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avasharpe · 4 years

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Sugar and Salt

Chapter: One of ?

Summary: Amaya is trying to run a business and raise her newly orphaned niece; she doesn't have time for a relationship no matter how much she cares for Zari.

Sara just wants the other kids to stop bullying her kid and can't figure out why Sin’s teacher, Ava is so difficult.

Zari’s trying to raise her little brother and give him the childhood she never had. All the while trying to hide her feelings for Amaya.

When unexpected circumstances force them all to admit their feelings in an attempt to form honest relationships, they find that it's not as easy as it seems.

Fandom: DC’s Legends of Tomorrow.

Relationship: Amaya Jiwe/Zari Tomaz and Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe

Characters: Amaya Jiwe, Zari Tomaz, Behrad Tomaz, Kuasa, Sara Lance, Kendra Saunders, Sin, Aldus Boardman, Ava Sharpe, Damien Darhk, Ray Palmer, Nate Heywood, Mona Wu.

Rating: Mature.

Additional Tags: Bakery and Coffee Shop, Teacher AU, School, Mutual Pining, Parent-Teacher AU, Kids, Baking, Non-binary character, Trans Character, Disabled Character, later chapters will have smut. Chapter one is smut free.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

Special thanks to @canaryatlaw for Beta reading and editing this!

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Amaya watched as the chocolate dripped down the side of the cake. In the cool back room of her bakery, it soon hardened in perfect droplets down the side of the cake. She gently turned it around and around dripping the chocolate down the sides. The morning February sun filtered in through the back windows, leaving soft golden light on the black mats beneath her feet. Everything was quiet, save for the sound of the morning birds as they called out to greet the Sun. Having done all the baking the night before, all Amaya had to do this morning was turn it into a work of art.

Amaya loved working like this, coming in early in the morning and opening up, where she could be alone in her space. These days she didn’t get to do that very often as someone else took precedence over her work. She looked up and glanced over at Kuasa asleep on the couch in Sara and Zari’s shared office, the little girl was curled up like a cat. Amaya hated to drag her into work at such an early hour, as she was still getting used to the early morning hours her aunt kept.

Amaya had officially adopted Kuasa three months ago, when Amaya’s sister and brother in law died in a car crash nine months ago. They were both still mourning the loss and not a day went by that Amaya didn’t think of Esi and Jafari. She wished she could be half the parent that Esi was, but it was so hard. Kuasa had so much anger at the loss she had suffered. Amaya was still trying to get her to trust the home she had built.

Amaya went back to work swirling the chocolate on top, and began to prep the other decorations. By the time she was done the sun had risen, and she looked at the clock as she placed the cake in a box with their purple logo stamped on top. Jiwe’s Bakery had started out with her baking goods for friends and family in her kitchen in high school. After culinary school and a generous investment from her parents, she opened her doors in the big city and things had only grown from there. Luckily she wasn’t alone in the endeavor, she had Sara, Kendra, Zari, and her family. They all believed in her and were so proud of the woman she had become.

Although they were usually closed on Saturday, this Saturday was the student bake sale at the school. Deemed mandatory by the PTA. Despite the fact that she was mad that all of the money was all going to the school’s new sports field, and not being used for textbooks or school equipment. Amaya had to convince Kuasa that it would be a good learning experience. She could finally see what it was like for her aunt as she ran the bakery. Amaya had gone as far as to get a food handler permit for her niece. Kuasa had reluctantly prepared her poster and came up with a name for her “business.”

After placing the cake box in the fridge, Amaya walked into the office. Amaya never felt the need to have one, the kitchen was her office. After dusting off her hands on the cloth she kept tucked in the waistband of her apron, she sat down on the couch next to Kuasa. She gently swept the little girl’s Havana twist braids away from her face.

“Time to wake up little one,” Amaya said, keeping her voice as soft as the morning around her.

Kuasa finally stirred, throwing her hands over her eyes trying to block out the morning light.

“It’s too early, Nana Ba.”

Amaya chuckled at the teasing nickname she had given her. “If I can get up at this hour despite being so old, then certainly someone as young as you can do so as well.”

Kuasa groaned, but sat up and rubbed her eyes. Amaya stood up and led the sleepy girl out into the kitchen. While Kuasa washed her hands, Amaya placed the dough on the table in front of her. She checked the oven and prepared the cookie sheet. Kuasa finally came over and yawned, not bothering to cover her mouth.

“Why are we doing this?” Kuasa complained.

“You know why. There are things we have to do and this is one of them. It’s a good thing to learn.”

“Why, I’m not going to take over your bakery. I’m not you.”

“This isn’t about that, it’s to help you learn good money exchange skills and besides its mandatory for all fourth graders.”

Kuasa made a face and mumbled something about the PTA being stupid. Amaya let it slide as Kuasa voiced her frustrations, and the PTA had gradually slipped on to Amaya’s shit list.

