cum again.”

Jisung let out a hearty laugh as his face fell into your neck, his lips and teeth gliding against your skin as he squeezed your hips and tried to hold you still.

“You gonna’ give me another one?” he teased, to which all you could do was nod in response. His question quickly sent you over the edge again unexpectedly, your body floating in bliss as the white hot pleasure threatened to blind you.

 “Holy shit, Bubby. Your pussy feels amazing sucking me in like this. You’re so fucking tight. Shit.” Jisung’s movements faltered as his orgasm approached quickly. “Shit, Princess, I’m gonna’ cum. Let me out.”

Instead of allowing him enough room to exit and cum all over your tummy, you wrapped your legs around his slutty waist and squeezed him closer to you. Jisungs eyes widened in panic, his hips stuttering again.

“What’re you doing?” he squeaked as he tried to hold back his orgasm long enough to escape. The pout on your face would have driven him over the edge if your next words hadn’t.

“I want you to cum inside of me Ji.” you whimpered, staring into his eyes.

“Wha-?” Jisung stuttered over his words. He was feeling so frenzied he barely managed to slow his hips down long enough to make sure he heard you right. “Are you - fuck - are you sure?"

You nodded quickly, feeling tears form in your eyes again because of how desperately you wanted to feel him. “I wann’ feel you fill me up. Please Jisung. Make me yours.”

The affirmation was all he needed. Jisung nodded and pressed a kiss to your lips as he bucked his hips, picking up his pace once more. The small break in his movements, the unintentional edging, left him absolutely pussy drunk. He began slamming into you with so much force your body was moving up the bed with every thrust.

“Oh Jagi,” he moaned. “I’m gonna fill you up so good. Gonna give it to you so nice. Fuck. Tell me how much you love me Bubby. Tell me you’re all mine.” he begged desperately.

The oversensitivity from your orgasm had you feeling unhinged, barely able to keep your eyes open, let alone form another sentence to respond.

“‘Mmmm love you s’much Ji. More than anything else in’he world. I’m all yours.”

“Fuck Jagiya. I’m fucking cumming.”

A second later, he exploded. His load shot into you at neck-breaking speed, painting your walls and filling you to the brim. He had waited so long to fuck you, there was so much of it. It spilled out of you so easily, and yet, Jisung couldn’t get enough of those pretty sounds leaving your mouth.

He squeezed his eyes shut as he forced his hips to continue a slow thrust forwards, extending his orgasm impossibly more, the overstimulation driving him crazy. 

You let out a whimper as you felt his dick slowly softening inside of you. Regardless, it still felt amazing pushing inside of your pussy, and you knew if he kept thrusting into you like that, you’d cum again from the feeling of it alone.

“You got one more in you, yeah?” Jisung asked lovingly as he pushed the hair off of your sweaty forehead. Your eyes barely opened, a soft cry leaving your mouth as you nodded, desperate for that high you suddenly felt absolutely addicted to.

“Of course you do, that’s why you’re so good for me.” he praised as he continued to fuck you while his dick softened. It was rubbing so delicious into your swollen clit, a mixture of your juices and his spilling from you and onto the bed sheets.

“Gotta’ make sure my Princess is satisfied.” Jisung lips found yours and he brought you in for a long, slow, burning-hot kiss. One that was no longer rushed, no longer delirious and desperate. One that, much like the night before, held mountains of love and adoration and happiness. One that showed you just how much you meant to him, how much he needed you, how hard he fell for you.

It was passionate, feeling his tongue glide over yours as his dick lazily pushed in and out of you, your orgasm building as quickly as the others had. His hands slowly trailed up underneath your shirt and he softly caressed your breasts, his fingers moving to play with your nipples as his swollen lips left yours and latched onto your neck. He licked the sensitive spot right below your jawline before biting it gently and before you knew it, another orgasm hit, an exhausted cry leaving your mouth.

“That’s my fucking girl.” Jisung praised, his hips stuttering to a halt as you came around his cock one last time. 

He watched you with pure adoration, loving the way your face twisted up in pleasure as you came around his semi-hard dick. You looked absolutely gorgeous, hair sprawled out across the pillow, body slick with sweat, your eyes barely open as your jaw fell slack. 

You were so beautiful he felt himself growing hard again already. He would've loved to keep going, fucking you like this for hours until you were both spent and exhausted, but the pained look that spread across your face when he experimentally bucked his hips forwards once more told him you were done for.

Jisung carefully pulled out of you as you tried to catch your breath. He smiled down at you before he rolled onto his back and pulled your naked body on top of him. You barely had enough energy to look at him, so you settled for resting your head across his chest. 

Jisung wrapped one of his strong hands around your waist while the other played with your hair softly, his fingers brushing through the knotted and sweaty strands.

The two of you laid like that for a while, both silently catching your breaths. You listened to his heartbeat pumping softly in your ear and it was so comforting you were sure you would've fallen asleep if Jisung hadn't spoken up into the silence that engulfed the room.

"So I've been thinking."

"Uh oh. That's dangerous." You teased. You twisted your head to smirk up at him as he grinned down at you and pinched your sides in retaliation. An adorable squeal escaped your mouth then as his fingers proceeded to gently tickle you, and Jisung swore your laugh was the most beautiful sound ever to exist on earth. He'd listen to it for eternity if he could. 

"You're a jerk." He mused, planting a soft kiss to your forehead. You beamed up at him and pinched his cheeks.

"You love me." 

Jisung didn't bother denying it. He simply just beamed back at you before leaning forwards to plant another kiss to your face, this one on your nose. 

"More than you'll ever understand." 

He paused to take a deep breath, brushing your messy hair away from your face before he continued on with what he wanted to say. 

"Anyways, as I was saying. How would you feel about moving into the house with the rest of us?" 

Still staring up at him, you arched an eyebrow and gave him another sly smile despite the way your heart rate rose quickly at his question.

"Han Jisung," you tsked. "That's a big step. We aren't even dating yet." 

You expected a pout to appear on Jisungs face at your joke, but you were surprised to find him smirking back at you instead, his tongue prodding the inside of his cheek in amusement. 

"Really? 'Cause I thought it was pretty obvious that we were after I had you practically screaming my name just a minute ago." Your jaw dropped in surprise at his upfront teasing. Jisungs smirk deepened as he caught your reaction before he mimicked you in a high-pitched voice, moaning with each word as it left his mouth dramatically. 

"Oh Jisung! Oi Papi! You're so good! I love you so much! More than anything else in the world! I'm all yours! Take me, take me!”

You smacked his arm and tried to hide your giggle around a hard glare, but failed miserably. “Alright, alright. It wasn’t that dramatic.” 

Jisung let out a laugh of his own at his theatrics and snuggled you closer to him.

“Seriously though, Bubs. Move into the house with us. You practically live there already. We can turn the guest bedroom into an office for you and you can stay with me in mine. We’ve been dying to have you move in for years now.” he explained as he rubbed a hand slowly up and down your back. 

Electricity shot through the ends of his fingertips as he trailed his fingers along the curve of your spine. You melted into his touch as you stared up at him, your fingers coming up to prod at his adorable mole again. 

Moving in with Jisung and the rest of the family seemed like nothing but a green flag. You did already spend all of your time at the house rather than your own apartment, and you knew each and every member of your friend group would be absolutely over the moon if you moved in. But, you were an introvert at heart, and although you loved your friends dearly, you knew you’d miss your cherished alone time and private space.

“I don’t know Ji.” you whispered as you stared at his beauty mark, unable to meet his gentle gaze. Jisung’s grin softened as he searched your eyes for any sign of you being uncomfortable with his request. He was relieved to find none but he did notice a hint of uncertainty in them, which he knew came from your introverted nature.

“I know you always said you enjoyed having your own space, but I’d feel a hell of a lot better if you moved in with us. I wouldn’t have to worry so much about Seojun showing up out of nowhere and catching you when you’re home alone.” he whispered.

You didn’t want to see the look of disappointment you knew would come to his face when you turned down his idea, so you settled with biting your lip as if you were still undecided.

“I don’t know. I need space for all of my stuff, and you and I both know that the guest bedroom is desperately needed for the amount of parties you idiots throw during your off time. I’ve seen more naked bodies in that bed than I care to admit.”

Jisung let out a small huff and curled his mouth to the side as he fell into another thought, taking your response seriously. You waited patiently as you watched the gears in his brain work in double time while he tried to come up with a better solution.

“Well, what if we move out and get a place together? I can keep you safe.”

Your heart jumped at the proposal, warmth spreading throughout your limbs as soon as the words left Jisungs mouth. You were taken back by how quickly he managed to come up with the idea, almost like he had been debating it for a while. 

The second the words reached your ears, there wasn’t anything you wanted more, but you still found yourself shaking your head and giving him a pointed look.

“You wouldn’t hurt a fly, Ji.” you stated, as if that was reason enough not to. Jisungs eyebrows furrowed and he gave you an artificial look of disgust.

“Excuse you, but if Seojun ever dared to show up around here again, you can bet your sweet ass I’d put him in the hospital.”

You let out a thankful smile before you sighed.

“You don’t have to feel obligated to move in with me to keep me safe.” you spoke, your voice soft and quiet. Jisung scoffed at your words and shook his head as if what you said was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard.

“Princess, I’m not doing it as an obligation.” he paused to catch your chin in between his fingers as you began to turn your head away, forcing you to look him in the eye. “I’m not doing it for you, I’m doing it for me, okay? For us. Because now that I have you, the thought of not waking up next to you or coming home to you from here on out makes my stomach turn with anxiety. I don’t want to go another day or night without you by my side.”

You swore to yourself you weren’t going to cry again for the rest of the day, rest of the week even, but after seeing the honesty and sincerity and absolute devotion in his dark eyes, you felt the tears begin to form. The two of you were silent for a moment as he let his words, his emotions, sink in. 

This was it for him. You were it for him. There was nowhere else he’d rather be.

 You pouted up at him in astonishment.

“You’d… You’d move out of the family house and find a place with me?”

Jisung smiled down at you and wiped at the tears that were threatening to spill out of your widened eyes.

“Baby, I’d marry you tomorrow if I could.”

You swallowed roughly, choking back a sob at his words. It was definitely too soon to be talking about marriage, but the underlying commitment and unspoken promise in his voice rocked you to the core, rendering you speechless.

“I’m also going to sit down and talk with Chan and the managers to see what I have to do in order to bring you along with us whenever we travel for tours and performances and such.” 

You blinked up at him, the surprise from his previous statement only making you more emotional. You weren’t expecting that.

“What?” was all you managed out. Jisung brushed his fingers through your hair and let out a hearty laugh.

“What? I was serious when I said I didn’t want to go another night without sleeping next to you.”

Your eyebrow shot up in question.

“Is that really a good idea?”

Jisung shrugged his shoulders and pulled your naked bodies impossibly closer together, revelling in the feeling of your soft skin on his. He could never get enough of this, enough of you.

“Ash and Jo come along with us. So why can’t you?”

It was your turn to scoff and let out a laugh. 

“Ash has to, she's the head of make-up. And Chan threw an absolute fit when it came to Jo and that barely worked. How do you know they’ll let you?”

“I’ll throw a bigger fit.” Jisung answered, as if it was obvious. A smile broke out onto your face and you shook your head at him as he continued speaking. “I’m an idol, Baby. They have to let me. Plus, if the sex continues being this incredible, I won’t survive without it. And I can guarantee you none of them would want to put up with my cranky, stressed out ass if I’m forced to go months without you. I swear to God, there’s nothing more stress-relieving than being balls deep inside of your perfect little pussy.”

His voice had gone deep and husky, and you could feel his dick growing hard against your leg once again. Butterflies set off inside your stomach at his words, his tone. His one hand tightened its hold around your waist while the other guided your face towards his, his nose tracing yours.

“You’re so dramatic.” you whispered, your lips hardly brushing his. 

Jisungs hand held your head in place as he pressed a soft kiss to your lips. You immediately melted into his touch, his scent, his taste as he opened his mouth and ran his tongue along yours lazily.

“Not dramatic. Just hopelessly in love.” he whispered as he pulled away and beamed up at you, his eyes sparkling with that familiar look of lust and love and happiness. You pulled further away from him and prodded his mole again with your finger, deciding it was your favourite thing to do.

“And what happens when this honeymoon phase ends Ji?” you questioned with a quirk of your brow. Jisung turned his head and caught your finger between his teeth, biting it playfully as his hand began tracing the curvature of your ass.

“Oh trust me. It never will. You’re my destiny, Jagiya.”

You practically swooned.

“Damn,” you breathed, fanning yourself dramatically, ignoring the flush that engulfed your cheeks and spread to your ears. “You love me that much?”

Jisung squeezed your ass into the palm of his hand, unintentionally pulling you against his hardening dick.. You could see the heat and desperation growing in his darkening eyes, causing a ball of fire to brew in the pit of your stomach.

“More than you’ll ever understand y/n. My love for you is like an eternal flame. It burns brighter than the sun and hotter than any desert on earth. It is truly and utterly endless.”

At his confession, you moved to abruptly straddle his waist, his words igniting a fire in your core. His dick pushed deliciously against your opening. Jisung let out a whimper as you lightly rubbed your pussy against the head of his cock, teasing him as you sent him a knowing smirk.

“You mean like a volcano?” you inquired. The smile that broke out onto Jisungs face would forever be imprinted into your eyelids as he connected the dots to what you were saying. He shook his head at you in awe, wrapping his arms around your waist and hugged you tightly to his chest as he pulled you down onto him. He filled you to the brim in one motion, ripping a loud cry from your throat.

“You’re damn right Princess. Like a Goddamn volcano.”

AHH I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE AT THE END OMG!!

as mentioned in a previous post, I will not be writing/posting a Jisung POV anytime soon, but I do want to eventually do a bonus chapter, whether that be a pov or a time jump, idk yet. i will make an announcement about it closer to the time i do, so watch out for that.

Thank you all so much for reading and joining me on my journey of reposting this fic. As my first one, it is still so dear to my heart and I'm thankful I had that chance to go back and edit what I wanted to. I'm so much happier with this version than the original on my old blog. I hope you all love it as much as I do!

Taglist || @sungshineworld @collisvng @ihrtlix @queen-in-the-shadows @cassidymb121

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[itsseohannbin]

• Like A Volcano | Part One | •

Han Jisung Mini Series

© itshannjisung, 2024

♡ itsseohannbins masterlist ♡

Series Masterlist

Chapter Genre: Fluff 💕Angst⚡️ Crack💥

-Bestfriends to Lovers Trope-

Summary: being best friends with the kings of kpop always has its ups and downs, and when you're offered a spot on the next European-American book tour to promote the publishing of your new book, there's one kpop king in particular who just doesn't want you to go.

Pairing: Idol!Han Jisung x Female Reader x Bestfriend Skz

** Includes two of my own original female characters, both whom are romantically involved with two of the members. Chan x Jo / Minho x Ash **

Warnings: a lil bit of fluff. angst. swearing. sexual innuendos. use of alcohol. best friend skz. selfish han jisung. lots of crying. the boys do not use honorifics.

Word Count: 9.3k

**this chapter is unchanged**

Enjoy!

Lately you’ve been feeling like you were the last of your kind.

You sat slouched back in a drunken haze, your eyes glaring at yet another group of girls as they squealed annoyingly with one another. One of the females, a tall blonde with long hair and even longer legs, had just emerged from a dark room with a male idol you didn’t care enough to recognize. The male removed himself from her side immediately and disappeared into the crowd of people that littered the large house, no doubt looking for his next target, while she was carried away by her friends towards the nearby bathroom. The girls all giggled and whispered in not-so-hushed voices, vying for the dirty details you doubt any of them would experience themselves.

You sent a hard glare to the closed door they locked themselves behind and took a long swig from your red solo cup. Even over the music and ever-growing chatter around you, you could still hear the flock of airheads screaming relentlessly in excitement for their friend.

Girls your age have always been so fucking dramatic and it annoyed the hell out of you.

“What’s wrong y/n? Can’t handle a little competition?” a familiar voice cooed softly in your ear as the cushion next to you sank and a muscular arm hooked itself around your neck. Changbin planted a kiss on your cheek before taking the cup from your hand and chugging the rest of the liquid inside. He gave you a satisfied look at your drink of choice as he swallowed before tossing the empty cup onto the table in front of you. “I never pegged you for the jealous type.”

“Come on Binnie,” you joked, lazily turning your head towards him. “You know I put all those girls to shame.” It took a couple of seconds for your mind to catch up to your movements and you were left giggling at the delayed response of your own brain.

It’s been a while since you’ve been this tipsy and damn, did it feel good.

“You’re damn right you do.” Jisung hopped over the back of the L-shaped couch you were stretched out on and settled himself beneath your legs. He had two red cups in his hands and he handed one to you out of habit, which you happily accepted. “Those chicks don’t even come close to the level you sit on, Bubs.” he purred, his hand coming to rest on your thigh.

You smiled at his words, loving the way your ego grew as each syllable left his mouth.

“And that, my dear Sungie-” you leaned in towards him and flicked his nose. “-is why you guys are my best friends.”

Jisung gave you a wide smile in return and pushed his dark hair out of his eyes before he began toying with the strings that were hanging from the multiple rips in your black jeans. 

“Because I’m devilishly handsome and put you on a pedestal not even God can reach?” 

You let out a sigh and fell back into the side of Changbin’s body, resting your head against his shoulder for support and cuddling into the warmth his strong torso always emitted. 

“Because you guys always lie to me so perfectly that I have no choice but to believe it.” you corrected him before chugging back whatever Jisung had filled your cup with.

You swallowed in disgust as the tequila burned the back of your throat. This was definitely going to be your last drink of the night.

 Jisung just smirked at you, choosing not to respond to your words as his hand rubbed up and down your leg soothingly, absentmindedly tracing soft circles on whatever skin he came across.

Changbin, however, took immediate offence to your words, as he usually did, and wasted no time speaking out against your claims.

“Yah! We’d never lie to you, Bunny!” he protested, his phone momentarily forgotten as he frowned down at you. 

You turned your head up to give him a blank look.

“Binne, you guys literally lied to me last week about going to the gym.”

“No we didn’t.”

“Yes. You did.” you deadpanned. “I asked if you guys wanted to go and get ice cream, and the two of you claimed you couldn’t because you were meeting Chan for arm day.”

The two boys exchanged a look of confusion before shrugging their shoulders at you. You rolled your eyes at them.

“I literally caught you guys eating ice cream together, at the ice cream place, without me. Do you know how much I had to pay Innie to come with me that night? Dude doesn’t like to be rented out for cheap, I’ll tell you that much.” you muttered before taking another long, treacherous drink from the cup.

Changbin shrugged his shoulders again and gave you a guilty look.

“To be fair, Bunny, the last time we went out for ice cream together you ate half of my sundae.” he stated, as if that made everything better. You glared at him, resisting the urge to punch him in the arm.

“Yeah, because you ate half of my cone. In one fucking bite!” you bit back. 

“Hey now, it’s not Changbin's fault he’s got such a large mouth.” Jisung reasoned. Changbin took the opportunity to make the joke you knew would come the second the words left Jisung's mouth.

“I’ll show you something else that’s big.” he smirked down at you, his eyebrow raised mischievously as he popped his chest. You rolled your eyes and let out a groan.

“You guys are pigs.” 

Jisung frowned at you. “So mean.”

“Says the one who lied to me.” you shot back, trying to stop the grin that fell on your face as you pulled a pillow out from behind your body and threw it at Jisung. You loved bantering with these two. You sure were going to miss this.

Jisung caught the pillow with his one hand and threw his other up in surrender, nearly spilling his drink in the process.

“Okay, okay, we’re sorry! We did go to the gym, but decided to have some guy time before coming home. You know, just us dudes.” 

You feigned offence, turning your mouth down into a frown and pouting at Jisung. You knew your actions would immediately tug at your best friends heart strings, but you continued to push your lip out further for added effect.

“We’ve been best friends for nearly six years now. When did I get downgraded from one of the dudes to just some basic bitch?” You saw the way Jisungs face softened at your pout and you felt victorious. That is until Changbin opened his mouth and made you nearly spit your drink out directly into Jisungs face.

“Since Jisung realized he’d rather fuck your brains out than fist-bump you.”

Both you and Jisung turned to stare at Changbin.

“Oh my god! Binnie! What the hell?” 

“Dude, come on. What the hell?” 

You and Jisung spoke at the same time, your face twisted into a look of utter shock, while Jisung looked as if he wanted to beat Changbin to death right then and there.

“What?” Changbin laughed, smiling between the two of you as if what he said was the most natural sentence in the world. “I’m just saying.”

“You guys are pigs.” You repeated your earlier statement, rolling your eyes at him and squishing yourself into the corner of the couch. 

“Maybe, but you love us.” Changbin said confidently.

“Well, that’s certainly debatable.” you retorted. Changbin just stuck his tongue out at you before pulling his phone back out of his pocket and going back to scrolling, indicating the conversation was done and he was satisfied with the havoc he caused. 

You glanced over at Jisung, his face flushed with embarrassment as he chugged his drink back in one gulp. You were going to reach out to reassure him everything was okay and that you knew Changbin was only teasing, but just before your hand reached his, he jumped abruptly from his spot. 

“Need another drink.” Was all he managed to mumble out before he disappeared into the crowd.

You glared over at Binnie. “Nice going, Bin.”

Changbin rolled his eyes in annoyance before standing up and straightening his clothes.

“I’ll go take care of it.” he muttered, shaking his head as he shoved his phone back into the pocket of his jeans. You called after him to be nice, but you doubt he heard you.

You took another gulp of your drink, finishing it off completely as Felix then approached the couch with a pout. His lower lip jutted out further than yours had and he looked incredibly cute.

“Lixie," you drawled, concern lacing your tone as you reached out for him. "What’s wrong?”

His eyes were red and glassy, his blonde hair was slightly disheveled and he looked so disappointed in himself you thought he was going to cry.

“I lost against Minho in beer pong.” He immediately took your hand and fell to his knees onto the couch before crawling up your body. He nuzzled himself in between your legs, his head resting on your soft stomach while his arms curled comfortably around your waist. Your one hand instantly ran itself through his slightly damp hair while the other rubbed his arm.

You smiled down at him as he propped his chin up on your belly, his frown growing impossibly bigger. You loved how much of a cuddle bug Felix was with you. It was so comforting and relaxing and nice. 

“What did you guys bet on this time?” You questioned with a raise of your brow, knowing full well that Minho would never play just for the fun of it. There always had to be a prize to be won, one that he could hold over the loser for the rest of their days.

Felix let out a whimper.

“My black Chelsea boots.”

You tried not to laugh, but the sound escaped you anyways, earning a groan from Felix as he shoved his face back into the fabric of your shirt. 

“It’s not funny, y/n.” he grumbled. You laughed again and patted his head.

“I hate to say it, but you did it to yourself Lixie. You know better than to challenge Minho to a drinking game. Didn't you learn your lesson after you lost your sweater?” you joked, your fingers still running through his hair. 

“I just wanted to see him drunk. He’s always the only sober one out of all us males. It’s not fair. And now I lost my favorite shoes because I was a fool.”

