#Lea Schuller

[katelynnwrites]

who's afraid of little old me? | lea schüller

warnings: slight homophobia and angst but with a happy ending

word count: 791

summary: you're far from perfect but lea loves you for it

a/n: the fifth installation of my 'the anthology' blurbs series

feral was the word your teachers used to describe you as, all untidiness and chaos.

you know your parents would describe you similarly, if you spoke to them anymore.

your girlfriend, lea, is the complete opposite. always neat and polite.

she is patient too, one of the many reasons she is such a brilliant striker. she can be counted on to wait for the precise moment to do what she is so well known for.

but her patience is also for you.

your parents hate you for being gay, hers accepted her wholeheartedly.

accepted you too, once the blonde introduced you as her partner.

it had scared you terribly at first, given you so much anxiety that this would be the second family you lose but lea soothes it all easily with sweet, gentle words of reassurance and love.

the german woman always knows the right words to say to you. how to calm you down is practically her special talent, given that she is the only person in the world who can do so.

she’s level headed and cool under pressure. once again the complete opposite of you, off the pitch.

you have your father’s temper and on occasion, your mother’s mean streak. both of their characteristics had greatly shaped your childhood.

it was an angry household that you grew up in, one that you have done everything to escape.

but the effects, despite your best efforts, linger.

you yell when you are scared and cornered. you’d rather deal with everything on your own, no matter how much you are struggling, than ask for help.

it took lea a while to figure you out.

to learn that you don’t intend on hurting her but rather, don’t know how else to react.

so it’s with patience that she teaches you to talk to her, to let her help you instead of shutting her out.

to let you know that she doesn’t expect anything in return because she loves you.

you and all your imperfections.

the way your parents raised you made you think that you owed someone every time they did something for you but your lea shows you otherwise.

she never asks for anything in return. only hopes that you let her love you and be there for you.

so you do. even if it means relearning things you have done your entire life.

you will let down your guard for lea because you love her too.

the bayern munich player has never caged you, never hurt you and never called you crazy, like a lot of people did when you were growing up.

you’re by no means an easy person to like. you’ve never made friends easily.

it had taken a few months for you to become at home, with the rest of your teammates.

you’re cold and clinical on the pitch and that’s the only side of you the fans see so you understand why you’re not a favourite like the blonde.

you can be mean and you can be petty. lea doesn’t have a selfish bone in her body.

in fact, you’re actually quite sure that a resentful thought has never once crossed her mind.

for you, showing kindness had to be learnt. it is innate in the german forward and with every day that she is by your side, she shows you that you can learn it.

it’s because of her influence that you snap less at people and instead, laugh a lot more with them.

you will never understand why lea with her beautiful blue eyes and bright smile that lights up anyone’s day fell for you like she did and chooses over and over again to love you.

it makes you the luckiest person in the world.

you know that most people who don’t know you, think of you as intimidating. with opponents, it’s in your favour so you are okay with it.

but lea’s never thought so.

‘who’s afraid of little old me?’ you used to think to yourself as you grew up in your loud and angry house.

you kept the peace there at the expense of your own, pushing down your emotions just so you didn’t upset others.

lea’s shown you that you don’t need to do that anymore.

she won’t leave you. not when you are happy or content and certainly not when you are mad or anxious.

so ‘who’s afraid of little old me?’

it’s not lea. your lea’s never been and never will be.

instead, she sees the best in you.

with soft kisses and steady affection, nights spent safely in her arms and dates where your love for her only grows, the striker brings it out, so that the rest of the world can see it too.

[glimmerofawesome]

[nelove22]

My friends, since ea sports probably will not put any new woso cards in the fc24 anymore, I guess my team is finally completed! was so funny to build the team during the season and the so many players I tested.

this is my (possible) completed team:

[alexbkrieger13]

[soccer-love]

It's the anon that ask would you write a lea Schuller one here is my request maybe reader left to join Wolfsburg and lea stopped talking to her and now they are coming up against each other and lea refused to shake readers hand and they get into a pushing match after reader made a tackle on resder at end of game lea and resder alogised and ask reader out and kisses her

Why did you leave?

Lea Schüller x reader

Lea couldn't remember what happened. 

She wasn't even sure if anything happened?

She just remembered that suddenly and without any warning, your couch announce that you ended your contract and would leave to Wolfsburg. 