Amaya broke off a small portion of the dough and rolled it into a ball. Kuasa then pressed her thumb into the middle of the ball, flattening it out and creating a tiny bowl. Kuasa then spooned out a bit of jam and filled the indentation she had made.

They continued until they had used up all the dough and placed the last cookie sheet in the oven. Then they got to work packaging the cookies into individual bags and tying them closed. Between their industrial mixer and their usual recipe, they made twice as much as they needed, but Amaya figured they could always give away what they didn’t sell.

As they were putting the cookie bags into boxes, Mrs. Solsa knocked on the door. Amaya again wiped her hands on the cloth at her waist and got the cake from the fridge.

“Here you go Mrs. Solsa,” Amaya said, letting her in and presenting the cake for her inspection.

“Oh thank you Miss Jiwe, I do so appreciate you doing this for me and on your day off too.” Mrs. Solsa said smiling down at the cake. “And it’s such a beautiful cake too.”

“I was happy to do it,” Amaya said as she opened the door for Mrs. Solsa and waved to her as she walked out to her car.

Amaya locked the door behind her and looked up at the clock on the wall. It was half past eight, and they had to be there in time to set up before the sale opened at nine.

“Kuasa, why don’t you start loading these in the car?” Amaya said as she came back into the kitchen and packed up the rest of the cookies into a box.

“Okay Nana Ba,” Kuasa said, picking up two of the boxes and walking out the back door to the gravel parking lot in the alleyway behind the store.

Amaya just shook her head at her and tied up the box with twine.

They had loaded half the boxes in the trunk of Amaya’s car when she saw Zari’s old black hatchback pull up. Zari parked next to Amaya’s car and hopped out, running up to Amaya in a panic.

“I completely forgot about the bake sale! Please tell me you have some cookies or I’m screwed!” Zari exclaimed.

Amaya supposed she shouldn’t, but she laughed anyway and placed the box of cookies that she was carrying in Zari’s arms. As her business expanded, Amaya looked into having an actual website rather than just a Facebook page, that’s how she met Zari. The young computer programmer and social media influencer was a frequent customer and admirer of everything Amaya made. After her parents died, leaving her the responsibility of raising her young brother, Zari needed a real job.

Zari brought them into the 21st century, with a new cashier setup that streamlined the financial side and website that allowed customers to make any custom orders. Zari also set up a growing social media platform that boosted business, catching the eye of people all around the world. She kept them up to date on the latest kitchen gadgets and technology. Four years later, Amaya couldn’t remember ever running the business without her.

“Does Behrad have a sign and everything else ready?” Amaya asked.

“Yes,” Zari said as she surveyed the cookies. “He’s good, he’s got a great sign and everything. I don’t know what I was thinking the last few days. I just completely forgot.”

Amaya puts her arm around Zari as they both walked to the back of her car with the rest of the cookies. Zari opened the trunk and set the box down. Amaya glanced at her, now worry free, Zari picked up one of the cookies and surveyed it. They had never sold thumbprint cookies, but Kuasa decided that’s what she wanted. Hence, it was a new recipe Amaya had created by tweaking the original one.

Amaya could see the wheels turning in Zari’s head as she looked over the cookies to see if one would be missed. Zari unwrapped the packaging and shoved it into her mouth, letting out a sigh of happiness as she so often did whenever Amaya asked her to be her taste tester.

“It’s so good,” Zari said, her mouth full of cookie crumbs.

A soft smile spread its way across Amaya’s face and her heart fluttered in her chest with a familiar feeling.

“Zari!” Behrad shouted at her from the back seat, his soft brown hair disheveled as he and Zari were dressed in matching flannel shirts. “Those aren't for you. They’re for the bake sale.”

“I'm just trying one out,” Zari replied, opening her eyes and catching Amaya smiling at her.

Zari smiled back and licked her lips and it took a minute for Amaya to come back to herself.

“We should get going,” Amaya said, taking a step backwards towards her car.

“Right,” Zari said, closing her trunk door.

Amaya got into her car and clicked her seatbelt, glancing into the rearview mirror at Kuasa. A habit that she'd had since she first drove the girl home from the hospital with her sister and her husband in the back seat.

“Why do you and Zari look at each other like that?” Kuasa asked, innocently enough.

“Like what?” Amaya said, knowing exactly what Kuasa was talking about as she turned the key in the car.

“I don't know? I guess it's just how you smile at her sometimes.”

Amaya looked back at her in the rearview mirror before she pulled the car into the alleyway. She was reluctant to admit the feelings that she had for Zari. Her life was complicated enough with Kuasa and the business. Amaya didn't want to lose her best friend, but she couldn’t help the way she looked at Zari and the want she had for her.

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They made it to school in good time, and they all shuffled into the gym with only mild looks from the other parents. Everyone was already there with their tables set up. It was rows and rows of the little plastic top tables, all neatly decorated and arranged with different treats.