You laughed at Felix’ words. Despite him being annoyed and upset, his words came out in a delicate sigh as he relaxed into your touch. Running your nails up and down his scalp only made him sigh again and relax even more. 

“Don’t worry, Jo will get them back for you.” You reassured him. Your eyes scanned the crowd until you found Jo standing over on the other side of the room with a soda in her hand, situated across the beer pong table from Minho. She had a mischievous look in her big brown eyes as Chan held her lovingly at the waist. 

“In fact, I think she’s about to win them back for you right now.” you continued, watching Jo sink her ball into one of Minho’s cups on her first shot. Minho glowered at her like a delinquent as he proceeded to chug back his drink. 

Felix lifted his head from your stomach long enough to glance back at the two of them as they faced off in the intense game of beer pong. He chuckled lightly before laying his head back down.

“She’s so brave.” he whispered in amazement. “No wonder Channie loves her so much.”

You let out a laugh in agreement as your eyes stayed glued on your life-long best friends. They were disgustingly cute, and it made you want to throw up and squeal in adoration at the same time. 

You watched as Jo then made another shot, sinking another ball, and Chan congratulating her with a kiss to the side of her head, her colored hair swaying as she laughed victoriously.

“She’s the only one I know who can go toe-to-toe with Minho and actually win.”

Felix laughed before curling his fingers into the back of your shirt, squeezing you tighter. 

“I’m going to miss you so much, Bunny.” he whispered, his voice suddenly soft and sad. You glanced down at him and took in the look on his face. You could tell he was drunk from the way his eyes couldn’t quite focus on you, but you could also tell he was a second away from crying. Felix always got more emotional when he drank.

“I know Lixie. I’m going to miss you too.” you murmured.

He swallowed roughly, no doubt trying to prevent the lump in his throat from becoming even bigger.

“What am I going to do without you for the next eighteen months?” he asked. He didn’t even give you time to answer before he continued on his rant. “Who’s going to play video games with me until three in the morning and then help me bake cookies afterwards instead of going to bed? Who’s going to cuddle with me like this while we watch our shows and tell me to shut up when I talk through all the important parts? Who’s going to go on early morning walks with me and watch the sunrise from the roof? Who the hell are Seung, Hannie, Binnie and I supposed to flirt with now?” 

You gave Felix a look of confusion at his last words, but he didn’t even glance up from where his eyes were now focused on the fabric of the couch. He just rambled on.

“You’re the last single female in the group you know. If we try to flirt with Ash, Minho will threaten to kick our asses for just looking at his fiancée, and if we try to flirt with Jo, she’ll literally kick our asses. You’re the only safe, tame option available. What are we going to do?”

You let out a sigh at his words and gave his head one last scratch with your nails as you braced yourself for the conversation you knew you needed to have. As much as you loved the boys and their naturally flirty nature, you were now officially no longer single, and you needed them to know that their shameless flirting was doing more harm than good.

“Actually, Lixie, about that. I’m not single anymore.” you spoke slowly, bracing yourself for his reaction. You felt his entire body freeze for a moment before his head popped up at the sudden news, eyes wide with shock.

“Wait, you and Seojun made it official?”

You couldn’t tell whether or not he was grimacing at the news, but you gave him a hopeful grin regardless.

“Yeah, we did last week after dinner.”

Felix smiled, though you noticed it didn’t quite reach his eyes the way it usually did when he was happy or excited. “Congratulations Bunny.” 

You tried not to let his lack of enthusiasm affect you. “Thanks Lixie.”

“Guess I should stop doing this then, hey?” Felix then awkwardly pulled away from you before you could stop him, repositioning himself so he was sitting on the couch with your legs stretched over his lap, much like how you were sitting with Jisung moments earlier. Though, unlike Jisung, Felix’s hands stayed on your knees and didn’t wander. You felt your heart drop at the sudden change in the atmosphere that surrounded you two, but chose not to comment. 

Your new boyfriend Seojun never got along with Felix, or any of the other single males in your friend group for that matter. He made an effort to be friendly with Minho and Chan, as they were already happily taken, but he struggled to get used to the idea of you being surrounded by six single males twenty-four seven. Even though Hyunjin and Jeongin saw you more like a sister rather than a potential romantic interest, Seojun was wary of them too.

He was trying to be alright with the idea, you knew that and you appreciated it, but you also knew that he wasn’t going to get used to it overnight, so laying down a boundary with the guys was a must if you wanted this relationship to last.

Felix cleared his throat awkwardly and sent you a hesitant laugh when you glanced his way. “Seriously though, Bun, what are we supposed to do now if we can’t even flirt with our best friend?” 

You rolled your eyes and cracked a smile at his question. 

“Oh, I don’t know Lixie. Maybe you guys should exert all the energy you use flirting with me into finding actual girlfriends while I’m gone?” 

Felix granted you a look of complete and utter disgust, the tension that hovered in the air between you momentarily forgotten. “That’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said to me.”

You sighed.

“I’m sorry Felix, but Seojun is growing less and less fond of you guys by the second, which isn’t good considering he wasn’t very fond of you all to begin with. Anytime you guys open your mouths and make a pass at me, he gets more and more agitated. You guys gotta stop, or at least tone it back.”

Felix let out a snort of discontent. You heard him mumble something about trust and relationships, but just as you were about to question him, you were interrupted by the sound of the music being cut short and microphone feedback echoing loudly off the walls.

You and Felix, along with everyone around you, all jumped at the noise and looked towards where Chan was now hoisting himself up onto the DJ’s stage that sat in the far corner of the living room, microphone in hand.

“Excuse me, can I have everyone's attention please?” he spoke loudly into the mic. The bodies that filled the room all turned to look at Chan as he waved at everyone to quiet down so he could talk.  “Guys, please, if I can have a moment?” he tried again. 

Groups of party-goers began sauntering out of the kitchen while clusters of people sat down along the staircase and others emerged from rooms looking guilty and disheveled. You were always jealous of how easily Chan could captivate an entire room of people in a matter of moments.

Changbin suddenly plopped back down onto the couch next you, wrapping his arm around your neck once more while Jisung took a seat beside Felix. He looked a little less flustered now, but far more intoxicated than he was before.

Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin pushed their way through the crowd and came around the side of the couch, settling themselves at your feet with drinks in their hands, while Minho plopped into an empty chair across from you, pulling Ash into his lap as he did so. 

In a matter of seconds, the entire room was quiet, watching Chan in awe as he flashed his dimples and began to speak.  

“Thank you all so much for being here tonight. The guys and I could not have asked for a better turn out. I’m sure a lot of you thought that the guys and I threw this party to celebrate our most recent comeback, but this party is actually a going away party we are throwing for one of our closest and dearest friends.”

When Chan made eye-contact with you and suddenly lifted his finger in your direction, you cringed and felt heat rise to your cheeks. Everyone's head turned your way.

“Y/n, Bunny, would you please join me on stage?” He beckoned you to join him. You resisted an eye roll and sighed as you looked up at Chan, your face flushed. You did not want this to be such a big deal.

“Bunnnnnnyyyyy,” Chan teased a second later, smiling at you expectantly. You shook your head and sent him daggers, begging him not to make you stand up in front of all these people. He didn’t let up though, and instead, he jumped down from the stage and pushed his way through the crowd towards where you sat, giving you a look that you knew all too well.

“Touch me and you die.” you threatened. 

Jeongin and Hyunjin leaned out of Chan’s way once he reached the couch, and before you could fight back, Chan grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you to your feet. He immediately ducked and picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing at all.

He held you firmly with one arm, laughing maniacally as he turned and retreated to the stage, ignoring the way you kicked your legs and begged him to put you down.

“Put me down you fucking heathen!” You squealed, trying to wiggle out of his tight grip.

He didn’t set you down until he was back on the stage, this time joined by Jo, who made sure to give your ass a loud smack before your feet even touched the ground. You glowered at her, but she just smiled and winked at you in return. 

She was your absolute best friend in the whole world, like two peas in a pod. She was the Ying to your Yang, the Sugar to your Spice, the Minho to your Jisung, so it was impossible for you to stay mad at her for anything, big or small. Still, you glared at her as she smacked your ass once more before she wrapped her arm around your waist and smiled proudly up at you.

“This girl right here is one of my oldest friends.” Chan announced then, putting his arm around your neck and leaning his head against yours. “She’s one of the coolest, most down-to-earth and loving people I’ve ever met, and tonight, we are celebrating her last night in town, as she leaves for her first ever European-American book tour tomorrow!”

You felt your cheeks and the tips of your ears redden as the crowd of people you mostly recognized but barely knew all erupted into cheers. A lot of them were other idols and groups that trained with Chan and the boys before debut, and they all looked genuinely happy for you, but there were a handful of those who you didn’t know, friends of friends you guessed, who cheered regardless just to feel included.

“This is something she’s been working towards for the last three and a half years! Not only is this her first published book, and first tour ever, but Under Our Stars has just hit number two on New York Time’s Best Selling Books of 2022!”

Again, the crowd burst into cheers at Chan’s statement, your friends being the loudest and proudest of them all, and you fought back a wave of emotion that suddenly entered your body.

“She will be gone for the next eighteen months, so everyone, please, if you respect me and love me, please bid our Bunny goodbye and wish her luck on her journey before you leave tonight.”

Chan paused to grab his drink and raised it in the air.

“To y/n!” he toasted, and everyone in the room toasted along with him. "I am so proud of you Bunny. You deserve all of this. You’re going to kill it out there.”

You smiled awkwardly at the unexpected applause you received, trying to hold back your tears as you planted a peace sign to your dimple and gave the crowd a goofy grin in thanks.

Chan pulled you into a tight hug while the crowd continued to clap for you. You could hear Felix, Minho, Ash, and Seungmin scream your name as Hyunjin and Jeongin began clapping manically. Jisung and Changbin let out a ‘That’s my baby!’ somewhere in the background of the noise, but you were too focused on Chan and his now glossy eyes as you pulled back from his embrace.

“Bang Christopher Chan, are you crying?” you teased quietly, not wanting to draw attention to him. He all but nodded and buried his face into your hair, pulling you in for another tight hug.

“Y/n, you’re one of my closest friends. I’ve known you and Jo since we were in diapers. Writing has always been what you wanted to do, and you’ve spent your life working towards this accomplishment. You got to watch me and the kids live out our dreams, and I’m so excited that we finally get to watch you live out yours.”

The music started up again and people had gone back to what they were doing prior to Chan's dramatic speech, but you were too awestruck by his drunken words to return to your spot on the couch with Changbin. You gave him a frown as the tears escaped his eyes, and you reached up with the sleeve of your sheer shirt to try and wipe some of them away before you hugged him one last time.

“I love you Channie,” you whispered. Chan sniffled once, twice, almost three times before crushing you into his arms, causing Jo to step forward and grab him as he cried.

“Okay Big Guy, let the girl breathe.” she rolled her eyes as she thankfully pulled Chan away from you. “We aren’t saying goodbye until we drop her off at the airport tomorrow. You gotta’ save your strength so you can hold me when I inevitably end up blubbering like a little bitch.” she soothed, the tears still falling dramatically down his face.

He didn’t even care if he looked pathetic. He was so happy for you.

“I’m just so happy for her,” he voiced, practically sobbing into his girlfriend's shoulder. She shushed him and handed the microphone back to the DJ before wrapping her arm around him and pulling his large figure off stage. 

You shook your head at him, thankful to have him in your life, before you jumped off the stage yourself and returned to your spot on the couch. People smiled and patted your back as you passed them, congratulating you on your success and wishing you luck, which you awkwardly thanked them for.

When you reached the couch again, you plopped back down in your spot beside Changbin, cuddling into his side. Felix had retreated to the floor with the other three, all four of them watching tiktoks together, allowing Jisung to take his place under your legs once again. Almost immediately after you laid back, Jisung bent his upper body to lay next to you, his head resting on your shoulder as you pulled out your phone and began checking your notifications.

The rest of the night went by like this. You, surrounded by your closest friends, laughing and drinking and enjoying the last few hours of peace you’d have before your life turned into one big stressful puddle. A puddle filled with book signings, late flights, early mornings, meet and greets and more. And even though you acted as if the entire tour wasn’t at all a big deal, deep inside you were scared to death.

*****

You have always been enamoured by Han Jisung.

Ever since you met him pre-debut, you knew he was the type of friend you’d inevitably have for a lifetime. His hard-work and dedication, his playful personality, his big brown eyes and gummy smile. The second he introduced himself to you at Chan’s backyard barbeque, you knew his presence in your life would be infinite.

Sure, he came across as an asshole during his time on the survival show, but you knew right away his attitude was nothing but a façade he had put up in order to protect himself, to mask the anxiety in his brain that never seemed to have an off switch. 

But off camera, he was nothing but an introverted goofball who just wanted to be liked by everyone around him. He craved attention and praise, and as he and Chan and the other members who would eventually make up Stray Kids bonded, you and he bonded too, and quickly at that.

It had taken him no longer than two months to worm his way into your heart, and that’s where he snuggled up and stayed, taking up a permanent residence right next to Chan and Jo. 

The two of you did everything together. Going out for food, clothes shopping, karaoke, late-night ice cream runs, bike rides, road trips, vlogging on your crappy iphones for no one else except for you two to see. You helped him find beauty in the smallest of things, creating inspiration for his music, and he helped you see the world in a different light, bringing you inspiration for your book. 

You two were quick to become the best of friends, the perfect combo, like peanut butter and nutella; loveable on your own but together, you were unstoppable. 

You never could pinpoint the exact moment your enamourment with Jisung grew into something more, only that it was after debut, when he really started to find himself. One day he was your best-friend, the next you looked at him as if he hung the stars, because for you, he did. 

For you, he would.

Never in a million years did you think he’d feel even an ounce of something in return for you, and when he began bringing home random girls and disappearing into his room with them every Friday night, you knew you’d never be anything more than his best-friend. 

But you were okay with that. The affectionate and loving friendship the two of you shared would suffice for the next one hundred years if it had to. You’d take him however you could have him, and if that meant watching him be happy with someone else, then so be it.

It took you a long time to get over some of your feelings for him; some days you still felt like you had a long way to go, but when you met Seojun at the most recent Authors Convention nearly five months prior to this fateful night, it immediately felt easier. 

Suddenly, Jisung wasn’t invading every thought, causing a hitch in every breath, being the sole reason for every laugh that bubbled up from your throat. You loved Jisung more than you’ve ever loved anybody else, but with Seojun, it just felt easier to exist, and that was what helped your feelings for Jisung slowly begin to fade.

So, when Jisung wrapped his arms around your waist and snuggled his face into your neck in a drunken stupor, pulling you from your racing thoughts, your breath hitched in your throat, just like it always did. When he planted a soft kiss against your neck right below your ear, small enough for no one else to notice, you froze in place. When a soft whimper left Jisung’s mouth involuntarily, followed by a whispered plea, “Jagiya”, you thought your heart would stop beating right then and there.

Just like it did every time something like this happened.

Before you did something you’d both regret, you had to remind yourself that Jisung was intoxicated and just looking to get his dick wet, that he didn’t actually want you the way you wanted him.

A wave of guilt washed over you. 

You knew you needed to tell him about Seojun. As much as you wished Jisung would do it again, you had to remind yourself of the romance you had decided to chase, a promise of a long-lasting relationship with someone who actually liked you back. 

You weren’t about to throw that away for a one night stand you knew Jisung would regret in the morning when sobriety took over, no matter how badly a piece of you wanted to.

You needed to tell him, but this was not the time or place. 

You gulped as your nerves sprung to life at the mere thought of the conversation, and Jisung picked up on your change in mood instantly. He lifted his head up to look at you in concern as a shaky breath left your mouth.

“You okay, Bubs?” he whispered quietly as to not draw attention to the two of you. 

The house was emptying out slowly but surely as the clock drew closer and closer to midnight. A lot of the guests had early morning interviews and practices, so you didn’t expect anyone to really stay past one. But just because loads of people had already said their goodbyes and left, it didn’t mean there weren’t dozens more still lazily hanging about.

The music had dwindled significantly, leaving the room filled with nothing but noisy chatter. Chan and Jo were beginning their slow clean up of the house, accompanied by Minho, Jenn and Felix, but it still felt too crowded to have such an important talk. 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” you gave him a reassuring smile, ignoring the way his hands ran up and down your sides. “Can we maybe go somewhere a little quieter? There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

Jisung gave you one of his goofy, gummy-filled grins and nodded before pulling himself up and off the couch. He grabbed you by the hand, lacing his fingers with yours as he pulled you to your feet and dragged you away from the crowd.

“I’m actually really glad you asked. There’s something I’ve been meaning to show you and I think now is the perfect time.”

You were silent while Jisung pulled you up the staircase and down the hallway towards his bedroom. 

“I finished this song yesterday and I really need your opinion on it.” he spoke again as he pulled you into his room and shut the door behind you. He guided you excitedly to his desk and pushed you down into his computer chair, ignoring the way you sighed at him as he opened his laptop and loaded up his music file.

“Sungie, this isn’t really the ti-”

“Please Bubs? Please?” Jisung interrupted, a hopeful look on his face, his hands praying for you to hear him out. “Please, I just need three minutes of your time and then you can have the floor for as long as you want. It’s really important to me.”

You couldn’t help but give in after seeing the twinkle of anticipation in his eyes. You always loved how excited he got over the tracks he made, and how you were always the first one he showed them to. Sure, you knew almost nothing about producing music, just the basics you learned from Chan and Changbin, but Jisung always took your feedback seriously and worked his ass off to make sure each and every track was perfect.

“The working title right now is Volcano. It’s my favorite track yet.” he explained. He handed you his big headphones and helped you place them comfortably on your head before pressing play.

Jisungs expression while he watched your reaction was a mixture of anxiousness, enthusiasm, and hope, and you knew by the intensity of his gaze that this wasn’t just another track he’d stirred up in a day's time. He slaved over this track for months and your opinion and feedback alone would either make or break his decision to release it publicly. 

The song was absolutely incredible. You never heard a song so raw, so passionate, so intense before, and you felt yourself get goosebumps along your arms and legs with every word.

You closed your eyes and allowed your entire body to get lost in the beat, the emotion behind Jisungs voice overwhelming you so much that you found tears building up in the corners of your eyes as you listened to the melody, the tune, the lyrics.

It made your heart flutter and clench in pulses, and when that chorus crashed back into your eardrums one final time, you felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest and explode.

It was fucking phenomenal.

And then it was over way too soon.

Jisung was quiet while he watched you, smiling while he brought his hand up to wipe away the tears that managed to escape down your face. He waited patiently as you hit the replay button and listened to the song again, not once, not twice, but three more times.

Immediately, it became your favourite song.

After your fourth playthrough, Jisung waited patiently while you salvaged your composure, breathing through the emotions that had hit you like a brick.

“Sungie,” you whispered, shaking your head in amazement as you finally turned to meet his gaze. “That song is-” you trailed off, unable to even find the words to describe what you were feeling right now.

Despite the tears in your eyes and the proud look on your face, Jisung was still nervous.

“Did you like it?” he asked while wringing his hands together.

You let out a huff of laughter, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Like it? Jisung, it’s fucking beautiful. I love it.” you told him honestly.

A breath of relief left Jisungs mouth before his face fell into one of the brightest, cheekiest smiles you’ve ever seen.

“Thank fuck.”

Another laugh bubbled out of your mouth and you gave him a look of endearment.

“What? Was my opinion really that important?” you teased, knowing full well that it was. You were completely unprepared for the next words to slip past his lips.

“Well yeah, I wrote this song for you, Bubs.”

You froze in place, your eyes on his once again as your smile fell.

“What?” you asked.

Jisungs grin grew impossibly wider, his eyes beaming with adoration.

“A fucking beautiful song for a fucking beautiful woman.”

You suddenly felt like you couldn’t breathe.

This is not where you wanted this conversation to go.

“Jisung, I don-”

You were cut off abruptly by the sound of your phone ringing loudly in your pocket. Confused and frustrated at the interruption, you pulled it out and felt a sharp pain stab through your chest.

Seojun.

Of fucking course it was Seojun.

“Shit, sorry Ji, I have to take this.”

You didn’t bother waiting for an answer before you jumped from your seat and paced towards the door, trying to keep your voice low. Jisung bit his lip and watched you anxiously, listening in to the one-sided conversation you were having. 

He knew the second he saw Seojuns name pop up on your phone that something was up.

“Hey Seojun…. Yeah, I’m doing good, still hanging with the crew… Yeah, I’ll be heading home in the next hour or so to pack… You know I procrastinate!... Well, maybe when I’m home we can facetime and you can help me pack?.... God, you’re so wonderful…. I’ll call you when I’m home okay?… You too…. Bye.”

Jisung tried to keep it together as he overheard you speaking in a low, hushed voice. He tried to keep cool, but he could practically hear his heart shattering as each word left your mouth. You and Seojun were no longer just friends, and all plans to confess his ever-growing feelings to you after pining after you for so long suddenly dissipated.

All the years Jisung spent trying to make you jealous, trying to get your attention, trying to make you see that you were everything to him and more, was in vain. All his advances and relentless flirting had no effect on you.

You had found someone else. 

It was game over for him.

Jisung felt ill.

“Sorry Sungie, wha-” you stopped short when you turned back towards him, noticing the way his head was now hung. His unblinking eyes stared at the ground as wetness pooled at the corners of them, causing panic to set in your bones. 

“Jisung, what’s wrong?” He was picking at his thumbnail and didn’t even glance up when you spoke.

He was silent for a moment before, “I don’t want you to leave.”

His voice was quiet and sad, and it shook slightly as he responded. He knew trying to convince you to stay was useless, but now that he knew you and Seojun had taken the next step, he was desperate to grasp at straws. He needed you to stay.

You frowned at his words and sat next to him in the chair, taking his hands in yours. You rubbed your thumbs over his knuckles, urging him to stop picking at his skin.

“I know Sungie. This next year and a half is going to suck, but we’ll survive it. We always do.” You reassured him. You were completely oblivious to the reason behind Jisungs sudden change in mood, and it was making him feel worse. He hiccuped and a drop of water fell onto the back of your hand, followed by another, and you felt your heart crack.

Jisung was crying.

“Sungie, what’s wrong?” You asked him again, instinctively pulling him into a hug. His arms snaked around your waist without hesitation and he buried his face into your neck. You could feel his tears soaking your skin and you found yourself holding back a sob of your own as your hands ran slowly up and down his back.

“Please don’t leave me. Please, Bubs. I need you. I need you here with me. Please stay.” he cried. He hated groveling, hated being weak like this, but he had to find a way to stop you from leaving with a man who didn’t love you the way he did. He’d do anything.

“Ji.” you whispered as you pulled back to look at him, brushing stray hairs out of his eyes as you wiped at his tears. “It’ll be okay. I promise.”

Jisung shook his head and let out another choked sob before he swallowed and did the last thing you ever expected him to do. He quickly brought his hands up to cup your cheeks and pressed his lips against yours roughly, pouring every ounce of love and adoration he had for you into the kiss he’d been waiting years for.

His lips were warm, soft, and felt like heaven against yours, but the shock of his actions caused you to pull away from him in total confusion.

