xmo-rmon

[xmo-rmon]

do you have a bluesky?

Not for exmo stuff no, but perhaps I ought to make one. The twitter-like structure of it is good for shouting random thoughts as they come.

[xmo-rmon]

HEY so as someone who went to EFY once, apparently BYU felt the need to welcome my direct feedback. Including a comment section, ability to upload an image, and to share a link. Naturally I started frothing at the mouth.

SO, I don't know if you need to get the email first or not (I don't think so because it did not autofill any information about me), but IF NOT. May I present to you the opportunity to bring hell upon BYU however you see fit

It will be closed by tomorrow unfortunately. If you don't have time/don't know what to send, might I suggest sending the image of the poem above and linking them anywhere on the Timpanogos tribe website, particularly their donate page.

Of course you can write whatever comment you'd like, but I'd also encourage you to include a little something about how byu is named after a man who literally called to exterminate the Timpanogos people, murdering and selling them into slavery. Make them look at the things they keep secret.

Happy blaspheming!

[xmo-rmon]

I just don't know how I'm supposed to love and feel loved by a god who constantly threatens to throw me in a fire for eternity if I displease them in any way

[xmo-rmon]

The other day I had a really nice lengthy conversation with a muslim guy about islam and religion and philosophy in general, and I talked a little about being exmormon. He studied religion and read the BoM so he agreed with all my points on it, but then he also asked "And who do mormons hate?" and waited for me to answer like it was obvious but I could not immediately respond because I really needed him to be more specific

[xmo-rmon]

Since yet another piece of media depicting the mountain meadows massacre as the most fucked up thing the mormon church has ever done just came out, I'd like to take another opportunity to direct everyone to the Timpanogos tribe website and encourage you to read about the black hawk war and the events surrounding and following it

brigham young literally ordered the mormon militia to "exterminate" the Timpanogos people - murdering the men and selling the women and children into slavery. The remains of Black Hawk were robbed from his grave and put on display in temple square until 1996

The full truth needs to be heard. It can't be minimized into something titillating but consumable. The Timpanogos people did not endure the grief and suffering brought by the mormon militia so people could both leave them out of the discussion and make money off a story they were erased from.

Again, please read for yourself on the Timpanogos website, spread the word, and donate if you can (there is a button for it on the site).

[xmo-rmon]

I've said so many times that the mormon church is so severe about keeping what goes on inside the temple a secret because they know how weird it would all look to outsiders, and that it would change their reputation if it was widespread knowledge. Maybe that's partially true.

But it hit me all at once last night when I realized what it really is. It's ensuring that you don't get the chance to hear from an outside voice whether or not what happened to you was okay. It's ensuring that they can do whatever they want to you and never face scrutiny for it.

They groom you for years, maybe your whole life, to not allow yourself to doubt anything the church does to you. And then they take you into a private building and make you swear not to breathe a word of what transpired there to anyone. And until recently, as I understand, the story was "if you tell anyone what happened here your tongue will be ripped out, your throat will be slit, your chest torn open and your guts spilled out", an outrageously violent threat in a church that is otherwise so flowery it gives you three tiers of heaven before you're at risk of going to the place they won't even call hell.

Slowly shifting your ideas about acceptable behavior. Separating you from people who could possibly tell you you're in danger. Luring you into privacy with pretty promises, telling you how special you are for being worthy of this. Their kindness turning on a dime once you're alone, threatening to gruesomely kill you if you tell anyone what they're doing to you. And then telling you that you'd better let them keep doing it, because no one else can help you be good and special like they can.

I wonder what kind of people use those exact tactics to get away with what kind of acts. I wonder if until very very recently there was a ritual in the temple where you had to let people touch your naked body, including your chest and very close to your genitals. Surely, mormons could be trusted not to take advantage of that, right?

Well, whatever happens, just remember, you'll die if you tell another living soul!

[xmo-rmon]

Once you're able to accept the idea that the most enforced/regulated customs of the mormon church are centered around making money, it just becomes so blatant.

You can come to church and get baptized and just fart around for free, technically. But the most important things, the things they tell you you literally can't get into heaven without, you do in the temple. And you can't access those things without paying the membership fee, which is 10% of all your income. And, by the way, they tell you that giving them your money is one of the greatest honors and privileges that god has bestowed (just check the strength for youth booklet and throw up). You'd better thank us for being so kind as to take 10% of every dollar you make.