“Hey, I’m glad you’re here,” Mona Wu, the school’s bus driver, and recess referee greeted them. “Sin and Sara, and Aldus and Kendra are waiting for you just over there.”

“Thank you Miss Wu,” Behrad said as they made their way over to the corner tables where they were sitting.

“Hey you guys,” Kendra said, with a bright smile as greeted them.

“We reserved those two tables for you,” Aldus said, rolling up to them in his wheelchair.

“Thanks Aldus,” Zari said, setting her boxes of cookies on the table.

“Yes, thank you,” Amaya said, doing the same with the table next to Zari.

When Amaya hired Kendra who was working as a barista and pastry chef. Kendra was fresh out of culinary school with little to no experience, but more passion than Amaya knew a person could have. She helped Amaya to double her custom orders and decorated their window display with the best pastries in town.

Kendra was a newlywed when Amaya hired her and got pregnant soon after she started. When Aldus was born with spina bifida, her husband, Carter quit his job to be a stay at home dad and Kendra continued to work at the bakery.

Amaya spread out the fresh white tablecloth and Kuasa taped up her sign. She had grabbed a few of their nicer display racks that they used for weddings and other special occasions. They added class to the otherwise plain table and Amaya caught Kuasa’s look of pride as they organized the cookies.

It didn't take long and Amaya sat down in one go the extra chairs, looking over at Sara. She had her eyes closed and head resting in her arms over the money box. Sin was busy playing a game on her Nintendo switch and looked equally tired.

Sara opened her eyes sensing Amaya’s gaze and gave her a small smile.

“Hey sleepyhead,” Amaya said as Sara yawned and stretched. Hiring Sara was a no-brainer. Amaya loved baking, but was totally lost her first month in trying to keep up with the day to day sales, revenue, taxes, and balancing the budget.

Sara had dropped out of college with a bachelor's and several classes in business under her belt after she had followed Oliver Queen to business school. Amaya just knew she was the one from the moment she walked into the kitchen and showed Amaya how to keep a record of sales and supplies so she’d never run out. Amaya hired her on the spot, and she’s never regretted her choice. Sara kept the business running so that Amaya could focus on what she loved.

Sara got pregnant shortly after Kendra did, and Amaya had no problem with Sara bringing Sin in with her. Although Sin wasn’t allowed in the kitchen, the office became a second nursery and was still a playroom for all the kids.

“I was up way too late last night. Sin decided that they wanted their design to be in the non-binary colors instead of just the purple and black they had originally picked out. So I had to run out and buy all new napkins and the ribbon for the bags,” Sara explained as she held up one of the cookie bags tied up with four colors of thin ribbon.

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“Well, it looks great.” Zari smiled.

Zari looked over at Kendra’s table. The sign Aldus had designed was perfect, and he must have used Kendra’s letter cutting machine. The table was just as put together and was highly decorated with Kendra’s fine dining tablecloth, and good china.

Sara’s table looked just as put together. Although Sin had handwritten their poster, they had inspectable handwriting and had alternating colored letters in the non-binary flag of yellow, white, purple, and black. They had also decorated the table with matching colored napkins and plastic black tablecloth.

Zari looked down at the empty white table that had been provided for them and figured that it would have to do. She looked over at Behrad and could tell he was disappointed as he taped up his poster. Zari kicked herself for not being on top of this.

She had been Behrad’s legal guardian for four years now. Despite that, she still felt like she did during the first year when she was still trying to figure out how to be a parent.She looked over at Amaya as she spread a table cloth across Kuasa’s table. Like Zari, she had found herself as Kuasa’s legal guardian a year ago, but she was already doing a better job than Zari ever had.

Behrad was busy arranging the cookies. She picked up a few and tried to put it in place next to the line he had created.

“I got it,” Behrad insisted as he pushed her away.

“Okay,” Zari said, sitting back and looking over at Sara.

Sara smiled back before yawning again. “Are we starting yet?”

“Not yet honey,” Kendra said, giving her smile. “But you’ll want to stay up. I see Mrs. Tabitha headed this way.”

They all looked over to see the witch of an old woman strolling from table to table, making pleasant talk with the other parents and kids. Although she was merely the principal’s secretary, she ran the school like she was in charge. They all groaned, with disdain painted across their faces. Zari crossed her arms but put on a smile as she approached, with Sara, Kendra, and Amaya following her lead. Tabitha had a particular hatred of them, making all these functions impossible.

“Well hello Dearies,” Tabitha said with pseudo cheerfulness as she looked around their tables. “Now what do we have here?”

She reached to pick up one of Kuasa’s cookies, turning the bag over in her hand.

“They’re thumbprint cookies fresh out of the oven this morning,” Kuasa happily announced, her shoulders straight and head held high in pride.

“Oh?” Tabitha tisked. “These look awfully familiar.”

Tabitha reached into her pocket and pulled out another cookie. Zari recognized it as one of their Jammie Dodgers catching the purple Jiwe Bakery logo. Tabitha held the two cookies side by side.

