#Maisy this is like a less good version of your Ronan thing

[luci-cunt]

It’s late early and I’m supposed to be doing other things but uuuuhhhhh Nightvale-ish AFtG au

After Mary died Neil just straight up had a psychotic break. He woke up four weeks later--having met some god-like entity and subsequently eating their soul and taking all their power--wearing a chicken mask and clothes made of actual traffic cones and just walked up to Nathan and killed him by snapping his fingers and yeeting the bastard into the void

Then he walked away. 

Fast forward a couple of years and we’ve got Andrew, who’s at this point just an exhausted ex-college student. He did the whole “exy scholarship for Aaron” but then they had a big fight, Andrew walked out and he never came back

Now he works at a generic convenience store in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere and he’s just kind of floating through life

The town is weird, but Andrew’s just convinced at this point he’s having a constant mental breakdown so yeah--sure John come on in and ask if the fucking gas n’ gulp has eyedrops for your third eye for the fifth time this week--why the fuck not. 

People come in with weird pets all the time (the least weird being an actual shadow with glowing red eyes and the most weird--by far--being a chihuahua with a shockingly mild temperament)

Oh and there’s the radio

Every single station in town plays that fucking station--even personal radios--even radio apps. No matter how many times Andrew tries to put regular ass music on in the store it just makes a horrible screeching staticky noise and then his voice starts droning

It always starts off inane, and then gets weirder, but again--Andrew’s pretty sure this is all some ridiculously vivid lucid dream and he’ll wake up in the dorms at Palmetto liek nothing happened

(one thing that convinces him of this is the fact that one day he realizes he’s never left the convenience store, and when he tries to he gets a pounding headache and the resounding urge to refill the slurpee machine that’s been broken ever since Clarence’s Niece’s “dog” pissed on it and melted the entire wall)

Eventually radio man finally pays Andrew a visit--and despite his appearence the radio is still droning on over the loudspeaker. 

Neil comes up to the counter--wearing an absurd amount of those little round plastic seals that come on the mouths of bottles as rings and braceletes. 

he asks for a coconut

Andrew tells him to fuck off and stop hijacking the radio

Neil sighs but says a papaya would also do

Andrew repeats his terms

Neil agrees, Andrew slams coconut water down on the counter (he doesn’t knwo where it came from, he certainly wasn’t holding it--at least, he thinks he wasn’t)

Neil isn’t pleased, but he takes it and leaves with an ominous window rattling

The radio stops playing Neil’s show, but now it’s stuck on Polka music and Andrew wants to tear his hair out again

He tries leaving but still can’t--this time compelled to reach up into the ceiling in the bathroom and take the strangely pulsing cash ball that’s been growing up there like mold down. 

He doesn’t know how much time passes but eventually Neil comes back, this time he comes to the counter asking for a bone

Andrew asks what kind of bone

Neil says he’s not particular

Andrew can’t tell if Neil’s flirting

Neil says he’s not

Andrew wonders if he said that out loud

Neil says he didn’t

Andrew hands him a femur he’s pretty sure he wasn’t holding before and tells him to quit playing Polka

Neil leaves, the radio station changes to Christian Rock and Andrew plots to murder Neil

This time when Andrew tries to leave he throws a rock through the front window of the store front--only just now realizing he’s only ever seen the night through the windows

The hole he creates is empty, and when he reaches through it his hand starts to fold away into nothing, so he duct tapes a garbage back over the hole and puts a wet-floor sign under it to stop people from walking on the broken glass

Neil returns, this time holding a rock like it’s a child and when Andrew asks what it’s name is--for some reason--Neil says it’s nameless

Andrew wonders if that’s supposed to be a metaphor

Neil says it isn’t--shut up you don’t know what you’re talking about

Andrew was pretty sure he didn’t say that outloud

Neil says he didn’t--fuck off--stop thinking so loud your face is weird, and then he throws the rock through the hot dog warmer that only spins rotisserie chickens with too much rosemary on them. 

The music changes again, this time to a more reasonable alt. rock station, but Andrew’s still not pleased

one day Andrew takes one of the jugs of milk out of the fridge and tries to smash it on the floor but it just bounces like it’s made of rubber. When he takes a sip it still tastes like milk--oddly almondy though--he decides he’s better off without

When Neil comes in next Andrew tells him the milk is stupid and bounces, Neil says he’s stupid for thinking milk doesn’t bounce. 

Andrew wonders why there isn’t any icecream in the shop

Neil says it’s because of Mrs. Cherry’s Sunday Assault

Andrew doesn’t bother to think about how he’s pretty sure he didn’t say that out loud--but he’s pretty sure

Neil leaves without buying anything, the radio changes again, this time playing something that sounds like whale noises looped with blender noises

Andrew wants to kill Neil again

Neil comes back, Andrew doesn’t kill him, the radio changes, the milk still bounces and Archie Donovan’s chihuahua is still disconcertingly nice

One day Andrew’s throwing spoons at a wall of chewed and still sticky gum that’s suddenly always been behind the counter when Neil comes in

Andrew thinks about how much he’d kill for icecream

Neil leaves

The freezer’s suddenly stalked with ice cream

The next time Neil comes in Andrew asks if Mrs. Cherry is dealing with her rage alright and Neil tells him she’s dealing great--death does wonders for anger management

Andrew wonders if that’s a threat

Neil tells him its not

And then he explodes

He’s back next week though--or next hour or year or whatever, time moves like dog piss here

The radio has changed so much Andrew isn’t even sure if he remember what real music sounds like anymore

The doors open but it’s always night

The bell rings even though there is no bell

The slurpee machine is still broken

The wad of cash mold over the bathroom has started up again

Andrew keeps thinking he’s going to wake up

Neil asks him if he wants to

Andrew isn’t sure

Neil asks him if he really thinks he’s dreaming

Andrew isn’t sure

Neil asks him if he’s sure of anything

Andrew tells him he’s sure of wanting to murder Neil

(his voice croaks and he realizes he hasn’t used it in ages)

Neil laughs, but tells him he’s free to leave whenever he wants

And the next time Andrew goes to the door, it swings open freely

(he goes back to work the next day though)

(Neil’s back on the radio)

(this time he wishes Andrew a good morning)

(Andrew wonders if he’s losing his mind)

(Neil asks if that’s a bad thing)

(Andrew isn’t sure)