#Like yes I do love esteban. Yes he has a messy relationship with tears. Yes putting racing first closed him off to navigating things well

[bsaka7]

i did finish the fic!!!! gave me the like “omg what do i even do with these feelings now” hahaha it really is such a masterpiece!

the character foils were everything!!! obviously pierre and esteban at the core but even the relationship of pierre and charles compared to his with esteban, pierres career compared to estebans, pierres family etc etc it all interacts to create such a wonderful picture of who they are and how they have… become who they are??? like even from the beginning, when theyre karting together and estebans first feelings are “i want to win and i want to be in the kart but hes going first :(“ and that… changes but never really goes away because its important to him and the little moments that show their diff upbringing too like… pierre asking for like. snacks for instance, and not having that fear of being rude and having something taken away from him that esteban has, like his interactions with pierres family made me want to scream because like. the cautiousness and politeness like so so so real

estebans ENTIRE relationship with crying. AGGHHHH!!!!!

and pierre not understanding why he cant separate on and off track but like. estebans put his whole self into it in a different way to what pierre has, and just exactly what its like to be kind of. insular and awkward as a kid because that DOES follow you, his difficulties fitting in with his peer group etc etc

the playing COD together made me 😭😭😭 😭 ESPECIALLY when pierre was like dude was that ur mum??? and its like. in my head ratatouille flashback pierre and estebans parents. AND ESTEBAN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT AND HES LIKE… im inside now :) UGHRJFJ SOBBING

omfg and all the unsent texts when pierre got demoted… esteban im literally reaching thru the screen to make u press send sorry anyway. beautiful beautiful beautiful fic thank u so much!!!! mwah!!! <3

Thank u!! This is long so under the cut haha

ahhh that's amazing to hear 😭😭 I love when writing makes me feel like that so it's an honor to be able to do it for u!!! I'm really glad I was able to flesh out that world in a way that felt real!!! I was sort of debating whether to tag this fic as a bildungsroman or not (obv I didn't) because I didn't know if there was enough character change/on loss/psychological focus... like they grow up but i wanted to keep that raw competitive core and also keep the elements of - Pierre's parents saying they tried to protect his childhood, but he moved away so young. Esteban saying he grew up quick. Etc. like you said - 'insular and awkward'. the stuff about crying (este talking about crying after getting scratched from Australia 2019 testing with merc. It destroys me). It sneaks up on u. You never escape that!!! And if you do, you have to work for it!!!!

the triangulation of Charles/pierre/esteban is like. Everything to me. I need a proper messy love triangle. i need Charles pov on the whole thing. the way Charles is. he's in a different league than them and he knows it but he wants to be loved anyway...

i think also capturing how people interact with each other online is - hard. i literally just sketched out a Cinderella story au with @nicotineteeth lmao and i keep thinking about it like. about the idiot by batuman. how can you know someone so well online and not know how it will flesh out when you meet each other. can you talk past each other without realizing it. obv here - and in most of my fic - i try to stay in the present but even with relationships like that. i feel like saying things you mean in text is. almost even worse. that was the only scene in this whole fic where both pierre and esteban weren't there and i was honestly debating it but like that's a connection too. ok sorry to ramble about something so tangential haha.

I really appreciate ur message haha. Screenshotted and saved!! I'm very glad you enjoyed my little fic and I really enjoyed hearing ur comments!!! ❤️❤️