“Miss Jiwe, I am surprised at the lack of effort on your part, taking pre-made cookies from your store. I thought you, a baker of all people would I’ve had the best cookies here today.”

Zari’s mouth fell open in shock. Was the woman blind? The thumbprint cookies and the Jammie Dodgers weren’t even remotely the same.

“We made them ourselves this morning at the bakery that’s my fingerprint,” Kuasa said, pointing to the jam in her cookie.

“Miss Tabitha,” Amaya said trying to explain herself. “We did bake these cookies at the bakery this morning, but we did so by ourselves. They are homemade, as the requirements stated.”

“Yes, but you and your niece admitted that you made them at the bakery this morning. Who is to say you didn’t simply grab some cookies that were intended for sale at your business and try to pass them off as homemade? I’m afraid such action must disqualify you and Kuasa and from selling these cookies today.”

“But that’s not fair,” Kuasa shouted. “We made these!”

“Miss Tabitha we did make these at the bakery and I promise you we had our own recipe. It seems unfair to disqualify us, just because you believe we’re being untruthful.”

“How dare you call me a liar? My decision is final. Pack up your things and please leave at once. You too, Miss Tomaz,” Tabitha said, picking up one of Behrad’s cookies and shaking her head. “Don’t think I didn’t notice how unprepared you are today, and stealing your friend's cookies. What a bad example you two have set for the children that have been entrusted into your care. I’d hate to see such behavior continue.”

Zari couldn’t believe what Tabitha had just said, bluntly threatening them like that. She was ready to open her mouth and call out Tabitha for being the entitled bitch that she was, but Zari held her tongue. She knew that it would only make things worse. Zari looked over at Behrad, he hung his head and stared at the ground in defeat.

Kuasa let out an enraged shout and stomped. Amaya looked over at Zari, she could see her feeling of failure mirrored on Amaya’s face.

Zari thought that would be the end of Tabitha’s rant, but she turned towards Sara and Kendra with accusatory eyes. She turned her attention towards Aldus and Sin’s tables, quickly picking up one of each of their cookies and inspecting them.

“You have to pay for that, you know,” Sara said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Tabitha tutted, but continued her inspection. “I suppose these will have to do.”

Zari looked down. She felt like she had brought Tabitha’s wrath upon all of her friends as she was the one who pissed her off several years ago. She looked over at Behrad who was sitting quietly in the chairs, just staring blankly at the floor.

“This isn’t fair!” Kuasa shouted stomping her feet and getting Tabitha’s attention.

“Kuasa’s right, none of these rules were ever presented to us, and you can't just change them the day of,” Amaya said placing a hand on Kuasa’s shoulder, backing them up.

“You're just being mean because you don't like us,” Kuasa announced, her words catching the attention of everyone in the area.

“What's going on here?” Mona asked as she and Ms. Ava Sharpe, Sin and Behrad’s teacher, approached them.

“Tabitha has disqualified us all for absurd reasons,” Zari said.

“They're not absurd,” Tabitha screeched. “They were all in clear violation of the rules.”

“They’re stupid rules!” Kuasa said.

“It's because Amaya and I bought the cookies she made at the bakery, but she didn’t use one of our recipes,” Zari explained to them.

“I don’t see why that’s a problem? They used the resources available to them,” Mona asked with a confused look on her face.

“I agree, that should disqualify them,” Ms. Sharpe said, crossing her arms as well.

“Well,” Tabitha said, clearly enraged that Mona and Ms. Sharpe weren't taking her side. But then she smiled in a way that made Zari uneasy. “Why don't we let principal Darhk decide.”

Zari sighed and even Kuasa deflated, as they all knew Darhk would take Tabitha's side, and his word would be final.

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“Well, I must say I agree with Miss Tabitha on this. The rules were clearly stated beforehand and you have indeed broken them,” Principal Darhk said, as he sat across from them at his desk in his office.

Tabitha stood next to him with a triumphant smile. Zari and Amaya stood in front of his desk, as their children waited outside.

“But the rules were only changed yesterday!” Zari protested.

“On the contrary, they were actually changed more than a week ago. There was an email if I recall. If you want to see the date it’s printed right here,” Darhk said holding up the piece of paper for them, his finger on a date. He wore that easy smile he always had that put Zari on edge.

“All right, we’ll go,” Amaya said, turning towards the door in defeat.

“Hold on Dearie,” Tabatha said with a cunning smile. “The bake sale was a mandatory volunteer day for all parents. Since the two of you have been banned from participating, you will have to make up that volunteer work somewhere else.”

“Fine,” Zari said wearily, hoping that this simply meant volunteering in class, but knowing that was unlikely.

“Yes, and that reminds me we need some people to help set up for the spring concert. I’m sure our music teacher, Mrs. Heywood, would appreciate some help with the decorations.” Darhk said, folding his hands together. “So I will see the two of you here, this Monday at 9 a.m. You should only have to work until 3pm or so if you work diligently and it should only take a week.”