“Sungie, what the hell are you doing?” you asked, unsure how to process what had just happened. Jisungs hands stayed glued to your cheeks as he pleaded.

“Please, don’t go. Not with him.”

You froze at his words. Dread and confusion turned your stomach to mush and you felt like you were going to throw up as Jisung continued to speak.

“Seojun's an asshole. He’s not good for you. I don’t want you to go with him. None of us want you to go with him.”

You pulled your face out of Jisungs hold and leaned away from him, a look of betrayal and shock clear across your features.

“I’m sorry?” There’s no way you had heard him right. “What do you mean none of you want me to go with him?”

Jisung wiped at his face, trying to dry the tears that continued to pour out at your silent rejection.

“The only one who likes him is you, Bubs. The only reason we even tolerate him is because Jo asked us to.” 

You blinked at his statement, feeling another wave of confusion wash over you, followed by irritation and then downright annoyance. Your brain was honestly still trying to process the kiss you two shared, but your mouth was five steps ahead.

“What the hell is your problem?”

“Do you love him?” Jisung abruptly asked.

“Jesus Jisung. I don’t know! We haven’t even been dating for a whole week, you idiot!” 

“So you don’t love him?” 

He knew he was being an idiot now, sputtering out any type of bullshit he could to try and save this. He knew it was useless, but he always told himself he wouldn’t go down without a fight, and a fight is what he got.

“What the fuck, dude?” You threw your hands up in exasperation, growling at his stupid inquiries. Jisung winced at your change in tone. 

“I’m sorry Bubs. I don’t like him. He’s not good for you! You and I both know the only reason you’re with him is because he got you published.” 

That was a low blow, he knew it. But the connection from his brain to his mouth had been severed and all he could do was ramble, letting his emotions take control.

“Are you-? Are you saying the only reason I was invited to go on this tour is because of him? As if I couldn’t have done any of this myself?” you spat, feeling your anger boil. Jisungs eyes widened as you misunderstood what he was trying to say.

“Jesus, Bubs, no, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just-” he paused and ran a hand through his hair, pulling on it roughly in frustration before letting everything out, rendering you speechless.

“I am so fucking head over heels in love with you, y/n. Can’t you see that? I’ve been in love with you since before debut. I have spent years trying to get your attention. And suddenly, this asshole shows up out of nowhere and kicks me to the curb? I should be the one going on this tour with you, travelling with you, making memories with you, not him. I should be the one beside you, holding you while you live out your biggest dreams. It’s always been you and me.” 

At Jisungs sudden confession, a new wave of emotion overcame you. The anger, the annoyance, the irritation all drained from your body and you were left with nothing but tears suddenly pouring out of your eyes the same way they were pouring out of Jisungs.

You had waited for so long to hear those words come from his mouth. You had dreamed of him confessing to you and kissing you the way he had so many times, in so many different ways, so why was your heart breaking impossibly more instead of soaring the way you always imagined it would? 

Why was he doing this?

Why now?

You let the tears fall down your face freely, not bothering to wipe them away while Jisung sat on the stool, staring at you with so much conviction in his big, beautiful eyes. Anger, sadness, adoration and love, regret, hurt. All of those emotions shone back at you and you felt every single one of them as if they were your own.

“Why are you bringing this up now, Sungie?” you whispered, desperately searching for reason. “When I’m less than twenty-four hours away from going on the biggest adventure of my life. Why?”

Jisung’s face softened as he reached forward and grabbed your hand. He watched you hiccup and sniffle while he rubbed his thumb over yours in an attempt to help you calm down.

“Because I don’t want you to leave,” he whispered.

If his confession didn’t throw you for a loop, this last sentence definitely did, and you found yourself jumping out of your seat, the bubble of anger suddenly returning.

“That’s bullshit Jisung! Are you fucking kidding me right now?" you spat out in disbelief. "I have known you and the guys for almost six years. I have done nothing but support you and cheer for you from the sidelines while you’ve been living out your biggest dreams on stage, becoming the superstar you always said you were born to be. I have stayed up with you for nights on end, helping you make your mark in this industry, watching you create and produce beautiful music. I have stayed behind while all ten of you guys go on tour without me and I haven’t complained once because it’s been your dream, and now that I’m about to go live out mine, you’re telling me you don’t want me to go? Do you know how fucking selfish that it?”

You began pacing around the room, searching for something to punch while simultaneously trying to resist the urge to break anything you could find. Jisung sat planted on his stool, staring at you. 

“I’m sorry.” he spoke low enough that you almost didn’t hear him. You did though, and his words caused you to whirl around on him once more, your face now covered in mascara-stained tears while every emotion you were feeling brought an unruly red to your face.

“No, you’re not! If you were really sorry, Jisung, you wouldn’t have even brought this up in the first place! So why are you? Why now? If you’ve felt this way about me for as long as you’ve said, why now? Why not a month ago? Two months ago? A year ago? Three years ago? If you’ve felt this way about me since debut, why haven’t you told me?”

Jisung’s face scrunched up into an expressionless laugh as he crossed his arms and gave you a sceptical look.

“Do you honestly believe if I had told you how I felt all those years ago, you would’ve had an ounce of feelings for me in return?” Jisungs face was quizzical and sour, his voice dripping with a sudden poison as he glowered at you.

He was oh-so impossibly wrong.

It was your turn to let out a humorless laugh.

“Contrary to popular belief Jisung, yeah actually, I would’ve. I did.” you answered. In a split second, Jisungs demeanor flickered, his eyebrows softening at your words and a puzzled expression found its way to his face.

“Wait, you what?” he asked in surprise. You hesitated for a moment before spilling out your own confession to him. You two were already this deep into the fight, there was no point in holding back now. 

“Jisung, I have loved you since the moment I first met you. I fell in love with you after watching you work your ass off every damn day, doing everything you possibly could do to make sure you’d survive another week on the show. The hours upon hours of dedication and hardwork you put into being the best version of yourself possible. Being the most vulnerable, unapologetically, truest version of yourself. I watched you fall and fail, and I watched you fail better. I watched you grow from this small, innocent little dickwad of a teenager to this confident and cocky grown ass man who oozes charisma and charm and happiness everywhere you go. I have loved you since day one, so don’t tell me I wouldn’t have.”

Jisungs eyes widened at your confession, his eyebrows disappearing behind the hair that hung across his forehead. He choked out a breath, shaking his head at you incredulously.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

You swallowed roughly around the lump that sat idly in your throat, willing your tears to stop.

“Maybe because I had to watch you stumble back into the dorms with a different chick on your arm every Friday night for four and a half fucking years! Yes, watching the one person I loved more than anything else in this world hook up with some random bitch who didn’t know the first thing about him really instilled a lot of confidence in me.”

You saw the way Jisungs eyes fell at your use of words, and you had to force yourself to look away from his face before you changed your mind.

“Wait, loved? As in-”

“Past. Tense.” You lied, glaring at the Han Quokka plush that sat on his dresser. Another one sat directly beside it, wearing a pink shirt and a tu-tu, meant to represent you. Quokka Prince and his Quokka Princess.

“Fuck.” Jisung spat, bringing your attention back to him as he removed himself from the stool and rushed towards you. You glanced at his face and regretted it upon seeing a new wave of waterworks streaming down his puffy cheeks.

“No, no, no, no.” he begged quietly, his hands coming up to cup your face once more. “Please, Bubs, I’m so sorry. I’m so incredibly sorry. For everything.” He planted a soft kiss to your forehead and you restrained yourself some melting into the feeling. “Please, stay with me tonight, yeah? I can fix this. We can fix this. We can talk about this and figure it out. Please.”

You hated the way butterflies tore through your stomach as soon as his hands rested on your cheeks, his big brown eyes staring into yours in a way you always wanted them to. You hated the way your head tilted up towards his automatically, silently screaming at him to just kiss you again. You absolutely despised the way you trembled under his touch as the pads of his thumbs wiped at your wet cheeks.

You couldn’t. You wouldn’t. You would not let yourself do that to Seojun, and you sure as hell weren’t about to pass up the opportunity of a lifetime that waited for you, no matter how much he begged. You couldn’t. You weren’t going to throw away your dreams for him. 

But with the way Jisung was holding you, it was nearly impossible for you to say no. Which is why you pulled your head out of his grasp once again and furrowed your brows together.

“You’re not listening to me, Jisung.” you whispered, your head now falling forward as you forced yourself to break your best friend's heart the way you always promised him you wouldn’t. “I don’t love you. Not like that. Not anymore.”

It was the biggest, filthiest lie that ever left your mouth, and for once, Jisung didn’t catch onto it. He didn’t hear the tremble that caused you to stutter over the words ‘I don’t’, and he sure as hell didn’t hear your heart shattering into a million tiny pieces as you spoke.

You stepped away from him and turned to leave. You needed to get out of this room, this house, before your emotions got the better of you and made you stay. You had an adventure waiting for you, you had fans to meet and books to sign and conventions to attend and memories to make, and you knew that if you stayed for even a minute longer, your resolve would break and you’d never leave Jisung or his room ever again.

“Where are you going?” Jisungs broken and defeated voice was small, but you stopped in your tracks as if he’d yelled.

“I’m going home to pack my suitcase and then I’m leaving for my tour. If this is still something you want to talk about when I get back, fine, but you’re not ruining this chance or this relationship for me. I’ll see you at the airport tomorrow.”

You took another step towards the door when Jisungs next words cut through you like a knife. His voice was hard, sharp and clipped.

“No, you won’t.” You knew if you turned back around, Jisungs face would be that of a total stranger. Stoic, numb, emotionless. His words forced a sob out of your throat at his abruptness, but you didn’t dare turn around

“I’m sorry y/n.” your name already sounded so foreign coming from his mouth, and it was then that you knew nothing between the two of you would ever be the same again. Chan always said the infamous Han Jisung loved hard and hated harder, and boy was he right. You could practically feel the daggers he was shooting into the back of your skull.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t say goodbye and let you run off with someone who doesn’t love you the way I do. I can’t let you run off and make the biggest mistake of your life. I won’t.”

You bit your tongue and swallowed hard, forcing tears back as your blurry vision found the polaroid picture of the two of you Jisung had sticking out from his lightswitch cover.

It was a candid photo Hyunjin had taken of you guys at the beach nearly three years ago. The two of you had your hands interlocked and you were dancing and laughing along the shore of the beach, the sun setting beautifully in the background. Neither one of you even realized Hyunjin took the photo until two months later when he gave it to Jisung as a birthday present. 

It was your favorite photo.

The lump in your throat grew bigger as you ripped your eyes away from the memory, knowing you’d never get that feeling of happiness with Jisung again. Not after this.

“Fine,” you sniffled one last time at his harsh and hurtful words. “I guess I’ll see you next June.”

And with that, you left.

Here we are, back at part one again!!!

Hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did!

As always, feedback & interactions are always welcome and greatly appreciated!! Thank you for reading!

Hannji Asks: what was your favorite part from Part One?

lmk in the replies or with an ask!

See you soon for Part Two!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @sungshineworld @collisvng @ihrtlix

If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know!!

Next Part

[itsseohannbin]

• Like A Volcano | Part Three | •

Han Jisung Mini Series

© itshannjisung, 2024

♡ itsseohannbins masterlist ♡

Series Masterlist

Chapter Genre: Angst⚡️. Hurt

-Bestfriends to Lovers Trope-

Summary: being best friends with the kings of kpop always has its ups and downs, and when you're offered a spot on the next European-American book tour to promote the publishing of your new book, there's one kpop king in particular who just doesn't want you to go.

Pairing: Idol!Han Jisung x Female Reader x Bestfriend Skz

** Includes two of my own original female characters, both whom are romantically involved with two of the members. Chan x Jo / Minho x Ash **

Warnings: angst. hurt. swearing. mentions of alcohol. mentions/implications of domestic abuse. mentions/implications of cheating. mentions/implications of domestic manipulation. mentions of injuries sustained from domestic abuse (reader has a fractured wrist). reader has a panic attack. one instance of self-hatred. instances of self-doubt.

I think that's it. If I missed any, lmk!!

Word Count: 7k

**this chapter has been edited & heavily revised from the original**

Enjoy!

It’s been sixteen months since you left home.

Sixteen months since you left your world behind to embark on what was promised to be the adventure of a lifetime. An adventure filled with smiling faces, adoring fans, hot interviews, exclusive meetings and so, so much more.

It’s been sixty-nine weeks since you’ve had a proper night's sleep.

Sixty-two since you’ve last felt relaxed.

Fifty-six since you even felt a real smile on your face.

Four-hundred and eighty-five days since you said goodbye to your family, and four-hundred and eighty-four since you said goodbye to Jisung.

Sixteen months since you left and you’ve regretted every fucking second of it.

While you were gone, everyone kept in touch with you, just like they promised they would.

Felix and Hyunjin facetimed with you every couple of nights before bed just to tell you about their days and talk about how much they missed you. Changbin messaged you every couple of days to quiz you on your Korean and ask for girl advice as he did so. Seungmin, Jeongin, and you scheduled regular game nights where you’d all load up on snacks and play video games online together into the wee hours of the morning, despite the major time difference between Korea and America.

As Ash and Minho began wedding planning, they made sure to include you in every part of it as if you were right there beside them. They sought out your expertise on every detail and decision they made in terms of color schemes, decor, dress styles, tie options, and everything else that came along with getting married.

Jo and Chan texted you every single day, nearly every hour, updating you on life back at the family house. They informed you of every single joke Seungmin made over breakfast, every single idea the group had come up with for new tracks, every time Minho found a stray cat on the street and begged Chan to let him bring it home despite Changbin’s allergies as if he wasn’t a grown ass adult who could do whatever he pleased.

Even when their Maniac Tour began, they always found time for you. They sent you endless Tiktok’s and Reels of their performances, videos of the goofy shit they’d get up to while backstage, the links to new interviews and Skz-Talkers as soon as they were released. They even went as far as video chatting you mid-concert to help you feel included, passing the phone around to each member as they danced on stage and sang along with the rest of Stay. 

All but Jisung.

He was the only one you hadn’t heard from. He was the only one who wouldn’t take the phone during the concert video chat, the only one who didn’t send you funny animal videos on the regular, or send selfies asking for your opinion before posting them to social media. He was the only one who hadn’t updated you on his life since you left.

It was as if the two of you were complete strangers.

Everyone else called to check in and make sure you were having fun, and it was getting increasingly harder to pretend that you were.

When your and Jisung’s eyes met back at the airport through the line of people waiting to go through security, you froze. You hadn’t expected him to come, and upon seeing him standing there, looking less than stellar and frowning at you in distress, you had to force your feet to stay put.

It took every ounce of willpower you had not to run into his arms. You had to remind yourself of the things he had said to you the night before and how selfish he had been. You had to remind yourself of Seojun, the man who was waiting for your arrival at the Vancouver Airport, where he had flown a week earlier to prep the tour itinerary with his manager, Sookie.

Your and Jisung's eyes locked for no more than thirty seconds before you forced yourself to spin on your heel and walk away from the temptation he held. He didn’t call you or text you at all to even explain why he had suddenly shown up and what he wanted. He simply let you walk away from him again, and that was the last time you had any form of contact with him. 

As much as you wanted him to, you couldn’t even blame him for not trying one last time to stop you. You broke his heart and left him behind, two things you once promised you’d never do. He had every right to hate your guts, though there was no way he could hate you any more than you already hated yourself for it.

Still, you held out hope for a text, a call, a freakin’ email. Anything to let you know he still wanted you in his life, but you knew it would never come. Your friendship was over, and based on the way the rest of the members would tense up and go quiet whenever Jisung’s name unintentionally left your mouth, you knew he would never forgive you.

Not this time.

“Y/n? Are you even listening?”

You tore your gaze away from the photo on your phone that Felix had sent of him, Jeongin, and Jisung at their LA concert, and looked towards the voice that called your name. It took you a second to register who spoke.

“Hmmm?” you hummed in response, feeling dazed and confused and every bit tipsy that you should’ve been given the triple shot of vodka you had just downed a moment before. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

Seojun, whose hand was possessively wrapped around your waist, dug his nails into the skin above the waistband of your jeans, glaring down at you as he undoubtedly left half-moon indents in his wake.

A warning.

He leaned in close to you with a tight-lipped smile, seeming as though he was going to kiss the side of your head affectionately. Instead, he spoke in a harsh tone that was quiet enough for your ears only.

“He’s never going to forgive you y/n, and at this rate, I won’t either if you don’t put your fucking phone down and socialize,” he growled. He dug his nails in once more for good measure and you bit back a wince of pain as the pads of his fingers grazed over the barely healed scars from days previous.

“Sorry Jun,” you muttered an apology, pocketing your phone before he could grab it from you. He gave you a satisfied smile before turning his attention back to the redhead who called on you.

“You’ll have to excuse my girlfriend Kymmy, she’s still recovering from this morning,” he chided with a wink, pulling you flush against his waist all the while flashing Kymmy a flirty smirk.

Prick.

Kymmy’s smile turned almost ravenous as his innuendo, her eyes darkening with intrigue as she reached across the table and rested her hand on his arm.

“Girlfriend, hey?” she looked away from Seojun long enough to give you a bored once over before her eyes met his again. “How much is she paying you?”

If it wasn’t for Seojun’s fingernails digging into your skin you would’ve reached across the table and strangled her. Seojun, however, just simply laughed at her comment.

“You’re a funny one, Kymmy. It’s no wonder Juho likes you so much.” he elbowed his friend’s ribcage in approval. Kymmy’s eyes flickered to Juho for a brief second and you saw the look of utter disdain on her lips that disappeared so quickly that you wouldn’t have believed it happened if you didn’t witness it yourself.

Kymmy had no interest in Juho, and everyone in here knew it except for the poor bastard himself. The only person she was interested in currently had his hand tightly gripping your hip.

And for all you cared, she could have him.

Hell, she’d probably get him anyway when you were fast asleep and he was looking for someone else to help with his never-ending sexual desire; a desire you never seemed to be able to fulfill.

You should’ve cared more for Kymmy’s obvious advances towards your boyfriend, and his towards her. You should’ve gotten jealous and gripped his arm in annoyance while bitching the redhead out like Seojun so desperately wanted you to, but you didn’t. 

You were used to this game by now, played it out more times than you cared to admit. Seojun’s favorite mind game was to make you jealous in every way he possibly could so you’d be forced to punish him later for it. He got off on the possessive behavior you’d express.

And it was fun at first. Experimental and exciting. It helped speed things along in your new and budding relationship, but when you discovered he was sneaking out after you’d fallen asleep to meet other women behind closed doors despite all the fun you two had, it was a game you were growing tired of, and quickly at that.

It took you three months into the tour to discover Seojun had been cheating on you. But by then, it was too late to back out, too late to make a scene and leave him. Leaving him would’ve caused too many problems, problems you couldn’t afford to let happen, not when your entire support system was halfway across the world from you.

When you confronted Seojun about the cheating late one night after he snuck back inside your shared hotel room, he immediately grew defensive. Shortly after that the abuse and manipulation started.

He continued sneaking around and meeting with women. Some were his own fans, others worked at the venues Sookie had booked for tour events, but a lot of them were just random women he’d meet in bars or on the street. The only difference now was that he didn’t bother hiding it.

He always came back to you, smelling of sweat and sex and varieties of expensive perfumes, and each time you told him you wanted to leave, wanted to break up and return home, and each time he threatened you into staying.

He’d threaten your career, your friendships, even your life. He’d grab you when you’d try to leave with your suitcase in hand, and he’d pull your arm so hard you were afraid it would pop out of its socket. He’d get in your face, yell at you, spit at you, backhand you for trying to leave him.

And then he’d cry.

He’d cry so hard he’d lose his breath and beg you to stay, to not leave him, telling you that you were the only good thing he had in his life. He’d tell you that maybe if you just paid a little more attention to him, he wouldn’t feel the need to seek validation from other women, wouldn’t feel the urge to hit you and hurt you the way he had. He’d beg you so hard and scare you into thinking he was going to hurt himself if you left, so you’d stay. You’d stay, and then he’d do it all over again.

It was a vicious cycle, one you were beginning to get worn out from by the second, but at the end of the day, you knew you couldn’t just leave. Seojun loved you, and this was what love was.

At least that’s what he had convinced you of at first. Now, you were just trying to get through the last few months of the tour so you could go home and be with your family and never have to see his face again.

When you finally came to terms with what you were experiencing, realizing that this wasn’t love, that this relationship was toxic and unhealthy, you had taken your problems and concerns to Sookie, the only female on tour whom you trusted.

Despite the abuse you had suffered, she urged you to stay, explaining how the number of fans that were to attend the coming events for you specifically had nearly tripled in size, and that leaving abruptly would do nothing but disappoint them. You may have trusted her, but that didn’t mean the two of you were friends. You knew she was more concerned about the money it would bring in than your overall physical, mental, and emotional health, but you didn’t have any energy left to call her out on it. She assured you she would take care of it and sent you on your way.

It was only two more months. You could surely survive two more months, right?

You jumped slightly when a shoe came into contact with your shin, hard and painful, pulling you from another whirlwind of dark thoughts. You glanced back up from where your eyes had been fixated on the napkin you were toying with and found Seojun glaring down at you again.

“Y/n, babe, Levi asked you a question. Can you show a little respect and answer him, please.” Seojun's smile was sweet, but you could see the annoyance and anger sparkling in his eyes.

You were going to pay for this later.

“I’m sorry, Levi,” you apologized as you leaned your elbows on the table and peeked around Seojun's large figure to look at him. “This tour is wearing me out minute by minute. What was your question?

The Dutch boy waved off your apology and flashed you a sincere smile.

“I was just curious as to what happened,” he answered, gesturing towards your arm. You glanced down at your wrist, inspecting the white plaster cast that wrapped around your fingers and thumb and stretched up towards your elbow.

You swallowed roughly and barely avoided Seojun’s hard glare as he waited for you to answer.

“Oh, uhm, I fractured it the other night after Seojun and I left the venue.” you lied smoothly. Levi’s eyebrows raised in surprise at your words.

“How the heck did you manage to do that?” he questioned. His English was choppy, but his accent was clean and smooth and filled with concern. You let out an awkward laugh and tried to come up with something, anything that wouldn’t throw suspicion onto the culprit behind your injury.

“Well, you know Amsterdam,” Seojun jumped in for you. He dared to send you a playful wink as he squeezed you closer to his body as if the incident that led to your hand in a cast was nothing more than a light-hearted accident.

Asshole.

“The walkways around the canal are extremely uneven and y/n here is extremely clumsy.” Seojun finished before he casually popped a fry into his mouth.

“He’s right,” Juho then added with a laugh, clapping Seojun on the back. “This is the same girl who managed to sprain her ankle so badly coming down the hotel stairs back in Texas that she had to wear a boot for three weeks while simultaneously nursing two broken fingers and a cracked rib back to health.”

Levi, Kymmy, Seojun, and the rest of the people occupying your table began to laugh at Juho’s story, and you had to force a smile on your face to keep yourself from suddenly crying. The story Seojun had fed Juho the first night he got physical sounded so unbelievable coming from Juho’s mouth that it nearly drove you mad.

Surely they didn’t buy it, right?

