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[measuringlife]

Measuring Me: 36 for 36

Here 36 things about me to celebrate my 36th Birthday today!

My first CD was Hootie and the Blowfish’s Cracked Rear View which was released 25 years ago

I owned a beeper in 8th grade its number was KEG-CAKE

There is no video footage of me before age 5

Pluto was still a planet when I was a kid

I wouldn’t have been able to navigate my college town without print outs of Mapquest maps

My first concert was Debbie Gibson in 2nd grade

I miss Dunkaroos

I was a Kraft Cheese and Macaroni kid, Easy Mac didn’t come out until I started college and it’s far inferior

Muppet Babies on Saturday mornings was the best

I remember when all of Long Island had a 516 area code

I spent too much time freshman year of college playing Snood

I took a keyboarding class, in high school

I remember the thrill of upgrading my boom box to a three cd changer

I saw Home Alone in the movie theaters

Aladdin was the first movie I saw in theaters twice

Between my cds and iTunes my music collection is one of the most expensive things I own

I remember being so happy when Discmans came with an anti-skip feature so my cd wouldn’t skip when hitting a pothole while riding the bus to school

I played Snake in my Nokia phone with interchange faceplates

My first ringtone song was Ice Ice Baby on that Nokia

I remember when remote controls weren’t remote then were attached by a cord to the tv, a clicker would be a more accurate name for it

The MTV VMAs used to be such an event

My afternoons in high school centered around watching Total Request Live (TRL) and I was on it twice!

The first song I drove to alone in the car was Jumpin’ Jumpin’ by Destiny’s Child

I started blogging in 2004 for a class and then been writing various blogs ever since

I joined Facebook my senior year of college in November 2004

AIM away messages were an art form I used to obsess over

I have been putting highlights and color in my hair since at least 1995

I have kept written journals since January 1, 1997

I was 3 weeks into my first year of college when 9/11 happened

I was 24 when my Dad died, so at this point, he was only alive for 2/3 of my life thus far

I remember the moment I took the cord from my tape to cd converter from my Discman and put it in my first iPod back in 2004. It was magic and listening to music in my car had forever been changed

My first car had a 5 cd-changer, in the trunk. So you had to choose wisely on those road trips!

I had cd holder visors on both the driver and passenger side in addition to huge albums all sorted methodically

I saw Rent on Broadway 13 times, including twice in 1 day

I have always hated people singing Happy Birthday to me and used to run screaming as a child

I was born on a Thursday at 4:58PM which I think adds to my love of Thursdays

[measuringlife]

Measuring Monday: Facing Fear

If you have a Hulu subscription and 98 minutes, I can’t recommend watching “Free Solo,” enough. It’s the Oscar-winning documentary about free solo (rocking climbing without ropes) climber Alex Honnold. I was vaguely familiar with this story, but watching his meticulous planning and approach to climbing El Cap was so inspiring. He was systematic, focused, had a support network/tribe, and wasn’t afraid. A key message throughout the doc was “do it until it’s not scary anymore.” I also loved the comparison a fellow climber made about the discipline, training, focus, and skills to free solo El Cap - imagine a gold medal worthy Olympic performance and how Alex’s option was to win the gold or die.

I came across a great Forbes article from earlier this month titled, “The Seven Lessons From “Free Solo” on Working Without a Rope”, the 7 lessons were:

The accomplishment is more preparation than performance

Know the terrain

Control the risks you can: anticipate the risks you can’t

Turn around when it’s not right

Seek mastery, not luck

Practice creates confidence

There are no “hacks”

I learned lesson 1 through marathon training. I ran a near perfect (to me) marathon in 5:04, after a serious training cycle. My second marathon I under-prepared and I willed myself to the finish dragging my sister along in 5: 28, but my third marathon I trained hard. However I knew it was going to be a tough race due to injury and 15 extra pounds of weight I was carrying since my last marathons, I finished in 5:45. As much as you focus on 26.2 miles it’s important to remember and celebrate the hundreds of miles you ran getting you to that start line. This notion holds true is all types of situations.

Know the terrain is an interesting one. Over the last year since I initially began to seriously toy with a career change/life transition, I knew I needed to really explore as much as I could before making any decisions. I started writing more, worked with a life coach, get certified in BODYPUMP, work as a fitness instructor, teach an Urban Hiking class, study my weight watchers leaders/meetings, absorb as much inspirational and aspirational health/wellness/fitness content in all forms as possible. If I am going to leap I want to know where I’m headed as well as I can.