“What?” They both cried out.

“But we have a business to run?” Amaya said.

There was no way Kendra and Sara could do everything on their own. Even if they did the morning baking, there was no way they could work at full capacity and make all of the week's orders. It took both her and Kendra, and Sara was not used to doing more than helping out.

“Well, you should have thought about that before you broke the rules of the bake sale,” Tabitha snared.

“Surely we can work out a schedule where each of us can volunteer at different times,” Zari said.

“I’m afraid not,” Darhk said. “There is a lot of work to be done and we absolutely need all hands on deck.”

“You can’t do this! You can’t mandate us to volunteer during the workweek,” Amaya said, taking a defiance stance.

“Oh, but we can, all right here in the contract that you signed, and you signed up for the PTA at the beginning of the year. It is a public school after all, and we don’t have the resources of private education,” Darhk said, as he pulled the contract out of his desk, holding it over to them.

Amaya took the paper rather forcefully from his hand, looking it over and flipping through the pages before finally finding the section on the bake sale.

“All parents must volunteer in the bake sale held in February. The rules of which will be sent out in an email unless parents are present at the PTA meeting during which they will be handed out to them. Failure to partake will result in additional volunteer hours administered by the administration at their discretion,” Amaya read aloud. “Yeah, it doesn’t say anything about you forcing us all to volunteer at the same time during the workweek.”

“Yes, but the workweek is the only time that the school is open. I wouldn’t want my teachers having to give up their weekend, simply because two parents failed their duties at the school, and it does specify the likes of which in index A.”

“What index A,” Amaya exclaimed, waving the paper about. “I don’t remember seeing an index A and I read this thing from front to back at the beginning of the school year.”

Darhk merely turned around and opened one of his cabinets, pulling out another section of papers, handing them over to Amaya. “I believe it’s page 4, before subsection C.”

Amaya grabbed it out of his hand and went to the page and read aloud again. “Mandatory parent volunteer work must not exceed but is not limited to 40 consecutive hours, administered at the administration’s discretion.”

That’s illegal, you can’t force us to provide unpaid labor for a whole week!” Zari shouted.

“It’s not unpaid labor. It’s volunteer work. Work that you all agreed to do when you signed the contract joining the PTA. I thought you of all people Mis. Jiwe would have read the contract in its entirety. You are a businesswoman.”

If looks could kill their combination of hated glares would have set Darhk and Tabitha six feet under. Zari was appalled at the things this administration was pulling out of their ass just to punish them.

Amaya clenched her hands, no doubt wishing that they would be around Damien’s neck. Zari had similar thoughts of anger, but she would never risk anything that would jeopardize Behrad’s place at the school. It was the best public school in the district, and she wouldn’t risk Behrad’s education over petty revenge. She would, however, have a long prayer for Allah later today.

Amaya turned around and opened the door, leaving. Zari gave them one dirty look before following her out.

The kids were sitting in the chairs just outside the office waiting for them. with Sara, Sin, Kendra, and Aldus, waiting with them. They all looked up with hopeful gazes as they left office, only to see their defeat and anger as they walked out.

“Time to go home,” Amaya announced.

Zari walked over to Behrad and put her arm around his shoulder as he got up, but he quickly shrugged her off. She watched as he ran ahead to stand next to Aldus, holding his hand as he left the school. He has been doing that a lot lately. After their parents died he had sought out her comfort almost hourly, but recently his behavior had changed as he rebuffed her.

They all walked out to the parking lot in silence, carrying their boxes. The bake sale was in full swing as people walked in and out of the gym. Sara and Kendra had walked out in support of them and Tabatha screamed that they would be forced to volunteer as well.

“Does anyone want to go out for brunch? Amaya asked in a clear attempt to cheer them all up.

“Not today,” Kendra said as they approached her van and she opened the door with her remote to let the ramp out.

“Yeah, it's a no from us too,” Sara said. “I think I'm just going to go home and sleep, and then maybe hit the skatepark later.”

“We’ll go with you,” Zari said.

“We will?” Behard asked, catching her words.

“Yeah,” Zari shrugged, it's not like they had anything better to do.

Amaya smiled at her and Zari’s heart did a flip flop. It seemed that Amaya had that smile just for her. It made Zari wonder if she had feelings for her as well, or if it was just a misguided attempt to read between the lines. Her greatest fear was that Amaya didn't like her back or that she would be put off by Zari's advances. Zari loved their relationship as friends too much to try and ruin them, and the thought of losing Amaya was unbearable.

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Twenty minutes later they’re both downtown and seated at a booth in one of the nicer places in town. It was a modern dinner that was cheaper than the chain franchises and twice as good. But, the coffee was not as good as the coffee Kendra makes, of course. The waitress came by to take their order and Zari ordered a whole large breakfast plate as usual. Amaya smiled at her appetite and ordered an extra round of hash browns in addition to her order that would come out before the main dishes.

