#LOOK AT THAT LITTLE SWOOPY SOFT HAIR!! LOOK AT HIS BEARD!! LOOK AT THE JAW!!

[somedaytakethetime]

Everyone say thank you to this French barber for delivering content that our King could never 😌

[janeblr]

body hcs that nobody asked for, I’m just articulating them so it’s easier for me to visualize my silly little scenarios

vanya: biiiig guy. 6’5 of well insulated muscle. thick thighssssssss tree trunk arms tits and belly. High cheekbones and the quintessential big ass nose. Used to keep his hair really neat but now it’s kind of shaggy because he’s too cheap to go to a barber and just cuts it himself. Dirty blonde. AUGHmy big man 💗💗💗

al: college quarterback after three years in a frat. Lean, strong, but a little soft around the edges. Ass is 10/10. Tan skin with freckles, still a bit of a baby face. Bottle blonde to fit in with his European family lol. His hair is a little floppy but with some gel it sits nice. He has a poppy tattooed on his inner wrist!

Gil: saddest most pathetic frail little man. Literally looks like he’s dying because he is! Silvery hair is kind of thin and lifeless these days, there’s not much warmth in his cheeks, and he’s constantly covered in bruises from falling or whacking himself into things by accident. Crooked nose from fighting so much. He’s too shaky to shave himself and Erzsi is the only person he trusts to pt a razor to his throat so if she’s not around he gets kind of scruffy. And fine I’ll say it he was in a Camp and has a tattoo to show for it.

Erzsi: r/fit lady… does CrossFit and jogs like 10 miles a day. Killer muscle definition and abs of steel. A bit lacking in the boob department but nobody’s perfect and Gil has always been an ass man so it’s okay. Gorgeous dark brown hair and a prominent nose. Sculpted cheekbones and thinner lips. All in all a pretty angular appearance that’s still distinctly feminine.

Katya: STRONG GIRL! FARM! She’s a lot of woman…. Yes she is tall. Yes she is strong. Yes she is fat. Hourglass figure with body for dayssssss. Her face is pretty round but she’s still got those high cheekbones and rosebud lips. Prominent nose but not like Ivan’s. She has nipple piercings! Her hair is a pretty silvery blonde and she keeps it short so she can just put it back with a bandana.

Mattie: Big guy. Think hockey player in hibernation. Im so tired of people twinkifying Matthew and I will not stand for it!!! Also a bottle blonde but more vigilant about his roots than Alfred. Also tan skin but not as warm as his brother. The wavy hair was a gift from his papa but his curl pattern has been fried by bleach over the last few decades. Blessed and cursed by hockey player ass

Ber: built for endurance! Strong and stocky, like he could chop up firewood like a breeze AND keep you warm at night. Second tallest nord!c. Not glaring but squinting 24/7 because he needs new glasses but he’s too cheap to buy them lol. Stick straight straw blonde hair that he can’t do much with besides brush back and pray it stays. Little rainbow tattoo behind his left ear. Keeps a neat beard in the winter.

Ti: hurhfhfjdkjfkdjfj plump. Like there’s no other way to put it the guy is just fat. Still very strong but you wouldn’t know it looking at him. Built like a moomintroll. Very proud of how he looks except that he’s got a round face and can’t grow a beard which makes him look like less of a threat like no motherfucker I’ll kill you!! Pretty blonde hair that can do this nice swoopy thing to stay out of his face. Tits >>>

Mads: triangle man!!! Broad shoulders, defined muscle, taper down into a small waist. Strong arms and legs. Freckles aaaaall over that really pop out when he gets some sun. Strawberry blonde hair that sticks straight up so he’s learned to embrace it. Nose is crooked from being punched in the face a few too many times. Sharp defined jaw so he doesn’t like to hide it with facial hair.

Lu: *deep breath* CHUBBY LUKAS SUPREMACY!!! Stop Kate Mossifying my boy he takes Thorazine and it made him fat. He’s on the indoorsy side so although he does exercise some he’s not as muscular as Mads, Ber, or Ti. Platinum blonde hair he straightens and pins back because otherwise the waves are just too much. He would have defined cheekbones and jaw if his face wasn’t chubby lol. Thin lips and a thin, sharp nose.

Eirí: scrawny lil kid. The shortest nord!c. Not much substance to him at all so he dresses in somewhat baggy clothes to make him look bigger. Silvery blonde hair that he straightens like his brother. Occasional issues with acne and miserable volcanic pimples so he’s got some ice pick scarring. Same sharp nose and thin lips as his brother.

Feliks: Skinny queen, fairly toned but generally model-type thin. Soft blonde hair around his shoulders. Prominent nose and thin lips. Scarred up a lot over the last millennia.

Vi: Also scrawny, but you can tell that he used to be strong.

Sorry ladies the klonopin is hitting hard I can’t finish the post