I love lesson 3, I say it all the time - especially at my day job. I am a broken record of saying “control the control-ables” and “do your future self a favor.” I’ve come to realize how my strategic thinking skills are kinda like a superpower. I thought everyone had them, but I can just see the domino effect or the decision trees so clearly with most things. What can I avoid and what can I anticipate. Part of my anticipation skills at work has been to log and collect data that I know will be useful in the future or create documents are well labeled and put in folders where I can find them later so I can retool and send out when they are needed in a moment’s notice. I also write meeting agendas and send them 24 hours before the meeting because who knows what the next day will look like and I’d rather get it done. Any spare time I have each day at work I use 50% of it to chill for a moment and 50% of it to start tackling future projects or items that will likely be useful in the future.

Turn around when it’s not right, this is a lesson that has bitten me in the ass multiple times. Too often my ego or stubborn nature get in the way of my bailing on something or someone. I’m working on this daily. I think part of this life/career shift is to turn around from this life of a 9-5 in the same field for my whole career. My creativity is stifled and the more I head toward the light of change the more freedom I feel.

I can fully relate to practice create confidences to lesson 1 also, but faking it until you make it can only take you so far. Confidence comes from preparedness, learning, being mentored/supported, and building on smaller successes. I relied on bravado for a long time, but it’s nowhere near as powerful as confidence. When you KNOW something with every fiber of your being it’s a force to be reckoned with.

I didn’t skip lesson 5, but I tied in better with lesson 7. I’m not a lucky person, but I’ve always relied on mastery. I am getting something because of the blood, sweat, and tears I put into it. Which ties into the fact that there are no life hacks to excellence. What you put into it you will get out of it and hopefully even more. But even if it’s an exact return on investment I still think that’s worthy. Honnald said in a TED talk when asked about any hacks was “What is the thing that’s worth putting in the work for you? What is the thing that’s most important to you?” He went on to say, “Baked into that is an appreciation for the hard work and the level to which you’ve completely devoted yourself to the pursuit.” First, you need to examine yourself, your wants, your dreams, and aspirations. Then you go after it, no holds barred!

[measuringlife]

Measuring Monday: California Dreaming

I’ve had a love affair with California even before I ever set foot there. I think it’s because my Dad also loved California so much. He briefly dropped out of college for a hippie year or so in Long Beach. He had so many stories from his California days - including working at one of the first 7-11s which novelty was that it was open from 7am-11pm!

I looked at grad programs and grad school summer internships in California even before I ever visited. I’ve had the great fortune to have traveled to the left coast quite a few times over the years. I applied to jobs in California as part of my national job search after grad school and in 2015-2016 I very seriously and actively job searched and interviewed out there, but it wasn’t meant to be for a variety of reasons.

I love the ocean and I love the mountains, which California offers in close proximity. I also love warmer weather and being outside. Living somewhere that could allow me to eat/exercise/play outside 300+ days a year is extremely appealing. Also let’s not forget, I have a broadcast journalism degree and a theatre minor plus my love for radio (college and commercial), I’ve always loved show business.

Here’s a quick recap of all my Cali trips:

March 2006: LA & Palm Springs with my Dad

—Highlights: Hollywood Homes tour, Hollywood sign, Walk of Fame, Jeopardy taping, UCLA visit, toes in the ocean

November 2009: Anaheim/Disneyland for work and a day trip to LA for fun

—Highlights: Disneyland, How I Met Your Mother set visit (thanks writer friend George), dinner at Ketchup, “Wild Hogs” premier - that we came across because we were driving next to John Travolta and Kelly Preston and followed them to El Capitan - tons of celeb sightings

March 2012: LA for the LA Marathon and fun

—Watched the filming of a How I Met Your Mother scene (thanks again George), Santa Monica Pier and Promenade, Pepperdine, USC, toes in the ocean,Dodger Stadium, David Cook Team lunch

February 2014: San Diego for work

—Gaslamp Quarter, Embarcadero Park, lots of running, Mexican food in Old Town San Diego

March 2015: CSU Northridge for a job interview

—Run in the area and dinner with a friend of a friend

May 2015: CSU Fullerton for a job interview

—Lunch in Long Beach and frolic in the sand. Also the bear Lebanese garlic paste I’ve ever had at a place near campus

March 2016: CSU Dominguez Hills for a job interview

—Dinner in Manhattan Beach and a run

March 2019: LA for work and driving up PCH1 to San Fran for fun

—Hikes in Griffith Park and Runyon Canyon, California Museum of Natural History, USC, with planned trip to Malibu, Hearst Castle, Big Sur, Alcatraz tour, bike tour, Painted Ladies, Sausalito and more

[measuringlife]

What a lovely weekend we had in Auburn! I didn't indulge as insanely as I feared and got A LOT of steps in. Felt pretty svelte - especially in the first picture before all the merriment!