“Can we go play?” Behrad asked, looking towards the kid's table that was set up with board games and other toys.

Amaya was reluctant to let them go as it meant letting Kuasa out of her sight.

“Yeah, go on,” Zari said, getting up so Behrad could get out of the booth.

“Thanks,” he said as Kuasa also got up and ran to the table.

Amaya watched them go, her eyes trailing after Kuasa as she and Behrad picked out a board game and started to set it up.

“Relax, they’ll be fine,” Zari said, with a gentle voice, leaning over and grabbing hold of Amaya’s hand.

Amaya looked down at Zari’s hand in hers. She tried not to let Zari see the blush on her cheek and the way her heart fluttered in her chest.

“I know,” Amaya said, looking back over at Kuasa. “But I just can’t get over the feeling that I could lose her.”

“Yeah, I felt like that too for the first year after our parents died,” Zari said, looking over to the kids as well.

“Will it get any easier?” Amaya asked, looking back at Zari. “I just feel like Kuasa is so mad all the time, at me, at the world, at everything. I’ve been trying all the anger management stuff the parenting books suggest, but nothing works.”

“I don’t know. I hope so. I just keep watching as Behard further isolates himself in his room. I brought up maybe going to see the therapist again, but it just ended with both of us yelling at each other,” Zari said, shaking her head and looking away. “He doesn’t look at me like a parent, he just sees me as his annoying big sister.”

“I used to be the cool aunt who would let her eat frosting and play at the park all day,” Amaya said with a sad smile. “Now I have to make sure she eats her vegetables and does her homework. It’s a rough transition, I get it.”

Zari looked back at her and Amaya squeezed her hand. It felt nice to be able to have someone who was going through what she was. Kendra and Sara were a great help too, but they gave birth to their kids and that parenting role was theirs from day one. They weren’t thrust into parenthood with a child that wasn’t used to seeing them in a caregiver position, like Amaya was.

“Maybe you should go see them first Zari. If Behrad sees you going, then maybe he’ll go as well.”

“I don’t know,” Zari admitted, hesitant to talk with a stranger, even a professional. “It’s not like I can just get a babysitter or take off work.”

“Why not,” Amaya shrugged. “I’d be happy to cover for you at the bakery or babysit if you needed me to, and I’m sure Kendra and Sara would say the same thing.”

“Thanks, I’ll think about it. For now, I might as well just get around to finishing that book Eshal gave me at the mosque about raising Muslim boys.”

“That sounds like a good place to start.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I guess reading it made me feel like I wasn’t good enough.”

“That’s not true, you are good enough,” Amaya said, reaching over and squeezing Zari’s hand. “Just think of it like this. Parenting is something you’ve never done before and you’re just learning how to do it. I know it’s hard and if you want, I have a few books I’ve used and maybe we can share.”

“That’d be great, thanks,” Zari said, giving her a small smile.

Amaya smiled back, and it’s so soft and full of love that it made Zari feel like her smile grew to match. Her heart swelled in her chest as Amaya gave Zari her love. Zari looked over at her. Everything about Amaya was soft, her demeanor, her voice, her eyes, her touch, her smile, her everything.

Zari felt like she was always too rough around the edges. She felt that if someone got too close, they would scratch themselves. Amaya never cared about her rough shape, she took Zari’s bluntness and sarcasm and she smiled at her because of it. In return, Zari tried to be more honest and not hide the tender parts of herself from Amaya.

“Enough about the kids,” Zari said, looking down hoping to hide her pink cheeks. “Tell me about any new baking ideas you have.”

This was her favorite question to ask Amaya because her face lit up, and Zari could see the excitement build up as Amaya sat up straighter.

“Well, I’ve been thinking about doing this new treat of the month sort of thing. For example, in October, I was considering doing little mini pumpkin pie cakes. They wouldn’t quite be a pumpkin pie, I’m thinking I’d make it more thick and fluffy like a cake and more on the sweeter side. I haven’t quite gotten down a recipe I prefer, but I’ve been experimenting in my free time and I think I found something that would work well, but there was this one…”

Zari smiled as she watched Amaya go on and on about her idea. Her happy enthusiasm was so enjoyable, and she lit up like the sun. Zari loved watching her passion come through in everything that Amaya did. She scribbled down her brainstormed ideas for recipes on little post-it notes and enthusiastically told their customers about the masterpieces she was going to make. One that will make their special day one they would never forget.

When the waitress came over and dropped off the plate of hash browns, Amaya paused to say thank you to her before going back to describing her idea. The flowered lemon tart that Amaya wanted to make for April would have made Zari’s mouth water. If she wasn’t already stuffing it with hash browns. The next few minutes flew by, and soon the waitress was returning with their meals, placing the plates down in front of them.