Surely, at least one of them would see through the irony and figure out what had actually happened. Nobody trips over nothing and falls down a flight of stairs all by herself, right?

Part of you hoped one of the people who sat around the bar table with you and Seojun would put the pieces together and call Seojun out, but another part of you hoped to God nobody would. You could not handle another confrontation right now, not without pissing off Seojun even more than you already had.

You let the conversation take a turn as everyone began discussing their childhood injuries and the embarrassing stories behind them.

It was supposed to be a celebratory night out for another successful event with just you, your boyfriend, and his best friend, but Juho was adamant about meeting with Kymmy, a girl he’d been talking to online for months now, and wherever Kymmy went, her brother Levi followed.

You were ecstatic to meet Kymmy and her brother at first and let them join in on the celebration, but once she started flirting with Seojun, and once Levi’s other friends conveniently showed up and invited themselves to sit down, you felt a ball of anxiety pool in the bottom of your stomach.

Nothing good ever came out of Seojun drinking alongside a pretty woman and a bunch of males. A fight was bound to break out between someone at some point, and you didn’t want to stick around any longer to find out who it would be between.

You were tired, your wrist hurt, and your social battery was running on empty.

You just wanted to go home.

Not back to the hotel room, but home home.

With a sigh you leaned back against the high bar chair you were sitting on and finished off the glass of tequila you were holding. Seojun turned his head to look at you briefly and you sent him a small, timid smile before turning your head downwards, and that’s when you saw it.

Underneath the table, out of sight from everyone else, Kymmy’s foot was running slowly and seductively up Seojun’s leg and into his crotch and then back down again, over and over while she let loose a high-pitched giggle at whatever it was Juho was saying. The giggle was as fake as Seojun’s love for you was, and you repressed the urge to roll your eyes.

Instead, you quickly averted your gaze, feeling embarrassed that you’d witnessed something so intimate, your brain not fully grasping the fact that this intimacy was shared between your boyfriend and another girl.

That’s when everything began to fall apart.

A second later, Seojun’s phone vibrated on the table between the two of you, bringing your attention to it involuntarily.

You didn’t mean to look. You didn’t mean to see whoever it was that had texted him. You just so happened to be glancing in the direction of where he’d end up holding his phone up, swiping his thumb across the screen to read the message that was sent to him.

You felt your stomach drop to when you read Sookie’s name at the top of the messaging app followed by a red heart and a pair of lips. When your eyes dropped down and found a picture of her naked chest staring back at you, staring back at Seojun, you thought you were going to throw up.

Seojun bit his lip and let out a breath, a small smile of appreciation forming on his lips as he openly stared at the picture. He didn’t even bother trying to hide it from you. Instead, he took his time typing back a long, detailed reply of what he was going to do to her later tonight before he locked his phone once more and set it back on the table, face down.

When he turned his head to glance back at you to see if you had been watching, you were quick to avert your eyes to one of the TVs that hung from the ceiling, watching the soccer game that was on. You bit your lip in an attempt to look focused on the game, but really you were just trying not to openly cry.

Here Seojun sat, one girl practically jerking him off with her foot, another openly sexting him and sending him nudes, all while his arm was secured tightly, possessively around his girlfriend's waist. Kymmy, you suspected, but you didn’t think Sookie would be indulging him too.

You trusted her. More than anybody else on this damn tour, and all this time, she was no better than Seojun.

A ball of emotions suddenly slammed into your chest so hard you physically winced.

Anger.

Disbelief.

Sadness.

Shock.

However, panic overpowered everything else.

In a moment, the air around you grew thick, heavy with unspoken tension as you became way too hyper-aware of everything around you. Each breath you took was like a battle against the invisible weight that was suddenly pressing down on your chest. Your heart felt as if it were frantically drumming through every vein, every nerve ending in your body.

The clinking of glasses repeatedly being set down onto wooden tabletops. The sound of silverware scraping against dated dishes. The whispers of conversations that filled the old tavern around you. The quiet voice of the on-screen announcer as the soccer game continued on in the background.

It was all too much.

The bell that hung by the entrance, chiming noisily each time a patron entered and left, ringing in your ears so loudly it felt like you had suddenly got tinnitus. The loud cheering that erupted as someone on-screen had scored a point. The fucking liquid being poured from old spouts and filling thick glasses at the bar across the room. You heard all of it all at once, and the feeling of anxiety clawed at your insides.

Your vision began to blur, the edges becoming hazy as if the world was slipping out of focus, out of your grasp. The dark, warm earthy tones of the old bar that had you feeling safe and secure a moment before now began to slip away, leaving everything in a monochrome haze. Time felt warped, seconds stretching into eternities while minutes turned to fleeting seconds.

The room spun, a dizzying whirlwind of sensations as nausea churned in the pit of your stomach, a sickening knot that tightened with each passing moment. A rush of heat then flooded your body, beads of sweat visibly breaking out across your skin like tiny droplets of panic. Every nerve felt electrified, tingling with the sense of absolute dread that surged through your body like wildfire. 

You didn’t even notice the change in your breathing until Seojun’s nails once again dug into your skin, this time drawing blood.

“Will you cut it out? You’re making a scene.” he snapped, not bothering to lower his voice anymore. You could barely hear him over the sound of your own heartbeat now filling your ears, silently screaming at you to LEAVE. 

You tried to take a deep, calming breath, tried to hold it in to stop the panic from seeping deeper into your bones, but it was no use. You only hiccuped as a single tear fell from your eye.

You suddenly felt everyone's gaze on you, and you bent your head down to wipe at another tear that had managed to escape to try and hide what you were feeling.

Then, a round of applause broke out across the bar as the TVs all showed replays of the game-winning goal that was scored, and that was your final breaking point.

Without so much of a word, you pulled Seojun’s dirty fingers off of you and slipped from the table. Juho was the only one to call after you as the room continued to grow fuzzy, your fingers beginning to tingle as your breathing started coming out in short gasps. The bartender gave you a concerned look and reached out to grab your arm, but you managed to slink away from her touch and pushed yourself outside into the cool evening air.

As soon as your feet took you past the fence that lined the property of the bar, you fell to your knees, your hands gripping the cobblestone so hard your wrist throbbed and your knuckles turned white. You could feel your heart threatening to explode from your chest as memories of your relationship with Seojun flew through your mind like a short film.

Every time he hit you.

Every time he yelled at you.

Every time he touched you.

Every time he scolded you for bothering him, the names he would call you over the smallest inconveniences, the way he’d manipulate you into staying with him even after all the shit he did.

It was too much.

You could barely get enough oxygen in your lungs to take a deep breath and your hands were losing feeling. You hardly heard the door behind you open and close over the sound of your cries that you didn’t realize were leaving your body, the cries that were loud enough to wake the whole neighborhood at this ungodly hour.

Blinded by the waves of tears that rocked you, your hands reached out to grasp for something, anything to help you steady yourself, ground yourself.

No.

Not something, but someone.

The sound of Jisung’s voice lulling your heart back to a normal pace when you’d seek his comfort after a nightmare. The way he would subtly pinch your elbow when the panic came in waves while you were out in public together. The way he would squeeze your hand and help bring you back down when you found yourself floating away, getting lost in your darkened thoughts. The feeling of Jisung's body enclosing around yours in a hug so soft and so safe you felt nothing more than at peace.

You needed that sense of security, now more than ever as you searched blindly for the anchor you’d grown so accustomed to but stupidly left behind.

You’ve never felt so completely and utterly alone.

So alone that you nearly fainted when warm, steady fingers landed tenderly across your back. Your body froze despite the panic that was still coursing through your veins.

There was absolutely no fucking way.

Your head snapped up and whipped around so fast you thought you’d break your neck. The shock you felt when you saw who had come to your rescue almost knocked the anxiety out of your system. 

“Juho?” you barely managed, “Wha-wha-what are you do-doing out here?” you hiccuped in surprise at Seojun’s best friend.

Juho just shushed you and pulled you into a tight hug that was gentle and soothing. His thumbs rubbed circles into your back as he rocked you back and forth slowly, not caring if anyone walked by and saw you two sitting on the ground like this. Feeling his heartbeat against your chest, and the smell of the cinnamon soap he bought not too long ago, your heart began to settle, slowly but surely.

A long moment had passed before Juho finally spoke.

“Are you okay, y/n?” he asked softly, not bothering to pull away from you.

You squeezed your eyes shut, causing tears to fall down your cheeks and onto the fabric of his shirt. Then, you clenched your jaw so hard you were surprised your teeth didn’t break.

“Why did you come after me, Juho?” you asked quietly. Your body wanted to pull away from him but your heart longed for the warmth, strength, and security you’d been deprived of for so long. He reminded you of Changbin in a way. Even though his muscles weren’t nearly as big or comforting as Binnies, you still felt safe in his embrace.

The thought made you tense up again.

You never felt safe with anyone who wasn’t your immediate friend group.

Now you were slightly on edge.

“You were having a panic attack,” Juho stated, clearly confused at your question. It wasn’t every day someone willingly helped you through one of your panic attacks. Someone who was best friends with the reason behind it, to begin with.

“And?” you prompted.

“And I don’t like seeing people suffer,” he shrugged. 

The both of you were quiet for a moment, seemingly both lost in your own thoughts before he spoke up again. His body tensed around you, as if he was preparing himself to get hit for whatever it was he was going to say next.

“You’ve been suffering for a while now, haven’t you?”

Your eyebrows raised at his question and finally pulled away from his warm body, staring at him in utter shock.

“I’m sorry?” you asked, unsure whether you heard him right. Juho sighed and lifted his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, but you flinched away from him quickly, causing his hand to fall back to his side. His eyes look strained and sad.

“I’m not an idiot y/n. I know what’s been happening.” You could tell he was trying to be reassuring and gentle with you, but he spoke to you as if you were nothing more than a small child who needed his help, and this caused you to become defensive out of habit.

“You don’t know anything, Juho.” you ground out between clenched teeth as you tried to pull out of his grasp completely and stand up. However, his hold was firm and you didn’t get very far.

“I know Seojun, and I know the type of guy he is. I know he plays women left and right and then tosses them aside like trash,” he explained.

An exasperated breath left your mouth, followed by a humorless chuckle.

“And you’re okay with that?” you question, your tone hard despite the tears that were still filling your eyes.

Juho shook his head and also let out a humorless laugh.

“I’m not. At all. But he’d been my best friend since we were seven years old. It’s hard to give up on that kind of friendship, you know?”

You scoffed at his words and pulled away from his embrace, thankful that he released now you without a fight,

“I don’t actually. None of my friends are abusive assholes like he is,” you spoke without thinking. You pulled yourself off of his lap and up onto your feet, dusting off your jeans in an attempt to straighten yourself out and look semi-presentable to anyone who would pass by. You didn’t want anyone to know you had just broken down the way you had, but the mascara tears staining your cheeks would say otherwise.

“So he has been abusing you,” Juho spoke quietly as he followed suit and stood up next to you. His hands came up to grasp your elbows, but you pulled away from him just as quickly.

“You didn’t think I actually fell down a flight of stairs, did you?” you snapped as you stepped away from him and grabbed your bag off the ground where it had fallen in your haste to get away from the bar.

“Well, I was hoping my suspicions were wrong,” Juho answered as he scratched the back of his neck and ran his hand through his blonde hair.

“Well, I’m sorry they weren’t.” you shot back in a clipped tone. You felt bad for taking your anger out on the innocent man before you, but now that the panic had disappeared, you didn’t know what to do with all the adrenaline you had left over.

“Why are you apologizing for him?” Juho then asked, his voice hard. You could feel the glare he was shooting into the side of your head, and that alone caused your already fragile state to break once more.

“I don’t know, Juho! Fuck! Maybe because he’s an asshole? Maybe because you’ve had to put up with him for nearly twenty years? Because he’s a piece of shit friend for going after the girl you like?” you offered.

Juho shook his head and put a hand up to stop you.

“You don’t have to apologize for that either, y/n. It’s not your fault. Kymmy has been nothing more than a test”

You raised an eyebrow at him as you wiped at the tears of makeup that were sticking to your face. “A test?” you asked in disbelief.

Juho shrugged again. “Yeah. A test. One to see if my best friend was a big enough piece of shit to openly go after the girl I like. And he is. Case closed.” He was trying to act nonchalant as if Kymmy was nothing more than just a girl, but you could see the sadness in his eyes. He really liked Kymmy, and she played him so well. 

The anger you felt began to slowly dissolve when you caught that look of regret in his eyes too. His tongue was prodding thoughtfully at his cheek, his eyes far away, as if he was recounting the past six months of flirting he and Kymmy had done through texts and phone calls. 

You couldn’t help but feel a little bit responsible for his heartbreak.

“You don’t have to be a hero, Juho.” your voice came out soft. “I know you liked her a lot.”

Juho waved off your words with another shrug of his shoulders before he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. 

“It is what it is,” he said as he kicked aimlessly at a loose stone in the ground. “I’m just glad I dodged a bullet with that one.”

Silence fell upon the two of you as you both then got lost in your thoughts once more. Juho looked as if he was debating whether he should go back inside and sit through the torture of seeing Kymmy and Seojun flirt openly with one another, or if he should just leave. Meanwhile, you got momentarily lost in the thought of what would’ve happened if you had just stayed with Jisung the night before you left.

Would you have gotten together? Or would you have talked more thoroughly about the pros and cons of it all and decided to stay friends? Would you have moved into the house, into his room, or would he have moved in with you? Would you have finally gone on tour with all of them, or would you be left behind once again with yourself and your thoughts? 

You liked to believe everything would’ve worked out. That you and Jisung would’ve gotten together and it would’ve been happily ever after for the two of you, but you couldn’t help but think that this entire tour had been a lesson. A mandatory one at that.

The distance had sucked, and the fight with Jisung was even worse, but spending all this time away and having no contact with him whatsoever only heightened your feelings for the man who had been your best friend for so many years. You thought leaving and getting away would help the both of you get over your infatuation with one another, but it only seemed to make the feelings stronger.

Maybe if you had just stayed home, broken up with Seojun, and stayed with the man you were meant to be with, Seojun wouldn’t have felt the need to go the lengths he had. Maybe he wouldn’t have had the urge to go after his best friend's girl in an attempt to make his own girlfriend jealous because he wouldn’t have a girlfriend to make jealous, to begin with.

You shook your head and tried to keep your irrational thoughts at bay.

A lesson learned was a lesson learned, but that didn’t mean you could start blaming yourself for everything that happened. You wouldn’t. It would only destroy you, and you knew that.

After a couple of long, silent moments of you and Juho just standing in the open, you looked at him, eyeing him softly.

“What are you going to do now?” you asked. The eyes that seemed so far away then zoned back into the present, and Juho blinked once before he gave you a knowing smile.

“What are you going to do now?” he shot back.

“Honestly, I just want to go home,” you told him with an exhausted breath. There was a bench a few feet away that you plopped yourself down onto, deciding that you’d rather wait outside until everyone was done with their drinks than go back inside the bar for the rest of the night out.

“Then go,” Juho replied as he bent to sit down next to you, seemingly making the same decision you did.

You let another huff of disbelief leave your mouth as you shook your head, looking out onto the Amsterdam canal in wonder. “I can’t.” 

Puffs of cloud seeped from Juho’s mouth as he exhaled into the cool evening air. He shook his head once and turned to give you a look of confusion.

“Why can’t you?”

You shrugged your shoulders and leaned back against the cool wood of the bench. “There’s no point. There's only two months left of this stupid tour, and Sookie advised me to stay. Apparently, the number of fans coming to the rest of the events for me specifically has nearly tripled in size.” you explained. 

Juho snorted despite the uneasiness that still sifted through the air around the two of you. “Sounds like she’s just after the money.”

It was your turn to snort before you spoke without thinking. “Yeah, that and Seojun’s dick.”

Juho winced at your poor attempt at a joke.

“I’m sorry y/n.”

You waved him off and mimicked his choice of words from earlier, a small smile on your face. “You have nothing to apologize for.” 

“And you have no obligation to stay.” Juho then gave you a pointed look, causing you to sigh.

“I can’t just leave Juho-.”

“Of course you can,” he interrupted with a serious look on his face.

You rolled your eyes at him. 

“And how would you like me to do that?”

A small grin crept onto his features.

“By packing your bags and getting on the next flight home.”

You shook your head again as a small laugh escaped your throat. Despite the physical similarities between Juho and Changbin, he was definitely giving off menacing vibes; he and Seungmin would have been great friends.

“No, I mean how am I supposed to leave? I can’t leave the tour when so many people are relying on me to be here.” You couldn’t quite understand why your brain wasn’t taking the easy way out and agreeing with Juho to just leave, but it was irritating the crap out of you the way your mind was still finding excuses to stay. “Think of the fans.”

Juho’s gaze on you turned hard and his lips thinned. He looked as if he was on the verge of lecturing you.

“Your health is more important than some stupid tour, y/n. Besides, once the boss finds out about Seojun and Sookie’s relationship, the entire tour will go down in flames.”

This caught your attention, your ears now perking up like you imagine a dog would as your eyes shot to Juho.

“Wait, Sookie isn’t the one in charge?” you asked.

Juho chuckled and shook his head.

“God, no. She doesn’t need that kind of power, are you kidding me? She works for the company that published Seojun and I. Once the boss finds out about their secret relationship, it’s over for the both of them.” he paused briefly when your eyebrows raised in shock at the news. “Yeah, it’s honestly probably best for you to leave sooner rather than later so you don’t get caught up in the crosshairs. The last thing you need on your hands is a scandal.”

You nodded in understanding before your mouth then stupidly opened itself and babbled again, not allowing your brain time to stop it.

“Shouldn’t I stay and attest to it if they need me to?”

You wanted to smack yourself for yet again trying to find a reason to stay but thankfully, Juho’s clenched jaw and scowl hit just the same.

“I will take of it. You go home,” he assured you.

You fell quiet for a moment as Juho’s words set in. All this time you were waiting, begging for someone to come along and find you, someone to see through the act Seojun had conjured up and help you escape him and his antics. You never in a million years thought his best friend would be the one to do it.

“Why are you helping me?” you asked suddenly, your voice small and unsure as you stared into Juho’s dark, kind eyes. A smile pulled at the side of his lips and he licked them once before he scratched the back of his neck and answered you.

“Because Felix would kick my ass if I didn’t,” he answered softly.

Your eyes grew wide again at the revelation.

“Wait, you-”

“Nine years of taekwondo together. I left after an injury landed me in the hospital, but he went on for another three. If he found out you were in this situation and I didn’t help to get you out, he’d probably kill me with a roundhouse kick to the skull.”

For the first time in what felt like months, a genuine laugh had bubbled from your throat before you could stop it. Juho joined in, the two of you laughing like everything in the world was okay and you weren’t on the verge of another panic attack at the thought of leaving and letting so many people down.

“I didn’t even know you two knew each other until Felix had texted when we arrived and told me to make sure Seojun takes you to the Royal Palace. I knew then that I needed to help you out of here, I just didn’t know how. Seojun never allowed me to talk to you one-on-one either. Probably afraid I’d snatch you up.” Juho then explained in a thoughtful breath. 

Another laugh left your mouth at the irony, and you couldn’t find it in yourself to stop. If you stopped laughing, you’d probably start crying again, and you didn’t know if you could survive another round of waterworks right now.

“Ironic, but true.” you mused. 

Juho wrapped his arm around your shoulder in a friendly gesture, and you relaxed with ease now that you knew Juho was one of the good ones. Felix wouldn’t have texted him if he wasn’t. You were just glad, thankful to finally have someone on your side.

“Stop worrying about what would make everyone else happy, y/n. At the end of the day, your happiness is what should matter most. And you won’t feel that happiness again until you get home. So go.” he urged on. “It’s time to go.”

You nodded your head slowly, almost habitually, as if leaving was now suddenly the easiest answer in the world. Because it was.

Juho was right.

It was time to go home.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg I'm so glad I finally got this stupid chapter written and posted. I absolutely HATED this chapter the first time I posted it back on my old blog, so I'm so happy I was able to go back again and change it for you all.. I am so much happier this time around with the outcome.

Thank you all for being ever so patient with me these last few weeks. I've fallen into a bit of a depressive pit with some personal shit going on, but I'm slowly on the mend. I want to get the rest of this mini-series done and posted so I can finally get back to working on The Blackened Heart,

Thank you again for reading and enjoying! Feedback is always apprciated!

I'll see you soon for Part Four! <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @sungshineworld @collisvng @ihrtlix @queen-in-the-shadows

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[itsseohannbin]

• Like A Volcano | Part Four | •

Han Jisung Mini Series

© itshannjisung, 2024

♡ itsseohannbins masterlist ♡

Series Masterlist

Chapter Genre: Angst⚡️A lil but of Fluff?💕

-Bestfriends to Lovers Trope-

Summary: being best friends with the kings of kpop always has its ups and downs, and when you're offered a spot on the next European-American book tour to promote the publishing of your new book, there's one kpop king in particular who just doesn't want you to go.

Pairing: Idol!Han Jisung x Female Reader x Bestfriend Skz

** Includes two of my own original female characters, both whom are romantically involved with two of the members. Chan x Jo / Minho x Ash **

Warnings: Swearing. mentions of pregnancy. comments about committing murder. mentions of injuries sustained from domestic abuse (bruising. a fractured wrist & old cigarette burns.) mentions of Jisung being a whore. Chan calls Jisung a whiny bitch. the boys do not use honorifics. I think thats it? If I missed any, lmk!!

Word Count: 5.9k

**this chapter is slightly changed & revised**

Enjoy!

“I’m going to end his fucking bloodline.” Jo growled as she stomped past you and made her way towards one of the attendees desks.

“Hello to you too?” you responded in question as your arms fell out in confusion, your purse and carry-on falling to the floor next to your two suitcases. Chan burst through the airport doors a second later looking worried and every bit weary as he chased after Jo.

“Dude, what the hell?” you greeted him with an annoyed glare. “I thought I told you to keep her in the car.”

“Yeah, well, she jumped out before Min even had a chance to park.” He let out an irritated breath as he too walked right by where you stood. You turned your body and watched as he reached out to grab Jo by the wrist, stopping her in her tracks abruptly.

She whipped her head around and glared at her boyfriend in pure rage.

“Chris, I love you, but please, for the love of God, let me go before I do something I’m gonna’ regret.” she seethed, her eyes burning into his fiercely. You cleared your throat and called out to her.

“Jo, please, don’t do anything stupid.” you begged. You loved her, but you were tired and just wanted to go home.

Her eyes flickered to yours and narrowed into slits as the glare she was giving Chan turned to land on you.

“Anything stupid?” she asked, disbelief clear in her tone. “I’m not doing anything stupid. I’m going to kill him. I’ve never been more sure of something in my entire life.” she hissed. A look of confusion and mock betrayal crossed over Chan's features as he let out an awkward chuckle and attempted to ease the tension that was palpable in the air around you guys.

“Well, that’s just offensive, Love, I’m standing right here.” he spoke with a nervous smile. Jo glanced back at him with her jaw clenched and her hands balled into fists.

