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madokasoratsugu · 4 years ago

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therefore you and me post-production notes (or: murphy’s law as a project that has been two years in the making)

ive had this idea for ‘therefore you and me’ and Fritz ever since i first played CindPhenon. nothing ever fell into place until i played Evermore though, so here we are!

drafting this project was pretty easy tbh (see: hubris). the parallel imagery and everything about the lyrics was right up my alley aha.

fun thing with the lyrics: TadanoCo uses ‘要る (iru)’ in the line ‘Which do you want (iru)? Or do you want neither (iranai; aka negative form of ‘iru’)?’

‘ 要る ‘ as a verb can mean ‘to be wanted’ or ‘to be needed’.

hence, the line can also be read: ‘Which do you need? Or do you need neither?” or any other variation of the verb’s usage.

it’s halfway through drawing the lineart that murphy’s law began. 1) i drew ~15 panels on the wrong dimensions, and had to redraw them all (lol), re-grey tone (LOL), and re-ink (LOLOL). it was not a fun three days.

then i lost momentum because of lunar new year (happy late lunar new year btw! happy year of the ox :”) )

anyway: the moment i regained momentum for the project again, i hit a roadblock in the form of overconfident, sloppy drafting (see: hubris is my downfall).

because of the lack of clear drafting for certain panels (and changes to previous panels), i had to redraft two different sections of the PV while keeping in mind that there was the bridge still to be drafted. fun !

i decided to simplify the bridge. can you believe it was supposed to be another animation. i can’t. so i scrapped it.

(slight tangent. Evermore’s release honestly cleared up a lot of uncertainty regarding the direction of the PV and whether or not to include Fritz’s mother (who I still fondly call Beatrice). im really happy the PV never came to fruition before Evermore’s release, as im not sure i would have done half as good a job without Evermore’s content.)

back to the hubris of proceeding with a messy draft - there was a lot of push and pull internally for me as to how much i should keep to the original PV and how much i should just put my spin on things. i ended up doing a bit of half-and-half, i think.

but really, it only delayed things as i ended up redrafting and having multiple drafts of certain panels haha//

the last two choruses were honestly my favourite parts to draw. the shift from Varg’s clothes and colours to Fritz, Fritz’s acceptance of Varg and the soft way Varg looks at Fritz (and no one else). there’s something cathartic about acceptance and acknowledgement. i think that’s what i aimed to really capture.

also: in between drawing all the panels, murphy’s law 2) my Evermore itchio game file ? got deleted off my computer ?

it’s a very old, barely functional brick so im lowkey unsurprised but at the same time it was a crazy experience and setback when i needed to reference certain scenes. oh, and Steam decided to not download Evermore too. i still haven’t fixed that one. haha. ha.

i have screenshot posters to thank for uploads of certain CGs, although im still pretty sure its best not to post a ton of those publicly at one shot?

also, i had to scrap the recreation of the famous ‘did you love Varg’ scene because of this aha. looking back now, i think it worked out.

(another tangent: using referencing as an excuse, i actually took the opportunity to replay Fritz’s route for the third time. i ended up checking nothing at all and falling in love with the masquerade scene again.)

up till the very end, im still not sure if everyone got that the line “You are love itself.” was meant to be said by Lucette to Fritz. i colour-coded Lucette with her own unique blue for the PV, which was the same hue as the line. i hope that it got across, aha.

with that said, video production was a whole entanglement in and of itself. i think murphy’s law really took up a hammer and swung hard at this stage.

timing was actual hell. im usually not this bad at it, but this project in particular was tricky bc TadanoCo uses a lot of background beats that aren’t overt, which his PV also matches - i think? or maybe im just not good at recognising beats from lack of video/music production haha//

hence there were certain scenes i was stuck at and kept revising because i wasnt clear where the beat was meant to be, what transitions i should use, and when the transitions should be.

subtitling was actually really fun! until i rendered my first version and realised all the subtitles were completely off and blurry.

turns out my project properties were different from my video properties, hence the off-alignment. huh. didnt know those were Actual Things(tm).

also, quick tip to all vid-making amateurs like me out there: you may have to double the dimensions of the font’s media properties if you dont want them to come out fuzzy. another thing i didnt know lol.

anyway all this lead to: me needing to spend another evening to redo subtitles. haha. it was not a fun two back-to-back 3am nights + extra evening afterward.

in between all this was countless rendering tests to guess-and-check what’s causing numerous errors in the video btw.

and with those rendering tests came: glaring mistakes in the panel art that i only now spotted and had to fix, and refix, and refix again. then reimport into sony vegas, put it into the video, render and double check if it’s alright. rinse and repeat countless times ! haha ! PV making is fun !

i think i nearly redid a certain scene with the exact same panels once. like i said: not a fun two 3am nights.

that said: i dont know how all this technical issues (and more) popped up and were resolved over two 3am nights and one evening. im not about to question it either.

at this point: panel art - fixed ! subtitling all redone ! render works fine, everything checks out.

i make the mistake of uploading it directly to yt instead of leaving it unlisted first.

murphy’s law 3) when im watching the vid on yt, the yellow parts in the second verse were completely unable to be seen.

panic put it on unlisted. people are already watching it and leaving (very sweet) comments. panic delete it.

btw if you’re one of the first three commenters reading this: thank you for the quick response !! it means a lot and made me really flustered in a good way :”))

cue me re-colouring those scenes, redo-ing the section and oops, is that a panel in the masquerade scene where Fritz literally is missing his mask ???

i think i lost my mind entirely at this point. from then on i was fueled by spite to complete this cursed project.

at thereforeFINAL.mp4, (version five of the full PV, version maybe 10-11 of all the rendered videos, including tests) finally. finally it is done.

i upload it.

the end !