Kuasa and Behrad returned, arguing over who won their game of checkers that never truly ended. They all laughed and talked and for an hour and Zari forgot about the disaster of the bake sale and about her failed parenting. After they finished eating, Zari suggested that they all go to the park.

The kids took off the moment they got there, heading straight for the playground. Zari and Amaya spent the first half hour playing with them and chasing them around the play center. The early gray morning and light misting rain meant that there were only a few other adults and kids in the park. So Zari and Amaya weren’t too concerned when Kuasa and Behrad ran off to play hide and seek in the trees with a few of the other kids.

Zari all but collapsed onto the park bench, sighing and slipping off her coat that had suddenly become too hot. Amaya’s laugh is clear and rich as she sat down next to her.

“See I don’t need a workout. I can just pretend to be the Lava Monster and I’ll have a six pack by the end of the week.”

Amaya grabbed her hand and laughed again, throwing her head back and letting herself laugh, loud and full. Zari smiled as her heart felt like someone had wrapped it in a warm electric blanket. Once Amaya’s laughter died down, she just stared at Zari in delight, a subtle smirk on her lips.

“What?” Zari asked.

“Nothing.” Amaya looked down and Zari could see her cheeks flush and not because of the cold or their bout of energy.

Zari wasn’t a fool. She knew Amaya liked her, but something was holding her back from pursuing her. Zari’s not exactly sure what it was, but she had her suspicions. Between the laughter, the smiling, the blushing, the touching. Zari was tired of trying to hide her feelings from Amaya and grasped her hand.

Amaya turned to look at her with an open mouth, and Zari leaned in slowly enough that Amaya could catch on to what she was doing and pull away if she wanted to. Instead, Amaya tilted her head, closed her eyes, and presented her lips to Zari’s. Zari closed her eyes as well and let their lips touch. In an instant, sparks went through them. Zari pressed herself against Amaya and they truly kissed, with lips and tongue and passion. Amaya moaned into the kiss and Zari took it as a sign to keep going. She let her tongue slip in and explore Amaya’s mouth.

When they took a break for air, Zari opened her eyes first. She looked at Amaya, who still had her eyes closed and was standing there with a blissful smile. Amaya blinked and continued to smile at Zari in a way that made her let out a sigh of content, as all of her pent up feelings became a reality.

But Amaya’s face fell. She detangled herself from Zari and scooted an inch away. A distance that was more common among friends or acquaintances. Amaya dropped Zari’s hand and her heart.

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” Amaya explained. “Things with Kuasa are too complicated. I can’t be in a relationship right now when I’m still figuring out how to be a parent to her.”

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you,” Zari said, trying to busy her hands in her jacket pockets.

“Hey,” Amaya said in a softer tone, reaching out and squeezing Zari’s knee. “I... I liked kissing you and maybe once things settle down between Kuasa and I, we give this, you and me, a go.”

“I’d like that,” Zari whispered.

Amaya smiled at her and Zari felt that familiar longing coiled inside her. She could live with it, be patient and wait for Amaya. She would wait for an eternity.

................................................................................

“Eww,” Behrad said, shaking his head and sticking his tongue, as he watched Zari and Amaya kissing. “Ugh, why do grown ups always have to do that? I'm never going to kiss anybody.”

“It’s not that bad,” Kuasa said, but wrinkled her nose anyway.

“Yeah, well what if they get married? I don’t want to be your brother. I already have one sister, I don’t need another.”

“We’re not going to be siblings!” Kuasa exclaimed, then made up her mind. She marched towards Zari and Amaya where they were sitting apart and talking.

“Hey Kuasa,” Amaya greeted her.

“Can we go home? Now!”

“Honey, what happened?” Amaya asked getting up and putting her hands on Kuasa’s shoulders.

“I’m bored and cold.”

Kuasa watched as Amaya sighed, but took off her own hat and pulled it over Kuasa’s ears. “Alright, we can go home.”

“Yeah, we should probably get going too,” Zari said standing up from the bench.

Kuasa looked back at Behrad and Zari who both had similar looks of disappointment on their faces, but she couldn’t understand why. Once she and Amaya were settled in the car, Amaya turned around to look at her before backing out of the parking lot. “Kuasa, did anything happen that made you want to leave the park? If something did, I want to know so I can fix it, honey.”

Kuasa looked over at Zari and Behrad as they climbed into their car as well. Right now it was just her and Amaya and that’s all she wanted it to be. “No, I’m just cold.”

“Okay,” Amaya said, looking over her shoulder as she pulled out of the parking space.

Kuasa watched as Zari gave Amaya a sad wave one Amaya quietly returned. Kuasa tightened her seat belt as the turned onto the road. She couldn't lose Amaya, she just couldn't.