And the day you left, when she wanted to say goodbye and she walked down the street to your apartment, she saw your black car pulling out of the driveway and driving away. 

At that moment, she felt something die inside her. 

Your old team mates wondered why you left, of curse Wolfsburg was one of the best German clubs, probably one of the best in Europe, but they knew that you loved Munich. 

That you loved your team. 

But maybe, everything was just an illusion. 

Maybe you didn't love it as much, as they thought you did. 

Days passed by and turned into weeks, weeks into months. 

And before she knew, one year had past. 

One birthday, one Christmas, one season of soccer, had passed by without you. 

Even the European women’s championship, passed without you, because of an injury you got shortly after leaving to Wolfsburg.

And Lea felt herself moving on, she could fall asleep at night, without asking herself what you were probably doing in that moment, she could walk past your favorite coffee shop, without asking herself if you’d still love Latte with Oatmilk and one cube of sugar. She could run through the Olympic Park, without having to remember the times you sat there, daydreaming about your future with her. 

She moved on. 

But sometimes, she had moments where she missed you so much, it felt like someone stopped her heart with a knife. And then she looked back at the pictures, she had still saved on her phone. 

Memories of the things you did together. Memories of you. 

And then almost one year and three months, after you left, she heart the news. 

Bayern was going to play a friendly against Wolfsburg in less than two weeks.  

“Finally, I really want to see Y/N again.” Laura cheered as they talked about the upcoming game in the looker room after practice. 

“Yeah me too, I haven't seen her in like four months.” Lina agreed, not noticing Leas confused look. 

“How do you mean that?” 

“What?” Lina asked, turning around to face Lea. 

“That you haven't seen her in four months.” 

“Like that I last saw her, four moths ago when I visited her in Wolfsburg.” Lina answers, completely confused. 

“Wait she....she still talks with you?” Lea asks, almost the whole team stopped with what they were doing, confuse by Leas question. 

“Yeah, she's still talking with a lot of us.” Sarah cuts in and then she realizes what was going on. “Wait she doesn't talk to you anymore?” 

“She stopped the day she left.” Lea whispers, tears forming in her eyes. 

The first one to walk over and pull her into a hug, was Klara, because she exactly knew how much the forward, liked you. 

She let Lea, hold onto her, crying on her shoulder, about the fact, that you continued to talk to everyone. 

Everyone except her. 

Slowly, the other team mates came closer and it turned into a big group hug.

Everyone could feel the pain that came from the normally so strong forward. 

------

The match, was hold in Wolfsburg, but without viewers. 

Mostly because it's only a small game, what they want to use to analyze what the players can do better during the games. 

Lea thought she would feel sad, when she saw you but she wasn't. 

She felt absolutely nothing. 

Not even when she saw you joking around with your new team mates during warm up. 

And when both teams assembled in the tunnel, ready to walk out for the game and she stands next to you, only separated by a couple of meters of air, she fels nothing. 

She just stares at the back of Caro’s head in front of her. 

When they walk out, she shakes everybody's hand, but when it’s your turn, she just walks past you, ignoring the disappointed look on your face. 

During the first half of the game, you barely have any contact with her, since she was a forward and you're a defender. 

In the 58 Minute, the Bayern players managed to get trough the defenders and Lina Magull scores a goal. 

Only seven minutes later, Ewa Pajor managed to score a goal for Wolfsburg. 

After the normal time is up they give five minutes extra time. 

One minute is left as the Bayern players again get passt the defenders, well past everyone but one.

Lea got a perfect pass from Caro and run towards the box and was about to shoot the ball, when Y/N run towards her. 

Y/N kicked the ball away, but accidentally hit Leas foot, forcing her to trip over Y/N. 

“Are you insane?” Lea shouts, suddenly feeling anger burning inside of her. 

“You could have fucking inured me.” Lea adds, getting up within seconds and shooting a angry look at Y/N. 

“Sorry I-” 

“Stop fucking apologizing.” Lea cut Y/N off, the defender tried to walk closer to Lea, asking her to calm her down. 

Lea grabbed Y/N by her shoulders and pushed her away, suddenly not just being angry about the foul, but about everything that happened in the last year.

Or rather everything that didn't happened.  

Y/N was about to fight back, when she suddenly felt two arms around her body. 

Poppi knew the young defender longe enough to know that it would be better for both, Lea and Y/N, to hold her back. 

