#LynnsRequests

[the-traveling-poet]

Hi darling! Just found your account and your writing is AMAZING 😭❤️ I wanted to ask a Levi x fem!reader where they are married and the reader is particularly nervous, which she never is, and at some point she lashes out at Levi? Lot of angst and fluff please! (Also if you could maintain the canonverse, no modern au)

Thank you so muchhh ❤️❤️❤️

Miscommunications 

Marriage was something you’d read so often about in your youth. It was a beautiful thing you hoped to one day experience. You longed for the day you find him; Mister Right. Luckily, you’d found him. Corporal Levi Ackerman. But marriage wouldn’t magically solve the way your two’s personalities sometimes clashed. To do that, you’d have to talk.

Pairing: Husband!Levi x SO!Reader

Warnings: Angst-to-fluff, language, marital issues, slightly suggestive comments, SFW, Married!Reader, Cannon-verse, slightly suggestive

Taglist: @21aurora If you want on the tag list for drabbles headcannons and one-shots, just DM me~ Also checkout my wattpad for more~

A/N: Ofc lovely! Thank you so much, that makes my day to hear 🤎 So sorry for the wait, life got in the way! As always, if this doesn’t fit your preference(a) I’ll happily rewrite.

Enjoy~

Married life was something you’d never imagined you could obtain. It had been a dream of yours since childhood; you’d always wanted to walk down the aisle towards the man of your dreams dressed in all white; just like in all the stories you’d grown up reading about.

But years later, while in the Survey Corps, you knew this simply just wasn’t possible.

Not only was death knocking on everyone’s door the moment the gates opened for their expeditions, but…there weren’t a lot of suitors.

You might not have been picky but…damn.

So after some time, you’d given up looking for or seeking out any kind of romantic relationship while the Corps were still around to defend the people of Paradis.

That is, until the day you happened to meet Levi.

What had first started out as forced comradeship on the battle field, soon turned to a mutual respect for one another as you worked side by side over the many weeks spent out in titan territory together. And from there, your connection to him blossomed into one of friendship, which eventually led to a not-so-secret crush on your end. Little did you know them, he had begun to recognize he felt the same way about you that you did about him. It took some time, but after awhile he finally accepted he couldn’t avoid his emotions any longer.

By the time he had gathered the courage to finally ask you out, you’d both been enlisted for over a year. But you couldn’t have been happier when he stuttered out the question to you.

“W-would you kind maybe…Grabbing some tea after this? Maybe…T-together?”

Your love had been a whirlwind of emotions; good moments and bad sprinkled in between every milestone you passed with him at your side. But ups and downs were to be expected in new relationships, you knew.

From the first time you held hands, to the first “I love you”s, to the first time his bedroom door locked behind you as he led you towards his bed. You’d been over the moon with joy though it all.

Despite all the love you had for him, there were days you questioned wether he fully trusted you or not. He was always so silent, so reserved. He’d opened up to you a great deal, but you knew there were still some things left unsaid on his part. While you respected his wishes to not speak his mind at all times as you did, it still left a corner of doubt in your mind some days.

Until the fateful day he dropped down onto one knee in front of you a year into your relationship, you’d begun to wonder if he even felt as strongly for you as you did him.

Immediately, all your worries melted away the moment you walked up that isle towards the alter, taking his hands in yours as a ring was slipped onto your finger.

Well, almost all worries.

There were times throughout your married life where you felt he was keeping things from you. Not an affair, you knew. You trusted him with everything you were, he would never do something so heinous.

What worries you, was how differently your emotions sometimes clashed. Where he was always so calm and poised, keeping his emotions to himself, you were always rather high strung and vocal about what you felt when you felt it. So undeniably, this caused some discomfort for your peace of mind.

As of late, you felt as though he constantly underestimated you. To keep you safe, perhaps, but didn’t he know by now you could handle yourself?

One evening, you’d finally mustered up the mental strength to address this to him. He, of course, wanted you safe at all times. He loved you, he couldn’t bear to lose you. But you knew you hadn’t become a Captain by sheer luck. You knew what you were doing, and damnit if anyone thought you couldn’t do your job. But you were nervous. Nervous that maybe…Maybe, he was right?