“Now is not the time for your fucking nonsense Christopher. I need to do something!” she growled again before she turned and tried to fling herself towards the attendees desk. Luckily, Chan was quick with his movements, and with a heavy sigh, he pulled her closer to him, trying to wrap his arms around her to help soothe the anger that tore through her system.

“Love, there’s nothing we can do.” he spoke calmly and softly, but the twitch in his jaw told you he was just as angry as Jo was, if not, moreso. 

Seojun fucked up, and if it wasn’t for him being the only one who could calm down Jo and talk her through her moments of anger like this, Chan would be reacting the same way. But someone needed to be strong for the rest of them, and of course, as always, it was Chan.

“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Jo snapped as she pulled herself out of his soft embrace and continued her trek towards the attendees desk. The two girls who stood at the counter had been staring at her outburst in shock and one of them backed away as Jo approached. The other calmly smiled and nervously asked how they could help her.

“Get me on your next flight out to Amsterdam. Immediately.” she demanded, slamming her credit card onto the desk so hard it made the two girls flinch away from her.

Chan glanced back at you helplessly with his hands out, almost as if to ask what the hell he should do. You rolled your eyes and gestured towards your bestfriend.

 “Dude, stop her!” you called before he nodded and rushed to her side. He started to peel the credit card out from Jo’s grasp while apologizing profusely to the two poor unsuspecting women in red uniforms.

Just as you let out a breath of relief and turned to grab your things from the floor, you heard footsteps rushing towards you, and when you looked up, you barely had enough time to grab Minho by the arm and halt him as he charged to join Jo on her mission.

“Min, stop.” Your voice was firm as you struggled against him, your feet moving backwards as he continued to pull forwards. 

It took him a second to even realise you had caught him, and when he did, he looked back at you with a murderous twinkle in his dark eyes; one that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. If you didn’t know him as well as you did, you’d be shitting yourself from his scowl alone.

“Y/n. Let go of me.” he demanded, his voice so low and dangerous it almost made you loosen your grip. However, you knew there was no way in hell Chan would be able to fight off both he and Jo from cornering the poor attendees, so you squeezed harder with your good hand and met his hard glare with one of your own.

“Minho. Enough.”

Minho knew he could’ve easily pulled himself from your grasp, but after glancing down and seeing the cast on your arm, he took a deep breath and turned his body fully towards you, his voice easing as he willed himself to relax. 

“Look what that douchebag has done to you.” his voice broke as he inspected your arm carefully, his fingers running along the bruises that poked out from under the hard plaster. “He’s going to pay for this.” 

“Minho, hey.” you called for his attention and after a few silent seconds, his eyes landed back on yours. The anger was still there, but his sorrow overpowered it easily. “I know it looks bad, but I’m okay.”

Minho took another deep breath as his fingers traced higher up your arm, feeling for any more injuries beneath the sleeve of your t-shirt. He stopped short when his thumb traced along the place where your arm and torso met, running over the small bundle of scabs that sat there. 

Immediately, he lifted your sleeve as his eyes turned towards the injuries and you knew based on the look on his face that he knew exactly what the injuries were from. His jaw clenched as the fire returned to his eyes, but before he could mention anything about the old cigarette burns, you took his hand and squeezed it.

“I’m okay, Min. I’m here and I’m breathing and I’m alive.” you reassured him. 

At your last words, Minho blinked away the tears that were forming along his waterline and he pulled you roughly into a hug, burying his face into your hair.

“I hate you.” he mumbled.

You sighed into his embrace, feeling your body finally relax for the first time in what felt like centuries. 

You were home and you were safe.

Seojun couldn’t hurt you anymore.

“I love you too, Min.”

As you squeezed your arms tightly around him, your eyes fell onto Ash, who had finally managed to come through the airport doors looking very much out of breath, and very much… pregnant?!

“Somebody remind me to get those two idiots leashes the next time we’re at the pet store.” she huffed as she practically waddled to where you and Minho stood. Her belly was nearly the size of a volley-ball, and she looked absolutely ethereal despite the dirty look she was sending her fiancé.

“Ash! What the hell is this?” you squealed in disbelief as you pulled away from Minho and stepped forward to hug her, Jo and Chan momentarily forgotten.

“Oh, don’t even get me started on this thing. I swear to God, she’s already taking after her father. She’s such a bully.” she complained around a giggle before she hugged you tightly back. “Welcome home, Babe.”

“How long has this been a thing for?” you asked then as you pulled away and inspected her adorable belly.

“Almost eight months now.” she responded with a loving smile as she followed your gaze down to her bulging stomach. You instantly reached a hand out and smacked Minho’s arm as he pulled Ash against his side and planted a kiss to her cheek.

“Assholes! How come you didn’t tell me?” you shot at the both of them. They both blushed and smiled at one another before Ash beamed back at you.

“We wanted to wait and surprise you with your new-born niece when you came home from the tour.” 

You shook your head at them and pulled them both in for a quick tight hug as you congratulated them joyfully, however, the sweet moment was cut short when Jo’s voice echoed around you guys, bringing you all back down to reality. 

“Chris, please, let me go!” she cried as she tried to pull away from him again. His hands were wrapped firmly around her flailing wrists and he had bent his body to bring his face level with hers. His eyes held nothing but love and patience in them as he stared at her and spoke softly.

“Jo, please. Take a deep breath and relax before you have an asthma attack.” one of his hands let go of hers so he could reach up and cup her face, his thumb stroking her cheek gently. You didn’t realise Jo was crying until her body jolted around a hiccup as she tried to do what Chan instructed.

“I have to do something,” she spoke, her voice now small and broken. “She didn’t tell us. Why didn’t she tell us?” 

You felt your heart shatter upon seeing her this upset and you immediately went to her side. You grabbed her free hand, pulling her eyes off of Chans and onto you. 

“Hey,” you whispered, offering her a small smile while you rubbed your thumb across her knuckles. It was like she totally forgot you were even there. She stared at you flatly for a second before her eyes registered that you were here with her and that you were okay.

“Come on, let’s go talk in the car.” you spoke softly to her as Chan released her cheek and kissed the side of her head, his fingers slipping down to interlock with hers.

She sniffled and shook her head at your suggestion.

“I’m not leaving this airport unless it’s on the next flight out to Amsterdam so I can kick his ass into the next lifetime.” she pouted, though her feet automatically followed yours as you retreated back to Ash and Minho, away from the frightened and confused workers.

“It’ll be easier if you wait until he comes back to Korea so all ten of you can go after him at once.” you suggest, your body internally cringing at how easily you suggested it. Jo just glanced up at you with her big coffee-coloured eyes, a small smile forming on her freckled face.

“That’s actually a brilliant idea.” she whispered in awe as she let Chan and you guide her towards the airport doors. Minho had picked up your two suitcases and Chan grabbed your purse and carry-on from where they were sitting on the ground, handing them to you before you all exited the building into the bright morning sun.

“Thank you. I tend to have those from time to time.” you responded dryly as you hooked your arm through hers. You were mostly doing it to offer her comfort as she slowly calmed down, but a part of you was nervous that if you let her go, she’d turn around, run back inside and hop onto a plane before anyone could stop her.

Despite the way she charged angrily into the airport, you were happy that you decided to call her and Ash after your plane landed instead of grabbing a taxi back to your apartment. Seeing them made being home more real. 

Back in Amsterdam, after the whole incident at the bar, Juho had brought you back to the hotel the three of you were staying in and helped you pack your suitcase as quickly as possible. While you were getting changed and cleaning yourself up, he made a few phone calls and managed to get you onto the next flight schedule home. 

He had then driven you to the airport and dropped you off later that night, reassuring you he would take care of everything and that all you had to do was relax and get home safely.

The flight itself was a long one, nearly twelve hours to be exact, and even though you slept for most of it, you were still exhausted and drained from everything that happened to you.

Seojun didn’t even try to contact you once, which you were thankful for. Sookie attempted to call you, leaving messages after hearing the news from Juho, but you ignored every single one of them. 

It wasn’t until you were waiting for Ash and Jo and the boys to arrive to come pick you up did you get news from Juho that everything was being taken care of. A tweet would be made at the end of the week by the head of the tour company that there was a family emergency that had occurred and you were needed back home, thus claiming your absence for the rest of the tour.

He suspected the fans would respond well to the news as the tour company was planning on sending out refunds to anyone who wanted them, and he also informed you his company was already investigating Seojun and Sookie’s relationship. He estimated the tour would be cut short in a week or two and everyone would be sent home.

You were happy to hear about it, though the thought of Seojun returning back to Korea made you nervous. He had been to your apartment, the family house, and pretty much everywhere you and the gang would hang out. Even though he wasn’t contacting you now it didn’t mean he wouldn’t try once he was home. And boy would he be pissed.

“Does anyone else know I’m home yet?” you asked in an attempt to distract yourself before your thoughts could lead you down a dark path. The five of you were piled into Minho’s truck, the two boys in the front and the three girls in the back. Chan shook his head as he turned in the passenger seat to look at you.

“No. And we’re not going to tell any of them until you’re ready for them to know.” he assured you before Ash spoke up.

“Although you may not have a lot of time. Once that tweet goes out, they’re going to be asking questions.” she said. You nodded.

“I think I just need a day or two to recover and then I’ll come to the house and surprise everyone.” you smiled around a yawn before resting your head on Jo’s shoulder.

“Let one of us know and we can plan a little surprise party for them or something. I know they’ll all be so happy to see you.” Ash smiled as she leaned her head against your shoulder, the three of you looking squished yet comfortable together in the backseat.

You let out a sigh at her words, your brain disobeying you by thinking about the one person you wanted to see now more than anything, despite him probably never wanting to see you again.

“Not everyone. Not Jisung.” you barely whispered with a frown. Everyone heard you speak into the silence, and Chan turned his head around again to give you an encouraging grin.

“Especially Jisung,” he corrected.

Before you could argue with him, Minho cleared his throat and met your gaze in the rearview mirror.

“I have to warn you, though. Jisung’s been-'' he paused and thought about his next words carefully before speaking up, your interest piqued. “He’s been different.”

“Different how?” you questioned.

Minho let out a long breath, as if whatever it was he was going to say had been weighing on him for some time now.

“Well, in short, pre-debut Han Jisung has definitely made an appearance or two.... or six since you’ve been gone. He’s been mean…and irritating…and more than a little miserable.” Minho answered truthfully with a grimace.

“Well, when we actually get a chance to see him, that is.” Chan added. 

You glanced between the two boys with a quizzical look on your face, trying to figure out what they were saying when Ash let out a breath and spoke up for them.

“He moved himself into a hotel for the first three or four months you were gone. He came home before the tour started, but now that it’s ended, we don’t really see much of him anymore.” she spoke with a shrug and gave you an apologetic smile for whatever she was going to say next. “He goes out. A lot. Sometimes he won’t come home until morning when all of us are gathered around eating breakfast. Binnie and Min have tried asking where he goes at night, but he just ignores them and disappears into his room to work for a few hours before he goes out again.” 

“Honestly, he’s probably out whoring around somewhere. He’s certainly turned into one since we’ve been back.” Jo grunted from beside you before you could say anything.

Chan turned and sent her a disappointed look. “Okay now, Love, I wouldn’t go that far.”

Jo’s face scrunched up in disdain. 

“I would. He’s turned into a whore.”

“Jo, please.” Chan pleaded, his mouth set into a frown as he stared at her. “We talked about this.”

“What? I’m still not happy about what he did. Just because Seojun and his band of harlots now sit higher than him on my hitlist doesn’t mean I no longer want to kick his ass.” she grumbled, giving Chan a challenging look. 

You could practically see the way Chan was resisting an eyeroll at her words, so you jumped in before an argument could ensue between the two of them.

“What do you mean he’s turned into a whore?” you asked, the twist in your gut making you not even want an answer back.

Minho interjected and answered your question before Jo could, earning a glare from her in the rearview mirror.

“Well, post-debut Han Jisung has also made a slight appearance, though it’s not as bad as it used to be,” he explained as he drove.

Jo snorted from beside you.

“Not as bad? Dude, anytime we go out anywhere now we have to pull him off of some chick's mouth when it’s time to leave. Sounds a little slutty to me.”

Ash sighed and glanced around you so she could look at Jo.

“Yes, but we don’t have to worry about him going home with them, or him bringing them back to the house either. It’s not slutty unless he sleeps with them.” she reasoned. You felt more confused than before.

“What are you guys on about?”

Minho sighed as he clutched the steering wheel. “Whenever we go out to clubs or bars now, Ji just seeks out a pretty woman and stays glued to her side pretty much all night. They’re usually found dancing together or making out in dark corners when it’s time to go.”

Minho's words cut through you like a knife, slashing at your heart without mercy. Your breath then got caught in your throat for a second at the thought that swirled through your head. 

He's moved on.

“Oh.” you responded. Your voice sounded eerily calm, neutral, and expressionless despite the way the cracks in your already-shattered heart began to extend. “Awesome.”

“Look, it’s not as bad as you think.” Chan encouraged as he reached out to grab your hand reassuringly. “Seeing as I’m the one who usually has to go and detach him from these women, I can honestly say he’s not at all into it.” 

“You stand there and watch Jisung make out with women?” Jo suddenly interjected, her angry behavior now turned bratty and annoyed. Chan granted her a quick glare before he shook his head and rubbed at his eyes.

“Jesus, Jo, no. I don’t stand there and watch him. I’m just saying, in the seconds it takes for me to walk up to them, I’ve noticed based on his body language that he’s not into it.``

Silence filled the vehicle suddenly as the two of them stared each other in the eye, both challenging one another to speak. You felt a wave of discomfort wash over you when no one else decided to break the tension that was suddenly filling the car.

Ash and Minho looked unbothered, as if they were used to this switch in behavior by now, but you were having trouble wrapping your head around the sudden change in dynamic.

No less than twenty minutes ago Chan was holding her as she cried into his arms, soothing her and helping her calm down before she gave herself a hernia, and now they were glaring at one another as if Jo was actually pissed that he stopped her from leaving on a plane back at the airport.

You swallowed roughly and tried to alleviate some of the stress that clouded the air surrounding you.

“Not into it, how?” you asked quietly. Chan ignored you briefly and addressed Jo with a certain dominance you never noticed he had before.

“Are you done?” he asked casually, his brows lifted expectantly. Jo bit her cheek, her brown eyes widening as a frown of regret spread across her face. She nodded, leaving you even more confused as to what the hell was going on. 

“Sorry Chris.” she apologised before giving him a small smile. Chan smiled back and you felt like you suddenly had whiplash. 

What the fuck was happening?

“To answer your question Bunny, Ji never actually touches any of the women he meets.” Chan started to explain as his attention turned back to you. You blinked, wondering if you had just imagined the entire ordeal, but Minho’s small chuckle proved you didn’t.

“While these girls have their hands all over him, scratching up his arms and pulling at his hair, his hands stay planted on whatever objects he’s pushed them up against. Anytime they try to pull him against them, he’ll resist. Anytime they ask to take him home, he’ll stop what he’s doing, turn around and leave them high and dry. It’s like he’s looking for a mental distraction, not a physical one.”

“Yeah,” Minho added onto Chan's tangent as he pulled up to a red light. “He hasn’t been with anyone since the night you left, and the only reason he went through with that hook-up was because he let his emotions take over. He said he didn’t even enjoy himself because he was too busy thinking about you.”

You blinked once at Minho's honesty, feeling a blush cover your cheeks at how casually he brought up Jisungs sex life.

“Why would he do that?” you asked. Minho raised a brow while Chan gave you an expressionless look. Ash even let out a laugh from beside you.

“Oh, come on Bunny. You know why.”

“He loves you.”

“You big dumb idiot.” 

The three of them all laughed while you crossed your arms and let out a huff of frustration at their claims.

“Well, he sure has a funny way of showing it,” you mumbled, reminiscing back to how over the last year and a half, you hadn’t heard from him once.

Jo rolled her eyes and exhaled roughly.

“It's not like it’s intentional.” she finally gave in to the Jisung talk despite wanting to be mad at him still for all the crap he did. “And I guarantee if he knew you were back, he’d never leave your side again.”

“Why don’t you join us tonight?” Ash piped in then with excitement. “We’re going to The Basement for a couple of drinks and some dancing. I know the boys would be happy to see you.”

The four of them all looked at you in anticipation at Ash’s invitation, causing you to bite your lip nervously. It would be nice to surprise the guys and see everyone again. It’d be even nicer to get some drinks in you and dance all the stress away with your friends, but you were tired.

It was a long flight, and you still felt so much stress and anxiety and downright exhaustion from fleeing Seojun and the tour itself. You didn’t think you had the energy in you to go out clubbing tonight, no matter how enticing it sounded.

“I don’t know. I don’t think I’m ready to see Ji yet.” you told them all honestly.

Ash elbowed you playfully in the ribcage while she wiggled her eyebrows.

“I bet he’s ready to see you.” she teased.

You laughed and shook your head at her before Minho suddenly spoke up once more.

“Lemme ask you a question, Bunny.”

He had pulled up to the front of your apartment block and turned off the car abruptly before he unbuckled his seat belt and turned to look at you head on. Everyone's attention was on him as a serious look settled onto his face, and you felt nervous as his eyes found yours.

“Do you still love him?”

That was the stupidest question he could’ve asked you. Despite everything that happened between the two of you the night before you left, despite all the shit you endured over the course of the tour with Seojun and Sookie and everything in between, despite the very clear, very painful absence in your life and in your heart, your answer always remained the same. 

“More than anything else in the world.” You answered without hesitation, tears springing to your eyes. After all this time apart, not speaking to each other and not seeing each other on a daily basis, your heart only longed for him more. 

You searched for him around every corner, looked for him in every crowded room, listening for his voice everywhere you went.  You reached out for his hand every time you felt anxious, hovered over his contact info in your phone every time you felt lonely, dreamt of him holding you every time you felt homesick.

He was a constant in your life even without him being in it at all.

“More than anything else in the world.” You repeated quietly, mostly to yourself as that realisation hit you like a bucket of ice cold water.  

He was the one. 

He was your person. 

Even when you left to indulge yourself in what you thought would be a perfect romance with Seojun, your heart ached for him. 

He was the one you loved. 

He was the one who made you laugh until your stomach hurt and your bladder was threatening to let go. He was the one who made you feel safe in his arms whenever a panic attack took over your body. He was the one who’s smile could brighten your whole day.

He was the one who loved you back without judgement, who never raised a hand your way when you spoke your feelings out loud, even if those feelings weren't what he wanted to hear.  He never gaslit you and manipulated you into loving him back.

He was everything to you and more.

And you needed him.

“Jisung would wait an eternity for you if he had to, but please, please don’t make him.” Chan spoke softly, pleadingly. You shifted your gaze from the centre console of Minho's truck to him. “He’s been such a whiny bitch since you left and I can’t take anymore of it.”

The smile on Chan's face told you he wasn’t serious about the last part, that he was just trying to make you smile, which he succeeded in. 

“Sounds pretty on brand of him.” You joked back, wiping at your eyes. You were so tired of crying. “I don’t know guys. I don’t think I’m ready to jump into something else right now. Or ever honestly. Seojun really fucked me up.” you then admitted.

Minho gave you a sad sigh.

“We understand Bunny, we understand completely. And you know we’d never pressure you into something you didn’t want to do. We just want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy.”

You nodded at his words as you wiped at your eyes once more.

“I know. Thank you Min. I know what happened with Seojun wasn’t my fault. Not completely anyways. And I know I deserve to be happy, I just-” you paused and let a sigh of your own out. “I want to come out and see everyone and talk to Ji and figure out where he and I stand with everything, but I just need time.”

“Then we’ll give you all the time you need.”

 *****

The clock that sat above your TV tic-ticked noisily throughout the quiet apartment. It was half past ten o'clock and you were sitting on your couch, fiddling aimlessly with the fabric of the old blanket you had wrapped yourself in. 

Jo had texted you a couple hours prior saying they were all heading out to the club and asking if you needed a ride, but you declined. You decided you wanted to stay in for the night and get a good night's rest before you surprised the guys tomorrow.

But once you had showered and brushed your teeth and climbed into your familiar bed, you were wide awake. Every thought you could think of flew through your mind, and it left you feeling so anxious and claustrophobic that you decided to move to the couch to prevent an anxiety attack from happening in the small confines of your bedroom. 

You had a window cracked while soft music played through a speaker that sat in the corner. You had a cup of tea growing cold on the coffee table in front of you, but you were too entranced by the candle that flickered in the cool breeze to even reach out and take a drink.

You debated getting up and taking melatonin to help you fall asleep, but the kitchen that was less than ten steps away suddenly felt so far.

Your brain was too preoccupied with thoughts of Seojun.

He had finally texted you.

Nearly twenty-four hours later.

The texts started off tame. A simple ‘Where are you?’. You had rolled your eyes as you read it but you didn’t bother responding. It had taken him a full day to even realize you had left. Clearly, he didn’t care all that much about where you were.

You intentionally left him on read, hoping he’d feel the sting you were so familiar with by now, but it only made him more angry. Not long after, the spam texts flew in, blowing up your phone.

‘Where the fuck are you?’

‘Why is Juho telling me you’re back in Korea?’

‘Why did you leave?’

‘Are you two fucking?’

‘You unfaithful whore.’

‘When I get back home you and I are going to sit down and have a serious conversation about respect and your role in this relationship.’

‘Will you fucking answer me?’

‘Guess it was all a lie then, huh? You never really loved me at all, did you? Thanks for wasting my fucking time.'

The last one he sent was the one that caused you to silence your phone completely and leave it sitting on your bedside table.

‘see you soon, Darling'

A threat.

You knew he wouldn’t be back in Korea for another couple of weeks, you even texted Juho just to be sure, but the thought of being alone in your apartment now scared the shit out of you.

What if he showed up? Would he wait until you were alone and blindside you, or would your friends be willing to stay with you for a while until everything blew over?

The stress made you feel nauseous.

You thought about calling Chan or Minho and telling them about what Seojun had sent, but you knew it wouldn’t do any good. They were out having a good time and Seojun was still in the Netherlands. There was no reason to work everyone up over an subtle threat.

Still, you couldn’t help but suddenly feel helpless, defenseless in your apartment all alone. He seemed to linger in every dark corner, hiding behind every door you opened. Every creak and crack had you on edge. Every flickering shadow caused by the candle in front of you made your heart race.

It wasn’t fair.

How was it that Seojun got off so easily? How is it that you gave him nothing but love and devotion and now you were the one left suffering alone? Like the universe was out to get you for all the bad you’ve done while growing up. Though, of all the terrible acts you had inflicted upon yourself over the course of your lifetime, Seojun by far had been the worst form of self-harm.

Minho was right. 

You deserved more.

You deserved to be happy.

And the only one who would make you happy, the only one who ever made you happy, was Jisung.

It’s always been him.

And it was time to get him back.

That was the only thought in your mind as you abruptly threw the blanket off of your body, blew out the candle and charged for the door. You barely paused long enough to slip on a pair of shoes and grab your keys before you left, not even bothering to take a look in the mirror that sat beside the front door.

It wasn’t until you had reached the outdoors and a brisk wind hit you did you realise you didn’t change your clothes. Your hair was pulled back into the messiest bun, barely held together by a thin elastic, and your face was make-up free for the first time in what felt like months. You probably looked more than a little homeless to anyone passing by, however, your determination had complete control of your body and you feared you’d lose your nerve if you even thought about stepping foot back inside.