(except, not really. because here you are at post-production notes detailing the worst luck i’ve ever had with PV making.

i learnt a lot from this though, and honestly on hindsight i should have learnt all these from my first PV but nothing went wrong at this magnitude so i kinda just...shelved it aha//

but really, im relieved it turned out well, and that i took the time to redo scenes until i was satisfied. for a PV that’s been waiting in the background for two years now, i think this is the least it deserves.

if the comic about Fritz and Varg (which i referenced in one of the last choruses, i wonder if anyone caught that?) was meant to be a love letter to Fritz’s route, i think this PV ought to be a tribute to the character himself.

although - hm, this isn’t quite as good a tribute to Fritz as it is to his route, maybe? i don’t know, haha ! maybe it’s just myself wanting to make excuses to create more for him//

i was thinking of continuing on about the PV and it’s significance to Fritz and Varg, but hm. maybe not on this post. maybe some other one, some other time.

but at it’s core, at it’s simplest, most raw - i think i just wanted to explore what it means to Fritz to ‘want’ and to ‘need’ with this PV.

thank you for watching the PV, and thank you for reading this.

- blu.)

#linear notes #notes #bluh bluh text #long post

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lsmithart · 5 years ago

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Research: Louise Bourgeois

I have found that Louise Bourgeois has been a key contextual reference for me throughout my practice this year. As I tap further into the symbolic aspects of art practice and the ways in which I can reflect this within my own work, I have started to pick up on even more links between my thoughts and Bourgeois’ work. I sometimes find that I get a bit lost in my work as there are many aspects to it at once. I enjoy working like this as it helps me to consider the ways in which joined narratives can be formed through different layers and aspects. It is therefore reassuring that Bourgeois’ work is very similar in this regard, often consisting of many different mediums and crossing over between varied contexts that exist within one main narrative. Due to lockdown, I have been unable to carry out any further research in library books into references within Bourgeois’ work that are inspirational for my current practice. However I do own a few books about her so have picked out examples of work from these that I feel are most fitting for this project.

Taken from the book ‘Autobiographical Prints’. I thought these bore some similarity to my dream paintings due to their simplistic-documentary style. They are also singularly toned which I think really helps to strip them back to producing a narrative, rather than for aesthetic purposes:

Taken from ‘Louise Bourgeois’ by Frances Morris which, rather helpfully hosts A-Z examples of themes and key terms covered within Bourgeois work, e.g. ‘couples’, ‘childhood’, ‘dreams’ etc.:

“I Do, I Undo, I Redo” - Bourgeois

“It’s that anxiety is then transformed into something specific, as specific as a drawing. Then you have access to it, you can deal with it, because it has gone from unconscious to the conscious, which is fear. So my work is really based on the elimination of fears” - Louise Bourgeois (Interview with Cecilia Blomberg, 1998) - Turning dreams and nightmares, fear, anxiety and feelings that eat away into tangible entities.

Arch of hysteria - originates from the Greek word hystera = womb. Bourgeois sculptures of these represent pain and pleasure.

Bourgeois’ ideas relating to architecture as a personification of the human condition and other themes were expressed in her first environmental installation of sculpture at Peridot Gallery in 1949. In her second installation three in 1950, her sculptures referenced architectural forms, e.g. Figure Carrying Her House.

“There’s always a component of anger in beauty”. - Herkenhoff, Schwartzman and Storr, 2003.

“The Cells represent different types of pain: the physical, the emotional, the psychological; the mental and the intellectual. But the question is, when does emotion become physical? When does the physical become emotional? It’s a circle going round and round... Each Cell deals with the pleasure of the voyeur, the thrill of looking and being looked at. The Cells either attract or repel each other. There is this urge to integrate, mere or disintegrate.” - ‘On Cells’, in Cooke and Francis, 1991 (p.60)

“Red is the colour of blood. Red is the colour of insistence. Red is the colour of paint. Red is the colour of violence. Red is the colour of danger. Red is the colour of shame. Red is the colour of jealousy. Red is the colour of grudges. Red is the colour of blame.” - Colours are representative of emotions and things. There is symbolic importance of this within my work.

“Bourgeois’ importance for contemporary artists is indisputable and invaluable. She has disavowed interest in the political dimensions of art, yet her own work is profoundly political in the best sense: it draws us into a space in which the dynamics of power and surrender, of gender identity, the circumscription of the body, and relation to the mother are unavoidable.”

“I am afraid to lose control of things and that people will abandon me or will separate themselves from me” - Bourgeois

Couples: The couples in Bourgeois’ work of 2001-4 are small-scale, embracing tightly and tenderly and often suspended (e.g. Couple, 2001). Suspension of this kind suggests great fragility; the couple revolves (as in Spiral Woman, 1984). “This obsession with the couple, which emerges late in her life, is a sign of ambivalence towards erotic impulses found in her works, which oscillate between attraction and repulsion.” This theme includes the need for love and tenderness, fear of abandonment and an acknowledgement (despite everything) of the benefits of living life as part of a couple.

Couple IV, 1997 - The moment when a child first witnesses their parents having intercourse. The colour black and faceless nature of this sculpture representing something long gone.

Le Defi, 1991. ‘Defiance’ presents a taxonomy of memory. Glass objects all once owned by Bourgeois. The vessels are now empty and functionless. An exposure of the vulnerable interior.