“Levi,” you’d called out behind his office door, before swinging it open without invitation.

He looked exhausted, sitting behind his desk with a hand in his hair and a quill gripped tightly between his fingers.

“Y/N,” he greeted you absentmindedly, still focused on the document before him.

“Is this a bad time? Or…Can we talk for a moment?” You asked, keeping your voice and tone soft.

“Of course, I have time. Always do for you,” he sighed, but you noticed it was out of slight relief at being distracted from the work that laid before him. “What?”

Finding yourself softly smiling at his attention aimed your way, you shook your head to focus.

“I just wanted to ask…Do you trust me?”

He stared up at you for a long moment, his face unreadable.

“Are the MP’s shitty lackies? Of course I trust you,” he scoffed, attempting to overlook his off the wall joke in hopes of lightening your obviously nervous mood.

“Well, yeah, but…” You sighed. “You tend to shove those expedition folders away whenever I walk into the room. You don’t tell me everything that happens behind the closed doors of a meeting. I get you may not wanna worry me. And just…protect me…But we both know I’m capable. We both know I can handle things. I’m not a Captain for nothing.” You finally managed to scoff out.

Levi sighed, rubbing a hand down his brow.

“Can you? I know your strength outside the walls. But what if your emotional strength? If I told you about every happening within the walls I’ve been informed of, you might just shit yourself with worry.”

“Excuse me?” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “I’m the wife of humanity’s strongest soldier. If I can handle you, I can handle anything.”

“Oh please, you cried alongside Hange when those damn titan experiments got killed. If you can’t even handle that, what makes you think you could handle the truths of how this world is run? Let me deal with that. You just focus on leading your squad and coming back alive from every expedition.”

His words sent a familiar spark of doubt through you. You knew you could handle yourself, but if Levi doubted you could…We’re you really as good as you thought you might be? Was your rank as Captain falsely given?

The anxiety of intrusive thoughts started to eat you alive, and before you knew it you were shaking in your boots with both fear and sudden anger.

As anxiety bubbled up in your gut, it started to cloud your mind as well as your eyes as they glossed over with unshed tears.

“I see,” you managed to blurt out. “Am I really just something fun for you to come back to after meetings and expeditions? Am I not qualified for the title you gave me as Captain? If my husband doesn’t even trust my emotional state, what use even am I?”

“Y/N, darling, you know that’s not what I meant-“ Levi started, sudden alarm in his eyes.

“No, Levi. You always speak your mind. Why wouldn’t you with me, your wife? Of course you’d give it to me straight.” You laughed humorlessly.

“If I’m really so worthless to my fucking job, why didn’t you just say so? Why did you promote me? Why did you marry me? Someone so incompetent…Yes I’m fucking worried! I’m worried about this next expedition. I don’t feel my squad is ready. I don’t feel I’m ready. But yknow what, fine.”

You turned in your heel, scared to have Levi see the tears you’d been holding in finally spilling free. Your heart beat frantically in your chest, and your shoulders ached as the anxiety finally won over.

It had been years since you’d had an anxiety attack, but this had been the straw to finally break the camel’s back.

“Y/N, wait-“ Levi tried to call out, but you were already halfway through the door.

“I need some air,” you muttered before hastily closing his office door behind you and making your way down the cobblestone halls.

═════════════════

By the time you sat alone on the roof of HQ, you’d begun to calm down. Physically, at least.

Deep down, you knew your husband meant well. And while you never liked to admit it, sometimes you needed reassurance. And his brash tone didn’t always do it for you.

But your respected it, nonetheless. Just as he respected you.

Even while knowing this, you sniffled and wiped at your runny nose. Maybe you were over thinking the whole thing…Or maybe you weren’t. What we’re you too believe? Love was complicated. It always had been.

The squeaking of door hinges broke through your thoughts. Wiping at your eye, you glanced over your shoulder and froze.

Levi strode towards your on the roof, his shoulders slumping in relief at finding you.

“Y/N, darling. You worried me,” he whispered as he made his way over to you and took a seat on the stone roof.

You both stayed silent for a moment, before it was too much for you to bear.