Obi and Linda apparently had the same idea, both of them holding Lea back from killing Y/N. 

The referee, gave Y/N a red card for the foul, which means she had to leave the pitch. 

And of curse they also noticed Lea pushing Y/N away, so they gave her a yellow card too. 

“Fuck you.” Y/N mutters as she leaves the pitch. 

The Bayern team gets a box kick but they don't score another goal before the game finishes. 

“What was up with you, out there?” Obi asks as she gets to Lea, confused by Leas behavior when she got fouled. 

“Just seeing her, makes me wanna hit her.” Lea mutters under her breath.

“Why? What happened between you two?” 

Lea stops her walk towards the locker room, turning towards her best friend. 

“She left, without saying why, without saying goodbye. But apparently she continued talking to everyone, except me. She just cut me out of her live.” Lea says, her voice turning from angry into sadness. 

“That sucks.” Obi gives her a soft hug before pulling away. 

“Lets get chanced.” They separate at the locker rooms, Lea going with the other Bayern players. Obi following her team mates from Wolfsburg. 

Y/N was the first one to leave the locker room again, but she just waited around the corner, keeping an eye at the door to the locker room of the other team, hoping to see Lea. 

She watched many of the players coming out, but not Lea. 

One of the last one to come out, was Giulia and she noticed Y/N. 

“She’s still in there, the only one left.” she said , looking at the door to the locker room before looking back at Y/N. “You should talk to her.” 

After Giulia went away, Y/N took a deep breath before knocking on the door. 

No one answered. 

“Lea?” Y/N asks as she opens the door. 

The sound of her name coming from you, something she missed so much, forced Lea to look up. 

Her eyes meet yours and suddenly, after being calm for so many minutes, she felt all of her feelings rushing back trough her body. 

Anger, disappointment, fear but also love. 

“Are..are you okay?” It was the first thing that came to your mind that you could say without sounding like an asshole. 

But she still got it wrong. 

“You are an ass, Y/N Y/L/N.” she stood up, walking towards you and before you could do anything she slapped the younger girl across the face. 

“You come her, after months, no after a year of not talking to me and all you do is asking me if I’m okay, after you almost injured me. So no I’m not okay.” Lea shouted, hitting Y/N with her fist on the shoulder, pushing her back against the wall. 

“I’m sorry.” Y/N whispered, pulling Lea against her, knowing that this was one of the best ways to calm her down. 

“No, no.” Lea fights back, trying to get away from Y/N, tears rushing down her face. 

“I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.” Lea repeated these words, over and over again. 

But at the same time, she feelt herself, stopping to fight back against Y/N, letting the defender pull her into her arms as they sink onto the floor. 

“I hate you.” Lea whispers, her crying slowly stopsing. 

“Why the hell did you leave?” she looked up, again meeting Y/N eyes. 

“I can't-” 

“No, don't give me some stupid excuse. You just, you left without saying anything. And then one year later, I hear that you still talk to anyone except me. I thought we were friends, so don't give me some stupid excuse, just tell me.” 

“Because I love you.” Y/N said without thinking, but it was the truth. 

“I was...no I’am still so in love with you and I...I just couldn't live with that, it hurt me so much to se you everyday, to be friends with you and knowing that you would never be mine. But when I left, it just hurt so much more.” The defender explained, her hand on Leas shoulder, their faces only inches apart. 

“God you are such an idiot.” Lea said, her hand finding Y/N neck. “Because I love you so fucking much and you never noticed.” 

Y/N didn't know what to do, she just sat there, Lea wrapped in her arms, completely caught off guard by the fact that Lea loves her too. 

She loves her too.

“Just kiss me!” Lea demanded, pulling her former teammate against her, into a soft kiss. 

Lea knew that this kiss wouldn't just magically rebuild the relationship that they had, wouldn't set there timer back, to the moments a year ago when everything was still good the way it was. 

But she felt something heal inside of her, like someone softly put a plaster over the wounds in her heart. 

“Why are we so dump?” Y/N whispers, leaning her forehead against Leas. 

“Never leave me again, okay? I wouldn't survive it to loose you again.” 

“You won't, I promise. I swear.” 