“The abstract drawings come from a deep need to achieve peace, rest and sleep. They relate to unconscious memories [in contract, the realistic drawings represent the] overcoming of negative memory, the need to erase and to get rid of it.” -Bourgeois, 1997.

Symbolic sculptures relating to childhood and parents:

Cell (Choisy), 1990-3

Deconstruction of the Father, 1974

Body Parts:

Top: Give or Take, 2002; Bottom: White Torso, 1968

Left: Fragile Goddess, 1970; Right: Harmless Woman, 1969

REFERENCES:

Bourgeois, L., et al., (2016). Louise Bourgeois: Autobiographical Prints. Hayward Publishing. Morris, F., et al., (2007). Louise Bourgeois. Tate Publishing (UK).

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retrowarriors · 8 years ago

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Remembering Working Designs

A tribute to non-literal translations and over-the-top packaging

By: Chris Saturn

I’ll always remember my 23rd birthday. It was the first year that I lived alone. No roommates, no girlfriends, no family. Just me and a small rabbit with apparent anxiety disorders named Ephraim. I couldn’t talk my way into getting the day off of work, but I did have the following three days off and a plan on how to spend them. Square-Enix had given me the gift of re-releasing one of my all-time favorite games right on my birthday. I’d stopped by the Electronics Boutique on my way home from work and picked up my copy of Final Fantasy IV Advance and went home to enjoy a long mid-week weekend. Before starting the game, though, I powered up the ol’ internet-machine to catch up on my message boards and the day’s news. That’s when I saw the headline: “Working Designs Officially Dead.”

The news hit hard. A week that was meant to be filled with happy nostalgia was instead clouded over with the knowledge that a big chapter just closed in the history of video gaming, and that several people in one of the most open and transparent video game companies were now unemployed. Even now, nearly twelve years later, I look bad with sadness when I remember that day. Fortunately, thanks in a large part to the transparency provided by Working Designs and its president, Victor Ireland, we don’t have to ask how it happened.

First, let’s rewind a bit; many people may not remember Working Designs. Gamers outside of North America may have never even heard of them. So let’s pause and reflect on what it was that made Working Designs such an important component of the history of video game localization.

Though I played some of Working Designs’ early releases on the TurboGrafx, they first caught my attention with the first release of what is arguably their signature franchise: the Sega CD game Lunar: The Silver Star. As a fan of JRPGs like Dragon Warrior and Final Fantasy, I was always looking for something new. The US market wasn’t oversaturated with the genre like Japan was, so western fans had to hunt for their next fix. The Sega CD market wasn’t exactly a crowded space, so Lunar definitely stood out. Anime cutscenes, voice acting, and 80’s style hair metal? Sign me up. Pushing past those first impressions, the part of the game that truly stood out was something I’d not really focused on in past JRPGs: the script.

Out were the thees, thys, and thous of Dragon Warrior. In were references to MTV and The Simpsons. This wasn’t some stuffy tale of knights and dragons, this was something relatable. Something like I’d seen on TV and in movies. As the years went on, I greedily snatched up anything I could find with that pink gradient logo. Though the games varied wildly by genre, they all had at least the one thing in common. No matter the tone, the setting, or the gameplay, they all had Working Designs’ trademark tongue-piercing-fully-through-the-cheek translations.

In the early days of gaming, few considered localization to be important at all. If the players could figure the game out, that was good enough. Although looking at Castlevania II, I don’t think they were even up to that standard. Many younger gamers didn’t even realize games were originally from other countries, and just accepted the broken, machine-language as a staple of video games. Then came this company out of Redding, California who not only put a ton of effort into translating their games, but into making the script fun to read.

As the sun was setting on the Sega era and Sony was rising to prominence, Working Designs followed the money over to the PlayStation. Big name games like Final Fantasy VII turned the JRPG from a niche genre to a behemoth international industry. Despite their high quality translations, Victor Ireland and his team needed a way to stand out. In a move that seemed bizarre at the time, Working Designs became one of the first companies to offer special Collector’s Edition packages. Several of their Sega games came with foil-embossed covers, but they truly went above and beyond on their PlayStation games. The 32-bit reimagining of the first Lunar game came in an oversized box that included the game (with limited, randomly selected art on the discs), a soundtrack, a behind-the-scenes documentary, a leatherette hardbound artbook/instruction manual, and a full cloth map! The second PlayStation Lunar game even included a full replica gold pendant, as seen in the game! It was probably imitation gold, but with Working Designs… it’s hard to say for sure.

As the PS1 era drew to a close, Working Designs seemed to predict the downturn in popularity of the JRPG and started to diversify their portfolio, mostly with shmups and games about mechs. While these never sold at quite the level of their JRPG offerings, the commitment to quality was as present as ever. Games like RayStorm, Gungriffon Blaze, and Silpheed: The Lost Planet all featured signature Working Designs quality localizations and even had foil-embossed covers.

Despite my heavy praise, the company certainly wasn’t without its critics. Many in the budding online JRPG community were concerned about the loose quality of Working Designs localizations. What original flavor text was omitted so that they could squeeze in a Who Wants to Be a Millionaire reference? Would it have added more to the flavor of the world if Ruby hadn’t referenced Beavis and Butthead? As many fans as there were of Working Designs topical references and not-so-sly humor, there were plenty who pointed out how quickly the games would appear dated, an argument that certainly appears to hold true today.