And then after that, there are even more paywalls. In order to do special super heaven temple shit, you need a super special uniform, and you can only purchase one from the church. Doesn't that sound kind of familiar in this day and age? Purchasing an item or membership to find that there are pretty vital components they chose not to include, but it's literally designed not to work with anything outside of its own brand (apple, among others), so you have to give them even more money just to use what you already paid for? Pretty transparently a sales tactic disguised as holy doctrine.

And then there's of course the pointless busywork of making sure those temple clothes maintain arbitrary appearance standards, but that's a different post.

[xmo-rmon]

(Not a problem, I have been Absent)

I have not seen that poster actually, but it totally checks out. Mormons are really fond of using delicious treats to try to make moral points, usually by desecrating them and saying that we are the delicious treats. Though I had this bizarrely sexual class at one point where we were all given chocolate and we had to take our time to notice and savor it with all our senses before we were allowed to eat it, and then we were told that was how we should read the scriptures. I know what they meant but one would think they wanted us to physically make love to the book.

But aaaah, well, we all know why even totally clean rap music could be considered unholy. My mom lost her shit at me for listening to white and nerdy by weird al without headphones on. Amazing how a clean parody rap song by a white guy literally about being white can still trigger the racism

You're so right though about mormon ideals being so all over the place despite the widespread idea that it's all one unified truth. Some people go to church and genuinely care and believe but still choose to drink coke and listen to profane music, and others don't eat white bread and don't let their kids watch tiny toons for some reason. My family was somewhere in the middle, we followed the rules as long as they weren't too much of a drag. It was easy enough not to drink coffee or swear but we still used the computer and played video games on sundays.

I guess really, it is actually kind of hard to get in big trouble with the church because they want to have as many members as possible. But it's easy to become the topic of gossip and get shamed by other members in general. I think that's what keeps people in line a lot of the time, just fear of judgment by fellow members. Which is definitely the way a healthy community works, right

Sometimes, when I’m listing to music or watching something, I feel the same thing I felt in church; that well that fills your chest and makes breathing a little hard, because you’re trying to not cry.

It makes me think about how important art is for humans.

How powerful music is. To think about old we’ve been around, and how many instruments we’ve made, we’ve lost because they are so old.

How powerful storytelling is. To think that once stories were memorized in order to tell them, and we are in a beautiful age where we can read and write so much more than before. Even today’s stories might be lost to time or details changed, thanks to our short memories.

How powerful art is. That we’ve been drawing on caves, carving rocks, even making our bodies canvases by covering them in art. To think of the tragedy that comes when we lose art. We so carefully preserve pieces that are so old they’ve turned yellow.

[xmo-rmon]

Baby you're looking at the most endowed member in the whole congregation

[xmo-rmon]

Drinking game called "Vain Repetitions" where you read the book of mormon and take a drink every time a verse starts with "Again,"

[xmo-rmon]

"Inseminary" review:

Screamed into the pillow

[xmo-rmon]

hey I'd like to thank you personally for talking about the Timpanogos tribe I don't know if I would've ever actually found out that two of my family members are right on the ancestors page of their website. Knowing the church is probably directly responsible for the half of my family tree that's conveniently missing has just put so many puzzle pieces back together in my mind I have no regrets whatsoever for leaving the church as soon as I was able. Thank you

And thank you so much for sharing this with me, things like this are exactly why I even started making this art in the first place. I'm so glad and really honored to have helped you. Truly, sincerely, more than the tone of a tumblr post can accurately convey. Good luck out there friend

[xmo-rmon]

Just an extra tidbit re: the body safety of “Inseminary” - before using this toy, I’ve never actually had a reason to use condoms, and I was/am actually kind of thrilled about it because that’s just a realm of my special interest (sex) that had otherwise gone unexplored. That’s how much of a geek I am. There’s also an enjoyable added mentality to it, esp if you think about it as wearing a barrier to protect from the hateful scriptures sinking in.

I also had to special order a pack of non-lubricated condoms because the kind you can get at the pharmacy are all coated in silicone lube, and therefore unsafe for silicone toys. I use our water-based lube both inside and outside the condom instead (X-Lube, which I can’t recommend enough).

Also, just for the record, before using it on my partner for the first time I recited both sacrament prayers and fed them a bite of bread and sip of wine. You know, to bless and sanctify this dick, for the souls of all those who partake of it,

[xmo-rmon]

Tl;dr - I have been using condoms, the paper is fully sealed but there are air bubbles unrelated to the paper

I’ve seen a few people ask this so I figured I’d say - rest assured everyone I’m very aware of material safety, sex toys have been my special interest for I’d say almost a decade and I worked in a sex store for nearly a year. I definitely took body safety seriously when designing this. It might not look like it in the photo, but every piece of paper is fully coated and sealed. There was one sticking out the very bottom when I unmolded it but I pulled it out with a pair of tweezers. All that being said, because I didn’t use a vacuum chamber there are some bubbles on the surface, so to be safe I have been using condoms (non-lubricated with water based lube added to protect the silicone) on it and plan to boil it to fully sanitize every few uses just to be sure. The paper also did not inhibit curing and did not affect the structural integrity of the silicone at all.