[measuringlife]

Working for the Weekend

This Friday I am headed down to where I used to live in Alabama for my first visit in almost 2 years! 

This place is very special to me for many reasons, but especially so since it’s where I started running. It’s where I lost 45 lbs. It’s where I was finally able to take control of my life in more ways than just fitness. 

I moved away in 2012, in fact, I pushed my started date at my new job in DC back a few weeks because I had the LA Marathon on the books. When I left my full-time Alabama residency I was arguably in the best shape of my life since my last day of work was the week following the marathon. 

I’ve been back to visit 4 times since I’ve left. All of which in pretty good shape albeit not marathon shape. Getting back on the Weight Watchers train at the end of August and having a kick-ass September of working out has very much been extra motivated by the fact that I have my visit coming up and I’d like to be in the best shape I can be. I know that quite a few people got inspired to start running/working out/losing weight watching my journey while I was there. So I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a little “pressure” to not let anyone down and to continue my success story. However, I’m also well aware that this is a lifelong journey. I’m just glad to report that 5.5 years later (or really 7.5 years since I started) I’m still fighting my daily fight to make good choices.

[measuringlife]

Rang in 34 with sunrise mimosas on the beach and dolphins frolicking in the distance with @duh_jones (at Duck Beach, OBX)

[measuringlife]

Measuring Monday Post

[measuringlife]

Measuring Monday: Career Aspirations & Trajectory

The first job I said I wanted to have as a little kid (maybe 5 years old or so) “when I grew up” was a fashion designer. I remember this “fashion plates” toy I had where you could mix and match the plates of outfit tops and bottoms. Then pencil /charcoal rub across them onto paper so you could color in the outfit you created. I also had a light up sketch table for tracing that I remember I really liked. I got into playing Barbie and dressing them up however that dream didn’t last very long. In like 2nd grade I wanted to be a judge, perhaps because there were a lot of early-mid nighties high profile trials that sparked my interest. I soon learned that in order to become a judge you had to be a lawyer first, so that was my career ambition much to my mother’s delight for a few years.

In 7th grade, I started watching the Today Show on NBC before school and set my sights on broadcast journalism. I loved both the idea of anchoring the Today Show or being an MTV VJ. The more the 24-hour news cycle evolved the more I wanted to be a broadcaster, the round the clock coverage of Princess Diana's death was particularly memorable. While watching the Today Show I saw a commercial for Quinnipiac University (well at the time it was a College)’s new Ed McMahon School of Communications. Thus my love affair with Quinnipiac started.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts I worked a lot in high school, plus my school was like 25 minutes away from home so I didn’t participate in extracurricular activities, even if I did there was a very limited “media” program - I think I only got a semester of “media” class in my junior year and I was never into print media so the newspaper wasn’t of interest either. However when it came time to start of Quinnipiac I started networking with the college radio station upperclassmen. I found myself doing the news for the daily morning show my first semester and then starting my second semester had my own weekly 2-hour radio show with a rotating cast of co-hosts over the years. I even did my internship at a top 40 station in New Haven. I was really torn when it came to graduation, but I took the safe route and got a free masters from the University of Connecticut in higher education and student affairs.

I start my post-college years working at UConn as a part-time hall director which meant free housing, free laundry, and a free meal plan plus a small stipend. It was a solid gig, but I definitely worked more than 20 hours a week. The summer between grad school years I did an internship in Alabama of all places at Auburn University. My goal was to move to California after grad school so I applied to 2 California schools, one in DC, FL, NC, and then Auburn almost as a joke, but I paper I really liked their program. After phone interviews with a number of schools, I also was shocked to realize that I really liked my interview with Auburn. Since I never studied abroad I thought why not spent 10 weeks in Alabama. Well, I loved it - much to my surprise!

When it came time to start job searching for my first full-time job out of grad school I had my eye on as I came to call it “the smile of the US” aka anything along a coast East, West or South. California was my top choice, but I knew I had to go where the jobs were. In addition to Cali, I was focused on warmer climates so the Southeast, particularly Florida were high on my list. I was also searching in North Texas since my Dad had just moved from south Florida to Dallas. I also kept my eye out for any openings at Auburn. I ended up having on-campus interviews at 2 schools in North Texas and one school in south Florida, plus an interview offer at a school in Savannah. I ended up choosing to work at Midwestern State University in Wichita Falls, Texas. Which was about 2 hours north of Dallas and 10 miles south of the Oklahoma border. I really like the school, the job, and the prospect of being 2 hours away from my Dad. I did not, however, realize what a podunk town it was and what a fish out of water I was going to be. Thankfully I did find some friends and I really needed them after only 5 months of living in North Texas when my Dad died. After about 10 days out of the office, I came back to work and Texas which some folks didn’t think I would, but I quickly realized I couldn’t stand to stay there without him.