Another attack frequently lobbed at the company was their, shall we say, lack of commitment to punctuality. It wasn’t uncommon for Working Designs games to be delayed by months or even years from their originally planned ship date. These delays were often unrelated to the games themselves, and often were caused by an inability to find a partner to produce their increasingly extravagant bonus items at the quality that would satisfy Victor Ireland. Delays in making the cloth maps for Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete grew so excessive that Working Designs shipped playable demo discs of the first several hours of the game to retailers to hold-over fans who’d pre-ordered. Alongside those demos came a now infamous punching puppet doll of an in-game character, an item that surely couldn’t have led to further delays or costs.

This over-commitment to quality and value, alongside their malleable relationship with release dates, ultimately led to Working Designs’ demise. The western JRPG market became flooded in the late 90s and early 2000s, and Working Designs’ attempts to stand out ended up costing far more than they could earn. Their releases were too few and too far between to compete in an increasingly aggressive market. Their final product was to be a translation of Konami’s PS2 Goemon title under the localized name Mystical Ninja Goemon. Despite getting approval from Konami, Sony’s US division placed increasingly impossible standards on the game, critiquing the graphics and interface. Having already poured so many of their few remaining resources into the game, they desperately tried to meet Sony’s standards to no avail. Over a year after their final release, the days of Working Designs ended with a fizzle.

It’s easy to see the influence Working Designs has had on the video game industry. Special collector’s edition items have become commonplace, and colorful localizations are found everywhere from The Legend of Zelda referencing doge memes to Final Fantasy XIV referencing the music of Wham. The people of Working Designs spread across the industry, as well as to other industries. Victor Ireland has formed a new company, Gaijinworks, that is equally devoted to bringing over Japanese games with high quality translations, and equally devoted to ignoring whole pages of calendars. Ashley Angel, the voice of Lunar’s Alex, went on to a briefly successful career as a winner of ABC’s Making the Band and became the frontman of the MTV-backed boy band, O-Town.

Looking back at that day in 2005, I still feel somber. The loss of a smaller, but still influential name in video gaming has left wounds that haven’t yet healed. Companies like XSEED and NIS America (as well as Ireland’s own Gaijinworks) have taken up the mantle of localizing and publishing lesser known Japanese titles, but none have quite had the charm and spirit that Working Designs showcased in its prime. The industry may have grown and matured, but I’ll always hold a warm spot in my heart for that time when a small group of people in California could introduce me to the lesser known games that might otherwise have gotten lost in translation.

#Working Designs #Video Games #Translations

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yespoetry · 6 years ago

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An Interview with Joshua Byron & Chariot Birthday Wish on Queerness and Art

By Joshua Byron & Chariot Birthday Wish

Editor’s Note: grammar and punctuation aesthetic have been largely preserved for authenticity and tone.

Joshua: We are chatting and checking in with each other on the 4th of July, a honeysuckled day of nostalgia, dogmatism, and fear. I recently began releasing a webseries Trans Monogamist with Alfredo Franco and Artless Media and Chariot Birthday Wish recently released his new book of poetry, hot pearl.

J: How is the weather in Philadelphia- if that's where you are now; it's so hot here in New York. I was invited to a million things but part of me just wants to try and drink some iced coffee and lay down and watch a Derek Jarman movie or something. Perform that kind of tired queerness.

I wanted to talk about your poetry, and your latest work, and also how your work maybe functions as haiku. I was reading Barthes on haiku recently who idolized haiku as a sort of perfect form. The perfect image, something that collapses time inward. And that makes me think of your work- a collapsed inward image. But also like, fun and bubbly. Effervescent.

C: It’s hot in, sticky in philadelphia, i am currently home now. were in the humid thunderstorm loop here but i dont think a storm is going to break for another few days. im going to go smoke weed on mikayla’s roof later today, other then that i've been playing katamari and drinking ice water while drawing all day.

people mention haiku to me a lot, because i write small, few word poems, with a focus on natural imagery. I honestly don’t read much haiku, and wouldn’t site it as a direct source of inspiration, or say that ive studied the form. i do think my work resonates with a similar drive and spirit of haiku though, and i hold a dear reverence for the form.

i love that quote “the perfect image” and “something that collapses time inward” my intent of form for writing poems is absolutely trying to expand a space, a moment, an emotion, memory, as wide and deep as possible with as few words as i possibly can. i really focus a lot on creating complete and whole worlds inside my poems, but its subtle because they are such small poems. my work has a lot of play in it, i think my tone of voice always has an air of play to it.

J: I think for me I think of the succinctness of your work, more so than scale. Sometimes your work even if it isn't about apocalypse, feels very tied to that, the event, the feeling, the fear, the expression of it and often I think your work has mechanical feelings in it, these references to the Matrix or like using human concepts in regards to natural things. I think a lot of some of your work that lists desires and those desires bend to human concepts, not natural ones.

I think that the bubbling of your work feels like it could go on forever, like how do you decide to end a poem or even a collection? In hot pearl or hell ship or i love you, here's a gigantic worm?