[mapisupremacy]

[chelscait]

I GOT GEORGIA AND LEAS SIGNATUREEEEEEEEEE

jmsndisnskansns

[imverits]

[katelynnwrites]

Come Back (Be Here) | Lea Schüller

warnings: it’s definitely not my best writing but hey

word count: 674

summary: lea doesn’t want to miss you so she comes back home, to you

a/n: a short one but it’s my first time writing for lea lol

It’s pleasantly warm when you wake up and your still half asleep self groans in contentment.

There is a soft laugh but you dismiss it as a figment of your imagination. You were alone when you went to sleep and there is no reason for you not to be alone now.

Except that there is a familiar, comforting scent lingering. It’s far stronger than it should be because the unique smell of Lea, on the old shirt of hers that you are wearing has faded.

You take in a deep breath and your eyes shoot open when you realise that you are not dreaming.

‘Hey you.’ Your girlfriend greets, amusement evident in the tone of her voice.

‘Lea!’ You gasp, scrambling to push your covers off so that you can hug her.

‘Hi.’ She giggles, wrapping her arms around you immediately.

The blonde drops a fond kiss down onto the top of your head and you respond by squeezing her waist.

‘W-What are you doing here? How are you here?’ You stammer, taking the German striker in.

Her blue eyes are sparkling and she looks even more beautiful than the last time you saw her, if possible.

‘Didn’t you miss me?’

‘Of course I did.’ You answer incredulously.

‘Good because I missed you too. That’s why I left camp early.’

You blink in confusion. Martina can’t possibly have approved that?

Lea laughs at your expression and explains, ‘The last training session ended earlier than expected so we had a few hours of free time before our scheduled departure time. Instead of passing the time by doing recreational activities like what the other girls did, I left. I decided I would rather come home to you.’

You let your head rest against your lover’s chest. The tips of her shoulder length hair tickle your cheek and you whisper, ‘Lea, I fall even more in love with you every single day.’

Your girlfriend inhales sharply, ‘My love, the same goes for me.’

She eases your head up and gently presses her lips onto yours.

It is soft and sensual and tender. All the things a good kiss should be.

Affectionately, you slide your fingers into her hair and Lea deepens the kiss in response.

‘Schülli.’ You groan and she chuckles.

‘You know, it was actually far too easy to slip into bed with you. I could be anyone and you would have still continued sleeping.’

‘Shut up.’ You half heartedly complain.

How could you be annoyed with her teasing when she’s sitting beside you with a smile on her face? The same smile that is one of the reasons you are so head over heels for her?

Switching the topic before she makes you blush in embarrassment, you bite your lip as another thought occurs.

‘How long have you been here? You could have woken me up, you know?’

Your girlfriend lightly tugs your bottom lip out from under your teeth, knowing your nervous habit all too well.

‘I know but you looked so peaceful. It was only for about two hours anyway.’

‘Lea!’ You gasp. She had waited that long for you to realise her presence?

‘Seriously meine liebe. It’s all good. Your rest is important to me and I’ll never object to watching you sleep. Especially when you are wearing my clothes as you do so.’

Your heart flutters at her words and you kiss her gratefully before reaching for your phone.

The blonde frowns at the latter action.

‘What are you doing?’

You do not answer and ask a question instead, ‘When is Bayern expecting you?’

‘Tomorrow…’ Lea says, her frown intensifying when you barely glance up from the phone screen.

‘Good.’

‘Good?’ She parrots back.

‘Yeah. I’m going to call in sick and then I’m making you breakfast.’

You finally look up and your grin is contagious.

‘Really?’

‘Yes really. It’s the least I can do in return.’

Your girlfriend just about smothers you in enthusiastic kisses, making it very clear what she thinks about your idea of spending the day together.

German Translation:

meine liebe - my love

[glimmerofawesome]

[nelove22]

🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

[gurxreiten]

[itsthehopethatsavesyou]

And Lea get’s a goal tooo

[mapisupremacy]

[kyokuma]

2023-3-10     vs MSV Duisburg  

[meazalykov]

so so kind

lea schuller (platonic) x lena oberdorf (romantic) x reader

summary: your jealousy blinded you from the support you had all along

warnings: jealousy, injury

the weight of the match against wolfsburg hangs heavy on your shoulders as you step onto the pitch, the red and green spreaded across the crowd gives you motivation. 

normally, the energy from the german stands fuels you, pushes you to play harder, faster. 

but today, the noise fades into a distant hum, overshadowed by the anxiety gnawing at the edges of your mind. 