Still, thank you everyone for the overwhelming lovely feedback, it really means a lot 💖

“Inseminary”

or “Lockpick to the Priesthood” or “Come Unto Me” or “Pearl Necklace of Great Price” or “Faith is Like a Little Seed”

Authentic stolen holy text, Near Clear silicone, gold pigment.

I went to the mormon church’s website, looked up their views on homosexuality, noted the scriptures they referenced, ripped them by hand out of the bible and book of mormon I stole from their chapel, and then mixed them into a silicone dildo of my own design like confetti. A dildo which will of course be used for homosexual purposes.

I’ve wanted to try dildo making for literally over a decade. I don’t have any fancy equipment like a 3D printer or a vacuum chamber, I made the sculpt by hand, and I fucked up a lot along the way, but all that being said I’m proud of what I was able to accomplish and I learned a lot. I put in more gold than I meant to, but honestly, it was meant to represent scripture’s gilded edges, and as it turned out, it looks really beautiful or quite filthy depending on the lighting, which feels entirely appropriate for scripture.

It was hard to read all of those verses. But as I tore them up I bathed them in the intention to take words that were meant to inflict queer pain wherever they go, and say “Actually, I pull those words out when I want some queer pleasure.” Build joy where they want you to have it the least.

Read about/donate to the Timpanogos tribe, for whom brigham young sent out an “extermination order”

LandBack

[xmo-rmon]

“Inseminary”

or “Lockpick to the Priesthood” or “Come Unto Me” or “Pearl Necklace of Great Price” or “Faith is Like a Little Seed”

Authentic stolen holy text, Near Clear silicone, gold pigment.

I went to the mormon church’s website, looked up their views on homosexuality, noted the scriptures they referenced, ripped them by hand out of the bible and book of mormon I stole from their chapel, and then mixed them into a silicone dildo of my own design like confetti. A dildo which will of course be used for homosexual purposes.

I’ve wanted to try dildo making for literally over a decade. I don’t have any fancy equipment like a 3D printer or a vacuum chamber, I made the sculpt by hand, and I fucked up a lot along the way, but all that being said I’m proud of what I was able to accomplish and I learned a lot. I put in more gold than I meant to, but honestly, it was meant to represent scripture’s gilded edges, and as it turned out, it looks really beautiful or quite filthy depending on the lighting, which feels entirely appropriate for scripture.

It was hard to read all of those verses. But as I tore them up I bathed them in the intention to take words that were meant to inflict queer pain wherever they go, and say “Actually, I pull those words out when I want some queer pleasure.” Build joy where they want you to have it the least.

Read about/donate to the Timpanogos tribe, for whom brigham young sent out an “extermination order”

LandBack

[xmo-rmon]

There’s surely a lot to be said about the fact that I can only remember the sound of nursery songs if it includes the sound of me crying

[xmo-rmon]

Two decades in the mormon church inform my work, but it was kicked off when I read about brigham young and his militia’s attempt to exterminate the Timpanogos people, and the fact that I had to go looking for this information to learn about it. The mormon church was built on mass murder, and I was out of the church for ten years before I even read the name of the people that were slaughtered.

Everyone should know this. Exmos, mormons, and nevermos alike. The church deserves the full weight of this. The Timpanogos people deserve their land back, they deserve every dollar that has gone into building lavish, white and delightsome temples and malls. But the church won’t even acknowledge that the violence happened, much less drop a single dollar on its victims.

So, in what small way one poor, disabled exmo can, I’m going to make them.

All my religious materials will be stolen from them and used to benefit the people they harmed in some way - no one who sees my art will do so without reading the name Timpanogos and what brigham young did. Any money I make from this effort will be donated to them.

I want to hold up a mirror to the church and invite members to consider why the reflection is frightening to them. I want to empower exmos, pimos, and anyone who opposes the church (and make them laugh). I want to embody the fact that Korihor represents a fantasy that will never come true: mormons never having to be asked to think about what they do or what they’re told again.

I’m Korihor unmuted, and I’m gonna fuck your shit up.

Read about/donate to the Timpanogos tribe, for whom brigham young sent out an “extermination order”

LandBack