C: yes ! i think most of my work, comes from a place of constant consideration of apocalypse. And consideration of technology ! ive always been really inspired by and into sci-fi, cyberpunk ie: the matrix. i love to reference technology for sure. interweaving technology into nature and natural images, one function of that for me is about desire. desire for connection, for access. i think about texting my friends from the middle of the woods, and the simultaneous understanding of the link to earth + self, emotionally and also physically! But I also do think that technology and mechanics are a part of nature, and “the natural world.”

humans are a part of nature and we created these things. there’s this Bjork quote where she says that “You can use pro tools and still be pagan”. I’m really into the idea of using technology as tools of divination and holy connection with nature. I imagine a scene; being in moss, it’s absolute bliss, and then the connection of texting, sharing an image of moss with a friend, sharing that moment through cellular towers, and then that sneaking sense of apocalypse like earth Is going to melt.

and knowing that those moments of sharing and experiencing the absolute magic and heavenly nature of is not going to be possible anymore because humans are melting earth. I’m trying to hold all of these goods things weighted with that, the frantic fear of losing something so special. Its very cyberpunk to me. and then yeah !!!! its driven by desire! if i think of it now, a have a lot of poems that say “i want”i want so much...

with books, I usually decide on a number of pages first its very straight forward. im like okay this book is going to be 20 pages or 100 pages. with poems, if i read it and i have my emotions and vision echoed back to me, then its done ! I try to make myself cry, and I am always trying to write what I think is the perfect poem. i do try to spend a collective hour editing each poem, but usually i just know when its done. Not to be obtuse.

J: How do you think desire plays a role in the work that you do?

Your work has such striking images - things I think are (I hate this word) but striking and original. I'm thinking of even the word "hell ship" for instance or "hot pearl," the fag poem, "superintendent of the golf course," "my flowering boyhouse," and the specificity of the "i want.”

The images feel free from societal cliches and expectations, like a weaving of a fantasy world. I don't know if I have a question, I mostly just wanted to say that. It seems just very sprung from your mind, very specific. It's not that there aren't poetic traditions that predate or intertwine with yours, but I think in some ways it feels very Greek (Sappho, perhaps?) in its directness, in its wink, in its boldness.

I also wanted to hear you speak on the fag poem, it feels so essential and tears me apart.

C: i love to meditate on the feeling of desire, and feel desire. i also think that the reason i make art comes from a similar part in my emotional body as my desire. its an expression of that desire, as well as a manifestation of desire, i really long to create art and i love to make art about desire. its such a full and intricate emotion.

Recently I read a definition of “eros” as the opposite of “death wish” the antithesis of the call of the void, that eros is an absolute will to live and desire to experience. That’s the well of desire I channel my creativity through. which i think relates a lot to your mention of sappho. i read a lot of sappho, her voice and her form (specifically too how we just have fragments of her poems, and what that does to the form of her work) has something that i draw a lot of inspiration from. absolutely the way she, and other translations of greek text (ive been reading the iliad for 2 years).

i do also 100% imagine all of my poetry to take place in a specific and complete realm, in a fantasy world. that idea, of creating a whole separate place, lexicon, and memeplex was one of my first visions and drives as a poet.

the fag poem: i also started it with wanting to write "a fag anthem" which is not usually how i write poems, with a specific thesis for the poem. its an ode to faggots, a faggot declaration, but one from a place of reclamation driven by pain.

J: How do phones play a role in your life or your poetry? Your poems do include references to downloading pics of horses, or texting in the woods, or just texting or staring even. but i also wonder about the idea of writing on phones and what that means poetically and structurally.

What is your relationship to social media and Instagram? it mystifies me! you have a following and i wonder how that feels and how that is tied up in art-making, glo worm, distribution, and if it matters to you or if you have any feelings of community or fracture over how the internet works? In regards to the above, what are your thoughts on looks, or pulling looks? The politics, the aesthetics, the joys of looks? Are you pro look? Anti-look?

C: its a little trick of mine to add a reference to a phone in a poem. i think that phones are so intimate. i have an intimate relationship to my phone, and theyre magically little devices. i try to capture that magic when referencing "downloading pictures of horses" or looking at pictures of birds on your phone. thats also tied to apocalypse though, sometimes im writing from a space of thinking about animal extinction, when certain animals are gone and but we still have access to photos of them on the archive of the internet. our phones being a connection to that archive.

i love social media. i love connection ! im def in the camp of holding closer to the positives of social media, outside of my paranoia about facebook and the surveillance state and like, influencers, etc. i just want to share my art with people and reach people. it feels good to be connected with people who like my art and to be an artist. i can unpack that for hours though.

There are times when being seen, and watched by a following is overwhelming. I think there can be a tendency for people to view you just as the single dimension of what they see online. I def have an online persona, and have built an image, altho thats also complicated and confusing because that image and persona is not a lie, just a crystallization of parts of myself. but I don’t really concern myself too much with that anymore. People can see me how they want. I am highly protective of parts of myself and my life

i love looks. i got into art as a kid because i wanted to be a fashion designer. as a transsexual gay faggot virgo born the week of beauty, aesthetics are very important to me ! in that, the play and fantasy of looks are important to me. i do believe that aesthetics are empty. especially in this year of 2019. and i think holding that in mind can create buoyancy for the play of looks, of pulling a look. its about fantasy and expression. i also find power in it. recently to combat my social anxiety, ill wear elf ears to non-costume events, as it subverts my paranoia of being stared at for being a fag freak. i like giving people a reason to stare at me, a fag freak.

J: Tell me about your influences. Who gives you visions? Tell me about the knife? tell me about Keanu Reeves, the Matrix, and your celebrity icons?