you’ve played for bayern munich frauen for a while now. it's been four years since you left arsenal as an eighteen year old, hoping to find something new outside of your childhood club. 

every time you wore a bayern kit, you felt right at home. 

but today feels different—unsettling.

lena, your girlfriend, isn’t on the field with you. her mcl and acl injuries wil her on the sidelines for nearly the entire season, and the absence of her steady presence beside you has left a void. 

ever since she transferred from wolfsburg to be closer to you, her girlfriend of three years, you were excited to have her as a teammate. a little too excited. 

when she got injured during the national break before the olympics, your heart broke for her. she is the last person to deserve that robbery.

but still, it’s more than just missing her support; it’s the knowledge that she’s out there somewhere, watching, unable to join you, unable to share the intensity of the game and having to watch instead. 

lena likes watching games, but she hates watching when she knows that she should be out there. you feel the same for her. 

as you take your position in midfield, your eyes involuntarily search for lena on the bench. she’s sitting there, her leg propped up, her gaze fixed on the pitch with a look of hope. hoping that bayern will win– you don’t think that you’ll get used to that look, considering that lena was your rival for years. 

your heart aches seeing her like this, sidelined when you know how badly she wants to be out there. 

but before you can dwell on it, you catch sight of lea standing nearby, sitting beside your taller girlfriend and laughing at something lena said. 

lea didn’t start this match, so she sat comfortably on the bench planning to watch the first half before being subbed on in the second. 

lea’s always there, isn’t she? always so close to lena, so touchy and affectionate in a way that feels foreign to you. 

it’s not that you don’t trust lena—you do, more than anything. but the friendship between lena and lea has always made you uncomfortable, even though you know it’s irrational and stupid of you to feel.

a few weeks ago, it was a casual evening at giulia’s after a long day of training. everyone was relaxed, laughing, and enjoying the moment.

 but as you stood by the kitchen, pouring yourself a drink as sydney begged for you to try a pastry that she made, you couldn’t help but notice lena and lea across the room. they were sitting close together on the couch, lena’s arm draped casually over lea’s shoulders as they talked, their heads bent close in conversation. 

they were smiling, laughing at some private joke, completely at ease in each other’s company. lea smiled brightly as lena suddenly bursted out in laughter at something. 

the sight of them like that, so comfortable and familiar with each other, sent a very sharp ache through your chest. you felt a knot form in your stomach, a mix of jealousy and insecurity tightening around your heart. suddeny, sydney’s pastry wasn’t important or on your mind. 

you knew it was irrational—lea was lena’s best friend, nothing more—but that didn’t stop the doubts from creeping in, from making you question your place in lena’s life.

you tried to shake it off, and tried to focus on sydney again, but the image of them together wouldn’t leave your mind. it felt like a dark cloud had settled over you, dulling the joy of the sunny evening. 

you forced a smile when sydney turned around from the oven and handed you the brownie in a pink napkin, pretending everything was fine, but you could feel your mood slipping, the heaviness settling in your chest as you chewed on the chocolate dessert.

too busy staring at your girlfriend and her best friend, you didn’t notice some of your closest teammates, georgia and sam, coming to sit next to you on the kitchen island. 

georgia and sam had always been perceptive when it came to your feelings. they followed your gaze to lena and lea, then looked back at you, their eyes softening with understanding.

“y/n,” sam said quietly, her voice low enough that only you could hear, “you okay?”

you nodded quickly, not trusting your voice to stay steady. 

“yeah, i’m fine,” you replied, but even you could hear the unconvincing tone in your voice. 

“come on, we can see something’s bothering you. what’s up?” georgia raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. she gently nudged your shoulder. 

you sighed, knowing there was no point in trying to hide it from them. 

“it’s just–” you couldn’t say, but instead nodded toward lena and lea. 

sam expressed an “ohh” facial expression, while georgia nodded her head. 

“i know they’re just friends, but sometimes i can’t help but feel… i don’t know– jealous? i don’t know.” 

georgia and sam followed your gaze again, watching lena and lea for a moment before turning back to you. 

“i get it,” sam kerr said softly. “but you have nothing to worry about. lena’s crazy about you, everyone who knows her can see that. and lea? she’s known lena since they played at essen. they’re close, sure, but they don’t have feelings for eachother– if i knew or suspected that i would tell you. you’re the one lena’s in love with.”

sam’s words were comforting, but the ache in your chest didn’t fully ease. “i know that,” you whispered, more to yourself than to georgia and sam. 