The oversized t-shirt that you stole from Jisungs closet years ago was distressed, worn out and littered with holes, but it hung low enough down your body to cover the pair of pyjama shorts you had pulled on after your shower. The warm, tight material of the shorts barely covered your butt, and it did little to protect you from the cold air, but with the adrenaline coursing through your veins so rapidly at your own bravery, you barely noticed it.

When you hailed a taxi and arrived outside the club, the line was still long despite how late in the evening it was. People were huddled together in groups as they laughed and joked with one another, trying to pass the time until they’d be let in. A group of girls at the front of the line eyed you as soon as your converse-covered feet hit the curb, sending you looks of disgust and disdain at your current state.

The thought of the club being filled with beautiful women who were all half dressed and liquored up, ready to dance with anyone and everyone made you feel uneasy and your resolve slipped as a wave of insecurity passed over you. But, the feeling was gone a second later when you thought about all the women inside who’d be vying for Jisungs attention. 

The thought of him hooking up with someone just through those front doors while you stood outside only made you move faster, approaching the bouncer with a committed smile.

Thanks to the weekly visits you and your friends used to make to the club, and the bouncer being a long time friend of Changbins, you were able to walk straight up and surpass everyone in line, earning glares from the people around you.

“I had a feeling I’d see you here tonight.” Dae-hyun laughed as he stepped aside to let you in. “You don’t exactly meet the dress code, but I guess it’s better than what ninety percent of the people inside are wearing.”

“I’m here on a mission, Dae,” you replied with a wave of his head, ignoring his teasing. You hardly caught his reply as you whipped past him, your feet sending you moving in double time.

“Chan said you’d probably show. You know where they are.”

And with that, you entered the club with only Jisung on your mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist || @sungshineworld @collisvng @ihrtlix @queen-in-the-shadows @cassidymb121

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[itsseohannbin]

• Like A Volcano | Part Two | •

Han Jisung Mini Series

© itshannjisung, 2024

♡ itsseohannbins masterlist ♡

Series Masterlist

Chapter Genre: Fluff 💕Angst⚡️Crack💥

-Bestfriends to Lovers Trope-

Summary: being best friends with the kings of kpop always has its ups and downs, and when you're offered a spot on the next European-American book tour to promote the publishing of your new book, there's one kpop king in particular who just doesn't want you to go.

Pairing: Idol!Han Jisung x Female Reader x Bestfriend Skz

** Includes two of my own original female characters, both whom are romantically involved with two of the members. Chan x Jo / Minho x Ash **

Warnings: angst. hurt. swearing. mentions of alcohol. mentions of marijuana use. implied intoxicated han jisung. harsh/vulgar language. yn's friends (jokingly) plot Han's death (i.e. homicide, staged accidental death, death by carbon monoxide, death by chloroform, premeditated murder). the boys do not use honorifics. best friend skz.

I think that's it. If I missed any, lmk!!

Word Count: 5.4k

**this chapter is unchanged**

Enjoy!

Walking out of Jisungs room that night was the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. Not only were you turning your back on your one shot with the man you’ve been in love with for years, silently breaking his and your heart in the process, but you also now had to face the reality of what the hell had just happened as you returned to the living room where your friends were.

It seemed the rest of the party stragglers had all gone home and it was just your friends left, all of them now helping clean. Changbin and Jeongin were collecting empty cans and bottles and storing them back into the original boxes for easier discarding, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Ash were sweeping and mopping the floors clean of dumped food and spilled drinks, and Chan and Jo were tackling the mass amounts of red cups that littered the room. Minho was most likely cleaning his kitchen domain, as he got pretty upset any time the kitchen turned into a mess.

Felix’s spider-senses must’ve been going off because he was at the bottom of the stairs as soon as you had appeared, staring up at you in concern. You had done your best to wipe the mascara off your face as you rushed from Jisung's room, but based on the look Felix had, you knew you hadn’t done the greatest job of hiding your sadness.

“Bunny, what’s wrong?” he asked not so quietly, causing everyone to stop what they were doing and turn to look your way. You felt heat rush to your cheeks and you tried to swallow back the lump that still sat idly in your throat. 

How the hell were you supposed to explain what had just happened when you were still processing the events that had taken place in the last thirty minutes or so?

“Nothing Felix. I’m just really tired. I think I’m going to call it a night.” You settled with a tiny white lie.

Felix looked at you unconvincingly, but you paid him no mind as your eyes went searching for Jo. As soon as your eyes found hers, you sent her a look she knew all too well from the years of friendship you two had shared; one that practically screamed ‘get me the hell out of here’.

Instantly, she dropped her bag of garbage and discarded a stack of red cups onto the coffee table.

“I’ll drive you home!” She said, feigning cheerfulness. She knew something was wrong but none of the guys needed to know that. They didn’t need to know anything until the wheels of your plane left the ground the following day.

Ash, being the ever-observant friend she was, set her broom and dustpan aside and skipped over to you almost as cheerfully.

“Ou, She-Racha car ride? Count me in!”

Together, Jo and Ash gathered their things and slipped on their shoes when Minho suddenly appeared through the kitchen doorway with a half-eaten pudding cup in his hands. He glanced at his fiancée and Jo, confused as to what was going on.

“Are we going somewhere?” His gaze then landed on you and his face softened once he got a good look at you. “Y/n what’s going on? Where’s Jisung?”

Before you could open your mouth and feed Minho the same lie you told Felix, Jisung's voice echoed off the walls as he whipped his bedroom door open and shouted loudly down the hallway.

“Y/n wait!”

Upon hearing the desperation and anger in Jisung's voice, everyone’s eyes went from you to the top of the stairs where they expected Jisung to appear. You immediately hurried to the door where Jo and Ash were waiting, turning back to address Minho as you grabbed your things.

“Minho, please, do not let him come after me.”

Minho gave you a worried and confused look, but nodded nonetheless, knowing exactly what it was you needed from him. You only ever called him by his full name if it was urgent, and he picked up on that quirk of yours quickly. Ever since he and Ash had gotten together he’d become a lot more in tune with female emotions, and even though Jisung was one of his best friends, he obeyed you without hesitation.

Jisung appeared at the top of the stairs then, his hair messy as if he’d been pulling at it, his eyes angry but still drenched in tears. He saw you and immediately began descending the staircase two at a time, desperate for one last attempt to get you to stay, but Minho was quick to block his path. Without needing an explanation, Chan and Changbin instinctively jumped in and went to help as Minho struggled against Jisung's flailing figure.

Together, the three men managed to stop Jisung from reaching the bottom of the stairs while the remaining four stayed rooted in place, looking as freaked out and bewildered as anyone else in their position would’ve been.

You barely spared anyone a second glance before following Jo and Ash out of the house, slamming the door behind you.

And that was the last time you saw Jisung.

Even now, with all seven of the boys alongside Jo and Ash gathered around you at the airport to bid you one last farewell, Jisung didn’t show. You had laid awake practically all night, replaying the entire fight over and over again in your brain. A small part of you hoped against hope that he would show up despite it all and say goodbye, but he didn’t. 

You knew he wouldn’t. Not after you walked out on him the way you had.

Chan was furious at Jisung’s absence. He was currently standing a little ways away from the group, his phone pressed to his ear as he angrily left yet another voice message on Jisung's answering machine. 

According to the boys, after you and the girls left abruptly last night, and after the three older men fought Jisung's advances off, Jisung returned to his room as if he were a bull seeing red. He had quickly packed a bag of essentials and, before anyone could stop him, he left the house, swearing and cursing his members into hell for helping you escape. 

No one had seen him since, and based on the several messages each member had left on Jisung's phone, urging him to get to the airport before you had to board your plane, they hadn’t heard from him either. Felix and Hyunjin were worried about his lack of response, but the others were just pissed off at his behavior. 

“I swear to God Ji, if you don’t get to the airport in the next thirty minutes, I will personally disown you as my first child and then I’ll kick your ass. Call me back when you get this.” you heard Chan growl into his cell.

Jo was standing with you, her arms wrapped around your waist while yours slung around her shoulder in a half hug, your head resting on hers. She was smiling and laughing with Ash and the boys, but you could tell by the tension in her body that she was also listening in on Chan. No one had ever seen him this upset before, and it was unsettling for all of you.

A moment later, Chan hung up his phone again and returned to the rest of the group, scratching the back of his head in annoyance as he shoved his phone into his pocket.

“Based on the look on your face, I’m assuming he’s not coming?” Jo asked as Chan pushed his way through the circle to resume his spot behind her. He shook his head angrily, opening his mouth to begin the irate rant you all knew was coming, but Seungmin beat him to the punch, trying his best to brighten the mood with his usual level of sarcasm.

“Incredible!” he shouted as he began clapping obnoxiously, bringing everyone's attention to him. “Detective Jo has once again solved the case! The evidence was beyond us and yet, she somehow figured it out! I’m in awe.” 

You watched in amusement as Jo's eyes squinted as she glared at Seungmin with a smile on her face.

“I will fuck you up, Puppy.” Jo threatened as she detached herself from your side and stepped into Chan's embrace once more. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and rested his chin on her head, the anger in his features dissipating quickly.

Seungmin crossed his arms over his chest and flashed Jo a menacing grin. He loved being the only one brave enough to challenge Chan’s rules. Jo was off limits, but it didn’t seem to stop Seungmin from his relentless flirting. It’s like he was fueled by mischief.

“Good luck reaching me from down there, Little Miss Four-Foot Nothing.” He bantered. Jo’s eyes closed impossibly more as she tried to fight off a smirk that sat at her mouth.

“I’m 5’4, asshole.”

“Yikes. That’s still higher than your IQ, Seung.” Minho piped in, joining in on the fun. He had his arm protectively wrapped around Ash’s shoulders, but when Seungmin moved to kick him in the shin, Minho slid behind her in an attempt to hide, laughing maniacally.  

“I can’t fucking stand either of you.” Seungmin hid his laugh behind an annoyed exhale.

“Then kneel, dumbass.”

“Then kneel, dumbass.”

Both Jo and Minho spoke at the same time, resulting in everyone breaking out into laughter as the two of them high-fived each other in approval.

The stress that seemed to hang in the air at Jisung's clear absence was slowly being washed away with each chuckle, and you found yourself feeling so incredibly grateful for your friends.

“Why are you guys so mean to me?” Seungmin then fake pouted. Jo reached her hand up and ruffled his fluffy hair, pushing it out of his eyes.

“Cause I’m that much closer to hell than you are, Seung.” She responded sweetly. Everyone let out another laugh at her comment while Seungmin ducked out of her reach and playfully elbowed her in the ribs.

Ever since everyone arrived at the airport merely an hour ago, minus Jisung, you felt like your heart was just minutes away from stopping. Anxiety clawed through your insides like a feral cat trapped in a cage. Whether it was because of the obvious missing presence or simply just pre-tour jitters, you weren’t sure, but you expected the uneasiness to sink its teeth into you any second now, forcing an anxiety attack from your body. 

Thankfully, being surrounded by your friends, laughing and joking as if all was well helped ease some of the tightness in your chest, though only little by little.

That was until Minho’s phone began to ring noisily from his pocket, causing the tension to return to you in full force.

“Fucking finally,” Minho whispered once he caught a glance at the screen.

Everyone fell silent, the stress once again clouding the air like smoke.

“Is that him?” Felix questioned, a hopeful look in his eyes. Minho ignored him and swiped his thumb across the screen before shoving his phone to his ear.

“Jisung, where the fuck are you?”

Jisung could practically taste the fury that rolled off of Minho's tongue and into his ear. It made his chest tighten slightly, but he took a deep breath and willed himself to relax.

“I’m sorry Min. I’m not coming.”

“What do you mean you’re not coming?”

“I mean I’m not coming.”

An irritated breath left Minho’s mouth.

“Fuck off Jisung. I don’t know what the hell happened between you and y/n last night, and at this point, I don’t really care, but you need to get your ass here, now. Y/n’s plane leaves in no less than two hours. Put in your fucking tampon and come say goodbye.” Minho growled.

Jisung let out a sigh as he glanced around the hotel room he was staying in. His laptop sat open on the bed beside him, his anime currently paused. He made a point not to acknowledge the empty soju bottles that decorated the tabletop, or the bag of marijuana that sat half-opened on the nightstand beside him.

Why did his friends, his family, have to make this so difficult for him? 

All he wanted to do was forget.

Forget you. Forget your name. Forget your face. 

He wanted to forget the way your lips felt against his, even for that brief but magical moment you two shared; the way you whimpered and melted into his touch seconds before you ripped his heart out and stomped it into the carpet of his bedroom. 

He wanted to forget all of it. The kiss you shared, the fight that ensued, the look you gave him before you slammed the front door and left.

He wanted to forget, but more than anything else, he hoped to God that when he’d wake up from his intoxicated sleep, he’d remember.

He wanted to remember the way you smiled in awe as you listened to the song he made for you, eyes full of tears as they fluttered closed as if you could feel the emotion and love he poured into each lyric. He wanted to remember the way your body automatically responded to him when he leaned in to kiss you, as if kissing him was as natural to you as breathing. He wanted to remember how absolutely beautiful you looked as you yelled at him with mascara-stained tears.

He wanted to remember it all and he wanted to forget it all.

Jisung took a second to chug back the soju from his shot glass, setting the empty soju bottle next to the others before he responded to Minho, trying to ignore the sting of his friend's words.

“I’m sorry Min.” was all he could say. 

There was a second of silence before Ash’s calm and collected voice suddenly came through the phone. 

“Jisung, what’s going on?” she asked, her voice soft. Jisung nearly started to cry just from how warm and concerned she sounded. She always had been like an older sister to him, and her serene and tender attitude hit him like a bucket of ice-cold water. He loved the boys so much, but listening to the dozens of harsh messages they’d left him when he didn’t show up at the airport hurt him more than he cared to admit.

“I’m sorry Ash. I can’t.” Jisung didn’t think he had any tears left in him, but his eyes began to water as if he hadn’t cried in years. “I love her too much. I can’t let her go.”

Ash let out a sigh as she stepped away from the group of eyes staring expectantly at her, trying to get some privacy when she realized Jisung was crying.

“Ji, I know what happened last night.” She reassured him with a whisper. “Y/n told me everything. And I know it’s hard saying goodbye, but I don’t want you to regret this.”

“I can’t just let her run off with another man.” he scoffed.

“Ji, you know nobody wants you two together more than we do. Chan stopped trying to set her up with other guys years ago because he knows now that you two were absolutely made for each other. We all know that. Just because she’s going on tour with Seojun doesn’t mean she isn’t going to come home to you in a year and a half. You’re the one she loves, not him. You just have to let her figure it out for herself. And she will. She’ll always come home to you.”

“I don’t think so, Ash. Not this time. I fucked up.”

Ash let out a sigh at his words, running a hand through her hair.

“Come and say goodbye and you’ll see that you haven’t.” she tried.

The other end of the line was silent for a moment and she swore she got through to him. Jisung carefully absorbed her words, and for a second, he hoped she was right. But that thought was washed away just as quickly when the image of you walking out the door without a single regret flashed through his brain, causing him to let out an unexpected sob.

“I’m sorry,” Jisung whispered, his voice defeated and tired. “I can’t. Please, please don’t be mad at me.”

Another sigh left Ash's mouth and Jisung braced himself for the words he knew would come next.

“I’m not mad at you Ji. I’m disappointed. Despite everything that happened, we’re still a family, and this isn’t how we treat our family.” 

Even though he expected her answer almost word for word, it still hurt to hear her say. Being mad at him was one thing, but being disappointed in him and his actions made his heart ache impossibly more. 

He spent so much time trying to make everyone around him proud of everything he did and hearing Ash say those words did nothing but knock him down a few dozen pegs on his scale of confidence.

He pushed away another round of tears and took a deep breath before responding to her. 

“I’m sorry. I’m not coming.” 

And that was final.

Ash sensed the certainty in his tone and let out yet another heavy sigh, the disappointment more evident now than before. As much as they respected each other and understood each other, she knew better than to try and sway his decisions. He was a stubborn man, and when his heart was set on something, it was nearly impossible to change his mind.

Oh, the irony.

“Okay, I’ll let the gang know,” she whispered.

“Thank you.” Jisung breathed a sigh of relief, thankful she gave in so easily. He hated fighting against her.

“Don’t thank me,” Ash spoke up again, her voice now firm and authoritative, just like a scolding mother. “You’re not out of the woods yet Jisung. Just because I’m saying ‘okay’ doesn’t mean I’m happy about this. You still have to face Jo whenever you decide to come home.”

He wasn’t planning on coming home any time soon, but he didn’t say it, lest he let her down even more than he already seemed to have.

“I’m sorry.” he choked out one last time.

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”

She was right, and he knew it, but he couldn’t bring himself to contact you. He wanted so badly to call you and say goodbye, to hear your voice one last time, but he knew it would only cause him more heartbreak if he did. Even though he swore to himself the day he met you that he would do absolutely anything for you, he couldn’t bring himself to do this.

Instead, he let Ash's words hang in the air for a few moments longer before another sob escaped his throat, causing him to say goodbye and hang up.

Ash shook her head and willed herself to breathe as the dial tone rang in her eardrums. 

“So?” Hyunjin prodded as she returned to the group. Everyone looked at her expectantly while she slid Minho’s phone back into the pocket of his jeans, but you already knew based on the way her shoulders slumped that her attempts to convince Jisung to come were helpless. “Is he on his way?”

Ash shook her head at Hyunjin and gave you a sad, guilty look.

“I’m sorry, Babe,” she whispered. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat and plastered a smile on your face, trying to mask the hurt you felt. If anyone would’ve been able to convince him, it was her. You were thankful that she at least gave it a try. “S’okay. I didn’t really expect him to come after everything that happened. Thank you though for trying.”

“I’m gonna’ fucking kill him.” Jo then growled from beside you, her sudden outburst causing you to jump. Her eyebrows furrowed in anger as she shook her head in disgust. 

“Not if I kill him first.” Changbin piped in then, his jaw clenched in disbelief at his friend's behavior. He had his phone out in front of him and he was tapping relentlessly against the screen, no doubt sending yet another message to Jisung.

“I’m gonna’ help.” I.N decided, his tongue prodding his cheeks as he tried to hold back his frustration. “Binnie and I have watched enough true crime shows to know how to get away with homicide.”

“Don't you mean homie-side” Chan laughed, earning a glare from everybody else while he chuckled at his own joke. The pause was quick before everyone began plotting again, ignoring him and his old-man puns.

“Guys,” you rubbed the bridge of your nose as Jo and the boys began organizing what you hoped was nothing more than a hypothetical crime. With Jo, there was always the possibility of it being not-so. “Can we please just forget about it? We’re supposed to be saying goodbye, not plotting a murder.”

Your friends ignored you completely.

“You’re right." Jo then continued with a nod, her eyes burning holes into the floor as you saw the wheels practically spinning wildly in her mind. "We have to make it look like an accident.”

You sent Chan a look of desperation, to which he shrugged his shoulders and gave you a helpless look in return.

“Why are you looking at me? You know I have no control over them.” He tried to hide his smile behind a pathetic cough, no doubt reveling in the fact that for once in his life, he was not at the butt end of all the jokes.

You rolled your eyes and clenched your jaw in irritation as you glared at him before attempting to calm your friends down again.

“Guys, I think we’re overreacting a bit, yeah?” you tried.

“I’m thinking Carbon Monoxide in his sleep,” Seungmin stated, nodding his head in approval. The lack of emotion on his face had the hairs on your arms standing upright.

“I’m thinking we just chloroform the little bastard,” Minho suggested, his hands up, pretending like he was holding onto someone's head while he shoved an imaginary cloth into their non-existent face.

With that, you let out another sigh, louder this time, and rubbed at your temple. You gave Chan another look and winced when you saw his amused smile growing wider.

Traitor.

Thankfully, Ash caught on to your distress and spoke up quickly on your behalf.

“Guys!”

Immediately, like little ducklings, everyone stopped talking and turned to look at her. She always stepped into the parental role when Chan couldn’t be bothered to, it was part of the platonic partnership they came up with when they were deemed as Mom and Dad of the group. The boys may not have always respected Chan, but they never failed to listen to and respect Ash.

“Can we please wait and discuss our premeditated murders until after y/n’s gone? I don’t think she wants to spend the last of her time with us being reminded of he who shall not be named.”

The boys and Jo muttered their apologies before they dove into other conversations with one another. You mouthed a ‘thank you’ Ash’s way before being roped into the conversation with them.

*****

It didn’t take long for the time to fly by. One minute you were thanking Ash for stepping in and calming the kids down, and the next, the time had come. The boys were currently held up in a heated debate about Jo and her nickname for Innie when you reluctantly glanced up at the clock.

A sigh left your mouth. 

It was time to go through security and find your gate.

“Only Jo gets to call me Daddy Toast, you know that!” 

“I know it, but I’ll never understand it.”

“What does that even mean anyway?”

“See Hyune. This is why you’re the leader of Paboracha.”

“It means she thinks I’m hot!”

“I do not, Innie!”

“Okay, I do not approve of this conversation anymore.”

You let out a giggle as Chan let out his signature disappointed dad sigh, a hand running down his face as the kids began arguing again. He turned to look at you, his face now pleading.

“Please don’t leave me with these idiots.”

“You’ll be fine,” you reassured him with a smirk. The smirk quickly turned into a sad smile as you let out a breath. “I have to go now.”

Chan nodded before he clapped his hands to grab everyone's attention. He received a little more resistance than Ash had, but everyone was quick to shut up and listen. “Alright you heathens, it’s time to say goodbye to Bunny.” 

One by one, each of your friends stepped forward to give you one last hug goodbye. Hyunjin and Felix squished you into a HyunLix sandwich while planting friendly kisses all across your face, causing you to giggle and squeeze them against you. Changbin then impatiently pulled you from their arms and literally swept you off your feet, spinning you around easily as he crushed you with his biceps.

I.N and Minho both settled for ruffling your hair and patting your head before wrapping you in a half hug and squeezing you gently to show their affection. You were surprised to find Chan tear-free as he stepped from Jo’s side, a complete one-eighty from his drunken speech the night before. He wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on your head, smiling proudly.

“Go kick some worldwide ass,” he whispered as he rubbed his hands up your back soothingly, no doubt trying to help ease the tension he probably felt in your shoulders. The tears that were threatening to pool in your eyes suddenly appeared at the sound of his words, and you purposely wiped your tears on the fabric of his shirt. The sigh that left Chan’s mouth at your actions was funny enough to make you laugh but not enough to stop the sudden flow of water pouring from your eyes like a faucet.

“I’m going to miss you guys so much,” you whispered back as he planted a kiss on the top of your head and then let you go.

Seungmin was last, a giant pout on his lips as he stepped into your open arms.

“Please don’t forget about us, okay?” he asked dramatically, as if you weren't set to return to his side eighteen months from now. He sulked into your embrace, willing himself not to cry. You smiled through your own tears. 

“I could never forget about you, Pup.”