C: Techno music gives me visions, the ocean gives me visions, the forest, the planets give me visions. Bjork gives me visions, Bruce Springsteen, Gregg Araki, Wong Kar Wei, Anohni, Greek mythology, Faggots and their Friends Between Revolutions, Kazuko Shiraishi, the color red, the color blue, Cocteau Twins, dream pop, pop music, Brokeback Mountain.

to me, the knife, is a perfect vision of pop +freakdom + communism + mysticism. Its apocalyptic gay communist dance music, deeply mystic lyrics. it's everything I search for in art in one project, I cannot believe the knife.

the Matrix, simply to me, is about following your destiny. to me it's about actualizing the godly calling, your godly calling, your vision for yourself. it's so virgo, bringing together the celestial and the earth.

Keanu is just so beautiful; i think it's a trans guy thing. me and him have very similar birth charts. i love my playful relationship with celebrity icons. i feel tepid to "stan" people and celebrities. Icons are false, kill your idols, blah blah blah. but its a gay thing also to have icons, and its a part of that fantasy.

J: Talk more about elf ears and giving people a reason to look at you?

C: id just rather give people something truly freaky to look out, rather than just the spectacle of my visibly trans body. its a transsexual thing for me for sure, or like informed by my medicalized trans body, modifying my body, fantasy cyborg, morphing my tool (my body)!

J: Are there any other body mods that really seem exciting?

Did you have a spiritual upbringing or have any spiritual practices now?

What does healing the earth look like to you?

What does healing self and community look like to you?

C: i love getting pierced recently..also obviously tattoos, as a tattoo artist and someone who gets tattoos. if they knew how to dick surgery good i would do that. maybe someday theyll get it. im getting top surgery this year.

i was loosely raised catholic. i do candle magic and ritualistic intention setting.

full ! communist ! revolution now ! fully paid reparations ! returning stolen land back to its people ! and high tech cleaning of the oceans, permaculture, rebuilding of the rainforests. returning Nikola Tesla’s ideas and designs back to the people.

community looks like responsibility. I’ve been thinking recently about how self healing happens with community healing, and when you put your time and heart into community, it heals your heart. I think we’re deep in a culture of individualistic healing, and it’s alienating. Workers of the world unite.

Chariot: what is your relationship to fantasy ? idle cosmopolitan, your first mini series, is full of ghosts, tarot readings, an alternate world. it felt like it was brushing against a suggestion of magic, also the way time + space is expressed in the series, it has a morphing quality. trans monogamist doesn't really carry those themes through, besides the astral projection class ( a little hint at the magic” is there still fantasy in this second work ?

J: I think for me I don't see Idle Cosmopolitan as that fantastical; how hard is it to believe a world with spirits of some kind? Even if they aren't expressed the way they are expressed in fantasy novels or TV. The everydayness of magic. For me, fantasy is similar to queerness in that it means possibility. Hope. Optimism through pain. Most fantasy is born through quests and pain, the classic Arthurian tale.

I think for me, that's the root of it. I read so much fantasy when I was kid. I was obsessed with Arthurian lore, castles, Pokemon, Digimon, the Green Knight, all of it. I think that Trans Monogamist is fantastical in some ways, I've heard Broad City described as a fantastical NYC, as has SATC and almost any show about people in NYC. So in that sense, yeah. Where every corner has people to date. And of course, while I do exist as a NB Carrie Bradshaw in real life, that concept is a sort of fantasy of its own.

C: What’s your relationship to technology and that aspect of film-making?

J: Technology worries me. I read Carceral Capitalism last summer and felt worried, as always, by the rise of surveillance and predictive policing. I think I understand why some people chose paths of craft over content, but I also don't think it's always a strict binary.

But to be fair, at a certain point you can often only know so much about one or the other. You can focus on learning more and more about craft and technology and lenses or you can focus on plot, characters, drama... Or you can do both! I just don't know that many people who end up able to do both. It's a lot of effort and time and money just to do that learning. I do think there are cracks for the light in technology to come forth. It's how we met! But I find myself often pessimistic about it. But I don't want to come across as a technology grump either. I can be modern occasionally.

C: do you think you are expressing a part your self through the main characters of your work? you act as both of them, i wonder what your relationship to self portrait is? if the self insert is significant or, how is that self insert significant to you? is it that no one else could properly portrays these characters?

J: I definitely think of my work as self-portraiture. I think part of it just that I'm making work about things that I go through, I'm making work DIY, and it can be easier (and harder) to self direct. It's also, of course, cheaper, than trying to find someone else and guide them to a place you feel deeply. I think for a while I felt uncomfortable about appearing in my own work but now I"m pretty numb to it. It just sort of feels like the kind of work that I'm making now. I think it felt required. If we're thinking of the path, we're thinking of flow, it just felt like the next step in making art.

Also, for me, it's important to make work specific and not too broad. I want to talk about what my queerness, what my life is like, and I don't want to speak for someone else at all.

C: what is your process like for writing, and editing your video work? you're a workaholic right? can you talk about that process ? your relationship to that?

J: I am such a workaholic. I mean we are doing writing work on the 4th of July!! I have three projects in different stages right now. Video work is usually much more collaborative. There's a free fall element to not having all the control. It's scary and it's also how I push myself to not be a total control freak and to push myself to be a better artist. I do believe in community and collaboration I just also have an intense drive to sort of speed through things and make and create and there's certainly an element of capitalism that has infused me with needing to DO things. It's not my best quality!

But it also is a strength. I like to create! And sometimes that urge is so strong that sometimes I do need to do things alone. I think it's important to balance collaborative work with solo work, you need outlets! So sometimes I write alone, sometimes I don't. My video work often involves at least 16 people in the cast. And Trans Monogamist was all about co writing and co starring with Alfredo Franco and having Artless Media being such a big guiding and production force.

C: What’s your relationship to tropes and pop?