“it’s just hard sometimes, seeing them so affectionate like that.”

“trust me, y/n. lena’s yours, and she wouldn’t trade what you two have for anything. see– she's looking at you right now.” georgia says. 

you look over at lena and she smiles at you, waving and happy seeing you in conversation with georgia and sam– she doesn’t know what you’re talking about though. all you do is give a light smile before lena turned away to talk to tuva, who sits by lea and lena. 

“thanks, georgia and sam. you guys don’t understand how much i needed to hear that” you nodded, giving a light smile at them as you swallowed the lump in your throat. 

“anytime,” sam replied with a smile, then nudged you playfully. 

“i would suggest talking to them about it.” georgia adds on. 

“i can’t– lena’s gonna think i am a jealous insecure freak and will leave me. i can push it down, don’t worry.” you ramble. 

“don’t. that's how resentment starts. don’t be mad at me, but i think that is happening now.” georgia said with concern. 

at this point, sam gave a sympathetic smile before walking away– being called by klara in another room to check out something. 

“you think so?” you ask. 

“yes, you need to talk to them as soon as you can. now come on, let’s get back to the fun. no more people watching.”

you managed a small smile, letting her words sink in as you tried to push the insecurities aside. it worked, temporarily. 

back to the pitch– the whistle blows, signaling the start of the match, and you push everything else aside, focusing on the game. you will not let their moment affect yours here. if your mistakes from that cost you a loss for bayern, you’d risk your starting spot next game. 

for a while, you’re lost in the rhythm of the game, your focus sharp, your movements precise. you channel all your energy into the match, letting the intensity of the game distract you from everything else. the ball at your feet, the opposition pressing, the cheers from the bayern crowd—it’s all that matters in this moment.

you dribble around a few defenders in green before shooting the ball. you put your hands up when the ball reaches the back of the net– goal!

everyone gathered around you for a hug. you smiles in joy before jogging back to your spot. 

lena smiles at you and puts her hands up in her heart. you stop jogging, now walking, and put your hands up into a heart as well. a camera captures you putting up an “L” with one hand and your other hand making an “O”.. fans will obsess over this later. 

after halftime, you’re on the pitch when lea comes on. you didn’t show any emotion, hoping that lea makes an impact like she usually does on the pitch. you’ll give her that– she is a damn good striker. 

after wolfsburg conceded a corner kick, you stood by the back post. 

the ball is kicked by giulia and you unplant your feet– thinking of going for a header. 

the ball soaring through the air toward you. you leap up, determined to make the play, but lynn from wolfsburg shoves you mid-air.

it’s a hard, intentional shove, and you’re caught off balance. 

time seems to slow as you lose control, your body twisting awkwardly in the air. you crash into the goalpost with a sickening thud, pain exploding in your head, the metal reverberating as you flop onto the ground. 

the world goes blurry, and the sounds around you fade into a muffled haze. you’re vaguely aware of hitting the ground, of voices shouting around you, but everything is distant, as if you’re underwater or in a cave far from society.

nobody noticed at first, since the ball was kicked into the goal by lea. she didn’t care to celebrate when she noticed your injury. 

you were barely moving, which freaked her out internally. 

a voice cuts through the fog in your head—lea’s voice. she’s there, crouched beside you, her hands on your shoulder, her face pale– just like yours– but with worry. 

“stay with me, y/n. stay awake,” she’s saying in german, her voice shaking slightly. 

you try to focus on her, but it’s hard, everything spinning and out of focus. you catch a glimpse of her wide, panicked eyes, her grip on your hand tight, almost desperate, as if she can keep you tethered to consciousness by sheer will.

the weak hand of yours touches lea, signaling that you have no energy to talk. that knock fron lynn took all of the wind out of you. it was rough, the yellow from the referee proved that. 

you’re dimly aware of the medics rushing over, of being lifted onto a stretcher, but all you can think about is how lea is holding your hand, refusing to let go until she’s forced to step back. her concern, her fear, is palpable, and it cuts through the haze of pain and confusion. 

it’s a stark contrast to the distance you’ve been trying to maintain, a reminder that maybe, just maybe, you’ve misjudged her and her intentions with your girlfriend all along.