At that, a single tear fell down Seungmin's cheek. He quickly wiped it away with the sleeve of his oversized hoodie before flashing you a playful grin.

“I know that you’re with Seojun now and the old man gave me strict instructions not to kiss you anymore but-”

Before you could even protest, Seungmin dipped his head and kissed your cheek mischievously before folding you in his arms.

“- I don’t care what grandpa says. You know I live to break the rules, and if Seojun fucks up, I’ll break him.”

You nuzzled your face into his shoulder. Unlike Chan, Seungmin didn’t seem to mind the tears (and snot) that were staining his sweater. He just ran his hand through your messy hair and shushed you as you hiccupped.

“You’re a menace to society,” you whispered lovingly at him.

“I love you too Bunny,” Seungmin laughed before pulling away from you and holding you at arm's length. “No more crying okay? We don’t want the resident trash panda making a return before she’s due overseas.” His hands cupped your face, thumbs wiping at your cheeks softly as he bent and gave you his best smile. 

You snorted at his joke and smacked him lightly, trying to pull your face from his grasp while he laughed at your reaction. 

“I’m kidding Bunny. You are going to kill it out there. Seriously. You have all of us behind you. If you need us, call. Any time.”

You nodded and gave him one last tight bear hug in return before you took a deep breath and turned to face the two you were dreading saying goodbye to the most.

When you turned to the girls, the waterworks went into overdrive. Together, Ash and Jo came forward to hug you, their chins resting on each of your shoulders as your arms wrapped around them tightly.

“I’m so proud of you,” Jo whispered, hiccuping through her words.

“We’re so proud of you.” Ash corrected her, her hand running up and down your back. You gave both of them a gentle squeeze and willed yourself to stay like that for several moments as reality sunk in.

This was it. 

You were really doing this.

Never in a million years did you think you’d be saying goodbye to your friends and heading out on your own tour without them, yet here you were. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t nervous as hell, thinking about every possible thing that could go wrong and then some. 

Who were you going to go to when you needed someone to proofread your next chapter if you couldn’t sneak into Ash’s or Seungmin's room and bother them? Who were you going to bribe into late-night ice cream dates when your mind turned to mush after staring at the screen all day if you couldn’t ask Changbin and Jisung? Who was going to sprawl out on the couch with you on your off days and watch K-dramas if it wasn’t Felix, I.N, or Minho? Who was going to talk trash about reality television with you if it wasn’t Hyunjin, Jo, and Chan? 

Your heart felt heavy.

Jo must’ve sensed it cause her hand came up to hold the back of your head as she pulled away and looked at you, tears washing down her face.

“We’ll facetime every chance we get, okay?”

You let out an unattractive snort.

“You don’t even use Apple, Jo.”

She rolled her eyes at you.

“Binnie and I stand by what we said about Samsung being superior.”

“Superior, my ass!” Felix called out from somewhere behind her. Jo twisted her head around and gave him a glare.

“Oi. You’re lucky I love you Lixie or I’d kick you off of The Freckled Friends Baking Show and have Binnie replace your apple-loving ass.”

Felix’s lip jutted out at Jo’s threat. 

“Binnie doesn’t even have freckles! You wouldn’t dare!”

Jo flipped him off with a smirk. “Watch me, bitch.”

Another round of arguing ensued then, this one about which cell phone brand was better, and you resisted the urge to join them. As much as you loved your friends and their chaotic antics, you needed to leave, no matter how badly you didn’t want to at that moment.

“I’ll keep you updated on Ji,” Ash whispered as she pulled away from you. You thanked her and finally stepped away from the group. With your carry-on in one hand and your purse in the other, you gave your friends one last nod, one last smile, one last awkward wave before you turned your back on them and headed towards the security line.

You couldn’t help but turn your head back every couple of minutes as you waited in line patiently. Every time you glanced back at your group, they were smiling and waving and cheering you on. You were surprised the lot of you hadn’t been kicked out of the airport already for causing such a commotion. 

You waved again when you reached the front of the line, the security guard taking your ticket and I.D. and instructing you to unload your belongings into the bins to go through the machine, which you did.

It took you no less than a couple minutes to get through security unscathed and gather your belongings on the other side. 

When you retrieved your phone from the basket you saw you had a couple unread messages from Felix. You smiled widely when you opened the messages to find Felix had sent you a handful of photos. A couple were of you heading towards the security line, while the rest of them were pictures of the group waving and blowing kisses goodbye.

You grinned and ran your hand through your hair as you stopped and glanced back up through the security gate. You had your hand raised and were bidding one final farewell to your group when a familiar figure caught your eye.

Lo and behold, standing a few feet in front of your group of friends, staring at you through the line of people was the man you were waiting for. Dressed in dark sweatpants, a darker hoodie, and a white backward cap, Han Jisung frowned at you as he waved goodbye.

Part Two is here!!!!

God, I forgot how much I adored this mini-series! Re-reading now is making me so emotional and nostalgic.

Thank you all for returning for Part Two!!!

Prepare yourselves for Part Three, cause it's a sad one!!

See you all soon!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @sungshineworld @collisvng @ihrtlix

If you want to be added to the taglist, lmk!!!

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[itsseohannbin]

• Like A Volcano | Part Five | •

Han Jisung Mini Series

© itshannjisung, 2024

♡ itsseohannbins masterlist ♡

Series Masterlist

Chapter Genre: Angst⚡️Fluff💕Crack💥

-Bestfriends to Lovers Trope-

Summary: being best friends with the kings of kpop always has its ups and downs, and when you're offered a spot on the next European-American book tour to promote the publishing of your new book, there's one kpop king in particular who just doesn't want you to go.

Pairing: Idol!Han Jisung x Female Reader x Bestfriend Skz

** Includes two of my own original female characters, both whom are romantically involved with two of the members. Chan x Jo / Minho x Ash **

Warnings: Swearing. mentions of pregnancy. mentions/consumptions of alcohol. brief mention of bar fights. PDA. making out. slight suggestive themes. toothrotting fluff towards the end. the boys do not use honorifics.

lmk if I missed any!!

Word Count: 7.9k

**this chapter has been slightly changed & revised**

Enjoy!

The nightclub looked exactly how you remembered it to be; overly crowded, disgustingly sweaty and loud enough that you couldn’t even hear your own thoughts.

There was a point in time when this very scene was exactly what you and your friends thrived off of. The hundreds of slick bodies rubbing against each other in time with the music, the endless supply of alcohol that you would all take advantage of until the early hours of the morning, the open-concept layout that allowed you access to every square inch of the building, VIP or not.

Now, the eleven of you preferred nights in with take-out, karaoke, gaming, home-mixed drinks and old movies. Very rarely did you guys ever go out like this, so when you did, you guys always made the absolute most of it.

Bright neon lights and signs littered the old brick walls. The main dance floor still stood directly in the middle of the club, separated by a few steps downward to give it a sunken-in look. The DJ stage sat above it, strobe lights flashing every color and design in time to whatever was playing over the speakers.

The main dance floor was accessible to everyone, and there were multiple staircases leading up to the mezzanine level where the VIP section sat. From up there, you’d have a full view of the bars, the dance floor and the seating areas, though the VIP section had a bar and seating section of its own.

You knew your friends would be up there in the same private seating section they’d claimed upon one of the first visits to the club after debut oh-so many years ago. The staff made sure to rope it off so anyone who wasn’t apart of the Stray Kids entourage wouldn’t get in.

Big, burly men stood guard at each staircase, ensuring only VIPS got access upstairs, and you would’ve been intimidated by them all if they weren’t all Changbin’s gym buddies who, like Dae-hyun, knew you and your friends closely.

As your feet carried you forwards, further into the heat and humidity that clung to the air, you felt some of your tenacity begin to slip. If Jisung was in here hooking up with some girl, it’d be nearly impossible to find him in the ever-growing crowd. There must’ve been some sort of event happening as there seemed to be more people bustling around than usual.

You took a quick detour to the nearest bar and topped up on some liquid courage, the bartender adding it to Changbins ever-growing tab, before making your way to a staircase, trying to avoid the stares and glares you received from nearly everyone you passed by.

When you approached the familiar security guard standing post at the bottom of the metal stairs, you smiled brightly up at him.

“Ye-jun, hey! The rest of the gang is upstairs, yeah?” you asked as you stopped next to him briefly. Ye-jun, who smiled brightly at your sudden appearance, just sighed and gave you a once over before shaking his head and laughing at you in amusement.

“Why am I not surprised that you’re the one walking in here rocking a three-day walk of shame outfit?” he teased. “I’m gonna’ have to have a serious talk with Dae after shift about letting you in here lookin’ like that.”

You punched him lightly in the arm.

“Fuck you Ye, you know I look good.” you teased right back. You made sure to twirl your body in a circle for added affect, causing Ye-jun’s lower lip to fall between his teeth, his eyes darkening with appreciation.

“Yeah, maybe a little too good, y/n. Jisung better smarten the hell up and get his ass in gear before someone snatches you up. Or worse, I do.”

Your initial reaction was to laugh, but the reality of his words only caused you to sigh and run a hand down your already sweaty face.

“Has Ji been that bad?” you asked, not really wanted to know the answer.

If Jisung and his behavior was beginning to cause problems for the club staff, you were going to kill him. Ye-jun shook his head and laughed at the concerned look on your face.

“No. Bad would’ve been eight months ago when I had to drag him out of the bathroom and into a taxi because he was crying so hard over you that he threw up all over one of the couches upstairs. Now he just jumps from woman to woman, causing fights to break out and making security have to work double time.” he explained, chuckling whole-heartedly at the sheer embarrassed that was now plastered to your features at the news.

“Oh my fucking God.” you exasperated. “I am so sorry, Ye.”

Ye-jun waved off your worries with a smile.

“Don’t be. We’ve had some good action in the time you’ve been gone, mostly from the women he double-times. Cat fights, smashed bottles, broken chairs, wigs being torn off, drinks thrown, nails breaking. Oh yeah, the guys and I have been nothing short of amused lately.”

You buried your face in your free hand while heat rushed to your cheeks and covered the tips of your ears. “Jesus, Ye. Why haven’t you kicked us out and banned us yet?” you only half joked. Ye-jun just shrugged and leaned against the railing as he crossed his arms over his broad chest.

“Bad publicity. Throwing out a group of idols would look bad no matter how we’d try and spin it. Plus, like I said, the guys and I are loving it. Standing here for twelve hours checking wrist bands isn’t really as enticing as it may seem.”

You gave him a wicked smile at that last part.

“I’ll keep that in mind next time I feel like starting a fight then.” you winked, though you still felt awful about the crap Jisung’s put the staff through. Ye-jun chuckled and shook his head one last time at you as you tapped his arm goodbye and ran up the stairs, feeling more desperate to find Jisung than before.

The air upstairs was noticeably lighter, making it easier to breathe the second you reached the top. Behind the panes of glass that bordered off the VIP section, the music was slightly muffled, allowing your mind a moment of peace from the commotion and noise coming from behind you.

You pushed your way through the groups of people that cluttered the area, thanking the heavens it was less crowded up here than it was down below, and stopped just a few feet away from the section where your friends sat. You watched the six bodies that were currently present, admiring your friends in awe.

Hyunjin was perched on the armrest of one of the two couches, sipping his drink while he observed the people around him, no doubt looking for someone to pique his interest. Jeongin sat next to him against the cushions, picking away at the large plate of food that sat on the table in front of him.

Ash and Minho were in their own little world on the other couch, the two of them whispering and giggling to one another as they scrolled through Ash’s phone. They’d stop briefly and exchange looks of intimacy and small, soft kisses before resuming, causing you to blush and look away in order to grant them some privacy.

Jo and Chan were, unexpectedly, also indulging themselves in some PDA, which confused you to the core. Jo was never one for public displays of affection, she usually avoided it like the plague, and Chan was always so fine with it; he too preferred it that way, their intimacy save for the privacy of their bedroom.

But alas, here they were. Jo was sitting sideways on Chans lap, her arms wrapped lovingly around his shoulders as his hands held her tightly at the waist, his face buried into her neck. She was giggling softly to herself as he continued his attack on her skin, leaving kisses along her jaw and throat before dipping to her collarbone momentarily and then tracing his path back upwards. The others didn’t seem to mind, paying them no attention, which only left you feeling more out of the loop.

Something was going on.

You had opened your mouth to question what was going on, to ask when Hell hath frozen over for them to be doing such things publicly, without a care, but you barely got a sound out before Jeongin practically squealed in disbelief.

“Oh my God, Noona?”

He jumped from his spot on the couch, his half eaten chicken wing forgotten as he ran to you with open arms. The remaining five bodies all jumped in surprise at his outburst and they turned to watch as he bulldozed into you, nearly knocking you clean off your feet.

“Y/n?” Hyunjin questioned in time to Jeongins movements as the younger squeezed your waist tightly. Realisation hit him quickly, and before you knew it, he was rushing to your side almost as quick as  Jeongin had.

“Is it really you? Are you really here?” Jeongin asked, his smile brighter than the sun. He barely had enough time to move out of the way before Hyunjin’s large figure came crashing into the two of you.

“Bunny? What the heck are you doing here?” Hyunjin interrupted your reply around a laugh as his hands came up to cup your face so he could hold you still and properly look at you. It was as if he didn’t believe you were actually standing before him in the flesh. He had your face squished so much between his palms that your lips were jutting outwards and you couldn’t form any sort of response back to him.

“Jesus Hyune, give the girl room to breathe.” Jo spoke as she hopped of Chans lap and approached the three of you with a smile. “She’s here to see me, obviously.” 

Hyunjin let go of your face and rolled his eyes at Jo’s words as he stepped out of her way so she could greet you.

“Yes, yes. We all know you two are secretly lesbian lovers.” he dramatically spewed with a shake of his head as he returned to his spot on the armrest of the couch.

“It’s true.” you joked back as you pulled Jo in for a tight hug, happy to see her back to usually cheerful self. “Jo and I are helplessly in love.” 

Chan was right behind her, wrapping his arms around the both of you and squishing Jo between your two bodies.

“We had a feeling you’d show.” he quipped before stepping away, allowing Minho and Ash to come forward next. The two of them hugged you warmly before everyone returned to their seats. Jeongin had grabbed your hand and dragged you towards the couch where he and Hyunjin had been sitting, plopping you down in between the two of them.

“Seriously though, what are you doing home? I thought the tour wasn’t done for another month? What’s going on? And what happened to your arm? Why are you dressed like that? Is everything okay?” Jeongins questions came at you in rapid fire as he began picking at his food once more, a look of concern washing over his features. You sighed and rubbed at your eye, taking a moment to think about how to respond.

“It’s a long story,” you decided. “One we can get into later if you’re really interested and concerned.” you patted Jeongins hand reassuringly. “As for my arm, I fractured it back in Amsterdam. I’m okay though, so please don’t worry.” You reached out to pull a cold fry off the platter on the table but Hyunjin’s hand shot out and grabbed you before you could.

“Uh oh. I’m sensing drama.” he stated, his eyes wide as he looked at you in anticipation. He then went on to ask you the one question you dreaded being asked since your plane left the Amsterdam tarmac. Jo, Ash, Chan and Minho all groaned at his curiosity, though Jeongin looked just as intrigued.

“Where’s whats-his-name?”

You took a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself for the onslaught of questions that would no doubt follow your response. You were hoping you’d have more time before the situation was brought up despite coming all the way here and surprising them. You were too focused on your task at hand to think of appropriate responses while in the taxi ride here, and you mentally scolded yourself for it.

“He’s not here.” you stated simply, surprising yourself with how easy it was to say despite everything Seojun put you through. Hyunjin eyed you as his fingers laced with yours. He seemed to have caught onto the seriousness of the situation and chose his next words carefully.

“Not here as in back at your apartment? Or not here as in-”

“Not here as in not in my life anymore.” you interjected, squeezing his large hand for comfort. Jeongin’s face fell slightly at the news, his lips turning downwards into a frown.

“I’m sorry Noona. I know you really liked him.” he pouted for you. You were quick to wave off his worries as you patted his cheek affectionately, ignoring the way your stomach churned at Jeongin’s claim.

“Innie, please, don’t be sorry. I dodged a bullet with that one, believe me.” you assured him with a smile, mimicking Juho’s words from the other night. Jeongin was half-way through a concerned nod before Seungmin’s voice echoed throughout the small area, his sweaty face lighting up like a Christmas tree upon seeing you sitting before him.

“Holy shit. Y/n?” Disbelief coated his words as he hesitated to move. It wasn’t until you smiled his way and stood up from the couch with your arms open wide did he rush to you like a puppy, scooping you up in his arms and spinning the two of you around. As soon as he put you down a moment later, he pulled you into a tight hug, kissing the top of your head.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice an octave higher as his surprise and joy seeped into his tone. You glanced up at him and smiled before bumping your nose against his chin.

“I just missed you guys so much, I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to come home before I lost my mind.” you answered jokingly before a mischievous smirk spread across your face. “I’m actually here to confess my love.”

Seungmin’s eyes widened slightly, his eyebrows shooting up his exposed forehead, his lip quivering for an uncertain moment as he tried to read your facial features. He knew about your infatuation with Jisung, nearly everyone at this point did, so his smile was wary and unsure as your hands lifted to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. He swallowed awkwardly, his arms tightening around you as his eyes squinted down at your curiously.

“Confess to who?” he drawled out. Your smirk grew bigger at his inquiry.

“To Jisung, obviously.”

As expected, Seungmin’s face twisted up into a look of discontent and disgust, though his smile never fully faded, his grip still tight around your waist. He knew your heart belonged to his bandmate, but it never stopped him from relentlessly flirting with you every change he got.

“Why would you want to confess to him when your knight in shining armour is literally standing right here in front of you?”

You laughed and scoffed before ruffling his now-blonde hair and giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Seung, you know I love you, but-”

“Yeah, yeah. Not the way you love him.” he waved off your affection with a laugh of his own as he wiped your kiss from his cheek. “He’s nothing but a loser trapped in his own aluminium foil, and for some reason, you’re into that.” he playfully rolled his eyes and frowned as he let you go. A pout sat at his lips as he took your spot on the couch and helped himself to the food you were eating.

“Don’t be pouty.” you mocked.

“I’m not?” Seungmin answered, his frown still present. “I’m just glad it was one of us and not that jackass.”

“One of you that what?” you quipped.

“One of us that you fell in love with. I mean, it should’ve been me, honestly, because I’m irresistibly funny and more handsome than Jisung will ever be, but I won’t hold it against you. As long as you come sit with me.” Seungmin joked around, patting his lap for you to sit down.

You rolled your eyes at him and ignored his invitation, glancing around the VIP section to see if you could spot Jisung. You knew he wouldn’t be up here, it would be obvious if he was, but you still looked for him regardless.

“Where is Ji anyways?” you asked no one in particular. “I need to talk to him before my confidence wears off.”

You didn’t realise you had been bouncing anxiously from foot to foot, toying with the hem of your (Jisung’s) shirt until Ash had reached out and grabbed a hold of your hand, her thumb running soothing circles across your knuckles to help ease your nerves.

“Last I saw he was down on the dance floor with Bin and Felix.” Seungmin answered as he leaned back into the leather couch, his mouth nearly stuffed full with nachos.

Just as you were about to open your mouth and ask who wanted to join you for a dance, Changbin showed up looking sweaty and out of breath. He whizzed past Chan and Jo, who had resumed their intimate acts of affection, and reached for a glass, gulping half of it down before he even noticed you standing there. Upon meeting your gaze, his eyes widened and he nearly spat his drink out across the space between the two of you.

“Bunny?” Felix shouted in surprise as he appeared, pushing past the ropes and coming forward to immediately pull you into a gentle hug before Changbin could. “What the hell are you doing here? When did you get back?”

You squeezed your arms around him for a moment, melting into his familiar embrace before you pulled away and held him at arms length, observing his change in style.

“I got back this morning. But you? What did you do to your hair?” you exclamied upon seeing it, the bright blue color harmonizing his skin tone perfectly. Felix blushed and swiped his hand through the loose locks, smiling down at his feet.

“You like it? I think it looked great. They did such a good job for comeback.”

“It looks incredible!” you gushed as your hands reached up to touch it. You were expecting the strands to be dry and damaged from all the product they must’ve used to bleach it and then dye it, but it was as soft as a feather.

“Yah!” Changbin then interrupted in his loud voice, the tone only slightly annoyed. “Is this why the four of you rushed out of the house so quickly this morning? To go pick her up?” He addressed Chan, Jo, Minho and Ash as he came in for a hug. The four of them nodded in response.

“Why didn’t you tell us she was back!” He asked as he wrapped his strong arms around you and squished you tighter than anyone else had.

“She didn’t want you guys to know she was back until she was ready.” Chan explained calmly, glancing at you before he continued on. “She’s had a lot of shit happen in the last few months and she really needed a rest before you heathens brought more chaos into your life.” He gave you a silent look to see how you’d react to his explanation, but his honestly barely bothered you.

“Because you guys are animals and I needed to fully recharge my battery before facing all eight of you again. I missed you guys a lot, but my time away has dwindled my patience.” you joked as you wiggled in Changbins iron-like embrace. He waited a few more seconds before loosening his grip, allowing you room to breathe. He then held you at arms length and gave you a once over, a look of concern crossing his features before a giggle escaped his lips.

“Your sense of style also seems to be dwindling.” he teased, shaking his head similar to how Ye-jun had. “What the hell are you wearing?” he asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes and pushed him playfully away from you.

“Keep it in your pants, Bin. I’m here for Jisung, not you.”

You expected Changbin to dramatically clutch his heart and fall to his knees the way he’d done so many times in the past, but instead, he tensed under your touch at the mention of Jisung’s name. A laboured breath left his throat and your stomach began to turn.

“Fuck me.” he whispered as he closed his eyes and rubbed at the bridge of his nose in distress..

“Bin, what’s wrong?” your voice squeaked. You knew his answer just by the look of sheer guilt in his eyes, but it still stung to hear the words out loud.

“He just went off to dance with some girl.” he admitted shyly as he scratched the back of his neck. There was barely enough time for the information to reach your ears before Jo suddenly burst out in a fit of annoyance.

“Binnie, what the hell?” she sucked in a breath at his words, a look of betrayal on her face. “Remember when I told you guys not to let him do that tonight? This is why. Cause y/n’s back, you idiot!”

Changbin shrugged his shoulders and held his hands up in surrender.

“It’s not my fault! I didn’t know Bunny was back, or I would’ve stopped him! I just wanted to let the kid have some fun!” he tried to justify his actions, but Jo wasn’t having any of it. She nearly growled as she rose from Chan’s lap, causing him to reach out to stop her.

You watched as Chan grabbed her by the waist to prevent her from beating Changbin to death with her bare fists, his hands resting protectively across her stomach. He stood with the momentum and nuzzled his face into her neck, whispering lightly into her ear. He was being overly affectionate with her despite the tension that surrounded the two of them earlier in the morning during the ride back to your apartment, and you were becoming more and more confused.

“Jo, Love, please relax. You don’t want to get too riled up. Think about your blood pressure.” you heard him barely whisper as he tried to talk Jo down, his hands moving to rest on her upper arms.

You knew something was going on but you never expected the next words to leave Chan’s mouth.