J: I think I love tropes, astrology, SATC quizzes, all of those kinds of things. I think the boxes we fit in or don't fit in both do and don't speak about our personhood. Sometimes we put too much stock into them, sometimes too little.

Queer tropes of course are such a fundamental part of online queer culture and also can be so toxic but also very healing! I think the way queer culture fractures and floats online definitely influences my work, but I try to engage playfully. There are things in queer online culture I feel serious about- in terms of supporting funds that support black trans woman or fundraisers for surgeries. But in terms of other queer iconographies and categories I try to just absorb and play. I think little of my online presence has to do with replicating those memes or ideas.

If anything it's about crafting my own identity that picks apart at random things like Carrie, an occasional look. Trans Monogamist definitely skates around and jokes a lot about types of gays while also recognizing that RIver is their own type of gay and while River jokes about hating gay graphic designers or art gays, River is an art gay. It's just that claiming identity feels scary to River, so they sort of dash over or around it and try and just be a person. Someone described TM as a show that tries hard to categorize people.

I don't know how I fit. I'm an art gay I guess. Nonbinary sometimes seems to be ascribed its own internet aesthetic but I don't know how i fit in that or don't. If anything I think there are certain binaries of queerness that I do identify on.

C: What trope am I?

J: You're definitely an alt-art gay as well, but on a different side of things? There's def a type of gay that does tattoos, is trans, loves communism, and cowboy imagery.

C: right, what you said also got me thinking about tropes as language, theyre identifying words, and that shapes our understandings of ourselves and our experiences. and there is so much play i think, in queer culture between collective experience and personal experience.

J: I think I worry a bit about the ways we seem to gravitate towards locks and keys as ways of conceptualizing identity. And yet, I do that! So who am I to say that? I think it's best to let everyone feel their identity the way they feel it, even if that's not how I feel it. Right? What does that hurt/what does it heal? It certainly heals someone else and probably doesn't hurt me, excluding hatred, of course. Plus, sometimes someone's experience or a collective's experience help us- we say that's me! or that's definitely not me!

C: can you say more about territory? how does pop, or mass culture, bring us into territory?

J: What's the difference between populist and popular? Is there one? Can something that's populist be destructive, can it be healing? Is liking what the people like somehow revolutionary or is it bad? Are we as a people healing bending towards justice or not? It's a tricky counter situation. Plenty of things we probably think are good are considered bad, and vice versa. so sometimes seems revolutionary and sometimes doesn't.

But it does remind me of the way Bergman is against symbolism-reading in his work, Susan Sontag's against interpretation, Patti Smith's writing about not trying to read a message into literature. I'm not sure i wholly agree, but the idea of the sign as uninterpretable or as a mirror is interesting. Of course these are also mostly people with a romantic idea of art and plenty of people believe in interpreting art and for good reason. Works can be about race, class, gender, etc., and also have images that can't be broken down. It can be both.

Joshua Byron is a nonbinary storyteller based in Brooklyn. Their work includes the webseries Trans Monogamist co-created with Alfredo Franco and Artless Media, Idle Cosmopolitan with Glo Worm Press, as well as the zine Sincere Hate. Previously they have written dating columns and lyrical essays for Bushwick Daily, the Body Is Not An Apology, Yes Poetry, and more. Their films have been screened at Sarah Lawrence College, the Indianapolis LGBT Film Festival, Secret Project Robot, and more. They love Ursula K LeGuin, rose soap, and lots of coffee.

chariot wish is an artist and angel living in philadelphia. theyve seen the matrix 28 times in 2 years and love horses.

#Joshua Byron #interview #chariot wish

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themoneybuff-blog · 7 years ago

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The proactive homeowner: How to stay on top of home improvement

Yesterday was an exciting day at the Rothwards household! After three weeks of demolition and construction, we installed our new hot tub. It took six men an hour of maneuvering before we managed to set the spa into placebut we did it. And we didnt break anything. Now its a matter of completing the decking and roofing, then Kim and I will be able to enjoy our remodeled outdoor oasis!

Were eager for construction to be over. Since buying our English cottage last summer, weve poured tons of money and time into a variety of renovations. Its been a non-stop construction zone. You see, during the seventeen years the previous owners lived here, they performed very little maintenance and upkeep on the home and property. When we had the place inspected before purchase, the inspector raised a lot of concerns:

The inspection report was so dire that Kim and I almost passed on the purchase. After we did decide to buy the place, I vowed that Id be a proactive homeowner. Instead of allowing things to fall into a state of disrepair, I wanted to fix everything that was broken and then stay on top of home improvement in the years to come. Today I want to share four specific actions Ive taken to try to be a proactive homeowner. Develop a Schedule for Regular Maintenance A great place to start with home improvement is to find (or create) a regular maintenance schedule. While youll definitely have projects specific to your own house (about which more in a moment), there are certain chores that ought to be done on a routine basis. Here in Oregon, for instance, gutters should be cleaned both at the start and the end of the rainy season (late October and late April). Spring is a good time to wash windows, inside and out. Its also time to clean and set up outdoor furniture. During the summer, I like to trim trees and shrubs back from the side of the house. Fall is a good time to inspect the attic and crawlspace. To create our maintenance schedule, I started with this home maintenance checklist [Google Doc] based on an article from The Art of Manliness. I tweaked the document to fit our needs, adding and removing things specific to our home. Ive also discovered that its useful to add certain recurring tasks to my digital calendar. (Im never going to remember to change the furnace filter unless I make an appointment with myself to do so.) Create a House-Specific To-Do List