later, when the dizziness has faded and you’re back in the locker room with an ice pack on your head, guilt gnaws at your gut. 

lea didn’t have to help you—she could have stayed on the sidelines since you wanted distance from her, but she didn’t. she was there for you, just like she’s always there for lena. and that’s when it hits you: lea has never hated you. she wasn’t trying to steal lena away from you. you’ve been so blinded by your own insecurity that you couldn’t see it. you’ve let your fears create a wedge between you and lea, and it’s been unfair to both her and lena.

you know what you have to do. so, after the match, you ask lea to your house. she would probably be there anyways, since it you and lena’s shared home in the bavarian countryside.  

luckily, lena had a doctor’s appointment at bayern– so she had to stay behind and encouraged you to go home since you’re tired from the match. 

it’s awkward at first with lea, the two of you sitting across from each other in the cozy living room, the tension thick in the air. 

you internally freak out when you realize that you’ve never had a real conversation with her before, not like this. now, the words feel heavy on your tongue. 

you take a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. the silence in the room feels heavy, almost suffocating. you’re sitting across from lea, her eyes steady and patient, waiting for you to speak. 

this conversation is long overdue, but it’s hard to find the right words. finally, you break the silence.

“lea, i– i need to be honest with you about something,” you begin, your voice wavering slightly. 

“i’ve been carrying these thoughts around for a while, and i think it’s time i finally tell you– or rather ask you.”

lea’s expression is gentle, her gaze encouraging. “you can tell, or ask me anything, y/n.”

“do you like lena?” you ask, your eyebrow knitted together as lea’s face fills with confusion. 

“as my best friend, yes, anything more– i don’t.” lea answers, not trying to show that she is nervous about the upcoming conversation. 

“it’s about… about how i’ve been feeling lately. about you and lena. i know it sounds silly, and i’m trying to work through it, but—”   you pause, struggling to find the right words. 

“seeing you two together, so close, affectionate and so comfortable, it stirs up this weird knot inside me. i keep thinking, what if one day, lena decides she doesn’t need me anymore? what if she doesn’t love me anymore? what if she… decides she’d rather be with you?”

lea’s eyes widen slightly, and she opens her mouth to speak, but you hold up a hand to stop her. you need to get this out, to lay everything bare.

“i know it’s irrational,” you continue, your voice cracking. “i know you’re her best friend and that there’s nothing more between you two. but every time i see you two together, laughing and being so affectionate, it feels like a reminder that i might not be enough. it’s like there’s this part of me that’s afraid lena might see something in you that she doesn’t see in me. and that thought… it terrifies me. i don’t want to be fooled, if there are feelings between the both of you– just tell me and i’ll get out of the way.”

you look down at your hands, unable to meet lea’s gaze. the vulnerability of your confession makes you feel exposed, raw.

“i’ve been pushing you away because of these feelings, and i know it’s not fair to you. i thought that if i kept my distance, i wouldn’t have to deal with these insecurities. but the truth is, i’ve let it affect my relationship with lena, and with you– and it’s not right.”

lea’s silence stretches on for a moment, and you’re not sure what she’s thinking. when she finally speaks, her voice is soft but firm. 

“y/n, i had no idea you felt this way. i’m really sorry if i’ve contributed to those feelings. but i want you to know that lena and i have known each other for years, and yes, we’re close, but that’s all it is—a close friendship. our friendship doesn’t change the fact that lena loves you. she’s never looked at me in that way, and she’s never given me any indication that she wants anything more than what we have as friends.”

you glance up, meeting her gaze. there’s sincerity in her eyes, and it’s a comfort. “but you’re right,” lea continues. 

“i’ve seen how much lena loves you. it’s obvious to everyone around us. i care about lena deeply, and because of that, i care about you too. i’ve always wanted us to get along, but i didn’t know how to close the distance between us.”

“i’ve been so caught up in my own fears that i didn’t see things clearly. i’m sorry for the way i’ve treated you.” you swallow hard, trying to process her words. 

lea reaches out, placing a comforting arm over your shoulder. “i’m glad that you found a point to start talking about your feelings now. i want us to be friends, y/n, and i want to support you and lena, not be a source of conflict.”

your heart warms as you listen to her. “thank you, lea. it means a lot to hear that from you.” 

lea smiles, a warm and understanding smile. “there is no problem, i promise. we both care about lena, and that’s something we have in common. we can use that as a way to become close.” 

you nod, feeling a sense of relief and clarity that you haven’t felt in a long time. “yeah, i’d like that. thank you for being so understanding.”