“Think of the baby.” he murmured. He thought he had spoken low enough for no one to hear, but you did. Everyone did, and everyone minus Ash and Minho whipped their heads in their direction with matching looks of shock crossing their features, Changbins fuck-up momentarily forgotten.

“I’m sorry, WHAT?” you shouted in surprise.

Chan’s face flushed red and Jo scowled playfully at him. 

“Nice going Chris.” she mumbled as she smacked his arm lightly. Chan just let out a sheepish smile and rested his chin on her shoulder as he pulled her back down onto his lap.

“Excuse me?” Changbin was having a hard time comprehending the news.

“You’re pregnant?” Jeongin and Felix spoke at the same time that Hyunjin and Seungmin let out choked noises of surprise. Jo hesitated for a minute to look at Chan before the biggest smile you’d ever seen from her spread across her face. She looked joyful, ironically like a child, and adoration sparkled in her eyes.

“Surprise?” she offered. Smiles and shouts of joy began to slip out as the initial shock wore off of everyone, each of the members present standing to hug and congratulate the happy couple on their news. Seungmin just leaned forward from his spot on the couch to try and give his leader a high-five amidst the chaos.

“Alright Chan! Fifty points for managing to put a Joey in the pouch!” he laughed maniacally. Everyone except Chan laughed at Seungmins inappropriate joke.

Chan instead just deadpanned at his younger member, the signature disappointed dad sigh making a comeback as he shook his head. He looked as if he was ready to put Seungmin up for adoption.

“Seungmin, never ever in your life say those words to me ever again.”

Seungmin just laughed as he forcefully pulled one of Chan’s hands off of Jo’s stomach and high-fived himself with it, looking mischievous and every bit proud of himself. Everyone shook their heads at him before you brought attention back to Jo and Chan.

“So, how far along are you?” you asked.

“Do you guys know the gender yet?” Felix then chided in.

“Oh God, I don’t know if I’m ready to be an Uncle to two idiots just yet.” Hyunjin cried, earning a smack on the back of his head from Minho.

“If it’s a boy can we name it after JYP?”

Jo laughed at the impending questions and hugged Chan tighter to her chest as she answered each of them happily, her body practically dripping with excitement.

“I’m almost four months along. No, we don’t know the gender, we want to keep it a surprise. And no, Seung? We’re not naming it after JYP?” she scowled at Seungmin’s suggestion. You could practically see the wheels of mischeif spinning wildly in his mind, and you decided then to interrupt his next words with a clap of your hands.

“I think this calls for a celebratory drink for everyone! In honor of the both of you.” you interjected, addressing both Ash and Jo in your statement. “By this time next year, we’ll have a mini-Jo and a mini-Min running around together, wreaking havoc with their parents in tow, and I think it’s best for us all to get a head start on the numbing process now.”

Everyone giggled and cheered at your suggestion. All but Chan. His attention was zeroed in on something past the window and down onto the main dance floor.

“I think the drinks can wait.” he said. When his eyes found yours, he nodded and motioned down to the crowd of people who were dancing and singing to the music. You paced to the window and peered through the glass to see what he was looking at.

At first, you weren’t sure what caught his eye. The flickering lights and hordes of people made it difficult to spot what he did, but after a sudden flash of white light lit up the room, it was hard to miss the silver-blonde mop of hair on Jisungs head as he squeezed his way through the crowd, his hands intertwined with a girls.

You gulped loudly as you watched him pull the female away from the dance floor and towards the darkened corners where the bathrooms were located. A wave of heat washed over you and you suddenly felt sick to your stomach from the sight of him with someone else. Someone that wasn’t you.

Everyone had gotten up and peeked through the window to see what you and Chan were looking at, and then they all looked towards you to gauge your reaction and anticipate your next move. Minho must’ve sensed your sudden lack of confidence because he held the remainder of his drink out to you and waited for you to take it before he spoke softly.

“Remember what I said, y/n.” he clicked his tongue. “You deserve happiness. You deserve love. You deserve him. Now go get him.”

The jealousy that sat idly in your bloodstream flared to life as you downed your drink without a problem, barely tasting the whiskey on your tongue while your eyes followed Jisung. You nodded at Minho’s words, but your feet refused to move.

This was it.

This was what you came here for.

This is what pulled you off your couch and dragged you to this nightclub without a second thought, without a single care at to what you looked like and what the outcome could’ve been. 

Maybe you should’ve changed your clothes.

This was what your heart ached for,

He was what your heart aced for.

And it was time to get him back.

You nodded your head again as you felt the alcohol coat your system with a new wave of confidence. You took a deep breath before you glanced to your right where Seungmin was sipping on his glass of expensive vodka through a straw.

Before he could react, you pulled the glass from his hand and tilted your head back, chugging as much of it back as you could.

“Oh, that’s not-” Seungmin paused and watched in awe as you downed the entire glass. “That’s not water.” he finished quietly to himself as you handed him the empty glass and wiped the corners of your mouth, letting the vodka give you that extra boost you needed to get your feet moving.

Satisfied, you turned on your heel and walked away from your friends without another word. Despite the excitement that still hung in the air at Jo and Chans announcement, all nine of them shotued and cheered for you as you made your way out of the VIP area and down to find Jisung, causing others to send weird looks your way.

Your feet seemed to be moving in double time as you became more and more determined, pushing through the waves of people and making your way to the bathrooms, desperately hoping Jisung would still be in the area.

You weren’t about to lose you chance again.

You’d fight the girl with your bare fists if you had to; anything for another chance.

As the alcohol settled in your system, you felt your head grow tipsy, boosting your confidence impossible more. The crowd grew more and more dispersed the closer you got to the bathrooms, making it easier to breathe.

Easier to find exactly who you were looking for.

He was hard to miss.

He had the girl pushed up against the wall near the corner. Her hands were running ravenously over his body; up his back, across his shoulders, into his hair and down again. His face was buried into the crook fo her neck and her smile was blissful even in the dim light as he sucked and bit at her skin.

Upon seeing him in this compromising position, you almost blushed and turned away to leave them be, accepting the fact that he’d moved on from you, but you noticed quickly that Chan had been right. Jisungs hands were planted firmly against the wall he had her up against, and his body was rigid, still, as if he wasn’t enjoying himself in the slightest. That was enough to make you stay. 

He was wearing one of his infamous sleeveless shirts, black and worn out and distressed, much like yours was, and fitted black jeans. His silver-blonde hair that you’d seen online in the comeback trailer was long and messy, sweat causing it to stick up and out in all directions while the girls hands tugged and pulled at it.

The way his shirt hugged his broad shoulders made his back muscles extremely visible, his honey-colored biceps and forearms flexing deliciously as the pressure he applied to the wall rose and fell in time with his heavy breathing. The shirt clung to his body, slick with sweat, exposing his thin waist.

He looked absolutely delectable.

You watched as the girl raised one of her bare legs and wrapped it around his hips, a moan escaping her lips as she tried to pull him closer to her. It was the most dramatic, unnattractive sound you’d ever heard and you sensed she was most likely doing it for his benefit rather than her own, attempting to gt him to touch her, but he resisted.

You felt a surged of pride as you noted it. Yes, you trusted Chan and everything he told you, but seeing it with your own two eyes made it more real, more special.

Jisung didn’t want anyone but you, refused to touch anyone but you.

It made you shudder in delight.

Then, as if on cue, the most delicious groan you’ve ever heard escaped from Jisung’s throat, causing a shiver to shoot up your spine.

“Bubby,” he whined, his voice hot with lust as he practically cried. “Y/n, please.”

That was all you needed to hear; the only thing that sent you flying towards the two at full speed before you could even register what was happening.

He didn’t want her, he wanted Bubs.

He wanted you.

With more confidence than you’ve had all night, you walked right up behind him and laced your fingers into the belt loop of his jeans. In one swift motion, you whirled him off of the girl and pushed him into the corner, caging him with your arms on either side of his face.

You ignored the girl’s confused huffs of anger as Jisung was ripped from her grasp, and pressed your body against him in all the right places, your leg inserting itself between his, your lips coming up to whisper in his ear.

Jisung wasn’t sure what had happened. One minute he was sucking the neck of a girl he didn’t bother learning the name of, doing everything he could to block the image of you from his mind, and the next he was being pushed into a corner.

His first drunken instinct was to fight against whoever it was who overpowered him, which was futile given how much alcohol he’d consumed already, concluding it was probably one of the bouncers looking to throw him out for god knows what this time. But, when he was met with your familiar scent, when the lavender and vanilla hit his senses at full force, his body nearly shut down. When your soft, sweet voice whispered into his ear, the voice that always seemed to bring him back home, he went nearly limp with relief.

“I’m right here Sung. Bubs is here.” you had whispered against his earlobe.

Immediately, his arms wrapped around your waist as your words hit him. For the first time in almost a year and a half, he felt like he was being saved, like he was waking from a dream, a nightmare.

He felt as if he had been spacebound for decades and your voice was the tether he needed to bring him back to earth. Like he had been drowning for an eternity and your voice alone was all he needed to breach the surface and breathe in the oxygen that was you.

He inhaled and slowly opened his eyes, terrified that he’d come face to face with a total stranger, someone who smelled and sounded exactly like you, the love of his life, but wasn’t.

When his eyes slitted open and they found yours staring back at him with nothing but adoration and lover and wonder, his arms tightened impossibly more around you and he practically lost his breath.

With your hair pulled into the remnants of a messy bun, dark bags under your eyes from lack of sleep, the small mole on your left cheek that matched his almost too perfectly, he thought you looked absolutely stunning.

The freckles that scattered across your nose and cheeks like stars in the night sky, the shirt, his shirt, hanging off your body, your shorts barely poking out from beneath the hem, the fucking converse on your feet.

No one could ever compare.

Maybe it was the alcohol swimming through his system, or simply just the lights from the club behind you, but he swore you had an angelic glow.

His savior.

You had come back for him.

Despite the overwhelming amount of happiness that poured into his bloodstream at just the sight of you alone, despite never feeling so relieved in his entire life, his face turned downwards into a scowl as he made eye contact with you.

He didn’t mean for it, but he wanted, needed, to protect his heart.

“What are you doing here y/n?”

His eyes burned into yours. You could tell by the fire in them that he was still mad at you for everything that happened, but the grip he had on your hips and the ever-growing bulge in his pants that was pressed against your thigh told you a completely different story.

“I’m here for you, Ji.” you spoke calmly, adoringly.

Jisung let out a sarcastic laugh and shook his head as he sobered up and glanced around where you had him cornered. He was fighting an internal battle with himself and wasn’t sure which side would win. The side that was still heartbroken and furious at you for leaving and running off with a man who didn’t love you as much as he did, or the side that wanted so badly to melt into your embrace and kiss you like there was no tomorrow.

“What’s wrong? Seojun couldn’t fulfill your needs so now you’re back here looking for me to do it instead?”

Ouch. That one stung.

You expected a bad reaction from him, but nothing like that. You nearly flinched away from his words. Your first instinct was yelling at you to start a fight and let the tears slip, it’s what you were used to from Seojun after all, but Jisung wasn’t speaking maliciously, at least not completely. He had no sides of the story and you knew that.

That was the only reason you took a deep breath and forced a conversation out of your system instead of the usual screaming match you had grown accustomed to in your time away.

“That’s not what’s going on, Sung.”

“Isn’t it though? You had him and you got bored and now you’re back for me.”

He watched you through hooded eyes as you shook your head at his words, but he didn’t give you a chance to respond before he spoke up again.

“Y/n, I love you just as much as I did the day you left, probably more so now that I know what it’s like to live without you, but I vowed to myself that day that I’d never let myself be anyones second choice.”

A heartbroken sigh shattered your body at his words, causing you to shake your head even harder at what he was insinuating.

“That’s just it Jisung. You’re not my second choice.” you breathed out around the lump that was quickly forming in your throat. You exhaled a shaky breath before continuing, not missing the way his eyes widened slightly at your claim.

 “You’ve never been my second choice. You’ve always been my first. Even when I ran off with some asshole who didn’t give a flying fuck about me, when I embarked on an adventure that left me feeling nothing but lonely and empty inside, when I laid awake night after night missing home and wishing desperately I could go back, you’ve always been my first. And I tried to deny it and I tried to run away from it, but I couldn’t. I can’t anymore. You’re undeniable. You’re the only one my heart has ever belonged to. It’s been yours since day one.”

Jisung went still and silent at that, his eyes observing yours closely as he searched for any remains of doubt or skepticality in your resolve, anything that would tell him you were exaggerating or lying, but he found none.

He was suddenly hit with a brick of emotions as he found nothing but honesty and love staring back at him. He was and always would be your number one. He could see that now as clearly as he could see the universe in your eyes every damn time he looked into them.

“What are you saying y/n?” he whispered out so quietly you barely heard him.

A soft smile curled the corners of your mouth as you reached up and brushed some of his hair away from his face, trying to get a better look at his honey-colored skin and adorable brown eyes.

“I think you know exactly what I’m saying.” you whispered back in the same tone. It was a miracle the two of you heard each other at all over the loud music. But at this moment, the two of you were just lost in your own little world, everything else seemed muffled, unimportant.

A smile then pulled at Jisungs mouth, one that wasn’t mean or sarcastic or insincere. A genuine smile, and you knew at that moment you had him. You got him back, and the utter relief that shook your body was powerful enough to make your knees weak.

He was yours.

“I think I want to hear you say it,” he spoke softly, his eyes glittering in anticipation. “But please, please, don’t say it unless you absolutely one-hundred percent mean it. I can’t go through this again. I can’t lose you again.” he begged.

You dimpled at him, taking your hands off the wall and reaching to tangle your fingers in the long, soft hair that sat at the nape of his neck. You gave him a grin and shook your head in awe.

“I love you Jisung.”

He seemed to be holding his breath as he waited patiently for the words to leave your mouth, because once they did, a sigh of relief left his lips and his head fell forward to rest on your shoulder, his arms hugging you closer to his body. He nuzzled his nose against the skin of your neck, inhaling slowly as he tried to relax his frantic heartbeat.

“Say it again,” he whispered, causing a giggle to leave your chest as you held him close to you.

“I love you Ji.” you told him again.

You could feel him smiling against the skin of your neck as he took another deep breath, inhaling the very essence of you.

“Again,” he begged, relishing in the way the words left your mouth so prettily, in the way it made goosebumps rise along his arms and legs, in the way it filled him with so much joy and happines he felt like he could outshine the sun.

You let out a laugh at his persistent request, but complied anyways, tears forming in your eyes and threatening to pool down your cheeks from the sheer happiness filling your veins.

“I’m in love with you, Sungie.”

He pulled away from your neck and lifted a hand from your hips to hold your face. Tears of joy and relief were falling down his puffy cheeks and his thumb wiped at yours as your own tears began to fall just from the sight of him.

“One more time?”

You giggled again, your head leaning into the warmth of his touch.

You’d tell him as many times as you needed to for him to believe it.

“Jisung Han, I fucking lo-”

You never got a chance to finish your sentence before his lips connected with yours as he spun the two of you around, caging you in the corner and encasing you in everything that was him.

The kiss was gentle and sweet, full of love and devotion and longing. Even though his lips were pressed against yours roughly, they felt feather-light, and you sighed into the feeling.

It finally felt like you had come home.

Jisung smiled against your lips once you finally opened your mouth to take a breath, and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue in. The second your tongues touched, it was like fireworks had gone off inside your body.

Every nerve ending in your tongue, in your mouth, in your entire being was on high alert as the two of you slowly and sensually explored each other. You could feel every inch of his tongue as it grazed across yours. The little sparks of electricity that poured from his hands that were holding you so gentle made you feel alive for the first time in months, years even.

When the two of you inevitable had to pull away, breathless and dazed from the intensity of your actions, Jisung leaned his forehead against yours and opened his eyes slightly to stare at you.

“That should’ve been our first kiss,” he whispered as his arms folded around you once more. He was squeezing you tightly, as if he was afraid you’d drift away the second he stopped touching you, and you loved the feeling of it.

“I love you so much, Princess.”

You glanced up at him briefly before you pulled him in closer to you once more, connecting your lips with his in another kiss.

The time, the kiss was hot and desperate, the neediness practically rolling off the two of you in waves. All the years of longing glances, sexual tension, titillating banter and subtle flirting had led up to this moment. The invisible chord that tethered you two together seemed to have finally been pulled past it’s limit and snapped, brining you two closer than ever before.

Jisung slightly bent his legs, his mouth never breaking contact with yours, and wrapped his arms around your thighs, picking you up and pushing you harder into the corner.

As if you had been doing it for years, your legs automatically wrapped around his tiny waist, his pelvis pushing against yours while his chest pinned you to the wall. His fingers were softly stroking the crevice just beneath where your butt ended and your legs began, causing your body to ignite with want.

You ran your fingers through his hair and tugged on the ends gently, pulling away from his lips, a small string of saliva connected yours to his. Jisungs mouth chased you as you went, causing you to softly laugh. You had to put a hand on his shoulder and nudge him to get him to relax and take a breath.

“Wanna get out of here?” You asked breathlessly, your eyes darting from his eyes, back down to his mouth and then back up again.

Like you were a drug he was addicted to, Jisung couldn’t keep his lips off your skin. He planted soft kisses all across your face as you spoke, from your cheek, to your chin, to your nose, and finally back to your lips once more.

“Yeah?” he asked back, taking a moment to stare at you nervously. He bit his lip as you nodded your head yes eagerly.

“Yeah.” you confirmed. Jisung took one of his hands from where he was supporting your ass and brushed a few baby hairs away from your face.

“Are you sure?” he asked, causing you to roll your eyes and let out a laugh in response.

“Just fucking take me home Jisung.” you begged. Jisung smiled at your request and helped you to your feet again. He held onto your elbow as you struggled to regain your composure from the heated kisses the two of you exchanged.

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”

And with that, with his hand on the small of your back, he took you home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist || @sungshineworld @collisvng @ihrtlix @queen-in-the-shadows @cassidymb121

Previous Part || Next Part

[itsseohannbin]

Hannji Rambles / Another Life Update

hiiii Pookies!!

Hope everyone is doing well and taking care of themselves!!!

I'm just popping in with a quick life update (cause apparently I'm having a lot of those lately) to kind of let everyone know what's been going on lately.

I know I said a couple weeks ago that I was ready to come back to tumblr and begin posting again, and I am, however, there's been a bit of a change of plans in regards to me starting up my writing/posting fics again.

Because I have been put on a temporary stress leave by my family doctor for the next couple weeks, I'm trying to reduce the amount of stress/triggers in my life until my next appointment, where I will be reassessed to determine if I'm fit to go back to work or not. I want to continue writing and posting because writing has always been a strong outlet for me to relieve stress and clear my brain when the noise gets too much, however, I need to make changes to what I will posting in order to help keep my stress levels under control.

SO,

that being said, I will be posting the remaining few parts/chapters of Like A Volcano (for all my Hannie stans out there who are ever so patiently waiting), BUT at this time, I will not be writing/posting a Jisung POV for this fic. I wanted to, and I was super excited to write a part in his pov, but I've been struggling with writing it for the last few months and it's really put a damper on my already not-so-good mental state. Maybe in the future, I will upload a snippet, but since the idea of creating a Jisung POV for LAV is causing more stress than it's worth, it will be put on the backburner for the time being. I AM SORRY FOR THOSE WHO WERE WANTING IT I JUST CANNOT WORK WITH IT RN!

However, the last few parts will be edited/revised and posted in the coming week-ish so I can finally put that fic to rest and start up The Blackened Heart again bc I am so so excited to start writing that again!

In addition to the Jisung POV being scraped (for the time being), I am also putting a halt on the LAV spinoffs I had in the works (Connected, which is the Chan x Jo spin off, and Waiting For Us, which is the Minho x Ash spin off) simply because both of them are causing more tension and stress than necessary.. I don't like it when writing feels like it's becoming a chore, I'd rather write stuff that I'm excited to write and post, and that entire AU series has quickly become the opposite of what I want to do... I will be coming back to them eventually, but as of right now, I need to do what I can to alleviate the amount of distress in my life, and that means putting LAV/Connected/WFU on hold.

I am happy to say I will be continuing my commission for the lovely @bethanysnow that I've been slowly working on while I get back into the swing of things, ((beth baby i am so sorry its taking so long im just really struggling right now so please bear with me :( )) and I'm of course still writing drabbles, fake!text posts, and my OT8 "The L Word" series.

Thank you all for the never-ending support and love I'm still receiving from a lot of you despite my inactiveness. Just know I read every single one of your comments, reblogs, and things that you all tag me in. I am still very much here in spirit, just slowly working my way back up to being a fully functional human being

In the meantime, as some of you may already know, I am starting a small business where I make beaded keychains, rings, lanyards, bracelets and more. Beading has very quickly become a safe haven for me and its very therapeutic to just sit for hours watching tv and making stuff to eventually sell. I am starting up an instagram account specifically for this business called Hannji's Creations, so if you're interested in what I'm making and such, feel free to give me a follow over there. I'm making a lot of SKZ themed stuff, however, I'm also opening up ideas for other kpop groups and other styled collections in general.

Thank you again to everyone who has stuck around and checked in on me these last few months. I know life can be tough sometimes, and lately I'm having a hard time getting back up somedays, but you guys all make it more bearable, so thank you. thank you for your continuous understanding and unconditional love..

You guys are awesome!

can't wait to show you all what's in store!!

Much Love,

Hannji <3

[itsseohannbin]

What's new in Hannji-town?!

Soooo, I decided to indulge myself (& my never-ending obsession with my first mini series LAV) and add a brand new, never-been-read before part to Like A Volcano!! As sad as I was to lose my entire blog, I'm happy I've been given the opportunity to go back and make changes and add scenes I've been wanting to add since I first originally posted it. I'm going to hopefully start that tonight, so keep an eye out for the next part!

I am also going to be posting The L Word later tonight when I am home, and if you haven't seen my Masterlist yet, just know that The L Word is actually going to be turned into a small Drabble series where each member will have their own lil fic on their first 'I love you' with reader and I'm very excited for it all!

Additionally, I am working on a special commission for one of my Pookies @bethanysnow, and I'm very excited to share it with you all. It's kind of like a Modern-Day Cinderella with !SurpriseMember! x Plus-sized Reader. I've been having so SO much fun bouncing around ideas with her and creating a fic that's very personal and very special and very dear to my heart with someone so incredible and cool. So please watch out for that, as it should be coming out fairly soon.

I am also working on the current pieces of work...

- Like A Volcano Part 4/5/6/??

- A 'Facemask Fiasco' Seungmin Drabble that's cute and fluffy and a little smutty too

- Connected (BC x Reader Spinoff of LAV)

- Waiting For Us (LK x Reader Spinoff of LAV)

- The Blackened Heart (Pirate Thief Jisung x Pirate Skz BFF x Reader). PLEASE NOTE this series is on hold and will not be reposted until LAV is finished!!!

Again, thank you all so much for your patience and support while I try to rebuild the infamous its-hannjisung blog. You guys have been amazing and I appreciate every single one of you so so SO much.

See you guys soon for the next post!!

Lots of love,

Hannji ♡