While its helpful to have a general maintenance schedule to remind you of regular tasks, its even more important to keep an up-to-date to-do list thats specific to your home. I keep our to-do list in Basecamp, a web-based project-management tool that I already use for other projects. (Ive heard good things about Asana too, although Ive never used it.) You might keep your to-do list in a spreadsheet or even a spiral notebook. For each room in the house and area of the property, I keep a separate list of tasks that need to be completed. To start, I populated these lists in two ways: I went through the pre-purchase inspection report and added every problem the inspector had flagged. Some of the stuff he noted was minor. In these cases, I made sure to mark the task as low priority.Kim and I made a slow tour of our home and yard in order to catalog other projects we wanted to complete. For example, every room in the house needs new paint. Every corner of the yard needs to be weeded and re-landscaped. We refer to our to-do list constantly. Whenever we have a free weekend for home maintenance (as we did last weekendand this coming weekend), we check the list to see which tasks are most pressing and/or most appealing. Finally and this is important (if somewhat obvious) whenever we find a new project that needs to be tackled, we add it to our list. By keeping our home projects to-do list up to date, needed maintenance should never be neglected. Keep a Home Journal Before we even moved in to our current home, I started keeping a home journal to log everything we learned about the place. Honestly, its one of the smartest things Ive ever done. I keep this home journal in a Microsoft Word document. (Ive uploaded an edited version to Google Docs for you all to look at.) Every time we do major work on the house, I make an entry in the journal. Every time we discover something new about the property, I make a note in the journal. Heres a typical entry from my home journal:

Each note includes a date and the type of work done, then a narrative description giving more detail. In some cases, I document costs. Most of the time, however, we keep receipts and invoices and other documentation in a dedicated Dropbox folder, which is where the home journal lives too. This journal is mostly meant for me. From past experience, I know that Ill forget what work we did when, which usually leads to a frustrating search for documentation. With my home journal, I have all of the needed info in one place. This home journal has a secondary purpose. I want to use it as documentation if/when Kim and I decide to sell this place. I want to be able to show prospective buyers all of the upgrades we made to the house. (Note that this benefit is purely theoretical. When we sold our motorhome recently, we learned that many buyers view work like this as evidence theres something wrong with what youre selling.) On a similar note, its smart to perform periodic video tours of your home and property. These are useful not only for you but also in the event of an insured loss, such as robbery or house fire. When shopping for a house, I film every home I tour. After buying and moving into a new place, I do another pass through with the camera. Going forward, I try to do a video tour about once per year. Build a List of Trusted Contractors Over the past fifteen years, Ive learned that contractors come in all kinds of flavors. Some are cheap. Some are fast. Some do quality work. Ive also learned that its impossible to find a contractor that possesses all three traits. Two of them? Sure. But not all three. (In other words, if a contractor is fast and high-quality, shes going to be expensive.) When we started looking for homes last Spring, my friend Emma Pattee who has experience buying and remodeling rental properties suggested that I start a spreadsheet to list trusted contractors. My husband and I have done this for a while now, she told me, and it really helps. When we find somebody we like to work with (or think we might want to work with in the future), we add them to the spreadsheet. Ill send you our current list, if youd like. Kim and I have referenced Emmas spreadsheet to find plumbers and electricians. Weve also started building our own list of contractors we trust. (For instance, we love the guy who did our carport. We hired him to do our back deck project too. Hes not cheap, but his quality is amazing!) Even with a list of trusted contractors, its important to follow standard advice when hiring folks to work on your place: Get price quotes from multiple sources. Its smart to know what your options are even if you ultimately dont go with the lowest bidder.Seek referrals. When youre ready to hire somebody for a project, ask your friends (Facebook is good for this) and contractors youve liked in the past. Ive found that good contractors know who the other good contractors are, and theyre happy to recommend them.Ask for references. If you havent worked with a contractor before, request contact info from past clients. These references will be cherry picked, of course, but theyll still give you some idea of what the company is like.Check reviews on Angies List (or similar sites). View these reviews through skeptical eyes, but check to see if theres some sort of pattern. Ive been able to rule out potential contractors, for instance, because of multiple reviews complaining about lack of communication. Searching for new contractors can be a little scary. You dont want to make a mistake by choosing somebody whos too expensive or whose work is shoddy. (Or, worse, both at once!) By maintaining a list of trusted vendors, you can reduce some of the trepidation. Plus, the list is something useful you can share with friends and family! Theres No Place Like Home I also think its smart to set aside money for future repairs and improvements. One common financial rule of thumb is to contribute 1% of your homes value to a dedicated home maintenance savings account each year. After Kim and I are done with this initial round of work, well probably do so. The deck and hot tub project should be our final large home-improvement expense for many, many years. During the past eleven months, weve repaired and/or replaced every major system in this house. Sure, theres still some small stuff that needs done we want to paint each room, for instance but these jobs are minor. Theyre things we can do ourselves for cheap. Honestly, Im looking forward to some peace and quiet. Its been exhausting to live and work in a construction zone! First, though, Im going to have our house inspected again. After plowing so many resources into repairing and renovating this place, I want to have a neutral third party go back through to make sure weve addressed all of the important issues and that these issues have been handled correctly. As frustrating (and expensive) as the past year has been, we dont regret buying this house. We love it here. We want to continue loving this place, which means were going to do our best to stay on top of maintenance and home improvements. Were going to do our best to be proactive homeowners. https://www.getrichslowly.org/home-improvement/

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