“anytime,” lea says with a reassuring nod. “now, there is just one thing—” 

your heart sunk, afraid of what lea might say. 

“you have to talk to lena now about this.” lea says, firmly. 

“i will.” you swallow.

when lea leaves your home, you feel lighter. 

just a couple of minutes later, lena comes through the door. relieved seeing you resting on the couch. 

you and lena are curled up on the couch in your shared apartment, the room dimly lit by the soft glow of a lamp. darker from when lea was there. the day has been long, and the tension between you has only recently begun to ease after your conversation with lea. 

"are you okay? I saw that hit you took from lynn earlier, is there anything you need?" lena asks, rubbing your head.

she hated that she could only stand and watch as the medics surrounded you earlier. she was glad that you had lea, sydney, pernille, and georgia watching over you.

lena’s presence beside you feels comforting, then it feels the same as it did before your conversation with the blonde german. what if lena doesn’t react so kindly? 

your girlfriend isn’t mean, so you take a deep breath, preparing to share your feelings with her.

"I am okay--- but lena,” you start, your voice quiet but steady. 

“i need to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind.”

lena looks at you, her expression soft and attentive as she plays with the hair in your ponytail. “what’s on your mind, love?”

you hesitate for a moment, then continue, “it’s about you and lea. i talked to her earlier and for a while i’ve been struggling with how close you two are. it’s not that i don’t trust you or anything—it’s just— i’ve felt this knot of jealousy and insecurity whenever i see you two together. i know it’s irrational because you;ve been friends with her since even before we knew each other, but seeing you so close with her, it makes me wonder if there’s something i’m missing.”

lena’s eyes widen with concern, and she reaches out to gently brush a strand of hair from your face that fell out of your ponytail. 

“y/n,” she says softly, her voice full of warmth. “you’ve been feeling this way? i had no idea.”

you nod, trying to hold back tears. 

“i’ve been pushing myself to stay calm and rational, but it’s been hard. i guess i just needed to hear it from you. i need to know how you really feel about lea and why you two are so close.”

lena pulls you closer, wrapping her arms around you in a comforting embrace. 

“lea and i have been friends for a long time, longer than you and i have been together. she’s like a sister to me. we’ve shared so many experiences, and that bond is deep and meaningful, its not going anywhere. but that doesn’t change how much i love you.”

you rest your head on her shoulder, feeling the warmth of her body against yours. 

“i understand that, but sometimes it feels like i’m competing with that bond. it makes me question if there’s a place for me in your life where i’m not overshadowed by your bond with her.”

lena kisses the top of your head, cheek, and nose– her touch tender and reassuring. 

“you’re not competing with anyone, y/n. my friendship with lea is important, it doesn’t come close to what i have with you. my love for you is different—it’s deeper and more significant. our relationship is something i cherish and prioritize above all.”

you close your eyes, letting her words sink in. “i needed to hear that. thank you for being so understanding. it’s just hard sometimes, seeing how easily you connect with her. maybe i didn’t understand because i’ve never had a close bond with a friend like you do with lea”

lena pulls back slightly to look into your eyes, her gaze intense and filled with sincerity. 

“i want you to know that my connection with lea is like that of family. it’s a bond that’s been built over years, and it’s special, but it’s not a reflection of how i feel about you. there’s no comparison. my love for you is above anything else– ever since i met you”

the taller girl takes your hair out of your ponytail gently– your hair falls down from the hair tie and she runs her fingers gently through your hair, her touch soothing. 

“if you ever feel uncertain or insecure, please talk to me. i want us to be open with each other. and remember, you’re my priority. nothing and no one will ever change that.”

you nod, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. “i will. i just needed to know where i stand with you.”

lena smiles, her eyes warm and loving. “well you aren’t  standing now– but you’re sitting right here, with me. and that’s exactly where we belong.”

you lean in for a kiss, feeling the connection between you deepen. the reassurance and physical affection from lena makes you feel grounded and loved.

authors note: wrote this on vacay but had to fix a ton of it since it was originally on my phone LMAO

my master list is here if you want to read more fics <3