I started looking for jobs in spring while nursing my wounds back to health with a new puppy and watching season 7 of American Idol. I applied to one job in NYC thinking that maybe I should head home. However, I soon learned of a job opening back at Auburn in the office where I interned. I actually interviewed for the job on campus on my Dad’s birthday. It was comforting to interview with people who knew why I was leaving a job after less than a year and know my recent history. Auburn was a good “layover” of sorts. I loved my job and my office, but my social life left more to be desired. After a serious relationship started to bloom and I began to feel real pressure to put down roots in Alabama I knew it was time to leave. I needed to date in a city that I could live more long term.

My next stop was George Mason University in Fairfax, VA. Mason was actually one of the schools I was seriously considering for my grad school internship. Unfortunately, this office was saddled with issues from the beginning, staff turn over, vacancies not filled, lack of direction. I also had a combative relationship with my eventual supervisor. I’m convinced there was some ageism involved, she thought I was climbing the ranks too quickly and saw me as a kid. Keep in mind she never made any attempt to try and know me. All she saw were my flaws and she refused to ever give me any of her time unless I begged for it. In retrospect trying to get her to “like me” or “respect me” or “be proud of me” led in part to my workaholism because I felt rejected and abandoned by an authority figure (only in hindsight and after a lot of therapy can I piece that all together). It was a slow burn of trauma, but traumatic nonetheless. I had spent a solid 18 months searching jobs in southern California, where my heart was set to go and the guy I was seriously dating (spoiler alert he's now my fiance)  was also very interested in a Cali move, but the jobs weren’t right. I interviewed for three jobs out there and turned down the two I was offered. At this point, I couldn’t wait for California anymore. I was so burnt out that I started seriously applying for jobs outside of higher ed.

I found myself in a few interview processes in the DC Metro corporate sphere. I kept my eye on Director level jobs in higher ed in DC, but given my specialty area they were far and few between. Imagine my surprise that while I was in the middle of a lengthy interview process with one company, my dream titled job came up in DC. The process moved quickly and I got the "dream" job. Year one on the job started off with a steep learning curve. I was trying so hard to do it all, to impress everyone, to come off confident and self-assured that I was burning the wick at both ends. And this was BEFORE 50% of my staff left. Okay in all fairness I run a two-person office, so when my one staffer left (and I 100% understand why he did, he was given a bigger shit sandwich than I was handed and he had to eat it longer). I was alone 6 months into the job as I approached my work's peak season. It was hell, I was drowning, and stupid me didn’t realize it. After years of learning how to survive nightmare situations, your reflexes kick in. I was in survival mode and I was surviving at all cost. The biggest collateral damage was on my mental health and my sleep. I had never slept 2-4 hours a night for weeks at a time and it was taking its toll.

When I hired my new staff member in the midst of this I made it a point to reintroduce myself after the storm had passed. I even quoted Fight Club saying “you met me at a very strange time in my life.” Strange = horrific, but I wasn’t ready to acknowledge had bad it was and how much of it I let happen. Ultimately like most people in recovery, I felt like everything was happening TO ME, but I now know it was happening FOR ME. I needed to hit rock bottom particularly around my workaholism and lack of boundaries. The past year has been so much better for so many reasons, including a wonderful new supervisor who for the first time in a long time I know undoubtedly has my back. I don’t know how long I’ll stay where I am or in the field in general. I'm working all these side hustles and really digging into this project to see if I can achieve my dream of living a creative and connection-filled life on my own terms.

[measuringlife]

Girly Overload

Between wedding planning and now home remodeling I’m getting sucked into a vortex of things I’ve actively tried to not care about ever.

Today we met with a design/renovation husband and wife team that came recommended by neighbors. I was basically like I have no vision, I just want it function, to flow, and to not be an eyesore like our current outdated kitchen and bath. When asked about our style I was like ummmm we’re going for a beachy vibe, despite not being near a beach or major body of water…

I’ve never been a “girly-girl” and I never spent time dreaming about weddings or homes. So of this upcoming planning is going to test my will for sure!

But at the end of the day I’ll be married to my guy and have a beautiful new kitchen and master bath so it’s worth. Oh and I’ll be broke haha.