#Zari Tarazi #Amaya Jiwe #Behrad Tarazi #legends of tomorrow #DC's Legends of Tomorrow #DC #Kuasa Jiwe #Zamaya #Sara Lance #Sin Lance #Ava Sharpe #Kendra Saunders #Aldus Boardman #damien darhk #Avalance #FanFic: LoT #FanFic: Zamaya #my fanfics #my writing

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drunkbooksellers · 6 years

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Ep 17: Holland Saltsman - The Novel Neighbor

Epigraph

Welcome to episode 17! We're interviewing the a.m.a.z.i.n.g Holland Saltsman, owner of The Novel Neighbor in Webster Groves, MO.

Listen on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, our website, or subscribe using your podcatcher of choice.

Support the show! All books in our show notes link to Indiebound, a website that connects you with your local independent bookstore. Purchases made through our affiliate links help fund Drunk Booksellers, so you can support your favorite indie bookstore and your favorite podcasting booksellers. #win

If you want to get our show notes delivered directly to your inbox—with all the books mentioned on the podcast and links to the books we discuss—sign up for our email newsletter.

This episode is sponsored by Books & Whatnot, the newsletter dedicated to books, bookselling, and bookish folk; check out their newsletter archive here. Follow Books & Whatnot on Twitter at @booksandwhatnot.

Chapter I

In which We Discuss Bookstore Bathrooms, Discover that Staff Picks Work, and Talk About... Books...

Before we start drinking, check out Novel Neighbor's bathroom:

We’re Drinking

It's too hot for bourbon, so we're rocking dirty gin martinis out of mason jars, coffee mugs, and martini glasses (apparently Kim's the classy one this episode).

Holland's Reading

Amazing Adventures of Aaron Broom by A E Hotchner (for Novel Neighbor's Subscription program)

Paperback Crush: The Totally Radical History of '80s and '90s Teen Fiction by Gabrielle Moss (pubs 10/30/18)

The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers by Maxwell King (the audiobook is read by LeVar Burton!)

Harry's Trees by Jon Cohen

The Anna Karenina Fix: Life Lessons from Russian Literature by Viv Groskop (pubs 10/23/18)

Emma's Reading

I'm Fine, But You Appear to Be Sinking by Leyna Krow

They Can't Kill Us Until They Kill Us by Hanif Abdurraqib

Betwixt-And-Between: Essays on the Writing Life by Jenny Boully

Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover

Kim's Reading

Unbound: Transgender Men and the Remaking of Identity by Arlene Stein

When Katie Met Cassidy by Camille Perri

Juliet Takes a Breath by Gabby Rivera

Forthcoming & Newly-New Titles We're Excited About

Hannah's Excited About

The Diary of a Bookseller by Shaun Bythell

What If This Were Enough? by Heather Havrilesky (pubs 2018 Oct 2)

The Disasters by M K England (pubs 2018 Dec 12) - The Breakfast Club meets Guardians of the Galaxy!

Hungover: The Morning After and One Man's Quest for the Cure by Shaughnessy Bishop-Stall (pubs 2018 Nov 20)

Time's Convert by Deborah Harkness

Kim's Excited About

Washington Black by Esi Edugyan (author of Half-Blood for folks who love Sing Unburied Sing and The Underground Railroad. author of Half-Blood Blues)

Monstress Volume 3 by Marjorie Liu

Vengeful by V E Schwab (follow up to Vicious)

The Fifth Risk by Michael Lewis

Shade: A Tale of Two Presidents by Pete Souza (author of Obama: An Intimate Portrait)

Emma's Excited About

Severence by Ling Ma

Rosewater by Tade Thompson

Also mentioned: The Murders of Molly Southbourne

Exit Stage Left: The Snagglepuss Chronicles by Mark Russell and Mike Feehan (author of the Flintstones comic reboot)

Bonus Podcast Recommendation: Super Skull

All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung (pubs 2 Oct 2018)

Friday Black by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah (pubs 23 Oct 2018)

Y'all. Hot take here. Staff picks work! Emma had a staff pick on All the Lives I Want and Holland actually picked it up at Elliott Bay while visiting Seattle before our episode! (Shout out to our episode with Amy Stephenson from The Booksmith, who initially recommended it to us, and to our favorite audiobook provider, Libro.fm.)

View this post on Instagram

Picked this up @elliottbaybookco from their #stafffavorite shelf, cracking it open tonight. #essays #hollandreads #literarytourism #shoplocal @grandcentralpub

A post shared by The Novel Neighbor (@novelneighbor) on Jul 29, 2018 at 4:54pm PDT

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Chapter II [26:37]

In Which No One Tells Holland She's Crazy, People Love Their Greeting Cards, The Drunk Booksellers Marvel at Novel Neighbor's Ability to Handsell Events, and We Reiterate that Bookstores are a Business (whaaaa?)

The Novel Neighbor: More Than A Bookstore

The Novel Neighbor is not just a bookstore. In addition to author events, they host birthday parties, summer camps, bookstore yoga, and adult classes (like continuing ed, but sexier), among other things (sorry Amanda!).