“Look, I’m sorry for taking my worries out on you.”

“No. Stop.” He shushed you softly. “I could have worded what I meant better…”

“No! No, it’s fine…I shouldn’t be so soft,” you cut him off with a sigh.

“Damnit woman, you’re so impatient.” Levi chuckled softly, putting an arm around your shoulders and holding you closer to him.

“Just listen for a moment? Yeah?” He whispered against your ear, causing you to shudder slightly at the familiar intimate action, but you nodded in understanding as you decided to keep quiet.

“Thank you,” he whispered before he continued. “Look, I know I’m not the best with words, darling. I try for you, I really do. But I suppose I could do better. You have my heart. Every piece of it. You occupy every thought in my mind, every day.” He rushed out, yet kept his soft and even tone.

“I love you. And I trust you. I always have, and I always will. I don’t keep things from you due to lack of faith. I just…” He paused with a deep sigh.

“I love you,” he repeated softly. “If I could bring you total peace and comfort, I would without a second thought. So with the circumstances we’re in, I try to do just that. I’m not trying to hide anything from you. I just want your life to be as stress free as possible, despite our fucking jobs. And if that means leaving information out while explaining plans to you, then so be it. But…I can see how it’s stressing you out, too.”

You listened on in amazed silence, finally seeing his side of things. Taking your sudden muteness as a sign to continue, he went on.

“I love you. That’s why I married you. I don’t want you to be as stressed as I am. I want to keep you away from those burdens. To protect you, yes. But…You’re all I have left. I want to keep that peace reserved. For the both of us. And I’m sorry I came across so…Brash? Harsh? Disinterested? Just please…Know that I love you, and I meant no ill will.”

He finished his long winded speech with a deep inhale and exhale, then remained silent. You’d never heard him speak that much in one sitting before, despite all your time together.

It touched you, deeply, inside your heart. How he was willing to do something like this for you; opening up and showing you all that he thought about. All he kept locked away in his mind and heart.

You felt yourself tearing up again, but this time out of relief and joy. Leaning your head against his shoulder, you put your arms around him as best you could in this position.

“Again, I’m sorry I blew up. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, even if i misunderstood your intentions. I love you too, more than anything. And I want that peace, too. I want it more than anything…But I want to be included by you. To be with you. No matter how hard it may be right now, or however hard it may get in the future; I just want to be with you through it all. To have you lean on me like I lean on you.”

“I’m sorry, love,” he whispered, resting his head atop yours. “I should have thought of it like that, and respected how differently we handle things. Mentally, and emotionally.”

He lifted his head off yours, and tilted your chin up with his hand to meet his sincere gaze.

“Tell you what; I’ll tell you everything I’m informed, if you promise to not doubt yourself so much.”

“Doubt myself?” you asked with a sniffle.

“Yes, you doubt yourself. I heard it today, just as you did. And I’ve seen it, before now. You’re not worthless, and you’re not weak. We both know I married one hell of a courageous and capable woman,” he winked playfully at you, causing you to giggle despite your raging emotions.

“So I’m not just something fun for you to return home to?” you teased him back.

“Well, you’re one hell of a temptress. And your damn good to me in bed. But no. I love you for you. For how strong you are. How resilient you are. How you can speak your mind so easily…I envy that, yknow? I love you, my darling Y/N.” He sighed, giving you a half smile as he tilted his face down to yours.

Catching the look in his eye, you allowed yourself to fully relax in his arms and lean into him, parting your lips slightly to capture his in a loving embrace.

He hummed softly in relieved pleasure against your lips, tilting his face down to deepen your passionate kiss. By the time you both needed to part for air, he had a rare smirk on his face.

“You’re one hell of a woman, you know that? Why would I ever distrust you? How could you think such a thing with such a beautiful ring on your finger?”

“Oh shut it, shorty,” you chuckled, shoving his shoulder playfully.

And just like that, every anxiety you might have had about the upcoming expedition, and about yourself as a person, vanished the moment his lips founds your again for a heated kiss on the roof of HQ.

Your evening might have started with anxiety, but it was sure to end in a reassuring passion only known by the two of you.