Woooosaaaaa

Seriously who wants to be my wedding planner and project manage my remodel…

[measuringlife]

Change is good, especially when the change is a less toxic work environment. Two big work changes happened at the end of March over the last two years. . Two years ago the VP of my division AKA my boss’s boss retired after a long reign (although I only worked under her for ~8 months). Unsurprisingly that lead to a number of shake ups and change ups which I think were for the best. The best shakeup was that last year at this time my boss left! Now don’t get me wrong he was a fine person, but a good supervisor he was not. . For the last year I’ve been reporting to my old boss’s new boss who is the VP of my division. She’s been the best boss I’ve had in a decade at least if not the best boss ever. She always makes time for me despite her insane schedule, she has been a proven champion of my work, gives me words of affirmation, and is a straight shooter like me. We actually have the same birthday so I knew we’d been a good pairing! I was actually only supposed to interimly report to her, but she decided to keep me as a permanent direct report because of the high impact nature of my work. I joke, but it’s true I work with everyone in my organization from the President to Facilities. . I am truly amazed how a change in supervisor really became a whole new ballgame at work. Granted, I was also starting to sink into my personal development journey last year and had been in recovery for my workaholism for a number of months, so the stars were in alignment. I don’t have plans for stay in my field for much longer, but I’m glad that the time I have recently spent/will spend has been/will be enjoyable until I fully embrace the entrepreneur lifestyle. .

[measuringlife]

Welcome to my new full logo!

This logo was created with love by my dear friend and talented graphic designer A.

Quick backstory. Orange is my favorite color, but the hot pink has been part of the Measuring Life journey since the beginning (including my Measuring Life tattoo I got in Nov 2010). The Measuring pink color and font reflects my tattoo. Life is orange because the color orange is loud, bright, and unapologetic - which is how I try to lead my life. The hourglass in addition to a nod to an hourglass figure is a reminder that “life’s like an hourglass glued to the table” - a favorite lyric from the Anna Nalick song Breathe 2AM.

The Rent soundtrack inspired my moniker. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year while also remembering there’s no day but today!

[measuringlife]

New Profile Pic!!

Tomorrow I’ll share the full logo and rebrand, but this is the heart of it and will be my profile picture across all social media.

I first came across my previous silhouette picture in 2007 during an early iPod marketing campaign and I liked that it was Jessica Rabbit-esque. Jessica Rabbit has that “perfect” hourglass body. When I launched my Measuring Life Tumblr anonymously in 2010 I thought back to that picture as #goals plus music is something I always pair with fitness. So when it came to a custom logo I had a few inspiration pieces. Needless to say the hourglass is central to my Measuring Life identity.

[measuringlife]

Then and Now

1 year ago today I ran the Dublin Marathon

Today, I’ve been sidelined by injury since this summer. Also since the summer have gained more weight then I care to know and have just fallen off the fitness wagon. 

Feeling a little lost and I’m trying to find who I am in the new life I have which is different from the life I was leading a year ago...

[measuringlife]

Household Squatting

Yesterday was chock full of adulting:

painting another wall in the master bedroom (2 down, 2 to go)

buying vertical blinds at home depot (among other things) and then installing them

ripping out weeds and other plant monsters from the front of the house

sweeping, lots and lots of outdoor sweeping 

Between squatting and crouching to tape baseboards/paint/weed/clean up swept up debris my legs are sore today, but sore in a good way

I also learned the ideal time to go to Home Depot or do other grown up errands - when you city’s football team is playing. Literally employees at Home Depot were desperate to help us since it was so quiet and one remarked that when the Redskins (withholding comment about how racist and disgusting our team name is) are playing it’s always quiet! 

[measuringlife]

My pants are tight

August has been a doozy with my birthday, moving into the house, vacation, house projects galore (and for the foreseeable future), and finally an 85 hour 6 day work week in prep for the start of the school year.  

The first day of the semester is here and I have not been to the gym in a month. I feel very out of shape and know I could at least be eating better. I’m out of town this weekend for a wedding (hi E!) in Chicago and then plan on getting into the groove of a new gym, a new schedule, and back to meal prep. 

My life has had a lot of changes lately, but I need to ground myself and find balance. There will always been work and there will always be house projects. I cannot ignore myself! 

PS. Full disclosure I looked into deferring my Army 10 miler registration, but they don’t offer deferments and its too late to transfer. So I think I am going to devise a walk/run plan because there is no way I’ll be trained up for it properly on 10/9. 

[measuringlife]

WIW

2 weeks ago: 196.0

Today: 193.0

New job, new schedule, fell off the workout wagon but I’m back on! I hope to be back in tumblr-land more regularly soon!